Yay, I'm back. I feel like I've been doing a lot of Tripolitely.
Tell me about it.
So well, first, hey ba listeners, how you are, how you been? If you're new, welcome, full up a seat. Well, I don't know, you know, I just got back to Australia and then I went to Arizona for a special gathering of West Africans West African Vultron.
To be fully correct, I thought I felt an electric current go through the universe this weekend and I was like, what's happening? And then I saw your Instagram and I was like, oh, it's the future power of Nigerian Americans in the Grand Canyon and wherever the hell you guys were.
Yeah, we were in Sedona and Phoenix. So it was Nigerians, well Nigerians Ganans. I think it's someone who's Cameroonian. So just being a group of dope with that, you said, who was Cameronian?
Now I said, ooh, I've never met anyone from Cameroon. Cameroon. I had to think backwards, like.
What a Cameroonian be called? Yeah, So honestly the group started because I believe so a friend of mine, Lovey from awesomely lovey. Many of you probably know her to the New York Times best seller blogger and just all around badass.
Did she get her sticker?
She did, you know, yeah, and I'm so glad she made that fuss because she got the sticker and the new her book I'm Judging You, which is a New York Times bestseller. Again she it's in hard dack now, so it's available like wherever books are sold. Oh are you kidding? Men?
She did the reverse, so she started out paperback and then went hardcover. Yeh, tristan cool.
I'm not sure why, like how that works, but yeah.
So she we apparently went to our guess met a whole bunch of dope folks at like some event a couple years back, and they stayed connected because there were the few brown people that were there and they all happened to be West African and some exclusive like you know, like conference or something like invite only conference, and she was like, you know, we should all connect, and then they did and they started kind of inviting their friends in so Lovely actually invited me, and then the other
folks who she was at that conference with started inviting their friends, and before you knew it, know it. We started kind of like a chat like WhatsApp, and before it was just kind of like, you know, just group chat. But now it's really starting to evolve. And so I'm excited because but I didn't really know what half the people did. I just knew that they seemed fun and dope, and you know, I think I had done an initial Google search, you know, on some of them, like oh,
well who's that, Oh who's that? Oh wow? And then after a while I was like I just stopped. I'm like, ah, they just started cool in the group been So, you know, we a few months back, someone was like, we should really I think, you know, there was we all met up at essence Fest, or like a large chunk of us were either speaking or participating in somewhere at essence Fest, and so we all had like lunch and we all went to like concert and backstage and we just had
a really good time together. And we started thinking like we should really make this a deeper connection. And so three of the young women from the group, Opal Funa and Justina, they they put together this Wave Summit and it was dope. The house was amazing, I mean, like MTV cribs amazing. Even people who were like in the group who's who run in circles with fancy folks, were like, whoa, this house was amazing. It was so amazing. I didn't even feel comfortable. I was like, what is this? This
is like a set, you know. And so it was beautiful and it was set right in the mountains, so you could see all the red mountains and and we spent a lot of time just like talking to getting getting to know one another and figuring out how we can help each other, and just like hanging out and connecting. Honestly, it was really dope's It's crazy to be among high achievers and to see what that looks like mixed with different personalities, you know, because everyone here is like a
super high achiever. Honestly, I kept thinking to myself, why am I here? I feel like a freshman for all these seniors, you know. And that was nice too. It was nice to kind of just sit back in awe and just be like, what, She's the one who made what her business is doing, what this one is doing? What? You know? So I just kept being like.
What so y'all like, oh, sorry, y'all, Like so basically it's like a group trip you rent to like an Airbnb or like a house.
Yeah it was an Airbnb, but it was a super face. Yeah, so just to like get to know each other and figure out what do we want to do with this, like you know, this tremendous power we have you know, No, I'm just but yeah, so it was Honestly, it was
really awesome. But yeah, I learned some really great lessons just about balance and harmony and that I used to always think, like, well, once I get to a certain level, certain I won't have certain issues anymore, like certain like I'll figure out balance and I'll figure out how to make everything work and I won't still be worried about
messing up. And yeah, that's not true. It's like, oh, like so just to see what it looked like from I don't want to say at the top, because everybody's still striving, but to kind of see what it looked like from like to me extreme achievement and to see like to learn that I have to learn how to manage the emotion of expectation and not getting everything I want or whatever now because just because I achieved more,
that those feelings don't go away. So to see it in folks like that, like, no, you just better figure out how to manage it now, because that the more you achieve, the more you want to achieve, and the more you're going to mess up, and the more you're going to be unsure. Certain things that net never really goes away. It's just human. So it was really nice to see that. I was, like I was telling Drina. She didn't come with me, but I was just telling when I got home, like we need some more like
real life, in person friends. Not to say the waves are not my friends, but you know what I mean, like the folks that you connect to regularly, like you know that aside from us who are growing a business, because it's a weird space because you don't know sometimes how you're doing, you know what I mean. Like when I had a job, you know, and I was a teacher, it was clear there were these clear markers of like, Okay, the kids can read, and I'm here on time, and
my left the plants are done. But when you work for yourself, sometimes I'm like out here floating and I don't know how I'm doing. Honestly, I'm like, am I doing good? I don't know? I mean because money is not is not a good enough like measuring stick, because sometimes you will randomly make money and you're like, yeah, I didn't that was a mistake, but okay, you know, and so and sometimes too, you know, you will be
busting your behind and it won't work. So it's like it's the feedback for you know, when you're an actual or sometimes it's difficult to gauge where am I and how am I doing? And because you can get so much in the weeds that you feel like, am I doing well? You know, because I don't know what it looks like from the outside, and even still just because it looks good from the outside doesn't mean it's really
good on the inside. So it was just nice to kind of like look at like, you know, it's almost like it was like looking in like in ad mirror, even if it was an advanced mirror of like, oh okay, so you know, I can kind of see what it looks like and kind of like what my my markers and my goals are, you know. Yeah, so that was cool about it. So when you do this weekend, I saw you in that pool.
