Happy Mother's Day. I know it's like pose Mother's Day, but it doesn't feel like it. I had such a good Mother's Day weekend. I know, Brown Ambition, we're back. I just want to wish a happy Mother's Day to the mom. The Brown Ambition Mom's out there.
Yes, I was a My mom doesn't live anywhere near me, so I had to always send her gifts, and I totally screwed up this Mother's Day. I like sent the gift to She's moved twice in the last year, and I found out that I sent it to the old address. Oh. Some really sweet lady emailed the company that my mom's gift came from and told them. She was like, I have this person's gift. How do I get it to her? Oh that's Wisconsin for you. That's nice though, Yeah, super sweet. That wouldn't top a to New York.
I know they'd be like, oh, these these chocolates are yummy.
Exactly exactly.
I had a good Mother's Day. My sister, she has a seven month old and she had like a baby dedication at church. So I was like, who picked this day? She's like he did. Her husband. I guess he didn't realize it was Mother's Day. Yeah, when they decided on the date, so like my family when his family was there, so it actually was really nice. And then we went back to her house and like you know, ate, his family's Jamaican and his mom is like, oh my god,
the best cook in the world. Like my mom's an amazing cook, like for African food, but his mother is like the best cook for Jamaican food, and like together, what they're like a force to be reckoned with. And I have to say, I don't know, like how much you've hung out with like your your booze, your fiancee's family, but this is the first time that we hung out as like blended family that didn't didn't feel like a blended family.
Oh yeah, that's fun. Yeah.
I was like wow, cause you know, usually, I mean we've always gotten along, but you know, it's like, well, hey, how are you. I'm fine, every it's all formally. The first time that I was like, wow, this is just our family. We were laughing, joking, his mom and my mom were like it just it was so nice. Honestly, I was like, wow, look at us, one big, happy family.
That sounds so nice. I hope we have that one day you will. My mom actually just met my future mother in law for the very first time in April when we came when they came to like do my come for my first dress fitting or you know, shopping experience. So I had like, you know, fiance's mom and my mom and my sister, and I had my one I picked, like my one friend who can you know, talk to a tree and have a whole conversation like just somebody I knew could keep things from being too awkward, and
it went okay. But yeah, you know, it's obviously it's well not only is it just the awkwardness of meeting someone new, but it's like they also there's also a big language barrier because his mom doesn't speak any English and my mom speaks no Spanish. So I don't know if that was like to our it like helped us or everyone was a negative thing.
Do you speak anything?
I speak a lot of Spanish. Yeah, it's pretty I'm pretty good. Oh really, but my mom, she was towards the end of the experience, you know, and my fiance's mom is really sweet, but she's like a you know, a Latina mom. She just like speaks her mind and there's some things that you say in Spanish that sound horrible when you translated. But one of the dresses I put on, she was like, oh, Mandy, you look fat
in that. She's just and well in Spanish like you, I don't know, you say gorda, gorda, you like that kind of stuff. You know, it just you know, it sounds much worst in English and my mom My mom didn't know the word, but she kind of got contextually what she was saying, and she was like, what did she say to you? I was like, no, it's fine, it's fine, it's just funny, haha, fine, Oh my gosh.
That is always the worst. It's like, oh, it's because you know, it's really award especially wedding time. It was like, I'm not gonna lie with my sister's wedding. They were played some contentious like because there's certain things that we wanted to do culturally or she wanted to do, and you know, he didn't necessarily feel comfortable with, which I can understand because it's like, well, I'm not Nigerian, you know,
and so there's definitely some awkwardness there. But I have to say now the parents have have now that they've had a baby. The parents are on one side, like the like the older parents are on one side, and then them her and her husband on the other because you know, the parents are like, why are you not feeding the baby? This? Do this for the baby, because you know they've all had kids. And now like my sister and her husband are like, leave us alone. They're like,
you're starving him, which was now. I said, oh, I'll look at you guys bonding over fighting over with your fighting over your kids and your grandchild. Exactly. They're like, my grandbaby's hungry, you're starting him. I told her I had five kids. She's like, I've had two. They had none.
This is their first. They know nothing about children. Carol was just My sister was just like but I told her, I was like, you know what, I'm sure everyone has that when you have your first kid and like your mom or your dad or like other people with kids try to tell you stuff and you just feel like, no, that's not how I want to raise my baby. Even though you've never had a baby.
Before, I'm already dreading it. I mean I'm not dreading it in the sense that I'm really I feel really grateful to know what's that ever happens if we have a kid, then we can just like his mom is local and she will gladly take the baby forever if we wanted to, And that's all good. But yeah, I'm dreading like the over the over zealous grandparenting.
What especially grandparents not from the country, because like what they're like, give him cornmeal, porridge, give him Like my sister's like, no.
Talking about two months, just meush it up a little bit, like Nigeria Bostona is. Just put it in a bottle exactly.
