He's on down. He's on down down. Come on now, he's one down. He's on down. Don't you carry nothing that might be alone? Come on out, he's on down, he's on down there.
Okay, let's we can't do the whole thing.
Yeah, we can't.
That was oh my god, the Whiz?
Yes, how did you well? First? Hello everybody being man, You're so hello.
Sorry, I just had a cup of coffee and it's six forty pm.
Yes, welcome back to what episode is this of Brown Ambitions?
They've grown sixteen? Sweet sixteen?
We were sixteen and never been kissed. Yes, welcome back to the sixteenth episode of Brown Ambition. And yes, the Wiz. What did you think of it?
I have been so hype for the Whiz for the last like ever since they announced, and I remember watching Shanie Williams go on the Today Show as like this.
New talent I loved, Like Mary J.
Blige, I want a word to begin, like I've I've been the kind of person like I watched Sound of Music and I watched Peter Pan live, and while I was watching it, I'm like, why am I doing this with my life?
Why am I? Like I only.
Watched Sounds of music for on Audrey McDonald like, that's like the one reason, Okay, Peter Pan was a waste of my life. And I was like, but from the beginning, Wiz was just so different. The set design, Yeah, costume, Yes, David al and Greer as the lion.
Yeah, I didn't even know he could sing, and like, you know, and my friend's like, and I still don't know. I said, ooh in the shade he was. He was good. If you ask, it was so good.
I forgot that he was even him. I forgot all about Neo until the end. I was like, wait, who was the tin man? Yeah, I forgot all about Neo because he was so good. He was blended in Yeah Blige.
Queen, I just love Queen. Lets you. Her outfit was so her costume was so beautiful. I was trying to.
Think whose costume was my favorite? And I feel like the award goes to everybody in the Emeralds in the Emerald Club.
Yes, Vogue they gave me. Yes, I was.
I was entranced.
Yes, and the poppies, of course, I was like, oh, look at these sexy poppies. Give me a little tourm It's a.
Lion just like a manly I know that was so different I never seen I mean, obviously, I wasn't even born when the play was on Broadway, and I saw the movie version, like I don't even know the last time I saw maybe when I was a little little girl. So it's sort of like it was completely fresh for me. A lot of the plot I didn't even remember.
Yeah, I just remember like thinking that the guy who played the Scarecrow, I loved him, but he reminded me of Michael, and it just made me a little bit sad, like, oh,
I remember when Michael played this. And I even went online, which I'm sure so many people did, and I like pulled up like he's on down the rule so I could watch it on YouTube, and I was looking at Michael and he was acting and singing and dancing, and it just hit me, like, yo, Michael Jackson was amazing, so talented and yeah, so oh it was just really nosalgic for me. Me and Supergirl watched it. Superman was upstairs watching football. He was like, yeah, if.
Ass oh, that was probably her first time watching that, right.
Yeah, I didn't really because she asked me in the morning because she fell asleep. She said so how did it end? And I said, are you kidding?
And she was like, Nod'd never seen the Wizard of Oz.
No, she's nine and so you know, And I was like, what do you mean? How did it end? She's like how did it end? Like it was a new movie and I was like knew. I was like, Okay, we have to watch it. So a new tradition tradition for us. I couldn't believe. I forgot, like, oh, she didn't grow up in that error.
That's amazing that this is going to be her first Wizard of Oz. Yeah, I know, right, Oh, I'm looking at pictures. Oh Amber Riley. First of all, I love Amber Riley, like I follow her on Instagram. I love her voice, I love her person, I love I watched her on Dancing with the Stars. That's how good her I am. And she was so good at as what was her Adlene able Ling? How do you say her name?
The watch? Yeah? I know, but she was really good.
I don't think anyone in the cast. I wish that Stephanie Mills had had more time.
Yeah.
I also I saw someone tweet and I had to agree.
I'm like everyone else has like a modern outfit but they put aunt em in this like old lady outfit.
Yeah, you're right.
Why wasn't she dressed for twenty fifteen?
You're right, you're right. And there was just so many things that were kind of funny, like when they found out that Queen Lativa, the Whiz character was a woman, and she was like, whatcham would being a woman? I was like, yes, you better assass them.
That was so perfect for her too, because she's already that kind of andry. She can be really androgynous.
Yeah, and she's come out as gay, you know, fairly recently, and so it was just kind of like okay. And I saw it like when she was in her robe, when they like, you know, pull back the curtain, I was dying because that is so me in Jersey, sitting at my deck. I was like, look at queen representing for the at home entrepreneurs her so.
Looked pretty good for me in our home.
