So happy to be back, even though I'm feeling slightly under the weather. How are you pick it up?
This is our one? You're in a verse?
I know. Do you know what two days it's serving? You take? You take out soprano? Oh no, I'll take soprano, you take out?
Okay? Thanks?
Do you know what today?
It's showtime? Oh god, it's sorry.
If you're oh my god, that is so weird. I don't know what just happened. Let's see who just.
Ghost turn it some so Tiffany's TV.
Just turn on you guys, I know, and I'm thinking, did I sit on the remote?
No, it just has been a test of your public broadcast podcasting system.
That is weird. I'm like, oh my god, we find out there's a ghost in the house, Like, stop singing.
We are really professional.
Yeah. So if you're tuning in, this is Brown Ambition with Mandy Woodruck and Si and Lecha.
We have not been drinking, but it is our anniversary.
It is and we're super duper excited because who knew when I first met young Mandy, Like, what was it like two or three years ago?
It was the summer of two and eleven.
I believe who knew that. When I was a young Crisp thirty one, I would run into Mandy and we actually became really cool, and then we became friends, and now here we are one Millie.
How many years later, four years later and one year on the podcast, I'm so the love has been so nice. Everyone's just like, I don't know, the last month, people have been sending us all these messages and really supporting the show. So I just feel like we owe you guys a huge thank you for your support. Huge. Yeah, I'm just my mommy and my cousin's listening anymore.
I know, you know, it's so weird, Mandy. It's like, you know, I'm used to people saying like hey, and you know, saying to me like, you know, I really enjoyed a budgetista. But it's so cool. When I was like at a conference in Florida and I was talking, this girl turned around and she said I know that voice brown ambition, and I was like what that was so cool? She was like coll Mandy, I said Ahi, And I was like, look at this. We grow it.
It's happening. And to celebrate our one year anniversary, we gave our website a lovely makeover. We did. It looks pretty legit now it's not a jankie tumbler. Don't hate on my web skills too, legiti quit. We had a professional So thank you miss Terry for upgrading our website. You guys should all go check it out. It's never looked better. It's Brown Ambision Podcast. It's super easy now for you to submit a question, to sign up for the newsletter and to get all the notes from the
show and get in touch with us. So check it out.
It's mobile what do they call it mobile responsive? I was like, look at it on the phone.
Mobile. Oh so you can pull it up on your smartphone. Oh yeah, that's hella important.
Yeah, it looks really good. Looks really good on the phone.
So fresh look. And we're going to have a party on Friday. You if you received and you should have received an email byte app by now from us congratulating you if you were selected to be at our anniversary dinner this Friday.
Yes, we are going to eat the most yummiest Is it Ecuadorian? No, it's Peruvian, Peruvian. It it's so good. We're going to chow down and we get to meet some of our fably scenarios.
Yes, so we're super excited. Sorry if you guys weren't selected. We got a lot of sweet I'm going to find a way to incorporate some of the nice notes we got from people. People really put their hearts into this telling us what brand ambition means to them. And thank you everyone who submitted your comments. I hope we can have an even bigger party next year, but for now, we're keeping it small.
Yeah, keeping it real because you know it's me and Mandy. We're sponsoring it, so you know we're not rich.
I mean, she has the budget needs to.
Know. Well, I have some good news.
Ooh do toe.
So I finally finally signed the least to my office. I know, it felt like so weird. I was like, oh my gosh, like it's real. I've never had it.
Speaking of upgrades, what, no, this is an upgrade.
I thought you had an upgrade this year too.
No, no, no, no.
No, I'm just super excited because I've never had an office space. It'll finally. I just feel like it's time to shift away from just working, you know, at home, because I'm not as productive as I once was working at home. And so I was like, you know it's time for a change of scenery and like not to be like working on the dinner table and like supergirls, like can you pass me the potatoes? And I'm like
over my computer and so yeah, I'm excited. So it's just another next phase in the Budgetnista Sanga.
So when do you officially move in?
I'm hoping that we'll be able to get the painter in this week. And I got a. I got Ikea. Did I mention Ikea?
I don't think you've mentioned it publicly yet?
Oh well, I signed the contract, so I can't say it. So Ikea has agreed to sponsor and basically decorate the space. I mean, we have a designer, but you know it'll be Ikia largely Ikea furniture and stuff. So super excited about that because you don't have the Budgetista, and I was like, how can we circumvent the cost of because it's just a big it's a rectangle, it's just open space, so we have to basically put everything in there. So super excited.
Now here's a valid question. Are they going to build everything for you or they are you just going to get a bunch of boxes? And I have to put everything together yourself.
I know, right, So thankfully, my boo superman is very handy.
So wait, did he know what he was getting himself into when he raised his hand to help you put together your office full of furniture? I know, honestly, my god.
You know.
I mean, if anyone who is your friend right now has like locked your phone number because they know you're going to be calling them the next month, can you come over for a few minutes.
I know, I want to get him in his team of like friends. I'm like, I'll make you guys dinner. Have you guys just put everything together. Yeah, it's going to be a process, but you know we're here for him.
That's exciting though.
Yeah, it is is really excite. I mean, I mean, I just can't wait to have a space that's like, I don't know, just just for work and then when I come home, you know, I can be at home, although I'm sure I'll still do work at home, but it'll be nice to have a space where that's the expectation, it's just work.
