Hey, hey, Hey, I feel a fresh We're back, We're black, we're brown ambition.
Hey hey, Mandy, Hey, I need my own thing. You're hey. Hey hey, I'm just saying hey.
So up, Hey, it's up.
Hi.
You had a big weekend.
I did.
I went to Chicago for Lovey's wedding. She married this awesome guy named Carnell. It was cute because his last name is Jones, so the hashtag was love Jones.
Get it?
Does anyone not know who love he is at this point?
Those who might be living under a rock.
But we call her cultural icon.
Yeah, she's a social comment her and so yes, that's what I would call her, like if you have to call her anything.
But she's a writer.
She's an awesome podcast, two of them. She just Yes, she's a social commentar and people typically hire her to share kind of like what many of us are thinking but would not dare to say.
And she's like, I'm going to.
Say it professional hot taker.
Yes, no, but honestly it was it was dope because Superman came with me. It was in the shy of course, it was rainy and cold, except for the day we were leaving.
I was like, oh, that's great.
But it was nice because she had a mixer. She had a traditional wedding, which Superman had never been to, and then she had what we call the white wedding, which just because she wears the white dress, so she had the traditional in the white wedding on the same day.
So that's what I was waiting to see a picture of her in the traditional. Oh it was the same day. Yeah, I saw that.
Well, how was it the same day?
But it's been like a twelve hour wedding because the traditional wedding takes I went to one before and it was like, well, I mean it was supposed to be from four to ten, but to start till like eight o'clock.
Yeah, that's about right. It said, we're not doing niage time Nigerian times.
For those unfamiliar, it's like it's like a it's the extension of.
CP time, like way extended way.
So CEEP time is like, oh, half an hour, forty five minutes, maybe an hour. NIGEA time is straight two, three, four or five hours. But no people people largely came on time because she said we're not playing that, and so it started about a hour late. But that's actually pretty good for Niga time, but it was honestly, it was awesome to see the colors.
So the way a traditional.
Nigerian wedding goes, so if if we were living in Nigeria, they consider Nigerian's considered once you do the traditional wedding, that you're married, whether you do the right wedding or not, because the way it works is that really women are considered like this gift and then the groom's family has to come to the women's compound.
So a compound is.
Like basically like you, your family, your extended family live in like typically a compound or a village. So if I were to go to like my village, almost everyone's like an elite and then next door to that is like maybe my mom's village where everyone is at Ugara that's her maiden name. And this is one of the ways that Africans like you know, prevented intermarrying and like you know marinual first, second, third, because we didn't do
all that. So anyway, so during a traditional wedding in the actual village, the family would actually like come physically like walk over to the woman's village and basically have to prove themselves worthy that yes, we can take care of your daughter that you are bestowing upon us, and
yes we are. You know, we know that this is a gift that you're that you're sharing with us, and so you kind of like reenact that during a traditional wedding where like the women's the women's family wears like the same color or the same fabric and they dance in and then the man's family wears the same tabcant and they dancing and then they kind of re enact coming into the compound and asking for the woman and like you know what they're willing to do, and yes,
we're able to take care of her, and there's like this like kind of like switching over where the woman then joined the man's family.
It's just really beautiful, honestly.
It's just a lot of history and really beautiful, and it was, Yeah, I tried to do as much if you followed my ig it's gone now, but I tried to do as much recording of it as possible so people can kind of see.
But it was it was just beautiful array of colors.
And then that was maybe like from eight thirty to like I don't know, noon, and then we all went back to the hotel, took a nap, and then came back for the ceremony, the white wedding, just meeting, like the white dressed ceremony at like five. So it was honestly, really beautiful.
It was a great time.
The colors were amazing, Yes, you guys looked amazing. I love the gold, Yeah.
Because her colors were like gold and there was some blue in there and then there was in burgundy.
But yeah, it was good because because Carnell is he's African American, so I just thought that, you know, it was so nice, you know because you know, when you're you have two different cultures figuring out how you're going to make it, so each side feels like they're participating.
So yeah, it was just like, honestly, it was really dope.
But what was super fun was honestly, from the first day that I got there, someone came out to me and they were like, oh my god, are you Tiffany from Brown Ambition? And I was like, what, Yes, not
Tiffany the Budget lista, but Tiffany from Brown Ambition. That happened like four times, and I was like, wow, I mean there are other people that came up to me like because Superman and I go on to like shopping and eating all this kind of stuff, and so people came up to me definitely saying, oh, but Janista, But like, this was the first time that so many people were like, no, Tiffany from Brown Ambition and shout out to Brooklyn, young black, amazing young man who he's like twenty one or twenty
two that I was coming out of the hotel.
I was staying at the corn Rad Chicago, and he was.
Like, wait a minute, no way to today.
