And were I feel like we have not been back in a while.
Well, we took a little bit of a hiatus last week.
Yeah we did.
But if you were listening, you got to hear our delightful Patrice Washington interview yet again, which is like one of our most popular episodes.
Sos dope dot com. Or we forgot we're supposed to be like, you know, professional, this is Brown Ambition again.
I will say, if you're clicking on the podcast from the iTunes and you see the title in our faces, you already have all the information you need. Some jump right in there.
Somebody might be listening by Yeah, by accident belong to Well you stumbled on to Brown Ambition, darn it. And I'm Tiffany And that's Mandy.
That's me, Mandy Lee.
Is that your meddle name for really.
To the wood, to the ruf, to the Yeah, Mandy Lee, that's how you know I'm from Georgia.
Oh that is so cute, mand Lye.
Actually, if you want if I'm in trouble, it's a mandal Lee. Oh that sounds that's when I really messed up.
That does sound like your mom needs business When.
I messed with a thermostat. Yeah, so you were just in Florida at Color Coom.
Yes, it was Dope dot Com. It was so I'd never been before. They have it every year, it was. This was its third year they have it at the Ritz Carlton. I met a broad Ambition listener and if you're listening, I totally misplaced your name in my memory. But I just wanted to say thank you so much. You made my day by saying, wait, I know that voice. Broad Ambition was Mandy, What.
A nice way to say you forgot something. I seem to have misplaced that memory. I don't know where it went right now.
I forgot.
I'm gonna use that one. I'm really bad with names too.
Yeah. No, but it was really dope because it was how old?
How loud were you speaking? When when she recognized her name from across the room.
I was standing next to her, like I like her back was kind of to me and I was talking to someone, and she turned around as she looked at me, she said, I know that voice. So yeah, it was great. Honestly it was. It's just a brown AMBITIONI color calm is women women in communications, women of color in communication. So it wasn't just Black women. There were Asian women, there were Spanish women. It was a nice cross section. I would say it was majority black women, but definitely
a cross section. You could say they made a real effort to be inclusive of women of color. Yeah.
I think Lisa Ling, who I love, She did the keynote last year.
Yeah, she did. They always get really dope people that This year they had Arianna Huffington, and she really she resonated with so many of us because you know, so many of us are still being super women in our lives, and she really talked about how that's dangerous.
She's all about the sleep. That's why her entire book. Yeah, if you want, if you want to read her book Thrive, it's a good book. But I can sum it up in one word, two words sleep more. Yeah, sleep more.
She said that they're like, you know that, really, in order for us to be productive, you really are supposed to have seven to eight hours to sleep a night.
How often do you think you get seven to eight hours of sleep at night?
How often? Let me see, I usually wake up involuntarily at like six or seven ish. Do I go to sleep by midnight? I would say, yeah, honestly more unless I'm like on the road or whatever, like you know, speaking, I would say more often than not, I'm pretty good at getting to bed by I want to say latest midnight and then like just kind of waking up, I like six or seven in the morning, So I would say I'm in that range. I might not, you know, hit eight, but I think six or seven is pretty
pretty normal for me. What about you.
I try to give myself like two nights a week where I get like five hours to sleep, because it happens inevitably, especially like as I've had these early wake up calls for the CrossFit class. But for the most of the for the most of the week, I would say I'm getting at least six hours, and on the weekend sometimes more, sometimes less. But yeah, I was out my So shout out to my friend Frank who he did the New York City Triathlon yesterday. Okay, this is
the same one. I did this one two years ago, but I did not do it in one hundred degree heat in the middle of the day like he did. It was rough, but it was fun. I got I went out there. I was out from like seven am because the race starts super early. And I kind of like. I biked up to the Bronx, which isn't super far
from where we live right now. I biked over there so I could see him during the bike part of the race, and then I biked back home, dropped off the bike, and then went to Central Park and caught him during the run and then I was running around and by the end of it, like I felt like I had run a trathlon. It was not hot.
Yeah, I just this heat has been oppressive, Like I'll stay my toe out there, and I'm like, yeah, actually, I'll just go back inside.
Well you see a puddle with a weird brown girl face on it floating in Bryent Park, that's mine. It melts it off and floated away. Today when I went to the dentist. Oh, I went to the dentist today.
Oh gosh, you were an adult today. I hate adulting sometimes.
Listen, my tooth didn't hurt, but now it does. Like it wasn't hurting before I went to the dentist. But then they go in there with the little tools and they pick poke and they prod and that stuff up, and now my tooth hurts.
I always hear people say that they're like, you know what, before I went to the dentist, I was fine. Now I'm not. I feel like the dentists like put something in here so I can come back.
Well, here's my I'm really kind of proud of myself because you know they always say get a second opinion when you go the doctor. And this actually this was my second dentist visit in two months, because I went last month and the dentist he didn't even look inside my mouth, but I was like, oh, my tooth has been hurting. So he took an xtray, put it up on the screen and he was like, oh, yeah, this tooth,
it needs to come out. It's totally decaying. And I was like okay, and then he's like, yeah, well we can take it out and then we can put a bone implant in and that'll be five thousand dollars. And oh, by the way, we can't do anesthesia. You have to be awake for the procedure. I mean, they can do local, but they can't put me under. And I was like, and he's like, well, let's schedule it right now. And I was like h to haaa haha, yeah, Like, let me let me first see when my insurance will cover,
and so I had to go. I went back and forth was hit with their receptionist too. She had to call the insurance company and get a quote, and that took like days. I think it took a full week before I heard back from her or she heard back from my insurer. And when I got the estimate, it was like total price five thousand, you will owe three thousand dollars and I was like, okay, before I spend three grand on this tooth, let me get a second opinion.
And so today was my second opinion, and I went to a actually found the surgeon on yelp, so shout out to yelp. But I went and he first thing he did was poken. He looked at my mouth. He did a bunch of tests like kind of like, you know, bite on this chew won that does that hurt? Blah blah blah, And then he poked it and that definitely hurt.
