EP 277: Black Women Can be Introverts, too!

fun and moving messages. And it comes to this dope reusable bottle that I actually was just driving drinking lemonade out of earlier today. So yeah, it's awesome. Have you been do you know?

has her family. And I'm kind of in this awkward situation now where I decided I'm going to disinvite them just because, yeah, I know, I told you that. I even you know, it sounds so dramatic to say I let the dog walker go. But our neighbor kid, he's a teenager and he's been walking Molly for a long time. He just refuses to get vaccinated. His parents have. He's just like, yeah, you know, like we're not going to get sick or whatever. It doesn't really hurt teenager. It's

just like dumb kid, you know. So you know, I was just like, listen, we joke about it. I haven't offered him one hundred bucks in my damnself before the government, you know, said we should maybe do as an incentive. I was like, I'll give you a hundred bucks, dude, go get the vaccine. You can, like, it's not even that far. You don't have to even have an appointment anymore. I think. Anyway, he didn't do it, so I was just like, listen, you know, I'll walk Mollie until you

get vaccinated. Deuces. So the thing is with this new delta variant, and I've been it seems like the news has gotten a little bit worse each day for the past month, and we're at the point now where even if you're vaccinated, I do not want to. First of all, let me just say all the science still shows vaccines are the way to go. Y'all, go get your sticks. Okay. They will still prevent you from getting really ill, They can be extremely effective from getting other people sick, et cetera,

et cetera. They really truly work. And the only the best vaccine you can get is the one that's available to you. You know, just get anyone that you can get. However, some research has or you know, they've they've been following these kind of breakout cases where people who are vaccinated are getting sick and they found that, like we used to think that when you got the vaccine, you know, you wouldn't have enough virus in you to be able

to pass that on to other people. But they are seeing that people who have the vaccine can pass it on. And if it was just my if it was just my immediate family, it's outdoor fair. I think I would be okay with it. But we're inviting you know, relatives, elderly relatives from my husband's side, and people with kids who I just feel like, as a responsible host, one of the things I should do is just make sure

that everyone is as safe as possible. And god forbid, I'm one of those you know, birthday parties who turns into like, you know, an event where there's all these cases. So it's just really awkward. So my heart goes out to anybody who's in these awkward social situations. Again, it's just feeling a lot like twenty twenty up in here.

to threaten you to get violated. That got the fuze or now because like I invited my parents to like, you know, he invited my parents to there to his party and they were like, yeah, no, we're not coming out yet because my dad is eighty and he's like, m too soon, And so I can understand. And now I see he has like a work, his work, his work father that he's retired, that his name is Ron, and Ron is like in his seventies and he's come

to every other party. But he was like nah, like like I'm vaccinated, but it's too soon and I want to take the risk. So no, I totally I totally feel like it's it is worrisome. I mean we're all, you know, vaccinated, we're actually getting Supergirl vaccinate because she's fourteen.

So she's being very thoughtful. And at the end of the day, we did have a conversation and I did my level best to gently talk to her and like be understanding and empathetic. But I truly am really frustrated by anyone who's just not getting the vaccine. And I'm just gonna you know, I'm not the CDC, obviously, we're

just a couple of people living in this world. But we will post in the show notes a link to the latest research, the latest science that shows the vaccine's work, and a link for you to get an appointment in your area, because we can't go back, y'all. We cannot.

And the only way we're going to move forward to normalcy so I can have my dang birthday party next year too, just does not just about me, is if people get vaccinated and take it seriously, and if you're not going to get vaxxed and everybody, you know, even if you are vaccinated. Where a damn.

