Ep. 175 — The College Graduation Gift Heard 'Round the World

because it was so last minute the change. So this you know, lovely college student young woman visited and I didn't. I didn't think that she loved my dog enough. And I've was like texting my husband like I don't think that she thought it was adorable enough. How Molly decided to bring this long ass stick home with her like she seemed annoyed about it, which I didn't like. But uh, yeah, I'm gonna turn into that kind of dog mom.

And then if you like are looking for a house cleaner or you want to sell something, it's like a micro community thing versus like putting it on Craigslist or Facebook where thorde knows who's going to see your post.

But then when we were doing we have that construction going on, And then with a dog walker, you can give people unique codes and then you can control what time of day the codes work.

be in excited. I know, like I'm like holding my excitement for when we're really like cause there are like some definitely some touch and go stuff like I had to I had to, like I could not find mirrors

and the doorknob situation. Who knew, Because when you have an older house you have these things sometimes called mortis locks, which are like normally if you were to open your door, like on the side, you see like the little the I guess, the part that actually closes the door like the little button net pokes out on the on the spine of the door, so a mortis lock. The old school ones are long and big and so like. Some

of our doors are regular. I guess at some point somebody replaced doors and some of them are those mortislocks. Those mortorslocks are so hard to find. They either sell them for like seven bucks and they break, like you know, you read the reviews, or they're like three hundred and you're like, wait for one doornop, you.

think we had like twenty one doors. Can you imagine?

I guess they call it. But up to like a certain certain heights or a plate rail is like as high as a person because I guess back in the day Victorian women or whatever you used to like display their plates has a little lit and then the rest is like wood. And so my designer was like, oh, let's try, like, you know, painting the trim on this a darker color. And we both were like, yeah, that's bad.

So it looked more zebrash then. So that was the one thing I took a picture like no one said anything, and then one day Superman came in and I was just like cause I was like sitting with it for a little She's like, just sit with them and see how you feel. So he came in. I was like, what do you think you say I think it's ugly. He had been waiting to get it down. I was like, I think so too. I wasn't. She's like no no, He's like no no. And then I told my contractor.

I was like, don't put a second coat on of this. I just wanted to paint it back to the trim trim white. And he's like, ooh, I was gonna say, you know, MI, like it's your house, lady. I didn't, you know, I don't wanna. I don't wanna to say anything, but woo, this thing is hideous. And I was like, okay, okay, everybody so stuff like that. But honestly, other than that, everything like our designer has been awesome from remain home Rihanna, and yeah, it just looks it looks beautiful. The house.

You know, that was the kind of like missed up and even I'm glad we tried it because it's not a huge thing to paint it over, but better to paint it now than later.

talking about I feel like an old lady. I was watching the Gael and she was talking about something about seventy percent of people can't afford houses or people can't afford houses and seventy percent of the country basically like at today's prices, which was just like one of the

sadder stats I've ever heard. And I feel like it's it's like all these great stats about homeowner and not home ownership, but like employment being up and you know, unemployment being down so low and everyone's working, working, working. It's just like ten years after the recession and you still feel like there's so much more we have to do in terms of like income equality and giving people access to affordable housing, and we have so far to go. So it's just a blessing. I feel like to to

own and to have reached out Milestone. Yeah, so hard to people who are saving up for your house and your first home. Like, I understand the struggle, and you know, it's just becoming increasingly rare to have that property.

here we go. I said, this is the people when people in Brooklyn feel like he basically wanted to purchase the house, and I should have asked him at what price I should have. I didn't even think of it, just to see, just to be I'm curious, just to know, you know. He was like, you know, what do you you know, what are your plans with that? I said, my plans are to live in the house that I bought. He was like, I know, he was like, okay, thanks,

but yeah, I'm honestly, I was I should have. I didn't even think about it because what if he said I'll give you I mean or four hundred thousand hours for it or something like that. But but yeah, so this is this happens especially with our other house and the Weekway section of Newark that's an also really nice section of Newark because that house was like dilapidated, and so I guess people like really think like, oh, I'll pay you like five g's for it to take it

off your hands. But we just haven't gotten around to starting working on it yet since we're doing our house. But I just thought to myself, like, wow, they are really starting to like converge onto Newark, you know.

