Ep 240 - Put Your Money Mask On

Mandra, Do you know what I need? I need to walk in these streets in my BA swag. You know what I'm really looking forward to? First of all, be your own Brown Boost. What an awesome phrase. I cannot wait to wear that on my chest like Superman. What I'm really excited for, though, is I am a sweatshirt and like hoodie girl. So the classic Brown Ambition logo sweatshirt has my name all over it.

But where can I go? Where can I find it?

I was hoping you would ask Young Tiffany. Tiffany, get your Brown Ambition swag at Brown Ambitionstore dot com. Five years in the game, we finally have merch for you guys. So get your Brown Ambition hoodie, your Brown Ambition crew neck tea, get a onesie for your littles. We got toddler teas. Oh my goodness, there's something for everyone. Be your own Brown Boost T shirt for sure. We have a Brown Ambition mug, which my family is most excited about.

Oh you know, I'm the budgetish to write any special offer.

Oh I'm also very glad you asked that question, Tiffany. Yes, with Brown Ambition fifteen. That's promo code Brown Ambition fifteen all one word, you can get fifteen percent off your order at Brown ambitionstore dot com.

I can't wait to see y'all in these BA streets repping bapam with your BA swag.

Hey, Hey we're back, We're black, We're Brown Ambition.

Hey, Pandla, how are you? Hey? Tiff doing good hanging in there? Eight more days?

I know my math right for Wednesday. I don't know it's Monday, right now? Do the math very now?

Six more days you're listening to this? Oh my god.

No, I am not happy with Superman because I had my paper ballots. I ordered it ahead of time. I had it, and he decided he was going to quote unquote help me because I told myself I wasn't gonna put it in the envelope and lick it and whatever until I was really sure I did what I was supposed to do because I didn't want to make any mistakes.

Why did they try to be helpful? No, honestly I was.

I didn't know whether to laugh or scream. I was like, why did you watch you touch my ovelop? He's like, and then he was like he was all chill a bat like, oh my babbabe, I thought i'd put your own ballot and an envelope.

I didn't. It's empty, but I lickd it so it's closed.

Oh so there was nothing in it? He says, an empty ballot?

Yes, And I said, sir, He's like, we could just get you another one. That's how that works. That side, that's not how So now I'm trying to see, like what early voting looks like Jersey, if there's a place to go, or if I'm just gonna have to go vote on election day? Yay dot com his ballot is? I mean, I said, why touch mine? Why not mess up yours?

You know?

So yeah, he's like, I mean, I I'm sorry. So I was just literally ragging him about it again this morning because he did it like like a couple of days ago.

But I mean, it is what it is. I mean, I'm going to vote I have to vote.

It is not an option, but I just definitely was like excited that I could, you know, just like drop it. I wasn't even gonna drop it in the mailbox. I was going to drop it in like the special voting you know boxes. Yea to be on the super safe side. So those dreams are shattered.

So you know, he might have just cost you hours of your life because exactly, it took me four hours to vote early yesterday in my county.

But you can go to iwill Vote dot com. Is it dot com or dot org?

I think it's dot com and they have all the information about voting early. I didn't realize this is a new thing for New York. I'm in New York state, you're in Jersey. But in New York they this was like the first election I don't know about ever, but definitely not in twenty sixteen. You couldn't vote early. It just seems so basic, you know, giving us the option to vote a little bit early. But everybody and their mama went to vote this weekend, and there weren't that

You have nothing to do, but people watch, like even if they don't say anything, they're going to see our logo anyway.

So I was rocking my BA swag and four hours later I finally finally got to vote.

I hope it is not that long for you. I really do, yes, I mean, how may we'll see? I shall see, yeah, I mean I hopefully.

I mean I've been I voted there for like the last like well two years or whatever, so it hasn't been crazy. The last time I voted, like in the midterm elections, it wasn't too too bad. I'm just hoping that, you know, I'll go there super early and then you know, it is what it is. Either way I'm doing. There's no yep, it's no differens or bucks. And I think I'm actually going to drag him be like, oh no, you're standing with me. I know you would be paper valid You're coming.

That is too funny.

I posted on Insta in Twitter about the four hour wait and the like The most common comment I got was, oh, the poor You know, people who are elderly, are disabled, they have to wait that longe can't believe that, Actually they don't at least I mean, I think this is pretty standard for all polling locations. But if you are disabled or you have an elderly relative, don't let them think that they have to stand up and wait, because I know that will dissuade a lot of elderly voters

Oh yeah, it's worth it, Like literally, it's so worth it.

I mean, I've all, you know, elections always feel a little bit anxious, but obviously this is more anxious than anything any other elections.

You know, It's so crazy.

I've never seen this push for voting ever in my I don't even know what. Twenty years or twenty something years of being able to vote everywhere you turn, it's like.

Okay, vote those who forget to vote. Now everywhere you I mean everywhere you go.

You can't be on Instagram, you can't be on Facebook, you can't be on stuff, you can't tick talk, you can't anything without it being like, so I vote it.

So that I wish I could tell Mark Zuckerberg, I did it leave me alone?

Now it's like pop ups. Yeah, oh my god, it's good though.

I the it's you know, it did have this Like I was a little pissed because I got there early and I waited four hours and it was about an out, like three hours into my four hour wait when like the mister's the mister softy truck pulled up, and then the barbecue truck pulled up, and I was like, oh, now you're gonna have a party when I'm almost done. Like it was, it was pretty funny. People started playing music.