Oh I had some self care took care of maybe this weekend that place was amazing. Yeah, my friends are so nice and there's just massive, like just I don't know this huge spa type facility that I passed. I just drove by it one day in Jersey and Edgewater if you're familiar with that area, and I was like, I want to see what's in there. And I mentioned
it in passing one of my girlfriends. And then from my birthday, a bunch of my my little group of friends got together and got me a gift card and it just kind of like sat forever, and finally this weekend, I was like, I'm going and it was magical, Like I mean when you talk about spending money on an experience where you feel like that was worth all the pennies.
It was only seventy five. It was seventy five dollars, but you get access to just endless rooms of different like saunas and hot tubs and cold pools and warm pools and pools outside and pools inside and comfy chairs you can just recline in and look at the view and I mean, like, what is the name.
Of the spot? And how far work in Jersey City.
It's only it's like a thirty minute twenty thirty minute drive from Jersey City. Yeah, you have you have to go.
You have to go. Take a friend. I just want whether, I just want a good My best my best girlfriend who she like runs, she loves the spa, and she took me one time to like one of those janky bath houses in the city in Manhattan, and I was like, I don't know if I'm ever coming back here, like cause it's like in the basement and it's you know, it's New York, so you can't fit a big spa, so they're like they're leaking and you don't know where
all the web the water is coming from. And you're like there's Randos, you know, sitting in the spa next to you, and the sauna next to you. And I wasn't sure if I was ever going to go back. But this place was like spectacular, so clean. The women and men are separate for the in the like the pools and saunas area, and then there's like a communal area and then there's there's like four different levels and they have restaurant, they have a smoothie bar.
And I think this place, like it.
Sounds like something Correll will do, will do.
Yeah, he's very fancy.
You can, so like you get like the day pass what we did. Day pass just gets you access to all the spas a Sonnets whatever. But if you want like special treatments, that's extra, like massages and things like that. But those looked amazing. But it was just such a nice day and I had a I had like a really busy weekend and I don't know, I just it was it was awesome. Would four stars will go back? So Joe spot Club, if you're listening, you know, give
me a discount next time. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, it was really nice weekend. And uh, I don't know about I don't know about you, but before the holidays, I feel like work gets more and more intense because I feel like I was working this weekend because I wanted to get ahead of the short week and I'm just like I feel like I am skidding across the finish line. Just I'm just I feel like I'm not going to relax until I get on the flight to
Atlanta tomorrow night. I'm just gonna like power through these next two days. But I am ready because I cannot wait for my dad's cornbread stuffing. I haven't I can't wait. This is my first time back in Atlanta for Thanksgiving in like nine years. I think. I don't think I've been back since college. Yeah, it's been a long time.
Like in general Atlanta or you mean just for the holidays.
Boy, for the specific Thanksgiving holiday, yeah, which is my favorite food holiday. I'm like, I've gone back the week before and like two weeks later, but I haven't been back on the actual holiday since college.
So my mom just texting yesterday was like, so, yeah, Thanksgiving, I'm not cooking.
I was like, wait, what it's canceled?
I was like wait what? She was like, meanwhile, who taught her how to group text talking about I'm tired? And I was like, Mommy, like, that's something you tell people like the week before, so we can like we can like pull it out. She was like, oh, I'll figure it out. So and I still expect everybody to be at the house with food in hand. So I was like, wait, I don't have the time to figure out. So I call my favorite so food spot. I'm like, so, how much does a full Thanksgiving dinner car? And they
were like one hundred and five bucks. I'm like, what does that come with? They're like a full turkey and five sides, and I think like a dessert. I was like, really four hundred and five bucks. So I told my sisters, everybody have twenty five bucks and they said yes. I'm like, well, Thanksgiving is back on.
Wait what do you gonna eat, miss vegan?
I know on sides honestly, likely just some side. And my mom, even though she said she's not cooking, she's going to cook. Like my mom cannot help but cook. She just means she doesn't want to do the huge overhaul. She'll probably make like like cause Nigeria's we tend to have a lot of vegetable dishes, so like she'll probably make like two or three of those or whatever. She just doesn't want to do, like the root or to the tutor, you know.
I hear that, and I feel like Thanksgiving should be a pot look like everyone's sort of break, like, yeah, the host does the turkey and the main sides like a pumpkin pie and the stuffing and stuff, but then everyone else brings stuff. That's what makes it so much fun, at least like in my fam.