thought that was hilarious. But honestly, what a life changing movement move Someone had posted under that meme that her brother was there and he was one of the graduates. And already, as a result of that generous gift, the twenty nineteen graduates have started a grant and started contributing to it so they can do the same for the next year's class.

it forward, which is so beautiful. So it's nice to hear that I'm doing that again.

and private with her giving. So I just thought like, wow, like I don't know, and you might ask yourself like that same woman, have you given anything to your community? Five dollars ten dollars ten minutes. Sometimes we're so worried about other people doing you have to ask yourself, in your own capacity, have you done anything?

the airfare to get here. And I was like just I was like working part time, you know, paying my way through college, and I had just enough for rent each month. But then I had an anonymous donor. I'm pretty sure I knew who it was, one of my professors who put up the money for me to pay for my airfare and then my housing because housing is expensive in New York. And I always remembered that, and I was always like, one day I'll get a chance to pay it forward, and like, you don't need to

be a billionaire. I'm just trying to say. So. I reached out to my my the journalism school, and ask them if I could sponsor one of their journalism students coming to the campus this summer. They do like a summer camp with high school students to encourage them to go into journalism. And it wasn't like a major gift, but I went in on it with my friend and I and we sponsored a student to go to this

for free, to this this journalism program this summer. And I felt like that was a nice way, ten years later to give something back. And it wasn't like a formal because I know you get those I don't know if your college reaches out to you, like the fundraising team, you know, asking you to donate twenty you know, called you on the phone. Those things are always you know, maybe you're inclined to donate, but I it always feels

kind of awkward. But this for me, like being able to control where the money went and knowing that it went to a student of color for this program and I got them to assure me that it would that felt really meaningful.

have to be money. Maybe it's just like, you know, making sure that the kids on your block get home safely, or you know what I mean. Like it could be like Jirell used to do this thing. I keep saying his name, but whatever, Superman used to do this thing on Fridays that we would get the kids pizza because

you know what kid doesn't love pizza. We just get like three big you know, and there's like a pizza place around around the corner that does like six dollars, you know, large pies, and then we would cut them into like sixteens because most of the kids are pretty little, and even if they got just a little slice, it was just something to be like, you know, we're all outside, we're having fun. It's a summer night. We have some pizza, we have some juice boxes. So it doesn't have to

be these big overtures. But small things really can equally make life changing things happen in people's lives. And you know, if we all just have to look to ourselves and say, well, what can I do?

food delicious. You know, it's a thing. And so you're right. I had reached like my peak of all peaks. I was like, whoa, I had never seen a number like this before on the scale. And then it must have been like ten o'clock at night, and I was like, you know, doing my daily ritual before I go to sleep, checking up on Facebook just in case I miss any action,

you know, I was scirling through. And then a friend of mine had posted, like, woo who I just reached my fifteen pound goal, losing a goal of losing fifteen pounds. I did it in eight weeks. And she looked awesome. I mean she looked awesome else either way, but you know,

she looked awesome and she just seems so happy. And I remember her telling me before she was struggling, and she was like, you know, I did weight watchers, and I was like, weight watchers the stuff that your mom does, you know, And I was like, okay, whatever, and then like not even two minutes later, another friend of mine who actually lives here in Newark, I'll call her Tea. She posted it before and after and I think it

was like forty pounds. I had not seen her in a little while and so and she was like, you know, I love weight watchers. You know this really helped me to get my life back on track. And I was like, God, you trying to tell me something. And I told myself, Oh, I'll sign up tomorrow, like you know, or maybe i'll look into it tomorrow. And I was like, Tivity, what are you doing tonight. You're saying that you're tired of

like this love weight. I had gone vegan again, and you know, like I said, I love the animals, but really I'm vegan for the cuteness. I had gone there. I had gone vegan again and I'd lost like an initial five pounds, but then I started creeping back up and I couldn't understand why. And that's what was frustrating. It was like I felt like I was eating like healthy, and yet I was like, you know, of the five I had gained back too, and I'm like, well, I