it's not networking. It's just connecting with people who you know, who are entrepreneurs doing amazing things. And it's a no pitch zone, so you know, people are not pitching you to like sign up for this so by this thing, because I've been to something like that before and that really, you know, did not sit well with me. And so

it's not cheap. It's like ten thousand dollars and so it happens, and so I know, it's really because the types of relationships that you get to build, that's the premise, you know, are ones that will totally outweigh you know,

the cost of the ten thousand dollars. You know, folks there, you know, have built one hundred million dollar businesses are running, you know, like like some of the names, I'm like, oh my gosh, I read that name in the news, you know, And what's supposed to set this one apart is especially that they're not that they're really looking for like kind, integrity filled entrepreneurs, Like you're not. You can't

come there and be rude. They make it a conscious effort that they ask the staff at the hotel, They asked the you know, your writer, like they decide whether or not to invite you back based upon how you

treat have you treated other people? They have like a forrung approach, which I like, so you know sometimes you know, so that's what really like interests me, Like hmmm, I like the fact that kindness is high on the scale of like no, no, no, You're not got to come here as a big shot and think that you're going to treat people poorly. If you do that, you won't be invited back. So I was like on the fence because my coach, you know, invited me. I got it interviewed,

and you know, they accepted me. So I was just like, I don't know, I don't know, but now I'm like maybe because honestly, the truth is, I said, I want to start to expand my capacity for what's possible when it comes to growing professionally. And I never really was like, you know, like I never joined a sorority. I've never you know what I mean, I'm not usually one for organized sports. Oh well that's that's not true. I played tennis, but that's different. But yeah, I just I was just like,

huh should I? But then I said to this, this is what you asked for that like you know, you don't you only know as much as you know, and you know, and if you want to like expand like what's possible and expand like my capacity for like oh I didn't even think that was reasonable. Oh someone else has done that. Member, Like I was telling you how I've got this business that I'm working on and you know,

and I'm trying to wrap my mind around it. And we mentioned that like a friend of ours has sold his business for like, I don't know, thirty forty million dollars, and I was like, oh, let me speak with him because I forgot that because I know I might be thinking like, oh, it's so overwhelming, and it's like, you know, to talk to someone who's done it helps to kind

of erase some of the mystery. So that's really like the point is that you really get to connect with good people, build relationships that might eventually turn into something more professionally or just even personally, might just create some really great friendships, you know, but in doing so, you start to just expose yourself to just a different level

of professional achievement, you know. And so like yeah, like I said, I was on the fence about it, but I was just wondering if you've ever been to like whatever, like you know, a version of like the next level of networking as related. So because I remember you said like you you were part of like a journalist like right, like.

I was a senior director in content marketing. But that it was a it was a week long, intensive, all day you're with It's like summer camp for journalism. Senior director nerds or whatever, and it was so amazing. I mean it cost a couple thousand dollars, which because I was you know, it was a management training. It was specifically about helping you know, people who are maybe going from a reporter to now managing teams as editor in chiefs and et cetera, kind of giving us the tools

that we needed to bridge that gap and skills. And for me, it was a couple of thousand dollars an I I had that comped or covered by my company, which is which is a possibility, but it sounds to me like budget needs to ink would probably approve this expense for your professional development healthy. Yeah, it's ten k in the grand scheme of things.

like recognize that. Like if I'm in a space or a room where I don't know people, then I'm like mute, you know. And so I was just a little nervous about that because like I didn't know. I guess I was just where This is what I told Zion, my coach, like what, like what's the expectation for like, you know, cause I didn't want to have to perform basically, you know, I was.

I might just be doing a lot more you know, listening. So yeah, that was just like I'm excited though, because opportunities like that are starting to arise and I, you know, really I'm working on a lot more personal development, you know, and it feels good. That's one of the things I had my last call with doctor Green, my you know, my personal coach. I was like totally and she's like, Tiffany, the thing you came for, which is so crazy. I came after we had arbage journey in monic Christina on.

I was like, they seem super connected to joy. I felt it was visceral. I was like, is that what happened? It sounds like because I'm not as connected and I want to be. And I literally found her was like, I want that feeling that they were emoting, and I feel that now and I am a little nervous about maintaining it. You know. That was like one of my you know, worries. And she's like, you have the tools, you have, the how you have, the why you're ready, And I was just like, I just feel like it

isn't like coaching and therapy's supposed to last forever. She's like, no, you know you, especially if you have a goal, it's possible to meet your goal. And I'm really proud of you because you leaned in. And she's like, the cap was the six weeks off because it really helped to take all the tools that we've been working on and you put them to work and here we are. I was like, I guess, so, I know.