Exactly because we eat so many similar feods, Like what's a little goat meat between friends? You're like really, so like that's the part that she's just like they don't understand that, like you have to be careful with babies and allergies that I didn't understand why. I'm like, well, why can't he have that? She was like, because if you mix in the beginning, you give babies, I guess like peas or carrots or rice, because if you mix
things together, you never know what they're allergic to. So if they have an allergic reaction to porridge, you don't know is it the brown sugar? Is it the oatmeal is it the So it's just best to like introduce one one fruit or vegetable or whatever. At the time, I was like, oh that makes sense.
It's just so much. I don't know.
I know me either well, and I mean, why baby to him, which I'm kind of sad because it's come to an end. Her her husband's done with this part of medical school, so he's off now. He's like, oh, I've got the baby now Tuesdays and Thursday mornings. I was like, no, because you could still come by and visit. I'm like, I know, but it's not the same with just me and him. So today they were like, well, you know, have your own card. No, but they were
teasing me like tip because I was like resting. They're like, are your feet swolen? Are you feeling tired? I'm like, I'm not leave me alone. But it made me one this mother's They actually made me. Usually I'm not one of those I want to have a kid girls, but I don't know, I'm not going.
To lie overrestarted tingling a little bit. Uh lit.
I couldn't believe it.
I was like, your hips spread out just a little, just a little.
I was like, I was telling my own my boyfriend, I was like, you know what I think. Like, I was always like fifty to fifty, like if I have a kid, I don't have a kid. I'm like, you know, on the fan, But today I would have to say, I'm like sixty five seventy ish almost seventy is thirty about having a kid.
One of the earliest shows we did on Brown Ambition, you talked about like how you were finally starting to weave like having a kid into your future business plan and kind of setting up your business for that. So maybe then you were like, ten, it isn't. Yeah, So thirty five episodes later.
I know because you know what it is, And then I wasn't. I wasn't sure, but I knew that, you know what, let me at least start preparing myself business just in case I feel sure. I don't want to, like cause you know, it's not a big deal to like switch things up in your business slowly but surely and then make a decision like okay to physically have a baby.
You know.
So, but as far as now, it's like the emotional side is starting to catch up. That was just me, Like my mentally, I was like Okay, let me prepare for like what that might look like. But now I'm like, oh, I kind of whatever. A baby.
Well for you, It's like, on the one hand, great, you're your own boss. You can give yourself as much time off as you need. But on the other hand, it's like, you're, you know, one of the only employees. It's not like you have a ton of people to back you up. So that must take a lot of consideration and planning.
Oh for sure, I just I don't. Honestly, I don't know how. For sure, I don't know how moms do it. Just as a mom, like see my nephew, I'm like, oh my gosh, Like how do you do this twenty four hours today? And then on top of that moms who work, and then on top of that moms who work and then work for themselves. I'm like, hats off to all moms period. I don't care if you stay home, Like even me, three hours with him by myself. I'm like, uh, I think I'm ready for a nap. He's like not yet, No, no,
we're up. So I have to really salute all moms, whether you stay home, whether you work, whether you own your own business. It is like the hardest thing ever. And I'm just an auntie, so I can't even imagine the fact.
That I've been I was thinking, like from the beginning, you are so terrified to keep this baby alive. You have to keep this person alive. But then I'm thirty years old, so for thirty years my mom has been worried about keeping me alive. Yes, and like stuff that I do to endanger my life on purpose, like skydiving and traveling by myself. Like I almost want to say, sorry.
Yeah, go wait until you have a kid.
I know it'll be so much.
Oh god, what Like my like my best friend Drina has a baby and then my sister. So Drina was like, honestly, I just look at my mom and I'm just like, I'm so sorry. I was just like, you did all of this, and I talk back to you.
I'm so sure, bruh.
I know you don't realize because you're just like whatever, they have to keep you alive. They're like, they really don't. They tried, but they really don't.
There are some really nice I read a really nice article on elle dot com. I think like Elle is one of my favorite women's magazines. They still do like good content. I feel like and they you know Melissa Harris Perry who was at MSNBC now she's an editor. I think she's an editor at large there. I forget what her exact role is, but that was her next move. She did a really well, it's not a mom related post.
She wrote a good story for Malia. Everyone after Malia now she was going to Harvard either wrote about the gap year thing or about the racist who were saying that like Malia didn't deserve it because she was black or whatever. She went and found like some really high some women black women who had gone to Harvard and asked about, like what is it like to go to Harvard with your advice for Malia? So I encourage everyone
to go read that. But this other story about moms, it's by a writer named Maddie con and it's what it's like to be a working mom at the White House. And she actually interviews five women in the President's inner circle on what it's like to work there, what it was like to plan having a baby while you're like on the National Security Council, and and like the myth
of the balance. And I thought it was a really good I really feel like everyone should go read it what It's Like to be working mom at the White House on l dot com. And it's cool because I didn't realize that after Obama was elected, he changed the maternity policy at the White House. I'm not sure what it was before. But for the first time, women have twelve weeks of paid leave.
Wow. That's great.
Yeah. And like Valerie Jarrett, who's like his number one, you know, one of his closest advisors, was a part of that, and she's the boss of some of the women, including this article, and it's it's interesting. A lot some women didn't want to take the job. Like when you get the call by the President, you know, come beyond
my National Security Council. Some women said they didn't want to because, you know, they had just had a kid, or they were just about to you know, they were four months pregnant, and they were worried about work life balance. One of them even turned down the job, and then President called her back and he was like, we're going to make it work out. Don't worry.
