Hey, hey, hey, we're black, We're brown. My blind AMBITI girl, Hey man, joy, that was take two and not doing take three.
Oh if that was take two, I don't want to hear table. How odd happy happy middle of July. I'm hanging in there. I'm hanging in there. We just put the baby down by the hair of my chinny chinchin. I got here in time. Homeboy is sleeping twelve hours a night.
Okay.
I could only if I could only go back to little baby Mandy from four months ago and tell her it was going to be okay, she would have slapped me in the face and said, no, we won't. But yeah, things have been much much better. It could not his his whole turning into a regular human who sleeps long stretches could not have come at a better time. I'm finally feeling like I'm getting my brain back.
Good. Oh that's good.
Yeah, well, I I'm trying not to get two of my feelings about it. But this whole the news about Nia Rivera from Glee who passed away, Oh my god, that story. I can't That's the kind of stuff. When I was like really in the throes of postpartum anxiety, would I would have been like down for a whole day, just just like sobbing. But oh my god. So it's that four years. You know, baby in the boat.
I know, and he's like, Mommy went for a swim, and I'm like, what happened? Did she jump? Did she?
Yeah?
Yeah, I don't know.
Well they said that apparently lakes like that they are really big and the wind can cause riptides or currents, and so the press I did. I did watch a bit of the press conference. I was kind of following the news on Twitter, and they said that it seemed like she used just all of her energy to get her baby back in the boat, year old Josie, and then she had and then she basically couldn't save herself, which is just.
Because I'm like, yeah, it's here, so yeah, I know.
Just with your baby. So my heart goes out to their family and I just want it makes me want to squeeze everybody. You know. Mortality is just it is just it looms. It looms, it looms, and you know, you don't want to let yourself get to drag down by it, but it does. I mean, with everything going on in this world right now, it's a lot it is just a lot, even for me sometimes. Yeah, but thankfully for this show, I cannot have something to look
forward to. Dr Dave reading these crazy headlines, Yeah, do you have any good news to share?
What did you?
What did you cook for dinner? You said you cooked for Superman?
I did. I mean it's not anything fancy, just some spaghetti. But it's like the way he loves it, because he like he was like, hey, bab I know. And that's why I feel so bad because when I'm always like, oh my god, girl, like the fact that he's so geeked about spaghetti.
Is like so telling Loki sounds so comforting and delicious. Right now, I haven't had spaghetti, and I don't even know, like bears, when's the last time I had a big old bowl of spaghetti? You know? But like I did you use like did you make your own sauce or were you talking like prego here? Well see what I do with like don't say ragu no.
So what I do is like, you know, like I cut up fresh garlic and onion and peppers, and so I will jazz up a sauce, you know, like whatever he has in that. I don't even know what I just poured the cannon and then like I'll you know, like I don't really eat meat, but we use ground turkey, so like I'll make the ground turkey first, all these seasonings, and then you know, I pour the sauce and then he's the type of so are you manajor? Are you
a separate sauce noodle girl? Or are you a combined spaghetti person?
I used to eat spaghetti like a savage, which was you put the dry noodles on the plate and then you PLoP the sauce on. That was me, because yeah, well that's what that's like the cartoons spaghetti that you see your whole life. You grow up and then any and then you get old enough for like a real Italian to be like, we do not eat that way. I don't know what kind of accent that was, but yeah, they mix it up and this like this like the
what did I read? Oh, we use way too much sauce in America, Like the pasta is supposed to be the star box. I don't know about that. I'm trying to drown out the taste of the cart here.
No, because I never had it mixed. I remember the first time Superman made it for me. I was like, what is this? What is this sorcery? And I'm like, oh, I like it, so yeah, so I mix it all together. But yeah, so it was good and I've just made him like a side sound. But wee me and Supergirl today for lunch, I said, what should eat for lunch? She's always like, she said, I don't know what about Mexican? So she had tacos and I had vegetarian burrito.
It was dilish, you ordered out or did you go out?
No? We ordered out. We don't grow where where, so no, we ordered Tiffany.
But Tiffany, listen, It's like people are out there living their lives and as if nothing is going on. And I am like here in the bunker, like what what's happening out there? Wire? And I see pictures, you know, like people eating on the sidewalk in New York. Not to mention even my home, my home state of Georgia, and what's going on there. It just like it feels like an alternate universe out there with always lives being lived.
Yeah, in the open, I don't feel I mean like I go out Wesson.
Down my Trader Joe stuff with the damn Clorox wipe.
I just don't feel comfortable like on the I go on the weekends, I will like go to my office to check the mail because no one's there. And then sometimes like you know, so I try to do big shopping now, so I went, I go to Costcos. I would say every two and a half months I've been going. So I've gone like two or three times since quarantine started. And I just get like a ton of everything and
it's honestly more than enough. And then in between things like you know, veggies and fruit that you know that have to be eating in a timely manner. That's just like my Superman just gets that on those way home. So we've been really good with Like I'm just like I just don't and I hones see. The truth is I always have a big outside, go outside person anyway. So I'm just like more more from. But I do want to share something. So I feel like I haven't
given you guys an update on business coaching. So I learned this exercise I feel like we can all do. It's called have you ever heard of your Zone of Excellence?
No, but I'm paying attention because that sounds awesome. So are you talking or like no, well again, where are we going with us?
So it can be anything. So really it's called I forget what like the actual full activity it is called. But there are four zones that you put an activity into. So Zone one are things that you love to do and you're good at them. That's one. Zone two things that you like to do. No. So Zone one is things that you love to do and you're great at them. So you literally create like a box, love to do great. Zone two like to do, you're good at it. Zone three don't like to do and you're good at it.
Zone four don't like to do and you're bad at it. So what are the business? So? But I love about our business coach, it's just not him. He has a whole team. So he had everyone on the team do this activity and create a role scorecard, like almost like a report card for the things that you do. So list all of the activity that you do for the company and how many minutes that you work on these things and is it a one, a two, or three
or four. So I'm looking and I'm like, oh my gosh, something that I like, For example, brown ambition, I put well because it's not for my other company, but still I spend a lot of time so brown ambition I put as a one love to do it, I'm good at it. It was just so interesting to see all of my activities rate it that way, like one, two, three, four? Do I love to do it and I'm really great at it, I'm excellent at it. Do I just like to do it and I'm good at it? Am I
good at it? But I hate to do it? And do I hate to do it and I'm bad at it? And so you really don't want any threes in four and if you're spending a lot of time in the three and four zone, you really have to reevaluate, like what's really going on here? So it was just like I said, it was really powerful. And I don't think the activity is called zone of excellence, It's called something else. But zone of excellence is like where you're wanting to be, which is in the one.
So you ideally want everything to be one or two, and then what do you do with the with the threes and fours? I mean, what if there's no one else to do that?
So just well one first acknowledging, like so Zion who's our coach? Is always like, you know, celebrate the acknowledgment. I'm like, oh you're so zion, so like, yay, I celebrate the fact I hate this thing, but.
I diggust the tell's that's first.