And then he did an X ray and he was like, you know, looking at your X ray, I'm not super impressed by it, and the fact that I don't think this tooth has to come out, and he like laid it out. Not to get too technical technical but he's like, you know this doctor or this other dentist. I'm not going to say he was wrong, but he might have been too hasty. So let's take three steps back and send you back to a regular dentist and have them decide, like, see how bad the damage is, and if it's bad,
then come back to me. Because he was like a surgeon, he's the person who takes the tooth out. Regular dentist is the one. See, I'm kind of working backwards because of this other dentist. Like you're supposed to first go to the dentist to like get the diagnosis, and then they refer you to a surgeon.
Yeah.
So, but I felt relieved because he was like, I'm not going to say you're not going to lose a tooth, but I'm not. But I also feel like this you don't want to make any like hasty decisions right now. So I saved myself three thousand dollars hopefully.
Yeah. No, Honestly, sometimes I remember when I was in high school and like early college, like I was going to the dentists and every time I went, I had to get like ten fillings and I'm like, I'm not even eating that much candy, and it wasn't until I got older. So I went to a dentist and he was like, what in the heck? He was like, where
were you going before I was like what. He was like, some of these teeth have just like unnecessary feelings, basically like the dentists basically panning his pockets by giving me random yeah, And I was like, wow.
Well you don't think about it because if your insurance covers it, you're like, oh, I'm not getting in charge for it, then okay, do the thing exactly.
And so that's what made me like wow, And it just made me really like you said, you know, really remember that I really should get a second opinion, just because you know, the dentists, because I should have known. I'm like five work havities. I just had five less time, you know.
Yeah. Well, there was a story in the New York Times just today today being Monday, that was about how dentists and I kind of brought this up to my dentists, which is kind of awkward, but it was about how dentists do too many X rays sometimes and you don't get charged, like you get your free annual X ray every year right from the dentists and your insurance covers it, and so whenever you go, the dentists will be like, oh, well, you get a free one, so go ahead and do it.
But there are risks to getting the X ray, like it's unnecessary, unnecessary, radioactive whatever the term is, going into your body even though you have the protective stew or whatever. And basically the article talked about how you really as an adult with if you have good, healthy teeth, you only need one one every eighteen months instead of one
every year. But dentists kind of do it because they can convince you to do it because it's free, and then they'll get the money from the insurer for doing it, like they're still going to get paid.
Wow, that's terrible.
Yeah, but if you're special like me and your tooth is all ft up, then you need special x rays many times. Also, I'm going to refund for my other dentists because I feel like I was told. I was told a lie that my teeth were perfect in the last two years, and I have been going and I have been taking care of my teeth, but it was it was like a kind of a like a freak thing from a feeling I had had like ten years ago that wasn't that like came back to I don't know,
it started to decay or something like that. I don't know, but anyway, I guess the moral is to definitely go to more than one dentist if you feel like you're if they're missing stuff.
Yeah, and also to if you know your body better than anyone, don't let anyone tell you how you feel. If something does not feel right or just doesn't seem right and it's not in alignment with what they're saying, then keep pushing. I hear that so many times when people will find out, you know what you were right, you do have this thing that's really wrong. Everybody was telling you, Oh it's nothing, you.
Know, Oh yeah, I mean, well, it's hard, I think, especially in today's like medical culture, where everyone is like if you go to the regular doctor, like a primary care position, it's like tons of people, the waiting room is packed, they're only seeing you for like fifteen When when my doctor sees me, I love her, but she speaks like Gilmore girls fast like and I'm like, okay, okay, you know she's but guess because she has like so many other patients and I feel like they want the
easy answer, and it's hard to find doctors who will like take the time to really listen to you. And that's when it's good to I guess see a specialist like this, Like this dentist sing a real specialist. He took his time. He was like putting me at ease, and I could tell he was like actually thinking really hard about the decision to yank a piece of someone's body out of their mouth. For as the other dentist was like, ah, we can do this, did all the time,
let's do it right now. Three thousand dollars place exactly.
I mean, I remember when I had to get a like a tooth, so who knows what I was supposed to get it, But I got like a tooth replaced, and they sent me to the specialist. He just like literally over my he looked. It was like yeah, And I didn't And at the time, my dentist, he was terrible. He didn't tell me. I didn't know. I was young, so I didn't know that you had to pay seventy five dollars for a guy to look in your mouth
and say, yeah, this needs to come out. So when I got the bill, I'm like, what is this for? Because my dad just didn't say, we're going to refer you to a specialist. You know, this is an additional cost. He just said, I'm going to have my guy come in to take a look. And I just said okay, because you know what, I'm like twenty one, We're like okay, yeah, And so that was such like an eye opener. It's just you just got to be on your piece. I was gonna say q's and p's peace and qus.
It's really you got to read your insurance policy to really know what you're covering. And yeah, the specialists costs more than a primary care physician. And if you get referred, like I always ask before it because most doctors don't want to talk about the billing, and it's okay because they're not They don't have the answers anyway. All the doctors do is do the thing that they're doing, and
they tell the billing department what they did. The billing department decides what codes to use and what to tell your insure and they're the ones who hold the answers to what things cost. And I don't think you should be shy at all about asking your the billy asking to be transferred to the billing department and then saying,
I need to come in for XYZ. Can you tell me, like give me an estimate of what my insurance would cover or what it would cost out of pocket, And they may like ho hum, and like, oh, we can't really tell until in more complicated complicated procedures, Like yeah, they can't tell. Like if you're getting some sort of like surgical operation and things become complicated, then yeah, it
can cost a lot more. But if you're going in for like a routine filling or an an MRI or an X ray or something like that, they can pretty much tell you what the sticker price is going to be.
Yeah, and that's our extended talk about that's actually but.
Come on, like medical expenses, like are you this is my first time, you know, love my new job. But I'm looking at my insurance policy and we have a deductible, like a thousand dollars deductible.
Okay.
That means that I have to come out of pocket at least one thousand dollars before my insurance kicks in. So immediately I asked to raise my hands and I was like, wait a second, do we have an FSA account and an FSA Flex Savings account. It's base. You can contribute money before your texts are taken out of your paycheck. Okay, so you're saving, like I don't know whatever percentage your tax rate is fifteen twenty twenty five percent on those dollars. So I and we didn't have
one and shout out to my boss. He was like, no, we don't, but I'll add one now.
