Girlfriends, Not Gurus

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and look at it. I was like wow, you know, and she's just like, you're doing too bad. So yeah, it was just like kind of like the like the shake up that I needed. So I was like, one more thing I can add, I can add more on no bicky. But yeah, so that's how you can tuse. I was like, wait, what do we open with? But let's get right into the souluce. I heard you had some tay.

We all know. But there's still so many of his fans and I have I had friends that I don't I have friends who are involved with their churches who I didn't know were such Dave Ramsey fanatics. And there are still a lot of people following him who don't

know about all of his foolishness. So we talked about last week the Fox News interview where he went on there and put his whole foot in his mouth talking about although he would never say that, in fact, he's doubled down on the statement that he made that of course he has about how if you need a six hundred dollars or fourteen hundred dollars stimulus check, then your life you were basically screwed quote unquote before you know,

way before you ever needed the government's handout. And we talked about that last week and since then, I think I had not seen this article, and Tiff, had you've seen this article, the one that came out in the January.

a link in the article. His team's response will tell you everything you need to know about the Dave Ramsey what is it called, Dave Ramsey Solutions company. It was mind blowingly, it was sarcastic, it was rude, it was disrespectful, and it just reminded me so much of the Trump administration and how they responded to anything that was, you know, short of overt just you know, anything that wasn't a Fox News like love fest. They would respond with bullying

and with derision and and attack you know, reporters. And the scathing response from his team was just it was it was beyond the pale. It was insane. But the article itself the reason they were so mad, I mean it it talks about so Dave Ramsey. He you know, Dave Ramsey Solutions. His corporation consists of so much more than just his talk show. He's got you know, Financial Peace University, which that's the that's the financial education like course that he has gotten to be taught in all

these churches across the country. Right, it's like a nine week course or something. On top of that, he sells financial products. He has like you know, he has this a team of of of deputized Dave ramsiers and and you know they sell a lot more than just Dave Ramsey the talk show. They really like evangelize his followers and to actually work in Dave Ramsey, as this article says. According to the article, they have to interview your spouse because your spouse has to be of you know, of

Christian faith and not just like Christian faith. They actually have a moral code of ethics like at the company, and if they find you stepping a toe out of line, they can just fire you, apparently, and they have yes. So one woman, the story that got me the most was the one woman who she asked for maternity leave benefits under the federal the FMLA, the Federal Medical Leave Act. She asked for her maternity benefits and they said, no, you are not married. And by the way, you're fired

because you had pre marital sex. They fired, like that's the thing that they can do. Somehow. They fired her. They fired someone else because his wife posted in a Facebook group that she was concerned because his company, Dave Ramsey, was asking hundreds of employees to get back to work very soon after the pandemic broke out. He was he was right there alongside Trump talking about how it was just gonna be a blip, don't worry, nothing to be

concerned about. If you don't come to work, then you're a woos you know, like literally saying those words literally. And what was the thing about the gun? What did he was he waving a gun sound for?

let people talk to you crazy? You know what I mean? Like that's I don't know. I mean, I guess we've all been there, Lord knows, I've been there. But like This is supposed to be a play place of service and kindness, I would think, but to have people talk to you crazy. I'm not talking about like these people who work there, because I know obviously some people are

like I need to feed my family. But I'm saying with taking advice from someone who talks to you crazy when there are other places that you can take advice from. That's what I mean.

aside for retirement. And I was like, well, you miss out, you know, if you don't do that. She'said, well, you know at she was like forty seven, fifty years old. My heart sunk for her. I said, wait a minute, you haven't. You haven't said aside for retirement yet, and she said, well, it took me a long time to pay off my house. I was like, honestly, I'm I said, I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but you've lost that on like thirty years of compounding interest toward toward taking

care of your older self. You've got fifteen more years to put aside everything you've got toward time. What kind of life is that?

thing is, it's the religious element for me. I mean that is his audience, right, I mean he sees himself as this like financial messiah in a way. And I think people who are prone to follow any you know, to follow a religion in general, like you, you have to put your faith into something that And I'm not I personally, I am not incredibly religious. I'm from the South,

I've you know, I had my feelings about religion. But in general, you know, any religion across the board, you have to put your faith into higher power and you have to accept certain beliefs and accept certain stories in order to like you have to accept a level of truth about the religion that you're entering it. And they all tell a story. You accept that version of the story.

