Hey, Hey, Hey, I tried to do a little cabaret. You know, I don't know. Hey, it's tippity.
Hello, guys, did you miss us? We were only gone for one week, I.
Know, but honestly someone wrote something about they missed me singing. I don't know. I was like, oh, you're probably the only one, but don't be hater se hat im singing. Me and Manny were starting to try to start the show. For like thirty minutes, we were like lamenting over men and food and how they want you to make every sandwich because you have a special sandwich hand apparently.
I mean, it's kind of the tactic that I used so that my husband does the dishes. He'll like unload and load the dishwasher because he thinks I'm really bad at it, and I just you know, let him I purpose. I might do a bad job on purpose, just so he gets outraged enough to do it himself. No, but this whole thing where like I cook really good food. I mean I like to think so, but I like to cook meals like you know, meatballs or spaghetti, or make chicken and vegetables and have it for the week.
But he's just not from that leftover life, Like I am raised by a single mom with four kids, Like we would my mom would make one thing and we would just eat it until we were until we were just so sick of it and it was all gone. But you know, he's from a different household. He had, you know, a mom and an abuela making fresh meals for him every day. Doesn't really go for leftovers anyway. Like, so I decided to forget, I'm not going to cook these big meals because I just end up eating them
myself for weeks at a time. And so I brought home some like bread ham and some damn cheese, and I put together a sandwich for him, and it was like I was just God's gift. I was just like this got and I'm like this this is all atkes, Yes, why have I tried so hard? And then also if this is all it takes, why don't you make a damn ham sandwich exactly? So you have.
A special hand, I'm telling you, like Supeman does not not that he doesn't cook, but he cooks like that man stuff like he calls it. He has this thing called turkey Ronnie, don't I mean? And I was like, what it's literally like it's pasta, so it's almost like spaghetti but ground turkey. And then yeah, and then like I guess sometimes some veggies in it. I don't know he's coming, but the the it's like elbow macaroni. I don't know. It's so it's a hot mess.
And so he hab.
Yeah to that extent, but like I guess he put it together himself, and you can't tell him. When I first met him, he would make a vat of turkey Ronnie and I'm like, what so much so that the neighborhood kids knew mister John made turkey brownie and kids, it's such like a like a kid meal. And I'm like, I mean it's it doesn't taste bad, but it's not the kind of.
Thing like you want to eat every day.
But yeah, No, I felt really good because I was like, I've made dinner tonight. I've not made dinner, and honestly probably two and a half weeks, we like not that we haven't eating dinner, I just have that made dinner. So he was happy that. I was like, He's like, oh, you are on your dean today. I'm like, meanwhile, you didn't even hear about my day and all the things
that I did for business. But because I've got baked chicken in the oven and some yellow rice from a box on the on the stove, I'm on my dean.
So whatever does he usually do the cooking or what's y'all's what's y'all dynamic? Because we cook, we eat separate meals most of the time because I will make a nice meal for myself. I'm trying to create a human person who's got brain cells. So I'm trying to eat all my veggies, and he's like having corn dog street nights in a row.
No we don't, so he's not. I mean he'll cook sometimes, but honestly we will like eat out or order a lot, which I never was that person, but because I just sometimes some days, I just have so much to do and I'm like.
Of course, who has time to cook all day.
Exactly, So I'm trying to get better because it's not obviously that's not ideal. So but like sometimes I'll start, he'll finish, so like he's like I, even though I'm not like the greatest cook, I do season really well. So sometimes I'll season whatever thing we're having, and then when he comes home he'll put it in the oven or whatever. So yeah, I'm trying to get better, but I'm also somebody who hates food chopping, so I'm always scrounging, like, m what does it make?
I get a little salty about this whole thing because we've been arguing more about this whole You know, there's days when I get home super late, and I come home and there's been no thought about what I'm going to have for dinner. I'm literally like creating your future child, and you don't care what I have for dinner. Oh babe, I just had some warmed up pizza or I stopped at you know, Chipotle on the way home. I'm like, so what about me? Yes, drive it? And I'm like,
for me, I care about what he eats. Like I'm kind of turning into my dad where my dad always asks what you what'd you eat good today? And we'll tell him we have some differ lun and I always I always check in on Enrique. I'm like, what'd you have for lunch? Okay, well what do you want for you know? I care about what he eats, and I feel like I'm turning kind of into like a naggy mom. Because I'm like, where do you do you eat a vegetable in your day to day? Like I never see
you eat fruit? Do you like apples? I don't think I've seen you eat an apple in seven or eight years. But it doesn't He's not doing that for me, And I'm like, I want someone to care about me, you know what I eat. But then I talked to my therapist about it and she was all, well, you knew who he was when you married him. And she's like, well, if the best you can do is go to the because he will go to the store. He will, you know, if I badger him enough. But he'll bring back like
frozen things. He doesn't really know how to put a meal together, you know, and it'll be a lot of frozen pizzas and oh my god, he discovered many corn dogs and it's been many corn dogs for a while, or like whatever egg rolls. But he'll bring stuff back. And she was like, if that's all he does when you have the baby, Hebrew goes to the store and brings home frozen meals that you guys can heat up. You have to give him credit. And I'm like, mm hmm,
that sounds very fair, but also not there. Why doesn't he need to learn how to cook? I don't know. I'm struggling with it. I feel like maybe our listeners will have similar experiences, because it just feels like this old school gender dynamic that it's driving me a little crazy.
Yes, and so I will say, Supermann. It is pretty good at not holding me to that to except for when I guess it's gotten to the extreme where he's like, like, we have not had a meal in three weeks, and I'm like, well, Brah, before I got here, who's making food? Oh?
You were.
Let's see how we could go back to that. Although his food, like I said, is so bachelor that I'm like, I don't want it.
That's the way. If I let him cook, it's going to be frozen corn dogs. It has been. I can't be eating that way. Like, you know, he's not going to make me a kale salad or butternut squash soup. That's what I like to eat.
Oh yeah, that's what happened. Girl. You gotta let that go, that problem. Oh no, I don't want to.