Yeah, no, everyone, I told everyone, you know, bring your twenty five bucks and then bring whatever side or dessert you're going to bring, so we should. We always have way more than we need, but at least, like I know that the main step is done, you know.
So I'm like, Okay, my dad speaking of more than you need. Every year, at least when I was growing up. He probably still does this, but every year after Thanksgiving he takes he like wraps up plates of leftover food and he'll just go under the highway overpasses, I mean male privilege, right, and just drop off bags to homeless people. He used to take me with him, and I'd be like, oh, Dad, no, I don't know, but you know, you grow up, you start to respect your parents' quirky habits.
Yeah, no, that's awesome.
Yeah yeah, I'm really excited. And then and it started. I'm starting to feel like Chrimas time, I'm already having the argument with my siblings, like are we gonna do gifts? No, we're not going to do gifts. Someone wants to do gifts. Somebody wants to do white Elephant, Like we're going through that whole situation right now, but any day now Christmas time, Yeah, I.
Think we're gonna do I sign up for the one that you suggested last year, draw names or something.
Yeah, there's a bunch of those like name drawing sites.
I love it until you've shared that site. So for those of you who were like, what's that? So Mandy told me about the site last year, I think it was. I think it was originally called Secret Santa or something, but it ends up really being the site called draw
names dot com. Totally free. So if you do like that kind of the gift exchange where you choose one person out of a group and that kind of thing, it's great because you put in your budget like whatever it is, like the gift can't be more than twenty five dollars, and then everyone puts in their name and their email and like three gifts or whatever that they'd like.
So you've got to choose, and then the thing, the program or their website for free will send you your person, like you've got Karen, and here's the three things she'd like, and here's the general budget, like so you pick a budget overall for everyone. So it's awesome because my sisters and I used to do it every year anyway, but we would literally pick names out of a bowl and then I would always forget like, wait, who's my person?
So every year I forget and so I just remember because draw Names just actually emailed me like it's that kind of year again. I was like, look at draw.
Name, Oh so good marketing.
Exactly, and then two, what's so awesome you could say you can actually put in there. Make sure you don't get the person from last year. You're like, look at Johnny, I don't even remember who I had last year, you know.
So yeah, I'm excited to see like my niece, my nephew, my mom, my dad, my sisters, and of course Hobby is gonna come, and then we're gonna my mom always has an early dinner like three, I don't know why, and then we're going to go to his sisters afterwards and spend, you know, spend the rest of the evening there.
So a blended holiday, but now it's weird. I was selfish this year for Thanksgiving. I was like, I'm not seeing any other family. I just want to see my immediate family. I'm not like cause you know, like I don't know. Growing up, I was always going to like different houses and different things, and it's just I just want to park it and just be somewhere and I have to be in traffic driving all over the city. But for Christmas, we are doing first of all, wire
flights to Minneapolis, like nine hundred dollars for two people. Ridiculous. I don't know, You're not are you? You're not traveling for Christmas?
Are you no favorites New Jersey?
I'm telling Christmas on a weekend is the worst because like first year, have the first waymie of like, it's the holiday, so tickets are always more expensive, but I think the fact that it falls on a weekend just made everything so much more expensive. Like last year, I bought tickets to visit my mom for Christmas and they were less than three hundred dollars each, and this year it was four fifty apiece. So I was like, and I could have gone to Europe, but yeah, right, I
guess I'll go to Minneapolis instead. Yeah, out out out. And then they have those basic economy seats which they don't even like do you have you ever gotten basic economy by accident? Yes, it's the worst. You can't bring a carry on, like, you don't get to choose your seat. I don't think it's.
Guarantee the middle You're like, they're like, well, you're guaranteed the middle, and I'm like, honestly, the airlines are trash and they're getting trash here by the day, so pray for your right. I know. It's like, uh, because you're looking, I'm like, so wait, there's actually lower than low.
Oh.
Thanks, guaranteed middle guaranteed, no outlet guaranteed.
Like guaranteed to board last. So everyone can just you know, watch everyone go before you. Yeah, I'm done. I'm like, okay, I'll spend the extra forty bucks to not feel like second rate, third rate, fifth rate. Yeah, a lot of days. What else is happening? Christy Tiagan and John Legend are having a baby, another one. They're allowed to have them as many as they want.
Yeah, No, I love that because I know that they were having a hard time before.
You know, oh I remember that. Yeah, when she like cried she had a didn't wait, she used to have a TV show or something, and she like cried talking about what how did they do? Were they like doing in vitro or something? I forget I.
Think so, And honestly, they she just was having such a hard time. I remember she talked about that everyone want to feel like when you guys gonna have kids, and she said that it'd always break her heart because they were trying. And you know, people think like, well, you don't have kids. You know, sometimes it's because you just don't want, but sometimes there are literally women who've
been trying for years. So when you're like, so you're in your huschood, I'm not gonna have kids, You're like, oh, thanks, because you know I've been trying, but for some reason, I'm not able. So like, especially now that I'm like older, now that we're trying and we're having a hard time, that like I'm more sensitive to that because you know, it seemed like such an innocent question, like, oh, you guys gonna have kids? What are you waiting on?