I know, but it was just good. I had a good time.
Oh what did you think of uz Uzu Aduba? I like that.
I mean, I know people are like, oh, she missed some notes and whatever. I'm like, it's live. I'm sorry. What do you do with your life watching at home.
I don't even remember.
I just I thought, I love the fact that when she came down, this brown woman, you know, and the first thing out of Dorothy's mouth was she's so beautiful. I was like, that's it, you know, that's and you.
Know what, That's why I was thinking Supergirl, like the fact that this is her very first Wizard of Oz, Like she doesn't know any other odds. It's like people who were born for with a black president for the first time.
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. And when you think about how transformative is that for you, that it's not a big deal to have a black president because that's all you've ever known.
Wow. Mile.
On the internets, some people who obviously did not grow up with an all black casts and anything where even before the Wiz aired, people were already like throwing shade and asking the stupidest questions like why isn't there a white Whiz.
I'm like, where's the white wiz at?
Oh? If it was an all white casts, you guys would be calling racism.
I'm like, hello, have you not seen the Wizard of Oz? You idiots? That's what that is. That's crazy.
It was so crazy.
I was like, are they just doing this just to get you know, their tweet shared online. And then also just like, can we talk about every single movie where it's all white people and there's like maybe one person in the Like I just finished watching The Gilmore Girls.
Did you like The Gilmore Girls?
I did? Actually I liked.
It too, but like it was like maybe halfway through the third season and I'm like, wait a second, there is not literally not one brown person in its entire season.
And we watched all the way through, and I'm.
Like, this is this is all like if they went through seven seasons of a show based in Connecticut or New York, both places, ye had a single black character. Like I mean we've been but like that's not and that's not a new thing.
Yeah, that's just normal. It's called life and Nobody. Yeah.
So I feel like I saw I saw a funny tweet of someone they found the background dancers at the Evil Quitch's Layer, Evil Evil Witch's Layer, Mary J. Bludge, and they found one white guy in the back and they're like, oh, here you go, here's your token, like.
Us, welcome to our world. Yes, yeah, the Wiz. I mean it's just so crazy because that was the purpose of the Wiz. It was in response to the fact that the Wizard of Ours really was an all white like you know production, and here was like a little flavor added and you know, a little brown flavor. It's just, you know, people always are looking for something whatever. I think they got like a viewership of like almost twelve million people watched that night.
Mm hmm.
Yeah. I just was like, oh, it was just nice, and I like, I did a lot of live facebooking just because it was fun. Yeah.
Twitter, I was on the twitters.
Yes, I was trying on the Twitter, and like they had a lot of funny memes, especially about poor Toto. Did you see the memes about.
Total No because they didn't get in the airtimes.
Yes, they had this one picture of like three dogs like like with your eyes narrowed, looking mad like Totals family watching tonight, Like where is he? I was dying. I was like, Toto does not care.
They couldn't have had a dog the whole time.
Now, come on, exactly can you imagine live that dog would have been pooping and peeing, running around and barking. They just could not have done that.
I know. Oh it was so good. The you know that kind of reminds me. I heard on and I was listening to the read this week and Kid Fury was talking about how Lupitza niongo. You know, how she's gonna have a role in the new Star Wars movie that everyone is like losing their shit about. Yeah, about
the movie itself, apparently her role. He says, there's speculation that it's been like cut to a sliver okay, Oscar winning actress Lapiza, which is kind of a bummer because she would have been the only black woman in that whole cast.
Probably, But I thought I saw like a quote from the director saying that like Lupitza was amazing or something like that, and the answer, oh good, okay, I thought I saw something like that, So I guess we'll see.
You know, the proof will be in the pudding.
Are you gonna go?
I don't you know. I'm not a big Star Wars fan.
I don't even know if I am. I've never seen it. I was just talking to my fiance. She said, we're gonna try and watch it this weekend because I kind of want to see it, like I want to see it for lu Pizza or I want to see it for the I don't know what character the other black guy's playing. I want to see it for him.
Yeah, I know, right to see you for the blacks people. You know, I don't. I not a huge movie like Jarelle is a huge movie person, and like I'll go just because you know, I'm trying to be like a good girlfriend. But I'm the type of person I rather watch the movie like in the house on the couch where I can pause to go to the bath and get some food.
You know, Oh, you're that kind. It was like my mom. I was always yelling. I'm like, Mom, sit down, I just want to do the laundry real quick. Yeah no, no, no, we're watching a movie. Oh but the dishes.
That is the whole ambiance of like movie. Him and Supergirl, so well, Superman and Supergirl will have a whole ambience of like movie time. And I'm always like, ooh, real quick, quick phone call. He's like, are you kidding me?
