In you know way. Hey, hey, you see me? Why we're back. We're black, We're blo blah blah blah blah.
Buh see this is why brawn ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition.
Yes, it's stressful. I don't know what to say.
There's every time the key is different lyrics and I'm not supposed to go on so I don't even know.
I'm just I'm finding my way, finding for my lane since twenty fifteen. Okay, so let's kick off the show. So we're gonna do a little bit of chat. I know.
The theme for this evening is what are we calling the Great Pivot? The Great Pivot, Great Pivot. I'm so afraid to move that I will be holding the book in this awkward physician. We're going to talk about professional pivots, career pivots, financial pivots. We're gonna get y'all a chance to answer someone, to ask some questions if you would
like to. And then we're going to get into our game show element of the night because I love it, and we're gonna find out how well Tiffany and I know each other, so.
We have a good memory. Anybody who knows me knows. She's already apologized. I know nothing about it, y'all, Like, oh my god, I'm like so nice to meet you, Like, I know you got so.
It's gonna be great. But I do want to say I mean to Tiffany, like, I mean, I haven't seen you. We were trying to figure out the last time I saw it. We saw each other in person, and it was before I had my second baby.
I know.
It was at my baby shower picnic thing, which is bizarre because obviously we talked to her every single week.
Yes we do.
But it's really special to be here with you to celebrate thanks for bringing it to Newer and the elephant in the room I guess is that this is not just our ninth year. It's also going to be Tiffany's last year.
With the show. But it's just without me. But Hi, Mandy's got a rock. I told her she's just fine.
Yeah, if I ever can unclench my hand from this mic, we'll do a show.
At this particular angle.
But yeah, I mean, I think our origin story is something that y'all know already. But yeah, over it was well over a decade ago we met each other, and for you to say yes to doing the podcast and for dedicating.
I mean, we didn't even make money for like five years, right, so I go a podcast. But Mandy asked me if I wanted to do a podcast. I was like, yeah, wait, what's a podcast? Because this thing.
Really yeah, there really wasn't and we just made it what it is today with y'all support. I mean from the very very beginning, it is so hard to build a podcast audience. It really truly is, and we really were starting from scratch. So just to even be here, I know, we have some fans from Georgia, my hometown, my home state, got some fan in the house, and but I think the winner has to be homegirl from Japan.
Yeah, talk about ocean.
But Tiffany bts army. Okay, let's get into it. So with Brown Ambition, it being nine years, we're also I don't know, going toward the end of the year. So, Tiffany, one of the things that in the themes of our show recently has been big changes obviously with you starting a new chapter post Brown Ambition, and I just feel like the way that you characterized it the great pivot. So I don't know, anytime you call something the great, it just feels right. But what does that mean? Inform us,
educate us, and then let's talk about it. Well, pivoting is a critical component of growth.
We all know, right, you know, think about like when you're in your twenties, maybe you decided this is what I'm going to get my degree in and then that's not what you're doing. Now. How many people is that the you know, the life for them or you know, maybe there's a pivot to have children, a pivot to partner, a pivot to unpartner. Some of you are like, that's next. They don't know yet, right, But pivoted is critical. But
ideally you want to pivot on purpose. You know that you want to be as much as you can some things life, you know, life throws us things, but you want to you know, you want to make the choice to pivot. And I called it. I like to call that pre pivoting versus waiting until your back's against the wall and then you kind of make unforced errors like a forced pivot.
Yeah, there's pivots in life that are not our choice, which are so like getting let go being the person who didn't know that you were going to get divorced.
Just other part of that.
Yeah, and they are the beginning of incredible stories. But there's so much empowerment and at least preparing, like for the pivot. So when you think about preparing for a career pivot with yourself, Tiffany, like, what are you actually doing? Are you telling people? Are you superstitious? Do you like keep it close to your chest when you got big plans or do you like to tell it? Some people feel like they can't share it because it hasn't happened yet,
and they're afraid if I say it out loud. Is anybody you say it out loud, it may not happen.
