Hey, hey, hey, we're back.
We're black, we're brown and ambiton.
Hey manma come through baritone the lower register. Well, we are praying that your internet let us do this episode, come on Optimum.
I just I don't know what to do, honestly, I uh ba fam if you because where I live in Newark, they're literally the only game in town. And for some reason, it's just been going in and out. I literally bought a brand new router, a brand new modem, all the things I've had tech come out three times, I've tweeted, I don't know what to do?
You know, and this is a social justice is you? It is a humanitarian crisis. It is a civil rights issue. We need our internet.
Yeah, I just you know, we need especially now more than ever we did our internet. So I'm honestly, I don't I'm not sure like what to do. I mean, I'm gonna call them again and be like, uh please, somebody something so we shall see.
So have you been Oh.
I've been great.
I just celebrated my five months of being a freelancer, being an entrepreneur, which is cool. Ways already, I know, I was doing the math and I was like, surely not five months of having a human took a lot longer than five months of being an entrepreneur. Yeah, five whole months. And I have a I have a meeting with Well, Me and husby have a session with my
dear dear financial planner Helen tomorrow too. And it's our first call since the call we had when she was like, you should just go independent, and I said, you make it sound so easy, and then I did it. So it's kind of a touch base. And you know, I don't know what we're going to talk about in particular, but she'll probably want to look at my cash flow and how things are going, and I'm.
Yeah, it's it's been.
It's been a good I kind of was like into my fields last night about it because I feel like I've done really damn well for five half in business.
First of all, you were number one trending on CNBC. Okay, yeah, I still got it.
A yeah, I was out of the girl. It's so crazy. My friend Cabrel texts me. He was like, isn't this your friend, Mandy, She's on my phone.
No.
I feel like the little kid's sister who goes to college after their big sister who was like Valedictorian. Yeah, it's been really freakin fantastic and I have Yeah, so I'm excited to talk to Helen. And I've just been kind of I'm kind of approaching my whole business kind of quarterly, and my first quarter was like is this even a thing? And it definitely is. So for the last few months of this year, I'm actually trying to
slow slow down. I'm trying to take in less work because it's been like just pouring in and actually focus on investing time into something that hopefully will pay off. But I have to really spend the time to do it and then hopefully I can launch it towards the end of the year. So big things popping. But it's been a fun ride. What about you.
Honestly, it's been like it's been really good over here.
I mean we have been I've been making the transition from like, you know, I don't know, a personality brand. I mean we always I've always had like a business behind the scenes, but we had some real opportunities to like quadruple business.
If we buckle down and do the necessary work.
So like we're totally overhauling the Literature Academy and as a result, if we do like I we always do projections for the year, like we should be you know, like potentially just under twenty million dollars next year and then fifty in the next three years if we do
what we're supposed to do. But none of that is like instagrammables, you know what I mean, Like I had to the transition for me has been difficult in reminding myself like although you know, social media and things can be fun, that I have to be mindful that, you know, I want to put things in place where you know, I all this work has been for something, you know
what I mean. So just making those transitions, they are like a lot of behind the scene things that have nothing to do with like you know, external stuff that like we're really putting into place and buckling down to be like a business business business, and so it's just exciting. Yeah, And so that's what's been happening. It's just been a lot of We've been a lot of growing up in business. Like so I can literally feel like, oh, this is the next level for us.
So so yeah.
But I know we have what is that I just wanted to share. There's this quote that we actually shared on our social from MICHAELA. Coles. She was the woman who just won an Emmy. I think she was the first black woman or a black person ever to win an Emmy for writing of a series. She wrote the series This May Destroy You, And one of her viral quotes from that acceptance speech was, do not be afraid to disappear from it, from us for a while and
see what comes to you in the silence. And she really was speaking to like, get the f off social media and go do the damn thing.