That's what my dad and I do together, go to see movies.
Oh that's cute.
What else is? Oh? I lost my notes on.
I'm trying to pick what else was both?
Oh, my girlfriend sent me this, so my friend I'm gonna call her out. Her name is Jess. She is my dear.
I've been friends with her since my freshman year of college, so going on ten years now, and she's been single for a while, sorry, just living in New York City. And she sent me she sent me this link up from box. So I was talking about what's the headline, like, I asked my boyfriend to move in with me to save rent? And Jess was like, God, I really feel for the first time, like happy.
To be single.
I don't have to do this, and I feel like this is not I mean, I read the article and she's like talking about how she's not alone, that a lot of people ask their boyfriends their girlfriends to move in to save rent, and personally, like, I think that's I don't see, It's not that much different than like.
Getting a roommate, you know. Yeah, but I find it's so common in New York.
Yeah, I just feel like it's common. I mean, that wasn't the only reason, but I remember one of the things that Jirelle said to me when we were dating for a while. He was like, why don't you move in and just save rent? You know? And I know, and I was that's why I said no. At first, I was like, no, I'm good because my friend is about the same as when I'll pay splitting it with you, right, you know. And then he was like, all right, I just want you to be here. You're always here anywhere.
I'm like That's what I wanted to hear exactly. I'm like right, because I think he was trying to appeal to my budgetiste the side of being like, oh, maybe I'll tell her to save, and I was like, yeah, that doesn't move me. But yeah, so, I mean, honestly, I'm paying I was paying really low rent before so and when I first moved in, Jerell was like paying all Darrell starting at Superman, was paying all the bills, and I was like I built that. I'm like, well,
don't you want some help? And so now, like which, my friend, one of my BFFs, told me that I was crazy that I should let him man be a man. How do you feel about that?
Like, I didn't, you know, I just a mandy man by what paying all the bills?
Yeah, because he was paying all the bills. Even though I make significantly more than Superman. He was paying, you know, all the bills, and well most of them, I would say he was paying about seventy five percent of the bill, because of course I was paying my own bill, and I think I was paying like the cable and that was it, and I just did it didn't feel right, especially since I was making more than him, and I am making more than him. She was like, no, that's
what you know. She subscribes to the whole Steve Harvey theory, which you know, I'm not necessarily in agreement with, but I've never had anybody take care of me financially, and I just felt like, well, we both eat the same food and you know, use up the same amount of room in the house, that we should split the bills.
And so I think that's very antiquated, that whole idea, especially today. I mean, unless you're dating is like a banker or something and he's you know, loaded, and he yeah,
doesn't matter. But I feel like we're all in the same both these days, most couples and you're in their twenties and thirties, like you probably have student loan debt, you probably haven't had that much of a raise in the last few years, and I think you have to be like the whole I don't know, I just think that's not fair to the guy.
Yeah, that's why I said that. I was just like, well, because she was like, what you should let him be a man. You shouldn't have offered, And I'm like, yeah, it seems a little selfish.
That, like, no, what if they ended up presenting you?
Yeah, who knows, especially you know, especially with seeing my business grow, like wow, Tifany's making great money and she's literally paying nothing. It just didn't seem like fair. It's not It's not like I'm paying I said, Hey, I'll take care of all the bills myself. I just said, like, let's just go half plus.
I think that forces you into a position of me like you made me feel guilty always paying the bills so I should clean the kitchen and yeah, you know, it just sort of pushes you into these other guilty you know, for being it makes you guilty and then you do all these other roles that like you maybe not have time for. It's not just to sort of have this like semblance of equality.
Yeah, just true. We're pretty equal on everything when it comes to like cooking, cleaning, all that kind of stuff. Like you know, we have I have weeks definitely that I don't do a whole lot, and I have weeks that I do do a whole lot as it relates to that, But I don't know, it feels right for me to be It just feels good to know like we're going half, we're good and you know, and plus that means he has extra money left over for that ring.
Then I'm exact that he's saving for. You know. I'm like, oh, okay, you know, I did a little check in recently, have that ring money going. He just looked at me, like, Tiffany, it's.
Only been Wait, hasn't it been like a week since you started hinting?
I don't know. I mean, well, no, from the very beginning. See, because I'm thirty six, so befo. When we first started dating, I said, before we enter into this relationship, let's make sure we're on the same page of where we're headed. Yeah, and you know, and so he was just like, because, I mean, Durrell Superman's not new to me. We had been friends for a while, we had dated a little bit earlier when we were younger, and so this wasn't
like some brand new person. It was kind of like, well, if this is something we're doing, are we on the same page and he was, And so I just check in every once in a while because my biggest thing and his biggest thing is always if you're not on the same page as me, just let me know. Yes, it might hurt my feelings and I might be heartbroken or whatever, but I rather know so I can make a choice based upon what is not what I want it to be.