It may sound like corny or kind of stupid, but I really just enjoy walking like the commune. I mean, I don't love the commuting but I like getting a little cough and reading on the train and having an office to go to. That's like part of my routine. I feel weird when I just work from home. I mean, and sometimes it's nice, but I've I'm like on the not unproductive work from home train.
I mean I wasn't always, but like lately, I've not been as productive, and I think it's just because there's very little, Like there's no line, there's no delineating line when I'm home. Superman and Supergirl are just like whatever, You're home, so dinner and I'm like, well, I'm doing the podcast. They're like yeah, yeah, yeah, Hey Mandy, So can I have a cookie?
You're like ah, and so the album is napping, I fall asleep.
Oh yeah, an acoholic.
We're gonna have any desks. I'm on the bed and I'm like, I got my sleep.
I know we're going to have a couch there because I need, like, you know, a little a little rest and relaxation throughout my day.
Oh I love a couch in office. Love it got a couch.
So I'm excited.
Good for you guys, that's super exciting and you're sharing it with your publicist.
Right, yes, Drina. So it's gonna cut down the costs significantly. It's like, how much is it. I think it's it's eleven hundred Yeah, eleven hundred dollars a month, so five to fifty a months basically, and that includes utilities, which is awesome.
Yeah, there's so much that goes into like having an office space. I don't even think people realize just beyond the leasing, like what other stuff do you have to like you to buy like a coffee machine and water?
Well, thankfully, it's a it's a warehouse that has been converted into a coworking space. So it's it's four floors and then they have a rooftop, which is I guess the fifth floor.
Oh that's cool.
Yeah, and so every floor has its own like community like and it's really like community kind of room where it's a refrigerator, it's a kitchen seating, so I don't have to provide kind of like that aspect, which is dope and like is it waywork? No, it's it's it's just this really rich guy that bought this warehouse was like, hey, these would be great office spaces because when I like it's funky and industrial, so It's not like office space is like like your doctor's office is in a bunch
of building. You know, it's not like that at all. It's very open and you know it encourages the different businesses in there to interact with each other. It's a mix between rework and regular office space.
That's cool. I like that concept.
Yeah, it's really Honestly, it's so nice. I mean, like when I heard that they had a rooftop and that was all included in that the cafe, You're like, wow, Okay, this space and what I love is a location. It's right in the middle of It's like it meets where New York meets Jersey City meets Hope Boken meets Newark. So it's like in this perfect location fifteen minutes from all of those places.
I think we found a new recording studio.
I know.
Yeah, honeyboo boo, fiancee is trying to convince me to move to Jersey really, yes, Well, the whole reason we're living with the in laws, And if you want a refresh on my whole situation right now is you can either listen to episode Mouse in the House or I can give you a quicker recap we're basically living with my fiance's parents. We've been here since the end of May,
and it's been an interesting summer. But the whole purpose was to move in and like take the opportunity to live rent free for the months leading up to our wedding next spring. So that gave us about ten eleven months, and we're about three months in and like we're really just like maybe we'll make it till January. Maybe. But the whole purpose was to save up for a house, and we've decided, like we've agreed that we're saving up
for a house. What we haven't agreed on is the where. Okay, and a little bit of the win, but mostly the where, like where we're gonna live. It is such a hard decision to make. It's not I mean, we know where we're not gonna live. We can't afford to buy the kind of space that we're looking for in Manhattan or even where we were living in Queens. We just can't.
I mean, it's just nuts how much these apartments we wanted to buy an apartment in Astoria, where we used to live, we'd at least be looking at seven hundred thousand dollars, which is like blowing my mind, blowing my mind. I'm not even kidding. Seven hundred thousand dollars minimum. So we know where we're not living. But then there's other
you know, you have Upstate New York. I call them the Chesters, the Westchester, the port Chester, the eat Chester, or then you have the the Jerseys and the Long Islands. And it's just like my mind is spending all these I just Zillow stresses me out. He's on Trulia every night. I don't know. I just want someone to like pick it out for me.
Yeah. House hunting is can be a lot because there's so many factors. Like me and Superman are house hunting before rental property to rent out, to buy and rent out, and so I mean, I would say first things first start with education. So we're taking although I've bought a home before, I want us to both take a first time home buyer's course.
You know. I'm actually we're going to one this week really where actually it's uh, Tanya, my fab my fab finances, Miss Tanya.
Okay?
Is it rapely or rapily and rapidly?
Yeah? Don't. That's the other one that's a little bit scary.
It is what it is.
I said it before and I was like, she was like, yeah, rapidly, not reeply.
Well, if you haven't heard a missfab Finances, she's another great personal finance educator and she's hosting actually a first time homeowners workshop for in New York City this Wednesday. So I signed us up about a month ago, so it's kind of perfect timing. And she's partnering with I think a real estate expert and they're just gonna work walk us through the beginning stages. Just I mean, we kind of know a little bit, but I just want someone to sit down and like give me the big picture.
We know, like what we have to do financially to prepare, which is just save all of the money that you possibly can. It's like, but you know, yeah, you know, our credit's pretty good, but I don't know. We just I just want to be sure we're prepared as much as possible. And we hired a financial planner and that's been going pretty well. So it just kind of feels like we're putting our big, big boy and girl pants on.
Yeah, that's it free.
Uh, it's it is free. It is free. Yep. If you don't show up, they charge you. Twenty five bucks, which is a good incentive.
Yeah, yeah, so we will be there.
Hey, Tanya, let's save us a seat.