No, I mean anybody who knows me knows I'm a blah blah man. I'll be our live like and then oh wait, I signed an nda y uh rewind no because I am an out loud processor and I recognize that about myself. So the way I process change is to talk about it. So I have like a group of people. So I'll call Mandy, I'll call Rihanna, I'll call my sister, I'll call Cabre, I'll call so because I'm processing like my thoughts and my feelings out loud. Before then I kind of like suck them all in
and then make the decision. So for me, you don't know, I just feel like it's not even anything in particular when it comes to professionally that I'm wanting to do more. So the shift for me is to decenter budget, needs to and recenter Tiffany. I think that's the pivot where I am now because there are moments when you know it is career in business and you know there's nothing wrong with that, and then there are moments when you
can kind of get lost in it. And for the longest time, somebody would ask me how I was and I'd be like, oh, this is doing good and it's like how are you. I'm like who oh, Tiffany, or like what do you like to do in your free time? I'm like, what's free time? We don't know her, you know. And I mean, honestly, there are times, especially when you're in building stage, where that's what it looks like. But I've learned that you have to align and adjust, you know,
or you can get stuck in a place. That's why the pivot is so important to kind of take stock and say, Okay, where am I heading and does this path serve me, and if not, what pivot do I need to make?
And also it's like, and I believe if you had like a concrete on the day after, you know, January first, twenty twenty five, when I am no longer beholden to the podcast or Mandy like I'm going to start this, But you're also leaving space right for something new to come in.
It's like creating.
Sometimes you don't know what's going to come next, but creating the space for it makes it more possible than something can happen to you. Yes, imagine who you could run into on the street at one pm on Mondays when you're not recording our shit.
You mean, when I'm taking an ass everybody knows between one and three I'm likely to be laying.
Do you know what we're gonna pre tape? I got all kinds of plank of oh, I can't be put around too much. But no, I mean for me as the it feels a little bit y'all know. I don't know if you've listened to that episode where we talk about Tiffany leaving, but it was really really hard for me to sit there and have that and we held it for like two weeks, I was like, I'm not ready, and I think it just it feels extremely vulnerable just because we're so close and it and I truly don't
It is so mixed emotions. It is like deep sadness, a little bit of fear, a little bit of doubt. But on the other hand, it's like as time now, I've had two months to process it, and I think what I've come into is like.
This is also.
Maybe a forced pivot for me, but in an exciting way. It's like it just reinforced for me how brown ambition is something that I still like, believe in and care about so much, and I want to take it, you know, as far as it can possibly go. And this almost like shakes me up and makes me, you know, come up with a strategy, come up with a plan, start envisioning what it can look like when it's a little bit different, which is exciting. I think when you're in
a position like that, it's a gift. I get to decide what I'm doing with this podcast. I'm gonna own.
And the thing is, I don't think people realize that when you pivot, it's not just about you, because if I didn't, because you have the whisper like it's time to move on. I remember when I taught preschool for a number of years and I loved it, just like brown ambition that I kind of got the whisper it's time to move on. I was like, what, No, I love teaching the kids. I'm not leaving. And then the next year got harder. I'm like, wait, these kids never
acted up like this before. And then the next year you get a bier. You're like, what you know? And then you know? And then it then literally my school shut down, and I realized, like, oh, whether you move or not, it's gonna move you. And so you can listen or be forced. The thing that I really learned is that me making this choice, if I didn't make it, it's not just me that's affected. It's Mandy too, because I honestly believe I was holding her back things that
Mandy wants to do. Look at her, Let me take my flowers, Let me take my flowers back. Right, So there's some things that Mandy wants to do that I don't have the time, you know, So me making the choice that I know is the right choice to make, you know, it's not just my prayers it's likely Mandy, you now too. Yeah, so it's just learning that like
pivoting doesn't hurt. I mean, I get it. Sometimes it feels hurtful, you know, but you hope that you have a good enough relationship with the people in your life that you know you said the best thing I Mandy and I talked. I was scared to tell her. Not scared because I thought she was gonna be mad, because I just thought, like, oh man, it's been nine years, this is my friend. I don't want her to to be like, I don't know, I just was. I didn't want you to feel like I was leaving you. Oh I did.
