¶ Intro / Opening
Mandra, Do you know what I need? I need to walk in these streets in my BA swag. You know what I'm really looking forward to? First of all, be your own Brown Boost. What an awesome phrase. I cannot wait to wear that on my chest like Superman. And what I'm really excited for, though, is I am a sweatshirt and like hoodie girl. So the classic Brown Ambition logo sweatshirt has my name all over it.
But where can I go? Where can I find it?
I was hoping you would ask Young Tiffany. Tiffany, get your Brown Ambition swag at Brown Ambitionstore dot com. Five years in the game, we finally have merch for you guys. So get your Brown Ambition hoodie, your Brown Ambition crew neck tea, get a onesie for your littles. We got toddler teas. Oh my goodness, there's something for everyone. Be your own Brown Boost T shirt for sure. We have a Brown Ambition mug, which my family is most excited about.
I had to do the fifteen out size for my big sister because she drinks coffee like nobody's business.
Oh you know, I'm the budgetish to write any special offer.
I'm also very glad you asked that question, Tiffany. Yes, with Brown Ambition fifteen, that's promo code Brown Ambition fifteen all one word, you can get fifteen percent off your order at Brown ambitionstore dot com.
I can't wait to see y'all in these BA streets repping BA bam with your BA swag.
Happy Birthday. It just does not appropriate.
If I knew, if I knew a Happy New Year's song, I would sing that because it feels like a happy news I think we should have like the sound of bottles popping and confetti. Yes, Happy new Year, Tiffany.
I know, happy return Democracy, Mandra Hey, Hey, hey, so that y'all know it is really us.
Oh my gosh.
You know what, in five years of doing this show, tiff I've never once been nervous until today.
Why am I nervous to talk to you. I don't know why.
It's not like we you know we do. I love our audience and our listeners, and I feel the pressure because, like Tiffany and I were kind of talking a little bit before, I was like, save it, save it for the show. The comments though, like, can't wait to hear you guys. I can't wait to do. So what you guys have to say?
And I'm like, what how about you tell me? Let's do the let's do the Where were you when?
Yes?
Okay, although I think a lot of people know where in the damn street like crazy listen, I think I blacked out.
That was That was the most brown joy filled video you literally see Mannyboddy here. Well, I was like, she's catching the holy ghost in front of our house while walking with poor Molly.
I know.
Molly is like I'm not or what's happening? The dog was like all caught on the nest, crazy of the nest.
Yes.
My husband was like, you should probably check the nest. I so where was I? Sure? I'll go first? Thanks for thanks for asking. This was a really like the settim circum the fact that I was sitting on my couch watching CNN when the news actually happened. That never happens, Like who gets their news watching TV anymore?
You know?
But anyway, I had done a really difficult like because I had so much nervous energy all week and I was keeping it together from my team at work and I was like staying positive, positive, positive. Everyone around me was so down. People were texting me like, what happened to Georgia? Where's Georgia? I thought Georgia was gonna flip. And I'm like, keep the faith, keep the faith. Thank God for my little brother who actually is in Georgia.
And he was following some local reporters and he was like, listen, George's turning blue. You've gotta believe. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna you're my hail Mary, Alex, keep it, you know, keep me, keep me afloat. And I had all my nervous energy. I just kept working out. I mean, this was maybe a way to handle it, but I just kept peloton and I was like, oh god, I can't sleep. I'm gonna peloton. So I had peloton. I came upstairs, showered, put baby down for a nap, sat down on the couch,
and like a minute later they called it. And I'm still you know how you like you after a workout, you still sweat for like two hours later if you're you know, out of shape like I am. And I just and it wasn't because at that point we pretty much knew right that it was gonna like very likely he was Biden was gonna win.
Yeah, but I just didn't.
It's so crazy that we were all tiptoeing around the preschool head, preschooler in charge. Yeah, because it was like all of the statistics, all of the all the pull everything showed that, okay, he not only won this day, but this day, but there's just almost no way to come back, and no one wanted to call it because they were all tiptoeing around the feelings of this three year old that's in the White House, like weel, I.
Don't, no, you know, I don't. He's gonna say it's not real. And it was called by some rando.
Sorry, I forget the name of the outlet, like called No, it wasn't you Google.
It's like help desk something.
Okay, nobody wanted to be the first one. It's like someone's uncle calling it.
For real exactly.
I actually was like I had just taken like a really long walk and I was feeling tired, so I laid down on the couch. I had been avoiding social because my heart couldn't take it.
I voted on Tuesday. I told myself I wasn't. I was pretty sure they were going to find a result.
You know, Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, So I wasn't surprised when nothing came out, but I didn't I figured someone would tell me. I didn't want to watch blow by blow it was too much. So when Wednesday nothing happened, I was like fine. Thursday I was like, yea fine whatever. Then by the time I was laying down after my walk, I woke up from a nap and I guess by then they had already called and me and be like I don't know, I want to say, like an hour by then.
And I woke up and I was like, is this real?
So you're waking up I'm coming in the house from my my my block party.
Yes, And I just was like so I had to I had to check all that.
I was like, you know what, let me be your phone told you got a text alert?
No, no, no no.
I just happened to like cause I would take a peek on I G every once in a while just to see like it's the world over.
So I picked on.
IG and I was like, with one eye open, like we what. And then I was like, let me go see what Fox fox'es IG says. Because you know, if the if the of the head hater in charge of media Fox.
I did the same thing. I was like, turn on box just to see what they were gonna say. You know.
Oh, and when I tell you the the trumpets and the Fox Foxes comments were living.
Oh my goodness. They're like, oh you the new cn that. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah.
I mean they've been mad all week. They've been mad. Oh we he's in charge over there. But they're like, m let's just uh, let's just follow the truth this week, guys.
Let's yeah, could you imagine so weird?
Yeah?
Yeah, their people have been mad all week. I mean, I'm not gonna lie.
I've taken great delight in going to I've never ever ever visited the head preschooler in charges on Twitter before ever ever. I've seen tweets obviously, like screenshotted, but I've never visited. So I visited just to see the trolls and the comments, and I'm not gonna lie. Y'all did not disappoint. I spent two days there. And that said, Tiffany, I think this is unhealthy.
But the giggles because people are so witty.
The Internet is too witty, it's too like, it's too fun. I couldn't keep up and you know, the same day with that the Four Seasons landscaping. Oh, I almost wish that that had had enough time to breathe and get its full you know, do in social media and the internet's all the memes. Oh my goodness, it's just like bam, bam bam. Like one minute, I'm laughing about that, or actually I learned about that. After that, I learned about Biden. But it was just that was just so what did
you do when you find out? Like what was your physical reaction? I was shocked by my own but yeah, I just I just sat up and I said what what? I just couldn't believe it. And then instantly I was like, I started seeing you about to lose jo job.
To get this dance.
I was so joyful because I don't, you know, what's so crazy? So someone you know, there are a few haters in the comments on my comments, which I promptly blocked, but they were like, oh, this.
Is not gonna change much of anything. I said. I don't think you guys understand.
I think people think that we are holding Joe Biden up as a deity, the way folks many folks who love Trump hold them up.
I'm like girl, what part of I'm not.
Celebrating Joe Biden necessarily, I'm celebrating the fact that your dude ain't gonna be here. I don't think people understand that, Like this was for me, this was cutting out of cancer that had spread and was looking to kill the body.
That's what this was for me.
It was like, now, maybe this body has a chance to live a healthy, normal life.
Maybe.
So yeah, I'm like, I think a lot of the joy people don't realize is not so much that we're like yeah, yeah, yeay Joe Biden, and more so yeah yeay yay.