I squad, that's what we call ourselves, like me, Marsha Tian. Yeah, the rest of the money Girls squad squad up time is dope. If you guys are have not checked out her website and the stuff that she does, you can go to myfaffinance dot com. Now that's dope. So let's talk about Oh poor go ahead, pork, No, it's gonna say poor Hillary.
Oh Hillary. It was really weird. First of all, is nine to eleven this weekend, and I always try to watch like the uh the ceremony online you know, we're not online on TV where they do the name readings at the memorial and it's always really sad, and I start crying and I make it to like the CA's and then I gotta turn it off. But I saw I got a text alert that Hillary collapsed and I was worried, and I guess she has pneumonia.
Yeah, that's that's what I heard. I'm sure she's running herself ragged.
People are like, why are we so shocked that she's sick? I know what's so crazy about that. Now they're like, send as your medical records fit to be president. My goodness, she's a human being, exactly a sixty eight year old how old did you know? She's not a spring chicken? And and the schedule is insane. I would be sick too.
Somebody was like Hillary could thought that's just hilarious. Somebody said Hillary could die, come back alive as a zombie, eat my children, and I would still vote for her over Trump. I'm like, well, okay then, girl.
Yeah, and Trump, of course was or sorry, he who must not be named Lord Voldemort, Yes, jumped on it right away. This weekend, though, she called she's getting a lot of flak for calling Voldemort's supporters, uh, deplorables. What's the quote? She was at a giving a speech and she said, you know, I like to categorize about half of Voldemort's supporters as in the category called deplorables, like racists and bigots. And it's not like like I don't know where the lie is.
I was gonna say the problem, right, I'm like, what's the problem with that?
But there's always a problem, Like there's just all this, you know, people are saying, you know that was that was wrong with her? She's disrespecting people for their political opinions. Blah blah blah. But Voldemort himself has said that he loves uneducated people after Pole showed that most of his followers are uneducated, Like, I love uneducated people. How was that not offensive?
Yeah? Whatever, They're just gonna always look for a reason to be mad.
Home stretch, though, I'm kind of like excited, like I'm really really excited for the first debate. I just Hillary's got to get on tiptop shape. Girl. You gotta get it together, do your yoga, great, drink your green juice, because you must destroy him.
Yeah, you must. So let's talk about speaking of politics. Uh, did you see the roasting of Anne Culture?
I did. I've heard all about it, but I haven't actually watched it.
Oh my gosh.
I mean it wasn't even a roast for her.
She yes, she was at a roast for roblow, which is weird enough exactly, So anyway, they had this roast. So Comedy Central will do these roasts for people, and that's when like the joke it's like no holds bar jokes where they just go in and so the jokes are pre written and from from what I understand, they had these jokes pre written for everyone. I don't even know why an culture agreed to be there, but she agreed, and the she told the writers I guess she basically
said there was a number of jokes. She was like, I won't I don't want to do that. I don't want to do this when she was being difficult. So what they did, and it's kind of like payback is in conjunction with having all the other comedians that spoke do a roast of rob Blow. All of them also roasted her like that was like their payback, like, oh, you don't you don't like our jokes? Well, how about these?
It was so painful to watch, I mean so painful, like if you just and she's a cheese, honestly, I mean, what's the worst? Literally the worst of the worst. And even then, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. I giggled, but I was like, Yake's like you could see in her face she did not even know how to like, like how do I take this? It was because it was a surprise. She didn't you know, she's there to everyone's there to roast Robb Blow, not roast her.
And they get dirty of them.
Yeah, it was, but I guess, and you know, it's so crazy. Everyone's like, you know what. Normally I'd be like, hey, that's messed up, but it's her.
Yeah. I mean she does destroy people all the time in her own idiotic commentary.
So I guess, Karmel, Yeah, it was whoolchild. If you're in like it's it's hard to watch, but it's also a bussy TV.
Like watching a train wreck. Can't look away?
I that's exactly how I thought. I was like, must look away, but can't.
I want to. I really want to talk about this. The study by that LinkedIn did okay that everyone's sort of talking about. It's a study they looked at nearly half a million of their members to find out what it takes to become a CEO, what it takes to get to this. It's the CEO or VP level at a company. Did you look at Do you see the study?
No? I didn't.
It's so interesting it actually shows so basically, they looked at nearly half a million dollar, half a million dollars, half a million of their members and looked at their career trajectories. You know how on LinkedIn you mark your career or whatever, and they looked at they've found some common characteristics among the people who made it to that VP CEO level, and they found that experience, it's not just like how long you're working in a specific industry.
They found that experience in one additional area within that industry prove the person's odds of becoming a senior executive as much as three years of extra experience would have. And I thought that was really fascinating because it's the whole study sort of shows that, like it's not it's important to stick with your like industry in order to get up to that CEO level, but what's even more important is making sure that you work in other areas
within that industry. So if for example, I mean, I'm a journalist, so I should spend time doing social media and advertising and PR and looking into all those different aspects data visualization and gaining all those other that expertise kind of goes toward making you a more well rounded person and helps you get to that CEO level.
Okay, I see what you mean. Like it's like it's it's it's not just this straight path that you should have kind of like experience in connecting, connecting subjects like, Okay, you want to go you know, you want to be a I don't know. You know, you're my wants to really work in fashion. But before that she was working in finance, and I told her, you know, that's going to give you a leg up. And it's true because now that she's working as a buyer, most buyers only
have experience with the fashion aspect. So she stands out here she is with her MBA in finance and marketing.