Just don't want to.

I take it seriously that you're not supposed to influence or try to influence anyone before you go vote. It just to me, it's like a sacred process. I don't want and but people work pretty loudly, like and I come from a progressive county, so people were pretty you know, bashing Trump blatantly in the line anyway, but it felt very like festive and that was nice. It's nice to see that people are doing it genuinely because they're excited

It is the biggest thing you can do right now. I mean, and just at the end of the day, you know, oh what.

I just realized the next time we're well, no, we're going to record before election day? Okay, how are we going to do that. We're gonna We're going to be recording in a different world than I know the Wednesday after. Okay, we'll figure it out on Monday.

My heart just felt like, am I gonna talk to you before what?

I know?

I know it is going to be like.

Listen, I need some serious I had to call my my my shrink do they call them shrinks whatever, call my therapist, and I was like, the stress dreams are returned. Learning my anxiety is like it's creeping back up there all because of this damn election.

It's just the anticipation. Yeah, yeah, I've just been so.

Busy and it's just been like definitely stuff on the Budgetissa's front has definitely like ticked up. So it's just been like overwhelming, overwhelming, over I actually had I was like, is this a panic attack? And I actually called my friend a Vida and I saw her. She had posted

What's going on to me? Because it was, I mean, nothing bad.

I mean aside from you know, the world was on fire, but I'm talking about as far as internally it was happening. Like it's not like anyone is sick. If anything, I've actually felt you know what it felt like. I felt like I told somebody that I really like kittens, and then they gave me thirty in that case, yes, like you know, it just felt so over like it's a good thing, but I don't I don't know that I can manage all these good things.

It's just too much. It's and I don't want to even say too much.

And then if I'm not being grateful, I just so I just it was like every ten minutes, I feel like I was bursting into tears.

I'm like, it's pretty I think this is anxiety.

I called the beat it and she said, well, how do you know if you're I told her, I think I'm having an anxiety attack, and she's like, well, what makes you think that, I said, because I'm crying right now.

I'm crying right now. What we're talking. It's just like, oh, okay, so yeah, I mean so, And I realized it was just me.

It was not just but it was definitely feeling overwhelmed because as I started to take things off my plate, like there are some things that were upcoming that would do so as I started to complete those things, I

Oh, I mean I've always been I've coped with anxiety in my whole life. Like I remember being a little kid and not being able to sleep, and as an adult, I can recognize, oh, I was a super anxious child. I was always like if my mom and I had a fight and she went to the grocery store, I'd be like, oh, she may never come back, and I would just, you know, stay up all night waiting. Anyway, as an adult, I've coped with it pretty well. But when I had my baby, oh yeah, it was really really difficult.

So I think I've been transparent too.

I had already been in therapy before I had the baby, because I kind of felt like I might need to get myself situated and I'm so grateful that I did. And then even therapy wasn't enough, and then around I don't know, early in the year, I started taking an anti anxiety medication that's been very helpful to me. But even that, like lately, you know, it's not a silver bullet. And I continue to go to therapy weekly, and I also have a psychiatrist that I check in with about monthly.

Anyway.

All that is to say, I'm still on my journey with anxiety. And while she did, we didn't change my anti anxiety medication. But I am going to start going back on this little, uh, just a small dose of something to help me sleep at night while I need it because I can't function when I don't sleep, Like it's bad for everybody. But I also recently, in the past two weeks, have started to do a sleep meditation at night.

I have an app. It's actually for me too, me too as calm. Do you do Calm?

I don't do Calm because I I realize Peloton offers all these different meditations, so and I already pay for it. So although calm is not that expensive, what is it? Like? I almost got calm early in the in the pandemic. It was like what sixty bucks, yeah or something like that,

I was like, what spell has she this woman put on me? Because I would just drop off to sleep within fifteen minutes. It doesn't stop me from like waking up with the like sweats and stuff, but it helps me get to sleep. So meditation kind of sort of is working.

But listen, I don't have any particular answers, but I do completely know exactly what that feels like. And I'm sorry that you're going through that. I really am.

Yeah, I feel much much, much, much much better now because a lot of the thing that were so overwhelming I've done. I've checked it off the list, but I'm just like, I don't want to go back there, so do I make sure I don't like? And it's hard because it's like, honestly, it's nothing. It'd be one thing if it was like, oh gosh, I have to do this thing I hate. It's like, oh my gosh, that's an amazing opportunity. Oh my god, that's another man hold on.

Jarel?

So it's more so bad I like it until like when me and Jerrell first got like when we actually were like standing up to get married. I remember I thought I was going to throw up. I wanted to like run away because I was. You know, the feeling I felt, and I feel kind of now, is that there is a huge transition happening, and I'm kind of afraid of it, even though I know it's a good thing. Like I knew I wanted to marry you, I said, dull, but whatever you I'll be nosy anyway, Superman, I knew.

I wanted to marry Superman, and I did.

I mean, we've been dating for a number of years, but I also knew, okay, we're getting married. We're stepping from one place to the next. It's like the difference between going from sixth grade to seventh grade, So what still in middle school, but you go from eighth grade to ninth grade still a year, but now you're in

I just gotten really comfortable where we were before. So it's more so that.

Yeah, but I mean, I don't know, I'm saying, you're We haven't talked about your coach in a while.