Oh that's awesome.
Yeah, I think and you don't think to. I mean, I work at a small company, so it's that, you know, I don't think it's that easy all the time. But I think companies the best way to have change, you know, at your company they don't offer stuff like fessays, is just to like raise your hand and ask. You know, maybe they overlooked it or didn't consider the additional costs of having these deductibles. But it can't hurt to ask.
It can never hurt to ask. What is somebody? I was on the phone with my friend CHK last night and he was like, if you don't ask, you don't get. And it took me a while that was like, wait a ah, Yeah, you don't ask, you don't get but that's just good.
Ask ask, ask, It's been you know, I've had to for a lot of stuff because when you work at a smaller company, like there's stuff that you know, maybe they don't think about that you personally, you know, have thought about it or have asked for I can. The FSA is like one of the most recent examples, but like I don't know, plastic forks in the cabinet, coffee for the coffee machine, stuff like that, like those little things, and I've had to have some, like I think a lot.
I've had to ask a lot of questions that I think people might feel awkward about generally, but if you don't do it, no one will, and then nothing ever gets.
Better exactly someone else. Listen, now, how was did I ever? Did I share California? Deet?
No, that's right, you were on vacation last week.
Yeah, it was great. I mean, I would say the biggest highlight was definitely Universal Studios, which was awesome. Have you ever been to Universal Studios?
Not since I was a little bit, and I would have never.
I'm not gonna lie, so.
I want to go as a grown up though, Oh.
You should, Like I'm going to tell you Superman was like whatever, I'm not gonna even like love these rides. He was the biggest kid, like, oh my god, I love the Minions.
Oh my god, the Minions. I go hard for the Minions for Halloween.
Oh you were Oh yeah, the Minions are awesome. But the ride was incredible, like who knew the menu ride? I mean me, two minutes sixty six he got out, like, let's do it again. I know, but it was so much fun. I had to say, like, it was my second time going to Universe, so but the first time I wasted it, like cause I am not a I'm not a roller coaster person. And the first time I was in Florida speaking at an event and it was right next to Universal Studios. So the conference gave us
like free passes or something. So I went, but I didn't like go on any rides because I assumed that they were roller coasters and I'm afraid of roller coasters. So this time I went and I just was like, well, I'm with the fan, we'll just all do the roller coasters together. Then I realized they're not roller coasters. They're virtual rides where you basically sit in one place, but you feel like you're moving, and I was like, oh, I had no idea. So it just so. Most of
the dyes are virtual. Some of them move a little bit, like the Harry Potter ride definitely moves some It was awesome. The Mummy ride it was awesome, but most of it you kind of just sit in the chair and the chair will move a little and shake a little or go up and down a little. But the virtual part has you feeling like you're like falling down into a wormhole or flying sky. Yeah. It honestly, I can't even describe like it was awesome.
Any tips on how much did it all cost? If you don't money, Okay.
No, I don't mind. It was a grip, it was. It was one hundred dollars. We're like, well, Supergirl was ninety nine dollars because she's a kid, so I'm like, oh, that's that's what kids cost. Oh okay, and then for the adult it was like one fifteen. And I think I found like a five dollar coupon for each of us off, but I was doing so much research to try to get They.
Started that surge pricing like uber so during one demand for tickets at Universal studios is high. You raise prices.
Yeah, I wonder what it like. I don't know if it was because honestly it wasn't. It wasn't packed. I have to say, like, no, we didn't wait more than twenty minutes for any ride with Superman. Was like, oh my gosh, these lines, I'm like, what get your life? You clearly don't go to music parks. This is nothing.
You don't go to Chipotle at noon in New York City. It's a line.
Yeah, Like honestly most of them we walk right up to, like the line would basically was like just the line to get on the ride. It wasn't like the line waiting for everyone else. Yeah, it was in the Harry Potter I guess like Little Worlds definitely better in Florida, but it was dope in California too.
Oh really, I haven't been yet.
Yeah, I have to say overall I like the one in California better, but there were sections of the Florida one that I like better. Like their Harry Potter World is more convincing, like literally with the way they do it, it's like you to enter the Harry World, you slipped through like a like a war.
Do tell me, don't tell me.
Sorry, Oh my god, what are you doing? Sorry? Yeah, anyway, it's just dope.
Sorry, I fade. I'm waiting. I'm waiting with baited breath for my copy of the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child book that's coming out.
Who's another one next week?
Well? Then you know how they're doing the play in London. Okay, they are releasing the play like the script basically as a book. Okay, so it's almost like an eighth Harry Potter book. It basically is an eighth Harry Potter book. And I told you were My brother and I are going to London to see this play.
Right, yeah, you told me that's awesome.
So that we booked our airbnb, which ended up costing us. It was about nine hundred dollars, but it would have cost us like fifteen hundred minimum to do a hotel. So I'm looking forward to staying in this cool apartment. Oh yeah, if you guys have any cheap travel tips in London. Also, it's only a four day trip, so let me know where I should go and what I should see. I'm excited. That's in September.
London is not my favorite I know, people are like I love London. I don't know. I've been twice and I was just kind of like, it's expensive, you know what it is about London, There's nothing wrong with it. But when I when I the two times I've been, I was like, oh, cleaner New York. Hey, how you doing? You know, so like the big city. Yeah, it's just no, It's like, it's a nice city. But it just felt like a New York without like, you know, as much trash.
And so I like when I go places to feel like I'm not in Kansas anymore, you know, and like London gave me like a feeling of familiar familiarity. I'm sure I'm saying it incorrectly because my tongue has given me twisties, but yeah, so London just made it felt like almost like home. So I was like, well, why am I spending all this money to feel like home?
That's that's when I moved to Chile after college, I moved to Santiago, Chile, And before I left, my mom was like do they live in huts down there?
Like?