Oh yeah, definitely, And I think that you should be, like I said, like my Fance and I we talked about like getting married before moving in together, and yep, and I would say, I mean, maybe it's just because I was raised by a single mom and I saw, you know, when my parents got divorced, she couldn't afford the house that they had, so she had to move and we were living with my uncle for a while. Then we moved into a tiny little house, and you know,
it was always a struggle. And I always told myself, like, I'm never going to be relying on a man enough, like if a guy moves out, I want to be able to at least know that I can pay the rent on my own and that I won't be out of you know, homeless, or like out on the you know, out on my own and that's always been in the
back of my mind. And then you know, my Fancee has known that from the get go, like I'm moving in with you for because I love you, because I want to live with you, not because I need to financially mm hmm.
And he respects that.
I think it's said. I mean, I feel like every everyone's relationship, you have to make up your own rules. That's one thing I've learned. So like my I have one friend who I just love her relationship with her boyfriend. They've been together since there were kids, honestly off and on, and but they like since they were fourteen, and she's thirty one, thirty two, and like you would think that they just started dating. They're so cute together, you know,
like they laugh, they play, they joke. And one thing I've learned from her is as long as she and I have been friends, I've known her since high school. She I can count on one hand that she said anything even slightly disparaging about him. She might be like, oh, he's getting on my nerves, but that's even rare. And she has never discussed like they're they're inside business, you know, And so just seeing that has just given me like a great like kind of like roadmap to like that's
how I want to be. I want that, you know. I mean I checked him exactly, you know, and I'm sure they've gone through whatever. I'm sure, but she would never ever, ever be like, oh, let me tell you what terrible thing that he's done and I'm so sick of him, Like that just doesn't come out of her mouth, even if she's upset with him. You know, that's just it is very toxic because you're not always going to be mad at your boo, but now you're going to have the whole world mad at them forever.
Yeah, I've always well, I've learned to not hold the grudges since he and I moved in together. Like we like we just literally we're outside here. I am talking about our beef on the podcast, but we just got into like a little like we were just bickering about who needs to clean who needs to clean this spare bedroom and I.
Was like, but I did it last week and He's like, you never grab but let me get in home, and I'm like, whatever, we're engaged. What am I going to do? Like be mad forever? It is stupid, and I feel like.
But when I was when we first started dating, though, I was so quick to immediately text my best friend, and you know, we would get together, put our heads together at work and just talk about all the horrible things that's you know, what our boyfriends had done the past, and it just it just comes with age. I think you grow and you get perspective, like what's a small thing and what's a big thing.
And she stopped because she said one of she had lost the best friend in college because that had happened. She had said something like, oh, he did this, he did that, and then the best friend started treating her boo poorly and then it became this you know what I mean like and then it became this toxic relationship between the three of them, and the best friend just
it did wasn't a fit anymore. So the best friend kind of basically left, and you know, so I just so, she said, I just learned to be like I have to protect him. That I'm angry at him temporarily, but you know, I can say something that can have people angry at him for life.
I'm really protective of you know, because we both are the breadwinner, right, I mean, not that we're like combining finances with our partner. Yeah, completely, but we earn more than our partners. And I really I'm protective because between him and I its cool, but I'm protective of anyone else having an opinion about that not being up. Yes,
m I'm like he does so much for me. Money is not the only thing that's important, and it's it works, and I'm really I'm whenever I hear someone kind of start to judge that that, like that balance it, it makes me upset.
No, I agree because I don't allow for any of that because I'm like, what, like Superman is like one of the kindest, nicest people that I always sound You're so much nicer than I am. Like I don't know any of the neighbors' names. He knows miss Mary has a bad hip and brings her food on Wednesdays. He knows that like little Jeremiah just started preschool and will get him a bike for his birthday. I mean, he's like the kindest, sweetest and I'm like that's such a
small thing to me, being like the breadwinner. You know, it's in comparison to someone who's actually a good kind person. So you're right, me too. I'm protective over that. I wish somebody would say something. M M.
If you'd like to say something, you can email us a Strong Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Or tweet us at the BA podcast.
Y'all.
But I say, don't move in together just because of the money. You may regret it.
And honestly, what happens when he moves out. It's like any roommate, what happens when they move out. You need to have a backup plan. Have your own money. Please have your own money?