Oh, yes, I decided to bring him on for a year. M M okay, what do they have to say about it? I forget if it's a hero he he I didn't even because so we we it's been like a month and a half, so we're actually like working out like the contract. So but I'm bringing him on for a year. We haven't had this.

We talked about it a little bit, and he definitely tells me that like I hold back too much like so many women, and that like I need to like step into my dopeness. He's like, it's okay, tifany to say you're this shit. Sometimes I'm like, ah, don't say that. I'm nice, Like it's kind.

So that's part is really hard.

But so that's those were conversations we used to have earlier, so we have not so it was a three month contract, but it was it went so well, I said, let's do it for a year. But like, there's there's components to work out. So although we've had kind of like light conversations, we're waiting to like sign before we start back up again. What I like, it's not just me coaching with him, it's also him his team also integrates into my team, just like before.

So I'm excited about what that looks like.

But yeah, so, like I said, it's just it's just I'm I was a kid in school that sometimes got bees on purpose because a's brought too much attention, oh you know what I mean. And not attention meaning like from the teacher, but too much I won't, you know, the wrong way.

Attention. Expectation, Yeah, expectation, yes.

Because I remember when I got straight a's for the first time. My dad was like, hey, so you can get it. I don't want anything else, And I was like, oh the pressure.

I feel like the stakes are high. You're afraid to fail to fail.

But yes, and also too, like what if it don't really work out like people are expecting.

I kind of like being like underdog Tiffany, I'm.

Just you know, I'm doing at scrappy Tiffany, you know, but then now it's like, oh, your mainstream Tiffany, Well, of course you're going to do that.

That's it. So I don't know.

I just think that I'm just struggling with the transition because it's the end of the beginning and it's the beginning of the middle. And it's very clear that that's what's happening with the things that are happening, like like, you're no longer and I'm not. I mean, we're ten years old, so we're not like, I guess, a startup as far as, like you know, years in, but it's more so it's a we have a officially elevated to

I want to make a list ten million dollars.

And I was like a year ago, we're there now, and I'm like, okay, and that's just with one business, and so.

It just it. You know, there are people who work for me. This is all they do. Many people who work for me, this is all they do.

So there's that too of like making sure, like, you know, we've never been late with payroll, and we're not going to be, you know. I mean, I I'm I have six months worth of savings in one company and then like three and a half four months worth of savings in another, and similar in another.

So I'm always really mindful of things like that. But it's just I used to be a pre school teacher, you know, and so sometimes I'm just like.

Ah, I'm still figuring it out, and so yeah. So but I also have learned. One thing I've learned through all this is to lean into help around me. So I've gotten much better at that. So yeah, I think people think that because you've reached a certain level, you figured it out. I don't know anything. Every every day I'm like, I think, so let's try it. Everybody on my team knows that I'm gonna let's try it and see what's the worst that can happen. As long as

I'm like, well, girl, switch the Collins. What the hell cares? I don't care, but we can always switch it back, you know.

So yeah, I guess it's just it's it's growing pains, and you know, because of good. Like I said, good things are happening, But it's just it's a it's a space that I dreamt of before you ever dream of something. It's like you wanted that Nintendo, but you don't think your mom's really gonna get you a Nintendo, and then you get it and you're like, wait, what, I'm actually getting a Nintendo.

It's real life. And so that's the space of men.

Like I said, it really grateful, you know, but also sometimes like you know, overwhelmed because I also know that there's more to come, and then there's more expectations that come along with that.

Well, I part of me feels like, you it's time to get like a mental hype person, someone who can help you deal as these opportunities come your way. And I guess I also feel like, you know, whether that's a therapist or like to you know, maybe it's this business coach that you have, But I'm like someone I like, I know there are incredibly like who coaches Serena Williams, like who helps her when she's feel because I know she feels probably doubts herself, Like who is that? You know?

But I also feel like.

Your willingness to to your willingness to say I don't know, but I'll try it is also the reason you've been successful and will continue to be successful. And part of me is just like, and you're kind of I can hear you listing out the facts, the reasons, the logic of why you know you're doing well, And I just feel like, whenever you're having those doubts, just hit your self with the logic. Like literally, ten years of work has shown that you are more than capable and you've earned,

Boost or can we talk about it now? Your GMA segment, Oh, that was gonna be my boost.

Okay, we can save that, we can save it, we can save it. Let's save that a little, uh for your boost you guys later on, stay tuned, and Tiffany will give us all the behind the scenes on her GMA debut.

Yes, but all in all, though I don't know if you were listening to I was like, uh, listening to like a video that Jeffrey from Minority Mindset on YouTube put out, and just like, how there's just this real It's weird because it doesn't feel like we're in a recession, but that so many people in financial high places, if you will, are just like, although it doesn't feel bad, that it is bad and we won't feel the effects until later. What do you think about that?

I just real gears, which was all the gears, Yes, economy got it.

I'm just I think that's free.

I was just like, you know what, I've been feeling like that, honestly since the very beginning. I have people are kind of like walking around willy nilly, and I'm like, I I think I was telling my sister today, I'm like, don't get too crazy, miss I just went for a SPA treatment and this and that, like make sure you have your savingsquirrel, I don't. I mean, yes, you know, maybe maybe everything will be fine, but you don't throw a stone in the water and there not be a ripple.

I mean, I feel like we put a nuclear bomb in the water and that's the coronavirus pandemic.