You say, I am this religion. And I think that that type of you know, profile is a little bit they're more willing to, you know, put their faith in like you said, the one person and can you talk about Tiffany because I actually I sat in on one of your many lives that we you know, one of your jillion lives that you do on Insta because you're not busy enough. And I think you reminded me of one of the things that you always say is you're

not a fan of gurus, you know, like Dave. So do you want to talk about that a little bit.

aspects of a particular topic. So like, for example, right, so if you think personal finance, you think insurance, estate planning, investing, budgeting, savings, credit. So if you think of all of those things, having someone be an expert in all ten components of something that I call financial hollness. My obligatory push from my book, get good with money available at getgodmney dot com. So but all you can't possibly be the super pro in

all those things. I actually encourage people. Don't come to

me for everything. You know, Get some of this from me, Get some of this from Nativa, Get some of this from Sandy, some of this from ash Cash, some of this from Earn Your Leisure, some of this from Kevin, some of this from Tila and Courtney, And I encourage that because then when something is incongruent, when you're like hum I heard Tiffany say this, but I feel like Kevin said this, that you can make decisions that are in alignment with you and your goals, you are able

to think more critically. I don't want anyone to follow me blindly. You should be questioning me and everyone that you're listening to, because you're supposed to be practicing discernment, especially financial discernment. So that's why I always say I'm not your financial guru, I'm your financial girlfriend. Because when you have a guru, they like for example, dr might be really good at teaching you how to budget and safe.

That's great, but he's the same person that's also told you now until you pay off your mortgage, don't set aside for your older self. So when you're eating cat food and he's living high off the heart because that man's business is worth well over four hundred million dollars, right, so he's not gonna come save.

I'm here to help those who you know, would like to like to try something different, and to expose you to other people that have barrier levels of expertise in different topics. That's why I partner so much. But yeah, I don't believe in financial gurus. I believe that you should be looking for a myriad of teachers. If one

person had all the answers. Then you would go to college and never switch classes, right like, and you would just have this one professor also teaches psychology, oh and statistics, oh and human you know, human anatomy, oh and your

English class. Like that's just not how that works, because you know, the human brain is only capable of so much and so like, I just think that I want you to democratize how you get financial education so you can develop discernment, because one person cannot possibly have all

the answers. And if someone shames you and tries to instill fear and blame because you are asking questions, you know, because you don't follow blindly, you know, that should be a real a huge red flag that a human being wants you to follow them blindly, you know, like this is not your parent, you know. And even then, ideally parents should not be looking for their children to follow

them blindly, but a random person that's control. If you've had that article, please the Lincoln's in our description of this this podcast, read that article. You are going to be horrified. I actually gave him too much credit. I was like, oh my gosh, I did too.

or hear him on a podcast. He's just so ubiquitous, you know, so even if they have and the thing is, he is in the way of voices like ours. And that's why, I mean, can we do a little happy dance for your Leisure right now? Have y'all? I feel like probably. I mean I was late to the Earn your Leisure party because you know, I had a baby and I was in a fog for so damn long.