Not Trump. Okay, it could have been ahead of Lettuce I would have the head.
Well, I you know, right before I know we were so you know last when we did the last week's episode, we were like, oh god, you know, we're recording on Monday. What's the world going to be like? And the one hope I had was that the election would go off smoothly and that America could prove something that I think we've taken for granted, which is our fundamental right to cast a vote in a peaceful manner. I mean, this just doesn't happen in a lot of countries. And that
is one of the cornerstones of our democracy. And I was like, listen, if we can't do this, I'm terrified for our future. And we did, like no evidence of fraud, you know, no evidence of real I mean, of course, there's all kinds of uh, you know, things to the work of amazing people like Stacy Abrams. We know all about voter suppression live and in color in twenty twenty, but by large, by and large, record numbers of Americans
voted and oh my god. And at first I was like, you know, because because the mail in ballots were the ones that really came in, and I'm sure you saw the Avengers and Game meme, which like a favorite, my favor of it. I even went, I've never really looked for the source of a meme, but I made sure
I gave that guy credit. John John PERETTI. I was like, he needs an oscar, but truly, truly, truly, and the real poetry of the mail in ballads coming in is that motherfucker thought he won I want real happy Tuesday night, and he woke up like what first of all, woke up because you told your people don't to you so male in ballanty me bruh, you literally.
Lost by your own hand. You literally took a knife. It's your own fait.
Yeah. I mean I just when I tell you the poetic justice the giggles, Like I said, I I literally was like, humm, who are all these main Republicans that talk Matt Smack on Twitter? I just I just want to see the comments. I just want to see the shambles of the comments. And like I said, folks did not disappoint. And I love the meme of a sister act two.
Oh yes, that wasn't oh happy?
That was another a great one. If you haven't giggled that one, so you can get your delight.
Yeah.
And who I know that that young woman, that prophetic young woman, you're about to lose your job.
She did not know that she was going.
To be a pivotal, a pivotal poetrys in this time of needs.
I mean, everybody fired.
Oh and the and it was like so yes, I was so. I was so overjoyed and relieved. And you're right, it wasn't just about it was bigger than Biden. And you know what's great about Biden is that he knew it was bigger than him. He let Kamala Harris go out first. He went out of his way to put a woman of color in that position. Of course, she earned her you know, she fought and she earned and
she worked for that position. But at the end of the day, unfortunately he was another white man with a decision to make, and he could have gone a different way, and he chose not to.
I was shocked when I'm not gonna like when I heard him say, you know, when they were like, we want a black woman.
As vice president, I was like, yeah, girls, like that's not going to happen. And when he sh when he chose Kamala, Kamala.
Kamala, Kamala, right when he told her, I was like, wait, is this real?
Yeah?
And you know, I was really really shocked.
And I just love how it came down to the very people that you try to disenfranchise. Hey, Philly, okay black, Hey Detroit okay black, Hey Atlanta blackly black black. It came down to some of the blackest cities in this country that pushed you out of office. Don't let anyone tell you that your vote doesn't count. I mean some places it was down to just a few thousand.
He's only ten thousand in Georgia, and I need so there is still too close to call, but George Georgia, Georgia. I mean like, honestly, I was ready to accept whatever happened once I saw that Georgia had turned blue and let's not call it blue, let's call it purple because
it is a razor thin margin. But every vote that in put Biden in the lead, I was like, I feel like, I know these people, like these are the people I try, like my family, my friends, the people that I know in Atlanta who haven't voted, who feel who have felt so who put their cynicism aside, because I think at our core, the past, especially the past year and four years for me, has been about putting aside the cynicism that I know I could feel, and
choosing hope and trying to convince other people they're not convinced. I'm not like I had the power to convince anybody, but I am so proud that people put aside their cynicism. And maybe they went to the polls thinking it might not matter, but it must feel for anyone who voted, who wasn't going to vote, and you went anyway, or you mailed in your ballot. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It made a difference. And if you hadn't, we might not be sitting here. So y'all are the real MVPs
and it's not over. I am like my aunt, my cousins were all like, yeah, many, we did it. I'm like, what y'all doing on January fifth? Okay, deadline to registers?
Because you already it's been too quiet.
A toddler in the other room, that's quiet, yeah, I mean they have scissors inside the the for real.
When a timeless too quiet, I'm like, the timeless too quiet?
Yeah there, So I until until like it is done done. I just expect Sanny because he's not gonna take this quietly. Well, what president doesn't concede That's literally never happened in the history of our country. He is putting our democracy at risk around the world for his own personal gain.
I didn't win, so I haven't though that matters, like his legal challenges, they really don't. I mean, maybe if we hadn't gotten Pennsylvania by such a clear, you know margin, maybe you know, we've been more nervous if it was down to like a recount here and a recount there, or a legal challenge there about ballots. But even if he won any frivolous lawsuit in Pennsylvania. I listened this morning. This was a New York Times that said, you know, or an expert on the New York Times or commentator
or whatever. Someone said, someone real, real smart from New York Times, which I choose to believe in, said that even if he wins this legal challenge a number of votes, because he's trying to say that what they're trying to what they're trying to challenge is these votes that were mailed in but arrived three days after election day, which some a federal or a state court or federal court had ruled recently that they could accept those ballots, where
in the past they wouldn't have accepted those ballots. So Trump and his cronies were trying to say, we must discount these votes because they came in a few days late. But anyway, there's not enough votes there to make up the difference. So but the thing is, like, you're right, it does not end here. I mean, I am listen. My next thing is what I think, you know, Trump is probably like the seventy million people voted for this guy,
that should terrify everybody into staying vigilant. I feel like the you know, I feel like there's going to be we already have you know four chan or qwan on, Like we have these channels where I mean, this isn't even conservative, this is like very disturbing, you know.
Right wing. I didn't know right waitnessy.
They find their own place to communicate, and they're gonna do that. There's going to be like a new because you saw Twitter. One of my the favorite things for me was how Twitter started to actually block yes, like say no, this isn't true, that we're not even going to show you this tweet because we don't think it's true. And I think that they're going to go and start their own thing and you know, make it easier for folks to not see the facts. You got to stay engaged.
And when I said, you know what are y'all doing? January fifth, If you know anybody in Georgia, this is what really really matters. There's two Senate runoffs, John Osoff and ah my brain is no, no, no, I got it. I got notes, you guys. This is how nervous I was. I put my notes down. Rafael Warnock, Reverend Rafael Warnock. Yes, so they're both facing runoff elections January fifth, and why are they? Someone at work was like, maybe can you
explain the runoff situation in Georgia. So essentially, there were more candidates. There were enough candidates that if no one secured a majority of the vote, it goes to a runoff. So they take the top two vote getters and they say, okay, you're gonna into a runoff, or not the top two, but the top vote getters. So these are the two Democrats, Reverend Rafael Warnock and John Osoff. They're going up against Kelly Loffler. We heard of ke Do you know any about Kelly Loffler?
No?
She a nasty woman. When they say nasty women, this is what they really mean. So she's like a she's married to the well chairman of the of the Stock Exchange. She owns the dub the this is and talk about like Hipocrisiana. She owns the w NBA team, the Dream in Atlanta. Okay, so she owns a sports team made up of black woman And she was appointed to this seat. She didn't earn it. She was appointed because the former person who held the seat, Johnny Isaac Sen. He was.