Yeah, I've every every good thing financially that's happened in career wise, this year has been a real blessing from my perspective. But at the on the on the other side, I do feel very much like the squirrel squirreling away nuts or the grasshopper, No, the grasshopper was the one who didn't who's sing all summer anyway, whatever, I do

I can't. I can't.

There is so much uncertainty. I yeah, I kind of envy people who can walk through the world like la la la lads, toddlers and like really rich white guys because everything's great, everything's fine.

I think a lot.

There's a lot to be grateful for. And I think one of the things that requires, you know, no therapy, no medication in terms of battling anxiety is to focus on things you're grateful for and happy about and focus on positive things. And I some days I'm better at that than most, but I just try to stay positive and stick to the plan.

Yeah, and that's all we can't do, but I definitely want people to. It's almost like with the pandemic and everybody's kind of like outside chilling. It's like sis, really

Youth and foolishness.

So if you are doing decent right now, you have an opportunity to basically put your mask on, tighten your belt, and so that way, if something does come your way, you have something to lean back on. I just don't want people to pass up on that opportunity because everyone doesn't have it. There's some people who are struggling right now, they're not having to wait.

They're there now. Yes, absolutely, I one hundred percent agree. Put your physical mask and your financial mask on.

I love that. Put your money mask on.

Yes, Oh I love that. Oh that's a good one for it. I think that's a good title. Put joint money mask on. Save trim expenses. I am quite proud. Childcare is like the one silver lining. I mean, it's also like the best and worst thing about this year has been had we did not have to spend two thousand dollars a month on daycare for Rio, which we would have had to do probably around May. Can you how many months has it been? Eight times to sixteen thousands?

On the other hand, I have had to figure out how to be a mom during the workday, which is meat. But you know, we haven't paid for childcare until now. We are a family friend of ours is going to be moving in with us to help with the baby, and we're but it's still a lot, a lot lot less than you know, we're spending on daycare.

So that's one. But with that money, I'm kind of like we need to be saving that much money a month anyway, but also looking for ways to trim expenses and just to keep saving and investing. And you're right, don't get too comfortable.

I don't think. I just don't think I'm mentally capable of being that. I don't know, just that nonchalant about things. I just don't think that's part of my DNA.

No it's not.

It's not not mine either, But I know that well, not anymore because I've learned that lesson. But I know I know what it is to feel comfortable. Human beings are like, you know, when things are good, oh they always be good. When things are bad, oh they always be bad. So I just wanted to make sure that if you are fortunate enough where things are decent to what I do is keep what I call squirrel energy.

Are bad, pumps apparently, yes, raggedy squirrels, right.

And then but when things are bad, squirrels anticipate that one day things might turn alone left, and you know they do. They're like, you know what, that's why I put up during good times, and I think just just reminding I always remind myself that that, like squirrels are super smart, and that they enjoy the good times but also put up during the good time, so that way they can they can, you know, they can hibernate.

And and wait out the bad times.

And so I just encourage you to do that if you're like I said, if you're because some people they've already lost their jobs, they've already they're already trying to figure out how they're gonna play more their mortgage. They're already there now. So if you're fortunate that you're not there, don't take it for granted.

A men, sister, friend, is it time for my favorite time? Questions? Is that what you're asking? Cool questions?

Yeah, let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with y'all questions. Okay, guys, we are back with your questions again. Hit us up on Instagram. We're at Brown Ambition Podcast, or you can also email us directly Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com with your question.

Interesting question. She said a couple of months away, A couple of years? Did I say months? I met? She says years, A couple of years away, retired from retiring. I mean that's difficult, I know, because a couple means let's say five.

Let's just for this, for this, for this examples sake, Let's say five, because my I have well, my dad, my dad is sixty and I keep thinking about what is his retirement plan? And he's, you know, he hasn't he opened a four to one K, but not that that long ago target date fund. I don't even know if they. I mean, you've listen. There's no rules about target date funds, Like if you wanted to go and open up a target date fund for like twenty twenty five,

And I'll say this that ideally, if you're going to enter into an investment, that you have at least five years to kind of see something come to fruition.

But there's a couple of things.

One in retirement as in like if you think like I'm just you know, I'm not going to work anymore, or is it that you know, like I'm not going to work at that job, But it doesn't mean like, you know, I really like I don't know, teaching kids

I mean unless something crazy.

What if they're a person who has this is this is also something that I've personally, you know, had people in my family like this. They have a bunch of money in cash but have never invested it and maybe

Which could be fair?

You know, No, you're right, because honestly, if I had not found a Julie my financial planner, then that would be me with all this money sitting in a safe as account because I was terrified of making a mistake like I did the first time I started investing.

So that's that's very feasible. Well, then yes, you want to I would.

I would put in something conservative to Mandy's point, if I probably would still leave myself. Let's just say you are someone I'll probably leave myself with six months twenty years worth of emergency fund and then put the rest in a passive so a low something with a low Uh what is that thing called expense ratio? Yes, expense ratie,

So I probably just.

Put it in an expense a low expensor ratio index fund, like maybe like some S and P five hundred index fund or something like that, or a total market index fund. But I'm not your financial advisor or planner or whatever, So this is just what I would do for Tiffany and then and then you know, rock out and see like what happens at least to start. But yeah, and it's always best to help your money grow money money to me, not to me. In just general, money is like a tree or plant. It is a If it's

And you know, God, do your background check and all of that. But you know, when we say index fund, there's different types of index funds. I mean you could put your money into a bond index fund with bonds. They're backed by the US government, which means that they're

Mm hmm. Your coding is. But that was good perspective, mandra about like maybe they have a ton of money and.