don't understand. I'm not even like you know, I'm not eating pizza. I'm not eating cookies and the cakes and ice cream I was eating before, so why am I putting the weight back on, even if it's slowly? And so I joined. And so if knowing what I would have known now, I wouldn't have joined with the coach. I joined with the coach because I thought I needed

to help navigating the app. So if you join without a coach, I think the cheapest is like three dollars and fifteen cents like a week, which is pretty reasonable. And that's like what twelve dollars a month, something to that effect. But I joined with the coach, so I think it was like I did for two months. I think it was like eight dollars a week or something. But now, like I said, knowing what I know now, I didn't need to cooke. I just wanted the app,

and the app is really good. So it's been about two and a half weeks, almost three weeks, I've lost eight pounds. Right, I'm like, oh my god, I'm back in like the like I had like gotten to, like the one nineties. And I'm like, Tiffany, what, like, you're even my loose clothes would fit me like club clothes, you know, you go to the club. You're like, I need some tights I'm like, ah, my big jeans are fitting me like skiddy jeans.

I don't really need it. So what I like about it is that it's really I watched like a YouTube video about how to navigate the app, and that it taught me what I needed to know is that you are first of all, you know, you say your weight, your sex, your gender anyway, weight, gender, height, all that kind of stuff, and then you say your goal. So I was like, to lose weight. And then it asked

you your activity level. How often are you working out like working out meaning ten minutes of continuous activity daily and I was like zero. So based upon that, they were like, okay, we're going to allot you. They allotted me twenty three points. And so the way the points work is that I guess food, not even I guess, but food is matched up to a point system. So fruits and vegetables are zero points, something like baked salmon,

baked chicken breasts and zero points. So things that typically don't add to your weight gain, not to say those things don't have any calories, but those are zero points. I think boiled egg is zero points. So there's a lot of there's about two hundred zero point things, mostly fruits and vegetables and then everything else. It's like a lotted points like for example, you know, I went vegan,

but I love these burgers from Beyond Meat. They have these, like you know, vegan, Like, I guess they're supposed to be supposed to be like hamburgers.

I don't feel restricted. It helped me to eat more informed, you know what I mean. Like it's not like, hey, Tiffany, you can't have this cookie. It's like, hey, if I am gonna have a cookie, which is probably the better cookie, is it gonna be the oatmeal raisin? Is it gonna be the chocolate chip? Which actually is really contribute to wait for me? You know? And so there were something that really surprised me, like the beyond meat burgers. I was housing those things, Mandy. I was like, ooh, they

began I'm doing good. Yes, hope food tells them so delicious. Meanwhile, something else that shocked the heck out of me Larer bars. Do you know a lot one Larer bar is nine points? That's a whapper junior.

miss like my subway cookie. But the other day it's very easy for me to have a zero point breakfast because I all have like fruit, maybe like I don't want to eat eggs anymore, but like, yeah, typically I have fruit, or I have this like this almond milk smoothie that has a lot of protein in it, or soy milk smoothie like like milk spinach, some fruit, and a little squeeze of honey and that's like four points.

But I can have it very typically by the time lunch rolls around, I have the majority of my points. So if I decide to have a light lunch, like I love sauteed spinach, and you can put a bunch of stuff with it. And I found this alternative two noodles that maybe with like tofood that tastes just like spaghetti noodles, tastes like regular Pasa noodles, so I use that.

And then I found this crump from Whole Foods that instead of the the beyond meat crumble, which is like you know, ten points or whatever, this crumble is one point per serving and so it actually tastes better and more like ground turkey than like the Whole Foods version. So it was just like like just now I had

for lunch today, I had a quote unquote hamburger. It was this Boca burger that I found at Whole Foods and they have a scanner on the app so you can like scan it beep, so right there and Whole Foods. I was like, oh, one burger is one point great. And then I had a bun. I think my bun. I had one of those flatbread buns and it was three points. I was like, woo, so this is a three point and you can have as many veggies as

you want. So I loaded it up with tomatoes onion, like you know, and then I think ketchup is one point. So it was like a five point launch, but super filling. And so what I like, Like I said, what I like about it is that I feel in control and within. I understand now, okay, that this is what's contributing, and this is what is deceptively quote unquote healthy. Also too, I have to be mindful. And this is anybody who's ever interested in joining, is that I love fruit. I

have like a sugar tooth. And so at first, the first couple of days, I was oding on mangos and pineapples as like my in between snacks, you know, And I saw myself creeping back up in the weight that had lost. And after doing some research, I realized that mangos in particular have the highest content of like any fruit. So basically I'm eating skittles, but healthier skittles, but skittles.