You know, I was just about to talk. They also mentioned the NBA MBA and MBAs definitely go a long way toward determining or predicting whether or not you're going to become a CEO. A lot of CEOs have MBAs, but actually the study found that it's really the most effective if you go to like the top five, a top five school for your MBA. Apparently that's what works for more And he was kind of like, yes, that's probably the most highly indicative marker saying that you'll become
a CEO. And since everyone's not able to go to a top five school for their MBA, he said, the more reasonable conclusion from this study is to work in as many areas within an industry as possible. And I'll read this one excerpt. It says, to get a job as a top executive, it helps greatly to have experience in as many of a business's functional areas as possible.
A person who burrows down for years and say the finance department stands less of a chance of reaching a top executive job than a corporate finance specialist who also spent time in marketing or engineering or both of those. So, okay, outside your comfort zone, people, if you want to get to the top, it makes a lot of sense because if you look at it, you know, and now that I've become a manager, I get this a lot more.
I'm not a CEO, obviously, but I have to have an understanding of how to make different departments, different people, and different roles work together to achieve a common goal.
You know, you put out this huge study last week and I had to work with data researchers and with graphics artists, and with the writer of the report, and with the CEO of the company and with the PR team, and you sort of and I think having experience in those areas really helps at that project or get that, you know, get that team solid and working all together.
Now, I totally think so, because it's just no way just from running my own company, I have to know a little bit of everything. You know, I might not do every single thing. Like before we got on the before we started, you know, taping. Today, I was on the phone with my COO and we were working through
like a tech issue. We want to start sending text messages to remind people who have signed up for the liver Rich Academy, Hey tonight, there's class tonight, because that's one of the number one That was some feedback that we'd gotten that like, oh I love the classes, but I'm always missing them. So we thought, well, well, what can we do. Oh, people might not check their email, but they checked their phone all the time. If we could set a text message three hours before, don't forget
classes tonight. And so you would think that would be a simple thing, but you need like a PhD in behind the scenes onomy just to like So me and her were working it and we thought we got it. We're like we got it, and then we tested it and it didn't work. And I was like, well, girl, I gotta go tape around. And but like that's just how if you're running a company or you have like high level responsibility, I mean from that to interviewing folks, to always marketing to you know, coming up with new
strategies for the brand. I mean, I mean, I've grown so much as a person just from running a company, because it's just you're never just doing one thing. I don't even spend majority I won't even say half of my time is spent and teaching financial education less than half, which is like the core the core competency of my business is teaching being a financial educator. But most of my time is spent you know, running a business. So yeah,
I could totally see that. But even better than working for a CEO is being a CEO.
Yo. Yeah, So yeah, it was an interesting said if you want to go check it out, go to LinkedIn dot com, just google LinkedIn CEO study. It's super interesting tips though, And that concludes buzzworthy. That was a good puzzworthy. It was all right on our first anniversary, will you be boosting or will you be breaking?
Well, I think that I am going to I'm gonna I'm gonna boost I'm gonna boost communication. I think that. I mean, I was just like like I woman, I am so no, just because me and Superman had just like a very strong conversation last night. You know that's what you call when you say you did you guys argue, Oh, that's.
Like before that's like like an adult argument.
But I mean it was because I was the only one with the conversation. He was just looking like, oh, where is this coming to?
Yea girl? I recognize that feeling. I know that feeling. Well, right, go.
Ahead, and then and then after you're done, you're looking like was I just crazy girlfriend right now? Or was I legitimately I'm upset so I get to express myself girlfriend. Either way, it's done. And so we just had like, you know, like a strong conversation because I was just like, so, what's because to me, communication is key. I'm always wanted to be like, well, let's make sure we're on the same page. We're on the same page, right, Let's make sure.
And so he said something that made me think are we not on the same page? And I just, you know, I don't know why I had a backflip about it, Maybe because I was not feeling so well from the cold, but I basically was like, look, this is the year whether you like it or not, this is the year now. And I said, so, it's either the year that is that we take it to the next level or it is the year that we say goodbye. You you decide, sir, And he was just like, I didn't say that. I'm like,
let me finish. And so so we had a strongly word of conversation and then I felt bad later because he was like, babe, you know I love you. I mean like, this is you know, this is what I want. We talked about this. I was like, oh, because you said something that made it seem like He's like, well, of course, I'm just expressing that. You know, it's still it's still a scary move, you know.
And what are we talking about her babies or that marriage.
I feel like men always are like, yeah, I'll pop out a baby. We're talking about marriage.
They're not popping out anything.
No, But I'm just saying that, like, you know, men are like, yes, I feel like a man is more apt to want to have a kid sometimes and want to get married.
And so I would like to see that study. I don't know, Actually, that's an interesting question. I wonder what is more terrifying.
I feel like man, I feel like honestly that it's more terrifying to them, like because marriage is like, oh my god, I'm never gonna be able to run around because he was like, it's just scary because you know, I won't be free. I'm like, you're not free now, brother, we lived together. Where are you going? He was like, that's true.
Having a child does not make it. I mean I feel like having a child is like the ultimate tie down, Like there's no like you, it's a life, it's a human life.
That's terrifying, you know, well to me because I don't have but he has, you know, a child, and you know he's you know, so to him, it's not it's like, oh yeah, you know, let him tell it. He'd like four. I'm like, how son, I'm thirty seven, almost thirty seven. That's not gonna happen. If you're lucky, maybe two, but likely one. So yeah, we had like a strongly worded conversation.