Where are you going to be staying? My mother is just God bless her thinks that anything so anything not in America is like the Third World, and I'm like, uh no, it's Santiago. When I got off the flight, the first thing I saw was block was not Blockbuster. It was Dunkin Donuts, Duncan Donuts and KFC. And part of me was like, oh, because I'm like ready to go on this grand adventure in South America, and I'm like, oh, I can get a Domino's pizza if i'd get hungry.
That's good. It's great. And like everyone there loves the American brand, so there's McDonald's and like, you know, all that stuff. It's hard. America has such a huge influence on the rest of the world. It's hard to go anywhere and not feel like see those little businesses and stuff like that.
Abroad, You're right, you go someplace, you're like, oh.
Well, we're gonna make this Harry Potter London trip, so Westminster Abbey. I might come look at you, uncle Ben, maybe you'll get a passing glance, but it's only a half four days. I need to be more like, I need to be more strategic with our sight seeing.
I always get on one of those big winterf I travel. I always do one of those double decker buses like by that pass.
Oh yeah, you were talking about that before. I wonder what the costs in London? Have you done it there before?
M h, I did? What was it? I remember, it's just being comparable to what it costs here. But you know how it's like good to pass. It's good for three days. And when we would use it as like a fake taxi, like okay, first day, we just ride it all through, second day we would just get off
where we wanted to get off. And then third day usually we'd gifted to somebody, Oh you can do that, well, yeah, cause you know it's like so they give you like this random long receipt thing and it's basically good for three days. So I don't know if the same company owns the red double deck buses in every country or most countries, but there is usually the same thing. It's just hop on, hop off, and it's good for three days.
But after day one or two, I'm usually good, and so like the last day that I'm using it, I usually give it to someone like, hey, you want it, It's still good for tomorrow because it's not like your name is on it, you know.
And then does the hobo say they'd rather have a sandwich.
No, I don't give it to like the hobo, like give it to like tourists.
Have you ever had that happen to you. I gave a sorry to call them a hobo, but I gave a homeless person. I was walking in to Dwayne Reid and I was like, oh, you know they have sandwiches in here. Can I grab you something for lunch? And he was like, man, I'm trying to get a sub boy sandwich. I was like, well, then go stand outside a subway, like what New York City so homeless?
Right? Well? I remember one time a woman was like like, well it was a homeless woman. She was outside and she was like, oh, so cold, I need socks. And I actually was headed to a place where I was donating socks and I was like, oh my gosh, you're in luck here new pack of new socks. She was like, oh, I actually want to pick up my own socks. So if you got money, I was like, girl off bye.
Yeah.
I know. She wasn't expecting me to have socks in my pocket.
Serious, I didn't mean that literally, darling.
Right, socks it's figurative for a money.
Shall we shall we boost and break?
Yes? I think I'm going to boost and boost. I thought you said you're going to boost, right, I'm going to Yeah, Yeah, I'm gonna boost too.
It's gonna be a positive boosting episode.
Yeah. You know what boosting means though in the hood, right, like stealing something, Yeah, and then selling it.
I got some street credit, right, I don't sound like it. That's my mama from the Midwest, her influence. But uh, I've seen much. I've seen much in my young life.
So you want to go first with the boost in.
Yeah. So this is something I've started doing the past couple of years. And you call me crazy, but I like to buy presents months in advance, like months before the actual occasion. I'm talking weddings, birthdays, Christmas. And I do this for a couple of reasons. One because I don't like Christmas time coming around, or you know the September when everybody all the New Year's babies have birthdays come around, and like all of a sudden, you have fifteen parties to go to and fifteen gifts to give,
and like it's really overwhelming budget wise. So I buy stuff months in advance. And it's not just to save money, so that I'm not spending a ton of money, like all at one time at a certain time, excuse me, in a certain time of year. But it's like I have this if there's a halo effect, I think when you buy gifts for other people where it just puts me in a really good mood. And that sounds really corny,
I know, but it happened with the Hamilton tickets. So I bought those for my fiance back in September and up until like February when I finally cracked and told him what he was getting for his birthday. Like it was so exciting to have that secret and to keep imagining all the different ways I was gonna tell him, none of which actually happened because I just spilled it to him, you know, like on the couch at home. But I don't know, it makes me feel so good
to know that this surprise is coming. And I just like knowing stuff other people don't know, Like you have no idea what's coming. You're gonna love this. And I was thinking about this because I bought my mom's hope, if she's listening, I bought my mom's Christmas gift yesterday, and let me just tell you, she is gonna flip out. Oh my god, I'm like, and it's so like I'm just imagining her face and her reaction just right now,
and it's me so much of the feels. She's gonna love it, and it's gonna be an experience for both of us to share anyway. So if you want to give yourself the happy feels, or at least start preparing, like think about what you're gonna get, so and so for Christmas in July, I highly recommend it. That is all. That's my boost.
I like that. I I mean, I can see that like giving gifts the I'm the world, Like I enjoy giving gifts as far as the reaction, but I'm so bad at like pre planning. Like Superman's birthday is on August third, and I'm like, wait, I should probably get his gifts, so.
Because if you don't, then it's the last minute and then you're running around and you're all stressed, and then you're like, oh god, I got.
Something, but like you want to get the right thing, and I know what I want to get him too. I know, like he we were he checked into the hospital, like I don't know, he like had some headaches and remember he had the aneurysm. So whenever he has like a bad headache, he's like going to the hospital, you know, just to be on the safe side. But it was ended up being nothing. But he had to go through the that huge magnet thing. What is that thing called?
You know, it's like a circle, but it's a magnet anyway, So he had to take off his watch and he left his favorite watch there and by the time he remembered and he got went back and tried to call, of course nobody saw it, which I thought was terrible.
Oh no, the hospital. At the hospital, they have a metal detector at the hospital.
No, he went through that MRI. That's what it was.
Oh oh the metal.
I was like, the circular magnetic thing. I know. You were like, I don't know what she's done? What mr. So he had to take off his watch and yeah, so he was like really like, you know, doubt about it. And in my mind I was seeking meanwhile, that watch that was living with Jesus because that watch was given to him by his ex girlfriend. But you know, I'm not going to tell you to give because I have stuff.
So you know, I was like, well, I mean I feel bad, but it so I was like, well, I'm going to replace it give a nice watch, you know, And so that's what I want to give him for his birthday. But I have not done the search.