He stepped down for health care health reasons. I think, so she was appointed didn't have to run. But now she's on the ballot. And I mean, it was so bad this summer and I was reading about this the dream the team players wn W NBA players literally showed up at a game with Shirr said vote Warnock and against their own owner. Because that is how I mean. You should just I mean, I don't waste your time
because I'll just make you mad. But you know, her her campaign messages is like, you know, of course she's trying to vote against abortion rights for gun rights. She did the whole campaign ad wearing the vest and the rifle over her shoulder, and you know she's a gajillionaire and all that stuff like this is who we're voting. You know, this is who could represent Georgia. And that is I'm sorry, that is not for me what George
is about. So if you agree, if you agree, and you don't want someone like that for representing you in Congress, you've got to vote and tell anyone you know in Georgia. Okay, so here are some key dates. Tiffany, I promised you're gonna I'm gonna shut up soon, but I gotta say my I gotta say my dates, because here's my notes, my notes. Okay, So December seventh is not that far away. That is a deadline for new folks to register to vote.
And if you know any teenagers who are going to be eighteen by January fifteen, twenty twenty one, they can still register. So get just tell them we're going to go for a short drive. Oh no, you don't have to drive anywhere. You can do it online. Register to vote by the seventh of December. Early voting starts the fourteenth of December, so you don't have to ruin your holiday plans. And the official election day for the runoff
is January fifth. Why are these two seats so important other than Georgia deserves represented by people who actually represent their best interest. This will determine likely whether or not Democrats hold the majority in the Senate. The Senate, you guys, do you want to know why we've had all these conservative judges so from the Supreme Court, all the you know, down the line across the country appointed. It's because the Senate holds those votes. They hold that power, and if
we don't hold the majority. Unfortunately, to say all this talk of bipartisanship and unity, that's bullshit, like they're going to vote along party line. So it's very important if you truly if you don't just support Biden and Harris and what they stand for, if you support the policies and the issues that Democrats support, working families, women's reproductive rights, gun uh uh uh? What is the right one? Is? What am I trying to say? Gun protections, gun restrictions?
If you don't if and and forget, and I did mentioned the the pandemic, like if you support wearing a damn mask, like you want Democrats to hold the majority in the Senate. So unfortunately it all comes down to these you know, these two races in Georgia. But if you know anybody, that's my alarm. I have to wake up the baby from his late nap and he's going to be super annoyed by me. But uh, that's fine, anyway.
I just Georgia, Georgia, Georgia, and this is this is really serious, and I am My cousins are already tired of me, but I don't care because I it's too too important and woof anyway, all right, now you talk, how did you celebrate? Did you celebrate? Were you in them streets without it, with the mask but not social distancing?
No, I was it because I was just I'm not really one for crowds, but I just celebrated, just honestly. I just I must have been on Instagram for like hour straight, just soaking up the joy of folks and us. You know, I'm really cool with one of the well two of the co founders of Black Lives Matter.
And I was just messaging with.
Patrice Colors from What That Matter, because just it was just crazy because just a year or so ago she Black Lives Matter was getting the honor of getting the kidney of Sydney Peace Price, which is a huge, huge, huge, huge honor. And I was messaging with her and I said, you know what, look how I'm just telling her how proud I was of her, because she's she and the other founders were on the cover of Time magazine the one hundred Most Influential People, and some things she had posted,
and I was like, look how the tide turns. This is what I told her, From being called a terrorist organization to changing the outcome of an election. There are those that said that activism was dead, but I say stiff ware.
I don't know if you know that.
With the little girl, it's like showing off her hair. She was like they tried to say my hair was stiff. Stiff ware basically like I'm dry, And she said, thanks.
Love, it feels really good to be here.
I just when I just tell you it just this is what whenever they tell you, oh, your social media activism doesn't mean anything. Let's be clear the Black Lives Matter movement. Had that not happened, then we likely would not have been here. I'm not gonna lie COVID, you know you you a salty hoe. But had COVID not happened, people would not have come out and masked voting via male and also too, I think a lot of people
wouldn't have seen like, yo, this is really crazy. He don't really care like with then today out.
Here, Yes, if and if you weren't terrified the pandemic, by the pandemic, it's so sad to me. But we have to thank Breonna Taylor and George Floyd and all the other aman operate, the Black Americans who were shot by Lease and it you know, add them to the list of people who had to die for us to get our shit together in so many ways. And I'm and you know, we have to thank them and their families. It's nothing that they ever wanted to be thankful for,
I'm sure, but you're right. I mean, the COVID made us sitarases down these unjust killings by police officers, which listen, have happened and you know, I don't need to tell you, but have happened for decades, for generations. But it forced us to sit down and look and see what was going on. And I really felt hopeful this summer when I when I the conversations, we had the fact that my mother was talking to me about race, that my stepdad said he was going to vote Republican. I'm sorry,
vote Democrat after being a lifelong Republican. These were signs that to me, things were changing.
Honest, I wasn't that hopeful. I was like, because I was so devastated.
I feel like I was always Pollyanna, and you were like, but because but to Tiffany, you have a right to be cynical.
You know, I don't have to feel you know what it was. I didn't want my heart to be broken. I said, because honestly, I was mouth agape last time. I was caught so off guard, like wait what, wait?
What? What? What? What?
I did not want that to happen this time. So I said, you know what, if this is going to be I was talking to a friend of mine and he's kind of chubby, and I said, I'm nervous. He's like, I said, I have so much anxiety. He was like why, and he was I was like the elections. He was like, you know what, I've decided regardless of what happened tomorrow,
I still wake up fat and black. And I was real, it's true, though, I now, it's just like so that gate that took a little of the anxiety because basically what he was saying that there's still gonna be similar issues that are still here, and we will we have dealt with it, we will learn to deal with it and through it and and you know, we'll.
Figure out a way. But so it helped a little bit.
But certainly the anxiety was really high because the truth of the matter is half the country still voted one, why you know, And and surprisingly his numbers percentages rose and white women, and also numbers rose with black men.
Numbers rose.
Honestly, I mean, it ain't really rise with white men because it's like no more could have voted for him, like we already tapped you out fully, So it just one of the power. I don't know if you saw this, I'll send it to you on Instagram. One of the most powerful videos I saw was this Native American gentleman exit his car and dance. The joy in his dance and there was someone in the comments. It was just
so beautiful and I didn't know. I knew the dance meant something, but I didn't know what because you could just it was just so purposeful. His foot footsteps right and a woman in the comments that I'm Native American right that right there is what he's doing is called the warrior dance.
Is the dance that you do after you defeat an enemy when I tell you the boo hoo ing. Because it was so.
Powerful and we were all just in like, you know the fact that she shared that with us, it was like, that's what I'm feeling.
And I could just feel his joy in his relief.
And he was wearing like a flannel shirt and some jeans, but you could you could see the regalia that wasn't there on him.
Yeah, and so yeah, I'm just I just.
Doesn't it feel it did to be a hero. Yeah, it's and you don't need to be a super like this is the and I'm so like kids will see we made something happen because we did something very simple. You didn't have to be the smartest or the fastest, or the strongest, or the prettiest or the tallest. You just had to go and vote. That's all you had to do. And you saved this country in so many ways.
And I that in people's expression of joy after so many months of pain and anguish and anxiety, like to see people feel and I think, and especially my own reaction that visceral need to run literally into my streets and up and down the block. I couldn't hold it in, like I just I just My husband's like, what are you doing, I'm like, I don't know, putting my shoes on,
I have to be in the streets. And and and as you can see from all the footage on like cable network or news just in general, so many thousands of people felt the same. We just wanted to dance, We just wanted to scream, We wanted to be out there and rejoice and and and what made me sad is I know, like, for example, I live in a majority minority neighborhood were very progressive, and I felt very safe running my black cast down the street like no
one's going to call the cops on me. Low key, I did bring the dogs, I would look less crazy. But anyway I felt, And even though on the video that I posted, I came back and took a little break because I was so tired. But a lot of my neighbors once I woke their us, once I woke them up, they were out in the streets too, and we were having a little like impromptu block party. But
I felt very safe doing that. And I know, and from the comments I got on my video, that a lot of people don't live in places where they feel safe celebrating. And I just hope. I just don't want y'all to have to hold it in, like live in this joy, like take advantage of this rare moment of a win, in this dumpster fire of a year, find some way to celebrate in whatever way you can, and just go hug a baby, like I don't know.