Wow. Yeah, just gave me chill. That's amazing.
That's the kind of that's the kind of leading by example that we need because you know, I don't know, I probably say this a lot, but in America, it is not the law for you to have twelve paid twelve weeks paid leave. Yeah, you get twelve weeks unpaid leave, which a lot of moms can't afford.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, like my sister's back to work. I mean she didn't want to. Remember, she was really upset about having to go back to work. And if it wasn't for the fact that they made a strategic move. Her husband's mother actually has like a three family house, so they made a move to live in one of the three family like the brother lives in one of the houses, her husband live and her she lived in
the other. And the mother listened so literally like living with family and knowing that like Okay, I could drop the baby off at grandma's house and I have to go back to work and my sister can watch them when Grandma can't, And like that wasn't easy because she had to go back to work, you know, And I know she was really just like she would have loved
to stay home. You know. I remember the first day she called me like hell is I was like, he's fine, He's fine, because she's like, I want to be home, and you're right, everybody just does it. And what do you do if you don't have a sister who works for herself and a grandmother who's retired, you know, like you have to be like Drina, who actually had to put her baby in daycare, and she did not want to. She wanted to wait at least until he was like
one and a half two. But she's a working mom and her boyfriend works and she's just like, well, I have to, like, someone has to watch the baby. I can't be home.
You know, my coworkers baby was in daycare because she only what do we get Yahoo's policy? You know, Yeahoo's you know, say what you want about Yahoo, but we have an amazing parental leave policy. I think it's sixteen weeks for moms and eight weeks for dads, and the dads can take that eight weeks anytime during the year. So if the mom takes off, you know, well, I
don't know, never mind. If you're like, if you happen to be a married spouse at Yahoo, you could take up to twenty four weeks, But my coworker took her, you know, four months off her whole maternity leave and her so her baby's been in daycare since he was four months, which.
Is just like hard.
In last week, she got a text from the daycare saying that it just for some reason, there's like a there's a something wrong with the plumbing and they have to shut down for a week. Good luck, you're on your own basically.
And that happens, and you're like, what do I do?
Yeah? So, and you know, luckily we have our managers are fairly understanding. There's one anecdote in this story though that I wanted to mention because I just think it's just it's representative of you know, we feel like we're making progress when it comes to working moms and we're in the workplace, but there's still this perception of moms being like, oh, as soon as you get knocked up, you're going to quit your job, and you know, go
on attorney believe and then knock them back. And one of the women, her name is Jensaki, she's on the National Security Council, talks about being eight and a half months pregnant and she was, you know, with a in a meeting with the White House Press Secretary and this correspondent from this media on this broadcast station. She doesn't mention, and the whole meeting, the guy the press secretary kept
trying to deflect questions to Jen. He was like, Jen knows the answer, as gen, Jen might be the right person to ask Jen. And at the end of the meeting, she was like, Yo, I'm happy to talk to you. Is this is not her words, I'm happy to talk with you. You know, let me know what questions you have. And he told her, well, I just don't know if I'll ever see you again.
Oh my gosh, Like what because when you have a baby, did you know you die afterwards? That's happening.
Yeah, I'm just going to be a wife.
I know, your career to everything dies. You just have a baby, and then you are erased from the from the history of the planet. Like that's just the dumbest thing. I think. It's so crazy. It's like, yo, dude, you know you came from from a vagina, like your mom gave birth to you and somehow she's here still. But I'm just saying, it's just so crazy to me when people act as if like they were never want children, they weren't born of a woman, Like what you don't
have sisters, aunts, like other women in your life. I just I don't understand where you think all of these things come from.
Just you know, the man we pick up the pieces while you women go have babies. That's what it is. It's not just dudes either. I know we were talked up at this for a while, sure should, but it's not just guys. I feel like women. I was talking to a friend who was at a bachelorette and she was talking about how disappointing it was. A lot of the girls there were complaining about women at their office taking maternity leave and how you know it's not fair,
Like we talked about that last week. Yeah, I'm like, can you support yourself? I know we don't have to support each other because just because we're women, but like, come on, I.
Don't think people see what it is. Like. I remember I went with my sister to a Lama's class, and I remember the doctor at the Lamas classes like, just so you know, the first three or four months of your baby's life outside of you is literal hell, don't He was like, don't look forward to be easy, don't think like oh you know, She's like, no, no, it is literal hell. This human being need to be fed
every two hours and you will never sleep. You will just like And I remember being like what and then seeing my sister.
I love you that. She said that in Lama's class.
And I'm looking at her, like months two visiting, and I was like, yo, she looked crazy. I've never seen my sister. She looked like like the Walking Dead. She looked like a zombie. She just was literally sitting there. I'm like, I, you know, because she was so exhausted. She was just a boo a boo pumping machine. I'm here to just bring my boombaut when this thing says he wants something. I don't even know who you are
at this moment. I was just she just sat in a chair staring off at the space, and I was like, ah, okay, and so that's what maternity leave looks like. Okay, So if you'd like to be that, if you like to be the milk machine sitting in the corner looking at the wall, you could do that.