I know, you know, I can't like sometimes the decisions you make like they're gonna make another person feel uncomfortable, And I think that's like, that's just what it is. Like I've told so many people like that I've mentored or mentored without there even asking me. Just like you're gonna have to piss people off on your way to whatever you're gonna be.
Not that I'm.
Pissed, but like you're gonna Yeah, it's gonna create complicated feelings for me to figure out. But I'm so glad that you trusted me to have them, and like the worst thing ever would be to find out that you were staying, because oh, I don't want Mandy to be like outraged and you know, what is she gonna do and like, well she seek revenge or whatever. Like we have so much trust and honestly, I think I'll see more of you now.
Like I said, I'm excited for the next chapter. Like I told Mandy, I said, I stayed a brad a bitch and forth long because I did for her and I left for me. I'm trying to receive that. It's really hard. Yeah, I did.
No.
I stayed because I was like, this is my friend. I'm having so much fun and you know, I'm knowing this is what she's wanting. But you know, and especially after my husband passed away, I didn't want to do anything. This is one of the few things I came back to. And if Mandy wasn't doing the brand A mission, I wouldn't have done it, y'all. It wouldn't have been no goodbye episode, just click click click, you're on your own. But I was like, I'm coming back because Mandy's here.
She was such a good friend during that time and I realized I can't continue to stay just for Mandy and that if I'm here because Mandy's my friend, she's my friend either way, you know what I mean. And that's what you said. Like when I told you you were like, first of all, I felt so bad because you were like with your son blowing up balloons at a birthday party. I was like, I am visit. I hear, hey you, what's up? I'm like, and then my son said, are you okay?
Mommy?
I was like, oh my god, I said, I feel like this is not a good time. I mean, I've never been broken up with that's so bad. And you like, I'll talk to you later, but then you feel My body language was like, I know, but you text me the text she said. You know, Tippy, you know I love you. I want what's best for you. And if this is I'm what did you say? You said? I almost I'm sad, but that's okay, you know, like you're allowed to be sad, you know. And I told her, honestly,
I'm sad too. Yeah. Can we change as something? Yes? Because we're here now, right, let's talk about all the pivots. Still got her? Got her okay?
So I want well, I have. I don't know about pivoting, but I want to. I want to ask you something as a business owner, because I have known you since before you is there even probably was a business There was a blog, you know, and you interviewed I interviewed you and yes, business insider.
Yeah, put her on the mat she did. She was literally my first professional dress, first professional interview. Oh that's wild.
But anyway, and you've been through so much any chapters as a business owner, and now you're pulling back. So I kind of want you to paint a picture of how your business has changed. And you had several right, you had Live Richer Academy, you have obviously the budget Nista was there. A third one was a market the marketing thing I am, But what does that look like for you now? And what do you want? What I love about our show is how transparent we are about
the real reel of what's happening. What do you want to say to like younger entrepreneurs or just entrepreneurs who are starting businesses or have had them for a while, about like the realness of making those kinds of shifts and how maybe it's not so it's not all like magical and taking naps between.
Before because I'm up till three, so I need to take a nap bath three. Yeah, well I'll say. And there was a woman here, Oh, what's your name? Is the Burgundy? Diane? No? No, So Diana and I were chatting because I was sharing that like, well, one, I don't care who you are. In business, it's never easy. Like anyone who's pretending like it's easy is lying because the way it goes, and it took me a while to realize, is then you reach a certain level and then you
feel a little bit stuck and you're not growing. And what you realize is that you have to almost become Like what happens when a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. One of my friends Bozma, she was like, do you know what actually happens when a caterpillar goes inside the crysalist? And I'm like, I don't know. It grows wings. I know a lot about butterflies actually, and it actually liquifies, yes, itself.