Yes? Oh lord, Okay, So I think that's it for bus Worthy.
Yes, Buzzworthy out. So first, so it's now it's brown break time, right, and me and Mandy we're not gonna have We weren't gonna have a brown break. But then I started thinking I actually do want to take a break.
I was like, I don't have anything to be annoyed about.
Wait a second, and it this is not necessarily like because I feel bad because my best friend just had one of these, my sister just had one of these. Everybody's having one of these because I'm in my thirty so everyone was popping out these. I'm talking about bagels. So I love some babies. I love my new nephew. I love my godson who is my best friend's uh baby.
Wait, can you do it? Can you say the whole thing? I need a brow and break from babies.
Yes, I need a brown bait from babies, not the babies themselves, but like from like and then the baby did, and then the baby said, and then I tell you that the baby said and did said said, big big baby. I need a break just because every because I guess once you hit your thirties, everyone's like either having kids or their kids are just starting to do interesting things. And so my timeline is babied out. And I'm not gonna lie. This is slightly hate because I want a baby.
I do kind of want a baby. So when I have a baby, I will be sure to annoy everyone with my incested baby pictures exactly Like you should see my text now, Like you know, when you're twenty, some of your texts are like salacious. You're like, hey, no, my text now, anybody can read my g rated text. It's just full of baby pictures from all my friends, my friends and family, like and look at him smiling and look at him laughing, and I'm like, oh.
Do you do the thing where you like some of your friend's babies better than others?
No, you know what I mean, I have a couple of.
Favorites, and I was like, it's a couple of not so favorites. I don't know how. I don't know what happens. I just connect with some babies more than uthers. You know.
Well, you know what. The two closest babies in my life, they're still so young. Like my best friend's baby, he's like, uh, seven months or eight months, and he is mister gigglely. I mean, that baby is the happiest baby I've ever seen. I mean he's like it's blue outside, it's green outside.
I'm happy, happy, happy. And then my sister's baby is like the most chill cool, like that baby was born with sunglasses on and he is so and so we're like I helped my parents put up the Christmas tree and my sisters and I today and so she brought her baby and he I was just like, look at this baby. He is so chill. No matter how much we were like smaiya giggle laugh, He's like I'm actually chilling. I mean, you guys look a little silly, but Okay.
His face is just like cool as a cue humber, and he's so adorable.
He's like, tell me a joke.
Then, yeah, he's very dry. You were like, okay, like no crying or nothing, just looking at you like, I mean you're gonna have to do beds than that. I love it. Yeah, So I love them both, and like, honestly, I'm not really sick of, you know, babies, It's just that I'm ready for a baby, and I'm just like, it is it's a lot of work. Though. She's like, are you sure you're ready because it's a lot of work.
I'm sure they would like a brown break from their own babies.
They're like, you could have my baby for a little bit.
Man, I kind of want to adopt.
Oh.
I mean I wanted to mention this earlier.
I just read this really good article on Yahoo actually not a shameless plug Yahoo parenting. It was like it was an article about a white mother who talked about adopting two young black boys and she already she adopted all of her children. Then she has four kids, two white girls and then two black boys. And I thought it was a really good story just about like how like a white mother's perspective of raising two black boys, and she was so self aware.
She's like, I made sure we have black friends. I do my best.
She listed off all these things that she try has to do for them. It reminded me of my mom a little bit, because it's got to be hard. Yeah, my poor mom, I mean not by I grew up in the South and she had two brown babies, two white babies, and I'm sure people gave her weird stairs all the time in the grocery store, you know, but she did a great job treating us all like equals.
You know. It's so funny you mentioned this because my sister was asking me today. I was like, oh, I'm taping with Mandy today, and she was like, is Mandy black? I was like, her dad's black, her mom's wife. She's like, and it's so strange. She's like, who does she what does she identify as? And I just thought it was such an interesting question. And I'm like, because when I first saw her, I thought, hmmm, I would have because
I thought the same thing. I thought maybe you were like hispanic, but I knew there was a little something and I was like, hmm, she's got an extra curl in her hair, and I was like, Oh, what does Mandy identify it? I said, I don't. I think Mandy identifies as I told her. I feel like you identify as a woman of color. That not all the way like you know, sister girl black, not all the way you know, miss Mandy white, but like I don't know, just a woman of color. That's how that's my vibe
from you. But what do you identify us?
I mean, I say black and white. I don't know if there's a I mean, this is, this is whatever. This is a question I've been asked my entire life.
What are you who?
Like?
Where are you from? What's your background? People people stop me on the street all the time like where are you from?