It's just they just glass half full. Yeah, but it's still here's the thing. People work, you know, like they if you enjoy what you do, you know you don't.

You don't. I don't plan on sitting down.

I mean unless I get sat down, I you know, just because I've already basically reached financial independence, I guess you could say, and so I.

But I enjoy working. I enjoy what that looks like.

So certainly you can continue to work to support yourself, but also you can enjoy the work as well, so don't feel bad about that.

Yeah, let's take another question. This is from the opposite end of the age spectrum, and it kind of just shows you the wide range of ages who listen to our show, which is kind of amazing. This comes from Instagram user. Her name is Aliah Ailiah, which I think she spelled phonetically so that I could say it, which means she doesn't want to be anonymous. Ya Aliyah, thank you for your question. Aliah, she says, due to my

Oohoo, Aliah. So she's in school, she has stipends leftover.

Some refunds, some stipends from the school, so she's got some cash sitting in the bank and is wanting to know if we have suggestions. She's nineteen trying to set herself up for success later.

Well, I would say, first and foremost, Aliyah, just to have your little emergency fund stash, you know, like three months is okay? Six months is better of like your basic beer bowls expenses. So I like to I don't when I think of emergency funds, I don't think like, oh, three months of how much I make, I'm like, no, no. If I had to drop down and get my noodle on with my noodle budget, which is just your if you had to eat ramen noodle's budget, if you had to get real cheap budget, how much.

Is that that does that life cost me?

Because my assumption is if you lose your income, you should be dropping down to that budget anyway. So multiply that time three, multiply that time six, and if that money is enough, if it's just barely enough to cover that, then that was it. That's all I would do. I know people don't like to hear save, but that's your first line defense should something happen. And then if you have money outside of that lee I would. I wonder did she say if she's working, she's just in school.

She does not mention if she's working or not.

Well, if you were working, I would probably If it was me, I would probably see if I could start a raw FIRA and start putting money aside if I was working, because earlier you could start is setting aside and investing for retirement.

The better.

If you're not working, you can certainly just open up a regular investment account. There's no tax advantage there, but you know, you could start to set aside of money, like we shared with the other young woman earlier about looking into putting money to set aside, like in an index fund. Or you can start your target date fund, which we've talked about many times on the show. Because you're so young, it will be aggressively invested, and if you didn't know how to do anything, you can.

If you put your money in the target.

Day fund and say, hey, I plan on retiring in forty years, it would invest very aggressively for now, for you for now, and then the older the culture you got to retirement, it become more and more conservative.

So that's what I would do.

I would save retirement if I'm working, and then invest for wealth if I'm not working.

I love it. I agree wholeheartedly. You're so young, sounds like you're probably early into your college career too. I think you want to have some savings in the bank just as a cash cushion. I mean, you're also going to graduate, and you know, I really hope that there's a better job market by the time you graduate, but let's say there isn't. You'll have that cash cushion and look up all the different you know, when you get

But you're on the right track. Nineteen years old and listening to Brown Ambition, which awesome?

Could it get any more like the spectrum there nineteen years old in college versus someone who's close to retirement and wanting to invest. Yeah, love it. Thank you guys so much for your questions. They are the best part about doing this show again. Hit us up on Instagram at Brand Ambission Podcast. You can send us a DM there and I will re them and sometimes I respond, and also our email Brand Ambitionpodcast at gmail dot com dot.

All Right, ready for a boost and break.

It's time to booster a breaker, Booster break or boo boo boo boost but book break break? So I know you said you kind of have a break. Do you want to breakfast or boot first? Or should I boost first before you break?

I don't know what do you what do you want? Do you want me to go first or do you want to go because I'm ready either way.

If if you're gonna boo, if you're gonna break, I say, maybe go first to stuff. We can end up a lighter note. If you're going to boost, then we can. It doesn't matter.

I'm gonna okay. If people are confused, all right, let me just get into it. So today, oh man, this man makes me so uncomfortable to look at it.

Don't know why.

But Jared Kushner, Uh, if you don't know who he is, he is Avonka Trump's husband, and he is I don't know, He's got some crazy title in the White House. He's basically like Trump's one of Trump's right hand men. And he got on Fox News today and decided to talk about you know, Obama or not Obama.

Oh my goodness, what is happening with my mind right now? Trump?

Trump likes to say that he has done more for black people than anyone since Abraham Lincoln. Okay, we don't need you don't need us to fact check that for you. Anyhow, Kushner was on Fox News of all places, and decided to imply that he doesn't think black people want to be successful. And he was essentially saying, you know, we can't want them to be more successful than they want to be successful, which is extremely condescending and problematic on

He did not have the greats nor the SAT scores, but what his parents did do was donut. I think it was two point five million dollars to Harvard. So here's the thing.

And his dad also went to jail just saying, look it.

Up it what's so crazy to me? And I know we're preaching to like the Briannabish and choir. Here is that preach there is If Jared don't have nothing else, he has the audacity, the white male privileged audacity. You really believe that you are special, that somehow you are where you are because you are smart, that you work hard, that you put yourself in that position. It's just categorically not true. You couldn't even get into college without your

And if you if I placed.