It was so crazy because I take a walk just about every day, and there are just because I mean North is largely like black and Hispanic like largely, and you know, in my neighborhood same you know, sprinkleove of other here and there. But there was maybe one or two houses that had a Trump sign. And I would walk by this one house in particular, which I thought was so odd because they had this a Puerto Rican flag and a Trump sign.
I'm like, you don't remember how he create the Puerto Rico Latino.
I mean, listen, like the majority of Latinos did vote against Trump, but there's a fair number who who who who voted for him.
So yes, I just thought that was so idd considering in particular, like what happened, you know, like you know when once actually struck uh Puerto Rico and so anyway, so I so literally the next morning, you know, I went from my walk.
Why I tell you them signs were down so fast.
Oh JK, Hey, y'all hate Tiphany. Your neighborhoods are orgious those photos you posted. And someone told me black women in the suburbs, where do you live, I'm like, lots of black people live in the suburbs, Okay, Like it's and I mean, obviously, I'm sure we're in the minority. But you know that's what pissed me off the most. When you know Republicans and Trump would talk about people in the suburbs are coming to get you, they're coming for your they're going to be your neighbors. I'm like,
we are the neighbors, and we bas already exists. So like we like white flight happened, like I don't know, fifty so fifty years ago, like that was a thing.
That's why Newark is so very black right now because so many people left. And honestly, like you said that, I love my neighborhood. It's largely historic homes. But when I tell you so many times when I kne family moves in, I would say sixteen seventy percent of the time it's a black or brown family. And I love that because yes, you know, we still get phone calls every day you're looking to tell you how click. I'm
not gentrification is trying hard here. But what I love about our mayor is that one his father was a Mary Baracker, who was like poet laureate and like very active in the black power movement in the sixties, and he is a student of that. So our Mayor ros Barrocka does not play that, which I love, and so yeah, it is a you know, people will say so much
about Newark, but this neighborhood. I mean, certainly Newark obviously has its parts that's like not so cute, and you know, and I get that, but there are parts of Newark that are just so beautiful, and that's what I wanted to share, Like these are not even I mean, that was like a little short walk. I haven't even I
have favorite houses that did not make the list. Some of these houses were built in nineteen ten and they're just so gorgeous, and the streets are quiet, and you know, and when I you know, so when people do come out, it's usually somebody brown waving hair wrapped up as they're walking their dog.
I just love it.
Honestly sounds like Atlanta, which, by the way, my heart has been tugging me back down south for quite some time now, and I don't know how much longer I'm gonna make it a burial. But I mean, I love my neighborhood so much and I'm so glad we found
the little tiny Atlanta of Westchester County. But God, the joy, the joy, and thank you like Tiffany and Brown Ambition for giving us a place to share and amplify our joy, because there's people who don't have microphones and get to like, you know, share in that and feel like their voices are being heard. And I read every single one of y'all's comments and messages, whether you were you know, sending them to me on Insta or to the Brown Ambition Instagram,
I read them. I relished in every last ounce of that joy. Keep sending us your you know, send us your reactions, send us you know messages, Let us know how you're feeling, let us know what you're doing next. You know. Yes, personally, I feel I didn't know you could have a happiness hangover, but like that's the thing that I've now invented. I guess I just felt like I could sleep for a week happiness hangover. Like last night, I was so tired, so tired, and just like what
is this? I guess it's just it's like you had so much tension and the you know, you were just like this uphill battle for so long, and I feel like I needed a tiny little break. But I woke up this morning just feeling like what I need to do something like I need to get involved somehow locally in local politics. And if you guys are feeling the same way you and I know a lot of our audience are black women, so I wanted to talk. Just
mentioned a couple of groups. I mentioned Higher Heights before, which is a nonprofit that seeks to get more women
of color, especially black women, in office. And there's also a group called She Should Lead that you can check out and really great because they have tips and like even like little course is on how you And I'm not talking about running for president, I mean like town you know, school boards, you know, like these like town councils, you know these these small, many democracies within our democracy where you know your voice can have an impact, and
it starts with it starts at the community level. And yeah, I just hope this momentum keeps going, Tiff. I hope that I hope that we never forget how hard it took us to go back the other direction. Yeah, but I'm so so proud. I'm so proud. I've never been more proud to be American.
And just know that there are people now who are what my friend needs to call punching potatoes in the garage.
So he would always say that.
I know it's going to sound crazy, but he would always say, like, if we went somewhere and you know, let's just say, you know, some guy was trying to flex or whatever, and I'd be like, oh my gosh, he's acting crazy.
He's like, man, you know.
What what I learned, He said, I'll leave people alone because you don't know who's been in the garage for the last ten years punch of potatoes, basically preparing for the day that you say something and they spaz out, and now they have all the strength. And so what I'm just saying is that there are those who are like, Okay, they're right now punching potatoes in the garage, waiting for four years to come out in full force. So we can't forget, and we can't slack, and we can't be lax.
This is just the beginning. We were going to have to come out with full force because the potato punchers certainly will be.
Absolutely and a lot of those potato punchers, I mean I never refer to them that way, but I'm related to a lot of them. Yeah, I you know, the holidays are coming up, and I think people are really grateful that they have an excuse not to be gathering with their families. Sad enough. Sad enough, I personally would not be looking forward to some of my relatives around the things doving table, but I am looking forward to
the holidays in general. And I have to do a quick shout out to doctor Aimani Walker because she was a guest on our show recently and she's on a Bravo show called Nary To Medicine. But she's a whole ass like psychiatrist there. She's amazing. And her podcast is called The Moni State of Mind. This is not a paid ad, although they have paid us in the past to run ads for them, but this.
Is a breby.
This is a breeby. I was looking for something to listen to while I was like doing It was wash day yesterday, and I was like, nothing political. I just want something, you know, interesting, but like not gonna you know not, just give me a break from politics. And I turned on her podcast and it was so it's
so funny. It's her and her good friend whose name I forget now, but it reminds me of you and I, Tiff, and they talk about mental health issues and the episode was about seasonal depression and like, how you know, but anyway, I got my I got such a chuckle out of listening to her talk about how excited she is for the holidays, and I am too, and I really look forward to finishing out twenty twenty. Like let's try to end on a high note, like wear your damn masks,
don't forget COVID's out there. But I'm just ready for more joy joy Joy Joy.
Also I'm like, I got the joy joy joy Joy. Danny in my heart said, it reminded me of that. Oh, I can't wait to sear my books with you later. But we'll get there.
We'll get there. But before we do, let's take a quick break and we'll come back and answer some questions. Question try to keep it non political, but.
Yes, so happy.