Let it go. I want it. I want it.
Speaking of which, how was that baby shower? It looks amazing.
Baby shower was epic. It was ridiculous. Baby shower was ridiculous. So if anyone who's listening from the front who has a background, I don't know if it's like a it's particularly Dominican thing, but the baby showers I've been to from Marique side the family are always like at night, it's a big party. It's like basically kind of a
wedding reception vibe. There's dancing, there's open Barther's food. And so when I was sitting down to plant, not when I was sitting down to plant, but when my mom started asking about the baby shower, I immediately knew what I didn't want, which is like a really boring I've been to way too many boring baby showers that are like on a Sunday afternoon from one to four and you have to sit there and watch, you know, watch someone open onesie after onesie after onesie for two hours straight.
Maybe you play a game, like maybe you have mimosas, and it's just not that entertaining, and I just I didn't want to spend money on that kind of experience for my friends. And so I was like, let me take like, let me really embrace the Dominican side of my family, and so I had my my mom and my sister, who were like two Midwestern white ladies at this point, like they really spearheaded it. But our Dominican my my husband's brother's fiance, Jamilla, who's this angel from heaven.
She's so helpful and so nice, and I was like, you need to be our Dominican ambassador and be sure that they shepherd them through as they planned this shower, and they did such an amazing job. It was in my husband's neighborhood, like blocks from his where his family all lives on Dykeman in Inwood, and this nice restaurant and they had his brother got us a DJ. There was amazing music. The food was like all this Dominican food.
There's open bar. I didn't open a single present. The aunties didn't like that part, but I didn't open a single present. It was beautiful and the best part was at the end. So I haven't told you guys, but like a or two ago, I was at my doctor and we didn't want to know the gender, Like I really didn't care boy or girl, and I really loved the idea of being surprised, you know, at the birth, like having Enrique, you know, run out to the waiting room and be like it's a you know, boy or
girl or whatever. But then my doctor blew it the other day, like about a month ago, just zoomed right in on the ultrasound. I don't have no idea why. I don't know how she forgot. I've been seeing her for nearly a year, and she was like, there's his little manhood. And I was like looking at my son's penis right there on the screen.
So like what I did?
You were like, wait what? It was so many emotions. I was like, I was honestly, honestly devastated. It was the hormones, but I was so sad. But anyway, the bright side was that we decided we were going to do a gender reveal for our moms at the end of the shower. So at the end of the shower, everyone had a great time when we brought out these confetti poppers and we announced I told the story, and then we asked our the two moms, our moms to
come over, and they were just like shake. They were like crying already, and these and these are two women who have been telling me it's a girl. For months, like each of them has their own superstitions, and like they were convinced it was a girl. So I knew it was going to be good. And we got this. We had this really special moment where we do the the gender reveal and it was it was just perfect, perfect, perfect, And were.
They excited when they found it was a boy?
Well, his mom came up. Enrique's mom came over and was like, it's okay, it's a boy, Like she was almost and I think she really wanted a girl. All yeah, honestly, everyone was. I didn't expect the entire party. They just like everyone came in. It was like one massive group hug and it was you know, if I'm going to do it, Honestly, if I was going to do a baby shower, this is exactly the way, like over the top, ridiculous,
and I loved it. It was beautiful. And while I was having that epic moment, you miss queen, were just hosted the party of your life.
Yeah, it was so awesome. Yes, at at the at the Smith Mansion. No it's not a mansion, but my yeah, I had my fortieth. Honestly, it's exactly what I wanted. I wanted the people that I loved and cared about there. If you know me, I'm not really one for the fuss. And but it was nice because Bonda, who did our reception where we had at her restaurant, she's a friend of mine who shut down her restaurant for our reception. She she catered and when I tell you the food
was she put, I mean she outdid herself. The lobster macaroni and cheese was out of this world and it happened to be perfect weather. So she ordered because Vonda doesn't just like cook food when she caters, she does like the whole thing, presentation, decorations, all that kind of stuff. So she ordered what they call hot high hats or high table something like that where it's like the tall kind of like tables with like seats around it. So
I was like, are we gonna need it? You know, because our backyard is fully paid, like whoever lived there before put full papers back there, and so we had four of them. And then Superman's sister like gave us like this, like it's not a money pit. It's almost like a fire. It's not a pit because it's not low, but it's like not a money pit. I'm not to say a fire pit. He gave us like this fire pit thing, so what but it was like so it was just so the weather was perfect outside, she had
food outside. We had a DJ in the basement so you could hear the music upstairs. Like everyone was there, my aunt's, my uncle's Jorelle side of the family. Like some Unicorn Squad members team members came. It just was really really it was like, Tiffany, it's your life, like you know, people from when I was like from high school came, folks from college. So it just was a really good time and I had a really good time. And honestly, I spent like the whole time giving tours
of the house that everyone wanted. It was like a housewarming slash fortieth birthday party. And yeah, it was an awesome time. And I just have to say, honestly, Jermaine and Rihanna Lewis from Remain Home. Their instagram is r E h m A I N Home Remain Home. They are absolutely amazing. They but what look So Jermaine is a is a project manager, and so my contractor was okay, and but Jermaine really made sure he kept on track
because I mean it's like a fellow. We built the house from the ground up, darn near and then Rihanna with the design, she went to direct so she's got her master's in design, and she didn't just help design like rooms or where things should be, but she went as far like planters and this is a really nice like bookshelf that should be here. And then because they live around the corner from us, came and like hung things up the night before we transformed like the whole
house with hanging up anything that was left over. We stayed up till two or three o'clock in the morning the night before getting the house ready for the party, and so did they, and they came over the next morning the morning of the party to help. Again, they are above and beyonders. They have become such great friends of ours. Yeah, they are amazing. I always tell people and they're like, would you hire your contractor Again, I'm like, maybe,
but not with our remain home. So yeah, they're they are absolutely amazing for like a design.
Yeah, it just got to use like a lot of it for the party too, which was you know. I mean that's the reason you buy a house, right is too interest in it so.