So I'm telling you what I tell you, Like that's six weeks away that I took and then consequently not coming back to social media like full time. I have not been really back. I took all the apps off my phone. I only put it on when I go live. Then I take them off again and I let the team do their posting. It has done more for business for me than anything else. And so I encourage people to take a moment. Don't get me wrong, Like our
engagement is not as high as it was. But I had to tell my team today honestly, I don't care because.
That doesn't pay the bills, you know what I mean?
Like it does it not in a concrete way like what we're going to be able to do as a result of the choices that we're making now. It is transformative for my team, it is transformative for the women that we serve. It's transformative for myself and my family. It's transformative for our community. It's just like the things that we're doing now because we have the space to do it. I'm just excited about It's just the next
phase of business. Like you know, we're officially going to go from small to medium sized business to like a business business. Like you know, we we have the potential to be nine figures, you know, if we focus, which we are. And so yeah, don't be afraid to take the step back. Everything is not social medium, you know. Once you learn that you don't need the external applause, you know, then you can navigate differently and navigat in a way that's more meaningful.
Absolutely. Well, I'm excited for you. I know all the hard work you're doing in the background. Well no, I don't, cause you keep it under wraps. But anyway, I know you're out there working and walking and listening to your audio books and getting the damn thing done.
Well.
We have speaking of books, we have an exciting guest today.
Yeah, so you met our guest today, Christine Platt, at a book signing, because you know, that's just how a normal tuesday for you, signing your best selling book. But no, I'm so excited because Christine Platt is our guest today and she is called the Afro Minimalist, and her new book is literally a blueprint for anyone looking to cut back on the things that we are over consuming, you know, letting pile up in our homes, in our spaces that
are just stifling us and stifling our growth. And she's got some really fun gems to share.
Yeah, so you guys are gonna enjoy Christine.
Well, shall we take a little breaky break, and we'll come back with our guest today, Christine, And definitely check the show notes and you can find where to follow her, where to get her book again, The Afrominimalist, and how to catch up on all of her amazing advice.
We told you we were coming back with somebody amazing we have with us, Christine Platt, a k a. The Afro Minimalists. Okay, Oh you didn't know black people could be minimalists? Oh you know, yeah, everybody, everybody doesn't want the you know, the Grandma field House with the plastic furniture and the chachkis everywhere.
Some people, you know, they thrive with lesson.
Yes, So I just so you like, I met Christine in person anyway, for the first time at Mahogany Books, and that is National Harbor.
Christine, is that DC or is that Maryland?
Is technically oxen Hill, Maryland, but you know we claim it in DC.
So and so we met at this amazing black bookstore called Mohockey Books. They were having a book bookstore opening. Shout out to Ramanda and your amazing husband. It just we just really clicked and we just got to talking. And now I was like, you need to come on the podcast, and yeah, you know.
I'm so happy to be here. Thank you both for having me. I'm so excited.
Absolutely, I'm excited to meet you too. And I think even just Tiffany when she came back from that book signing that y'all did together, she was just gushing about you. And then we couldn't stop talking about the connection between your idea of afrominimalism and minimalism in general and how it relates to finances. So I would love to just have you describe or like define what do you mean
by afrominimalism. And for those of you who haven't ever seen Christine, she's literally like a minimalist with no afro, just a delightful you have a perfectly shaped head for the shape dome you beautiful. But tell us something.
It's a teeny weeny afro. Okay, it's there, microfro, yes, microfro, minimalist fro. Yeah it was. It was wonderful meeting Tiffany in person at Mahogany Books, and I think it's I just want to shout us both. We are both number one and number two in sales at that store. So I think it speaks volumes to you know, people's interest in finances and you know their over consumption right now. Uh, afrominimalism, it's really just my approach to minimalism, which is a
minimalist lifestyle influenced by the African diaspora. I am a historian and lawyer by trade, and you know the history of black folks is really important to me. I love the beauty and culture of the African diaspora, and so I weave that into my approach to minimalism, which at the time, so this is about five years ago when I first like really honed in on this approach, it
was very unconventional, right. I think people think of minimalism number one, it evokes this idea of scarcity and lack, right, But even more than that, it's devoid of color, it's devoid of texture, it's devoid of culture.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like super Scandinavian and we are like not in most of us are not in, you know, in a country where you know that particular aesthetic. The reason it works for you know, for for Scandinavian folks is because they don't get a lot of sunlight, and so they need a lot of light colors, a lot of white walls to reflect light.