You any place else in the world with less, you would come out. You would not come out the same place where you are now. Those people who like the the Gentleman's sweet that you read l all the grit, all of the the consistency, all the work that he had to do to get where he is. He earned that spot. And so I'm not surprised, you know, I'm just you know, it's just more of the same. Honestly, I I've learned not to. It's so easy to go

Really good news.

Well you know, I'm gonna say it. I have really good news. So it's funny because uh, I was. I was speaking at Big Brother's Big Sister. No, yeah, Big

I think that's like C three.

But they have her down for C two, which is an older house that has wear and tear.

Oh, I'll tell you why. Racism. So when I.

Got that report back from the New York Times after their investigative report, then I was like, Tiffany.

You're even doing it to yourself. Were You're like, well, maybe I'm making too much of be a deal about it.

So anyway, I was telling her that, and I felt so bad because I felt like I was bringing that anger with me during my during my speech, and I just say all that to say.

That it can be. So what can you do?

You know?

And I said, I was like, the only thing you could do is like write a damn law. I can't write laws. And don't you know that day the angel Angelavie McKnight, who you might remember her from the Budget Nesta laws. She is the assembly woman of in Jersey City who reached out to me and said, I want to I want to write a law about education and about financial education, and we work together to create the budget Neiste Law, which makes it mandatory for middle school students to learn.

Financial education in school.

She said, I've been following your story about you, posting about you know, how you know, like what happened to you and in your home and how this is this is a pandemic and an epidemic for black and brown people, and how their homes are under praise. She said, I want to write a law. Can you imagine many? I literally just said there's nothing I could do. I can't make a law, and.

She's like, let's make a law. I was like, wait what?

So she actually set me something to read. I hope I'm not preemptively but whatever, I mean, it's going to be public soon.

But that finally something to do.

I hate this Jared Kushner thing because I feel like there's nothing to do there. He's an idiot, and I mean literally not just an idiot because he said it, he's an idiot. He didn't get it too. Harvard's he's an idiot, you know. So I but there's nothing, there's no place.

To push that energy.

But here I can proactively say, I'm going to work on this law with Angela. I'm going to make it illegal for you to appraise someone's house lower because of their race or gender or anything else. And then I'm going to blast that law anywhere, so anywhere. Unfortunately, right now I'm only i only have access here to New Jersey. But I'm letting everyone know if your appraising, you'll come to the house and he on that bullshit, Okay, let

See, I feel like they count on our and they count on our cynicism, they count on the you know, the like people in my neighborhood I mentioned, I live in a mostly black neighborhood. It's it's been here for since they're mid or sorry, the early nineteen hundreds of like one of the oldest middle class black neighborhoods in our county. And when I mentioned the fact that, you know, I was talking to our someone who's on the local town board, and I was saying, you know, I think

And you know what we can and maybe it might be nice, honestly to have Because I did a live one time with Angela to talk about how do you get a law passed?

And I said this.

She was like, girl, if you think something is wrong, reach out to me. But she's like, it's not just me. So if you are like, hey, I don't like the fact that this is happening, you know, you can reach out to your local.

Legislators and say, hey, what can we do?

I would love honestly we might think about having her on so that way we can actionize people to say if something is wrong.

Here's the type of people.

There's assembly women, there's I don't know, like what other whoop, what other people you can reach out to get laws created and passed and all that kind of stuff. But I would love to have her on to walk us through the process of if something is wrong and you reach out to your assembly woman or whomever, and then

Yeah, that sounds amazing. I love it.

Yeah, because she's honestly, she's amazing. She just I've never seen anyone like Angela.

She is more.

I have to google it, but I think last time I checked, she was like the lawmaker in the last whatever number of years that has gotten more. Last passed, she got the crown law passed in New Jersey, which is means you can't be you can't be discriminated against because of your natural hair as a black and brown woman.

She's amazing.

So I just think she is a real advocate for this community and not just talk someone who was like, oh, you know, that's not right.

You know what, it's been a long place.

And knows how to navigate the system because getting a law pass is not easy. You can't just have your side agree. She knows how to present it in such a way that most more than just you know, she's a Democrat more than just the Democratic representation thinking like this is a good idea. So so yeah, I think

You know, well, I'm really that sounds amazing. I really wanted to have the founders of this organization called Higher Heights on, So I don't know if you've heard about Higher Heights, but we can talk about it offline. But Higher Heights and even if you guys just want to do quick google, this is an organization that essentially, you know, kind of like Emily's List, but on a smaller scale for Black women especially and helping black women ascend and

The last white guy.

We have to look to save ourselves, you know, like they would be like I love Joe, but like let's figure out how to save ourselves and its organizations like Higher Heights. And there's other ones out there too, people like Angela what's her last name v and I'll be McKnight be McKnight. I almost said mcphe close. Angela Vie out there who are yeah making it happen. That's that's a good idea. Yeah, let's me.

Yay power power to the people. So yeah, oh me, Well, I'm like, you know what we turned that you boost? I know, Okay, So I forgot. I'm like, okay, bye, guys. No, well my boost honestly, it's I'm excited. I was on Good Morning America for the very just.

Girl. You alway watched all eight minutes and forty three seconds, yo, it was so crazy.

So here's the thing about good work. I was on Good morn in America literally years ago for like two seconds. I think I asked a question. They were like looking for people to ask a question. I was like, I have a question I would have asked, but no, this time around, it was so special because, well, one there's a video Robin Roberts has. She's one of the main

So as you know, they taped everywhere. They taped at my house.