All right, y'all, we are back, and once again, if you guys want to hit us up with your questions. I know that this y'all already know where to go, where to do it, but I just can't help myself. Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com if you want to send us an email, or you can hit us up on Instagram, where I Brown Ambition podcast on the Gram, and I should never have told y'all to message me directly as a because that is what's been happening. I
too have to before I read some questions. Tip. One of our listenersh sent a message to the BA install account. And remember I told y'all basically I am Brown and I'm Brown Ambition customer support for the online store, which is fine. Y'all are very good customers. But this one listener, her name is ash Ashley Ashy. She messaged me and was like, look, I really want to get my daughter, you know, at an outfit. But the onesie is like twenty five dollars, but the but the sweatshirt's three dollars,
Like how does that work? And I'm like, you know what, she's right, and she was like, I don't know how merchandising work. Or she said, I don't know how merchandising works, but maybe y'all could look into that. And I was like, you know what, Ash, I don't know how merchandising works either. That is why the prices are Craig Cray. So thanks to her. I mean, that was a really good point. It was pretty dumb, and I think I just went
by the printful recommended prices. But listen, I have reduced the price of our Brown Ambition onesies for your children, so go pick them up. They're like nine dollars off and now I know why they weren't selling. Okay, fair, fair point, miss Ashy. So thanks y'all, and again, Brown Ambitionstore dot com is where you can pick up your Brown Ambition swag. And I've never felt more excited to rock that logo.
That's why I just came in today.
It did.
I cannot wait.
Literally, like, I just went downstairs and I was like, ooh, a bag a swag.
We need pictures right now? Yes, okay, but let's get into these dms and get some questions up. Our first
¶ I've got 40k in the stock market, should I pull some of that money out for a down payment on a house?
question comes from a listener who wants to remain anonymous, but we'll just call her. We'll just call her Cynthia for now. Cynthia says, I'm a twenty five year old single woman who recently started her first job. My credit score is great, and I've been really good at saving throughout college. I have about forty thousand dollars in the stock market, and I'm wondering if I should pull it out and use that as my down payment for a house. In addition, what are your thoughts on whether I should
move my money to a managed investment account? Thank you so much for the show. It has been a fundamental part of my financial journey.
So to be clear, the stock market, but this is not her this is not her retirement account.
She doesn't say. She says the stock market, which is my question, like, what do you mean a stock market? Do you have a four h one k? But first of all, forty k at twenty five? Can we just sclow a clap for that? That is really really impressive? And she's looking to get a house already single, twenty five, recently started her first job, already has forty K. So
I'm wondering if this is like a brokerage account. But nevertheless, like a lot of young people, she's looking at housing market wondering if she should jump in, and then like how do I pay for it? So yeah, so I mean, Tiff, what do you think about dipping into your Some people actually will invest so they can do this.
Yes, that's right, I'm not opposed. Now I'm gonna caveat, caveat, caveat, I'm going to assume that when you say stock market you mean, because to me, there are two core avenues for investing. There's investing for retirement. That's for your old lady self, Rwanda, that's what I call my old lady's self. And then there's investing for wealth. So investing for retirement is for future, you know, future life. Investing for wealth, to me, it's the purpose is to make your life
better now, you know. So I'm going to assume that you are investing for retirement, and this is not your retirement money.
That's what we're just going to assume.
That being said, I have no problem pulling money out of the investing for wealth bucket, because that's the purpose. When my sister did this, remember the one that you guys have won on here all the time, She's like, no, girl, But so Carol when years ago, Carol she's an engineer, and she was like, oh my gosh, my gosh, this company Tesla YadA YadA, Tesla Tesla. I was like, girl, I don't know what those words mean. And she's like, no,
I'm telling you, Teshlo, teslo, Tesla. I think she bought it for thirty dollars a damn share and she scraped together fifteen hundred dollars, which was like so much money that because she was so young. Because if I was like in my I am, I'm like five or six years old than Carol. So if I was in my late twenties, she was like in her mid to early twenties. So she scraped together fifteen hundred dollars because she believed in it so much. Just I guess as being an engineer,
she had studied whatever. So she did that, and then years later she sold it. I didn't want to say maybe had three hundred dollars. She so by the time she sold it, she had gotten her return on the fifteen hundred was about thirty thousand dollars. Now that makes it. It wasn't her retirement. It wasn't she and she used it. She and her husband, her her boyfriend at the time. She convinced him buy some Tesla as well well, and then they used it.
They sold it and used it to pay for their wedding.
To me, there's nothing wrong with that necessarily, because it's it's not investing for your retirement. It's not money that you're setting aside for your future older self. To me, investing for wealth is to be used now and especially now if you have your ears to the screets like
I did. Warren Buffett has stated many times that he feels that this stock market is so overpriced by like over one hundred percent, meaning that the stocks are inflated, which means that those genes that you're buying for one hundred dollars really are more so worth twenty five.
And eventually the market's going to correct itself. So it actually.
Wouldn't be the worst thing to pull some money out now and put it towards something that you know that this is really the.
Value Tiffany's opinion, not financial advice.
Yes, yes, psich, you did not see me, see your grandma, so it is what.
She would do, not when you have to do.
Yeah, but I look too like but there's nothing wrong with you your money there either. But I just want you to know that I think a lot of people would think manly that I'd be like, no, leave it. Not the investing for wealth bucket. I think that it's it's there to be used kind of like for things like this if you if you find it it fits your your ultimate financial plans and goals.
Yeah, I wasn't sure what my answer was to this question until I'm sitting here listening to you and I agree with You're with what you're saying to if you definitely, you know, if that's your purpose, and you've got your and you're still young, right, so you got plenty of time to you know, keep contributing to your retirement account and all of that, and you know, ownership. Home ownership
is a great way to build wealth too. It can be you know, depending on it's a it's a slow and steady kind of way to build wealth and equity in your home but away. Nevertheless, So what I would say is, if you're thinking about, you know, cashing out your entire account, and I don't know necessarily what percentage
that could be for a down payment. Maybe it's ten percent, maybe it's twenty, I will say one of the things that I wish I had done differently about my home perch was not not put so much cash down because I think I just got caught up in doing things the right way and I wanted to put twenty percent down so I would avoid PMI. And that's how you you know, you you you, that's the financially responsible way to get a house. You don't need to do it
that way. And in fact, if you look at you know, the potential you have to gain by keeping your money in the stock market versus the potential you have for your home to appreciate in value. You know, you on average, you know, over a decent time horizon like five to ten years or longer, you probably will earn more in the stock market then your home will increase in value.
Unless you know, you're you happen to get in right when the market is down and you know, hot real estate market and then like I don't know, Trader Joe's comes into town and then stock prices jump or something like that. But I would just think, you know, if I could do things differently, I might have put less down and kept more cash in my investment account because I could have definitely qualified for a low down payment mortgage. There was all kinds of you know, first time home
buyer programs and you know loans out there. I could have gotten to keep more of my cash on hand for emergencies but also for stock market investing for the renovation that we did, you know all that. So that's all I would add to that. But I just think kudos for having forty K at all it took me a long time to get there, and I was not twenty five. I think I opened my four rowin k when I was twenty four, So yeah, yes, I.
Actually I was there, but I didn't have the money investor.
I think at twenty five, this is like before I'd mess up all my money. So it was like, you know, it's like basically, it's like I had I had a brand new car before I crashed it, because almost everyone crashes their first car in some way, shape or form. No, but as many said, kudos to you, but you know, make sure that we're not talking about your retirement account, because that's just a different animal. We really want you to set aside for your future, old Lady South.
Yes, ma'am. All right, well, thank you very much for your question, and thanks for listening to the show Man. If you started listening five years ago, you were nineteen, that makes me so babies list Okay, okay, let's take another question. Question all this one made me a little bit sad. But I feel like a lot of folks, unfortunately, especially women who listen to our show me, may identify with the circumstances here and the feeling that this listener
has we'll keep her anonymous. We'll call her. What's a name, tiff An. You think of a name, Sandra, We'll call her Sandra. Okay, Sandra says, yesterday, I was fired from
¶ Yesterday I was fired from my new job. I experienced so much hate from the white women in the office, I think because of the election. Do you know anywhere I can go work and feel safe as a black woman?
my new job. I only worked there two full weeks. When I started working there, I was met with so much hate from the white women at this law firm like I have never seen before, like evilness. I feel like this election made them want to retaliate towards any black person around aka me. I've been a paralegal for fourteen years. The good news is that I've been listening to your podcast for years and have made it my business to save my money. So I have my expenses
covered for the next few months. Do you know anywhere I can go and work as a blame black woman and feel safe and not attacked for being black. I live in Saint Louis, Missouri. I don't know if you'll see this, but maybe you will. Thank you, Oh Saint Louis, not that you said. I know this sounds kind of random, but I have a friend Christina, which don't laugh. Her name is Christina Aguilera.