Right.
But yeah, and so you know, mainstream minimalism has sort of taken on this aesthetic of you know, of just being all white and barren, and I just really wanted to to change the conversation around that, and so and so here I am the afrominimalist. I wrote a book to try and encourage folks to live with less and that you know, I saw so many benefits and I would say, like right out the gate the first benefit that I saw where it was in my wallet, Right,
I was like, where's all this money coming from? Like, oh, I'm not at the mall uh every weekend. And so yeah, it's been very transformative for me and very exciting to just see other people, you know, really embracing this and really thinking about, you know, how can they live with less their way? If the word minimalism, you know, if it does evoke some negative feelings or you know, ideas of scarcity, you don't have to be a minimalist. You can live with less, you can be a more mindful consumer.
There are so many other ways to define this lifestyle that that isn't so limiting for a lot of people.
So if I was somebody I'm listening and I'm just like, you're right, I probably never thought of myself a person of color, you know, enjoying the minimalist lifestyle, you know, because you know, I want some texture. I want some color and some deep hues. So if I am like, oh, huh, aside from getting your books, okay, everywhere, aside from getting your book, what's like the first thing where I can start where it doesn't feel so overwhelming?
Yes, Okay, So this is. I'm so glad you asked that question, because so many people picked up the book and they were like, I had my garbage bags ready, I wasn't ready for the gentle dragging that happened. I really encourage people to first learn about the psychology of ownership before they even start to try and declutter. Right, So this is where you hear so many people say, I've tried this before and it didn't work. I've tried this before and it didn't work. And that's because they
didn't get to the root causes of their over consumption. Right. So much of this is inner work right before you do the outer work. And I know even when it comes to finances that that's the same sort of approach for me. Right, it's like why am I so afraid to, you know, make this call or manage my money this way, or learn about that right, Like, there's usually some root cause that is really the reason what I call like
the why behind the buy or the why behind the spend. Right, Because if you don't do the inner work, if you don't understand the psychology of ownership, specifically as it relates to you and your spending habits, you're just gonna declutter
and find yourself back at square one. So when I talk about the psychology of ownership, that means first of all, understanding why you have so much more than you need, and then secondly understanding why it's so hard to let go, right, because we all have attachments to things and getting to the root cause of like why am I so attached, you know, to this piece? So that's where you can start.
You mentioned the diaspora, I mean, are like have you found in your research or in your book? Do you do you examine how? Because I mean I think anecdotally. I just visited my aunt Brenda, and I don't the things that she saves, I just don't know. I just don't understand. I mean, dusty old toys. And she had like an old Barbie doll that was a cowboy from maybe nineteen ninety seven or something like that. Anyway, and it wasn't even a black Barbie doll. That was nothing.
But what is this something that black households or African American households are just more inclined to hang on to things? Was it?
You know? You know, that's a that's a good question. So I think it's twofold, right, So when we talk about people of the diaspora, particularly particularly African Americans, right, so many of us are first time everything, right, first time homeowners, first time six figure income owners, first you know, first one in our you know, in our family to have an opportunity to own a business. Right. So many
of us are first time so many things. And what happens is that we don't have that sort of generational knowledge and awareness that comes when you're not first gen Right. The second thing is like, we just have a completely different relationship with ownership. It's just a fact, right, So many of us it is the first time we're able to acquire a lot of things. And I find that in particularly Black families, right, it really goes back to
our childhood. It really grows goes back to if you grew up with scarcity, right, or if you grew up you know, not being able to have certain things. And a lot of those promises that we make to ourselves, make to ourselves as children, we are very committed to as adults.