Like h and it's the holidays coming up? So you know, any any single women out there? This is this is our dreaded I mean I just said hour, but you're dreaded. It was mine too. Last year, it was what's the wedding coming up? What you got planned? It's always something. Now it's are you gonna have a baby? When you gonna have a baby? Yes, just women in general. Man, I'm like, can you talk to my husband? Here's his phone, number. He's right over there on the couch. Go go ask
him these questions. Oh, awkward family, awkward family holiday talks exactly. It's exciting for them.
No, it is exciting, and I'm happy for her. I'm just glad my mom started to cut out because we used to do these huge family gatherings where it was like whose house it was like maybe five families, we would rotate houses. But the last couple of Thanksgiving it's been really small, which I like, it's just literally my sister's, my mom and my dad and then sometimes an auxiliary friend that somebody might bring or like, you know, like a random husband or so. But it's been really intimate
and just nice. You know.
I love it small and cozy and no randos.
Exactly because that means it means that it's less there's less likely to be not that we ever have drama, but less likely to have those awkward none of your business questions.
Yeah, totally, yeah, you could just play them. Tracy Ellis Ross's speech from the Glamour The Glamour Women of the What was it Women of the Year Awards? Did you see her with.
No Drina went? Which I was so jelly, But whatever.
You guys getting all the fun stuff. But she well, you can, you can from the comfort of your own home. You can watch the clip of Tracy Ellis at Ross's speech. She gave a speech basically on just that, like she's forty five, doesn't have a husband, doesn't have kids, and how she like she's talking about basically how she came to terms with that and what she tells people when
they question her. But uh, yeah, I imagine that's really frustrating, especially when, like, you know, in her speech, she's like, I know, I haven't done these two things baby in marriage, but I have done like a million other things, right, you know.
Why does that become the qualifier? Like, you know, it's so weird because it's like, before you know, I got married, it was like, oh, oh, you built a sixth figure and a seventh figure business. Oh, especially after being a preschool teacher and losing your job. All those things are good, you know, and you got married, Oh my god, you got oh. Like I'm like, because that was way easier
than everything else totally, and it's so crazy. I feel like, you know, if I'm blessed to be get pregnant, which of course is such a blessing, and I know people are going to be excited, but it's not something where it's not like, aside from you know, the regular stuff, there's nothing I can do about my body deciding whether or it's going to happen, you know what I mean. Like,
it's not like I can I can. I can put in work to make the budgetista be successful, but and I mean, I can do my best as far as the baby's concerned, but ultimately, my body's gonna do. My body's gonna do. So it's so disheartening that that's like you're like, you get a gold shiny metal You're a real woman now, you know, Like you know that part is frustrating because you're like, that's why I share with you guys about like the fibroids and like the trying
and because you know, it's not easy. And so there might be a woman that you know and you're like, well, why don't you any kids? And meanwhile she's like, thanks, I had a miscarriage yesterday, but okay, you know, yeah, no, you know, and so yeah, it's not easy at all. All right, So are you ready to boost or break? Brown boosts? Brown break? What you're gonna do Are you ready?
I'm ready born ready.
Well, I think I'm gonna take a break from the whole Black Friday Cyber Monday thing. Like I mean, don't get me wrong, like if there's something you're kind of squatting on, like ooh, I've been wanting this hair dryer or this vacuum clean or whatever, but I feel like the marketers are winning and you're getting stuff that you're like I don't really need or I don't really want or you know.
What I mean.
Like, I just feel like I'm just taking a break because I asked my husband last night, Oh, my husband, it always sounds it still sounds crazy. Does it still sounds crazy to you? My husband?
When you say it, it sounds a lot less awkward than saying fiance, Like fiance, I felt like, oh, fiance have potentious I don't know, but I honestly say husby, it's really weird. I should probably not say that, but I started saying husbye, and I just can't stop.
But yeah, whenever I say husband, I'm always like wait, who oh my god head right there? So yeah, So I was asking him what do you want for you know, Christmas? And he was like honestly, I just want to be happy, and I'm like, okay, aside from that, and he was like, honestly, he wants a stereo system, but he was like, I don't want to get it here where we are because I want when we get to the house that we
install one specifically for the house. So I said, okay, so that's not something you know that I'm gonna get. And then for Supergirl, I mean, I don't think she wants anything super techy. I feel like that Black Friday and Cyber Money are great times to get deals on like tech items or like a big ticket item. And
she's pretty easy, honestly. For some reason, she's really into doll babies right now, like she wasn't when she was younger, and now she's like American Girl, you know, or whatever the equivalent is a Target and like doll baby clothes. She's eleven, so she know she's still in that age, and so she's super easy. Honestly, I could spend like fifty bucks at Target and rack up and she'd be like, oh my god, you know. So other than that, I just feel like there's nothing, really, like I don't have
anything even for myself. There's no tech gadget that I kind of want. So I don't really have any plans I'm spending buying anything on Cyber Money or a Black Friday, but I just want to take a break from it or maybe a pause and make sure that you are going to get something for Black Friday or Cyber Money. You're not just getting stuff because you're just getting it,
you know, Like you know, like make your list. So one thing I do do for for the holiday season is I kind of make a list of like everyone I'm potentially gonna get gifts for, and then I kind of map out like, oh, I likely get her this and him this and then that just so, and then I kind of write down how much each item is
gonna cost. So I have a basic working budget. So I'm not like, cause one thing I've never had is credit card debt after the holiday seasons like ever ever, you know, because I'm like, well, one of my sisters will get something we're not getting all fult for because we have that draw names. I have a niece and nephew now, but he's too and she's seven months, so literally I can give him a lot about it and they're like yay, you know, you don't have a god son.