They taped my parents, they taped Angela, they taped my friends, they taped my sister, and so that they were putting together kind of like this is your life budget Tiffany to the budgetista, they said, Okay, pre COVID, we used to debut a clip of this thriver Thursday, typically like an eight minute video we typically debut debuted on GMA. But we're not going to do that because COVID anybody coming to the studio. You can't come to the studio. And I said, okay. You know what I said to myself,

So it's there.

There's literally nothing bigger. And so when she said it, I was like what, oh, okay. She's like, send me, send me a segment that you'd like to do. And I was like, well, maybe waste thrived during a recession. But I told myself, well, regardless of what happens, I'm grateful. And so it was literally like two days before and it was like, okay, they agreed. I'm like, wait what. She was like, We're gonna do this segment, and I was just like.

Makes sense. This was cary last minute.

Yes, that's what I was having because I was like, okay, this is good, and I kept telling myself to me, this is amazing. But at the same time, I was like, you know, because it was it was it was twenty kittens, and I was like okay, and they were taping. They

I'm assuming beforehand.

And I was practicing with her and she was like, okay, Tiffany, I know you're nervous.

I was like, you know, I'm just fine.

She was like she said something to me that was just so powerful, and she said, this is your moment, this is it is a big deal, and it's okay to feel that, but I don't want you to allow your nervousness. She treated nervousness like it was like a person. I don't want you to allow nervousness to mess up your moment.

She said.

You can be nervous afterwards, you can throw up afterwards, you can do all that stuff. Afterwards, I want you to set it aside and I want you to meet your moment. You have worked so hard, you have put in the time and the effort, you've given so much, You've helped so many people. This is your moment, Tiffany, this is you getting back what you've put in.

Meet your moment. When I tell you it was like it was like Rocky. I was like start saying, you know what you knows. I'm such a like, I'm such a do because I was thinking, like, what is that? What is that?

The brave Heart where you had like the blue face. Bill Gibson, he was like.

We ride. That's exactly how I felt.

I was like, this is what not Kelly Clarkson crying on American I.

Got it and so so literally I'm sitting in front of the camera because the way and it's so crazy because this is a setup. I used to complain every single Sunday because I would have to tape with my videographer Jermaine, and I would complain that like everybody else, cause have fun Sunday said, I have to tape every Sunday to tape these videos for dream Catchers and things like that. But it was the same setup, so I knew exactly where to look, I knew how to woosign.

I was talk to myself.

Thank God for like two years of doing this on Sundays with Jermaine. Because I know the setup, it's very familiar. I don't have to get used to it. I can look at the camera like it's a person, and literally I can hear Robin talking about me because you hear her introducing me, you hear my playing, so it was like a twofer. It was like we're talking about Tiffany and all the work she's done at the Bunjanista and helping women, and then Tiffany's coming on to do a segment.

But I.

Did it, and like afterwards, I certainly wanted to faint, but I was just like, I didn't stutter, I didn't stumble.

I got it out amazing. I thought it was pre taped. No, maybe that way because it was so good.

Maybe when I tell you literally, I looked at the camera and I said, I'm putting the I literally visualized me taking the nervousness out of my body and setting it to the side, and I said, I'm meeting my moment.

And then I picked it up properly after that, and I was like, the moment, the moment was like, nice to meet you, lady. So yeah, it just welcome to the next level. And that's how I felt.

And then after that, the level the types of emails that were flooding into my inbox after that, it was, I mean, I just can't wait to share with you guys some of the stuff I'm a lot of about to say just yet. But it just was I needed that speech. But that's that's what I mean that, Like, I'm really grateful, don't get me wrong. And I'm like, oh, hell, I'm gonna cry. I'm really grateful, don't.

Get me wrong.

But it's just I'm used to the work. I'm not used to the reaping, you know. And so that's what I'm struggling with, Like I can so all day, like what work sowing? Sure, I'm a workhorse. I'll keep going, going, going, going going. But now it's like I'm not you know, as much as like with the budget, Lisa. You know, I know I'm on a platform, but I'm not. I'm not really used to and comfortable with the reaping. Like if you give me a compliment, I'm uncomfortable, you know.

What's your plan to learn? I figure no, I don't know.

You need to figure it out quick, girl, I know. Because what have you been doing since Thursday?

Working? Have you celebrated? Have you gone?

I mean, I know it's COVID times, but I feel like a nice little dinner champagne, literally on champagne.

I've been working on my book on Friday like I woke up Friday morning at seven am, and I worked all day Friday, all day Saturday, all day Sunday because I have to submit my book on Wednesday. I didn't even get literally Thursday was like okay, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I mean, I actually worked more than I usually don't work on the weekends. Actually worked more than I normally do.

Girl, you can't even remember You're.

Daddy and a bow tie was on Good Morning America telling the.

World how proud of you he was.

Get out of here, you need to be I don't even know how to celebrate, honestly, I do.

I know I do therapists, and I've been saying this for like two years. Someone said they were gonna help me. I'm like, whoever that lady is who says she was gonna help me find the place?

Do you want to borrow mine? Her name is Lauren, Because she and I talked about this all the time. I get very uncomfortable too. But you need to figure out. I mean, you have your own whatever makes you happiest. But I mean, and it's only going to get it sounds like it's only going to be more challenging moments of success ahead of you. And by challenging, I mean fun stuff that you have to get used to enjoying.