And I'll be like America, and I'll get really annoyed. They're like no, but like, what's your background, Oh, Georgia, Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I do know. I just say I'm black and white.
And I mean I grew up even further dividing those two worlds. But the fact that they got divorced when I was ten, so I would be black. When I was on my dad's family, surrounded by my black aunts, my cousins, my uncles, I love them dearly. I don't know, I'm really grateful for my background. I feel like I've got the best of both worlds in a way.
No, I mean, I guess it was just like this random question just because, like I said, it was so random. And she asked, what does Mandy identify us? And I was like, I don't. I don't know.
I mean, don't all biracial people.
I was just biracial. Well, no, it depends to me. What I've seen is that the majority of biracial people that clearly look like once one of their segments like identify like you know, like say, for example, I don't know, Like if you get like somebody who's like maybe they might be half white half black, but they look so black, like you know, super chocolate skin, curly hair for whatever reason, you know, then it's I mean, it's not even a question because it's just like, well, I look so black,
so I'm not like I'm hiding. And then but you do get some And then because I've gone to school with one of my friends was biracial in high school.
But she like it's almost like I could tell she was a little something, but only with like the trained black eye, could you see a little something, because honestly, she looked like Nicole Ritchie, like you could really not hardly tell at all that she her father was black, but he was like really fair and had like curly hair, and so she she more so identified with her mom's side like white and nothing she would herself like just
plaining white. But I don't know, it just seemed like that's the road that she was taking, which is okay, you know. And then you have somebody like Jesse Williams hight is that his last name, Williams. Super cute, you know, and so he could like totally you know, he doesn't look like, he doesn't have super strong black features, and even though he has looks like he has a little something in him he could easily identify with, you know,
white if he wanted to. But it seems like he heavily identifies with being black more so than anything, even though of course he doesn't discount or discredit his you know, his his white side. But I don't know, I think.
I think that it matters a whole hell of a lot more to everybody else would identify myself as Honestly, I'm not trying to be sassy, but I mean, I've talked about this before, Like, I'm just I'm tired of people telling me I'm not black.
I'm tired of people telling me that I'm not this. My hair is this? You know.
I was just I mean, people ask me, why are you trying to make your hair natural? Like why don't you just, you know, just diet straight, died straight, you know, make it straight. I had a coworker tell me that wasn't black because I tried to do the whip nanna and I had no idea how to do it to like's not black, you're not black, And I'm like, I'm.
So fucking sorry. I'm so tired of.
People having an opinion about what I am. And it's fine for people to be curious, I guess, But at the same time, it's not like I'm I don't know, I guess. I'm not trying to defend someone like Rachel Dolesol. But at the same time, I mean, I actually have the background. I have a black father and a white mother, and I'm like, well, I'm I'm not gonna pick a lane.
Honestly, and you don't have to, you know. It's so funny because it's like I remember, like, like, now you can't tell by the way I speak, but when I grew up in an all white, mostly Jewish town, and so at one point, like I didn't even I didn't know what I sounded like. I just felt like I sounded like me, but I sounded like like a valley girl, like I am a name Sippy, and like there was no base in my voice, no, no, nothing, because that's
just where I grew up. And it wasn't until I came to work in New York, which is like majority black, and that somebody was like, why do you talk like that? And I literally had no idea what they met And I'm like what, And I thought maybe because my parents are African. I'm like, do I have an African accent or something? Because I was born in America. But and she's like, like, you know, why do you talk like that? Stop? And I did not know what she meant. I was
twenty two, and I'm like, what do you mean. She's like stop, like she thought that I was putting on And for the longest time, people really thought that I was forcing that accent. And I just remember being like and then someone telling me and then used to pick on me, like my first job in Newark, like the black girls would pick on me and tell me that I wasn't black and I sound like a white girl, and like they were gonna beat me up and some other foolishness. Until one day I just snapped and she
was like something something yeah, okay, whatever, white girl. And I said, can I ask you a question? And she was like yeah. I said where were your parents born? And she was like Jersey. I said what about your grandmother? And she was like Georgia. I was like, well, what about her grandmother? She was like I don't know. I said, you want to know where my parents were born? She was like where? I said, Africa? You want to know where they're parents were born. She's like where, I said, Africa?
You want to know where they're parents are born? She said where? I said Africa and Africa before that and Africa before that. Let me tell you who's the blackest person in this room. It's not you, so like, don't you know? And I just remember telling her that that, like just because I sound a certain way and I don't have hardly any rhythm, this is just true for whatever reason, like that doesn't
make me less black, you know. And I'm like, I can trace my roots back to the to back before when my last name was one name and the village was started by my great great great great grandfather. So you know, I'm good on the black side. And after that they stopped.