He's too as well, So I mean, you know, there just would be like ten bucks maybe because they have so many toys already. So and I might not even give them a gift honestly or something really an expensive and then put money in there. I have. I have accounts for all of them and so and my parents are fairly easy.
Like savings accounts are like IRA.
Yes, I'm trying to God what to do because they're still really young. I'm trying to figure out where to put their money. I want to ask my financial advisor, like, okay, I give them one hundred dollars for each year that they're born on their birthday, so it's I have an account for Supergirl, my niece, my nephew, and my godson. So that's four kids. And so for a Supergirl, when she turns eleven, I put eleven hundred dollars in her account.
My nephew turned two, two hundred dollars, and then they get fifty bucks a month.
That's going to be expensive.
I know, I don't even know why I started it like that or whatever.
So when she turns twenty one, yeah.
But you know what though, it said, I want it really for by the time, I mean forever and ever. I don't know when I'm going to stop it. Maybe when maybe when she turns twenty one and then. But I'm trying to figure out, like is it for college or what is it gonna be? But I you know, I've been consistently like putting money toward it to decide. But I'm trying to figure out where's the best place to put it because I feel like, obviously a savings
account isn't it. But I also don't want to put it in in a five.
Or one, well no one, five two nine plan.
Yes, which is the college savings plan, because I don't know what college is going to be like in ten years, and I don't want to lock their money into a into a plan that they get penalized if it's not used for certain things.
You know, yeah, five two nine plans. It can only be used for college expenses, although you can transfer it to other people like another niece or nephew or like a relative or something. But why not just like have their parent open a custodial ira for them.
I was thinking that, like that was something that I was thinking that that might be the way is to put it in a custodial iray so it can't grow and then it can be use. Now if it's a custodial ira with like a regular ira, or does it is it? Do they have to wait for it to fully mature until they're like retirement age in order to not have any penalty for withdrawing.
No, I think that you can. I think it depends on what they're withdrawing the funds for. But I think you can use it. For example, like if you're going to put a down payment on a house, you can. I think you can probably use it to pay for education expenses. You can definitely use it for retirement. I mean, what do you I guess it. I guess it depends on what you want them to be able to do with the money. But in terms of like when they
have access to it, I think it would. I think they get access to it when they turn eighteen, and then you kind of like give the keys to them and they can go forth. They could roll it over into whatever they wanted to roll it over into.
Okay, I like that custodial ira. I'm gonna do a little more digging because I've been asking myself, like Tiffany, you know better than to keep this into this low performing even though it's ally but low performing savings account. I've just been dragging my feet about where to put it, you.
Know, yeah here you I mean, you could just open up like a coast total IRA somewhere like wherever you have your brokerage account, and then you know, you can always roll it over or they could always roll it over when we finally have access to it. As long as you roll it over to another IRA should be fine, like if they don't like the company or something like that.
Okay, I like that.
Hm, Okay, our friends have like five two nine plans that we just put the money there because that's where they want it to go. But yeah, I think what you say makes sense because, like I mean, I guess like they're assuming college is always going to be really expensive. But what if you don't need all the money.
Exactly, or just like what if because like I'm pretty sure Supergirl is going to go, but like the baby is too, Like you know, in sixteen years, people might be going to like do like college might not be the thing that that it is. And now you know what I mean, And I just don't want to lock them into like, oh, you know what instead or what if Like my nephew is like sixteen and like this
super genius and he wants to start a company. I don't want him to not to be able to say, you know, I really like to use his money to invest in my company.
Okay, yeah, I mean Mark. You could also do CDs, like a long term CD, like if you really don't want like if you know they're not going to touch it until you know, ten fifteen years from now, can put in CDs that might earn more than a I know, my grandma put mine in like a I don't even know what it was back when savings bonds had raped had like you could earn something on a savings bond and then I got it when I forget how old I was, I think must have like high school graduation
or something. But yeah, I feel like a CD might Maybe that's like the maybe that's like the even the middle ground. If you don't want to lock it up until at fifty nine and a half, you know, in IRA, or if it until they go to college, then maybe you could just do like CDs just so you're earning them a little bit more.
I wonder though with a CD, because you know, like how I contribute fifty bucks a month? I wonder how that works? Like, can do I add money? Do I have to get a CD every month? You know what I mean?
Oh? Can you continue adding money? Good question? I don't know.
Yeah, I think that's that's a good question to ask. I'm gonna sit down with Maybe I'll just even call like ally just to see, like just to get a base because that is a good idea, because you know you're right though, because if you're going to save money for little ones in your life, you want to maximize your interest because they can actually take advantage, like all the stuff that you said, I wish I knew this when I was younger. You get to do it for someone who.