I heard on your podcast that you were going to be here. I was like, wait what you listened to Part a Bush And he's like, that's how I know you.
And he was like so amped, and I was giving him financial advice, but he totally loves the podcast.
Shout out to you, Brooklyn.
And honestly, it was just so awesome because that's probably was probably the first man it's ever kind of like stopped me and said, oh my god, I'm a Round Ambition fan.
So that was really dope. I know we're out here in these streets.
We need to do a show in shy Town apparently.
Yeah. No, Honestly, it was really really awesome.
I just couldn't because you know, when we're on here, I'm like, well, manage just we will talk beforehand, some pus we'll talk after, and I will totally forget. They're like, oh, we're table to podcast because I'm like, oh, I'm talking to Mandy and then I'm like, oh wait, people listen.
Y'all be listening. Keep it up.
They listen. They quote us on Twitter, people quoted me back to myself. I'm like, okay, be careful now. Actually, people want to know if you have made any progress hiring your executive assistant. After last week's show, where we talked about if you haven't listened to it yet, you got to hear the story of Tiffany's executive admin who was fired in less than twenty five hours. Twenty four hours, twenty five hours? What kind of what?
Yes? What of my employees hit you up? She said, you're savage, but I was like no. She was like she didn't know it had to be done, and I felt so bad. But honestly, I didn't realize how many y'all really listen, Manny.
I was so flooded with admin't we haven't even gotten through all of them yet, Like from almost instantly, so I'm like, oh, one or two, oh, but oh thirty offen.
I mean flooded.
So for those of you who shot me a message on the budgetiesa dot com, my COEO is going through them and you know she's gonna sw I guess she's sending out like, you know, whatever our requirements are, and then she'll start interviewing.
But thank you so much. Honestly, I'm like, wow, you.
Know you say things and you're like at people out there. Uh, they're out there and they're listening. So yeah, if definitely you if you hit me up like I asked you to be a social media but the budgetiesa dot com and the contact me button, then someone's going to reach out to you.
So thank you guys, Yes, thank you for specifying that. Not don't go to our Instagram and try to apply. That's not the proper routes. There's no forward button, go to the budget is budgets dot com to the contact.
And then somebody will send you like an email with like mixed steps.
I mean, I'm pretty sure right now we have tons of I mean, you can still apply, I guess if you'd like. But but yes, for those who just because some people hit me up just on I g you know, well meaning like hey girl, and I'm like, sis, I gave one set of instructions already you hit me up in a way.
Don't tell them this is the screen or question. This is how you. You don't want to hire anyone who can't listen to directions, you know how, like on your dating profile. You never online dated probably, but back in the day, back in the day when I was on the internets looking for love, you would try and like put something in your profile that people had to mention them when they when they messaged you, just to like weed out people who wouldn't read your profile were just
clicking on like your pretty face or whatever. Yeah, so you need like the same kind of thing, like a little uh, I don't know, like a little a little hidden gem that only really only really detail oriented people, which is what you need.
We'll find you're like, yeah, down, listen already, Okay, what about you?
How was your weekend?
The weekend was exhausting, exhausting. I went to see I went to see Mulin Rouge, the Broadway musical, so I was so excited about it was really really good. I mean it really it was camp be af, like I wish I had a couple of cocktails, but it was. It was good, so much glitter, so much sparkle. Went with a couple of girlfriends, and then I spent. I literally did not leave my house yesterday, and I somehow did close to twelve thousand steps in a single day
just cleaning and cooking. I mean, I was so tired and sore. I can't do that anymore. I don't think I was like so tired and so sore, but I just have been in this this I don't know. I guess the nesting mode of just wanting everything to be organized and perfect and clean, and uh yeah, it was
like a little tornado yesterday has bi. I'm I feel kind of guilty, but I we got a quote to paint the nursery, like the couple of spare bedrooms upstairs, including what will be the nursery, and it was you know, it wasn't insane. It was like twelve hundred dollars, which it's not just painting. It's like we had to replace
a bunch of doors. I won't get into it, but anyway, I was like, we can save a thousand dollars by uh you painting, so you're gonna go get a paint brush because, uh, it just seems so simple to me. Of course you can paint your future child's nursery, but that was two weeks ago and lots of angry you know, yells from him upstairs. Later it just became a way bigger anyone who's ever painted on your own. Yeah, it's not just painting. It's like the pep, it's standing. It's
like a million things. And I just am so tired of him complaining about how hard it is that we got we we managed to finish will, he managed to finished the baby's room, and I've caved in and we're gonna just hire painters to.
Yeah, I think when I'm learning, that's something that I'm learning, Like, it's one thing when you're like broke, I get it because i'd be like, so I'll be doing my own hair. Thanks, because I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna pay for this food.
But it's taken me a long time.