I don't know what it is with men in their damn watches. No, they are so expensive. I guess it's like us and shoes. You know. I can use gender stereotypes for a minute, but I yeah, and fiance has like, legitimately seriously put we have a we share pinterress boards, you know, so we can when there's like a you know, a holiday coming up. I like to look at his pintress board. What's what is he like today or what's he looking at whatever. It's a good way. I think
it's a smart way to like share ideas. Anyway, he like seriously puts five thousand dollars watches on his pintress board, and I'm like, can we try more attainable goals like a puppy.
Right, or or a unicorn? You're not getting a dag on I'm not watching seriously now. Yeah, so I'm gonna get him a nice walk. Oh okay, yeah, it sounded like something fell hard downstairs. I didn't anybody scream, so oh God, everybody's alive. So here is my boost. My
boost is a little bit of fun. So you know, we all know the last few weeks have been hard for brown a bishing community, just with all the violence and all the the police just stuff that's happening, and just you know, our community is just it's a sad time, I'll say that, and a hard time. And so there's this woman. I don't know what her real name is, but she has kind of popped up from the from Instagram and she's hilarious. She's actually a young woman, but
she's like an Instagram comedian. She's just a comedian. And her video she portrays this older woman named Shirlene s h I R L e E N sure.
Yeah, sorry, I'm very sorry.
And she is, when I say hilarious, huh lay, if anybody has ever gone to church like Southern Baptist, just just and knows any old black woman from church, that is Shirlene. She is sassy, she is funny, and you can't it's hard to imagine this is actually a young woman because she has the clothes, the look, the mannerisms, the wig, just everything like an old black woman from church. And she her videos it's all clean. She doesn't curse in them. She's clearly Christian because her all of her
comedy kind of like surrounds like church and stuff. But when I say hilarious, So if you kind of need a break from all of the doom and gloom, then head to her Instagram. Accrown, it's the christ Eye Show, the.
Christ the Christie Show.
I think so too, And I'm like, it's spelled the Christy Show.
Sure, it's the Christie Show. I'm like, it's spelled Christie with an eye. That's what's happening.
Anyway, go ahead and get you some Charlene or just hashtag Chirleine. So if you need a little giggle, I'm telling you will get your life. She is everything the Christie Show on Instagram and hashtag Charlene and you're gonna get your life. You just will.
And after that you should look at the Care for You Black Kids hashtag on Twitter.
Oh yeah, I did that that day, he said it, and it was everything as well.
Any little silver linings in the tragic world we live in.
Oh, let me tell you a little silver lining. So on my way back from Florida, I saw this, like big beefy guy. He looked like what, I don't know, like a bodybuilder almost, and I was sitting in.
Like, say's a silver lining contend you now?
But then with him seemed like you ever look at people You're like, oh, that's a different match, because he was this big, beefy white guy and he was with a skinny, little like black little boy looked maybe about seven eight years old, and I was wondering, I'm like, oh,
what's their story? So we ended up chatting and he said, oh, I'm a lawyer, which that took me by surprise because he legitimately looked like a professional wrestler, like he was exploding out of his clothes, like as far as his muscles. And so he said, I'm a lawyer and I'm taking He's like, I was on my way to Newark to visit my family, and I just finished the paperwork for this young kid right here. He's he just found a
foster family. And they asked me, you know, since you're going to New York anyway, can you take him and his foster family would meet you at the airport. And I was like, oh wow, that real. Yeah, And it was just like and like, honestly, this little boy was just like so happy, go lucky, just you know, little kids, bopping around and playing with stuff and touching everything he's not supposed to touch, but being like a kid, you know.
And so the guy was really great with him, and he was just like, you know, so when you get to New York, if you see balloons and a sign, it's for him. And I was like okay, and I didn't think anything of it. Like we were on the flight, we sat in different places, and then when I got off,
I saw this family. It was a woman, she was right, her husband was black, and they had their daughter with them and they were sitting on the steps kind of like you know, like do the do, waiting and they had balloons and a sign that said like, you know, welcome home. I forget the little boy's name, and I walked up to them because he was still I guess waiting for his like luggage and stuff, and I said are you waiting for? Like as soon as I said
are you waiting for? The woman lit up and she was like, yes, that he's on his way and he is so adorable, and she put her hand to her heart and made that like only mom make face, you know, you know, the face, like, oh that face, and it was just so honestly, I just wanted to roll around and like the love they had for this little boy that they hadn't even met yet.
How old was the boy?
He looked to be about seven or eight years old.
And they were foster family.
Or yeah, well faster I think. I don't know if they were. I don't know that. That's what I thought was so great because it was his foster family, and but it looked like, honestly by the way they came out for him that you know, I would not be surprised if they didn't adopt him, like you know, with time. You know, that's nice.
You know, my big sister, she just her and her wife just signed up for the just like got onboarded into the foster system in Wisconsin where they live, and it's like it's a long process. It takes like a year, but they want to adopt really bad. So I'm gonna I'm gonna share because I wonder I know what foster is different than adoption and the process takes a long time, but I'm gonna have to have to pick her brain
about like what it's actually like to foster a kid. Yeah, there's so many kids out there.
Right, and you know, like honestly, like I mean, it's just it doesn't take anything but a Google search to find out that black boys are the least likely to be taken in let alone black boys who are not babies.
Yes, I made her promise to adopt a black boy, and.
I just to see them be so excited about it, and just to know that, like you know who I mean, I don't know his life and what he's been through he but just to know that like at the very least at the onset with this connection with this family, that they were excited for him to come, and you know, had already like pulled out some of the stops and just were just excited to meet him. I just wanted to like stay and like be a voyeur, but I was like, Tivity, gome, Yeah, do we have questions?