And they've only been around for two years. But these are two amazing men, Troy Millings Rashad Bilal and by the way, they're from Greenberg, which is where I live.

is on their network. And as a result, that's just like number Vision. He's been on Bron and Bish that's right, So you don't girl, I'm because I talked to ask, like, you know, that's like my brother from not mother. So I like, how many times have we have just chatted? I'm like, what's it on? Brown and bish and chatting? But yeah, And I'm just so impressed with what the

guys are doing. And I'm just really glad that there's so many alternatives that and and I love the I don't know if you saw, like obviously some of them, the comments that they were like, thank you so much for like this, that amazing list that we were just kind of spewing out and another person and another person and another person, because I think it's, like I said, it's important that you see that there are so many

amazing financial educators and experts out there. You don't have to get yelled at to learn.

show called Social Proof is this name Sean. I forget he was on and the you don't see and I don't take for granted, but like you don't see three black men celebrating like that, I mean every day, you know, and the fact that they are presenting this image that we are black men, we are supporting each other, we

are we are growing. And one of my favorite things that they said was the importance of asking for help and how often in black and brown communities you feel like you have to do it all on your own, because I mean you do. You do have to do it all on your own in the beginning, often because people may may not have the knowledge that's easily accessible to you, or you don't have the resources because of

all the reasons that are out of your control. But he and the two co hosts for Shot and Troy, you know, they really talk about how with their network they lean into other podcasters and there is space for everyone, you know, and that when they went, we went, I mean, I don't even know them personally, but I feel like I know them. I feel like my cousins have hit the top spot on iTunes. They made me want Brown Ambition up there. I'm like, why are we on the top?

I never really think about chart rankings, but I'm like, dang people, so listen. I learned from them that night I didn't. We've always talked about leaving comments and reviews if you guys want to help Brown Ambition, and we have that of listeners every week, thousands and thousands. We only have like thirteen hundred comments and reviews on our podcast. We could really use you guys. You know, we do the show for free for you. We could really use y'all to go to iTunes and not just like and

review our show, but subscribe. Like apparently, subscribing on iTunes is the magic, magical theory dust that is what drives the rankings. And I know a lot of people they don't necessarily subscribe, but just listen. They just listen, And you've got to just click that subscribe button and listen. If it's if it's telling you that you don't have enough data, you know, just delete some photos you don't just you know, just use your cloud storage spiffy. They

have all kinds of things to free up space. Now help us out, like we've been in this game for so long, and if that's what we have been missing all along, it's just reminding you all to subscribe, like please do it and then you'll get a reminder every Wednesday when the show is on, which is only you know, we're not gonna spam you. It just means you'll get the show first and you'll find out about it first, and so shout out to earn your leisure for sure, because that was ahu it was.

maybe ten? Maybe ten? And I wonder what kind of strings do we know yet, like how you're supposed to like, I know they have to put a bill through, but do you need to have a sense of what you'll need to like do or have in order to be eligible for that forgiveness.

of her business out here. I'll try to I'll try to dial it back and not put it all out there. But so she's been she's been staying here and helping with the baby, and she had taken a break from school and she's just trying to like, you know, she's twenty three. She's trying to figure out, you know, do I want to do what I've set out to do. She's in that existential young twenties kind of space. Also, there's a pandemic and she needed a place, I needed help.

So it all worked out. But I have found through talking to her that and this is like a really it's just opened me up to like even bigger conversations around what can happen in a dynamic of a family when you actually have a lot of help from your parent.

And I don't mean financial help, I mean help doing things like like as in a parent does everything for you, you know, fills out the forms for college, fills out your fast before you, Like she really has not had to do any of that herself, and therefore she knew nothing about how it all worked. And on top of that, you know, when you have a parent who's paid for your car, paid for your rent even though she worked, you know, I always checked him with Anna, she's always working.

She wasn't doing those things like checking her credit you know, we're getting a credit check for an apartment, or you know, dealing with going to an auto an auto dealer and negotiating a car price, Like she wasn't involved in those situations and I'm starting to understand, like the real detriment when you have a when you have parents who are way too involved, Like the bumpers are always on, you know, is that what they could their kids always on?

That's something that's going to change in the directory of her life, you know, keeping on track with that.