I feel like it's only within the last maybe like year that I and even still but take.
Me a long time.
Do you find yourself like like it's really Angelie, my financial Advisor. She's like Tiffany because I was like, yeah, me and jer I gotta cut this cable off. She said, is it because you don't use it or you think that you can't afford it. I'm like, I reasonably know we can afford it, but it just seems like a lot.
She's like, okay, so, but you're right.
There's some things where it actually doesn't make sense for you to do it yourself because of either the stress or the Yeah. Painting is like I mistakenly offered for my parents that we were going to paint there their their guest bedroom, which is in the basement. I'm like, oh, manje I can do it together, Samana and I have
it'd be fun. Three days later, he was like, so you and your suggestions we never got out because it's just so I'm just learning now about certain things, like because I was thinking to myself, I'm going to I don't know if I'll do task rabbit or maybe I'll just hire like someone who's basically going to be like
my errand person. I was just thinking about that today on the plane because I was like, oh, I gotta return this and I gotta and I'm like, I have so much other like business work to do, and I was thinking to myself, Tiffy, you have to return this Amazon stuff.
You gotta you know, there's.
All these little things like you want to return those genes to Target. But I'm like, why wouldn't it be better if you just had like an errand person come to the house once a week and you give them these kind of like nonsensical errands that don't require you to do that. Because I'm listening and.
This is a good a good Uh.
Netflix has this great documentary about inside the mind of Bill Gates, and one of things that really struck me about why he was so successful was that he is so focused.
He uses all of his energy for a singular focus.
Now I don't want to do all that because Bill Gates's borderline, you know, crazy when it comes to that. But I do know that I spread myself too thin and some of those things are really like do I have to go to Target to return these genes?
No? I do not. Someone can do that, Tiffany for you.
So I'm learning that, like, I'm not broke anymore, and it's okay to spend money to make life a little easier instead of running every single, solitary minw Err and myself on top of trying to like run a business.
You know, yes, I hear you, and my husband would be nodding his head probably like breaking his neck right now if he hears you, because he's He's all he keeps saying is man, we could have professionals come been
done in forty eight hours. And you know, because I've been getting onto him because we I forced him to come visit his cousin, you know, some of our friends this weekend because he's just been in the nursery like painting or doing whatever he's do would make a noise for the past two or three weekends, and I'm like, are we just not going to have a life anymore? You're just gonna be up there all the time. Why can't you go faster? And you know you can imagine
his reaction to that. So I ga, we're gonna hire the painters. But we did at least finish the paint in the in the in the fetus's room, so we're excited about that.
So for the baby, did you is it like the room? Is it close to the master bedroom? Because all like the moms I know is like you're not gonna want the baby to be far because I almost like we have like a I turned into my office now, but I was gonna put the nursery on the second floor and we're on the third floor.
Every mom's like, girl, by, that's not how that.
Works, Like right, well, we don't really have a choice. And I know, ideally you would have the nursery on the same level, but our house is small. It's not even if it's it's upstairs, but it's not far, like literally it's right outside of our door. But you know, the first six months I have And that's why we're not rushing the nursery either. I'm not I don't have any grand plans to make sure it's perfectly decorated and instagram ready.
I just want paint and uh for nature in there because it's going to be in our room for the first six months, right, you know, attached to the bed. So I'm actually switching to work on we I'm like, we need to be focusing on our little triage center in our bedroom, like where are we going to change the diapers? And where am I going to rest feed? And and like making that little that little baby nook
in the bedroom now that's our plan. That's ah. But coming down, like we're nine weeks out now and the serious conversations around child care needs to be happening, and pediatricians needs to be booked, and.
You're writing this baby, it's like it's like a business. You're like, so you can tell you it's.
So type like my therapist that it's very healthy how I'm handling it, thank you very much.
No, it's just being organized, honestly, you know, I'm like, wow, where I'd be Like I had one sister that I was like, did you even get a cribbey at? Because it was her second So she was like, yeah, so I happen to do that this weekend. I'm like that Babby's doing this weekend.
Well, like baby one bass baby too. There's a big difference, I know.
I know, well my brother was baby four, so I we just we still hear him complaining about how he has no photos of himself as a child because my parents were tired by then. But uh no, I mean, I've honestly been procrastinating until this point. I kept saying I'm gonna wait till like eight weeks out because I've been trying to just focus on I don't know, baby moon and traveling and my selfish my selfish things that I wanted to get done before the kid comes. But
now it's like go time. I just don't want to be caught in a frenzy. And now that I'm getting more the third trimester is real. There is a difference. I feel different now. I'm definitely feeling tired and pregnant, and I'm like, need to get stuff done before my energy is depleted even further. Like I give myself a pat in the back if I walk the dog in the morning.