My favorite instagram, if you guys want to go follow it. It's by a real sympol the magazine, but it's called Women in Real Life Women IRL, and it is just photos of like moms and just real women on their day to day, like a mom with poop on her shirt, a mom with like a baby screaming at her, like, you know, while she's trying to go to work. Highly encourage it, Holley, Oh go ahead, No.
I was gonna say, I'd love to be there. So this is like, I don't know if you want to talk about Prince a little bit, but I was like, oh, no, Prince. The update that it was a drug overdose, it.
No, no, And we haven't really talked about it that much.
No.
I was just like what everyone had, you know, what everyone had been talking about Prince, and you know, like there was a lot of remers in the very beginning about him, you know, having a drug problem. But then everyone was like that's never, that's never, you know, that could never be the truth about the Prince I knew, but h yeah, he was hiding a pretty bad what was itoids pain con addiction.
Yeah. It just was so disheartening. You're just like, oh gosh, yeah, So when I heard that, cause I just because I hadn't heard, you know, you always hear about Prince was vegan, Prince was healthy, Prince was he didn't curse. Prince was Jehovah's witness, all these things that seemed contrary to someone being addicted to prescription pain kidno killers, and you know that doesn't mean anything, honestly, Just like, ah, man, there's this great article all who wrote it? It was everything
it was written if you could just google. I can't for remember what outlet, but it was Prince's. It says like I used to be a personal chef for Prince. And the article is short, but it is literally everything. It is hilarious. My two favorite lines are, so she was just out of chef school. Her friend was kind of like, Prince is looking for a personal chef. I worked for him sometimes you'd be great. So she takes
the job. Is it's like twenty four hours today. She says that one time Prince, at like midnight, was like, ooh, you know what I want a chocolate fountain, like you know, like just chocolate coming out of a fountain. And she asked Prince, like, so where should I put it? And she said He looks at her, doesn't even skip a beat and says, so I do the music and I
can you imagine? Like what are you asking me these questions for and then my second favorite line was she said that everything that she ever made for Prince it was like one soup that just did not turn out right. And he brought it back into the kitchen and just put it on the counter and said, no, I mean, you have to be the article it is. So it's just hilarious and funny and just lets you see Prince
in a different light. And she just said he was always really kind, really nice, and just like she just said, but it was like the job was too demanding, but it was just an awesome experience. And I'm like, if you get a chance to just google I was Princess Personal check, that's a great, great, great article.
I like those Prince anecdotes. He as a character. I think that's what you miss. Well, we'll all miss about him. It's sad though, I mean, and yeah, when the painkiller addiction in the United States has been a problem, like the painkiller substance abuse has been a problem for years and years, even before this whole you know, heroin became sort of mainstream, And it's sad. You can be pretty functioning and you can hide it because I mean, he doesn't have prescription meds around the house.
Exactly.
You can really hide. It's it's sad. What was sadder is you know the now his siblings were kind of like bickering about his estate speaking of the States, did you see that Snoop Dogg came out said that he doesn't give he could give zero, you know, you know what's about his kids and his estate plan. He's like, I don't care, they'll figure it out when I'm dead. We're like, care because I'll be dead.
That's so ignorant. And I'm not gonna lie. I just I can't tell you how many people that I've spoken to about, you know, like kind of planning afterwards or like life insurance or like I'm not trying to make my kids rich after I die. And I can't tell you how many people I've heard.
Say that even just a funeral cost.
So yeah, it's just so disheartening because it's like, well print like Prince Snoop, like, at the very least, if you're not trying to give your kids money or whatever, which is fine, that's your choice, but the government is going to take like that death tax. Isn't it like forty percent? Oh, I don't know, it's something ridiculous. Some high amount that if you don't have a will, they
will take off the top. It's just so wasteful to just basically give it away if you don't want your kids to have it or whatever the entail it to like a public school or like a great arts program, you know what I mean. Like, I don't know, it just seems just it's just so ignorant. I'm just like Snoop. Sometimes it's just best to say nothing.
Nothing at all. Don't ask Snoop for a state planning advice. He does not know. He just obviously doesn't have the right people around him. I just hate hearing about these celebrities, these athletes who you know, die suddenly and then have no no, no safety, not for their family.
Yeah.
I have a power of attorney. I'm ready. I don't have any kids that I have.
That I think I have. I mean, like all of my like insurance policies or whatever I have like one of my sisters like a beneficiary or whatever, so that I do have. I'm trying to think do I have. I don't know. I don't have a will, will, but I don't really have any assets right now. But I do have like all of my you know, whatever. Like I said, all my papers, I'm like, this is my beneficiary, this is my beneficiar. My sister text me the other day She's like, what's your social I'm putting you down
as a beneficiary. I was like, woo did you know? Oh? Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead?
Question wait, go ahead? Or were you going to say?
This is like double dutch you go, you go, you gone?