But then, you know, like you'd be surprised. Maybe there's someone on your team that wouldn't mind sharing in that responsibility because they actually have something in their three that's a two for you. So or maybe it's something like someone that you manage, Mandy might come to you and share like, you know, I'm really great at these, but this is not really something I enjoy. But you know, because you manage everyone, you know what, Sarah on the
team actually loves that, do you see? Like that's why the role scorecard that he gave us is something that the team all did and we me as the leader and CEO and my other lead team we get to review to see is anyone's role or anyone's role scorecard full of threes and fours because we need to adjust what they do. So really it's it's their job to kind of say, you know, I'm really not happy in this space, but it's our job to say, what can
we do to adjust? You know? And yeah, so because It could also be like, let's just say you're a really small team. It's just like, you know, you just starting your business and it's you in an intern. Well obviously you have to do all the things, but you might say, when I get a little money, I'm going to hire for three or four. But do you see, it just helps you to guide you with next steps,
Like I hate emails. I hate emails. The next person I'm hiring is definitely an admin, you know, like or I. So it just it's just such a great tool to really understand, like are you spending your time within your zone of excellence? It's Quadrat one is called zone of excellence. Quadrant two is called zone of Ah dang it, I had it. It's called zone of acrity. No Quajet two is called zone of something something good. Quadjet three is
called zone of competence. Quadrat four is called zone of incompetence. But I forget what Quadrit three is called. It's like excellence.
I have so many jokes. I'm gonnauld thement.
But yeah, it was just like I said, it was just a really good, like lesson an exercise. So just google like zone of excellence, quadrant or whatever. And it's just I think it's a really good exercise to.
Do one of my I feel like one of the things that I enjoyed doing as a manager of people, and that also kind of drives me nuts because I have to. I feel like I have to do it a lot is tell people how to fix their problems by asking other people to help. It's it's amazing to me how often someone's complaining about something that they can absolutely fix by just asking for help or delegating or
using the undn't resources at their behest. And you know, I think sometimes you know, you have people who who think if I'm not busy in killing myself, then I'm not working hard enough, or my boss doesn't think I'm working hard enough. But I mean, we had a meeting today one of my one of my editors. He won't I mean not that he listens. I don't know, maybe
he does, but he wouldn't mind. He was he was kind of joking, but he was like, yeah, man, I'm like, patmos, I'm almost going to pass out, just so much to do. And I was like pass out where doing what this job?
Editing?
You're like, come on, now, who's passing out? Why are you feeling like you got to pass out, okay, And it turns out like all of our editors set their own goals right for the beginning of the month. Here's you know, the number of articles we're going to produce. Just I'm just super simplifying it. They literally set their own goals. And then when they complained about that, I'm like, who told you to publish ninety five things this month?
Oh?
I did? I'm like, well, and you know it's it's you know, I'm not at that content sending, but it really is. It is I leave a lot of room for people to set their own goals. And I'm guilty of this too, you know, creating goals for myself that are on realistic, especially in this yeah realistic. And then even my therapist was like, so, who was in charge of what you your deadline? And I said, well me, and I mean it's I have to walk the walk and it's often me. And she's like, so, what's the
worst that would happen? Would you fire yourself if you missed this deadline? I'm like, no, I mean I guess not. I guess I can change it. She's like, so, what you know anyway, anyway, so I think that's great because often and I also think the busyness like being busy for me as a manager, I want people to be spending their time busy with the things that only they can do. Yes, and I don't think there's enough time people spend. And that's why I love like our editorial assistant.
And you know, we have other people on the team who can be sort of like your Swiss Army knives to pitch in and help out when there's tasks that are important, but not it's not the only task that you can do. Like there's things that I hired you for because you have these skills and you're good at this thing, and we're.
Rated so much time of things and for clarity, my bad, because you're not the worst memory tool. It's zone of genius, so jone of genius is.
Lovingly al sold on Zone of eler.
Sorry but no. So Zone of genius is you love it and you're good at Zone of excellent is you like it and you're good at it. So Zone of genius you love it and you're great at it. So that's ideally if you can get the majority of your things and your genius, it's like Mandy you are. You might be like super organized, you're a great leader, you're a great writer, but you're also like a critical thinker. So you know, the role that you're in is perfectly
in align with how you show up. Like for me, that's why teaching is like my jam because it's my zone of genius. It's like all the things that I am like, you know, fun, outgoing and you know, personality and so, but also wanted to share and be of service. So when I teach, that is my zone of genius because it's like all the things I actually enjoy are matched up with the things I really really really really
really good at. So yeah, zone of genius one, zone of excellence to zone of competence three and zone of incompetence.
For of course, I want to think about what am I incompetent at? Power points power points. The day that I realized I could delegate the creation of my power points was the day that I was like, this is
I My life has been changed for the better. I said, you are officially the most valuable employee on myself camera editorial assistant because I'm never going to do a PowerPoint and you were going to do them because It's like I could sit here and type these words into bullet points and make them pretty and add witty gifts and things like that. Or I could have camera and who's very good at these things do it for me and then spend my time elsewhere.
That's like for me, I say myself three hours. For me, it's probably technology stuff. Like I remember I was like, Oh, I'm gonna, you know, pull this link or I'm going to like, you know, create this graphic girl. Why to in project management? Like I'm good at setting the intention and you know, doing my part, but I project management requires a level of organization that is foreign to why So like I'll start off good, like we got our checkpointed, our checklists, Yes a lot.
That's my genius zone.
So for me, that's zone of incompetence where I'm like, not only do I not like necessarily project managing at least not to the nitty gritty, I'm terrible at it. So it's like why am I leading this? You know? Like why did I ask Karen? Like I just actually had to talk with someone today who I was supposed to be helping to do a project, and I promised to take the lead on it. And actually had to call and have a candid conversation because I did my my my chart and I was like, yeah, you know,
I promise I was going to be a lead. Yeah, I'm not capable. I'm not capable.
I get this picture. What happens if someone comes to you like, actually, that's not in my zone of genius, so I can't talk about Sometimes is there a zone for your zone of nobody? But you here available, You're a warm body and you must do this to help the company.
Right now, Well, I'll say this that, like I would think that what I wouldn't want. It's sometimes there are moments when you have to work in zone of competence, meaning it's something that you really don't care for but you're good at it. But I don't ever want anyone to work in zone in competence because you are literally doing a bad job and the thing that you hate. Why would I want anybody working in the bad job? You know? Like because they have of course, you know. So that's why.
So those some people go ahead, Some people like some people. I have been at places not my current and player at all, but I have been in environments in the office where people really like to complain and they like that little misery stew in the zone of incompetence where
they're not great at their job. They're also loved to bitch about it, and that is kind of like their thing, you know, just complaining and dragging everybody down, and they just fester and they're in the shadows of a work environment and they just bring they just the toxicity that Ooz is out of those people. Ooh. I was like, never again, let me be. I don't want to work with anybody like that.
If you notice that other people, like I've gotten because I'm fortunate in that we have free range to let go folks like that because we have. We haven't hasn't happened often, but we have. But yeah, and then you know, if you're fortunate for those types of people to leave, what you learn is like after a while, you know it's in leadership. You learned to spot spot the template, right, So you know, I'm like, oh, I've had enough people.
Then I'm like, ooh that, let's pretend names that's a Brian. Yeah, You're not gonna fool me. I met you three years ago, Like it's not you, but it's you. You know, like that type of personality and you're or you're like, oh, that's a Sarah. Oh, Sarah's worked great here. So I've learned that there are certain personalities where I can tell where people sometimes will pretend they know how to do a thing but don't know how to do a thing.
And there's certain languages that people use. I've had people who were, you know, kind of like for less lack of a better word, like a suck up, and I'm like, okay, that's great, but what about the delivery? Oh oh, so you think that if we're KOUCHI that's what we say back in the day. If you think that we're that just means super I don't even know where me when I'm saying this is like second grade. If you think that we're coaching.
Twenty lens, I don't know that we can say much. Klay might have to beat that out.