We do have some questions and good questions this week. I don't know if we're gonna get to all three of them, but we're gonna start and see how how much time it takes. Okay, the first this question is from jah Tim. Thank you for spelling your name phonetically for me. Shatim is twenty five years old, she said she's entering. She says, I'm entering my fourth year of earning a salary. I was a teacher and now I'm
starting a position with an education nonprofit. But my savings and retirement are not where I'd like them to be due to some moments in life. Quote unko, This is a quote where Ish got real. It's actually really sad. So sorry, yeah, it's it's sad, but those were her words. She says. My first year working for my employer, my employee match five percent, and my retirement was after about after interest and investing eighteen hundred dollars, it was over
forty four hundred dollars. But my son passed away at four weeks old due to SIDS, and I could not return to the home and city where I was living so far away from my family after such a traumatic event. So fast forward two year and then my third year of working, I moved into a town a townhouse and use money from my emergency fund for my deposit. Then I got into a car accident which wiped out my savings from all the rental car fees, medical copays and
other things. Now July twenty sixteen, I only have about two hundred dollars in savings more or less, and I still have that forty eight hundred dollars in my retirement savings. My new job does match three percent, and the plan is interests yielding, but I'm still not sure about my next steps. Her question is should I still contribute to my retirement since I don't have any savings, or should I meet a savings school and then contribute to my retirement Jimjimjitim.
I know it's not Charlene, but you know what I mean. I say, it's that possible to do both.
I think it can be possible to do both. I would say so off the bat, her job is matching three percent, I would contribute at least three percent. To sit down and do the math, like how much is three percent? And can you afford to set aside three percent of your retirement and additionally save for your emergency fund if you can make it both work, Like say you put three percent into your retirement fund and then
five percent into a savings account. If you can make that work, that's the ideal situation, because you don't want to leave that money on the table. You don't they're literally giving you money.
Yeah, so that three percent you should really strive to set aside that three percent. And I don't think I think a lot of people think that. Do you find that many that people are like oh one or like it's like when it takes all and they're like, oh, I have debt and I want to say which one should I do? And you're like, well, girl, I mean both.
Well that's the thing. I think it's the way you think about debt versus savings. She doesn't have any debt, doesn't sound like. But I would say for this, like, you're getting three percent back on your money, so you
don't want to leave that money on the table. But that money is going into retirement account that really is difficult to touch, and if you do touch it, you're gonna get hit with taxes, penalty, you know, ten You can see ten percent losses or more probably more by dipping into your emergency fund or dipping into your four one K and using that as an emergency fund.
YEP.
So I would say, if it is that dire and you really cannot afford to do both, and I would suggest focusing on your savings because that's the money you're gonna need to get one like you said, I mean, weren't you so grateful you had that money when you came to a car accident, Like that's why you don't have credit card debt, which is amazing. I would say, focus on building that back up and before you focus on retirement. If you do the math and realize you can't make both work.
Yeah, I mean I think, like let's just say, like for the sake of argument, that you're like, okay, I
have four percent of my income. I mean, then I would do two and two percent because I just feel really strongly that retirement should not be neglected just because eventually, you know, if you're fortunate enough, you get to an age where you are not able to work, and it's really like your younger self's job to look after your older self, because at some point you're going to be in a position where you cannot put the work in to support yourself just physically you're not able, so you know,
and so, and also because putting aside for retirement really is a habit, even if it's like, let's just say you can't fully match and you're like, okay, I'm just gonna do one percent, So I wouldn't I wouldn't sacrifice retirement fully, even if you can't do a whole lot, just getting into the habit of putting at least something away and slowly inching toward where you want to be, but work on both.
I think another thing people struggle with is figuring out how much to save, and that's when you start the rules like three months savings, three months of your income and expenses saved in an emergency fund, or six months
or a year. She did give us a clue, so it's hard to tell what her magic number should be for savings because we don't know exactly what her expenses are every month, but she does say that she had to put down twelve hundred dollars for a deposit for her townhouse, which I feel like that's probably her monthly payment. So you want to have at least what three times
twelve hundred thirty six hundred. So if you just make thirty six hundred your savings goal and then find out how much you can contribute per month, you know over how many months to get there, that's probably a good place to start. But don't feel like you need to have tens of thousands of dollars in your account. Before you can save for retirement.
Yes, for sure, because that's just not true. All right, Jetim, I hope you've helped.
We're sending you love Tim. It means I love you in French.
I know. Well, okay, I'll say okito.
Meanwhile, okay, here's our next question. Who wants to be anonymous? Here's what she said. She says, I am a reformed mishandler of credit cards. I still have some debt, but I'm on fire with paying them off and I've fallen in love with budgeting and being as debt free as possible. Bless you child. My initial thought around credit is that I don't want them at all. I was a Dave Ramsey girl, and of course Dave Ramsey is all anti credit.
But lately I've been hearing about how easy it asked to have your how easy it is to have your debit card compromised by fraud, and the perks of credit card points and rewards. I'm slowly becoming a credit card user and paying it off week to week, but I'm terrified of having a relapse. So question, what are your thoughts on using a credit card for everything with the intention of just paying it off weekly? Versus going back
to a debit card lifestyle. Also, how do you structure your spending on credit to make sure you do not carry a balance? We didn't do this one before, No, we haven't.
Okay, no, just because that sounded so familiar. I am a Dave Ramsey girl, but that piece anyway, Hey, Dave Ramsey.
Girl ran spink a new So I get this a lot.
In the in the DreamCatcher group, Like, some people are like totally anti credit card and some people are like, no, leave me alone. I love my credit card. I'm somewhere in the middle. I totally can understand why Dave Ramsey takes to stand against credit cards because so many people are their financial lives are honestly destroyed by the way they use credit cards. But I think that the attention is on the wrong thing. Credit cards are not bad or good. It's like a hammer. A hammer is just
a tool. The person picks it up. They can build a house with that hammer, or they can knock down a house with that hammer. It's the person who's using the hammer that decides. Same thing with credit cards, they're merely a tool. So if you are not sure if you're able to manage them, well, then leave them alone. But if you think that you can, then you know, then you then you can use them. I think we
live in America and credit is one. It's a core financial system that we use here in America to navigate our personal finances, and it's very difficult to get away from not using credit cards. It's not impossible. But for example, here's how I use my credit card. I have to credit cards, one of which I use specifically just to
raise my credit score. It stays home my Netflix charge is it eight bucks a month or nine bucks whatever Netflix is, and my bank account pays it off every month, So literally I don't even know where that credit card is. It just gets paid off in full every single month. And then the other credit card I use for business, I use it when I'm It's a travel card, so whenever I'm booking a flight or hotel or anything, I use that card because I want to earn points towards
free flights. And most months I pay it off in full, but some months I wait a little bit because I might also use that card to buy books. So if someone says, hey, Tiffany, we want to order a thousand books for you from you, so I might swipe a thousand books on my credit card and when they pay me, I pay it off, but it might not be to the next month. But I would say usually I don't carry a balance for more than a month or two. But for the most part, I pay my credit cards
off in full every month. But so I but I know there's one of my ex boyfriend used to do this on his American Express card. He used to put all of his bills on it and then pay it off every single month. Now I always say that's for like, that's that's not for everybody. You have to really have the discipline to do so, or else you're just going to have a huge bill and not know what to do with it.