On Facebook, you can select like not a benefit. I guess it's a beneficiary. A person who can control your Facebook account after you pass away. What how you doing? Yeah, it's in your settings. They recently rolled it out. Yeah, I made my little brother dah.
Oh my god. That's really good though.
The executor of my social media.
Yeah, that is soid.
Hell it's true. I mean, you have a lot of stuff there, and you know you might want to like post an update. I don't know, but.
You know what, it's so oh yeah, that should be the name of today's executor of my social media and I DM you, little brother, the executor of my social media.
What does he think logs into my account but then forgets it and then he starts liking people's posts as me after I'm dead?
Yo, that would be so free. No, first of all, I mean this is true because I mean, this is not funny, but it's kind of funny. So a girl that I knew from High schol Passway a few years ago and like her last post or her last profile picture was like some being kind of vulgar just to be funny. People posted it for a day and it's like there forever and every time I read it, I'm like,
that is so her. But I'm like, wall, you know what, this is just how you roll out this vulgar vulgar post is the post that you leave people with like yeah, girl, but yeah, I think I didn't know that. I'm totally gonna make. I'm trying to think who would I make. Probably, like I'm trying to think who would actually like care enough? My sisters are like are not on social media. I probably would make like one of my best friends.
Mmmm. Think about it. It's a big life decision.
It is. I mean, what am I gonna do? Who will post for me?
Did you see this Airbnb while black? So I totally missed this, but I wanted to chat about it real quick. Okay, and wait did you see it?
I saw the article and you know how you just like, what is that thing we talked about before, like post traumatic black syndrome or whatever. Remember we talked about it like.
A racial just fatigue syndrome. Fatigue.
Yeah, and I saw it and I just like, not right now. I just not right now.
Well, I wanted to chat about I feel like I I've never had a problem getting an Airbnb. But then again, my name is Mandy and I look racially ambiguous, so I don't have this issue. But yeah, a lot of people had been like ranting about this on Twitter about how when you look when you're black, you look black
and you have a black sounding name. It's proven to be harder to get approved for an Airbnb reservation because you know, how you have your profile picture and it's you know, a human being on the other end, and they're more likely to deny people who are black. And that was highly depressing to me. And it turns out a lot of black people have experiences and they've started doing things like changing their picture to like a landscape
or something random or you know. Oh, there was one woman I forget her, I forget her full name, but she changed it to Tina, which is like a shortened version of her name okay to sound a little less black, and she said that helped, And that is crazy, right right, It's just you know what, it's not so crazy when you think about it, because the studies show that, you know, if you have a black sounding name and you your resumes and the pile with the white persons and you'll
be less likely to get a call back. But what I thought was good, Oh, I know where I heard about this. It was on the podcast Hidden Brain, which is by NBR and PR. It's kind of about how you know, the different things in psychology that effect our lives. So they were talking about the bias, the bias that's involved when you are Airbnb host and deciding who to
to host or not. And but what I thought was good was that Airbnb has actually made taken steps to like try and fix this, and they've had like so apparently if you host a lot, you're like an Airbnb I don't know, like p or something like that. You get some sort of like credit, some sort of status, and they will send you like bias training and they've been invited people to come to their office and learn how to be a more a less biased they make their decisions.
Wow, I mean, like I said, I'm not shocked, but I'm just disappointed, you know. Yeah, yeah, it's just but it's like getting a cab. It's like, you know, that's why Uber was so important, because people were actually able and even then, I'm sure because you know, with Uber, you see people's faces if they put.
Him up up same yeah, same deal.
Yeah, but at least it's easier than like a cab. Like I mean, honestly, I remember I was in a cab once and like I was asking the guy to like I was, I wanted to go to like New York Hospitals some of place. I was very obvious, like, and I was, you know, giving him the address, and he was so I didn't know the address. I was just like, well new York Hospital, Like isn't that a car? I don't know. So I was like, well, let me call
my boyfriend and ask. And he said something like just just some racial slur and I was like what and he said something like, you know, you black people never know where you want to go. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is right in front of like Penn station and I didn't even know. I was so furious, so I like took a picture of his like you know, like cab license whatever. And I got out and I'm not gonna lie. I slammed the door so hard. I'm so shocked at the that the the glass did and brake.
And then I jumped in front of his cab, which is just crazy because I was just so livid. And I took a picture of his license plate and then of him and he looked at me like, oh snap. I mean I didn't even do anything with it, but I just wanted him to be up the sweat it out all day. Good for you, I know. And then the you know how like in front of him station they have like the cab but like the guy the cab kind of sore. I don't know. I don't know, the guy that kind of like will put you in
a cab like next up. So he's like what happened? And I told him and he was just like what He's like, make sure you report him. I just I didn't, just because I was like, girl, I gotta go. But I just remember thinking like what in twenty sixteen. But I'm like, well, yeah, twenty sixteen, it'll.
Never It'll never end. I mean, yeah, people will always be a little racist. Yeah, some people will always be a little bit of racist, a lot.