Yeah that's okay, But I mean it's so crazy because that's something we used to say, like as a kid, I don't know, I'm thinking like where did that come from? But as kids we would say that. So if you think that you are super close to me, you think that we're super cool, then you know you don't have to actually do your work. So I recognize that you know, but these are things that you learned with time, because
you don't know until you know. But yeah, like, I definitely don't want anyone working in zone up in competence because it's literally detrimental. It's just when I tell you, like, I'll share the next lesson for them for our next chap, but like, there's another lesson that I learned that I was like, oh, honestly, when I tell you business coaching has been the best money spend, I told you, guys, it was expansive, and at first I was like, I don't know. But when I tell worth its weight in gold,
I mean worth this plus some. It was seventy thousand dollars for two months, which is not a little bit of money. And I really vacillated back and forth, but we were kind of stuck. So we're like, we really want to move to the next level. We want to go from just like you know, making just above seven figures a month, how do we really take ourselves to
the next level. And there were things that were just in a way that we had tried everything that we knew to move past those things, and with this business coaching. I'm like, oh, we're moving past so many things. The growth alone and it's just been a month has been amazing. The team is like, oh my gosh, this is so great. I love that it's not just coaching for me and my co founder. It's also like, so for those who don't know, not for the budgetating I don't have a
co founder, but from my online school. But it's not just business coaching for me and him, because we get individual coaching every week, but it's also coaching for the team. So it's just, like I said, been an amazing experience and we've just grown tremendously. And I used to think, like,
I'm not gonna lie. I used to think business coaching was kind of scammy, just because I would hear so many women, especially who were taking advantage of But if you find the right coach, yeah, then it could just make all the difference. Like that money that we spent, we're already going to make that back as soon as we're done. There are things already I'm like, oh, we'll make that back honestly in the first week of our completion of this coaching, So that money is already money
in the bank. Plus money moving forward. So asking for help is by.
Yeah, I mean there are people out there who make who have careers because they're so good at this type of thing. And also it's it's like anything, it's like personal therapy. It's about finding the right fit for you. And I mean, I think I talked to five different therapists before I settle on the one that I worked with.
And what I love about the idea of any sort of outside third party who has knowledge of the industry or knowledge of how what you're doing can be successful, to look at your to look at the thing that you've been staring at and you're so in the weeds yourself and you can't see the forest for the trees. To have a third not a third, but a yeah, a third party looking at it. They will always call something to attention that you may not have seen yourself.
You just have to be in the right space for it mentally to be to be open to that feedback and to be open for that, you know, to be open for that growth. Because you ever watched that show What's It on CNBC Marcus Lamoniz what's his show? Or he the profit? Yes, the profit yeah, where he goes into kind of. I mean it sounds not some of these businesses are like truly trash. That he'll go into a struggling business, a small business, and he will identify
very quickly sort of what the weaknesses are. And the businesses that usually succeed are the ones whose owners are willing, the ones willing to listen and accept an outside view. And it's the ones who aren't ready for that yet, who are too stubborn, can't see their own you know, weaknesses, don't want to acknowledge it. They're the ones that struggle.
If I were working for the budgetiesta to see that you're investing in this kind of this kind of coaching, and then it's not just for you, but also your staff. I mean, that sends a great message to them. It sends a message that, Okay, Tiffany, even Tiffany knows that she's not perfect and that we're not perfect, and she wants to grow and she knows and she recognizes in order to grow, we all need, you know, some outside council.
And I feel like it'll bring all of you guys closer as a team, just that you're investing in this type of asset.
Yeah, bank at I can't wait to like, you know, da da da, I'll share some of like the major shifts, like we were done around I would say in August, well done, and then we have plans that we'll have to do and like enact and then but I can't wait to just share, like these are the major shifts that were made and as a result, this is where we are. So it just has me thinking differently, Like,
you know, there's just growth, not just as a business. Honestly, most of the growth is really as a person and as a leader, like, oh, okay, these are the ways I have fall these are things I'm doing really well at and how to lean in you know, these are the ways where you know, how could I possibly know? It's still new to me, but here's where I can grow.
You Yeah, you start to realize that the thing that brought you here oftentimes is also keeping you here, and you're like, god it that with each level you have to adjust, and so learning like what that looks like and learning how to adjust way before you reach that level is really like the key. So you don't want to be like, oh so I need level ten, you know, adjustment, And I might love a time right now it's like you should figure that out when you're at level seven, so the transition is smoother.
Love it. So what once these two months are up, is there any kind of ongoing like once a year check in that's included? I mean, do you have any kind of follow up with this person?
Yeah, Zion, So I'm not sure if like it's included, but certainly you can continue a relationship. I don't know, like what the cost of that is. And maybe I should have said his like well whatever, I've been sayingthing because I'm like, who knows, maybe his price is higher now because I hate sometimes telling people's prices, not because I don't mind share prices, but just because I'm like they might be like, hey, we charged one hundred thousand. Now I know the budget Lisa said that, but noupe
not anymore. But either way, we're here.
Every business is different. You have to be smart enough to know, Okay, well if my business has sixty employees and Tiffany has twenty, then probably the price will be different.
Yeah that's true. And so yeah, so what happens is like what I really like they're super organizers, like we you do kind of like these pre meetings create a plan which is like this is the aim for our time together. This is what it's going to look like week by week by week, day by day by day. And it's just honestly, they've done everything from looking at marketing, from looking at our finances from we we we already had quarterly meetings kind of, but they taught us like
this is what a quarterly meeting should look like. I was like, oh, mind blown, Okay, it was so awesome. Honestly, I could tell the team was like, ah, because you know, quite honestly, we've been making it up.
You know, amen to that.
Yeah, Like cause I don't know. I'm just like I always tell a team we're learning together to learn, like, oh, this is what's going to help us strategically move forward, and even learning things like when we do have like these kind of like teen meetings that like me and my business partner should really speak last, because oftentimes when leaders speak first, it sets the tone for what everyone else says. And so it's like, hey, guys, you know
we're thinking about this new project. What do you think now I'm thinking about this new project. I think we should do this, this, this, and this. What do you think? I agree?
Tiffany versus why are you are talking to me right now? Right? And I'm just like, because you don't have more nuances I can sew that person. But so am I I'm like, well, I told you can give me seat. Yes, And after I told you, how excited I was.
Like, isn't that great?
Guys? And They're like yeah, and so I was like, oh so just even liddle things like that, I'm like, okay, speaking last, it's just when I tell you, it's just been.
So so awesome, And I just feel like, like I said, it's not even about the business as much as I'm like, I'm growing as a person, Like ah, this is what real leadership looks like. Not to say I wasn't leading before, but this is what really creating a space for your employees to grow and to live in their zone of genius. This is what it really looks like to listen, because I always feel like I was a good listener, but not to just listen for listening's sake, but for listening.
And then how do you take these suggestions and put them into a strategic plan of action? And it's like, oh, okay, we've decided all these things and for the next three months. This is what we're working on, and we're not going to bring any new thing in. And if we are going to bring a new thing, we like, like a new pair of shoes, you have to throw away a pair of shoes to make room for this new pair.
So it forces you not to overstretch, because that's one of our issues is that we are really excitable, like the Unicorn squad, and so we'll take on too many projects and it slows the whole process down. So it's like, how do we prevent them. It's by having these quarterly meetings, getting really clear we are, you know, we get clear and then we get unclear, and so learning like how not to do that into taking things into bite sized pieces.
But like I said, it's been I could just tell like the company, everyone is just so excited, like wow, because to your point, Mandy, it's not just my business partner I get in coaching. We're all getting coaching. Everyone's getting a hand, you know, like here's your role scorecard, this is what's next step. So everyone's like, oh wait, we all are included in this. So yeah, like I said, best money ever spent, and I would spend it again and again, well, you know, with a reason, but but yeah,
definitely the best money ever spent. I could see you doing something like this like once a year or once every two or three years, just to realign.