And I said, oh, no, I think I have I can't go back there. I think I have PTSD. This is just feeling and I almost lost it, and then I just was like, chance, it's like an internal monologue that my tool is this is a moment in time. It will get better, it will get better, it will get better. So I you know, I think I think it's natural to be fearful of the other shoe dropping. I certainly am always kind of having to, you know,

be aware that that's how I operate. Like, you know, things are going good now, but what happens when or what happens when but you know, you know that you've got the tools you need to bounce back. And that comes that applies to Joy too, you know, and.

you outcited and it comes out. He was like, you know, people don't know how to launch their product or service. So he created product launch theory or strategy, and then he wrote a book about it some years ago, and it did really well. It hit New York Times, it was number one on the New York Times Best Sellers list, and it sold a ton it. Honestly, almost every digital marketer or online marketer that I know, they use his product launch strategy just because it just works so well.

They used part all our whole. And so when I first I first learned about him because Jabrill, my business partner in my school of the Liberatary Academy, told me, you know when we're right before we were launching the Academy, you should read this book and we should. This is this is kind of like the template of how to launch. And I said, okay, So we launched. We used like his strategy to the tea in the first thirty minutes.

I remember, like I remember distinctly, I was still like in my old apartment with Jarell in the halfway hood. Jabrill actually Camember Jabrill actually came in like he like he came in that day like six am in the morning. We were like, and we're sitting, like, the three of us are sitting in front of the computer. The numbers are going to thirty thousand dollars and thirty minutes. And because Jibro had seen numbers like that before, but can you imagine, Jirell was like and I was like, I

used to make thirty thousand dollars me. It was crazy, and so I just remember thinking it was amazing. So since then, I've used his system over and over. So I was on Amazon maybe like a year or two ago, and Amazon reminded me, you never wrote a review for the book. So I went to write a review and I named it. I said, like, this book launched me

into an eight figure of year business. And then I explained how in the you know, because I saw some people were like, this is a scam, it can't be true and whatever, and I was like, these are people who have not read the book. Is it a lot of work? Certainly, but it works. And I was like, and I don't know Jeff, and they're like, oh, I feel like he's trying to upsell you to his other

other product products. And honestly, I didn't feel that way when I read the book, and maybe he does mention that he has other stuff, and I said, I literally have never paid for anything else other than this fifteen dollar book. So and it changed, it changed the trajectory of my life. So anyway, I wrote that in the

arm review. Jeff emails me six week months later. I was like, oh, he's a house just yes, after reading I guess he must have saw the and you know, the the review and then and then my name on on on Amazon is the budget LISTA. So it wasn't that hard to find it. So he says, hey, like, you know, Tiffany, thank you so much for your amazing review. I would love to like jump on a call with you, because I'm right, I'm doing an updated version of Launch and I would love to include you and maybe as

a case study. I was like, what say less? So then so he said, you know, he said that. But then we were we just kept missing each other and almost like I felt like a year went by, and then finally I was like, let me hit jump up again. And he was like, oh, my gosh, should be dang already finished the book, and I was like no, because I wanted to be included. He was like, but we should still jump on a call. So we did.

grow creating the eight figure of your business. And he was just like, Dang, I wish I could have included you because I think it's important for people to see because you didn't come from the business world, so I think it's important for people to see, like you know that it's possible to do this without any prior background. He said, but you know what, I would love to include your your review maybe, like you know, like in the book somewhere. And I was like, oh fine, I'm

thinking like a blurb of the review. So I was on Amazon the other day and Amazon again was like, hey, Tiffany, this launch book is out. I'm like, oh, Jeff's book it just it just literally launched last week. And I said, okay, So as I'm scrolling up inside the like on his on the Amazon page where his book is. It's my picture in my my review. I was like, oh he put it like on his author thing page or whatever. I was like, oh, that's awesome, and I said, well,

let me support and order the book. I ordered the book. It gets here, girl. Why I'm opening up the page right after the tape of contents is my review and a huge picture of me. I was like, wait what he put me in the app? So book girl, I was like.

just like what I could not believe. And it's like Tiffany the Budget lista Leach, author of Get Good with Money. I was like, thank you for the ad.

fullness of whatever that looks like. And things like this, Like you know, that was you know, like a left review because it was a good book and for it to turn into this, and I feel like if you just let you know, if you pour all the good things in, things will start to unfold, you know. And it's just a.