Are now wait Forristina y or sing Christina with a K but Christina's in her twenties. Oh she might have just turned thirty. But she is amazing. She is like almost single handedly buying up Saint Louis. This is where she's from, and she is turning some of these depressed neighborhoods with dilapidated houses. She is buying them, she is flipping them, and then she's making them beautiful, affordable homes for people.
So she's amazing.
So I wonder if you shot me an email. Just go to the budget lista dot com and click contact. I'm gonna hit Christina up.
You never know. You know, she's in Saint Louis and you're paralegal. She's in real estate.
So and she's honestly one of these people that wants to see other women, especially when so there might be something there. But also too, I have my attorney. Her name is Tony. She's amazing, amazing, amazing. Tony went to an Ivy League school and then I think she has her doctorate.
She's just amazing, but it also might just help. She's also really kind.
I'm already putting Tony out there, but maybe just helping to chat with someone about who's in that field, about you know, what are some options. I don't know that Tony herself is looking for someone, but she might she might know in that field. You know what a friend of mine is looking for someone. So I would say, Sondra, you've already taken the first core step, which is to ask for help, because you just don't know who people
know or what opportunities are out there. But if you hit me up at budgetista dot com, you just click the contact me button, I will at the very least connect you with those two women, and you never know.
Yeah, I mean, this is there's a couple different questions here. I feel like that aren't being but you know that are just wrapped up in this, which is like, oh shit, I had a job for two weeks and I was let go. You know, how do I position myself for the next opportunity? You know, do I put this on my resume? What if they call for ask for a reference, whatnot. But you've been working, you said, for fourteen years, so
I imagine you've got good references on your file. I would say, you know, I'm not in the legal field, but if anyone listening knows anyone in the Saint Louis area looking for a par of legal services, and I bet even beyond Saint Louis because COVID times right, everyone's working for home. So if anybody needs paralegal services and want to give us, you know, shout us out, send
us a note on Insta or at our email. You know, maybe we can connect you to Sandra or at least I love how you're we're using a fake name and we're both pronouncing it differently. You're Sandra Ira anyway anyway. And also just like the point, you know, how to working in a place where you don't feel welcome as a black woman, as a black woman, and do we know anywhere she could work where she doesn't have to
feel this way? It's it's it's difficult. I think I've said on the show before, especially after this summer, I kind of made a commitment to myself. I wasn't going to work for another company as long as I had a choice that made me feel like inclusion was an afterthought or something that was just on paper but not
in action. But it is a good question, like how do you know if the place you're working for is going to be friendly to you or where you're feel comfortable if you're a person of color, from a different background,
or different sexuality or whatnot. And I would say you might have to be proactive because not every and not all companies are big, right, so not every employer is going to go out of their way to introduce you to other colleagues, to introduce you to folks you might be on your team if you were to be hired to have you talk to someone in HR who can
answer questions about inclusivity. But you can ask for those things yourself, and that may that may help get you at least, you know, if you can't go physically in the building these days, if you are able to zoom some folks and you know, ask them about their experiences and kind of get a sense of do I want to work with these types of people? And that's no a fool proof plan. And I'm I.
Certainly looked to see. And I was just talking to one of my sisters today. She used to work for this big company that we won't name, and she was mistreated really badly.
To say, whenever you say that, people are like, I think it's Chase. I think it's I'm like, it's.
Not, it's not Chase.
But you're in I'll just say that. So, so yeah, she left, like this is Tracy who is now my bomb ass publicist who has beginning me on everything that you can think of. So she was mistreated by her her direct supervisor, like really bad, so much so she developed anxiety. It just was really really bad and they did nothing to protect her. She actually was we were
talking today. She was just telling me that she went out to lunch with some of her old colleagues and they were saying how so many of them wanted to be in different roles or positions but went out to get a specific type of degree an NBA, but they didn't know that the roller the positions that they were looking for required a different type of higher level education. And if you've looked in those roles, there's no black
people in those roles. And I just I think that that's something to take note of that if you're working for a place and you think to yourself, in ten years, in five years, I'd like to be dot dot dot, but there's no one that looks like you in that role. And it's not a small company. I could see if it's like, you know, under twenty people, under thirty people, but even then but there's no one in a company of hundreds of people in that role. Girl, run run
as fast as you can. They're not interested in developing black and brown talent in that arena. You can't tell me that there's not a plethora of talented people.
Of course there are, and.
You can two. I have done this just for just to see, you know, let me see this company, and let's see who works there, and let's just do a quick scroll through profile picks exactly, or company websites where you can see who's on the board, who's at the C level, who's at the entry level.
And sometimes it's just it's just and these companies. You know what's so crazy to me that this it's this is an old kind of legacy company and I suspect it'll be floundering soon because they have just not moved with the times and they're just not connecting in the way that they used to. And when their current clientele dies off, I don't know what they're going to do because young people ain't with it and they have.
Refused to pivot, and so they lose.
Just like the supervisor that that pushed her out, they are now pushing that woman out I'm like, look, how good.
Works, don't you.
Don't y'all keep your eye on your employers sometimes just to see how things. We all have those excess but like, yes, I see someone else left after me, Like, oh I saw went down.
Yeah, Like it's funny how that worked out.
So so it's it's it's even though it's terrible that you know, you felt pushed out, it's better for your mental emotional well being to find a place. And you know, we put the we put the APB out there.
Reach out to me.
Hopefully a b a listener might have a lead for you. But you've you've done the right thing, which is to open your mouth and ask for help.
I love it all right, thank y'all so much for your questions. Don't mind the worrying behind me. That is a hot water heater that I hope will stop replenishing very soon.
Yes, and now it's time to boost or break or boost or break or boost a break.
I want to do a boosty breaky what about you, mandra.
I am going to do a boost, but you can go first, because you said you were so excited.
Yeah, start with a break, just because it's kind of like the audacity So someone wrote me today on Instagram. I'm not gonna say your name because you know, I don't want you to get dragged. She like, this is someone who's been messaging me like, oh my god, I love your message, you know, like just hitting on Instagram here and there. So she wrote me today, Hello there, I just want you to I know that I needed a breakthrough on how I looked at money. I was finally able to see it when I heard you.
Oh so nice.
But I want to be honest, I have a hard time following the black lingo you use lowercase B once.
Okay, okay, listen with her, keep going.
If you speak plain English, I can follow you. You not yo, you just the letter you because you're no black lingo and understand you fifty percent of the time. I have no idea what you are saying as it is black slang.
Girl. When I say to the audacity of Caucastidy, you know what I did. I said, black, you gonna have to get your break through someplace else, not here.
You got lots of other options who do speak your language.
Child.
Yes, I mean, first of all, I I mean obviously, yes, I'm black. I don't I mean I don't know.
I don't. I don't.
Even if I felt feel like I used a whole bunch of black slang and lingos, so what.
I don't feel like I necessarily do. Certainly do. I throw it in here and there.