Right.
One of the examples that I provide in the book is actually my ex husband, who is a huge sneaker head, and he shared how when he was in high school his family would not, you know, like most black families could not afford the first pair of Jordan's, and instead his parents bought him a pair of knockoffs. I did laugh, I'm not gonna lie because the silhouette of Michael Jordan, there was another person like blocking Michael Jordan, and I
just thought about, like how horrible the teasing was. He said it was relentless, and he made a promise to himself when he got older that he was going to buy however many pairs of sneakers he wanted, and he counted and like the majority, let's say there were like sixty pairs, forty two of them were Jordan's, right, So
like getting to that root cause. And then I also want people to think about Mandy the idea that it's not just you know, we think shoes, we think purses, we think handbags, but it impacts us in so many different ways. My friend's husband when he washes the dishes, he likes to use a lot of dishes that like the bubbles are overflowing out of the sink. And I would, you know, if my friend would complain to me, and I'd be like the girl he is washing the dishes
I don't understand why you complaining about these bubbles. And she would just say, like, Christina is just so annoying, and I just don't understand why he does it. And I said, whatever you have? You ever asked him? And she asked him, And you know what. He grew up in the South, very poor, was raised by his grandmother. Basically everything they purchased came from the dollar store, including dish soap, and even then he could only use one drop.
And he told her, now that he's older and they have the resources and means to buy whatever they want, he buys the most expensive dish soap and he uses as much as he wants, and he finally puts his bubbles.
I was going to guess that it was because, you know, if you're broke, you take that one little inch left over of the don dish soap and you add water water. You need a bunch of homes, listen.
I mean when I don't, Oh my god, this is Tiffany hate yo.
He hates it. He's always like, babe, we have soap. I'm like wasted just a little.
I know, you know it is so you know, it is so funny, Tiffany. I use a solid dish soap. Because of course minimalism, you keep finding other ways, right, like you start with your closet and then it transitions into every air of your life. And even with the solid soap, it comes in a little tin, you know, like there'll be some water in there, and I'm like, oh, let me just that's extra dish soap, Like I I don't,
I don't know what it is. But you know, if I think back to my childhood, you know, even if it wasn't dollar store dish soap, the dish soap that we did use, it was like for dishes, it was bubble bath.
It was it wasn't bubbled back.
I get hand soap in the My husband, Hey, he said, did you put the hand soap in the or the dish shap in the in the in the the hand like so if you go on my half bath, if if I'm like, where's I will put? I will squeeze the dawn dish soap that when I tell you, Superman, is this why black.
People were so ashy? Because we're secretly using don dish.
So clean hands or not?
You know what? I love that we're having this conversation because we don't think back to how our childhood and the things that we you know, we're accustomed to, like Mandy saying like, no, y'all didn't use just Mandy, I'm telling you it was it was it was bubble It was bubble bath, right. And you know I am also of the generation, and you have to think just age wise, we we're not that far apart in age. They still you know, like if there were four kids, like no
one was changing the bath water. M m hmm. You see what I'm saying. So like if you come from you know, that's sort of even if it doesn't feel because it didn't feel like scarcity when we were younger. It was just like, oh, it's a bubble bath, right, But then you grow up and you're like, oh, they make actual bubble back. So I didn't know, right, Like.
You know, kind of a jerk sometimes laughing at my aunt when she like saves the wet paper towel after she WAPs something up, and she just.
Like, girl, I did not know.
We people threw away the foil pants because we had to wash them out as kids, like you know, Thanksgiving, the foil pants, Like we washed them out and you use them until they got to be too disfigured, and I'm like, so dressed on me. My husband's on me washing it, and he's like, why are you washing out the four pants?
I'm like, you these are expensive?
Yeah?
What are two more uses?