The dogs shit you differently when you're pregnant.
My husband says, she's just sniffing for crumbs, but she she does lay her head on my tummy sometimes. My husband's like, she's probably just looking for crumb. But no, I think I've heard from women. I've heard from other women that their dog sometimes it can be bad, like sometimes the dogs can like we'll start getting territorial and like peeing randomly and acting out and stuff. But not really, there hasn't been a change. However, did I tell you guys that we have we decided to hire a dog
trainer to get Molly in shape. Yeah, so on my list of pre baby things is so, we have a dog, Mollie, and if you guys out there have children and pets or had a pet before you had your first child, I'm open to anything, any advice you guys have. But Mollie is she's almost two years, but she's still very puppyish and we've only had her since February, and she
does have some behavioral issues. So we and I just got paranoid that baby would come and Molly would become problematic and step on the baby or bark at the baby or something, you know. So we found we searched and searched and found a really nice training service in our area, which is expensive upfront, it's twelve hundred dollars, but you get the trainer for the lifetime of the dog.
So we dow.
Yeah, and I've heard from so many people, well okay, three people who've paid for like upwards of two thousand dollars for a single week of lessons or sent like my mom sent her dog away for two weeks for two thousand dollars and there was no follow up you know after that. But she this trainer comes does everything in your house, so we don't have to send the dog anywhere, and she has her own program for getting
the dog ready for baby. So she came a couple of weeks ago and we we've already seen a big difference in Molly some of her behaviors that have been problematic. And I'm really I feel really good about it, because I mean I was paranoid that she was going to come and be like, oh, you can't have this dog, like sorry, this dog's too wild. But it's been it's been good, and I think that was worth the investment. And she can come back anytime. If we ever have
an issue, we can call her and she'll return. So we're happy about that.
No, that's good because you're right.
I think you know well, I mean I feel like largely pets, are you know, do good with babies.
I guess I don't know. I've never had a cat, but I was like a teenager.
But I see, like my niece and nephew there, their uncle has like a pit bull and they used to all live together and I'd be like, so, but that dog was so good with them, Like oh, I know they're like, hey, I'm Rocky.
And I'm like, I'm scared of Rocky.
They're like pulling Rocky's tail because like Rocky is like clearly new these are kids, but they'd be pulling his tail trying to ride him, and he was like such a good sport about it. But I'd be like, I'm gonna sit over here.
But what I love.
About it is that it made them not nervous about like when they're out, they're like, doggie, you know how some kids are like I'm scared. Yeah, they're like, you know, because they're four, four and two, and when other dogs are around, they're like totally like, oh, like you know, let me pet. I'm not I'm not scared, which I do, like, you know.
Yeah, it's really it makes me sad when we have kids over who are afraid of dogs, because you know, it stresses out that they trusts. I had to keep the dog up STI and she can feel that tension. But we're definitely we're gonna prepare. They say to like make sure you bring home the baby's blanket before you come home so they can start sniffing it. And but definitely dogs have various reactions. So if you guys want to share your puppy baby story, there are but pit
bulls it's not about the breed. So I'll do a quick PSA for pit bulls because my neighbor has a pit bull. They had her sense of puppy and her two year old little master Joe, who is the who's their baby? Like they He rolls all over her, pulls her tail, chases her around and they're the cutest little couple. I just want that from Molly too. Yeah, you know, but she's too crazy, I'm afraid, but we'll see.
Well, it's half of my favorite segment of the show. Questions. If you got them, share them, maybe we'll so.
Have you went from James Brown to like Alexa with your tone? All right, you guys, you know the drill. Reach out to us with your questions, any and all questions. Of course, we're not financial experts or investment advisors, but we do the best we can to share advice and tips based on our own experience. You can hit us up at Brandhambision podcast dot com go to ask us anything, or I'm getting lots of questions from you guys on Instagram,
which is great. We're at Brand Ambition Podcast on the Gram and you can email us directly at Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Dot com, And yes, I always say we're not your financial group, where your financial girlfriend.
That's very different, very very different. Okay, let's we got a bunch of questions over the last week, so let me start with. Oh, speaking of men who listen to the show, how about a question from listener Jason Ooh, okay, he and I actually have a similar problem, So I feel you on this question, Jason. So here's what he says. My wife and I are on our debt payoff journey using the snowball method. We're expecting our second child in a couple months, and I'm starting to think of replacing
my sedan with a crossover suv within a year. Both of our cars are paid off and it feels so good, but I'm torn because I really wanted my next car to be paid for in cash. But we also want to save about ten thousand dollars to have as savings for the baby after the baby's delivery. Because my wife won't be able to work for a few months, reaching that goal has been complicated. So I'm wondering would me getting a newer vehicle make me financially irresponsible or am
I thinking too hard? We have plenty of breathing room financially, but I can't ignore my commitment to have our family debt free in the near future. Please help a frugal guy who is scared to make a decision.