I'm going to be her, be there for her. I'm going to help set her on the right path, you know, have the things that I didn't have. But it's almost like an over correction in a way. And I'm as a mom, I am just absorbing all of this, and I'm like, Okay, okay, let's especially because of the space we're in, it's going to be hard to watch. It's gonna be really hard to watch my kid, to watch Rio grow up and maybe make some bad choices, but I'm really seeing the what can happen on the other side.

So yes, so Anna, we sat down and we ran her credit picked. We went to discover scorecard. I love that site. It's free. It's a free way to get your fighto. And yeah, looking at her credit report, she's like, oh, damn, I have a couple of student loans that my dad took out for my tuition. But I didn't know that he took them out and he wasn't doing it. It was not nefarious, but she didn't know you know, and maybe you should, like everyone should know, you know, about their

financial picture and that little bit of knowledge. I'm starting to see her get more empowered. And so that's what's been on my mind lately, Like how can I My therapist is like, Mandy, you better back off, like you don't need to, like you don't need to be that much involved unless she really wants you to. I'm trying to like toe that line, you know, like like you said, your financial girlfriend, your financial friend. You know, we're cousins, we're very close. But I'm not trying to do it.

I don't want to make the same mistake. I don't want to try to do everything for her. But I am trying to like just empower her with some basic knowledge, you know.

and you shouldn't ask anyone for free information basically. And I see it a lot that you know, and so I have like mixed feelings about how I feel about that sentiment. So I just wanted because when I saw that, I was like, let's see what does Mandy think about Like when people quote unquote want to pick your brain, do you feel like you're like get out of here, like I'm not telling you nothing.

giving people access to power and knowledge. And for me, I'm really passionate about, you know, talking to people about their career and how to navigate their careers and and you know, move through the quote unquote corporate world or whatever. If we're really serious about that, we have to acknowledge that the way that it's been done, which it has been very closed off to us in terms of knowledge, how do things get done? How do you become you know,

an executive or get to a board seat? How you know, how does this happen? That information has been held back from us once I almost feel like, once you gain knowledge, in order to really break the system, we need to stop playing by their games once we get there. So my whole thing is, once I get in a room and I gain knowledge, I wish people would ask me like, what do you know? Because I would be willing to

share it. And I think you know why I said, fear and insecurity might have held me back in the past. Is when you're the only one, you might be a little scared. It's like it's this and they want you to feel this way too. I think they being like, you know, the system, it's better for them if we're not talking and sharing information, right, That's why they didn't teach slaves how to read. Access to knowledge is the key to equality. And yet I just I feel person

that in my space. If you ever want to pick my brain, it's pickable. I respond to all of our dms for a reason. I want people to know that we're accessible and that we can answer questions, and we take questions on this show, we do brown ambition, like of course we love sharing what we know. But so I think that sentiment I don't agree with it. I think if you get to a certain level, it's your duty, it's your responsibility, especially if you're a person of color.

It's an additional little piece of pressure that I think we carry to turn around and try to help someone else.

did a joint intro. I feel like making an introduction to someone for you to help them without giving some of the other person a heads up. I don't like, right, that's like me being like, oh, hey, Mandy, this is my friend Tyra. Tyra needs some things, so you guys connect, okay, And meanwhile, I have your number? Why not? Why not say hey, Mandy? Is that okay? It's like when you were a kid and used to bring your friend to the car and be like can you drive? Can you?

Can you drive Mandy home? Like look at me, like if you don't step away.

So I ended up getting on the phone with the woman, and you know, I poured into her for like an hour and a half and this is what I do and this and this and that, and then she like roll back to get back on my calendar again for like the next week and the next week, and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm not available for like what we I can't do a weekly to our call.