Yeah? But you know what, Mandy, I love that you brought that up about your aunt, because so much of this is also generational, right, And so I like to tell people too, to think about not only what you grew up experiencing, but thinking about what your parents experience. So for my for example, my mom was born after the Great Depression, shortly after the Great Depression. So even though she didn't experience food scarcity to the extent that you know her, her family did, who were alive during
that time. It certainly impacted how they raised her. And so even though I did not grow up with food and security, I grew up feeling very, very obligated to clean my plate. Right even today, even if I know good and well, I'm not going to take those I'm not going to eat those leftovers when I get home. I still I can't throw it away, you know what I mean, I'm like, who can eat this? Who can? Right?
And so like thinking about generationally right, folks who were born after the Great Depression or had family members you know, who raised them shortly after that time. Are they are real different when it comes to consumption. They are either over consumers right because they grew up hearing stories you never know what's going to happen. Live for today because tomorrow wein promised, right, or they are extreme quarters they
are reusing the paper towels. My mom doesn't even drink caffeinated coffee if she is here, which, by the way, I don't know why decaf is even a thing, but whatever. Siously, But if she's here and I have just a little bit of you know, caf, and I go to no, no, no, don't throw that down the drain, I'm like, Mommy, you don't even you know, I don't waste it. Don't waste it? Right, So you also have to think generationally and.
Be more empathetic to them. And yeah, so I can't make fun of my dad for why he has a Samuraid sword and a popcorn machine that doesn't work in his living room. I can't do that anymore.
Is that what I'm saying. I don't. I don't think you should make fun.
And part of my identity.
I don't think the big TV's little TV doesn't work anymore.
Remember I'm back in the day you have the big TV on the little TV, the little bit TV. It don't work no more.
But we're not ready to throw it out because you never know, you might fix it.
It's funny to make fun of our elders. But let's talk about the modern you know, millennials of today or gen Z. What are you finding because I imagine you get stories from so many people and you mentioned your ex's sneaker addiction. I actually hoard. I was just making a joke about hoarding things that I save to my desktop. I just don't want to delete them, and so my desktops cluttered. But like, what are the modern ways you find?
You know, our generation is you're seeing these trends kind of manifest the sense of scarcity and how it can potentially harm us.
Yeah, you know it again. It also it goes two ways, right, I see a lot of folks in your generation really not wanting to repeat some of the decisions. And I'm trying trying to be very mindful with language because I don't like to call things mistakes or wrongdoings. Right, these are decisions and choices that they experienced, you know, growing up, that they do not want to replicate, and so I
see them being very intentional not to do that. I also see a lot of folks in your generation who are also for gen right, and so they are buying all the things, and they are you know, really trying to you know, subscribe to conspicuous consumption. I have to have this thing that was in this Instagram ad or I have to have this because it is a status symbol, right.
And then what I'm finding, you know, with with some of their parents and older folks, is you know this idea that hey, I didn't I wasn't even aware of my consumption to that level. And I don't want my uh you know, descendants, so your generation, Mandy, to have inherited clutter. So I'm you know, and.
You say with that, in fact, I'm pretty sure the key to his storage unit is in his will for me, and that is my that is what I'm going to be bequeathed. I would be, but you know what, I am the heir to a storage a storage facility in Atlanta.
Are you fancy?
I hate it for you, Mandy, And honestly, like I wait.
I do encourage I do encourage folks in your generation to have these conversations with their elders, right, because right now we can laugh about it. And I even think of some of the things that I have encouraged my mom to just gently let go. It's time to let go, right. I know that it would be that much harder when she has transitioned. Right. And so you have a lot of people my generation, your generation, who also have an inherited clutter, and that is even more problematic to do with me.
He wants to talk about death and clutter in the same insurance. Listen, ma'am with your parents, Oh my god, talk about things I will get hung up on so fast.
This is why oh no, go ahead.