But yeah, it's just yeah, I think it's investing in people and people. Everybody wants to grow like you. You want to grow in your in your job. And if you feel like there's no opportunities for you guys to grow, then that's when people start looking at other opportunities and they look for another job that will get them to next level. But you're keeping having the opportunity to level up, you know, in your words right here at the budgetess
to ink level up, level up? Oh man, well let's level up and take a quick break and come back with some questions about.
I love it, you know, I love me. Some questions.
The zone of genius, Okay, we have to get that right zone of genius. What's in my zone of genius? I might think about that. I'm more worried about the zone of incompetent, zone of incompetence and zone of competence. Do I have enough self awareness to say when I'm incompetent at other than power point, I don't know. I did come back from attorney to leave and ask for a crazy promotion. I think my my my zone of incompetence is sometimes taking on No, that's what you say.
That's the same thing. I just work too hard. No, but it's what you're saying. I love a challenge and I love to like you know, That's why I said I lost so many friends when I got I was talking earlier about the Fitbit and how and like the Peloton I'm getting my Peloton bike, and part of me is so competitive. I just want to like, I'm already thinking of all the records I'm gonna smash Amongst my friends. You have Pelotons, like they're not gonna see me come in,
and how the Fitbit. Truly, I almost lost friendships, that's how competitive I was. But I just love a challenge and I just get so I get so set on it and it makes me successful, but it also I'm not happy at the end of the day. I'm run ragged, you know. So Yeah, when you know what you can do, look, I promise y'all a break, and I'm not even giving myself one.
Oh yeah, let's take to say. Something you can do is just to look on your calendar and just start writing down, like because usually I calendar all my big tasks, so that helped me to write those down and to really act myself as I was doing those tasks. How did I.
Feel, m That's true? How do I feel?
Okay?
You gave me a lot to think about. We will take a quick break and be right back with y'all questions. And we're back with some questions. You guys, hit us up. We're at Brandon and Mission podcast on the Gram, where you can d m us your question. You can also send us an email at brown and wait, what's your email? Brandon Mission Podcast at gmail dot com.
Even this, I remembered it after ride almost five years. I was like, I got I got it.
I was just talking about being run ragged. I am so I'm so tied. I've done, I'm doing too much, but dam it. And Lauren was right. Lauren, my therapist, she was like, I don't know, Mandy, it seems like you're probably going to regret some of the things you've said yes too lately. And I'm like, no, I feel great, I feel amazing and I and honestly I lied to her on her last maybe you shouldn't lie to your Mandy water she because I knew she was right. I'm doing.
My husband started going to work two days ago, two days a week. Well he always works, but into the city for two days a week, which means I'm here with the kiddo and my full time job all day. And I was like, it's only two days, you know, and I'm talking myself out of basically getting help. And then I'm doing all this stuff. I'm you know, I felt this real call to action with the Black Lives Matter movement and the George Floyd protest. I felt this call to action. So like I said, you know, try
and evoke change. And that's that's meant stepping up, you know, at my company, but then also doing some stuff in the community and at my at my alma mater. And it's all great, but I'm not necessarily doing the best job balancing at all. My zone of my zone of over wars, the zone of says yes too much, I know, the zone of over excited, project boundaries, over excited. Everything sounds great. I love to do things and to feel productive, but it just is so annoying that there's only twenty
four hours in the day. I just need more hours, that's all I need.
No, you need to see you you. I thought you said you love to draw a line. You're not drawing boundaries.
Well, I know it's interesting. Maybe I should do the zone of No. I do love personal boundaries and everything I've said, yes too, I'm excited about. But it's a little bit. I do have a pattern, if I can use Lauren's words from I do tend to have a pattern of going through these like really like you know, I always say, like freshman Mandy at the career fair or the activities fair in college where I sign up
for like way too many things. The next thing, you know, I'm like treasurer of that group and secretary of that group, and I'll and I'm like, yes, I'll do that, and it all sounds great, and I do love the things I'm doing, but there's if you have too you can't be a genius if there's too much stuff in that zone, you know what I mean.
And also too look, it's still it's still setting boundaries because it can be a lot of great things. Because there's so many great things that on my plate right now, I'm like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, my gosh. But it's just not possible for me to say yes to all those things. I have to create space, and like I have, literally for the last two or three weeks, I've been working ten to twelve hours a day, money through Riday.
It's like all in a row.
Yo, It's insane, and I'm just like poor Superman.
Working all in a row.
Yes, that's like, I mean, that's why I make me making spaghetti today. He was like spaghetti. Oh my gosh. Because I'm like, we're like two ships passing in the night and I'm like, now, So even though the things are exciting and they're they're amazing things, to what end. That's what I've been asking myself, Like these things are great, to what end? I have to prioritize, Like you reach a certain level because you're at that level where because you put in such amazing work, you are going to
be reaping amazing things. Like you've sown apple seeds. Girl, you're picking apples. So you're like, oh my god, an apple, Oh my god, the apple. It's like maybe they're all apples at this point. They are all apples. So what are you gonna do? You know what I mean, like, you can't pick every single apple, eat every single apple. And so I realized, like, oh, oh, Tiffany, you are literally reaping what you've sown, and you've sown good things,
so you're gonna pick good things. But you don't have to pick everything just because it's ready for harvest, because it's not possible to have all the things. You know, you're gonna have to decide today. You know, I'm not gonna have apple today. And it's okay, you know, because if not, you know, if I was twenty one with no you know, no husband, no fai family, I mean, you know, aside from like my sisters and my parents, then yeah, you can go hard, like twenty four hours
a day if you want. But I don't even want that now that that's just the truth. I don't. I want time down, like I want, you know, my niece and my nephew to come over and tear apart my house, you know, eat up all my cookies. I see you, Roman, I see you.
You know.
So it's just like learning. I'm still learning how to say you know, no, I've gotten better actually told my mom know you I know, there's like questions, but it's almost like we're questioning ourselves. I told my mom, no, she wanted me to do, not in a bad way, but she wanted me to do like a something for like a group of her of a professional group of her, her professional group that she's a part of. And they wanted me to do like a keynote. And honestly, maybe
I am exhausted, exhausted. And I looked on my on my my my role report card, my role card, to see like how did I feel about these types of like engagements, And I put them at like a three, sometimes a two, but mostly a three, meaning that I'm really good at them, but I really don't enjoy them anymore. And I was like so And then I also learned from Zion, so many times I say yes because I'm afraid of what people will think about me. And so I said, this is a time to tell your mom.
I was like, honestly, Mommy, I'm just so so overwhelmed. I can't and so normally my fears my mom's going to be disappointed with me and how selfish of me. And she's like, yeah, I figure it because my baby's doing big things. And I was like, oh, but so you know the fear of my mom is going to be so disappointed. I'm such a bad, selfish child. That's what I would have told myself two or three weeks ago.
But I told her and she took it like yeah, I figured that it was just extra proud of me, and like I was like, oh, that's what happens when you said a boundary. The people who care about you don't give you a hard time about it. And so it was just like a like, you know, cause I would never like what tell my mom. Know, I'd be like, oh, I'll do all ten of them. But I'm exhausted, you know,
I'm tired. I have to say no. Like I said, it's good things, but I'm just like I'm going to be drowning in the sea of goodness if I continue like this. Like when I tell you, remember two weeks ago, Mandy, I told you like I threw out my back, Like like, so I threw out my back one out. I was like, oh my god, Oh my god, my god, cause I'm sitting so much. My level eight and a half out of ten back muscles just gone. Then finally get my back together after going to the doctor. My the left side,
my neck. I was like, oh, my neck. I threw on my neck so much so I had to cancel everything. I'm just laying in the bed like my neck, my neck. Go to the doctor, she gives me medicine. Finally get my my neck together. Now it's the other side of my neck and shoulder, Mandy. My body is like, girl, you've been to die up. That's what we're doing. So I'm just like, to what end? Because my body is obviously telling me, Tiffany, I know these all these amazing things.