And she was upset by it and expressed it and it was like basically upset that I wouldn't give her any additional time, like if it had been like saying like a few months from now, sure, but she thought that I was just going to be there for her every week. I just met her through this other person. And then she also had made the assumption that we were going to do business together. She's like, oh, I

can't wait to do this project with you. I'm like, uh, I never agreed to that, So it was really awkward. I actually had to write the other person because she

got nasty. So I had to write the other person and say, Hey, so that person you introduced me to, this is what happened, and just moving forward, if you do ever want to connect me with someone please ask before giving out my personal information, because it really her nasty and she was I think we actually ended up jumping on the phone, and she was so embarrassed, like I'm so sorry, girl. I didn't know it was like she was like what, I just thought you guys would

have a conversation. I didn't know it was gonna like turn into this. So I think that type of sentiment is born from those types of interactions, and as a result, people have a blanket. I ain't helping nobody.

But yeah, whenever I see that, it just seems so off putting because I always think to myself whenever I see those posts, like you know, you can't pick my brain until you pay my invoice. I'm like, I'm sure that there was a brain that you picked that you

an in which was not paid. You know that. I believe that when you're blessed, it's blessings are supposed to flow not just to you but through you, and in not doing so, you actually miss out because there are people who are poured into who ended up just like giving me life like a year, two years, five years later, you know, so many of my biggest opportunities were like, yeah, girl, you don't remember me from three years ago. You helped me out. And so now that I'm at own network,

they were looking for someone I told them you. That was literally a conversation I had like a few weeks ago. I was like, wait, what so And that's not the reason to do it, you know, but I will just say that you reap. My mother would always say that

you reap what you sew. You don't always rewhere you So, so just keeping in mind that I get it that there's there are definitely people who walk around with a sense of entitlement, but that shouldn't keep you from from from pouring into folks who you know, you really think it's gonna it's gonna do something really good with the information that you give them, because at some point you're gonna need help as well, and so you have.

to Sharon. I was always following her and trying to see what she was writing about, and you know, and I went to the same event as her, and I was a reporter, so several years ago, I went to the same event, I think it was at the United Nations and I saw Sharon and she had an assistant. She was like badass and everything. And I went up to her and introduced myself and she very you know, politely, but basically brushed me off, like I don't have time to really talk to you, but definitely send me an

email and we can catch up. I think I was talking on just telling her about me and that I'd love to chat with her sometime. And I did email her and I asked her to be on the podcast and didn't hear back. Maybe I got like a couple one email but didn't get any follow up, and you know, I just let it go because she's a busy, busy woman. I didn't think anything of it. And a year later I remembered, I was like, let me follow up with Sharon and see what's going on with her now and

just reintroduce myself. Turns out Sharon ha had a brain aneurysm and was in the hospital for several months and we ended up having a great conversation, we had her on the podcast, and now she is a great friend and mentor of mine. And that was a yes. So that was an example of just because you don't immediately get to sit down with someone, it doesn't mean that it's it's because they don't think that you're worth their time. I mean everyone is just a person. Like at the end of the day, you know.

because I'm always grateful when people reach out. So we reached out to say, hey, there may be some sort of opening, and this lady wrote back, I'm good because you're a short email. Maybe one day when I get famous, that's when Tiffany will will want to participate. I was like,

I had to literally go back to the email. I thought, oh my goodness, what do we say because maybe maybe it was like na girl, you know what I mean, Like because I have a new executive admin, I thought maybe there was a misstep, and I went back to read the email. I had to read the email like three times, like in the chain like this email. This email was shun It was like four sentences of gushing but thank you and we wish you the best on your event. It looks really great. She wasn't mad about

the email. She was mad because I didn't do what she wanted when she wanted me to do it, and so that kind of reaction just and I can't understand the disappointment. But you're an adult, like Roman, when I tell him no cookies, I know why he throws a temperatanentrum. He's five, But throwing a tempertanentrum when you're an adult, when someone doesn't give you agency over their time and energy or money or whatever, you know, you know, it's

just it's not appropriate. And what you do do is that you guarantee that they will never work with you, you know. And she made oh there's something else, so she said that. I thought it was super petty. I told all my family and friends, how you get down?