Yeah, and I wanted, like, you know, I missed it because when I was in my when I lived in my condo, my kinda was like a gathering spot for when I was single, me and my girlfriends, we'd have girls night in and and my sisters would come over all the time. So I missed Our apartment was so small before where we were living in the Halfway Hood.
And so now we've got this beautiful house where I just want people to come over, like Superman's siblings come over, My siblings come over, my niece and my nephew come over all the time. And I love it that we can have a house full of like family, friends and love. And so yeah, it was awesome. And I forgot to tell you, but you know, I want to go see the Harriet movie. So my friend Cynthia Rivo is in it.
She is Harriet, and I'm not gonna I was nervous because I was like, either way, i'm gonna be like it was great. So I was practicing my it was great face, you know, Yeah, but honestly it was great. It was really good.
Yes, we didn't we didn't get her the twenty dollars bill. Con you please not mess up her movie.
I know, but we know what I It was really good. It was touching, It was sad, but bigger than everything else. It was so inspiring and inspirational. I didn't leave feeling like like twelve Years of Slave was amazing, but it also was devastating.
Oh my god, I left the week to.
Recover what like, I'm still not recovering.
I ruined. It ruined movies for a lot of people, like movies about slavery. Like people were like, that's the last one I'm never gonna see.
I was broken, like bro I was hysterical in the movie theater, but this I did not lead that way. I left feeling like I left the Beyoncee concert. I was like, who won the world?
Girls?
Like? I felt so empowered? Honestly, Mandy, I was like, what else can I do for my people? What can I do for women? How can I be better?
Like it was?
And I love that feeling because it didn't sugarcoat slavery and all the horrific things that happened. But what it did was through Harriet and her story. What made you realize is that despite that, there is courage, there is strength, there is grace, There is it just she's Harry, I'm truly a superhero. Yeah. I mean, you know, I can't speak for everybody else, but I really enjoyed it. And from the vibe that I felt when the lights came on,
everyone really enjoyed it. It didn't leave you feeling sad and left you feeling like what can I do?
So yeah, all I wanted to hear because I was trying to convince two of my friends who listen to the show actually to go, and they're both just like, now we're not what we're done with slave movies. And I could tell from the previous it's much more than a slave movie. Like, first of all, in slave movies,
typically they tend to run an African American character. Yes, Lupita was was one of the central figures in Twelve Years of Slave, but it really was about Chiwadell Edgiafor's character, right, and and it just feels like and often you see I don't know it just it's you don't see. And even Black Panther again, so many fabulous women, strong characters, but that was like a nice surprise the real character
was Black Panther. Uh. Anyway, So to have a movie focus on the female like a female slave who came out of that situation and went back, like to the courage to go back and bring people with you. I keep thinking about she posted the Cynthia posted on Instagram that song that she wrote. Does she co write over or something?
Yes, and tell you at the end it's still I was like, this is my song, I said, I told myself. I'm like, oh my god, it made I remember I used to like kind of like finally say like whatever I used to do, like an online ask that like the reason why I teach so much is when it comes to financial education, and the reason why I do so much for free is that I remember distinctly like praying quite honestly that God, if you'll teach me, I
promise I'll help others. And like I used to say, like I want to be the Harriet Tubman of a financial education. But I mean, I say a tongue in cheek, but honestly, no, I do that. I feel like that as I get free, I can't be free if I'm not if I'm not going back for other people. And so that's how the Budgetista was built from that sentiment of going back and helping others. Someone helped me and honestly, yeah,
go see Harry. Honestly, I'm so inspired. I'm actually trying to figure out what the city I want to I
want the budgetista to to buy out a theater. It's like maybe like fifteen hundred dollars ish, So I want to buy out a theater to maybe have like high school seniors or I'm trying to figure out what group should should because Newark has like a theater that Shock owns, so I'm trying to think like what group to invite to see how tickets it includes, because I know there's about eight hundred high school seniors in the city of Newark, so I don't know how big the theater, but that's
what I want to do. I want to buy out a theater and then and then buye, like you know, a specific group of probably students to go watch the Harriet movie. Yeah, that's how inspired I was. I was like, no, it needs to be seen that you are capable of so much more than you even you know, you even know, and that that if you're waiting to not be afraid to make a move, like you're gonna have to move fearful, fearfully, like, that's what you really learned that like those people who
make history happen, it's not because they were fearless. It's because they move despite the fear. And so yeah, go see that movie Shackle.
November first, right, yep, that Friday. Okay, done, Dragon Husbey, Dragonhusbe. Oh, that's great. Congrats to Cynthia. Love her. She crushed me in color purple.
Okay, and she sings in a movie too, so her voice, of course is like an angel.
She does. She's so annoying and good. I'm really sorry for you being her friend least from I could be a fan. I don't have to, like, you know whatever, I know.
Right, I'm like just anywhere perfect India. Of course, she's like a perfect shape.
And she's like she has a beautiful accent. Shall we get to some questions? Yeah, okay, awesome questions today again. You guys can hit us up on the gram. We're at Brandabission Podcast on Instagram, or you can send us an email directly brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. Our website is also out there. You can go to brandimission podcast dot com and click ask us anything to shoot us your questions. Let's take you guys with your
car problems. We have to take this question because I feel like we get a lot of questions from people who are in car debt autodet, and we all know how I feel about it. I just think Autodet's crushing people. But we're not here to judge. We are here to help. So let's take a question from Instagram user. We'll call her Portia. All right, she says, Hey, ladies, I've gotten myself into a pickle. I have a new car that I knew when I bought it that I didn't really
want to take on this financial burden. I did it anyway. I was so scared of getting a used Lemon car that I went ahead and got a more expensive used one. Come to December. This December, my credit will be one hundred points higher than when I bought the car, so I plan to refinance it. But that's if I decided to keep it. I've been contemplating lately doing a voluntary repossession. I remember Tiffany said that Superman did a voluntary repo. So I want to know does voluntary repot negatively infact
impact your credit, and if so, for how long. So she's got this car that she can't afford. She could potentially refinance her auto loan because her credit has improved since she got it, but she's like, the car payments are so high that she's considering just giving it up altogether. Tiff.