One the lesson I realized that not that you can't have fruit if you're trying to lose weight, but you just have to be mindful of how much fruit you have if you're trying to lose weight. So it was, just like I said, eye opening. And I've lost about eight pounds, and for the first time in a long time, I see a seven on the scale, one seventy something,

I'm like, WHOA. So I really think by next by the end of next month, I'll be at my I'll be at my goal weight, which is really just the way I've always been, which is like I like, you know, I'm never I don't diver since high school. Me I was a skinny mini in high school. But I don't want to go back there. I just want to be what I call right sized tip, which is like not super thick, not super skinny, just someplace in between where basically like an eight for like for my height, like

an eight ten. You know, I feel like I feel comfortable in that. And right now I'm more like I would say, like a twelve, twelve fourteen, probably closer to a twelve now that I've lost some of the weight, but yeah, I like it. And then I'm gonna get back in the gym, get back working out I did give get a fitbit to start walking, and it does

encourage me to walk more. I was surprised. How how because you can you could tie in your fitbit to your weight Watchers app, so you can well they call a WW I guess people don't like the name weight Watchers. I'm like, I could care less, but you could tie it in so you can see how active you are.

for dinner? How many points is that? And we all we want to go see my dad this weekend from Memorial Day and I'll hang out because my mom is in Chicago. I'm helping my sister out with her new baby. And so we all like went and had like a barbecue with them. It was nice with the kids and we were all like counting points. They're like they're like, let me see your app, let me scan that. What Like it was just shocking to see, like what's what you know?

concerned about their mental health. But for me, the big change I made was that I started to walk during my conference calls. Like during the day, I would pick one of my one or two calls, sometimes back to back calls, and then I would go for a walk in the park while I listened in. And my average step count for May is like twice as much as it had as it was going back to like March, I'm doing close tonight to day yeah, And I haven't

been weighing myself. I've just been like focusing on part of my mental health is not being so shitty to myself about my weight. But I've just been like, yeah, I feel a lot better. And I obviously, now that I have my dog, getting steps in, you know, is a lot easier. I have more incentive to get out there and exercise. And we walked like eight miles in two days this weekend. We a lot of a lot

of activity and just walking and walking and walking. And I haven't been going to the gym or anything like that because I found with my new commute and my new schedule, just working in the gym just stressed me out more than I thought it was benefiting me. So adding like doing all this extra walking. And it's not like I do one big walk a day. I do

like I walk Mollie. We do one mile in the morning, and then I probably walk two miles over the course of my commute, and then during the day when I'm walking around the park like a crazy person, and and after work while I'm walk Molly for another mile. So I try to do like at least four miles a day. And yeah, it's been it's been good. And I don't use a fitbit because I just started using my phone, like the health app on my iPhone, and I don't know if it's as accurate as a fitbit, but I'm like,

you know, it's it's good enough. So I'm pretty happy with that, and I'm going to continue doing the walking. I think it it's a lot easier now that it's nicer weather, but I'll see if I can continue it even through the winter.