I know this interview and that into your New York Times and Well Street, I know, and then this and that you can't do all the things. Your body is literally physically trying to slow you down. And so I'm speaking to y'all and anybody else who might be listening that like, because it's in a weird place. I've worked so hard for so long to reap all of these things in they're here now, and I don't know how to say no, but I want to reap those things.
And it's like a girl, you're gonna I mean, you can't even make this Hamilton reference because you haven't watched it yet.
I know, when do I get time to watch Hamilton.
They have the same note. Listen, if you you make time for what's important to you. Okay, I threw my back out to doing a five hundred piece puzzle. This is the thing. I can't just do it over the court. I'm like, I'm gonna get this puzzle. I'll just do, you know, thirty minutes a day. I get obsessed and bending over this dam coffee here for four hours, going to bed at one am. You're so competitive, I know with myself, I am my own worst.
No, I don't think it's a worse ede of me, but it's hilarious that, like, no, you are literally legitimately competitive to the point where you are literally competing against Mandy. You're like, oh, Mandie, you thought this puzzle was gonna be Oh no, not today, Mandy, yesterday.
It feels so good to win. And then you know what, there was a single piece missing and I wanted to cry, Oh my goodness. At the very end, I think some look back, you were the dog agent. Yeah, honestly, why am I paying a therapist? I know what the issue is. She's gonna ask me, Mandy, why who told you to do all these things? I'm gonna be like me. All right,
let's get to some other process, all right. This question hit home with me because, as you guys know if you're longtime listeners of the show, I once, actually twice, we moved in with my husband's parents for very at different stages in our relationship. We live with them for a hot minute, so this question hit hit home for me. This comes from listener Alex. Alex says, my husband and I have made the decision to move in with his parents.
My husband works as a flight attendant for a well known airline, but due to COVID, our monthly income has decreased. Since he's no longer working, there's a possibility he may even lose his job in October. I've been paying our rent and a portion of our bills while he takes care of student loans, which have been put on pause thankfully,
and our utilities. We made the decision to move back in with this with our in laws because I can no longer continue to pay rent as rent and our current complex has increased and is taking up an entire paycheck for me. A few unforeseen life circumstances have also left our emergency fund depleted. I'm hoping that by moving in with his parents, will be able to rebuild our emergency fund and get our finances back in order. Do you guys think it's weird to move back in with
my husband's parents. What would you guys do if you were in our positions? We're twenty five and twenty six years old and we've been married for just a little over a year. For her, guess it lived with your parents, your husband's parents. But yeah, it's weird. It's not weird at all. It's you know what, at least you have someone. I bet you so many people would love to like what you know, save on rent, just move back home. At least you guys have the option.
Yeah, you know at forty girl, the it'sh hits the bad. I'm calling mommy daddy. So that's bed bedroom, Like I thought she was gonna say, out their mortgage.
I feel like they could at least give you a spot.
But you know, like except what I understand, because you know, there's like this shame about like oh am I moving backwards? And is it like adult? No, Like being an adult is asking for help when needed. So if you are have the privilege enough, because like Mandy, like you said, everyone doesn't have that ability. If you you know, sometimes people parents don't live close enough. Sometimes people's parents are struggling. Sometimes people they're not speaking to their parents, or their
parents can't take care of them their own finances. So if you have that ability, then that is a blessing and blessing I'm blessing. And yeah, I don't whether you're twenty five, just know this. If you need to move back home at thirty thirty five, forty fifty, if you need help, that's what it's there for. I just so you know, I moved back home and look where I am now. I moved back home with my parents at age thirty and now two years ago I was able
to pay off their house. So how full circle in getting myself together, I was then able to then give back to them. So yeah, don't be ashamed of that. Do what you need to do to get where you need to get to.
Yeah, and for me, the dynamic here is similar to what happened with us. I was we must have been I must have been twenty six twenty seven. We moved in with my husband's parents before we got married because I had this wild idea that I wanted to live rent free so that we could save up for the wedding, because I did not want to take on debt for the wedding, and it was a number of things. You know, rent in our neighborhood was getting really expensive. This was
a few years ago. I maan, I guess, like four or five years ago. We're living in Queen's and I also wanted to save for a house, and I just knew I wasn't going to get there spending you know, twenty one hundred dollars a month in our rent. So for me, it was an opportunity to save money. And we did save money, and that was beautiful. The toll it took on me mentally and psychologically living with my in laws, you know, that was a price that I had to pay, and unfortunately, you know, that kind of
drove me out. I don't think we ever made it more than what did we maybe spend like seven eight months the first stint and our second time moving back in with them was and bless them for even allowing us to This is the thing. You're so grateful, and then you feel so guilty for being so ine, you know what I mean, Like when someone wants to know where you're at and I'm like, I missed the days when no one knew or cared where I was because
they didn't see me coming home. The second time, we were doing the renovation for our house and so we wanted to again save money by not paying for an apartment while we were renovating the house. So they graciously led us into their home each and every time. It's not weird at all. It was what we needed to do so we wouldn't have to taken a lot of debt. And I hope that you guys, I mean the fact that you had an emergency fund have so I have lots of faith in you guys that you will get
back on your feet. It sounds like you're already great as a couple financially. You just you've done everything right. It just sounds like so many people out there the world's just kind of knocked you on your butts a little bit with what's going on right now. I'm glad that you have a soft place to land. I would take full full advantage of it and don't feel bad at all at all.
I like that a soft place to land.
Yeah, and your mommy in law's arms love it. She squeezes really really hard anymore.
It's yo, I don't think y'all have Let's take a book. We need a Mandy appreciation moment. I don't think you guys understand how well. Maybe you understand, but I don't think I can stand how funny Mandy is like, because I feel like people think like I'm the silly one. Yeah,
maybe got me beat honey, Okay, she is hilarry. Us. We have to do ig Live again because people don't get to feel get the full scope of your delightful personality sometimes because you know, we're answering financial questions and we're talking about our lives and stuff. But now when you catch Mandy on alive, what the singers and the slingers, you are hilarious. My sister was like, yo, Mandy is funny. It sound like I know.
So it's when you have dealt with so much stress, laughter is the only cure.
Okay.
My mom taught me that, bless her. Yeah, humor is if you're not last. I mean, the only thing you can do now is laugh. That's how I got through every challenge in my entire life was finding a joke. Now that's in my own detriment. Sometimes sometimes it's not You're not trying to get a laugh right now, Mandy, things are really just not it's not the moment for that. I had to talk to myself. But I just love anytime we can giggle, and that's why it's great talking
to you, Tiff. But most of the time I'm trying to keep you in lines. I can't be funny, I be likectivity. Really, I would love to do a live I've really held. I don't know something as I think it's just the raggedness. I just haven't been on social.
I was really on social for you know, really loving connecting to our audience on social, and I haven't really been there lately, and I guess it's just I just feel, Yeah, I'm just I'm feeling a little like I don't have anything to say and I don't really want to be out there like that. I'm going through a bit. I think I just need my peloton. I think I just need to crush crush some friendships and win some peloton races and maybe that'll bring me back.