could just leave a little bit of help. People sometimes are busy or or in experiencing trauma or swamp or just didn't see it so and that's okay. Or sometimes they just don't want to do it, and that's okay, you know. So just being mindful of that, then you should always reach out and ask if you're needing a thing, But know that no one's yes is promised to you, and that's okay, But you will get a yes from somebody and it will be the right somebody at the right time.

a little bit of a while ago. But quick, quick, quick, hey ladies, thank you for a bountiful podcast filled with precious jewels. Here's my question. What would be the best way to tackle debt? If my husband and I have forty thousand dollars worth of debt and credit cards, student loans, and personal loans, should we consolidate or use a snowball method where both students have full time jobs a mortgage, but we struggle to save money trying to pay off

our debt. Your advice is much appreciated. Please keep me anonymous. All right, what was it?

I'm not saying like because I know people are like, no, don't go into forbearance or deferment girl, if they are federal loans. I was a deferment queen until I can get some space. I was like, I'm gonna pay off this credit card debt, defer my student loans until I have some space. I don't know what you mean by personal loans. Is this like to your mom and cousins and them because they come third? Then they could wait

unless like they need to eat. But I would focus on credit card debt first if you're not able to save it all I and if it's federal student loans, I would consider doing that. And I would consider deferring or for barancing my federal student loans. If you don't have I would consider like there's like companies like so Far that allow you to basically refinance your student loans at a lower interest rate if your credit score is decent.

I would consider doing that as well. And for the credit card debt, if your interest rate is decent, I would consider looking at balanced transfer cards or balance transfer card to at least that's when you can transfer the balance of your credit card debt to another card with a zero percent interest rate, so all your money goes to the principle, and you could pay that debt off faster. So every one hundred dollars, all one hundred goes to

the principle. So cause that's how I got out of thirty five thousand dollars worth of credit card debt while I'm unemployment in like three years. I did balance transfer cards, I put my student loan debt and for barance. Everybody else had to wait, and I got rid of those credit cards first to give myself some space.

sounds like you're already on the right track. So I definitely give you major kudos for that, because honestly, like telling your partner about your debt or about your finances, it really does feel like it's almost more awkward less way more awkward than like your first kiss or you know, sleeping together. Even it's like, oh, my debt, Yeah, like you worry about that. I feel like even more so, it's great that y'all are even having the dialogue.

But yeah, they've stopped interest accruing on student loans and you don't have to make payments for a while, So a little bit of reprieve there, and then you can maybe use your funds for those other goals. Okay, I'm gonna squeeze one more quick question in there, because this is a good one and we haven't talked about this yet. This question came from oh what's her name? Oh the KP Life. Oh she's always so sweet and sending lots of dms. So the KP Life sets Happy New Year,

Happy Earth. Sorry this is from January.

that the bank black movement? Yeah, so Killer Mike in Atlanta shout out to atl has been I mean, he really hit the national scene this past summer when he came out and supported Black Lives Matter, and I mean he's always been a huge activist and very vocal, but he got extra extra shine. And then Jesse Williams, who I know, because yes, I still watch Grays Anatomy and I will till the day I die if they continue

releasing seasons of it. But he's a doctor on Grey's Anatomy, so he's actually financing this venture, or at least co financing it. And yeah, it hasn't launched yet, so I don't so as far as my take on it, they haven't launched yet. But I love the idea. I love that we're if this is the beginning of a new black bank renaissance. I am all for that because I do believe, you know, circulating wealth in our communities is is hugely important. But they I know, right now, there's

like a wait list. So if you join. They don't actually have a product right now, but I love the concept of it.