So, yeah, so I will say that. I mean, well, here's one thing for sure, when you your credit score will likely take a hit if you do a voluntary repossession. But bigger than that, if you're doing a voluntary repossession, you you're going like you're still going to owe. So that was a hard part for man is that he had to give the car back but there was still a balance. So you're paying this balance, but you have no car, So you have to kind of mentally prepare for that fact.
Because so he let's just say the car was fifty thousand dollars and he he, you know, sent it back and they were like, we're gonna give you. He ended up having a five thousand dollars ballance forty five thousand dollars for it. There was that five thousand dollars balance that he had to pay because so what he ended up doing was he took a loan from his credit union so that way he wouldn't owe he wouldn't like the interest rate on what he owed wouldn't be as high,
so he took a loan from his credit union. They paid you know, the car dealership. That's what he sent it back to. But he's still owed. Like like I said that that five thousand dollars balance that he had to just pay until he paid it off. He's glad
he did it. I mean, he was bitter in the beginning because you know whatever, but you know, I told him, I'm like, you know, it's either I don't know if you guys remember, but his his car note was like nine hundred dollars a month, a full mortgage that did not include insurance, and then his insurance was like you know, another I don't even know. But he was paid like literally a mortgage a month. He had one of those Yukon's analogy, you know, like those big cars. You know, yeah, yeah so.
But but it's also the reason he ended up owing is because when you when you voluntary give up your car, the dealership or the lender, whoever owns it is gonna try and sell it. And if they can't sell it, if they can't sell it, ad enough value to cover your out standing loan, then you'll basically owe the balance.
Right, Yes, But but here's the thing, like, well, I'm assuming you're she's not late, So let me not say for sure that the voluntary repossession is gonna it's gonna affect your credit because a lot of times people do voluntary repossessions because they've missed. And I didn't hear her say that she hasn't missed any any payments.
Correct, it doesn't sound like it. But the repo itself, that will go on your credit report like it's one of it's like your miss payments would, but also just like the fact that you've repote it. But honestly, if it's a trade off, like if you feel like you're getting close to the point where you're gonna start missing payments, that would end up your credit too.
So it's almost like you know, it's it's it's a give, it's a lesser of two evils things. Yeah, and you ultimately should do what's best for your finances moving forward, and if that means getting up the car, take that.
And sometimes I say sometimes sometimes it's like you have to take the little L so you don't have to take the big L later because there are moments as an adult where either way you're taking it l you know, like L as in loss with some of y'allre like what you know, So either way you're going to take a loss. So do you have to sometimes ask yourself, like, well,
which loss is less of a loss? And you know it might be you know, giving your car back, paying off whatever that balance is that that wasn't able to be recouped from the sale of your car, and then rebuilding. You're like, you know, credit honestly is not the hardest
thing to rebuild. It's just making all time payments. If you can pay off a credit card in full every month by swiping Netflix on it or something, that's going to help tremendously, and then you'll be back versus dragging out, like having a car that you really can't afford to the point where you actually can't afford it, and then you're late and now it's not a voluntary repossession, it's just a repossession because you haven't made payments.
Yep. She mentions refinancing her auto loan, and that could be a solution, especially if the payments are so high that she's struggling with them, and maybe I don't know exactly what her APR is, but it sounds like her credit was pretty poor. Maybe she thinks she's going to get a better interest rate, says her credit score is
going to be one hundred points higher soon. But my thoughts on refinancing is often when people refinance her auto loans, they're tempted to draw out the repayment period because if you extend your loan over a longer period of time, your monthly payments will go down. But you have to think about how much interest rate you're adding to the cost of that loan over time. And it's it may temporarily improve your cash flow, and that could be fine, you know, but you have to then think you're not
really are you really saving money each month? No, yeah, because it's very likely that you're just adding to your cost by spreading it out over many months. So as best you can just try to get try to get the you know, the all of all of the ducks in a row, like where you have a payment you can afford at a decent interest rate and not a crazy long repayment term to do that so that you're you're not giving the bank any more money than you absolutely have to.
And just remember, like moving forward, getting a car. Honestly, I've never had well, when I was in college, my dad got looks like a least So I guess that's the closest to like a new car that I've had, but I've never owned own a brand new car. That that that the best way to go, Like, I'll never ever get a brand new car. Instead, you can I get it that, You're like, I don't want to. There's a different there's a there's a everybody thinks like you got a huged car has to be like a putt putt,
you know, like a lemon. Then I have to get a new car. There's something in between. You can get a car that's two years old. That's what I have now. Well, when I got it, and it was certified pre one, meaning that they brought it up to speed as a new car. And what's so great about that is that certified pre oonne means that there's typically a warranty and it ranges. I would say, what I typically see it is like one hundred thousand miles or like six years
or sometimes ten years. So what that means is like my husband, now his car was making some noise, so he too has a certified pre owned car and it was making some noise dropped it after the dealership they gave him a loaner and they're like, oh, it's the gasket and the dada, but whatever, he's gonna pay nothing because it's certified pre onn That means all of those things are covered, and they they've certified that for I think it's six years up to one hundred thousand miles,
and so he's still has like four more years on it, and his car only has thirty thousand miles, So seventy thousand miles or four more years, whatever comes first, anything that has to do with like the interior of the car, that things that are like covered by the warranty, which is most things. Then it's not like if he gets to flat tire, he has to pay for that. Obviously he doesn't have to pay for that. And so that's
what I would suggest to people. Certifi pre own is like my babe, because you get to take the edge off of depreciation by not getting a brand new car, but you still get the flavor of a brand new car because your car is typically a year or two or max. Three years old, but you've got you've got a warranty that really covers your car.
Fully, that's what I warranty that are.