Someone's writing this because maybe they're angry because you know, they haven't got through the book or they didn't do all the work. But you're right, like, literally, that's all that was, and now look how it like unfolds, and so yeah, life can just be such like this hard but amazing thing all the same time. But I definitely was like, I can't believe I'm in Jeff Walker's book, Like it doesn't I don't have the worst to describe what that means.

very authentic and very kind. And I certainly I leave reviews for podcasts all the time because I know what it's like to read reviews for your show and feel like they're a little unfair. So and I think it's just a good mess. It's just to tell people what impact they've had on you. You don't know, you know, where they may be in their lives. They may they may need to hear it, and that's really beautiful. I might need to go get that book now.

I know you're listening, and I know you're on a smartphone right now, you can just click rate and review wherever you're listening. It takes like two seconds. Okay, all right, well congrats Tive. That's freaking amazing and not surprising base on what I know of you.

from me. Okay, I'm gonna boost Simone Biles. When we recorded last week, Simone had I think at that point she had done not so great at like a preliminary event, and since then there has been a lot of movements, and you guys probably know at this point Simone, I think there's one event left which she's supposed to compete in, and I don't even know when that is in Tokyo time versus USA time, But she has withdrawn from all

these different events. And I listened to uh uh, there was a New York Times podcast just going over to Simone's how she sort of got to this space, and I just thought, I thought what kept coming back to me was the like And I know that there's been there has been some negativity around Simone, like, oh, she's done the unpatriotic thing she's supposed to represent America. But what I've been listening to is Simone's story and things

that Simone has said. And for me, what's really struck in me, stricken me is when she said you know, I wasn't sure if people would see me beyond what I've accomplished in gymnastics. But I'm realizing from this outpouring of support that I am more than being a gymnast, and that really struck me because I feel like for a lot of us, our self worth is so tied up in the thing that we do. And this was

very true for me. It's why I went that shit crazy when I was on maternity leave and I just didn't have a thing to do, you know, that job every day defining me, and I just found it really powerful.

make choices for me. And by the way, I have given my blood, sweat, bones and tears to the sport for her entire life, and for her to be able to step away from it, it just of course, she represented so much to our country, and we love some own but at the end of the day, she is so much more than that, and I'm really proud of what she's accomplished and what she's doing by showing people that there is a way to prioritize yourself and it does not make you, you know, any less of a champion.

So shouts out to her. And let's not forget too that she survived molestation at the hands of a gymnast, a coach. You know, this huge industry American gymnast, what is it USA gymnast? Whatever they protected, yes, they protect, they did not protect her, and yet they expected her to come out and be some owne. Again, we talked about the loneliness of being a black woman who's dealing with you know who, just isn't the version of sparkly

black girl magic that everyone wants to see. They don't want to really see us struggle or whine or complain. They want to see us be joyful and all the amazing, beautiful, sparkly things that we are. But she has been through so freaking much, I mean, plus a pandemic, plus like I said, like performing with injuries, and her body is tired. So I just I lift someone up and I just say thank you to what she's done. I can't wait

to see what she does in the future. And to anyone feeling like you are only defined by what you do day to day. You know, it's it's not easy to remember that, but I think Simon has reminded us that, you know, we have to because otherwise, like when you lose that job or that thing that you do, or you can't do it all of a sudden for something that's outside of your control, you still have to feel like your value you know, extends beyond that or else.