Of bit racist, exactly. I think what always shocks me is when someone straight out just is like he doesn't what you're like cause you're not used to it. I think I was like nineteen, I was working at Daly's and like, this guy was such a jerk, and I was you know how Mandy gets such bad energy. I was afraid of him. I didn't know him, but he'd come in with his wife who looked like afraid of him,
like she was afraid of him. They had like two kids, and I was like at Dalley's of the sports club, and they were coming to take a tour, and so their kids were playing on the machine and their kids had to be like five and six, and I'm like, they're not allowed to obviously, for like you know, legal reasons. And so I was telling the wife like, you know, we have a daycare center in the back if you want to leave the kids while you take a tour, and she was looking at me like, oh God, don't
speak to me. Like I was like, oh God. So I had to look at the dude, and my managers looking at me like Tiffany, you know the rules you gotta let him know. But something in me was afraid because just his energy was so I don't know, nasty. So I said, excuse me, sir, excuse me. I had to be likenen. And he looked at me, like what. And I was like, you know, your kids can't play on the machine, but we do have a daycare center and it's totally free while you take your tour. And
he said, I can't remember everything. And he said, but basically like, don't talk to me. And he he said, and I'm want to say the N word because it was so visceral. He was like, what are you talking about? Nigger? I couldn't believe it. It was so and he said, it's so I had never even heard it, said like I felt like I was in like a movie from nineteen sixty five. And I was like, what I was nineteen.
I'm thirty six now, so this is like what I don't know, two thousand and nine or something like that. I don't know, no, no, not for all. That's like yeah, two guys like look at me, my masks. But it was so, he said, I could I had never and no one ever in my life had ever called me that to my face, like you know, maybe behind your back or maybe they whispered or whatever, but never like to my face. And I remember just being frozen, like
what what's happening? And I remember like my manager everybody kind of came out and you're like, shure, sure, you have to get out, get out, leave, and he was continuing, like you know, to cursh me out and like throw racial slurs or whatever. I was so shy. I didn't even know what to do. And you could tell everyone was so nervous because I work with like mostly white staff, and they were like looking at me to figure out,
like what was I gonna do. I didn't even know what to do because that never happened, and they're like, are you Okaytivity? I was like, yeah, I guess. I didn't know if I should cry. I just was literally in a state of shock. I just just remember thinking like this guy just called me like the N word in front of the whole gem super like. I just
and to this day, I never forgot it. And I just remember him dragging her to the car and I just remember thinking to myself that bigger than him calling me the N word, he looked very violent, and I just got the feeling that like he beat her, just the way he was like man handling her and the way he was speaking to her, the way he spoke to me, and that she was gonna get it later. And I just remember feeling sorry for her more so than myself, cause I'm like, I don't have to go
home with him. But I just remember thinking like, damn, this is who she's with and this is what she has to go home to, and so I'm like to deal with that. Yeah, but I'm like, girl, bye, he's a fool. And besides, I was like there was one like we always have, like you had the jenders, like personal trainers. What the personal trainer he was huge, came out was like what was said? The dude looked was like I gotta go. And so I was like Johnny, from now on, when dangerous looking guys come up here
and you have to stay next to me. So I just want to thank everybody. Brown break, the brown break I took last week. I think it was like my hair, oh man, Yes. And so people recommended this woman named ches Cilee cheskile I, ches Cilly Locks or something like that. Anyway, she's got a great YouTube channel and it did help me get like some hairstyles. But so I'm going to reach out to our BA podcast listeners again. I have been breaking out like crazy, Mandy. I don't know why
I never break out. Even as a teenager, I didn't have bad skin, and now I'm like breaking out. I don't know if it's because I'm working out so much and it's like the sweat, but I've been breaking out and I'm like, ah, I need something. What do people use for all acne?
Birth control?
I don't want to think I hate those steaking pills.
Oh really, Oh that's a that's the best thing I did for my skin. Really, No dairy and birth control. It's free. It's freer than face wash. Thank you Obamacare.
Oh that's true, right. I don't but I don't want to be on birth control because you know, we talking about this baby stuff. I'm like, no, I actually want to have one.
Oh okay, Oh, but well then there you go. You're gonna have acne. You know, one of my girlfriends said getting pregnant was the best thing that happened to her skin. I don't know if that happens across the board. Your homones, your hormones were like all over the place.
Sure, go either way, but I'm just like, so I actually ordered the du Proactive.
No way, that is so two thousands.
Yeah, I know, I couldn't believe. I didn't know what else to do, and I'm like, I was like, you know what, I'm gonnacause I tried it once. I think when I was like nineteen, once I was like breaking out. I tried it for a few months and it worked and I went back to my normal skin. And so my bron break is this damn acne, And so I ordered Proactive. It should be here today. I'm going to try it for a week or two. I'm hoping that I'll get my luscious skinn back, because I'm used to
like just having you know, decent skin. My skin's not amazing, but I don't break out unless it's that time of the month. And honestly, like not just my face, but like my chest, my back. And I'm like, Okay, I think it is because I've been working out like crazy and maybe I'm just like sweating up a storm. And but when I come home, I take a shower right away, So I don't know, do I need to like wash my face at the gym. I don't know, Well, you.