Well I did it, but and I thought to myself, you know, communication is really key because I mean you just to me, whether it's your boo, whether it's your you know, friend at work, whoever, that like really expressing yourself even if sometimes it's strong. You know that, I don't know. I just wanted to give a boost to that, because how do you know, people can't read your mind. You have to say what you think, and you can't
wait forever. That's one thing I've learned because I used to be someone who would say nothing and then completely blow up, and so I've learned, like you know, I'm better. I'm not totally great at it and expressing myself in the moment when I'm feeling it and saying, well, this is how I'm feeling now. So it's not something that I've waited three years to say. So that's my boost communication. So we'll see, because you know, my birthday's coming up, Mandy, so you are no, well, I was just.
Gonna I was just gonna add to that. It's never just the one conversation like I think we thought at least a half doesn't like come to Jesus' adulting conversations like where you have to re establish Okay, this is what I want now, are you okay? Good? Okay, great? And then you like I feel like you can't just have the one conversation and think that that's it and
that they're continuing to like read your mind. I think you have to like revisit it every once in a while just to like catch up and make sure you guys are on the same page because things can change.
No for real. And that's why I was like, so, is that what's happening? Are we changing your mind? I was like, oh, just cause be clear. You know women were so terrible. Just be clear. I mean, I could you know You're like, kemny, what are you talking about? You?
Oh, I know just how crazy you got. You're not even telling the half of it. I can just imagine because I've been there.
Yes, And then I'm like, yes, I mean I didn't go as dark as I could. I was telling my best friend. I was like, you know, one good thing is I went upstairs and I had more darkness to spew, and like there was a little light that said, don't you do it. Don't you do it. You've already done it up there. You just go to sleep. Because I was going to go back downstairs and be like and another thing.
But it don't. That's called Marry maturity. Mary Maturity visited you the angel.
Yes she did, because this morning, like you know, it was like, honestly, he woke up and he was like, baby, I don't want you to feel any kind of way. I love you, this is what I want. And it was only because I had not gone to the dark side that we were able to like this morning. Honestly, there was no bad blood this morning. It was just like, no, I don't know why you feel that way. No, I can express me being like a little scared without you thinking now I'm trying to run away? Where am I going?
And I'm like, that's true. So, like I said, you live and you learn, and you live to communicate another day, hopefully.
And doubts don't mean they're not like doubts aren't terrible, Like everyone has doubts, Everyone second guesses. I think I always I never believe that. I never believe that that line, like I just knew for the moment I met them, and I never question. I just never ever ever question, like what do you not have a brain or like a career to think about it. I think everyone has questions about relationships and you have to like think about that and those questions and the answers change over time.
I don't know, I think doubt's okay.
Yeah, No, I honestly because I mean, I of course have had and not just because not because he's not a great guy. But you know, you just think yourself when you start to really think like this would be it? It it like, am I certain to say the rest of my life like forever ever? You know, when you start thinking of it, you know, then you start thinking like, well, what about what if maybe you know, well, for me,
it's not even about someone else. It's more so about me, Like, well, like what if I want to travel the world and like live in Istanbul for a year and not get married and just like be the cool aunt that you know, it's like it's always living in a different country. What if I want to be that girl? Because I used to want to be that girl, and so that's that's usually like what I struggle with is like you know.
The answer, oh tell me, because I had that thought sometimes too.
But then I think to myself, come, yeah, oh you know what. You know. The thing is I have to say that I'm fortunate in that for about a year and a half two year span, I got to be that girl. And the truth of the matter is I would come home and be like this sucks, and every night I'd be like this sucks, like it would be so great, like I've been to honestly over twenty maybe twenty five, nearing thirty different countries in two years before
Superman and I got together. And as much as it was great to travel and do whatever I wanted and you know, take walks at three o'clock in the morning, I always came back to loneliness and emptiness. There's a great song, Oh my Gosh by nd I read that everyone should listen to who's kind of feeling like that. It's called No, It's called the Life I Know. And it is so beautiful and it would likely make you
cry if you're in that space. But she talks about how you know that she has had an extraordinary life and yet she comes in so many ways she's full, but at her core she feels empty and that's the life that she knows. And it is just it's moving and you should just listen to it. It's like wow, You're like, she's like, you know, I don't I don't have a husband, I don't have kids, but that's what
I wanted. But this is the life that I know, And this is someone who's highly accomplished and beautiful, and you know talented and yeah, so I mean I've had a chance to have that a little bit, and I don't want to go back to that. This is much much much better.
On that note, I don't know. I like to just remind myself. I just go back. I think Facebook memories is a great yeah, like reminder of like the shit you used to deal with when you were in your early twenties. I'm like, oh, yeah, I was at that club. Let me tell you anymore? Did I tell you that?
Oh? Go ahead, no, no, go ahead?
We went This is how old I am now went to a We went to a concert. I love LeAnn
Lahavas I have for a long time. We've seen her twice in concert this year in New York City, and she was playing again last week, and so I snapped up tickets, of course, and I always spend the extra money to get the seats that like, you know, a lot of the venues she plays at our standing room only, but they'll be like a VIP section, And so I sprung for like the more more affordable like seated area so we can sit because my feet get really sore if I stand too long. I'm like an eighty five
year old woman on the inside. So we get there. Finally, we've been waiting in line. I've been walking around the city. We had a lot. We walked from dinner to the venue because I'm like, oh, we're gonna have seats, it's fine. And we get there and there's no seats in the VIP section. I'm like, what is happening? And then we stood and like the opening act came on and you got to wait an hour, and then she didn't come on for like forty five minutes, and we I lasted
through six songs and then we had to leave. I was in so much pain. Really, yes, I don't know what's happened. I'm like on my legs and my feet just can't do it. I was on my feet for like three hours, and I was I was done.