But honestly, ma'am, I speak English obviously, because you got your breakthrough, okay, and now your breakthrough has been blocked. I just don't know what someone thought that you could reach out to ask me to change, to accommodate you, to accommodate you, as if you were my mother, my sister and my cousin, and even if you were the only person that I would change to accommodate, would be like a potential baby, because you don't have no choice.
Girl, you tried it.
I was roller, so you don't have to share it with In the group chat, we were flaming her.
We were all just rolling.
They're like, oh, she's gonna have to get her breakthrough from somebody else.
And someone was.
Like, if you don't understand, it's not for you. So it was just yeah, it was honest. I wasn't even I was more like mouth open, like.
Oh, she tried it.
I know she's gonna be like wait, am, I am, I blocked, you are I don't even know if she listened to.
Like a Russian boy like that. I'm just like, I'm just joking, but that the it's hard for me to compute. And I've seen, you know, I know that there's crazy you know ships that on the internet. People feel real safe out there in the internet streets. But I am shocked. I'm genuinely like she really went out of her way. And she thought she was like being polite.
She could tell a girl, you are so amazing, but girl, when you saw like a black girl, I'm.
Surprised to talk to your manager so she could I know, not too bad, that's my CEO.
So that is my break but whatever, that's a light break, my boost is I So remember last time I was having like a breakdown because I just was so overwhelmed, and I said, it's good things. But which time, I don't I know exactly, but just so many cookies, so many puppies, so many kick cookies.
Oh my bad, that was that was weird, new mom, go ahead, right, and.
So I and I remember I said that there was a woman that that emailed me a little while ago who said that she could help me to find a account a therapist, right, and so I could not remember her name. And then a brown Ambish and listener actually reached out to me and said, hey, Tiffany, you know, I know you were looking for someone. I heard you on the podcast and I'm not sure who she was, but my friend Stephanie, she's amazing and this is you know, she can help you. And I was like okay, And
then I went to Stephanie's website. It was the same woman that had reached out to me like a month ago, and I was like, so it was just I just felt like it wasn't a coincidence, you know. So Stephanie and I had a call on Friday, and I'm not gonna lie. I was exhausted and I usually take my Fridays off and I just did not feel like speaking with anyone. I was like, why did I plan this on Friday?
You know?
And so what I did was we had a call and I'm not gonna lie. It was amazing because one Stephanie herself is a therapist, and she started her company because she found that so many people they you know, that they they were misaligned with their therapists, Like are you sure that you need a therapist. Are you sure it's not a life coach or a psychiatrist or something else. And because she's a therapist herself, and she and the woman who actually wrote me thank you, shout out to you,
miss Patterson. I won't say your first thing just in case she don't want people to know, but miss Patterson, gird you have all the letters after your name.
Ed, ED, D, R, n C and Okay, I loved it. I was like, oh, I love smart bron women shed.
Exactly. So she said, you know, she's like, you know, my girl Stephanie would. So I had the call with her and she was amazing. Definitely has her master's I'm not sure and I'm assuming in psychology or psychiatry or or whatever.
So we we spoke for.
About an hour and the purpose it was basically a session, but it was a session to see what I needed and after like, you know, talking through At first, she was like, let you know some you know, just from hearing you Tippy. At first, I'm thinking, is this a life coach that you need? But as I spoke a little bit more, She's like, Nope, I see the need for some therapy here.
And I told her.
You know, one of the things that was holding me back is that I know it's going to take time to weed through and find people. I just have been too overwhelmed to do so. And she's like, no, that's why I'm here. I'm going to take stock of all. She asked me a bunch of questions and we talked, and she said, I'm going to take stock of all that you're saying.
I am going to vet.
She's like, I have a huge network, and she uses some other online channels and then she's gonna whittle it down to about two to four typically three that you know that she's after reaching out to folks, and she's gonna want me to have like fifteen minute conversations with the two to four and then rate them, and then she and I will talk again and really pick the
one that I think will be the best fit. She encourages her clients speak with have at least three sessions before saying it's not a fit, and then as you find that, you know it wasn't and we start the process again. But she herself was amazing.
Girl.
I was boohooing, Okay, yes, it was just like, yes, it was.
Either.
So her company is called navvy psyche so na b I P S y c H navvy psych and but she just her demeanor was just exactly what I needed.
I felt heard, I felt seen, and.
There were some things that I really like unlocked that I realized that like trauma, things that were I thought to myself, maybe one of the reasons that I've been feeling like out of touch with the success that's happening is because maybe it's just coming on too fast, too furious, and that's really just not it that I have built this trauma response that I've been living in this space for a long time because I don't allow myself to go too high or too low even before Budgetista, and
it's because the I'm scared of how low the low is, and so I never get to experience how high the high is because it's just trauma response from things that I came up with. And I learned not to go too too happy. No no, no no, don't get too excited, because also too no no, no no, don't get too sad.
So I have learned to live in the middle, which was helpful during those traumatic times, but it's enabling me from feeling the fullness of joy, because life honestly has never been better, not just on paper but in real life. Like my husband is awesome and amazing and so supportive. I've never been closer with my sisters. My parents and I were never super duper close, but now we're so much better. My niece and my nephew lived down the street, and that's like the light and highlight of my life.
And I just things are good. And then I'm obviously professionally y'all know things are good, but like personally too, like I've gotten rid of all of the toxic relationships. I don't have any toxic friends anymore. They're all gone. And so the fact that I've not been able to feel it, I kin it to losing your sense of taste and smell. I know that life right now is delicious, and I can't taste it.
I can see it.
I'm like, I know this stays so good, but I can't taste it. And she said, mm hm, that's a trauma response that you taught yourself, and that's okay.
She's like, someone can help you unlearn it.
You know, when I it really clicked for me, Mandy, when we had the our Rich Journey people on Christina and aman So the level of joy in their voice.
I thought, oh, maybe that's because I'm just working two hard as a bunch. He said, no, it wasn't.
Something about them triggered me because I said, what's the last time you felt that level of joy even though joyful things are happening, Tiffany, and I realized, what is the last time I felt that like level of joy even though joyful things are happening. And that's when I realized something else is amiss. And so yeah, so I'm just excited because I cannot wait. I don't want to wait ten years. And it wasn't always like this. I
have built up this resistance to feeling over time. The only time I don't kind of feel like this is that's why I see my niece and my nephew so often, because it's like the one time.
That my guard is down.
And I because she said, because kids have a way of disarming all of your foolishness.
They're like, girl, I don't want to hear that play with me.
You are Daniel Tiger and I am whatever the owl's name is, you know. And so that's one of the few times I'm in the moment feeling the joy. That's why I see them like darnier every day. I feel like, but yeah, it was just I feel so good about it. I I told her, I don't have any hang ups about therapy. I had a therapist in college, and I think it's healthy and great. I just I wasn't putting myself first as far as, like you know, making the time to find someone.
And so now I'm excited that I'm.
Getting help, and I'm just so excited about it because I'm like, yes, yes, I want to taste the food that's before me.
I don't want to be eighty years old like ito.
I used to be in the best food and I never got a chance to really taste it.
Yes, I'm so happy for you because this is everything being able and this is something and it's not just you either. A lot of people struggle with gratitude in the moment and feeling the success and feeling like you have permission to be happy, and it's like you've earned right to be happy and to really enjoy the fruits of your labor. And I'm so proud of you.
Finally she got up there.
I'm so honestly just thank y'all be it because it wasn't. If it wasn't for Ms Patterson that sent me that like email, and then Stephanie who reached up prior to that, I don't I don't know that I would have made the leap because it just seemed so daunting to find somebody on my own. I just already felt like I was drowning. So just I feel so excited because honestly too, because these I'm still I have one more last hurrah with IVF and I'm not gonna lie. This round of
medicines they have me on is a doozy. I mean, I was jumping for joy for the election and then I burst into tears and.