Well, you let me know. You know, they would love to see you on my social We can because they love like you know, Mandy, they love you and so like, and when we get together, they're like, oh you guys, are you guys are really liked this. I'm like, oh yeah, even worse, like we know to do for the show.
I'll wait for you to invite me. I will not just crash your ig live with my nonsense.
I know her, I know her. It's okay.
Let me and all right, let's take thanks Tiff though, thanks for the love. Let's take Let's take another question. How about this. We had a couple like this. I'm gonna they're both anonymous, so I can kind of mash them together. But they're both working at companies that they don't feel are being super supportive in this time of unrest in the country. All already, she says, I'd love to hear your advice, but keep me anonymous. I recently graduated from college and accepted a job at a company.
This was a miracle from God in itself, considering the current state of the economy. What's more, I actually like the role, and the pay is great, but I have serious concerns about the company's values. The company so far has not done or said anything in response to this moment in the BLM movement. I know because I've monitored their social media and talked to a manager. It also seems like the diversity in the company is very low. As you can imagine, this is upsetting. They're going through
a bankruptcy crisis. But still, the least they could do is acknowledge that their black employees and customers' lives matter. Is this company worth my time? It might be an opportunity to change things from the inside. And in addition, I don't have any other job opportunities at the moment.
What do you guys think? So she's considering this job offer, but she's not sure she's a take it based on what she's seeing the company, based on what she's said she's seen and heard so far about the company's lack of response to the Black Lives Matter movement. We were just talking about this. It's tough because if you, I mean, you need a job, I don't think I can. I don't think I could tell anybody in good conscience don't take a job. I mean like generational well, like we
need to get out of this like trap. We need to start building generational well And unfortunately for now, you need to take a job. Maybe we're the company's values are not in line with where you with with where you are right now. I think you're I think when you say it might be an opportunity to change things
from the inside. Absolutely. I think when you're new to a company, you can even help them see if they're being a little tone deaf by sharing you know, your view on things, and maybe you can make an impact and make things better for the next person who comes behind you. Yeah, if this is your only job, is I take it and I hope, I hope that they
heed your advice and heed your feedback. If they don't, hopefully you can move on again when another opportunity presents itself and let them know when you leave why you're leaving, and if you know, they can take it or leave it. But at that point you have done what you can and then you've got to keep it moving.
Yeah, I say that too, Like at the end of the day, pay your bills. Like if you said, I have an opportunity to work for one company or this other company and the difference in pay is five thousand dollars, but it's not MINEU Like I you know, I'm someone who would still be able to pay bills and things like that, But this company is super in alignment and
this company isn't. Then that's different. That's like, Okay, we might meet, you know, Mandy, and I might be like, well, you know, five thousand dollars is not a little bit of money, but for your sanity, you know, I might go for the socially conscious company that pays five thousand dollars less, knowing that could still pay my bills and
save and things. Gotcha. But you're saying, take this job or what pay your bills is pay your bills, do your job, you know, definitely, you know, you know, do what you can to maybe help, you know, exert some influence over company culture, and then put yourself in a position where you can find a company that's in alignment if this one does not end up being so. But yeah, I would never ever, ever ever suggest someone to choose, you know, like, and I get it, because I'm like,
you know, we want to be in alignment. But everything I've always done has not always been in alignment. But you know, I put the work in so I can make those choices. So now here I am and I can make the choice of being in alignment. But I couldn't always make those choices. Earlier on in my career. We're now with that guy at a new space, so yeah, pay your bills.
This What do you think about her giving feedback to the recruiter she's talking to or the hiring manager now that you know, I'm really excited about this opportunity, but the lack of you know, if this is a company that you think it would be in alignment with what they stand for for them to speak out now, Like, I don't know how I feel about companies who I don't know, like they raise chickens, if they need to like speak about BLM some of it just if it's
not really on brand or we're in line with what you're doing. Sometimes I think, you know, companies can be seen as opportunistic by speaking out, and you may you may want to hear why they have it. Maybe they've thought about it, or they're doing something else, or they've decided that they can make a donation and they have an impact that way. I don't know, but I can.
On the on the other hand, I can hear myself saying this, and I'm kind of like, as a new person and company, do you even feel like can you just come in, like you know, hot already with like a bunch of I don't know, a bunch of questions.
Yeah, yeah, I honestly don't think that's necessarily wise. Like I'm just taking like, say it there was. Okay, let's just say I'm thinking about somebody new coming into my company and we have a policy. I don't know, maybe they're like, oh, I don't want to work, you know, nights or whatever not that we have people work nights. But let's just say, and it's literally like in the interview about to get you know, hired, and it's like, I think we should change the policy about sometimes we
work nights. I honestly am gonna be like, Hi, my name is Tiffany. Okay, you know what I mean. Like it seems like because people are.
More acts, unless you're getting hired to work in HR, in which case maybe it's applicable to your job. But yeah, yeah, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, So just being mindful, like, you know, get a good foot in the door, do like, you know, show that you are a valuable member of the team. And then you know, as you continue to look if you really just don't feel in alignment, and then when that happens and you're able to. It doesn't mean you don't say anything, but I would just be cost yourself. You just started, you know, so.
Yeah, and you want your work to speak first. And unfortunately, I do think there is a tax that you can be charged when you're a black or brown employee and you bring up race if you're not really sure of the company's culture yet and you haven't felt like it's a safe space for you to speak out. And I don't want you to be penalized for Yeah, there is a penalty I think that can come if you speak out about social justice issues in the workplace before you
make sure that it's a safe space for you. That's why I for so long, you know, at companies, I just didn't talk about it because it didn't seem like it was a safe space. No one else was doing it, and for my own survival, you know, I wouldn't speak out about that kind of thing. So, yeah, it's tough.
Take the job.
I would say, benefit of the doubt. Try and try, and you know, let your work speak for itself. And then as you start to feel more comfortable, you know, you can start raising those questions or start asking, you know, asking maybe why they've chose not to, and maybe you'll learn something about about why they've chosen not to speak out. Yeah, interesting question. I wanted to follow this question up with
someone else. So this person we were just talking about, she is in the she's job hunting, so she's looking at a job she hasn't worked for yet. This is another question from someone who's you know, long story short. She's working at a company wants to wants to remain anonymous, says the company's predominantly white and there's no person, no
people of color past a certain position. It's been disheartening to her, and last week they sent an email about being mindful of quote certain conversations unquote because not everyone feels the same way you do. She's wondering what should I do. I plan on going back to school to get my masters and leaving this industry altogether. But this has been pretty demoralizing that her company has done absolutely nothing, she says, to show support to the b LM movement.
So what can you do if you're in a company now you've already worked, there is now the time to speak up? Or should you just I have a friend, for example, who's decided she's just gonna quit. She doesn't care to help them be better. She's just like, I'm tired of this. I just want to get out of here. I am. I think that's fair.
Yeah, I if I if from leadership that came out, I would be looking for another job. Like I'd be like, okay, I might. I might say something like, you know, that was really hard, you know, a little hurtful, and just to see, you know, a little test of water. But ultimately, it sounds like leadership has decided it's one thing for a company to be completely silent. That's not silence. They actively made a choice to say we don't want to hear about your black lives matter. That's what that That's
what that email says. And so it's like that's a clear message from leadership about how what they feel about this. So in my mind, I'd be like, I'm already out of here, you know what. Let me start interviewing. Let me you know, I definitely do want to go back for my master's, but let me start interviewing. I'm not staying here. It's not a safe space for me.