Especially Grandma, I think that I'm clearly headed for adult diapers. I mean I I on the hour. Every I'm like, who are you, Tiffany? What is happening? I drink a cup of water and my bladder was like, well, you know the drill. I don't like, why is this happening? Is this age? Why? I mean Superman is always like I see where we're headed with this.
But the difference is you catch it and you go to the bathroom. When you're really old, you don't make it.
That's true, but I'm just like, what is happening? It's like shrunken.
Well, that was an extended brown break? Wait?
Was that?
That was a boost? I forgot the whole start of that conversation. I'm gonna make my communication communication, I'm gonna take I wanted to take a brown break this week. I wanted to take a brown break from over booking oneself, which I'm sure you can relate to. But I just had a week where I just like, and I'm and I'm going through another one right now where every night there's something, and every workday is so packed and there's and I've gotten really like, I've never been busier than
I have been at this new job. And it's kind of a good and bad thing where my days go
super quick. But also I'm looking I look at my calendar all the time and it's like a it's like a Tetris game where I'm like, oh, I can sneak one little appointment in there, and I can do that phone call, then oh, I have definitely have half an hour, so I'll do like a ten minute thing there and I'm like, oh, it all fits so nicely and everything's so organized, and then I actually have to do the things and I'm so I mean, I just I really crashed.
I really crashed on Sunday if I've finally had a like Sunday was a free day and I was just in this weird, like depressive state. It was just it was bizarre. My fiance is like, what is wrong with you? I was like, I don't know. Just turn the light off on a sleep till four pm, and it was I don't know. I just I don't ever want to I don't want to get I've seen I've seen stress do.
Stress and anxiety do things to people, like actually manifest itself into like physical ailments where they have become disabled. They like it can cause things like fibromyalgia, which is like this neurological psychological disease which the only link people can find is like from stress related stuff. And I have people in my family who have been diagnosed with that. So I just wanted to, Uh, this is like sort of like a note to myself, like you need to
get this under control. I don't want to go down the same path that I've seen other people do, and there's nothing like glamorous about it.
You know, it's not you don't have it slept or see no sleep right, Like, like how was that? Because you know, I feel like that used to be like a badge of honor. Oh, I haven't slept, I haven't eaten. I'm working so hard, I'm gonna die. You're like, well, how was that enjoyable?
I felt like death? It was the worst. I was cranky, I was tired, paint like my back was just sore from being hunched over a computer. Yeah, it was. It was a weird release at the end. They had this huge project I was pushing out. It got pushed out on Friday, and then I was so tensed up, like so used to waking up early and going a bit late and thinking about this project was my I was having dreams like stress dreams, like crazy about this project and it was finally done. It was almost like what
is my life revolve around? Now? I forget like what real life is and I don't know. I just I don't like it. There's nothing like and I wasn't getting any like gold stars or like it's and I don't think it's gonna you know, it's not like my my boss was there saying good job, almost killing yourself, Like, yeah, it's not it's not a cute. Look, I just felt like death. So don't let people lie to you.
Yeah, get rest rest rest is cute.
So this week we have a question. I it's you know, it's not really a question, it's more like a cry for help. And I feel like she might need some words of encouragement. Okay, let me get this up so I can read it. We did a whole sort of interview and podcast about single moms and just like the power of single moms, and this question slash cry for help comes from a single mom named Kim, and I changed her name because I don't think she wants us to use her real name. She says, I really need
your help with budgeting, finances and money in general. I am so overwhelmed and I'm hoping that you can help me. I'm a member of Tiffany's group, the Dreamcatchers, and I also, yeah, I also subscribe to Dreamcatchers. Although all of the stories in the post and the group are very inspiring, I feel so financially overwhelmed and have so much debt. I feel like I'm going nowhere fast and my head is
going to explode. I make good money, ninety two thousand dollars a year, but I feel like I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I've borrowed from my four oh one k I have no savings. I feel like I'm drowning. I wake up and have anxiety thinking about it every morning before I get out of bed. Any assistance or help you can offer will be greatly appreciated. She says, I'm a fifty year old single mom with two daughters, one still in school.
Wow, oh, miss Kim, Yes, I would say, Miss Kim. The good news is it's you. The bad news is it's you. So this is what that means. That means that you have the power, at any moment in time to really like change the direction of where you feel that you're going. Everyone kind of has that come to Jesus moment when you're like, what is happening? I'm in quicksand when first things first, when people tell me because I've been there, where I'm like, what is happening? Where's
where's my money going? I'm feeling overwhelmed. I can't sleep, I'm feeling anxious, and really it's like if you're in the ditch, the first thing you have to do is put down the shovel and stop digging and assess where you are. And what that means for you really is to write down a budget. Not the budget that you're gonna use to live by, but the budget that you're currently living by, which really just means listing everything that you're currently spending money on a month and how much
your life is costing you a month. If you're not sure, if you're a debit card swiper like most folks, or credit card swiper, pull out your monthly statements and begin writing down, you know, do you have a mortgage, are you paying you know, utilities, but not just those things, but going out, eating, out, grooming, entertainment, groceries. Writing down all of those things and how much they're costing you a month, to just get a picture of what your
life is costing your month. So that said, this initial budget is not the this is the budget I'm living by, it's the checkup budget, like, well, this is where I currently am, this is how much I'm actually spending a month, Because you have to kind of get a handle on where am I currently? And then from that you could start making decisions like, Okay, I see that. You know, maybe you pay for your daughter to get her hair done twice a week, or you know, once every twice
a month, and it's forty dollars. That's eighty dollars a month. Is there something you can do about that expense? If groceries are costing you a lot, it's there something you can do about that expense. The reason why I want you to write it down or to put it like in an Excel spreadsheet, is so you can literally start going line item by a line item and making individual choices in the beginning when you are when you're spending
more than you make. Sometimes I had to tell myself, and this was the hardest lesson when I kind of had to pull myself in, was some people were not gonna get paid because I did not have it. It wasn't until like it's not forever, but it was so scary to say, my mortgage is not going to get paid.