You've got to.

I think all of us could get better at that because if not, then like, what was the point of all the work? You know, the mountaintop is supposed to be.

Is there a party up there? Cause we're all trying to get there.

Imagine if we imagine if you you go to heaven and it's just like like a free sample at Costco, Like you.

Like, so you want your little weenie on a stick? Or what what I was all of it for? We need to believe in something that's fun, you know, you need to enjoy it.

Yeah, and and I want to, And you're right I said that. I'm like Tiffany, you need help learning how to enjoy. And I mean, obviously there's some fear back up there that maybe in the enjoyment it goes away. I've always been like I was like the kid who you know how people have like over expectation. I was always like no, I was low expectation queen, so I can never be disappointed. Like I'm like, oh, that's okay, I don't need any cupcakes because I'm probably not gonna get any anyway.

That's okay.

I don't need to celebrate my birthday because you probably not gonna give me a present anyway.

Like that's always been my default, and.

I'm like, it's such a bad habit, and so it was my middle child like thing like well, you know what, I'll just take the smaller room because my sister's gonna take the bigger room anyway. And so I want to break that habit and because I know I can't do by myself, because it's it's something I cultivated to protect me from being disappointed and hurt.

But now it's keeping me from enjoying.

And it's your Unicorn squad you need they Like I almost feel like, what if you frame it as it's not just me celebrating, I get to celebrate the people who helped build this, you know what I mean? Like, what if it's something for Unicorn, you and the Unicorn squad, you know, like you can celebrate easier to.

See, Yeah, and you're right, and that makes it easier because then it's not just about me because we typically we do like a vacation every year with the Unicorn squad, and that's like our way to celebrate each other. But we haven't you know, COVID. But no, I'm gonna but I'm serious. I do want a therapist because I want to work through this and I don't take enough time to like, like, look for myself.

The first on your to do list, it is, it needs to be first on my to do list.

So because yeah, so there was somebody who emailed me who said she would help, and I say, I forgot I can't find her email because then my pile of emails. But sis right, reach back out or anybody else that because I know I need one ASA because I want to unlock this.

I want to.

And the thing is, I don't want you to think like, damn, Timmy don't enjoy her life. I do, Like honestly, I have an amazing husband. I see my niece and my nephew at least every other day. I have a great relationship with my sisters, my parents, and I are finally on a really good like I was like kind of the wild child, So we're in a really good space.

With my mom and my dad.

So that part of my life, the Tiffany part of my life, I am enjoying.

But I don't know how to enjoy the budget Nissa kind of part.

That's the part I'm struggling with, not me as Tiffany, but certainly me as the Budgetnisa. I just I just work when it comes to there, but I don't reap when it comes to the Budgetia, I just sow. So yeah, I would love assistance in that, but no, thank you for that many because you're right. My friend Avida told me the same thing. She says she's going to check in with me in a week to see where my progress is. And she said, Tiffany, I'm not letting this go.

You did a good job. You need you need a therapist.

You need a therapist, And I'm sorry I didn't check in with you this week. And I just thought you were out, like I don't know, I just thought your own way. You were just either taking a big ass nap and didn't want to be bothered, you know, or it was celebrating in some shape or fashion.

Now I was sitting in a chair doing work for like ten hours streat every day five years.

You think I would have known you by now. Well, I'm so proud of you. And you did them. I mean you did exceptionally, exceptionally, you know, And I want this for myself and every other woman because I think it's something that we all.

It's universal.

You put your head down, you work so hard, and when you get there, it's like the adrenaline is still pumping, the fight or flight is still there and you haven't really let it sink in yet. Well, I know you'll get there. Like everything else, you will figure this out and have a party, buy yourself something nice. I don't know, book a vacation for next year. Tell the universe, you tell the Unicorn's glad to come up with their own crazy ideas. How should we celebrate? Yeah, and then just

Know that would be Honestly, I do want to go on to hot air balloon right. South Jersey has like because I mean I've been on one to know a.

No, no, Hey, you don't like hugs, you like massages.

I do like massages, and then I don't like hugs, just a little uncomfortable.

A nice massage. Yeah, just do the whole birthday weekend again with Superman. Do something nice.

Yeah that was awesome, like birthday weekend. But yeah no, but thank you for that, man, because you're right. I know I'm gonna get so many acts on install it, like tweets like.

Tivin ain't girl, I'm gonna shake you. It's okay. I welcome it from our myur BA cousins.

It's I like being confronted and shaken up and then like girl, we're not gonna let you pretend like ain't nothing happen. So I welcome your tweets, and but I honestly, I'm being honest, like if you I know there's like black girl, but honestly, keep me accountable because I will get lazy with my own self, like honestly, Mandy and

Put yourself first is what my psychiatrist told me when I was calling her from the laundry room floor in my house on Friday. Put yourself first, top of the to do list.

But congrats.

It was amazing. You look beautiful, sounded amazing. Your story is amazing.

It's moments like this that's what's going on by.

Movie. But you know what I mean.

All Right, Well, I gotta get upstairs to my angry husband.

Adorable child. I was gonna say, and happy baby. I love Rio. He's so cute. He's so cute. I know, let me go sweep and that hair. I'm like, I can't.

All right, Tip, have a good rest your night. Go figure out how you're gonna celebrate, Okay, all right,