I would have had the money to people bill at the end of the.
Month exactly, So I would just if I was kind of like reformed and starting small. You know, if you can get yourself a credit card with a very low balance, put something really inexpensive on it and automate that payment like your Netflix or something, just to keep your robbing
credit kind of like open and rolling. You don't have to necessarily use it, just knowing that, like, Okay, it's there and I'm building credit history by using this card responsibly, even though I'm not technically using it right.
I mean, she does bring up the issue of fraud, which is true. It is a real risk. And while so say, let's say your debit card is hacked in mine has been before, you lose a bunch of money. Your bank will both likely pay you back, but it could take a couple of days. And when it's cash money and you need that cash, it can really it can really hurt. So in that regard, yeah, I think credit is sometimes the better option when you're shopping online
or you're traveling abroad. If you get hit by a fraud, it's better to have it on credit than using a debit card. I have an issue with the whole points and reward system. It's great, like it's awesome. I personally use one credit card for my grocery shopping because I get six percent cash back and I make like bookoo money over the year that pays off. It has an annual fee, but I make way more than that in cash back than the fee. But I am a reformed
mishandler of credit cards. Like me, Mandy Woodriff, I used to be really bad when I was in college, I would like max out their credit card and then it would you know, I'd pay off twenty bucks so I could buy lunch, you know what I mean. Like, and it would constantly just be almost at the limit all the time, and I was playing finance charges and late fees and stuff like that. What I've done for myself now that I've slowly started using credit again in the
past couple of years. The key that I don't think people do is set yours like your credit limit is not how much money, like that's not your real credit limit, like it's how much the bank says you can charge, which is great, but you should not. You should never be maxing at your credit cards. And even less than that, you should be sitting down and figuring out what is the amount it can comfortably pay off every month and then make sure that you're not charging more than that
amount on your credit card. And for me, it was a certain amount. And so I have my own personal credit card limit in my head all the time, and when I get close to it, I'm like, Okay, no more credit cards for the month, because I know I need to have cash to pay it off at the end of the month. I like what she said about paying it off weekly, because I don't think people realize they can do that. Just make payments on your credit
card as you go, yep. So if you get paid twice a month, you know, use half of one paycheck to pay half your bill, and then the next paycheck use have to pay the whole bill so that you're not getting this huge payment all at one time. That could be smart.
I do that, Oh you do like whenever, like sometimes like you know, like I just, for example, just got to check in the mail clients, and I was like, oh, I forgot about this, So I might use that to say, Okay, I just ordered books for somebody else. Let me put this toward the credit card real quick, just because, you know, or something. I've been one known to put like five twenty dollars just to start nibbling it down when I was really learning how to pay off my credit cards.
I've you know, mishandled credit cards as well at one point in my life. But I'm grown up, you know, I've grown out of that now.
I have Yeah, and you say you have a travel account, savings account for your travel. I have a savings account for my travel, and I have the money saved up, but I'll still charge it on credits. I get two points and then I just paid off immediately. Yep.
I do that all the time.
So if you use it as a tool, like I'm going to save up the cash to make these purchases or I'm going to make sure i have enough set aside from each paycheck to afford these purchases, and then I'm going to use this credit card and then I'm going to say, haha, credit card companies give me my points and then pay it off and then you don't pay any fees or interest. Then that is the ideal way to use it.
It is like I just got a notice from my travel card that I have enough points for my flight for a flight that was like Woho. So that's perfect so me and Superman. So what I try to do with my credit with my flights is that when I'm speaking somewhere and someone's paying for my flight and hotel, I will use the points to say, hey, Superman, come with me, because the hotel is already paid for. Oftentimes the food is paid for, so he just has to
pay for like, you know, his own food. If it's not like kind of like group eating but it's like it's like a little mini vacation that costs us next to nothing. You know.
Yeah, I just booked my first flight with points on my new card, which was great. But again, I don't want to like over what do you call it.
Over stimulate, overgive, overcare.
I don't want to give the wrong impression that credit cards are great because you can get points. No, like, you should not be shopping for points because your shop you're spending money to save money. Like that's stupid, it's dumb, So don't you use it that way. And I think it sounds like you know yourself pretty well and you will. You'll feel it when you start getting a relapse. I mean it'll be easy to feel because you'll look at your statement at the end of the month and you
don't have enough cash to pay it off. Yeah, if that happens, then I think it's time to pull back.
Yep, I agreed, and.
Do what Tip said and just charge some one little account to it every month and you'll be building your credit and using it.
It's gonna be wort for you, exactly, And just leave that card home like literally, you don't have to take it out, Like Okay, I still have this card, but I'm not technically like swiping.
If she's as bad as I was, and she has her numbers memorized.
You know what somebody did that I thought was really clever, who was like a shop ahoulic. She posted in the group she said, you know what, I called my credit card companies and told them I misplaced my cards. So that way she could start to like well misplace her card so she could do what I said. I said, you know, have your Netflix or some inexpensive bill charged
to your card. But she had her card numbers memorized, so that's how she kind of was able to kind of start from scratch, like getting rid of those memorized cards to get a new one.
Oh oh they get a new number. Oh if they would just send her a new card, the mets.