I had to make that decision. Like then, I'm not saying that you shouldn't pay your mortgage, but I'm saying at some point, sometimes you look and you're like Wow, I'm spending you know, six thousand dollars a month, but I'm making five what's not going to get paid to so I can get back on track. And that's okay to say, because you can get back on track. And then so I had to prioritize, and so I prioritize that, you know, I'm gonna move back home. I'm gonna let
go of the house. That was my choice, and because it was either pay the mortgage and nothing else, or pay everything else and not the mortgage. And so that's the choice that I made. But I can only make that choice from starting from that initial budget that's just that initial picture of what is my money currently doing, and then going line item by line item and making a different choice. It's not gonna be I think sometimes people think like it's it's supposed to feel good. It's not.
It's definitely not gonna be easy. But I think you know that. But and it's going to I call it the tears and tissues step, when you kind of list everything you spend money on and subtract it from your take home pay, because when you see kind of where you are, it can be hurtful to you. But that's okay too, because you won't always be that way, but you need that initial This is where I currently am, and so that way I can start making conscious choices, one line item by one line item.
I want to ask a question. I'll kind of play Devil's advocate here because we get a lot of questions like this at Magnify Money, and one of the things that we do is anyone can go to Magnify Money and go to Live and Learn the section at the top of the site and sign up for a free twenty minute debt help session. And we get a lot of and not we get a lot of calls from people, and we also get a lot of emails from people
who are in this kind of situation. I don't really know what Kim's exact debt breakdown is, but I imagine there's a car payment, probably has a lot of credit card debt, maybe student loans of her own. My question is, at what point do you just say, Okay, it's time to file bankruptcy, like my parents file bankruptcy. I feel like there's this huge stigma around bankruptcy and that it's not that you know, there's this huge shame around it, and
you're like you're proving that you're a failure. But I feel like in some cases, and I'm not saying I don't really know enough about Kim. I definitely don't know enough about Kim to say it's best for her. But at some point, isn't it just like just you know, it can be a tool that you can use to your advantage to get off from under this kind of crushing debt.
The problem I find with filing bankruptcy is that if you have not done the work beforehand, meaning that if you have not created the budget, if you have not reached out to your creditors, if you have not done that, you're going to find yourself back in that situation. Because bankruptcy might wipe the slight clean, but if you still have the same habits, you're just going to fill that take back up again.
Oh yeah, I totally agree. And you know what, do you know what I learned about bankruptcy? Like credit card companies, they have direct marketing lists of people who recently filed bankruptcy because these people have proven they already have poor credit habits and there are great customers for them because they make so much money off of them. So asgree as you fell bankruptcy, they start marketing towards you.
They do.
Yeah, I mean, I totally agree with the with the idea of like changing those behaviors and getting in a different money mindset. But I don't know, and I don't think. I'm not trying to glorify bankruptcy, but I do wish we could talk about it more in a semi positive way as like, I mean, corporations and big businesses do it all the time. Yeah, I mean, there are it is there to sort of be a last resort for
you know, households like this me. My mom was a single mom with four kids when she filed bankruptcy for the first time she went through a divorce. She was earning a decent income, but she just lost an income and she was now suddenly a single mom with four children and two house payments because you know, she had the previous house to pay for, and we were also living in a new rental that she had to pay for. And for her, it just made the most sense. It
wasn't as much because she was financially irresponsible. It was just like all the circumstances, the financial circumstances were stacked against her and so I just wanted to put that.
In now and to me that you write for that, it makes sense. But I think a lot of people think that bankruptcy is going to it will fix the you know that you currently own, but it won't fix you. And that's to me. That to me, that's what I'm more worried about. I want to make sure let's get you in the mindset and let's get you to develop the habit so that way you won't be back here and because if not, then you will. I mean, I've seen people not necessarily for bankruptcy, but I've seen people who,
you know, maybe their parent has helped. I had one woman she had maxed at all her credit cards when she was in college. Her parents helped her out. She did it again post college. Her parents mortgaged their house, helped her out. She did it again, and they were like, honestly, we don't have any more money left. And she it took years to dig herself out. She was like, that was the best thing I could have happened, because she's like,
I have not been back since. But because they had, they had stepped in and intervened in her learning how to fix it herself. She never learned before, And to me, that's what I want for Kim is I want you to learn learn how to fix yourself, you know, I want you to learn so that way if something should happen again. I mean the two thousand and nine, honestly to two thousand and twelve early twenty thirteen was the hardest for me because I'd lost everything financially and I thought, wow,
there's no way how do I recoup from this? And because step by step making every mistake possible, losing my house, credit card debt, credit card scam, just everything that you can think of. I mean everything you think you could think of, Like I had worse credit score. But learning and growing from that put me in a position now where I feel ready to take on the world. Like if anything happens financially, I feel like I can take
it on. I've I've I've put things in place to not fall into the same trap that I did before. Same thing camp. I took all the money out of my retirement account, every single penny and lost so much of it because obviously I'm not sixty five, and you know, but.