Is younger exactly.
But yeah, so Brown, break from these from using all tricking up all your money Black Friday. Get something that you've been like having your eye on, but make your list for the people that you want to buy things for, and try not to just get stuff just to get stuff like oh but it's on sale, but you're not really saving if you weren't on to buy it anyway. But no judgment, no judgment, but a side I.
I'm just gonna hide. I'm not going anywhere Black Friday. It's a nightmare. The one thing I do allow myself to do is Black Friday always has really good clothing sales, like online, so I will like get new genes. That's my new gene day. I don't know how hy jeans are so important, but anyway, that's my one allowance. Yeah. So my brown break is also going to be holiday themed. And I was thinking back about one of the mistakes I made. I used to work at Coals. For those
of you, I don't think I've mentioned that before. When I was in college and they used to pressure us to like sell, I worked at the Gap and at Coals, and I was like one of the top sales reps because I could get anybody to open up a Coals charge or a Gap card. They were like, yeah, I was like, really good at it. I had no idea what the hell I was telling them, but I was like, yeah, open up this gap card. You get fifteen percent of today. It's amazing. Your hair looks great, you look fatulous, those
jeans look amazing on you. Of course you want a gap card. Just keep these good vibes going and I would open up like dozens of GAP cards per month, and they would reward us for it. You would get like pizza, You would get a little cash bonus depending on how many cards you would sell people on. And
the Gap and Coles both did this. And it wasn't until obviously I grew up and you know, started writing about personal finance and learning more about like the products out there, that I realized how freaking terrible retail store cards are. And I was like, oh snap, so many times I put people on this path toward destruction. I had no idea, Like I myself opened up a Coals charge card in college and it was like a very
small limit. It was like six hundred dollars, and I would just like charge stuff there and I was like, man, why is And I would be paying the minimum balance and one day I loose in my account and it was more than six hundred dollars because financing charges were like the APR when I was in school was twenty six point nine to nine percent, which is crazy, And I think you save what ten percent when you open up the card, But if you're like saving ten percent
today and you're going to carry a balance and then you're going to get charged twenty six percent, twenty seven percent almost like the next month. It makes no sense. Yeah, but I feel like, I mean, I just want you to be on everywhere anyone who's going shopping on Black Friday or whatever anytime really, because they're always pushing credit cards.
Just think about it before you take the like you take the carrot that they're dangling in front of you, Like, is it really gonna be worth that ten percent off? If one I'm gonna ding my credit score by applying for this, and two I'm not going to be able to pay off the balance and I'm just gonna get dragged for the next ten months or however long you know,
with these interest charges before you sign up. And also I apologize for what I contributed to this cas how I have a guilty conscious about like.
I was whoa because you have you still have a baby face, so you probably just like, oh my gosh, this cute girl off, how do you know what I'm gonna apply? You're like, okay, great.
Once or twice you'd get the sassy customer to be like you don't even know what you're selling, do you? Like you know, like the woke the woke bomb, that is me. I mean, I don't know, I'm sorry. Yeah.
So my sister used to always be like, like whatever you go out, she's like, oh God, like what someone's like, would you like to sign up for a credit card? She's always like, oh God, please yes, And if they
push it, I'm like she's asking for it. Then I'm like, ma'am, do you know that every time you ask somebody to apply for one of these cards they could potentially use up to thirty points depending on how many cars they've applied for before, And that these store cards to interest rates are ridiculous and you're actually destroying their financial future. And then I always felt so bad after it because I always looking like I didn't I didn't know. I
didn't I didn't know. And I'm like, will you think about that next time you signed somebody up for a card, haven't, I say.
Mike drop Yeah, yep. All right, we Rea did some questions, yes, question quicker questions. So we have a good question today and if you guys want to submit a question, you can go to Brian Ambition podcast dot com or hit us up on Gmail at Brian Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com or Facebook or LinkedIn or smoke signal. Whatever today's question comes from doesn't want to be named. So I just read a post about Shonda Rhyme, so I'm just gonna say her name is Shonda. So here's Shonda's question.
First of all, thank you for the podcast. You're welcome. She says, I'm currently stuck between a hard and a rock place a heart and I just read that completely wrong. That was me. I'm sorry, Shonda, you didn't write it wrong. I'm just tired. Okay, sorry. Her question is about voluntary reprossessions on her car, so okay. She says, I'm currently stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm a single mother of a special needs child. His medical expenses
are getting more expensive daily. Unfortunately, I don't qualify for any assistance due to my income. I'm at a point in which I'd like to purchase a house. My dilemma is that I can't save any money due to my almost six hundred dollars car. Note. I can't get a refinanced because the balance is too high. My question is, do you recommend a voluntary repossession of my car. I'm a member of a credit union that will find excuse me. I'm a member of my credit union that will finance
a new car. My concern is that I will have a repossession on my credit report that will hinder me from purchasing a home. I'm looking into purchasing using the NACA program, which is a little more lenient. But how bad will a what is that National Association of Credit and you look that up anyway, how bad will repossession look on my credit report? I'm out of options? Thanks in advance? Oh she called her? She signed it stuck.