Yeah, I get it, I mean, and then she could leave it home and then you know, like automatically charge something inexpensive tool but not worrying like, oh, I have my card number memorized because this is a new card and new number.
Yeah. It really is like an addiction. It is alcoholics hide bottle of the gin. We know our credit card numbers by.
Heart, so I think we should slide on into some wins or book suggestions. What's say you?
I have a win. I just finished reading a good book. But I'll do a win this week.
Okay, okay?
Cool? So my win is my fa FA Faith director of dujor Eva du Verne. So remember I talked about how she was directing the new Queen Sugar series for the own network. Well, while she was doing that, she just happened to have time to be filming a surprise documentary about incarceration the United States, like just in her free time, you know, like on her lunch break. And not only that, but this is this documentary about incarceration in America. It's called The Thirteenth. Go online, google it.
It's opening. It's opening the New York Film Festival, which will make it the first documentary to ever open the film festival. And she'll be the first black woman director to ever open the film festival. No big deal. So shout out to Ava for I mean, you know, she didn't have to do that. She could have been catching her checks from Selma all this time, and from her Barbie Doll yep all this time, and her Oprah checks
like she was. Okay, but I think she went out every way to direct this film, and the fact that it was done by a woman and a black woman at that just awesome. So I can't wait to check that documentary out in September.
That's just awesome. You know. I when I was at Essence my videographers with me. He really wants to be a filmmaker, and I think we're backstage, like you know, at the concert, at the Essence Fest concert, and he was taping and he saw her and he was like, Tivity, Oh my god, I just saw Ava Duvinet. I said you should talk to her, and he did, he said, he came back, he was like, oh my god. She
was so nice. I told her that I'm a budding filmmaker and I love her work, and she told me, email me your stuff and I'll give you an honest critique. How nice is that? And how you know she didn't She could have just been like okay, taken the comment and taken the compliment and kept it moving. You know. I just was like, oh, And I could just tell that he was like is this for her life? And I remember getting on him. I'm like, make sure you email her, like when do you like people don't do that.
You know, people are busy, and so for her to say that to you, you know, I would not take that lightly. And I think he sent her his stuff, So yeah, I just wanted to kind of throw in there that she's also.
Because she gets it probably yup, you know, and she's obviously but not spoken about it. She gets how some people just aren't they don't have time for you. A lot of people and some people need more help than others getting their work noticed.
Yeah, exactly. So yeah, I was proud of him, and I just thought she's so nice. So my I'm not going to do a win. Instead, I'm going to do a book suggestion. So this is actually a stolen book suggestin from one of my favorite people on social media, Lovey. I'm awesomely Lovey. If you're not reading her blog, you're not reading.
So crazy, right.
So we're Facebook friends, so you know, I feel special And even though she's had five thousand Facebook.
Friends, have I not asked her yet when you're going to have her on the podcast because you keep talking about your best friends and I'm like, prove it. Well, I didn't say we're your Facebook friend.
Uh no, we're cool, but like no, you're right, I'm going to ask her. Maybe that's just want to need.
You to work that connection a little bit. She would come on, I mean, she might take our job from us because people might like her someone like she's hilarious.
She is hilarious. No, so she she posted. She was like, you know, everybody you know is always asking kind of like what I'm reading. And she was like, I'm not always reading something super serious. I'm reading kind of like a fun summer book. And I was like, let me check this book out. It had good ratings on Amazon and actually was really good. I read it. I took it with me. I think I was in we were
in California. Whenever I travel, I like to bring a book because on the flight I like to read on my Kindle.
Oh my god, what is the book called?
I'm sorry?
And I love the ending in the plot here and that the characters. I'm like, what is that called.
The book is called The Perfect Fine by Tia Williams. It is it's not like, you know, like I said, it's a fun summer read. It's not a you know, you're not gonna change your your life from this book. It's just something fun life. But it's well written and it's like it's a good, like fun, girly read. It's about a woman who used to be like in the fashion industry, like the top of her game. She and her fiance would ever break up. She kind of takes a break and comes back and try to rebuild her life,
falls in love with some young boy. But it's good and so I suggest if you're looking for a fun summer read for when you're sitting at a flight on a flight or you're just chilling on the beach, the Perfect Find by Tia Williams. I think it's a good book. And if you have any book suggestions, I'm always looking for. I don't just read fun summer reads. Actually, like one of my favorite authors is Oh my goodness, I'm Malcolm Gladwell. So I like serious books, I like fun books. I
like romance novels. I'm actually pretty widely read as far as like what I like. It all depends on my mood. So you know, if you've got him, I know, right because I want to be like, oh, that girl, she's one of those girls. Like no, I read everything I do. I know how to read well.
Speaking of Malcolm glad Well, let's do a podcast plug because after you download our podcast, of course, you should definitely check out Malcolm Gladwell's new podcast called The Revisionist Have you heard it yet?
No?
Or The Revisionist Theory. It's really it's really good, and it's only every week, so it's not a ton like. There's only three or four episodes so far, so it's easy to catch up. But the first he goes, he takes widely accepted ideas and turns him on their head. So the first episode he talks about how America is the richest country and yet it is so hard for a low income person of color, young man of color
to get into a great school. And he goes and talks to this one kid who's just oh, his whole life, like his mother was an addict, you know, He's come from a poor community city in Los Angeles and he needed like and he got to the ivy leagues or he got to a great private school, but he needed like serious intervention from very wealthy people to get him there. And he just sort of like talks about how unfair it is and it's it's awesome.
So I recommend, okay, no, and I love that's what I like about Knka Glad was that, first of all, he clearly has this like linear not even linear, but this scientific mind. But he applies the scientific mind and principles to like just every day ideas. So it makes something that like would normally be boring or whatever, he makes it so interesting. So yeah, I love it.
All Right, guys, I guess that's all we have for you this week.
That was a lot, though it was a lot.
I mean for the summertime. We came out all guns blazed him. Wait, that's a bad analogy. We came out all cylinders. But no, mister Lee. Well, if you guys have any questions or comments, email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot.
Com, tweet us at the VA Podcast, and we're on Facebook, Brown Ambission.
Yes man, all right, you guys take care,