I can't remember it was either it's either six years. I think it might be six years, not ten years, but I have seen that ten years, but I think it's six years certified six years up to I want to say one hundred thousand miles, but I don't. I don't remember eat actly. But like the only thing of the reason why I came up is because literally today he was like, I had to drop off the car. I was making some noise and asked, well, what did they say? He said they were telling him this and
this and this and that. He's like, okay, whatever, and he was like, you know, I was like, you know what, what do you have to pay? He's like, I just asked him to oil change, So I just have to pay for the oil change. And I was like, chitching, That's why I love me A certified pre own.
Yeah, that's an amazing warranty. All right, Well, thank you very much for your question. Let's take one more. This one comes from an Instagram user who'd like to remain anonymous. She says, I recently found out I'm pregnant and I was wondering about starting a baby savings fund. Do you guys think this is necessary? If so, how much money should be saved before baby gets here? We have ten k saved in an emergency fund and plan to pay at least thirty K and loans before the baby arrives.
Our money is being stretched thin with a new house, loans, et cetera. But we're trying to get our life together. Thanks you too, love listening to you. Oh girl, I can identify a ten K. Say, that's awesome. You got a plan to pay off thirty K and loans before the baby arrives. That is also awesome. Let's see me not being a financial planner. What do I think is important?
I think it's important that you guys focus on problems in front of you right now, which obviously the loans and paying off debt is a form of savings, to be honest. At the same time, though ten thousand dollars isn't a you know, it's not a bad start for an emergency fund. I don't. And in fact, if your cost of living is such that that really is something like you know, a year's worth of of you know, monthly expenses or a half a year or whatever. It's
not a bad start at all. It really comes down to take a look at what it takes you guys to live. Add in this is what my financial planner told me to do. Add in any additional cost for
the child. So kind of do a rough estimate of things like food and oh my god, thousands of diapers and childcare should you need childcare the first year and add that to your your monthly you know, essentials in terms of like here's what we need to live, and then multiply that by she told us by a year, by twelve months, and she said when you have a kid, she really encourages people to have a fund save for a full year. And for us, I was a certain number.
For you guys might be a little bit different. That being said, you know, ten k' is a good start. I want to I want to say, paying off your debt is just going to make you feel so much more prepared for the baby. This year, I told you, guys, you know, we had a we had a zero percent interest credit card that we used for a lot of stuff for the house that we were chipping a. We had a plan to chip it away but as soon
as I got pregnant, that car drove me nuts. I hated it, and I was not happy until that car was done. And we finished it like six minutes early, six months early, and it just gave me peace of mind to have that out of the way. I don't have a five to two nine plan setup. I don't have an investment fund for my future child at all. We're focusing on and we're focusing on almost, We're not almost.
We're focusing on increasing our emergency fund, a factor in the additional cost of childcare, which we hopefully won't have to pay for next year, but for twenty twenty. And that's the focus for now, just that cash fund. And I think, you know, I think I have time. I'm not putting so much pressure on myself to have an
investment fund set up. Maybe I'll start one just so that the grandparents can start contributing to it, but I'm more I'm I would be more worried about the fund that will support our family if the worst happens, you know, if our income goes away, so we won't have to rely on credit cards and other loans and the all the fancy and you know, investment funds and stuff that can come a little bit later. It'll be it'll be fine. That's my philosophy. But I'm not thinking.
Fancy, right because one of the things I'm like looking into, like I'm like, you know, like a simple target date fund for like your you know, like this is like a so not for like currently for the baby, but like if you're like, you know what we want to put aside one hundred bucks a month, and you know, target date funds usually, so usually target date funds are typically for like retirement, but they don't have to be right, so you can do just a regular investment target date
fund for your child. So you're like, oh, my child is one or two or ten or whatever, and then you choose the target date and usually they're like usually the like say it's like Vanguard, they'll have the target date. They'll actually say two thousand and sixty five, two thousand and seventy, so usually it's like five year increments. And so you'll say, like, okay, maybe the target date fund, you're wanting it for college, so you add, you know, your child is one, so you're like, okay, in eighteen
years or fifteen years or whatever. You know, I want to have access to this money, but not even I want access, because if it's a regular investment account, you can always have access. But what it does is that you know you can put money in their monthly or
or when however often that you want. And what's so great about a target date fund is that every balance is itself at least once a year based upon the age of the person, well not so much the age of the person, but of when the actual target date is. Because the closer you get to the target date, the
less risky your investments get. So in the beginning, if your target date is twenty years away, you're likely going to be more heavily invested into stocks, and the closer you get to the target date, it's probably going to be closer closer and more heavily invested into bonds. But
you don't have to worry about all that. You're just putting your two hundred bucks a month in and it's going to invest for you and balance itself for you, and by the time your kid is fifteen or eighteen or whatever, you have like this money that you set aside, and it's done better than a savings account, and you didn't have to worry about like shifting around investments because
it's done it for you. So I tell people, putting money in the target date fund is just as easy as putting money in a savings account, So why not just do that, you know, But that's for like I said, for long term stay, long term growth and investment for your baby.
And the thing with the five two nine plan tree member is that you know you could only use those expenses for education. You can. You can now use it to pay for K through twelve, like if you want to send them to a private school, it can help pay for that tuition. But still, like if you if your kid doesn't go to college, you have to find another way to use that money for education. You can't. It's the only way you can transfer it to another child,
and it's kind of anyway. So that's that's the downside. So I agree. I mean, if you're going to try and invest, you could just open an iray, you know, or a brokerage account or whatnot and start investing that way for your kid. There's a lot of good articles out there on like pros and cons of you know, of roth iray versus a five two nine plan. And I'll try and share some links in the show notes for you guys.
Yeah, I'm so nervous about by two nine plans right because I'm just like, oh, what if my kid, I mean, even though I know you can use it for like education now, like you know, but I'm like, what if I you know, who knows what college is going to be?