Oh well, And I share that when I met Superman, he had this big, old, beautiful Denali it was whatever that new year was, and his co sign it was none other than his lovely ex girlfriend who you can imagine. I was thrilled and Superman because he didn't have me in his life. His car payment, Mandy, if you could imagine, was nine hundred dollars a month.
Yikes, And I was like, oh how, I.
Honestly don't know where he Like, I don't know he went to the dealership, and I'm assuming that he got financing through the dealership. Honestly, I don't know. Nine hundred dollars a month and the reason why he felt comfortable paying nine hundred because where he worked, he he actually got rent for free, so he wasn't paying to live because he was like on call, like you know. So he was like cause he was like on call like handyman, so he was like, hey, I lived for free. I
could get this big, shiny new car. He didn't have great credit, so they probably finagled, you know how it is. They twisted turn and they finago and you get a co signer and somehow you get to nine hundred a whole dollars a month. I remember being like, I've never even heard of that before, and then I was like, so on top of that, you're paying insurance, so you're paying a full mortgage payment for this brand new big
truck that you're driving. So like, aside from the fact that she was a co signer, I was like, something has to give. And I remember he fought me on it at first because he was like, no, I can't afford It's not like to have to pay rent, I said, but one day you might then how will you afford both?
And thankfully, you know, it was more so the girlfriend thing that made him give it up, because I was like, I can't be your girlfriend, and this girlfriend is co signed because she's using it as a reason to stay in your life, and that's not happening. And so he volunteerly had his card repode and he had to pay the balance. I forget what it was. I think maybe it was just a few thousand dollars. So you want to you want to see, there's two ways you can
do it. You can either give the car back to you know, the dealership or wherever you got it, or you could see if you can sell it for an amount that's even more than what you would give it back to. So if you could find somebody, let's just say they say the car is, you owe fifteen thousand, And if you give the car back and they say that they'll take they'll give you ten. That means you're
gonna owe five. But let's just say you're able to sell it for twelve and obviously that's probably a better look. That way, you can then give that twelve thousand dollars back to whoever you owe it to. So, but I don't believe did he sell his No. I think he just like voluntarily gave it back and just paid off the balance. And did it affect his credit, yes, but honestly not that long. I mean, you're not gonna be
able to buy a house in like six months. That's what you're looking for, you know, because he did all these other things to raise his credit up with my help, like you know, pay down your credit cards, pay on time, all this kind of stuff, and so his credit score is well in the mid seven hundreds. And you know that was maybe like I don't know, like but it got to mid seven hundreds maybe like a year or
so after him giving back the car. So it was worth it because sure enough a year or later, they were like, yeah, we no longer gonna need you to be on call. You have me right now. And I was like, you're welcome, and now we're married.
Yeah, you never right, You may be able to just afford it now, but you never know what's going to happen. Yes, the one thing I'll add to that is that what was the one thing I was going to add to that? Okay, So she asks what's she's concerned? So she wants to buy a house. She's wondering if this is going to hurt her credit. But another thing to consider is that your debt to income ratio is a huge factor in determining whether or not a lender will approve you for
a mortgage. And if you have this massive car note on your on your income or sorry, on your debt sheet, or whatever the lender looks at, this is going to hurt you, probably just as much as a credit score, a low credit score would, if not more. I would say so, I would say, that's just all the more encouragement to get rid of the debt as soon as possible.
And I mean, I don't know how you're going to save for a down payment if you've also got this six hundred dollars car note that you say you can't afford. So I think getting this car off your back as soon as you can, as wisely as you can, is probably the right answer, she says. She says, I can't get it refinanced because the balance is too high. That's probably because the the remaining balance on her car note
is worth more than the car. I think that if you are if you take the loss, which you're gonna have to do either way, if you sell the car, if you get it repossessed voluntarily, you'll have to take a loss, and oh the lender or something left over if you if another option is maybe get a loan from a friend or a family member to maybe pay it off enough so that you can refinance or pay it, you know, help you cover the balance of whatever is left after a voluntary repo or after you sell the car.
It's just it's like, there's not going to be a nice, neat sort of like answer here where you're gonna end up with no debt at the end of it. But I feel like the sooner you do this, the better than keeping this really expensive car. Note, I guess the next question is like getting it repossessed or selling it. I mean, how is she going to get around after that?
She'll have to she'll have to get another car, take the prof check the profit from whatever you sell the car for, and buy a car that's less than that.
I guess there might not even be a profit, So you have to think about that, like, what does it look like.
So well that's true, yeah, yeah, she's underwater. Yeah you know.
So we only had one car for a while as a result. And then he saved up some money I think, and ended up buying a car like a like a you know, a used car for thirty five hundred that he drove for a while. It wasn't ideal, but it was like it was cash. But you know, that took a little while and thankfully we had a two car household, so it was it wasn't super easy, but it wasn't
like impossible. So you want to ask yourself that as well, because what you don't want to do, because this is what they often suggests, is like, oh, well, well we could you know, we could roll you over into a different car, and you're still gonna oh, you know, so don't let them convince you of that.
And traded in. That's like the same thing, right, trading in, and.