This sounds like some real Southern stuff too. This because you know, in the South, being from Georgia. I mean, you grow up. And I've been doing a lot of like thinking about my childhood and even the early jobs I had in school and all these settings where it's just like you would be told that's not polite conversation. You know, so don't have certain conversations because you don't
know if everyone feels the same way you do. And this is your company kind of asking you to leave your skin color at the door at this time and not giving you space to bring your whole self to work, which is unfortunate. And I think, yeah, I agree with Tiffany. If you can leave for your own happiness and to work somewhere else that you feel accepted, that is great. I wouldn't say quit right now without something else lined up, because again, I think your own financial security has to
be taken to mind. But companies need to pay the consequences for not making all their employees, especially black employees, black and brown employees, feel feel safe and invested in and you know, a key, a key contributor to the company's success. They need they need to start understanding what they're losing, and they won't understand that if people do not, you know, eventually leave.
Yeah, I'm telling you, like I remember then, I tell you I was telling you guys about that brand, right Mandy that wanted to work with me that had no black employees, no black contractors, no black anything. And they're like, oh wait, we do work with black affiliate people and we hire black models. I'm like, oh, so you take black money, but you don't put money in black pockets. Got it, and you're proud of it, as my dad would say, and you're happy about it, Like that's a
very nice or anything to say. It's like when you're like, Dad, look I got a eighty six and you're happy about it, Like basically, you should be a standing for at eighty six. What is the eighty six when you can get a hundred. So they thought that coming to me with a sixty seven was somehow they're going to get a pat on the back. So I told her not interested things. I
want to be a black band aid. So they just emailed me a couple of days ago, like heay, just want to follow up to see if you really do want to pause our affiliate partnership. I was like I do, and they're like, you know, we are, you know, we're definitely I think it was she was in the email, but basically like we're going to be hiring some black people. And I wrote her back and I was like, just so we'd clear as you look for quote unquote black people,
that you're not doing anyone of favor. That what you're doing is broadening the net to find a qualified like to have a qualified, diverse team of people that work for you. That's it. And I said, here's some suggestions of how you can widen the net. You know, hire recruiters that that that specialize in different applicants from different backgrounds. Also reach out to some of the top HSBC us like like I told her, like uh, Spellman and Moorhouse and and I gave her a bunch of others. I
was like, these are you can find qualified folks. And you're because hiring black people is not doing them a favor, because the implement what you're implying is is that somehow you're doing people a favor. You're doing what somebody with their masters a favor to work here.
No.
So I just wrote that back. I mean, I said it nicer than that, but I really was like, girl, still ain't learn nothing. No, I'm not working with you.
I was like, I was very generous if you didn't give that advice. Yeah, just because it's a quick Google could teach her a great deal.
I mean I was like, you know what a bird fruit? Yes, I was just you know, I mean she didn't say that. You know, we're going to be like but I just wanted to be like, girl, you're not like, what do you want a freaking cookie? A freaking cookie for not being for saying, hey, we're going to be less terrible. No, you're not getting a cookie. As a matter of fact, I call I let logan my content manager, No right away, turn them things off me. Well, that's money lost us.
I'll take it. I'd rather less. I'm not putting money in pockets if I can help it of people that are egregiously out of alignment. You know, just like I got an email from someone from a prepaid you know, we know these prepaid cards are like the right because there's potypothies. You you pay money to pay money, to load your money on the prepaid card, to check your balance,
to take money off to transfer. I mean, they they they are predatory, especially to black and brown people, and especially to black and brown people who are are under banked or unbanked. You know. So I got this thing across what came across my email? Hey hey Bud Denisa, love what you're doing. We were looking to hire a spokesperson for a prepaid card. I was already like, you lost me at prepaid card. We're looking for Mandy. These
are the words I quote. We're looking for an influencer that is unapologetically black.
Oh. I was like, as opposed to one who's apologetic.
But that's the way of saying, like, girl, we want you to be black black, So that way you can trick your people.
A sassy influencer, so.
You could trick you could all fantically trick your people into signing up for our company. I was like, what in the predatory? So that I didn't even give a response back. I just blocked them. So hopefully they're listening.
To them to go contact mine. Who is it that? Who is that? Talk show host Montel Montel Williams, Yeah, what about it? Remember he used to wrap that was like money yeah, some some like yeah some similar no lending that is that should be the absolutely And we've talked about like rush card and even George Lopez got tired of the paid card business.
You know, this is what I say that prepaid cards are the malt liquor of financial products. Someone wrote me was like, girl that has a worker. I said it on ig Live. They're like, what do you mean? I said, mat liquor is like the devil for your body. It's the worst and it sounds but yes, it is gross. Plus it's primarily marketed to a demographic of people who typically don't have access to financial education or really finances, and so it's purposefully malt liquor is purposely marketed to
mainly black and brown people who don't have much. And so that is what that is what prepaid cars do. It is malt liquor. It is a bault looker of personal finance. And so don't do it. And yeah, when I saw that, I was like, you clearly don't bother me because I just be reading y'all for filth and you're still in my inbox. But they're like, girl, you unapologetically black girl.
Yeah I know, Oh yeah, screenshot these emails, getting a little folder they get by on board and feel like tweeting.
I feel like I can't understand when old people used to say, like older people used to say, got my pressure up, and I never understood, and now I'm like, I'm here. Some of these theys just be getting my pressure out of the pressure up.
Okay, Wanda, get it together. Well. My heart goes out to everyone working in companies where you don't feel like your voice is being heard or you can't bring your whole self to the table. I hope that you get out of those situations as soon as possible, But do
not feel guilty. This is what I want to because I'm sitting here and I almost feel you can kind of feel guilty for not being I'm going to use quotes brave enough to take that moral high ground and quit a job based on your values or based on you know, And I think that is incredibly brave if you're willing to, if you're willing to put your own financial security at risk to make a statement. I don't
think it is required. I think you can still be I think you can still support all that is going on and supported black lives and criminal justice reform and just everything like that without putting your own financial security at risk. But it also makes me so grateful to the people who came before us, you know, during the civil rights movement even before that, who were brave enough
to to boycott certain businesses to have walkouts. We just saw recently Facebook employees staged a virtual walk out in response to the company's treatment of President and we'll set it Voldemort's posts on the network. And I think their strength in numbers, So you know, if you want to
find like minded people, and maybe you can. You know, I think there is strengthen numbers and maybe you can find some like minded employees or workers where you guys can you know, make an impact as a collective voice. But I just I just don't. I mean, I hate the thought of someone, you know, because of what's going on,
feeling like they can't make an impact. They just have to quit, they have to leave and put their own finances at at risk, because that to me is like they're winning, to like they're still winning if we're not out here winning financially. And you know, sadly, I think when you're a person of color, often it means working for a company that's not super diverse so that you can get your coins, save up, build some wealth, and it is, you know, unfortunately the way it is for now.
I just don't want people to feel making any sense at all.
No, you are.
I just don't want people to feel bad about that. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're not less black, you don't care less about black lives. If you're working for a company that is not doing every single thing right, at the end of the day, you're probably it's probably
not your job to make them do everything right. And when you get to the next level and you're able to move on, I hope that you do when you find a place that is aligned with your values and it all just everything just you know, starts to sing beautifully and everything is aligned. But if it's not that way now, I just want people to give themselves grace and to be okay with that.
Yeah. No, I love that because I know a lot of people might be feeling like, oh, my company is not like but it's like like at the end of the day, pay your billsys.
Honestly, Yeah, do you know what gets my pressure up? Trying to articulate all the feelings that are happening in this world. And you were talking about earlier just wanting to choose your words wisely. I mean, at a time when you're rewarded for having like hot takes and being quick to and even on our podcast, I feel like, you know, we we try and speak on issues that are you know, and try and speak from our heart, which often means we don't prepare what we're going to
say in advance. But at this time, I just feel it's extra important to think about the words we choose, and that adds an extra and it adds a level of anxiety to normal conversations now that we're not there before. So that's what I'm feeling.