I'm like, why are you crying? Is just joyful tears. They weren't hormones, And the poor Superman was looking at me and he was like, you just took your shot, didn't you. And I was like, oh, I did that.
When I give you a hug, he did, Would.
I tell you these hormones?
I was like, because literally I was like, yeah, I don't know, I'm crying. He was like, Babe, like I'm yeah, these hormones, Oh my gosh. So that definitely like what I liked about Stephanie two said she's going to look for therapists that have women that they've worked with that
are gone through the IVF process. She said, because honestly, Tiffany, that plays a role in how you feel obviously too, So I want someone that's going to help you descend it, discern like you know, what's actually your feeling versus what's being triggered by the increased amount of hormones in your body as a result of IVF.
So it was just, yes, manager, thank.
You so much for like cause you put that battery in my back and I was like, I'm going to reach out and ask for help, and now I'm getting it, getting it.
I mean, I knew when you weren't happy because you were on GMA. I was like, it's about time, Tiffany. If you're not going to enjoy these gifts, can I have something? No, I'm kidding, and I agree. I think
for me the past year and the reason. So it's like you're somewhere in between, like Tiffany, you know, in the middle and like Mandy running in the streets with joy, Like somewhere in the middle is rancer a good place to be is but that level of joy that I literally dance and I felt so invigorated ever since I
got back to work since maternity leave. And I don't think it was I think I'm ready to acknowledge that it's been having like it's been the baby, and it's been therapy, and it's been just all of these things
kind of this confluence of events. And you're so right about you know, children and whether you know it's your an auntie or an uncle or a god a godmother or a godfather or cousin, whatever, children really do like I do feel like my capacity for joy and my willingness to show it because it makes you vulnerable, like right like when I was little, I never used to smile people who meet me or see me on social media. Now I legit have gotten messages from people like who
is this person? I thought, like, you're not the person I knew in high school or and you know it will really in college, I started opening up. But it's it's a willingness to be vulnerab and it's and it's something that I really had to It's a muscle I've had to flex and flex and flex. It's like I will now go into an empty dance floor and dance
mostly without needing alcohol to lubricate my my confidence. Ask anyone who came to my cousin's wedding two years ago anyway, but anyway, and I mean, I'm there and I think there's no time to waste. We need to like latch onto the joy. And I'm so happy for you because you deserve to feel it, you deserve.
To taste it. Yes, I cannot wait. I'm just like, yeah, so.
And even just doing it, it sounds like you sound lighter already, like I do.
I feel it? Because I didn't know what was wrong. I was like, am I doing something wrong? Do I not like the buttonista? Do I?
I mean, I'm like, I don't think that's it, because I don't feel unhappy.
I just feel like, oh this is this food is great?
Yeah, okay, like because I mean, honestly, I things would happened and people would say like, aren't you upset by that? Like the last IVF cycle it didn't go well, And I was explaining it to a front and she said, you're talking about like a math problem.
Like it's okay to be sad tifany I was like, well, you know, it happens.
She's like yeah, but and so that's what it clicked too, because I'm like, hmm, your lows are not really low, which it's okay for them for you to be upset, but your highs are not really high.
What's going on? Tifny, Like you know you're there's.
Something happening here where you you should legitimately be sad. It's okay to be sad and disappointed, and you're not. It's not not even that I'm not just saying it, I'm not feeling it, you know. And so like I said, she's like, that's protective. That's something you learn to do, and you have to learn a new way because you're not that little girl anymore that you know where you
created that system for yourself. So for those of you who are listening for certain, for certain, for certain, if you're you know, like it's hard to like, I mean, there are there's is it?
Black girl? What is the if you're looking for a black therapist therapy for black girls? Mm hmm, the therapy for black girls.
But also too, like I said, nav navvy psych if you're if you're just like I don't even know where to start, and I want to pay someone to help. We do the therapist cycle for me. Stephanie, like I said, she herself was a therapist and was just absolutely amazing. I wanted to be like, are you gonna be my therapist? I can tell she was like, girl, don't get attached, nap and I'm here.
I'm going to direct you. But yeah, so what about you?
What is your boostie? Oh lord, I forgot all about that. We were in this segment. I need to have a boost. I do have a boost, It's on paper. Let me get my handy dandy notebook. Oh I don't need it because I remember ninety one. Well, first of all, black women is my boost? Just black women in general. I am so proud of us US us US. I talked about every relative, you know, badgery relatives to vote in Georgia. Every last one of them that I talked to was
a black woman. My cousins and my aunt. My dad, on the other hand, tried to get to the great uncles, great uncles who are so cynical and listen, they have every right to be. They grew up in a very different Atlanta than the one that we have today. But anyway, the black men and my family were just just not as likely not as receptive to the call to action, but black women have so. I mean, but it's not
just this election cycle. For generations, for decades, black women have been there fighting even before we had the right to vote, still fighting for it, even though we didn't get it first. It was all women first, White women first, and then you know, black women later. But I just wanted to shout us out. Ninety one percent, no other demographic voted more in the direction of Biden and Kamala Harris than black women beat black men. I mean, I can go down the line. Although black men were right
behind black women. I know people are making a lot out of the fact that there was an increase in black men who voted for Trump, but they still were the second most likely. Black people in general, by and large, saved Joe Biden this election. And I can say that with my full chest because we see the numbers and this sliver tiny margins in these cities. So ninety one percent of Black women, thank you, thank you, thank you, And we actually see someone who looks like us in
the White House. And those seeing Kamala on that stage when she gave her acceptance speech with her family and her nieces. Oh my God with the little cute white dresses and the white the little like poofs in their hair, it matters. And I just thank all of y'all, and I'll keep it short and sweet because I this is
I just feel like I've been talking NonStop. But thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you Tiffany, And I'm so grateful for this show and for every for every woman black woman out there who has been fighting where I think we're finally getting the recognition that we deserve and I'm glad to be here for it.
Yeah.
No, I just it does feel really good. And to be called out on the on the national stage. You know, normally they would just not do that. You would do all of this and you wouldn't be recognizing right to be seen, to be heard. And now it's time for game time. I saw that Petresa, the co founder of Black Lives Matter, I think via the New York Times, has penned the letter or Washington Post pen the letter to you know, President elect Joe Biden to say, Okay, we helped you get here.
Here's what we're wanting.
Yes, here's our commands, and you've got to hold them accountable from it. Just Joe Biden. Every look up who represents you in Congress. They check their email, they read their mail. You need to contact your elected officials and vote for them. We need to come collect on what we were. You know why we voted for them.
Because here's the thing, they are now very very clear that we play an active role in who who puts butts in seats? And so you know, it's been on a world stage now where they're like, oh, this is no longer. Oh we don't have to no, no, no, no, you do you do or you know, no one says we have to continue to vote in this and vote block in this way.
Yep, amen to that, and thank you to Black Lives Matter and just black magic everywhere. I'm so you had us going, You had us going real good. We were real we were real stressed. We didn't know what else was going to end, but we ended up being our own heroes in the end. And yes, that's what I love about it. Again, you didn't have to wear a cape or you know, be you just you just had to vote, and we just got to keep voting. I'll never I'll never ever ever forget the past four years.
I just it's It's burned into my into my DNA, and I hope it will just be inherited by every if I'm lucky enough to have more offspring. But just like Rio and all of his descendants, I hope that they remember the same way I will.
Yeah, remember remember, I'm not gonna lie. It's like.
And thank you, James Weird. I just whatever, Thanks y'all for listening.
Yeah, we love y'all.
See y'all next week without my notepad, maybe