I didn't even get what it is, Like, what is the magic formula that makes you black enough? I think what it gets down to is socioeconomic status.
And yeah, where you grew up and where you're from, And like, I'm not even gonna lie, I'm not from the hood.
Yeah me either.
Our family is my dad's family live in the hood.
I go there over the holidays, feel uncomfortable all the time because I'm not of that environment, but I love my family.
Yeah, And like it's so crazy now because I kind of live in the semis the hood now because this is where Superman is born and bred. And I'm like, huh, look what love brought me. But honestly, I don't mind. I don't know. You know, it was such an adjustment coming from African parents, super African at home and then at school everything is super white and then all of a sudden coming to a super black town and but
it's been like, I love it though. I love that I get to see different walks of life, you know, as it relates to me being me and me being black. But you're right, what does black really mean? Like you know, is it skin color? Is it like you said, is it culture? Like if you can't whip in Nane, are you less black? I don't know. I think they should tell us, like what do you think being black? Neids? I would love to hear from the people from the
folks listening at home. What do you think being black? Waves? Sweet us at the BA podcast, Facebook us this is what I think black mets at Brown Ambition on Facebook and email us at.
Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. You can read those emails.
I'm good. I don't want to read They're gonna be like you're not black enough. I'm like, oh no.
We're not. We're asking what do you think yourselves yet? Like not not, we're not asking Mandy or me, but what you just think that being black needs?
What's going to happen when my last name is all of a sudden, like like my new name will be Santos, that's my new last name.
Then you know what's going to happen? Everyone who who's Hispanic. When they see you and you don't speak Spanish, they'recause I think they're trying to deny your culture.
They're gonna.
I feel like people will be like, oh, you're in Hispanish like that is like I feel like people will be finally like, oh that makes sense. Yeah you look brown, you're probably probably Dominican.
Yep.
But I love I love being ambiguous because it's allowed me to travel and blend in everywhere I go.
I could blend it.
In Brazil, I blended in in Chili and Argentina like I love blending in. No one asks me any questions.
That's awesome though. You're right though, because you're right, you could. You're like, they're what they call it, uh racially ambiguous. Actually buzz he just had a did you see that article about celebrities you didn't know uh were like biracial or whatever. But some of them.
Look at Rashida Jones.
Yeah, yeah, I mean Quincy Jones is her father brown man, you know, and look at what we all knew that what's her face was? Uh, what's her name? Mariah Carrey was, But there were some people on there that I didn't know, like uh, some young well some of these people are too young for us to really care about. But yeah, wow, that was a long brown break. Did you even do your brown break or not?
But I can do a brown break from people asking me what I am? Okay, that's good, how black I am and telling me whether or not I'm black.
Yes, we could definitely take a break from that. So a matter of fact, don't get up the emails. I think that we're taking over. We're taking a brown break from that, and we're canceling that.
I really wanted this podcast to not just speak to speak of women of color, you know.
That's why it's called ambition.
And I think that even though we may not like I may not be Hispanic, and you may not be Indian American or some other race, you know, Like I feel like there are shared experiences of being other that we can all relate to and speak from. And that's why that was the whole sort of impetus for this podcast. And I hope it feels inclusive and people feel like they can get something out of it no matter where you're from.
Yeah, I think so. I don't think we get like super race happy most of the time. I mean, but it's good to bring it up when it comes up, you.
Know, definitely, definitely, So let's.
Go right into wins when right when the two of us, I like that song Ben, that's just random anyway. So a win and what is a good win?
I have a win?
Okay, what well?
I kind of told you about this before, but this week, I mean, I don't want to talk about my current employer too much, but this week I asked.
For a raise.
Ooh, how did it go?
I don't think my boss is listening to this, so hopefully, you know, I think it went. It went well, and I hadn't planned on doing it.
I didn't have, like, you know, I didn't have a PowerPoint slide presentation of my you know, accomplishments for the past year. But I just know that the cute that third quarter is really an important in time to ask for promotion and a raise because this is the time when they make all the decisions going into the last quarter before the fiscal year ends. So from a strategy point,
I was like, now, we're never now or never. He was very receptive, and I'm really glad I did it because one thing he told me was, Wow, no one else has asked me this all year, like no one else.
Has asked, and I'm like, yep, you know what.
The first thing I did was I went back to my desk and I told the two One of my two close work friends are both women. I was like, ladies, do not be afraid to ask, go ask for a raise. And I know one of them went to ask, and I'm pretty sure the other one's going to ask soon. Good And I was like, there's and you know, I didn't even feel like, oh, you know, I don't want to tell anybody that this guy you know, seems open to it.