To no, no, no, no, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
No. I was gonna say, this is why that we thank you. This is why, though, we have to have these conversations, because the first reaction is exactly what your reaction is, mate. It's like, ooh, I want to talk about that. I don't want to get cursed out. I don't want it right, but then be inevitable will happen, right, And we're like, where are these papers? Where is that who's going to take this? What do we do with that?
Right?
And it's much more difficult to do that when you're in such a state of emotional vulnerability, right. And so it's not to say to sit them down at a coffee table and say, look, I'm not doing this in here to clutter with y'all. So we're about you know what I mean. I'm not saying have that conversation in that way, But what I'm saying is making sure that the people in your family are very much aware of
your position on this, right. And even if you have siblings, right, like, hey, you know Dad is probably going to leave that storage unit. I just need y'all to know I will not be taking anything out of there, right, And so we need to you know, I just want to give you all the heads up on that that when the time comes, we get right. There are ways to sort of gently have these conversations, or at least start these conversations. And what I have found is most people, you think there's
going to be a visceral reaction, and there's not. People are fully aware of their unpreparedness. People are fully aware of their clutter. People are fully aware of their poor finances, right, it's really having someone spark that conversation, spark that inspiration, right, And I'm sure you all see that all the time, right, people are like, oh, I didn't even know what to do about savings until I found y'all. Right, the information is out there, but it's hearing it from a source
that is respected, right, a loved one. But these conversations are inevitably going to happen.
For someone who's on the edge of like, well, I think I want to do this, but I want to get more clarity on what are the benefits, right, especially for diaspora to participate in minimalism, Like aside from oh, okay, there's less stuff in my house, but what truly truly are the benefits for us in particular?
Yeah, So, first, because I want to make sure that people understand getting through that psychology of ownership piece is like where you start, right, And then I have a four step approach that I think anyone can follow at their own pace, which is step one acknowledging that you have more than you need. Step two, which is forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is also not really talked about when it comes to this type of work. Part three is the letting go,
which is what we see on television. You can call it decluttering, you can call it whatever you want. And then part four is paying it forward, right with those things that no longer serve you. And I think one of the biggest benefits for me has been having an opportunity to pay it forward and be smarter with my resources. Right. For example, as you all know, my daughter is in college. I'm super proud, and you know I was first jen. I had a lot of student loan debt. It was
completely overwhelming. It is unbelievable to me that I am able to pay her tuition, her room and board, everything so that she does not have student loan debt. Right, that is huge, And that is the result of a decision that I made five years ago, not ten years ago, not twenty years ago, five years ago. Right. That means what are the benefits going to look like in ten years? But even more so, what are the long term benefits
for my daughter? Right? Of course, as you said, having less to clean is wonderful, right, having fewer choices to make in the morning about what you're gonna wear, because decision fatigue is real, right, Like, that's beneficial right, having resources to not only invest in building generational wealth and invest in your children, but also to invest in your community. I'll give you a quick example. I have two very dear friends who are writers who do a lot for
our community, that do a lot for our babies. Shout out to Mahogany Brown and Jason Reynolds.
A poet.
She is yes, I remember, yes, yes.
I used to go. I was very central. I be at all the poetry shows that she was one of my favorite poets.
Isn't she amazing? She is still out here doing amazing things. She is the poet in residence, the first poet in residence for the Lincoln Center. And I literally have watched both of them just like spread themselves than doing this work. And they're is a wonderful organization here in DC called HOURU Space which offers a weekend of rest and reset
for folks of colors, for folks of color. And what I did was give them both a stay, right, this is what they need, and here is an opportunity for me to invest in this business, invest in my friends. And also this is like what would I have done
with that back five years ago? I would have used that money to purchase a handbag, here's an opportunity for it to help three lives, right, And so I think when we think of benefits, to also think beyond ourselves, right, to think again, even beyond our family and our loved ones, think about our community, right, Like, there are so many
like myriad benefits y'all. And it is a lifestyle that I encourage people to considering and doing it your own way, right Obviously, Uh, me as a now empty nester, my minimalism is going to look totally different than Mandy's. My minimalism is going to look totally different than Tiffany's, right, but doing it in a way that is beneficial to you and your household and your long term goals.