Don't try to convince you of that. And you don't want to be repossessed either, because you can't afford it, like like voluntarily, like giving your car back. It's not great, but it's still better than for them to come and take it because you miss payin it.
Yeah, that's a really common problem today, So don't feel bad, Shonda, Yeah it is. And thanks for submitting your question. Another question. I think we'll end it there. We have eleven minutes. I'm trying to get you those cookies, man.
I know, So for those of you who don't know I'm trying to get to my vegan cookies from Whole Foods, and Whole Foods closes, you know, not soon, but you stood it up. So I told Mandy, I've kind of got a hard stop for a good reason, because these vegan cookies have been my mind. And I'm babysitting my niece tomorrow. She's seven months and I feel like I'm going to need a cookie break at some point, so I want to be prepared.
Babysitting tips by Tiffany.
Yes, cookies on hands.
Oh man. Luckily, no one's asked me to babysit. They're small infant, so more power to you. I mean, she's your niece, so you kind of signed up for that.
Yeah, exactly, oh man.
All right, how about some wins?
Yes? Lot? So do you want to go first?
I'd love to go first. I need to throw I need to throw a shout out to a fellow Mandy in the world. You don't see them too often. So I read this story about this entrepreneur named Mandy Bowen Bowman sorry Bowman, who wanted to make buying black a lot easier. I know we got this question a while back, like, do you recommend shopping or how do you find Like, we want to support minority own businesses, black owned businesses,
but like how do we find them? This young lady has created an app called Official Black Wall Street, which is an app that will alert you when you're near by any black owned businesses. And of course, the whole emphasis is that she wants to give quality businesses more exposure and to help customers spend their money within the black community. And I just saw it. This was awesome, So shout out to Mandy.
Yes, Mandy, you're right. You don't see too many Mandy's out there in the world. So my shout out actually goes to a fellow Wave member. Her name is Yvonne og aka Molly from Insecure. Woop woop, hey girl. She just got nominated for an NAACP Award.
They all did they yes, And yeah, yeah, I just saw that. Awesome.
Yeah, so I just was like, whoop, whoop, whoop whoop, just to see, like, you know, just I got to like, I mean, of course we're connected via or WhatsApp check, but to like, you know, because I never met her in person, although we were just cool online, and so just to kind of like hear her story and she's awesome, like she I didn't realize that she really started her career as a comedian and she's doing way more stand
up and stuff now. So I think she's doing something at the Barclay Center and Carolines and stuff like that. But just to see her like evolution is just dope to see and just how chill and how cool and how funny as hex she was. And so just to you know, I just want to give a little shot. I didn't realize they all did. But either way, Hey, Wave's girl, Congratulations to you and to your whole cast,
because Insecure certainly deserves it. I love that you are collectively changing the conversation about you know what it is to be like Brown. You know that we have regular lives. It doesn't always have to be filled with strife and crime and this and that, you know what I mean. Like Insecure is just like regular life happening. You know.
I love it. I miss it. So I was just thinking how much I missed it the other day when I was watching looking for something to watch. I can't wait for it to come back. Love it. Yeah, And so Lena Waite from She's that One. She's the writer who wrote the episode and Master of None that won the what do they win? The Golden Globe for the episode about coming out to your family at Thanksgiving and they were nominated for NAACP Award two.
Yeah, Hey insecure, Hey insecure. Oh I feel good. I feel very well rested now because.
I know you did seem a little haggard the last episode.
I was so haggard. I mean, like, thank goodness, like you know, Patrice was just awesome. But like before that, like the last couple of weeks, I have been like I don't know my name, who am I? And I feel like this has been the first time in a few weeks, and I'm like, you know what I mean, there is a lot of work to do, but I don't feel like I am literally sinking and quick saying. I feel like, you know, it's gonna get done. I
can't wait. Because all day and while it was just me and the baby, and I had a choice between my two year old nephew or my seventy seven month old baby, and I wasn't sure which would you have chosen?
Uh? And uh two seven year old seven month old baby?
That's what I was thinking. I was like, ooh, because he's fun because we play, but then he never stops.
Yeah, the two year olds, they can run, they can pull things down, they can stick their fingers into sockets like they're a hazard.
And then but then the baby, you never know. She's a happy baby, but then you're like, ooh, but what is she ends up being fussy because then they never stop crying, and you're like, what do I do? Just yeah, so I just said, you know what, I'm gonna take my because at least there's definitely naps in the horizon with her. With him, he's like, I refuse to sleep. So yeah, so I'll you know, I'll give you guys a little update on that. You know how that went.
If I survived and we could talk about Thanksgiving? Oh yeah, happy Thanksgiving, everybody. You know this will be out right before enjoy and each of your heart's content.
Yes, ma'am, Happy Thanksgiving. Forget your diets, I know I have.
I can't even eat No, I can't even eat me. I'm afraid of what my stomach will do to me, but I certainly will smell it.
Turkey's worth it. Keep on with your veganism.
On that note, we've made it cookies for me.
Okay, have you Thanksgiving everybody? Go Check us out on Facebook, leave us a review on iTunes, Tell your husband, tell your wife, tell your friends about the show. Thank you for your support. Yes, you'll get your cookies.