That's how you kind of just spiral, right, So I hope you don't mind, Tiffany, No.

little whitehearted. But so I'm sure you have you ever heard of like, you know who Albonzo? Where Vieriro is carl Bonzo. Yes, Carlton Banks, Yes, sir Carlton do he has created a narrative where he So he did an interview I forget with whatever platform. I'm reading this from y'ah who Knews. So they picked it up and he said, I'm never going to be fully supported in the black house. This is like because he feels like that because of

my you know, my role, He's not in. He says in quotes, I'm not enough, brother, And he said especially because of my I'm so, did you even know that Carlton Banks was married in the show or in like real in real life? Yeah?

that were like, ooh, child, like Terry Crews. Let's be real, we're all sick of his ship like, but honestly, I have never heard anyone say, you know who I dislike and hate that damn Carlton Banks, Like I mean, you know what I mean, Like he doesn't come up, you know what I mean, Like, I mean, we all love

fresh prince. And the truth of the matter is Carlton Banks is when I didn't even know he was married, I mean I guess I assumed he was married, and quite honestly, when I found out that his wife was white, I was like, yeah, that sounds right. You know, he seems like the type to be married to a white woman. Like nothing in a bad way, just because Carlton is, like, you know, it's not unusual. We like I'm not. I mean, there are some men that you.

So like I just think, like I'm like, what is his fake narrative? So first of all, I just love black Twitter They're like, what in the what the hell are you talking about? Carlton? They're literally dragging him for nobody. Nobody has cared car like you know what I mean,

Like literally it's never come up. So many people didn't even know that his wife was white, and they're like, we don't care, Carlton, and we've never not supported you, you know, because honestly we've loved Fresh Prince, your beloved character on Fresh Prince, and I remember he before that. I forget other things that he's been in, Like I

just don't. There are some people, yes, or like I remember like Chrissette Michelle, Remember she like performed for the Trump inauguration, right, So like there was a concerted effort to say we're mad at Chrissette Michelle. We you know, we knew that, and people are like, okay, but like there's I've never heard you know what, you know one of the people we don't mess with Carlton begs our fonds,

So you're not welcome to the barbecue. So I'm just like I can see that, you know, I don't know what it looks like day to day when he's walking out, you know, because I know that, you know, maybe he's saying like because that when he's like out to restaurants or dinner whatever, maybe you're getting looks because you're in a in a mixed relationship. But I feel like on a whole, like literally black Twitter was like, what is Carlton talking about? What is this made up narrative? Nobody

dislikes you? It's you know what I mean? Like I just don't even know. I just yeah, so I just thought that was like crazy.

own people. I mean, you're talking to a biracial woman right now, and I can tell you, uh, I am, I'm I had I've become very comfortable with who I am, But there are plenty of times I have felt not something enough. I mean, that's just Tailor's old as time for anybody. And you being you know, Nigerian America, I'd be surprised if you said there was never a time where you didn't feel like Black American enough, or to like misreferences or something like that. Like there's just all

these different intersections of identity. And I mean, I certainly feel like I would love him to come to any like be can my barbecue? He would be a hit at any black barbecue. Can you imagine your host is a black barbecue and Carlton showed up, Like I was saying.

meaning like you know, like culture on a whole. I don't know that that's the sentiment that like you know that you know, like I said, like I literally remember when it came out, I was like, let me see a black peeto talking about They were like what Carlsore, we love you know black children is vicious and they were like what truth tellers, Yeah, we love you like we don't. I We're not surprised by your white wife.

Nobody cares, you know, and two like you're a beloved character in this show that we literally we all love fresh Prince and you know. And but I'm not saying that like maybe what he's saying in Hollywood, like there's certain you know, because he hasn't quite fit like he you know, the roles that would normally go to like maybe a black man haven't gone to him, and then roles that would go to white man he wouldn't go to him too. So maybe I'm sure obviously I'm not

saying that what he's saying is not ballan. I guess I'm just saying, like to like brusted with a broad stroke, I'm like, I've literally never heard anyone say, Carlton Banks, you know, Alfonso was canceled because we don't like him.