Can always use I use little wipes that reach may workout like right away, Oh, sensitive skin wipes like birds Bees or Loreel has a sensitive skin wipes because my skin gets really easily irritated. So I get the sensitive ones. I'm simple has wipes. Just use those real quick.
That's true, Okay, Sae, look at that. Meanwhile, I order proactive. Okay, what do I see you? For? Like?
Zero? Do one hundred?
Now on that time, I'm like, oh my god, everything's wrong. I'm ordering a whole new like I'm always ordering something. But I'm still gonna try because I'm hoping that like because I you know, when you're I have really brown, you know, highly pigmented skin, and so I scar easily. So I'm hoping that proactive will help to bring me back to like bring me back to normal. So, yes, my brown break is acne. I hate you go back to sixteen where you belong.
Well, my brown break is gonna be quick. But since I have been fighting a cold the past few days, I was like at a commission all weekend, bad daughter, bad Mother's Day. I just didn't go to and I didn't even leave the house until this morning to come to work. But like I told you, I feel like people who there's all this pressure when you're sick to like come to work and show a good face and you know, be there and like, oh it's so great,
and I'm sick. But I showed up at work today, and you know those people who like make a big show of how sick they are and yet they still came into work like a hero. I just want all those people to stay home. They hate your ass home. You're not a hero. No one likes you better because you came to work. You're not going to get a raise because you showed up with pneumonia. It's not happening. All you do is make people but like me sick, And I know exactly who got me sick. It was
a chick on the train last Monday. I don't know how long it takes the cold to like present itself in symptoms, but last Monday on the train, I sat next to a girl and she was sniffling her face off, and she hacked on me and it landed on my sleeve. And I tried to wait till I got to work to like hand sanitize everything, but it was too late. Yeah, and I and especially with like public transportation in New
York City is disgusting. We're all upon each other. I saw a man, you know who you are, man wearing a Hawaiian short sleeve shirt with greasy curly hair sneeze on his hand when he was holding the pole like it. It's just I can't there's not enough hand sanitizer in the world. So I just want to take a brown break from people who try and be a hero and come sick to the office. Just stay home, you know, work remotely. It's not a big deal.
Yeah, that's They always tell you that. They're like, yeah, nobody wants to get sick. Just e.
It's un accordant. It's not that, it's not I stayed home the whole week and I didn't even go yesterday Mother's Day. We were supposed to go visit fiance's mother. I just you know, gave him money and I was like, go get some nice flowers for her, and I gave her a nice phone call and she was totally fine.
It was okay, Yeah, nobody wants to get sick, nobody.
I'm not going to give her the cold a cold for Mother's Day.
Happy mother's say at you.
That's under for today. This brown break is brought to you by the makers of Kleenex.
Yes and an Acti products and Alka Seltzer. I just want to be back there. I'm like why, I just want to be snatched right. I can't work out. I got my face breaking out.
If you don't want breake control, I don't know what to do for you.
And I'm like, no, I'm trying to have this baby. I'm just wait, just you wait a couple months. I'm gonna be like, maydie, do you bet to be an azzi?
Oh? Well, maybe be so excited?
So did you have any wins for this week?
I actually do have a win for this week. Let me go back into my wind box. Oh so I haven't. I don't think I've announced this to you or to anybody else, but I made we made me and my fiance kind of a huge personal decision this week too, not this week, this month, and that at the end of the month. We've been talking about this for a while, like but like just funny ha ha and not really serious and lately just about wanting to buy a house. Like we you know, we've always wanted to buy a house.
It's sort of just been like one of those crazy ambitions kind of like winning the lottery or you know, striking gold in the backyard. Like you want to buy a house, but you also live in New York and you just know that's not possible if you continue to pay you know, a quarridor of your rent every month, a quarter of your income and rent every month, it's
just not possible. So we were talking kind of about it, and we're both like, you know what, we should just like move him with your parents and just say what we're spending on rent. Wouldn't that be smart? And we're like, ah, that's hilarious. We never do that. Wait a minute, So we really started to be really thought about it, and we decided at the beginning of this month that we are going to move in with his parents.
Yay.
I know everyone's been like really excited.
I know why because it's like part of me is like, oh, that's awesome because you're gonna be able to save a time, and then you're like, ooh, how's that gonna go? Right?
Yeah exactly, And like I said, we've talked, we've always like brought this idea up in the past, kind of like as a joke, but you know, the real the realer it gets the closer we get to getting married. You know, I was thinking, we only have our so we're getting married next to April. And I'm like, if we're gonna take a year or a little less than a year to live with your parents, this is the time to do it, because I don't want to do
it when we're married. Yeah, and you know, if we really want to buy a place next year, this is the only way we're gonna be able to afford it if we have this. You know, we're spending over two thousand dollars a month on rent, so if we take ten months off, that's not even including what we're already saving, which is I think pretty aggressive. So we just take this ten months, and you know, luckily we have the I feel like we also are lucky in that we
actually have the opportunity. Not many people have parents who have two spare bedrooms and love us to pieces and want us to live with them. His mom is like, you can stay forever.