Am I selfish for thinking that? Sorry to interrupt you, Okay, Am I selfish for thinking all we do is interrut each other? What are we talking? What am I talking about? Talk over each other the whole time? Anyway? Politely? I I part of me is like, I'd rather isn't my kid gonna be a genius? Won't they get scholarships? Like you know, I figured out how to pay for school. I part of me is sort of like, I'm not so worried about, you know, completely financing I'm not. I
just won't completely finance college education. I mean there are other I just know there's so many ways, or hopefully there will still be ways for to you know, subsidize the cost of education if you get good grades and you look for scholarship opportunities, Like I don't want to. I don't want to put that pressure all on me and and part of my part of the you know, the way that I was that I was raised, you know, my I I grew up financially insecure for my parents,
Like I was really worried all the time. But my parents' finances I still am. It's something that still worries me, and I feel like I need to be financially It drives a lot of my motivation for being financially independent. Part of me, like when I think about what I want to give my child, the gift to them that they probably will never appreciate, but I will because what I went through. I want to give them the knowledge that mom and Dad are okay, Like the knowledge that
we are financially sound. They don't have to worry about us. All they have to do is worry about themselves. And I so when I'm approaching my future financially and I kind of talk to my financial advisor about this and my therapist a little bit, but I want to make sure that my husband, like we are right, you know, that our finances are in good shape, that our lives are rich and whole. And maybe it makes me sound selfish and maybe I'm not articulating it right but do
you kind of get what I'm saying? Like I want to set a really good financial foundation for us, so that my kid can succeed on their own merit and not have to worry about us later. Am I a terrible parent?
Now? No? No, because I does. I feel like that's how That's how Superman feels. Because here's the thing. To me, the best gift a parent can give a child is not to be right now actually dependent on them when they get older.
Yeah, And I think the only reason I'm successful is because I really I knew I did not have a damn safety net. There was no net waiting for me. I had to I had to do it, and I don't. And kids who grow up with that sense of comfort that there's going to be someone, you know, to pick them up, or some money to fall back on, or some inheritance, I just don't think they try as hard. Maybe that's a bad stereotype, but that's that's where my head's out. What do you think.
I think? I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I mean, I I'm really I was always really if it was good to know. I mean up until like really like recently that I didn't have to worry about my parents financially. Then my mom retired like a little earlier than anticipated, and then there was a little bit of stress there because we were like, Okay, so how are we going to help them manage so
because here's the thing. Your kid figuring out college when they're eighteen, ninet to twenty, they have many years ahead of them. If by the time they're in college, you used to be winding down and figuring out your own retirement. And if you're if they're now thinking like, well, how am I going to manage my life now? I also got to take care of my parents financially. No, put
your mask on first. I really if you had to choose between your child's college education and your retirement, I say hands them always your retirement because college educations can be figured out a myriad of ways. Your retirement. You know, you don't want to be like, I've got five years left. We got to make a miracle happen, Like no, no, no, no, put your mask on first, just like they tell you on a flight.
That's kind of what I'm getting at. Yeah, so just making sure that you're financially signing to the listener who asked about the baby fund. You know, they have this debt that's weighing on them. You know, setting your kid up so that you guys don't have debt is sort of a gift in and of itself, and at least you know you have a decent enough emergency fund to handle, you know, a few setbacks, and it's not like you're
completely being vulnerable. So paying off that debt and then trying to replenish or keep adding to your emergency fund to the point where you you know, get to get it beefed up now that you have the additional expense of a kid coming, I think that's a fair priority versus putting money into a college fund. You know you can,
It's on my list that would probably come third. But if you're truly worried about it, you can do what I did, which is, you know, chat with a financial advisor and they can kind of help honestly verify what you already know sometimes but point you in in the right direction for for the near future.
So now it's time to do just to break with all our b a family, were gonna booth, were gonna break. What we're gonna do.
Mandy, you always set me up, even though we know Tiffany also rhymes that's ship.
Well, I don't want to say, well, we're gonna do Tiffany because it's.
Like, you know, I'm leave so convenient.
No, I'm trying to think I got another brown ambish and running. What was it? Girl? I want to tell you in these streets, they're.
Loving this podcast.
It's so awesome for people to want to be like, I love you, I love Mandy, I love the podcast. Or they'll say something podcasting and I'm like, you listen because I amach feel like it's just me and you talking, and I'm like, oh, people listen. So that's been happening a lot lately. So yeah. Literally, a woman ran up to me and she gave me a hug and was like, oh, oh I forgot. I forgot, And that's how I knew instantly she was like a listener.
So are you saying that you love hugs now and you will accept them on the street. No, that's what you're saying.
I don't hate hugs. I don't hate hugs because dreamcatchers are not creepy. I have to say I haven't met anyone that's made me feel like girl, but women tend not to be creepy, thankfully, so so no, I don't hate hugs. I mean, hugs are not my fabe, but you are definitely warming me up. And honestly, I do love the love. That's one thing I do love. It's just I love how much you know you guys are like and then it'll be funny because they're like and this one's for bandy, Like, Okay.
I'll take a hug, just don't rub my bump.
Yeah, that is so rude. So if you don't mind, I can. I can go back if you want me to.
That's fine. I'll go first, just to be fair. It's cool. My I don't know all I can think, and I was kind of trying to tell Tiffany this all I can think right now. And I knew after the baby shower it would kind of be like it was like the thing I was looking forward to, and then as soon as it ended, it would be like the other side of the baby shower. We feel so much closer to the fact that baby's coming soon. So I'm down to five weeks and I am something has I've done
all this prep and I keep trying. I've been done all this prep work. I've been seeing my therapist who specializes with new moms. I've been you know, working on my transition plan for work, and something about this week, I just feel like I don't have enough time, Like I'm starting to get a little frazzled. I'm starting to get anxious. I'm texting my husband like he's like, what's wrong with you? Relax? And I'm just like, we don't have the right basinet yet. We don't have this, we
don't have that, and I I don't know. Maybe it's just I don't know the fact that I'm far along in my pregnancy, but I'm I don't know how to I need to get a grip. I need to get a massive grip. So my boost or sorry, my break is just for my own anxiety. And I was just trying to give myself a pep talk after I got off work and be like, listen, if you were a girlfriend, you would remind them of all the steps they've taken to be prepared for this baby, and you would not
be freaking out like you are. But I am. It's like and I was at a meeting today at work and it was this like women and leadership at my company kind of pow wow, And I kind of went off on them because I felt like I'm not super supported with all the maternity leave stuff at my company, Like it's a little convoluted, it's a little confusing, and I'm looking at my calendar and I'm like, I only have a month left to figure out my my, my
benefit plan and all that kind of stuff. And I mean, it was probably good for me to give them that feedback, but it's just little things like that I are just not like totally figured out. And I don't have a pediatrician yet, and I know I was supposed to do that by now. And anyway, I'm sure this is just like coming off as rambling, but I'm going a little
Nutso so maybe you guys can help me. And if you were going to give me, like what are the what are like the five things I can do this week that will make me feel less insane, like less ill prepared? You did that mom box is legit. I've had moms. I had a couple of moms visiting me, like friends of mine, and they were like going, they were like, this is perfect for new moms.