Yeah, a lot of people take out four one Klon's It's way more common than we think.
All right, it wasn't even alone. It was just a well you ain't getting.
This bet ye, It was just tipped over that biggie bang exactly and so yeah.
So for Kim, I would just say, if you've, if you've, if you're part of the DreamCatcher group. The best way to use the group is to ask a specific question because someone there has to answer I'm sure, And two have you signed up for the Liverature Challenge. One of the reasons why I created it is because it walks you through step by step creating that budget, changing your mindset, creating a budget, a debt plan, creating a credit plan like.
I created it because so many women came to me with this very question and I thought, well, how can I help everyone without personally getting on the phone, And so I created it. So it's it's literally step by step and email will come to your inbox every day for thirty six days that tells you exactly what to
do at nausea. I mean, I have scripts in there to say, call your utility company, say this, you know, and if they say no, say this that they say yes, say this, because I know how hard it can how hard it can be and you need some handholding, so I would suggest that too if you haven't already like it's uh. For those of you who are listening, you're like, well, I need the challenge. It's completely free. It's www dot l RC dot com, l RC fun. I'm sorry l r C like Live Richer Challenge fun fun dot com.
And it's my gift because I promised myself that when I dug myself out of the deepest hole that I had ever been in, that I was gonna come back for women in particular and to help women dig themselves out, but for them not to be alone like I felt like I was. But yeah, kim, start with that basic budget and see line item by light at them what changes that you can make. And that's what I would suggest to start with.
Hello, brother, I was leaving space, so I can edit that and cut it out right there. Okay, all right, you ready for some wins? Yes, our fifty third episode, our fifty third win. What's your win going to be?
My win is really us? I mean sorry, that is that your win?
No?
I mean it's a year. Like you know, when you came to me with the idea of a podcast, I was like, oh, yeah, you know me, I'm just like okay, But I had not I mean, I didn't have any expectations. I have to say I just thought, well, let's just see what this does and to see how many people we've affected and how many people listen. It's just been an amazing and amazing ride, and just to see how far we've grown. I remember when we took the pictures with Taneta and I'm like, oh, we were so cute.
Look at our sneakers in our dresses and like the logo. I look back at some of the old logos that we were looking at, I'm like, what were we thinking? And so I just have to say that it's just been an amazing ride, and I'm glad that you are my partner in crime. And yeah, just even thinking of names for Brown Ambition, it just seems so perfect.
I did go through that old list. Maybe in the next week's episode we'll go through some of the names that could have been.
I'm not right, the leak, the grind, oh god, no, I know. So yeah. So to me, that's our win. My win is us and Brown Ambition in one year, and the listeners who have supported us, some of you since day one. So just thank you.
Oh well, jeez, Louise, give me, make me feel all the feels, let me cry. No, thank you I've had. This is like the best part of my week. Every week is I know it's gonna it's my time to talk to Tiffany and talk about money and finances and the VMAs and Beyonce and like whatever else comes into our mind. And I think it's such a great It's an outlet for me. It feels like I get a lot out of it, the same way listeners get a lot out of it. So I'm just very happy we're making it happen.
Yeah, me too.
I mean my win was going to be America, okay, because I was feeling very patriotic this weekend. Not only was nine to eleven and I just wanted to like go out and just hug a little old lady or something like that, but also we went and saw Sully, the movie about the guy who added the plane in the Hudson. I know this also puts me in the category of like a senior citizen because like the average age of the viewers for that movie was like fifty five. Really,
but I will say because Clint Eastwood direct it. It's a Tom Hanks movie. I mean, come on, it's like old people like this kind of stuff. But it was so good, like I don't know, I feel like the audience clapped after a word, like yeah, we know how
the story ends. Everyone survives. It's amazing. But I don't know, just seeing the scenes where you see New Yorkers coming together and pulling the people out of the freezing Hudson when they've been you know, crash landed into the river, and seeing the people on boats and the NYPD scuba people come and save people. I don't know. It just just reminded you how nice people can be and how great it is when we all come together and work together. And I thought it was. I saw it on nine
to eleven, so I thought it was. I don't know. It made me feel very just like very americash and patriotic, and just made you want to just give everyone a huge hug and just be nicer than usual.
Oh, America, America, this is you ten for the show?
Which show is that America's playing some videos?
Yeah?
I almost didn't get it. Almost saga that was my jam. God, we used to be so easily entertained.
Oh, yes, indeed we were.
It's a man with a funny voice and videos you can watch on YouTube exactly.
He was the original YouTube We.
Were basic.
Man.
All right, Well, on our first anniversary. Love you much, miss Tiffany. Thank you so much for making Drown Ambitions.
I love you much too, Mandy, and I can't wait to see. I don't know if we'll be able to make it to to your wedding since it's like.
You know, not Friday. What are you talking about.
Oh, yeah, we'll see.
I'll see you on Friday. I'll see our Lucky five Brand Ambition listeners on Friday for a delicious anniversary meal. Some candle light, some cynria. You don't know what's gonna happen, all right, y'all.
We will talk to you next week.