So what was his name again?
Jason?
Oh, just so I can get some clarifying questions. So, for Jason, they have two cars that are paid.
Off, they do, but he wants basically I didn't read his entire question because it was long, but the car that they're looking to replace has like over one hundred and something thousand miles on it and is old. So he wants to upgrade it to something that's like an SUV size, but he doesn't think he'll be able to pay for it in cash if they want to stick to their goal of saving ten thousand before the baby comes.
Okay, Okay, So that makes that makes the difference, because if he was just getting a new car because you know, trying to be cut in these streets, and I'd be like, well, but honestly, I mean, you know, depending on what how of car it is, you know, Nissans and Hondas and you know those things too, hundred thousand, one hundred thousand is not much for a Honda, you know, quite honestly, if there if it's been well taken care of and getting regular oil changes.
But for like an American car, that might be a lot and.
Only can you kind of know your car. So if you feel like it's already starting to give trouble, then you know, I you know, I might, I might. You know, say, you know, now's the time to make the move. But if it's more so like, well, we're gonna have to actually get another car anyway, although the cars not giving me any trouble, I probably, quite honestly, I would probably wait because my financial goal of having more than enough safe because your wife's not working would for me would
likely be the greater pull. If the car was still safe, you know. Now, if the car's on the borderline, then I might be like, okay, especially since you know it's not going to put you in in the financial harms way just the it'll it'll of course be debt that you have, but I mean some things can't be avoided. Then you know, then I would then I would go ahead and get a safer car. But to me, it really all depends on the state of the car and
how you feel about it. Like, if it's not giving you any trouble, then I likely would like just to say, like the Honda whatever, and you're like, honestly, it could go to another fifty two hundred easily, then I probably would rock out save that ten thousand, because you just never know. I mean for me, but I air on the side of caution and like, I am definitely a saveaholic, So you know, I don't know if I'm the best person.
Saying how long did you have your car before you upgraded?
Child?
Don't even ask, because first of all, Maddy, I had the car so bad, like Superman would have to pick me up from places like honestly, Tiffany, I need to literally it was a fifty to fifty chance if this car was going to turn on. And I was like, you know what, I think, I think it's time for another car, So I am, but do not.
Obviously that is not what I want for you.
So I probably should have given away my car or or you know, got rid of that car probably.
A year or two.
But it was a Toyota Camra, and I said'm not gonna lie. It rocked out for a long time with no issue, and then you know, then like you know, two years before I got rid of it, it started to act up a little bit, and I should have gotten rid of it as soon as it started to act up, but I didn't because I was scared of not having well, one, I didn't want to have I didn't want to have a debt, you know, getting a car. And two I was scared of not having money saved because the recession really scarred me.
And I was like, I'm scared to take this money out.
But finally I did pay for the car that I have now cash, I will say that, so that helped me to get over that. But that's not my expectations from you. Sometimes we need to borrow, sometimes we need to finance, and as long as you're doing so responsibly and you're doing so because it's for the safety of your family, and then there's nothing wrong with that.
I agree. And actually my husband and I are having the same debate right now because we only have one car, and already we're having days where you know, I need the car, you need to go somewhere, and the other person's like, okay, you know, now we're in the suburbs, so there's no trains. I mean, there is a train, but it only goes to the city, you know, so we sometimes end up like I'll end up taking an uber to the doctor in the morning if he needs to get to work at a certain time or whatever.
And he's definitely pushing for a new car. Of course he wants a Tesla, and of course he's wanted a Tesla for years and years, remember, And I'm just like, it can't be a Tesla because I don't know. I feel like, with a luxury car like a Tesla, if you have to finance it, then like, why do you have a Tesla? I don't know, so I think, and especially when the kid comes, I feel like two cars
will be good. But our car is paid off, and hey, we don't have a debt payment, and I'm just like Jason, where I feel so good about that and kind of cocky about it, you know, I like it. I'm a little I'm proud of the fact that we don't have
a car payment. But it may end up being another paint situation where the cost of and we could qualify for a really great loan I'm sure for some you know, a really good rate on the loan if we needed to finance something and put down a decent depositor whatever, and just do what we did with the first car, which is aggressively pay it off in the first six months. But I think we might I might end up having to give in. I am however, I think there's just
too much going on right now. It's our first kid coming, you know. We I also have a goal for our emergency savings and it's where I want it to be right now, and I don't want to dip into it.
We just are.
We're still on this process finishing updating the house and stuff. So for me, it's not the top of my priority list right now. And I've just said, let's see what happens with this little kid, and if it really becomes a huge burden for us not to have a second car, then okay, we can make that decision when the time comes to it. I don't know if doing it right now, especially before your second kid comes, makes the most sense at least not. That's not the way I'm going to handle it.