You know. I wanted to share that because.
I feel like information is power, Yeah, and we should tell each other everything we know about what it's, what it takes to get to the next level. And there's enough out there for everybody. So I was pretty proud of that moment. I mean, who knows if it'll happen.
But still, the fact that you ask, that's huge, you know, and you never know.
If you don't ask, all you do is get.
Bitter, exactly. The answers always know if you don't ask.
And I will say this, I didn't We're supposed to have reviews and I didn't get a review this this past quarter, and everyone no one got a review, and everyone's sort of just let you know, they grumbled about it, but no one actually did anything. And I was like, I'm just going to ask my manager for a review and I'm going to ask for a raise.
I'm just going to do it.
And I hear people complaining about, oh, my manager doesn't never give me a chance to you know, have a review or sit down with me.
And sometimes you just got to do it yourself.
I'm not saying it's not ideal, but you got to take the initiative sometimes if your vanager is not doing it for you because he's not there to mean he's not, they're not. They have so much on their plate. You know, one employee maybe isn't the priority. So you have to, you know, speak up for yourself in that way.
Exactly. The squeak what is it, The squeaky wheel gets the oil.
I'm a squeaky wheel. I'm just squeaky everything.
And then let me tell you, I was nosing about trying to figure everybody makes like what can I ask for?
What's possible? I ask all the awkward questions. I'm squeaky that's good. Get in trouble one day.
No, most people are not are not squeaky. What was I going to say?
Uh?
My win is I'm leaving tomorrow morning on my first international speaking gig. Woo whoo. I'm excited. It's in Barbados. It's for this this Bridle magazine called Munoluchi Bridle. They're having a they have an annual kind of like bridal conference.
Can you get me any coupons or like a free copy in the magazine? Oh?
Yeah, true, I should I forgot about that, Like yeah. So they asked me to come speak because they're do this conference and all these Bridal professionals flying from all around the world. Some are coming as far as like Africa. Yeah, so it's dope. I guess they've done this before.
Oh I'm looking at the Instagram.
Ooh, I know, very fancy. And so they.
Were like samples back.
Well maybe get true. And she asked me to come because she said one of the number one things I guess the participants of the last conference that they wanted to learn about was how do you budget as a as a business owner? And I was like, okay, I can come talk about that, and she was like, you know, obviously, like the hotel, flight, food, all that stuff is free. And I was like okay, and then she was like you can bring anybody. Like I was like, Superman, do
you want to fly? And he was like yes, And I said, well, let's see, like how much extra costs, and she's like, no, it'd be no additional cost for him. He just have to get his flight. So then I checked to see I said, you know, he has a credit card. I said, well, let's see between my points and your credit card if we have enough points to get a free flight. And we did, so, I know what, five days, four nights in like a resort in Barbados
for free. So I'm super excited and just I know we're just gonna have a ton of fun and like literally it's just straight vacation for him. And I only speak one hour on one day, so the rest is just pure vacation.
Holy crap. And they give you five days. That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, so yeah, I'm looking at their instagram right now. That's why I got quiet. It's really pretty stuff.
Yeah. No, I'm really excited about them.
Are you talking about how to save and budget while you're with the business while you're playing a wedding.
No, I'm talking about because these are all bridal professionals, So I'm more so talking about how do you oh yeah, how do you save? Or really just how do you budget when you're when you have an irregular income? You know? So that's what I would, you know, be talking because everybody kind of struggles with that, especially at the beginning. And you know, so I was like, you know what, I know I did well? How believe this is the end of BA podcasts. We are signing off. I still
have packing to do. I just looking at my toes, like, yikes, I can't go to Barbados with these toes looking like this. Y'all. I know I have so much to do, but you know what, I'm excited and I can't wait to I would say get a tan, but I mean I was born with these sands, so you know, God did it?
Builtin's on screen, That's what I call it. Yep, have so much fun. I'm so excited for you.
I can't wait too. Superman's like, are you gonna bring your computer? I'm like, who are you talking to? Of course? Oh Vaca't you don't stop work? I mean, I'm not going to work extra extra like I normally do. But I have things to.
Do, right, you know, I have a lot of fun.
All right. Well, we will see you guys next week. I hope you enjoyed and keep in contact with us. Tweete while I'm away.
What's your Twitter?
Oh? The Budgetnista and Mandy Mandy woodroff Right, Mandy.
With I at Mandy Woodward with an I and at the BA podcast. You left hearing from you guys.