be healthy. And so that's what's helped a lot too. And it's funny because my one of my sisters got it in because her one of her kids, she's like doesn't eat like enough. She feels like. So she was like, it's her way of scanning to see like what secret facts she could slip into his meal, you know. So she's like, ooh, yes, nice and fatty, because there are certain things that seem like you know, low, you know, car or stuff that he likes, you know, because he's

very picky eater. So she'll slip, slip and slipping and be like, oh wait this, you know this brand of whatever kids chips is is actually you know, it has more whatever fat content or whatever it is you're looking for than this brand. So she's been using, she's been

reverse engineering it so he gets enough. But yeah, I just think that overall, ultimately, the only way that you maintain wherever you want to be is to is for it to be a normal process that you're not you're not doing something dramatic, because it's very hard to keep that up. You know, you might stay good for a little bit and then and then fall off. And so even for the exercise part, I actually do like walking, and so it's something that I said, Okay, I started

to incorporate that as well. I'm like, Tiffany, you know, I'm not gonna lie. I don't like the jam, you know, and so, but I do enjoy walking and I can do like a lot of my calls with my team

while I'm walking. And so I told myself, Okay, we'll get up in the morning, throw on your tights or your sweats or whatever, head to the park that's literally five minutes away, and take your next two hours worth of calls walking, you know, and so like, those are the kind of things I want to incorporate into my day to day life. So yay for fitness for both of us. For healthy lives.

I managed to get one off the GRAMD. Thank you guys for sending us questions on the gram Remember we can't see after twenty four hours when you tag us in questions and your stories you've been doing that. Sorry, I don't see those unless I happen to check within twenty four hours. And the other part of my Mental Health Awareness Month goal was to not be on Instagram, so I haven't seen them, but you can send us a DM directly. Anybody can, and I've been checking those.

So I got a couple of questions. First question from Instagram user real Alisha. I think that's what us, says Real Alisha. Alicia says, I know Tiff has raved about ally savings account and I just closed my Barclays account for Ally. I have two checking accounts now, one with a USAA and a local credit union, which both have savings accounts attached that I don't use due to the trash interest rates. I also have a net spend checking and savings account that I do use via an old

employer for my side hustle funds. And your guys's opinion, do you think I have my eggs in too many baskets? So basically, does she have too many checking accounts and savings accounts? I want a CD and I plan on going with who has the best rate. But do you think I should just choose among the companies that I'm already doing business with? Alicia? I feel you on this because I am a woman of many banks as well.

money all over the place. If you have the you know, if you have the patience and it doesn't stress you out, and you get one of those apps where you can see all your accounts in one place, like a Mint app or Personal Capital, those can help you at least feel like you have a bird's eye view of everything. I highly recommend that I use Personal Capital personally. I've used Mint before. They're both fine. I mean, there's a reason Mint's been around forever, right, So I would suggest

using one of those apps. I mean, I don't want to say don't shop around for the best rates, especially when you're talking about your long term savings like your CDs and even your emergency fund. You definitely want to get the best rates. And yeah, sometimes you won't find all the best rates in one bank, which can make it a little difficult to juggle, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's only bad if you get stressed out and you can't manage it all.

you know. So that's the only thing that I can't get an accurate read at where I am and with my So I mean, but if you're not, if you don't have a mix like I do, then you'll be You'll be fine. And but yeah, having multiple accounts as fine as long as, like Mandy said, you can keep

up with them. Sometimes you know, just audit. Like today, I was talking to Superman and he was like, why do we have this joint We've got like two joint checking accounts and I can't remember why we opened the second one, and I was like, why do we have it? So today because I think we had like twenty bucks in it at one point, and and then today I just got a message saying and went to zero because

of the last two months. My bank takes ten bucks a month, you know, as it's fee, And I was like, wait, we don't even use it, so I canceled it today. So there's nothing wrong with having them auditing and canceling when you decide you don't need it.

I will see there reminded me that I have a couple of different checking accounts. I have this old Capital one account that I used to have Capital one three sixty but then ally got so much better that I stopped using it. Sure enough, there was some old I must have had some bill I forget what it is now that got charged to that account, and It's been years since I've touched that account, probably and it overdrew

my account, and I was like, oh damn. So you have to watch out for that kind of stuff, you know, make sure that if you're going to stop using an account and just let it sit there, that you don't have any any bills, you know, pulling from that account, and then yeah, that it's safe. And that's why personal capital or like another or a mint or something can be good too, because then you can see all in one place. I was able to tell that I had