But honestly, you are really fortunate. And I you know, the budget, he said me, is like do it. You know, I moved back home when I was thirty to like get myself together, and I'm not. Everyone, like you said, has family that they can move in with and not have to pay. So if you have that opportunity, totally
take advantage of it. I mean, you know, we don't have parents that can give us a million dollars small business loan, mister Trump, But we do have parents who are like, hey, I have a spirit bedroom, which is awesome, and.
We'll be helping with you. We haven't like worked out the math, but we'll definitely be helping with utilities. They live in a rent control department, so they already are paying so much less than when anyone else is paying. And you know, we worked out some we're gonna have to set some ground rules on like you know, Mandy will be able to cook for herself sometimes.
You know, his mom's like the queen of the kitchen, of course, and I'm sure she knocks it down.
You know she does. But when Mandy doesn't want autos compoyo every night, maybe Mandy wants like a salad. And you know, we'll have these roles in our bylaws house.
But I think honestly that it's an excellent idea because, like you said, this is a perfect time to do it. It's gonna be you know, relatively short time and you're coupleedom to spend with them, and she'll always remember that and it'll be something that you keep as like a memory, you know.
Hopefully a good one it will be.
I mean, of course there's gonna be some time and you're just like, because that's just with anyone. But I look at my sister now. She was hesitant about moving into the three family house, you know, with her mother in law. But she's just like, it's been such a blessing to be able to just like open the door and walk upstairs and give her the baby.
You know, yeah, I bet that's what she hopes is gonna happen. She's like, I'm going to start doing praying to Jesus, like to one of the many portraits of Jesus in their house. I'm just just praying to those these.
Little baby Jesus, tea Jesus, and grown man Jesus. I want you to make sure Mandy says here forever, so that way my grandchild can always be within my sights.
Yes, yeah, precisely. That's going to be a big adjustment. We love The hardest part is leaving our apartment and leaving our neighborhood. We love it so much and we
have so many good memories. It's where we got engaged, it's where we it was our first home together, it's or you know, we've had a lot of our entire social life is in you know, where we live in Queens and it's going to be sad to leave it, but I'm trying to focus on, like the future, just a little bit of pain for hopefully a lifetime of happiness and something we actually own that we can call our own. So just pray for us. I'll update you how it's all going well.
My win is. I just love how the President of the United States is leaning into his blackness a little bit more since he's like, I'm not to be out. So you know, first the fact that he closed like his uh what is the press dinner?
What was that called White House Correspondence dinner?
Yes, the White House Correspondence Dinner with Obama out Mike drop. That was amazing. But then this weekend he spoke at Howard University their commencements. He was a keynote speaker.
And Howard watched the whole thing you did.
I didn't get a chance to. But you know, Howard, for those of you who don't know, is an HSBCU. I always say that I can now basically a historically black university, and it's like one of the best ones. And just it was just great to see them hood him, to see the look of pride in his face when they were putting the hood on him, to see him encourage the students in the audience to embrace their blackness.
And there's one funny part of the speech that I did see where he said, like, you know, you know, being black and successful does not equate to just being an entertainer or like basically or an athlete. That you can be like Shonda Rhyme, she owns Thursday Nights. You could be like who else did he mention? He said you could be like, oh, it was somebody else. It was Shonda Rhymes, somebody else. And he said you could be like the president, he's black, or something to that effect.
That it was hilarious and I just thought it was just great to see that because I feel like the first term and then much of the second term, the president seems to shy away from just like talking directly to people of color, you know, and I mean at times, yes, but not to the to the extent that he is now. And so it's just nice to see him, you know, speaking at this historically black university and then encouraging people
to embrace your blackness and it's not a hindrance. It's something that you can use to make the world better. And so it was just nice. So that's really my win for the week.
I thought the best part of his speech, and it kind of is around the section that you're talking about, is when he was saying, you know what, going to college can be a black thing. Wanting to study engineering can be a black thing, you know, wanting to be the next Shonda Rymes can be black thing. Reading a lot can be a black thing, and there's not no shame in that. And I think like a lot of especially in my family, and I think I don't I
don't think I'm alone in this at all. When you are worried about getting educated and studying and doing well in school, you can you're like, oh, you're a punk. Oh you're trying to be white.
Mm hmm.
Oh you're not real, You're not down. And that's the kind of pressure you get and I thought it was a great message to tell this whole you know, thousands of these nerds to just graduated college that it's okay, it's a black thing to be educated. I thought that was beautiful.
Yeah. So I just realized we didn't do any We didn't take any questions.
We have none.
Oh see, so y'all don't have no question. Yes you do because your message them to me. So instead of setting them to the budget, Lisa, send them to the BA podcast on Twitter, Ambition on Facebook, and what's the gmail again?
Is that the Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Okay, Yes, we'd love to get your questions. We can answer them and get you straight and write and financially fit, fabulous and fly. Oh that's a nice little tagline.
On that note excellently to in the show.
Yes, so I will chat next week.
Sniffle signing off.
This is Pizza Face signing off.
If you're if you're six, stay home, Yes, stay home.
And if you have any some home remedies for my face, Please feel free to tweet us at the BA podcast. I would love, love, love to learn some more