I was, so, you have no idea. I was like researching, researching. I was asking I had asked all the unicorn moms because we have, like come, just had a baby less a year ago, Tamper's baby's like two, we have like so I was just asking all these moms and they were giving me like a list of things like girl nipple cream and and I vaguely remember like a year ago.
I was like, wait, there was like a box that had like all of this stuff that you wouldn't think that you knew, because I was like, you're gonna get enough onesies, enough, like because I brought at first, I bought this cute and I'm still gonna send it to you, but I bought this cute little like elephant blanket with a little elephant attached to this all. But and I'm like, okay, but man's gonna have ten thousand of these like cute little things. But like, what about for you?
And ice packed from my vagina?
For real? What about that?
Because I opened that and I was like, yes, yes, I will be split in half. You're right, I do need this vagina shape. I was so excited.
I was like wait, and so I googled like mom survival kid, first time mom, and then mom mobs popped up and that's what I remember. I remember, this is what it was. So I got you one and Taylor, you should have gotten it by now. Taylor, Well, you know Taylor, Taylor Cathley. Do you know she's pregnant?
Wait, Taylor who?
Taylor or Taylor who? From Elevate she wrote for Oh, Taylor Warden cong Taylor Hay she knew about around the same time. And yes, I think she's moving to Germany. I don't know. It's a lot anyway, I said, I sent Taylor a mom box as well, because so many moms were like I remember when when Drina had Gabe and my sister Carol had just had whoever came first, but they were like I remember her saying, girl, you
gotta ny nipple cream. Girl, you like all these random things that you're like what, And so I just was excited to get something that was gonna be for you because there's gonna be plenty of things for baby, and things that were really gonna be like yes, that were really gonna be for real, that was really gonna be like helpful like that. You were like I never even thought of this, like I you know, like I didn't realize like extra hospital underwear and all these kind of things.
So I was like, yeah, I'm so glad you like it.
It's perfect. And I was looking on the website. They have one for people who are planning a C section because they have all kinds of other issues. No, I really, it's a it's a. It was such a sweet gift. Thank you.
Andy got sent me some really beautiful flowers. Honestly, they were gorgeous.
Oh good. It's hard because you don't get to see them, so you know, I went local. It was someone that it was a florist in Newark.
No, it was perfect. It was. They were so beautiful that I ended up for the party making them like a centerpiece and then getting other similar bouquets. And I usually as a picture, like I want four other bouquets for the tables. So they were like beautiful. And I love autumn covers, so let's I love that stuff in here.
I know you guys are like, okay, no, you need to hear me complain, but seriously, though, if you have any tips or struct or you just want to tell me.
Girl.
I was freaking out too, and I survived. I feel like we're prepared but it's just it's just it's coming, man. Five weeks, five short weeks, or as everyone has been telling me. I feel like everyone who ever delivered early has been telling me their stories this week, and I'm like, can you please not tell me these? I did not.
I've never entertained the idea of delivering early, but now I'm freaking out that I'm just going to go into labor, like on the flight home tomorrow, and then what am I going to do?
I'll say this, so just remember this because I remember when I went to go visit my sister and she, you know, I had to tell her. Okay, so remember that your husband is also a new parent, So just keep that in mind.
What does that mean that they can help too?
No, but meaning that, like because she was snappish and I was like, oh, be nice.
Oh at him? Oh yeah, he did have the audacity to get sick this weekend, And I was like, mother, what is wrong with you? Go get First of all, hasn't gotten a flu shot yet, should have done that already. Second of all, had the audacity to get ill. I had to take care of him this weekend, and I'm like, I would dare you can't you microwave for your own soup. We don't have a best at that yet.
Like, just remember that that like gonna seem like it's me against the world, and it's like, well, you know you're not the only new parent in the mix, and that you know that it's also scary and stressful and everything for him too, And it's hard because you know, especially if you're gonna breastfeed, it's really hard because you know, like baby is like I don't know who that guy
is you with the boobs come here? And so that part is like a little bit difficult because you know, men want to help, but there's only so much when babies are like do you have boobs? Okay?
Then go on you is this with me? Am I feeling better after this?
Or I'm just like you know that, like it's gonna be easy to be frustrated with him, but just understanding that both of you are new parents, that you're not the only new parent and so I.
Can't verbally abuse him. Got it.
For a minute, I was just like okay, dually knowing it. But now honestly, it's so awesome, like to see them like they're so like we visited them, they're so you know, and like I said in the beginning, everyone's feing out the babies like where am I? Where am I? Parents are like who am I? Where am I? And then it gels and then one day you're like, we got this.
So yeah, okay, thanks letting me, let me, let me get off my chest.
And I was gonna be so in love honestly, like I my niece and my nephews, I'm like, oh my god, when they leave, I'm like totally, like I can't imagine, like the love of your own child. You're going to be like so in love, so that will outweigh any other feeling of like fear and this and that and you know, but yeah, blister, well did it have nipple chapstick in there or whatever that is?
Nipple cream? Yes, thank you very much for that. I put on my registry. People don't want touch that. Apparently.
I was like, I'm getting thank you.
My boob, say thank you in advance.