Do I get a last question?
Yeah?
Yeah, my last question was going to be so for me and for people listening. I think even last week we had a guest on Deli Ane Boos who we were talking about, uh, you know, online shopping and how easy they make it for you to make these impulse buying you know decisions online. Now you save your credit card, get your face ID. You don't even have to do anything, get off the couch to bank a purchase. Do you have any rules of thumb or tips for people on how if you were trying to get a hold on
unnecessary or overspending or over consumption. Any any tips on like here's the rule of thumb, or here's a tip where you can, you know, ask yourself this before you purchase something, or try doing this just to kind of come to grip. Yeah, the constant triggers we have.
Yeah, so I love to ask that question because I have a lot of mantras. I shared one with you earlier, which is what's the why behind the by My other one though, is it's not a deal if you don't need it, and saying that, like when I go to pick up something, when I go to put something in my cart, right, because it's usually we're enticed by a sale or the idea that we're getting a bargain, and I have to be like, it's not a deal if
you don't need it, Christine, you know, do not. I don't care how it auto populates unsafe all of the card information. There have been so many times, especially during the past year and a half because of the pandemic we're all in. You know's some emotional vulnerability here, which
usually can can trigger some of our spending habits. You know, there were times I would go to buy something and because I would have to go to get my wallet, I would be like, you don't want this, right, Like, it's really whatever systems you have to put in place to pause, because it's usually that pause. Right, you have to be very mindful of you know, online it is very easy, as you said, right, unsubscribed, unsubscribe from all of your favorite brands. And you know, like you buy
something renmibition. Ah, yes, no, this is a favorite brand. No, Like, you know, you purchased something online and it automatically saves your email and then all of a sudden, the next thing you know, you're getting ads all the time, right, or here's a new sale and I you know, there's
always going to be a sale. I have never seen so many, you know, a semi annual sales only supposed to happen twice a year, semi y'all just had a semi annual sale last month, right, So like this idea that you know, and again it goes back to the psychology of ownership. We feel like we're gonna miss out. We feel like someone else is going to get the deal.
And when we when we touch something, when we hold something, all of those things start to trigger partial ownership, and we become very committed to wanting to have full ownership. So don't go around touching stuff, Mandy, That's first thing, right, And when it comes to when it comes to you know, your online spending, just try and put some systems in place that make it harder, that make you pause before you make that purchase and ask yourself, what's the wide Why am I really buying this?
What's super sid pandemic? I lost my credit cards in my wallet during the pandemic. I didn't even need it.
I didn't even need it.
Because everything we saved it was terrible. Okay, I lied, though. I have one final final question. How do you stop people from giving your kids stuff? Because the problem like I literally have relatives who listen to the show and I'm talking to you, they know who I'm talking to. If you have friends who have kids, they're just so happy to give you stuff that ends up being you become their donation beIN. And then now I'm on a finger out doing with this stuff that I don't do
what I want, you know what I mean? And then it's gifts, Yes.
Go, Mandy, no is your superpower, right, you have to just say no. And I you know, I tell people all the time because like, my kid has so much stuff, and I'm like, do they have a job that I don't know about? Right, Like this is coming through you either you're buying it or you're allowing it into their lives and they're completely overwhelmed with all of these things. Right. You know, once you are firm on that, you have to be real firm. Might take two or three times.
People will respect it, Your loved ones will respect it. But if you're like oh, and then you still end up taking stuff, no one believes you. Right. So also when it comes to gifts, I think it's really important to think about different ways that we can celebrate those milestones like birthdays and holidays. Right, the only birthday party that my daughter remembers and that she says is her best birthday party ever in life was her eighth birthday party.