This is a lucky yay for Zola. This is like the love episode we've been like up down South mad happy, like oh yeah, you.
Know you're a pug wear a mask?
Yes, this is yes group ub wear a mask. I love that. Oh so it's now it's time for booster break for all our family.
If you're going to sing this song, you've got to sing it peppy. Okay, sounds sad.
Come on, now it's time to boost a break for all that family. Is you going to boost? Is you going to break? What you're going to do? Mandy?
Hey, cookie monster? That's who I heard? Listen, my throat has been run raw from doing Cookie Monster Impressions.
For the child Oh that's goode.
He loves it. I'll spare you guys. I'm gonna do a boost right now for America America, and they're spending because according to the Federal Reserve, the amount of credit card debt in this credit loving country is down twenty
nine whole percentage. Yeah, So I think a lot of this has to do with people very right rightly deciding maybe it's not the best time to start running up my credit card for things that I can't afford because of what's happening right now, or maybe it's time to start paying down this debt aggressively, because you never know what's going to happen. So this gives me a little bit of hope because before this crisis, those credit makes
America's credit card addiction is hotter than ever. I mean, it was like every month their record highs in terms of revolving credit debt. So this gives me a little bit of hope that at least we've learned a little bit since the last economic crisis. And I hope, I really hope that people are, you know, socking their coins away. This is the rainy day, This is the rainiest of days, and we don't know how long it's gonna end, so yeah,
keep it up, and I'm right there with you. I'm I'm just trying so hard not to not to use the credit or at least to continue paying it off and save more than I have in a in a hot minute.
I like that. So, no, you're right. I saw that article. I was like, oh, snappity shnap, that's awesome. I'm going to boo. So I had a really great call with the production company so about to them have been reaching out, but I had one calm particular with a company run by Tooless with an A and that was a uh oh that's true. That's just ooh, you're life and so but of all the pitches, sometimes you know, people pitch stuff and I'm like, eh, or it's just not in alignment.
On one production company actually, like as they were interviewing me, asked me to add some sass, not literally it was the right kid, yes or like next winging on. Can you say it like this? I said I cannot. I mean I can, but bruh no. So anyway, this woman, no, I won't say the name yet until like things are signed and stuff. But what she pitched me was just so wonderful. It just felt right. It was positive. It was an alignment with how I want to show up.
It just when I tell you it just now, whether you know it comes to fruition or not, whatever, because there's so many steps that has to take until a show comes to fruition. But it just felt so right. And it's been seven years of like production companies reaching out to me and me being like, nah no, let me see, and I just finally feel like I'm here now. It feels like the right time, it feels like the right idea, it feels like the right company, So we'll see.
I just wanted to boost on that. Yeah, it is, honestly, because I was telling Superman about it. I was like, you know, if I have like a show, show like, it's going to be like a thing, and he's like, oh yeah, I'm like no, like because I'm even planning for it now. Like there are things in business. One of the reasons why I brought on a business coach is to what does that look like to pivot time away?
Because you can't be on set, you know, all day, and somehow you're not going to make all the meetings, you know what I mean, Like what does that look like. So I've been just planning for that because I know that it's coming. And like I said, I've learned long ago in business that many times something is not the thing. It's the thing before the thing, or the thing before the thing before the thing. Meaning like let's just say
the thing is a successful show. But me being reached out to my first production company seven years ago wasn't about me getting a show seven years ago. It was the thing before the thing before the thing. It was to tell me get ready. It was to tell me, you know, practice more. It was to tell me, figure out, what are you gonna do with your hair or whatever, like I'm just making things up because I've had locks for like twenty years, you know. But so it was
to tell me basically to prepare. And so but I think I feel like that this is the actual thing. It just felt. It just feels like a warm hug, this idea, and so yeah, I'm just really excited about it. It just allows me to like be more of service to the women that I'm already serving. So, like I said, it's just I'm excited, but more so, I just feel
like good and warm about it. And I just couldn't have come at a better time, because there's there's just a lot going on, you know, as far I'm talking about, like civil unrest. There's just there's just so many cloudy aspects of life that it's nice to have sunshine. So that's just my boost. But another little funny boost. I don't know if there's a boost, but someone messages me earlier today and I had put like on in still
like oh Tiffany the Budgetese Alice. And then and then they saw, like I did an interview and they're like, oh Tiffany Alice, and they saw that underneath it was like Budgetie, founder of the Budgetista, and she wrote Tiffany. All this time, I thought Budgetsa was on your birth certificate, ma'am. I swim Jesus, I swimple Jesus.
Even Tiffany's on your birth certificate.
No it's not, well yeah, no it's not. It's Adochi, my African name.
And that that was a joke.
But can you.
Imagine she literally wrote Tiffany question mark question mark. All this time, I thought Budgetista was on your birth certificate, ma'am. I'm not gonna call you out by name because I'm sure, you're like Nick, I mean.
You know what, shout out to her for not questioning the you know your mother and what.
She And then on top of that, how can be it that I teach finances? I just don't even know? Oh my gosh, oh my goodness. Oh so yeah, that's.
How the opposite thing happened, where I thought someone's name was so ridiculous that it couldn't possibly be their real name, and then I realized it's actually their name. Ya. Because I was like, so, what's your name, They're like, oh, it's right there in my Instagram handle. I was like, oh, that's your name. Yeah, thank goodness that was not a phone call.
Yes, I'm so they get it a lot. I knew a girl named Mary Christmas M Mary like M A R y, And because her last name was that's actually Christmas, I was like, come on, now, your parents.
Didn't know Christmas could be a last name.
Yes, but why are you going to do that to that girl? Mary?
Even imagine a Christmas right now, Merry Christmas. That is sad. But wasn't your sister wasn't she named Christmas? Carol?
Well, her name was Carol because she was born in December like December twenty first. But so she was named after Christmas Carol, which I was like, oh daddy, how Nigerian of you. But at least it's not Christmas. So yeah, but yeah, but her name is Carol. Carl was like, all my business, all of.
It, all of it could have been Rudolph me.
Oh sorry Mary all right.
By the way, I forgot. I was just rereading that question. The woman who had a question about her job. She said she's Nigerian American and she loves, loves loves tipping the budgetista.
Oh that's awesome. I love it.
All right. Well that is our show. I have nothing left to give. We have to end the show. I can't squeezed everything out. Well, thank you so much for another show. Tip.
Thank you, Manja. This honestly has been like my rock. My rock is just a joy. Like I said, you were on my roll card as a one you decide.
I was sweating it. I'm like, oh shit, which.
You And I was like, I really enjoy it. It doesn't feel like it doesn't feel like, oh God, I gotta ta you know, like that's how you know, And it just feels like I know we're gonna laugh and honestly, because well, one half the time I forget that like anybody else is listening, because sometimes I'll say stuff and I'm like, I said that, I'm want a mission because I'm just talking to you. You know. Sometimes we have
to remind each other to start taping, you know. So yeah, it just feels like, oh, you know, once a week I get to talk to my friend Mandy, and sometimes we answer people's questions and we just get to chit chat. It's it's nice, honestly. So I'm just grateful for.
That same group hug. Talk of hug and me both say you need virtual hug. All right, We'll go take care, get some rest, eat some of that spaghetti, and I am going to try not to lie to my therapist this week, yes, and try to figure out some stuff I can say no to. That's my homework, all right, all right too, Yeah,