their neighborhood to come with them. No oh yeah, yeah. They tried to say, oh, you know, we went there to be a good I went there to be a good father. My kids wanted to go. And then someone in the listen, don't trust the soccer mom. Someone in her her text message group took a screenshot, sent it through the New York Times and was like, nah, she's lying because this is her trying to rally us all together and get us to go to Kancun to escape

the cold and the lack of power and water. You know that's a yeah, but I digress my break, I'm sorry, my boost. I'm going to do a boost. I'm gonna shout I'm going to shout out jay Z because it came out today or yesterday. It came out recently that he has sold half of his champagne brand, The jay

Z Empire continues, okay, and that he yeah, amazing. So he has sold his champagne brand to LVMH, which is the same brand that owns dom Perion and Moayyi Chandon, and they've taken a fifty percent stake in his in jay Z's brand, which is called armand de Brenanc, also known as Ace of Spades. So shout out to Jay

continuing to drive his empire. And the reason I found out because I get all my news from Tina Knowles, is she posted a tribute to her son in law on instead and I thought that was really sweet, and she shouted him out for all the work that he does because you know, he got a lot of shit when he joined the NFL and became the head of their entertainment for the Super Bowl and all that, and she was basically saying he deserves all the shine, and

he really is. I mean, he is defining what it is to be to age well, I think in hip hop and in business and yeah, he's always lifting up the community. And go get your coins, j.

on TV one. And that's just like when, like, you know, because I watched, like I've been following her since she was a bell in Brooklyn and seeing how she's grown. She used to work at Essence and then she was an editor Essence and then she she's just had this amazing career and so to see this book that she wrote, because I mean, I don't think any of my books, they're not like you're not gonna have a movie about budgeting.

But I just think to see somebody who's like I feel like I adjacent, no, like you know, like I don't talk to on the phone, but you know we Instagram. Just to see someone that like I adjacent to know, have a book turned into a movie that she got to be a part of. It's just one of those surreal things like becoming a New York Times bestseller, which you can help me be if you get get good with money at kikosmoney dot com. But yeah, so that is my that is my boost and my break though

it's just gonna be. I just want to again thank you to Zinga because my break is to is to not overwork myself. Oh I love that because yeah, because it's been hard, like and it's you know, people always like, well, tivity your team, and I'm like, I the issue really isn't my team, it's me. I've got this a really awesome team, and oftentimes I don't give them the oppert tunity because they'll take things off my plate and I'll

take it right on back. And so like it's not that, it's just it's something that's why I have my coaches. That's why you know, I'm really proactive with Oh I've been trying to be you know, really proactive in doing better. But and Zinger really just like called me to the carpet and she just you know, it was just something that I really needed. And so like if you need that sign, like am I doing too much? This is the sign you likely are that it is possible to

achieve your dreams without killing yourself. She said something too, like, you know, preserving your feminine energy. Like you know, she said, sometimes it's almost like when women used to wear the power suits. And not to say that women can't wear a power suit, but it's okay to achieve success in a way that that still aligns with how you show up as a woman. You don't have to transform yourself into a man in order to be successful. And so it was just a reminder that I needed. They're like, girl,

it make magic happen. Girl, Like women are capable of bring life into this world. We are capable of doing so much much without breaking ourselves, you know. So it was just like I said, that reminded that I needed. And it's a nice little I guess that's kind of like a breaky boost, a boost for that word of reminder, but a break from team too much.

got seven minutes. Okay, no, we get I feel very much like yes and shout out to the women who who really had to play by the man's playbook in the seventies, eighties, nineties, two thousand tens. I feel today my perspective going into a senior leadership role the last place I was at and now now and continuing that path. My thing is, so you hired a working mom, like so, I breastfed my child on my very first interview call with Ally. Okay, not on camera, but he was there.

I had to because I'm a working mom during a pandemic, right and my whole thing is and maybe the pandemic is giving me that extra confidence. But if you're going to hire me and put me in a position of power, I'm going to be my whole self. And that means if you put a calendar invite out there for four thirty to five thirty meeting I'm going to drop off at five pm because that is the half hour I have to spend with my baby before I do the podcast.