All right, So I am going to boost as well, because like, I can't remember what the question was the last time we recorded where, but I remember our answer was about thinking audaciously and thinking big and practicing speaking the thing you went out loud. So I spoke something out loud during our last recording and it like came true,
and I was like, WHOA. So I didn't even remember so what it was, I can't remember, Like I said, whatever the question was, and I think, like I said, the solution was, I said, say it out loud, speaking out loud, think audaciously, and I said, my big, crazy, wild, audacious goal is I have a children's book, Molly Moore, that had written. The illustrations are done, we're just finishing up the graphic design. So my big audacious goal was Molly Moore, my children's book that I just finished writing,
my first one. For it to be a billion dollar business, for it to have its own for Molly to have her own TV show, merchandise, a book series, just like, for basically Molly Moore to be the next door. That's my big, crazy, audacious goal. So I said it as an exercise to the BA listener that wrote in their question about I guess how to think big, or something to that effect. Don't you know somebody I won't say
the network. I'm sorry she's listening. Hey girl, don't you know somebody from a huge, huge, huge I don't think it's cable. I don't know what they call it because I don't watch TV. A huge network reached out said, heard about your book, interested in talking about you know, potentially developing into a show, and I was like, wait, what book A site, unseen book, unread all And it
was just such a good lesson that I'm here. I am trying to teach a lesson to the b a listener, and I'm learning a lesson for myself, because the truth is, I said it about Molly Moore, but I don't know if I really believed it. I was just saying it. And what it did was I was learning the lesson myself.
And that's really my boost in that thinking and speaking and acting audaciously really does work, and we as women especially have to practice it because we are really taught to remain small, to be polite, to take as little space as possible in this world. And you don't have to. There's nothing wrong if you're like you want something big
and huge and ginormous. You never know who's listening. So I mean honestly, like literally she hit me up in my in my in my ig DMS and literally said, heard you on Brown Ambition, heard about your children's book. I love financial education and what you're doing. Let's talk about what it might look like to develop that into a show. And I'm like, is this real life? Is this real life?
I love it? So you never know who's listening when you speak out loud too, and we have you know, it's it's kind of like the importance of networking. When we have this audience, we have the show, you never know who's listening. So you know, by speaking, you just you just throw it out there and you just never know what's going to come back to you. So I love that, that's the message.
Yeah, so that was just really great. Honestly, I just felt really good about that, and I just I was like I had to share because I wasn't expecting that, and yeah, just now I'm all excited. And so one of the things I've learned after ten years of business is typically when an opportunity comes up like this, like something big, it's usually it's usually the initial like the initial thing is not the thing, it's like the thing before the thing. That's what I call it, meaning like
it's there to say get ready. So it might take a year before this relationship develops into something, or maybe it'll be another network. I don't know, but I do know that rarely when something big comes up, is it the initial thing that it's usually the thing to say, Hey, Tiffany, this thing is coming. This is a reminder get ready now.
So it's just like you know, and that's how I've learned sometimes to manage disappointments, because sometimes you know something will happen and it's like, oh, it didn't happen, and that's not true. That thing was there to prepare me for what was coming forth in the future. And so just keeping that in mind too that oftentimes, you know, it's easy to get disappointed when you don't get what you want in your first go round, not realizing that
it wasn't there for that. It was merely just like a like a flare gun being flared up to say, hey, here, I am the thing that you're that you're wishing and wanting and working toward. It's going to happen, but I need you to like get in alignment.
Now, fingers crossed. I don't care having a boy. He's gonna be a Molly Moore fan. I want the T shirt, I want the backpack, the stuffed animal, all that.
I can't wait. Did I did I ever show I showed you Molly Moore, but I haven't showed you the cover. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna sound.
A little fro. Yeah, it's so cute.
Honestly, I'm just I just can't wait. You know, you just know, I just feel it in my bones that like I just I want, like, you know, not just it's not just for little brown girls. It's really just for kids in general to start laying the foundation and for parents to have the tools and resources. Like I literally was just adding, like like literally, there's a section and it says, hey, adult and I break down based
upon the core Career in standards. These are the nationwide standards that have been created by educators to say, hey, every school in the nation has to adhere to these standards that by first grade kids should know this, by kindergarten kidshould know this. So I aligned it with those standards so you and I tell you that this book is going to teach rhyming and counting and all these other wonderful things. And then I say, here are some questions to ask your child, and here's how to turn
that question into a writing activity, a reading activity. A speaking activity, so I really take like teacher Tiffany really shines at the back of the book, so you it's not just a book for you. This is a tool to really stretch and grow your child. So I'm really excited about that component.
Can't wait. When's the pub date? Do you have a Is it next year?
Yes, it's It's tentatively January twenty twenty, so we should be going to print in like a couple of weeks. So if we go to print and it looks good, then we could just print them, which I'm excited about. I chose I know, I specifically chose a is a woman owned a woman owned, yes, women owned publishing company because someone asked me in my DMS it's Wyse Inc.
Shout out to Dara. What I love about Why's Inc. Is that it's the perfect hybrid of what I wanted traditional publishing they typically own your stuff, but then self publishing me, you have to do everything I wanted a publishing company that was somewhere in the between. And Lovey my friend love shout out to love Though. For Muna Luci Bridel magazine cover, she looks amazing. Go to her,
go to her insta anyway. So she's the one who told me about whys Inc. And it's a hybrid and that I get ownership or I have to pay for all my things, but then they help me with distribution and and help me with like layout and all these other things that a traditional publisher would, but I just pay out a card. So it's the perfect for what I'm looking for for this book. It's the perfect blend
of personal responsibility but professional assistant. So if you're looking for that kind of mix, then Wyse Inc. Is awesome.
So excited I know, all right, Well that is the show.
Guy.
Thank you for listening. And to those of you who pointed out there was a glitch in an episode or two ago. You guys missed some of Tiffany's rant against Snoop Dogg. I'm gonna fix that right now, said go back. I think it's episode one ninety three. Go back and hear her read Snoop Dogg. I'm so sorry because it was well worth to listen. I will fix that right away. I love that
I read against Snoop Doog.