I'm thinking, well, it's.
Just like get through this so and go ahead and start saving, Like whether it's for the kids, you know, if that ten K that you wanted for your to replace your wife's income, or you end up not needing the full amount and you can put some toward a car or later. Just starting to save now for whatever comes probably makes the most sense, and then you guys can decide later, you know, how best to use that savings.
Yeah, yeah, I think like, if there's no urgency, don't act urgently.
Wait did you just take that up right now? That was good?
Right?
Then if there's no urgency, don't act urgently, you know. So the good thing is you you sound like you're in a good shake.
So sound like a run DMC line or something.
Right.
If there is no urgency, then don't act urgently.
All right, Okay, I've been watching a lot of Living Single lately. And then my night is groove again. Yes again, I started from the beginning. It's too good. All right, Thank you so much for your question, Jason, and congrats on number two. It's exciting.
All right.
Let's see, I'm gonna take a question from a repeat questionnaire only because this one's really funny, well, not funny, but I think we both will have an interesting answer. And I think it's a unique problem that touches on what happens when she earns more m all right from the gram, We'll keep her anonymous. Anonymous says, my boyfriend and I both earn six figure incomes, but I make twenty k more than he does, and recently his pride
has become a problem. For example, I recently wanted to get orchestra tickets to a show, but he wanted to get mezzanine. I told him I'd buy the orchestra tickets I wanted, and then he could buy dinner. He got mad at me, saying, I always throw my money around and it's the same show no matter where we sit. Things like this are happening more and more often. I don't care that he makes less than me. We've been
together for a year. I'm not willing to have less enjoyment with him than I would have without him, especially when I'm willing to pay for what I want. How have you guys dealt with male pride related to the difference in income? When is this pride too much and you are better off potentially ending it? Thanks? So, they've been together year and already he's got some uh problems that she's earning. She's in a bit more financially of
a comfortable space than he may be. Interesting that they already know what each other earns that early in their relationship.
Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah.
Especially that sometimes you know, like, oh I make a little bit more, but especially to that specific degree.
Because twenty k over the course of a year, you know, especially I don't know where they live, but let's say they live in New York City. You're not talking about like a different income bracket. You know, that's it's not necessarily that much of a deal, but I mean it would give you the little bit of extra disposable income to.
Get those seats.
Yeah, exactly. So what do you what do you say?
Well, I mean, here's the thing with Superman and I. I mean I make significantly more, like you know, probably five or six times more so, but they're definitely when I first met him, we were like grown. So I moved in, well, I knew him from before, we had dated off and on before, and so when we started dating seriously again, I moved in after like a year and a half. But he was insistent that he paid the bills basically because he was like, before you got here,
I was playing the bill. So you know, so even though with my finances, we could have definitely afforded to live someplace better, but that was like his thing. I'm the man, I pay the bills, and I said, okay, and honestly I didn't. I wasn't mad at that because the last serious word that I had before him was like, my son. It got so bad. I remember one time, this is when I knew we're breaking up.
We went to go get ice cream and it was a dollar, a whole dollar.
And so, you know, like, so we're staying at the ice cream and so he orders his ice cream and steps to the side, like mom, he.
Got this, and I looked at him. I said, you don't have a dollar.
He looked flustered because he was so used to me because I was young Grenard trying to he was so used to be paying like everything. And I remember looking at him, thinking to myself, this is what I would do with my son if I had one, like you would order your ice cream and I would pay for it.
And I was like, this is not gonna work.
So I actually kind of appreciated the fact that Superman was not like that, and I respected the fact that he was like, you know, I want to you know, I might not make as much as you, but I'm going to contribute. So we, like I said, we lived in a we lived in honestly, quite honestly, what I called the halfway hood. So but what we did do is that I was like, Okay, especially when we got serious, then I will save you know, so you've pay the bills and I will even though I actually paid.
The bills online, but it was his money, like.
He would have his money deposited until we opened up once we got well, once we got married, it was a joint bills account, but at the time it was his checking account. But I would go in and like pay the bills. But and even when we bought the house, Mandy, honestly, one of his prerequiesces, which was really hard, was that we couldn't get more house than he could afford.
I was like, huh, you.
Know so and at the time we were looking for we were looking to finance, and so like when it came down to like, okay, well let's look at the financials, it was like, well, this is what he makes annually, and so that meant that's what our mortgage could be.
Even though I was like, well we can get more, Nope, And.