an overdraft. I'm not logging into Capital one every day, but I could tell that I got I had that overdraft fee or in non sufficient funds fee because I was getting like all my accounts in one place, which is helpful. All right, thanks for your question, Alicia from the GRAM, And we have another question from listener Jasmine. Jasmine has a question about for one K. She says about the terminology quote unquote maxing out four one k's

or any other financial vehicles before preparing to invest. She says, how does one know when they've maxed out on their four oh one K or IRA accounts before embarking on their investment journey? Good question, you know, because they don't tell you. You don't get a certificate in the mail like congratulations you max at your four one K stop. I realized that last year they don't like you have

to really watch it yourself. And it's important because you know there's limits on So for four on one K, let me not misquote myself, but let me google it real quick to be sure I get the limits right. Okay, good, all right, So for twenty nineteen, the contribution limit for a regular four to one K is nineteen thousand dollars and for an IRA, which is like an individual retirement account that is six thousand dollars for the tax year twenty nineteen. So if you go over that amount, you

could be liable for tax penalties. So you want to be careful if you're you know, fortunate enough to be able to put that much money away that you're not going over. Yeah, and my financial plan are the only way she told me, I need, you know, to check that is just to keep tabs on of myself, like log in in December and make sure that I'm not getting too close to the max and adjust my savings if I am.

underdo it obviously than because you don't want to. Because I did that once, I could say that because I did that one then I had like a penalty because i'd well, because what happened was I was contributing at one point as a self employed person, and then I became an employee of the budget Nista, and so when you contribute as a self employed person, you can contribute up to fifty percent, and I forget the amount, the actual number amount, and so it was like, you know,

that was totally different than contributing as an employee. I can't contribute up to fifty percent of my income. I mean, like, as long as my income is below you know whatever, twelve thousand dollars or so, I can Basically I can't. You could contribute way more when you are self employed, because the assumption is, you know, you have so much going on, and you know a lot of your money is going back into the business. And so I never made the distinction. I don't think I've told at the

time my financial advisor. Hey, by the way, sidebar, I am no longer self employed. I am not an employee of the budget Nista. That's why it's important too if you have a business that your financial people are talking to each other, you know, like that way your financial planner is talking to your count and is talking to maybe your your bookkeeper or CFO. Because if not, you know,

I can make a choice. And I don't think it means anything, but Carlos my account is like, uh, that's everything, you know.

I mean, there's a million ways to contact us. It's a miracle, y'all. Don't just show up on our doorsteps. Yeah right, like excuse me. You probably get that all the time.

that's what the Financial Freedom Plan is. It's like from the beginning of money mindset to the end of retirement. So that's what made the Academy go from the version it was to two point zero. So I'm excited about that. My children's book is finally wrapping up as far as the like the illustration, so I mean, there's still a lot of work to do, like the back cover, inside cover, but that's not going to launch until January twenty twenty. But I'm just excited to see it come to life.

There's just something special there. I can feel it.

not right before Christmas necessarily, but actually in January. It's actually a really great date because let's just say you want to let's just say your book is really awesome, which I hope mine is, then you want to be considered the new hot two thousand or whatever book for the full year. Like if I were to launch in say November, they would still consider me twenty nineteen book, and I wouldn't be eligible for any awards or anything else that they might submit me to because those things

have passed. And I was like, oh it, smarty, haughty.

can keep all the coin. But lately I've been thinking I would like to traditionally publish one book, at least one book, and so I've been taking those conversations more seriously. But I didn't want to do it alone. So Gene Chatsky, who you guys have probably seen on the Today Show. She's really dope. She's got this book called I Think Women in Money that just came out, and she hooked me up with her with her book agent, Heather, And honestly, Heather,

it's awesome. She's cusses and she's dopey. I can tell that she is dope and just like you know, like a bulldog. And so I'm just really excited to like have her on the team to help me navigate the process of, like you know, of our traditional publishing. So yeah, it's been a lot going on, but more more so than anything else, I've been spending a lot more time

with like my family, which has been really great. That's what I wanted really for twenty nineteen is to Yes, I want the budget needs to grow, but not to be the focus like it normally is. I really want to focus on family this year, and so that's what's been happening lovely.