Like those, it's very and I feel like I was always putting a lot of pressure on myself at my last job because I was managing team. I'm a woman in power, so I need to set an example for what that looks like. And that means you can talk about, you know, having you can acknowledge those other complex parts of your personality. You know, you can, you can be who you are, but you can also bring in the fact that you're a mother or this isn't just about mom.

It's about the pressure on women to take care of elderly relatives or to be the primary caretaker if someone in the family is ill, you know, and during a pandemic year, working like moms have, I mean women, women have been hit from all different directions, especially Black women, because you come from a base of you know, very little resources and support and infrastructure sent you know, set up to support you. It's just we've done a terrible

job in this country. So yes, I think Tiffany and you running your team like first of all, letting people show up for you when you need help that helps them grow, It makes them feel good. It doesn't make you any less of an amazing and fantastic leader and founder that you are. It doesn't at all. But I understand like you get addicted to the grind, and you also feel like when I do it, I do it right, you know, and I want to I want to put my stamp of approval on everything, and you know.

you know, like what's happening in their lives. So I'm conscious of like sometimes being like I don't want to put too much on We take that very seriously, not overworking folks, making sure that this is a joyful place to work, and so as a result, I over sacrifice and sometimes like I might say that, and Lateresa's like girl, she told me the other day, this is the best. This baby, don't cry, this baby, don't this baby's just

like whatever you down for, I'm down for. She's like no. But you see, like I'm making that assumption that someone is needing this space and grace and it's like, no, you need that space and grace. She's fine. And even if you thought that, why not ask like, hey, is this too much for you? You create a safe environment for people to share, Like, girl, it would be a lot. You're taking on this burden without asking someone if you know,

if they're even capable of sharing it with you. So that's because I honestly don't think I could do it the best. I'm always just thinking that I don't want to put additional work on folks, even though.

they've created for themselves intentionally. And so that's that's what I was like, Okay, And so like you know, I'm sometimes we overdo it, like do you need to work the extra two or will the one do? Then? Well, why are you working to too? If the one will get you the sunshine? Why work the extra two if the one will get you the beach, you know, like, well maybe the one will two will get me double beach. No, the law of diminishing return says the two will actually

get you back to the office, you know. Yeah, And so like yeah, so these are things like you know, I like to share that stuff with you guys because I like for you because, especially in entrepreneurship, I feel like people are more honest about not liking a job or struggling in corporate. But I see so much that entrepreneurship is is put on such a pedestal, and not enough people are honest about how hard sometimes it can be to adjust and how sometimes things are amazing and

you're feeling great and other times you're not. I just think that I want more people to be honest, that like, you know that you can be externally successful and really be struggling, because so many of my friends that are entrepreneurs. I mean I I was echoing sentiments that so many people that I know echo and I like being vulnerable

because that also means that people pour into me. And you're right, Mandy, I got a lot of really amazing messages that had me rethink like, well, maybe I'll try this, and maybe I'll try that. I'm always open to learning because a really good teacher is an even better student, and so I don't have ego about correction and learning and doing things better. So I'm always appreciative when you guys reach out and share some of your feedback with me. So thank y'all for that.

the business that he had launched. And he walked right and I saw the bags under his eyes, and I was like, do you want to just sit in this dark conference room for like twenty minutes and just collect or take a nap or something. And he was like, God, yes, and he went into that room and just took some

time for himself. He just and I was like, okay, all right, even though he's doing amazing, business is going great, and it's like you said, like when things are going the best, that's when that is when the gas is empty and you're just like really digging deep and you know you need that extra support. So I hope you get it. I know Team Unicorn wants to be there for you. And if you know, if it's ever anything we can do here over here at Brown Ambition Ink, you just let me know, let me know we could

do to accommodation. But I'm getting you out of here because we have like twenty seconds and you have to go. All right.