I was like okay, cause I get it because he's like Tiffany, I want to be able to provide and if something should have happened to you, or you don't want to work anymore because you want to have kids, whatever it is, I want to make sure that we're not dependent on you being the budgetista for us to be able to maintain life. So I mean, I hit the jackpot in then I know, and I said, I appreciate that. And I hit the jackpot in at the house that we end up getting, we end up paying
for it cash because it was a foreclosure. The bank would not take financing, and we, like, like I said, we lived off his income and we saved and invested mine. He had personal savings himself. I have personal savings, but we have our joint savings. And then he pays bills, and then I contribute to the bills as far as it relates to like my my family, so we like help out some family members.
So but I contribute to that component.
So I just say share all that to say that that's not necessarily a bad thing. He's gotten a little bit better with like allowing me to kind of say, like, well I got it, you know, so, but it wasn't easy because sometimes you know, like I'll want because I'm not super I'm not someone I would do mezzanine as well.
So most time we're on the same page.
But every once in a while, I'm like, let's get fancy and do this fancy thing, and I can tell he's slightly like I'm comfortable even though we're married now, So we have a rule now, this is what we've done to ease it up. Even though you guys are not married, so it's different. But we have a rule now that if we go on on a date, so groceries, all that kind of stuff, you know, that's like community property. But if we go on a date, to alleviate that
sense of well, we want to go someplace fancy. But maybe because I pay most of the bills, I don't have, it is that you're allowed to use our community property money. Like if I'm treating, I'm not really treating, I'm just taking it from our joint checking account. If he's treating, same thing, So it alleviates some of that feeling. So I would just say that it's not necessarily bad thing that he wants to be able to afford and not
lean on you. But I think that it's more about talking about it and maybe if you guys, I mean, if you guys could save jointly, not in a joint account together, but meaning like there's maybe like an account where you're setting aside for those things, so you can kind of upgrade experiences from a place that's been set aside and saved.
So that's what we did. We had two separate savings.
Accounts where we would be saving, and when we went to go on vacation, it wasn't like I can't afford to go. We would kind of pull from our joint savings accounts and just continuously talking about it. But I feel him and I don't think it's necessarily wrong.
Yeah, And what I'll say is, I mean, you guys have only been together for a year, and the attitude that you bring to it of I don't want to enjoy my life less than I would if he wasn't in the picture. I don't know if that's the right attitude to bring to the table, especially this early. I mean, I think you may just have a difference in priorities. And my husband and I definitely, early on dating, it was clear we had difference in how we like. He loved to spend money on gadgets. I love to spend
money on travel. To me, it was stupid for him to spend and you know, he got me an Apple watch for my birthday, for example, like my past birthday, and I'm and on the inside, I'm like, seriously, dude, this is so much money for a watch. But like that, for him, it means something and it's a useful use. It means the thing for his money, you know, to spend it on that. And I've come around to the fact that he really does see value and take pleasure in tech things, and he's come around to the way
that I value traveling. And we both kind of have agreed, Okay, you know, we'll bend for each other or we'll you know, we'll save toward goals that we both So I'm cool with saving toward a goal that has something to do with gadgets, and he's cool with saving toward a goal has something to do with travel, because we've kind of accepted, Okay, these are our differences and priorities for where our disposable
income goes. And maybe it's just that he doesn't love theater and maybe he would be happy spending a lot of money on you know, whatever he is interested in. And I feel like you should be open to understanding where what makes you know where he puts value in things and don't see it as a deal breaker. And you know, front mezzanine seats or that's where I love
to sit front mezzanine orchestra's not always the best. And you know, would you rather be at a show by yourself or with a with a nice man who has a good job, Like I don't know, So I sometimes is single life with you going to shows by yourself. I used to go to shows by myself. I wouldn't go back to those days necessarily.
So you can have your fancy friends, right because I've got a fancy friend.
My friend Cabral is one of my fancy friends, and so because Superman is not fancy, and honestly, typically I'm not either. But when it comes to like going to like the fancy restaurant whatever, my friend Cabral, he's like he's the one that's like, Ooh, let's do this fancy thing. And I'm like, oh gosh, how much is it going to cost me? But that's where I do those fancy things with. So I mean you know, it's okay to be like, you know what with my man, we're gonna
we're gonna do it this way. But you know, I've got a couple of friends that I know that if I wanted to do this specific thing, I go with them. It's okay for your man to be one of your friends, not your only you know.
So exactly. Yeah, And maybe it really is that he just doesn't love theater enough to want to put the extra money toward it, which is fine. You know, there's there's times that I really love having. First of all, it's great to have people who love to go to shows with you because it is hella expensive and once you start living out, you know, jointly income wise, you're just paying double you know, then you would if you went by yourself with some girlfriends. So it's actually a
way of saving money eventually. But I don't see his pride as a huge red flag. I think it's you less to do with it could be less to do with pride and more to do with just difference and priorities of where you guys spend. And maybe you should just start understanding a little bit better what he values and how to how to you know, compromise and do what he values sometimes too, not just what you value. Yeah,
but uh, thank you very much for your question. All right, we're going to close the reader reader inbox for the day, but again, holler at us at Instagram, Brandhibition Podcast on Instagram or go at Brandabission podcast dot com to leave us your questions.