And I was just starting to think about, you know, minimalism. We just had so much stuff. I couldn't bear the idea of bringing another tiny little thing in this house. And I remember saying, you know what, instead of gifts, I'm just gonna have kids bring a canned good and we'll just donate it to the food pantry. I had this big elaborate moon bounce and carnival set up in the backyard, and one can good was supposed to be
their price of admission. Mandy, do you know the night before and the morning of, I just started getting all of these text messages from parents and they're like, what is this again? I thought we were just supposed to bring one can. My kid is in here raiding the patry. They're making us go to the grosser and they are just naturally naturally giving, right, and we have tons of tons of donations. So thinking about different ways and then
lastly encouraging your kids to let go and pay it forward. Now, the one caveat that I always say, do not look in that bag. Okay, give them a bag. It's all in the approach. If you go in there with the bag and you're like, it's too much stuff in here, get rid of some of it. Now, it evokes a different reaction if you go in there and say, wow, you know what, you are really blessed. You have a lot of wonderful things. There are so many kids in
our community that don't. Can you if I give you this bag, can you go around and just you know, donate some things that you think that they might love. Your feelings will be so hurt when you realize all the things that your children really don't want or need, right and how willing that they would be to give that to another child if they knew that it would make them happy.
What my step daughter sold her, she sold her American Girls doll for like five dollars at a at a we had like a like a garage stale, you know, I mean, because you know those are like two three hundred dollars.
We did that American Girl dollar life. I know that doll lived a good life.
They're so expensive. And then to see that she was so excited to do. We're like, we're gonna have a garage show, you know, Alyssa, just go in your things and pull out what you don't want.
She just put He looked he was like a raven, like bye, yeah, that they about you last year. Five dollars.
I know.
The pair who bought it was like.
So, but it's sold on eBay for two hundred.
So it's just to your point, Christine, it's you, you know the stuff that we give our kids sometimes, you know, we we have more of emotional attachment to giving them things and they actually have and receiving those things.
So to be mind that, you know, a lot of that is our own unfulfilled childhood once. Right, Like my daughter had American, that girl, Oh, that doll of a good life. It had a bed, it had clothes, she played the violin, It had a violin, right like, it was out of it was out of control. And I remember, you know, decluttering and going through all these things, and I was like, this is this is the life that
I wanted my dolls to have. Right, So some of that stuff is us fulfilling our own unfulfilled childhood once.
Yeah, I got to get better at saying no, and maybe don't do it the morning of Christmas when you're stressed out and another package has been delivered and it's a remote control driving car and you tell your father never no more toys and he.
Hangs up on it. Yeah, you need to get get that email, that no out, that email out ahead of him.
To say no in different language. Just now there's all these grandparents, well.
No in Spanish. It's still now.
It's still a lot of words to it when mother in law. Okay, but you know what, Mandy, you can also like redirect them, right, so you know what, he really does not need another remote control car instead, what we're doing this year for Christmas is fill in the blank or what I would also tell people who would just be what I felt was like not respecting boundaries.
After certain times you say no, you're like, I really don't want it, right, I would say, just so you know, I mean, I told you we're trying to live with less. We're not taking in all of these toys. Are you comfortable with me donating this to an organization in need?
Right?
So it's like that redirect too, right, So you got some options, Mandy.
Yeah, I gotta brush up on my intermediary Spanish to get to that level of conversation. But this has been such a wonderful, wonderful conversation. Thank you so much, Christine, thank you both for having me.
Can you let folks know, like you know, what your book is, where they can get it and where they can continue.
Yes, yes, so this is my book see Afro Minimalist Guide to Living with Less or I probably have eaten something right there, but that's the book. And you can find me online. I'm very active on Instagram, have a you know, a wonderful community discussions there, and I am at Afrominimalist and you can also find me on the web under the same name.
Thank you, well, thank you, thank you, thank you for coming on. I love this conversation. Yes, I've you gave me a lot to think about personally, so thank you for joining us.
All check Christine.
Check our show notes for all her links.
Yes, thanks