So now it's time to boost a break with all my family. You're gonna boost, You're gonna break.
What you're gonna do, Mandy, I gotta do. This is not necessarily financial. I mean I'll find I always find a way to make it financial. But I am so annoyed. So I've always dealt with acid reflux and having you know, all my organs being pushed up my throat right now really has made it worse than anyone who's been pregnant probably deals with it. And what did my excuse me? What did my doctor prescribe me? But you know, take a Zantac once a day, it's perfectly fine. Blah blah blah.
Turns out Zantac's an't like recently studies have found traces of this type of chemical or something that causes cancer. And I'm just like, what the and I've been taking it for I mean, like really for years. It's been like the go to over the counter drug. And it's not cheap, these stupid over the counter drugs, and you can't use your FSA card to purchase them either, so like,
you know, it's an investment buying these stupid drugs. And I'm just like, I don't know, taking a brown break from the FDA or whoever's not regulating these drug companies and giving me something else to stress about. Essentially, So even though the FDA, if you guys takes it's such a such a common over the counter medication, if you guys take it, the FDA has not said that the study findings are conclusive enough to show that you should stop taking it right now. But Walgreens, Write Aid, and
CBS have all pulled it off their shelves. So that's very telling. And I mean I talked to my doctor and I was like, so, what do you think And she was like, Ah, these studies are whatever, just keep taking it. I'm like, uh, but can you give me an alternative just in case? Like I don't know, hormonal emotional pregnant lady here, maybe let's not play, you know,
play games with my zantac. But so that's a brown break, and uh, I will be looking for an alternative to my ride or die because the attack really that gives me life. It's the reason I can get up in the in the morning and actually like get through the day. Because acid reflux is no joke.
Yeah, yeah, I can't when I have it.
It feels like, I mean, I don't get it often, but every once in a while hit and I'm like, what is that?
That that so I can't imagine.
So I want to take a break as well. I'm going to tread lightly. So there's an organization that I did work with, and so there are like other requirements, but you know, like it was totally volunteer.
I was like, oh, yes, I'll do this.
Is not no payment or anything. The level of instruction of what to do after it you've remet there. I have never gotten more emails and then and then and then and then and then and more instruction and then, and I'm like, what is happening.
I feel like I'm in like a I don't know, freshman seminar.
Like there's so many emails, so much instructions, so much, and I'm like, all for this one thing that I donated my time for.
Hmm, so late to back out.
No, no, because I've already done that. I already did the donating part, and so I just I've just.
Honestly told my admins, like, you know, hey, just kind of flagged me when it's like really important, because I there's so much work, and I'm thinking to myself, I can't believe the I can't be the only one who thinks that when you ask something of someone and they donate their time, that I feel like it's my duty and I try to do this. I'm sure we fail
that sometimes. I try on my end to make the donation process and I'm not talking about financial like your time, to try to make that process as as easy as possible, just because I'm already grateful that you know you're ready giving your time, so then you're giving your time, and I'm saying in more time and more time, oh a little bit more time.
It could have some time, a top of time. And I'm like, so that is kind of like my brown break.
It's just like who child, I mean, I don't I just I'm not gonna lie.
I can't wait for this component of my life to.
Be over because there's so many instructions, and I get what they're doing. The reason why there's so many instructions that they think they're making it easier, you know.
But sometimes it's like it's like the.
Law of diminishing returns, where you can have a good thing, but sometimes too much of a good thing actually becomes a bad thing, like if you drink too much water, you can actually flood.
Yourself on the inside. Or for like me, I.
Say so much that it actually was detrimental because I was not investing, you know.
So there is it is possible to do a good thing too much.
So they are trying to make they're trying to make it as organized as possible. So but honestly, it's actually made it disorganized. We have tipped over into where it no longer is easy breezy. It is actually overwhelming. And I've checked that. I just looked at my inbox and I'm like, I'm never you know what, I'm not.
Doing it And they need someone to send them a word one word email KISS, which stands for keep it simple stupid.
But like I said, it's a good old the thing I donated, like it's definitely an awesome organization.
They're doing great work. So I'm glad for the donation of my time day game.
So that's not it, it's just the follow up and all that's required afterwards is definitely, you know, borderline overwhelming, and I'm like, it's giving me anxiety and I'm like, so I just can't wait till it's done. But yeah, that's my brown break that you know, over complicating things and you know, making a thing more than it needs to be.
I co signed that brown break. Oh God, that's the show. We'll see you guys next week.
Yes, indeed,