It liquifies itself and basically almost eats itself down to about thirty percent and from that the butterfly is born. And so what I realize is that. Let's just say, if we're just talking straight money, that to go from five figures to six figures in business annually, I had to liquefy myself and almost it feels like dying because you're like, I'm feeling at everything, but you're not. You've just reached as far as those wings can take you. And then you have to be born into the sixth
figure person. And so that shift is just mindset right. So to me, five figures of six figures, it's mindset of like I can do it, and sometimes it's just knowing someone else as making six figures. There was a man who the first man who ran the eight minute mile, Like nobody had ran a mile under eight minutes, and it was like this farmer who were like rubber boots who ran the first eight minute mile, and once he did, after that, people started breaking that record like crazy, because
people just have to know it's possible. And then to go from six figures to seven figures six figures, to me was the hardest because that mindset shift was like I didn't know anybody who was like I was living in a room that costs five hundred bucks a month, and they're like, I just came home, some of y'all went over that. Well, we adure, so you know what I'm talking about, right, So, but six figures is seven figures. The shift Diana and I were talking about that, the
rebirth there was. I remember I was at six figures for a while. I'm like, I did the math. I said, seven figures is about like eighty something thousand dollars a month. That seems impossible, and I realized you can muscle your way to six figures, meaning that you can work really hard, wake up late, you know, or wake up early, go to bed late. But seven figures requires help. So typically to get the seven figures, you're gonna have some sort of team. And it took me a while to learn that.
So I had to be reborn again as to somebody who had a team. And I'd never really done that before. I mean, I taught preschool and certainly I had like co teachers and stuff, but I never led anyone in a team, so that was really hard. I started with interns and then I started with like part time people, and I had to learn to lead. And once I got better at it, then we got to seven and then from seven to eight, you know, it was like,
it's it. That was hard too, not as hard because you collect all these lessons along the way, and seven to eight the rebirth there was. I had to learn to scale in a way where like I had to trust people because I was still was very hands on. I had to try people to do like to do what they did best, you know, like, hey, you know she's the CFO, she knows best. This person is going
to like run my online school. They know best, and kind of like hands off because I can't possibly do everything to get to eight figures a year, and so really like hiring not just a team but the best that you can find and allowing them to do out of the work and getting out of the way. So that was that eight figure and even now I have opportunities where if all of them come through, it would take me gross meaning I'm sixteen years in business. It would take me to a nine figure business gross not
not annually, or I will not be here. I'm now struggling with that because I am holding on to my eight figure wings, thinking like if I've flapped them hard enough, I could And it's like no, girl, you have to die and be reborn because that takes outside I don't want to say outside investing and investment, but it doesn't always have to be outside investment, like in the monetary sense,
but it's gonna take outside people. And I'm used to doing everything myself, like everything, you know, my team is here. We're self funded. You know, we've never taken money. You know, we farm ourselves. All the fruit we eat, we build, you know. But to get to one hundred million dollars, you can't do that, you know. And I'm really struggling, you know, with that. And it's I'm right at the cusp of like it's time to build a crystalist and I'm fighting it, like maybe I could do it this
way and it's just like narrow. But so I share that to say that no matter where you are on business, there's always going to be kind of like this being reborn, dying being reborn, so meaning like you're gonna hit the hard walls over and over, not because you're doing something wrong, but because you're growing. In order to grow, you have
to have growing pains. That's what it looks like if everything is really easy, and for the last three years it's been smooth sailing, and you know, year after year it's the same. Well, then you're in the same place, like, of course you're getting a A. You're in high school and you're still taking like, you know, second grade math, Well you had better get a A, you know what I mean. So it's like you're not really challenging yourself to the
next level. And so I just want to say that business is meant to be hard, and it doesn't get easier, you just get better. That sounds painful, but it's still fun. Though I would become liquefied.
I do feel like this year has been a year of liquefication for me in a lot of ways. I mean, I started my business. I mean I was nine to five for a long time. How many of y'all are guys? How many of y'all are nine to five? Maybe you have a nine to five only, no shame, ninety.
Five girls these years? Nine to five plus a side hustle, Right, that's the new right? What about who's just straight entrepreneur? Straight? Okay? Okay? What's that straight entrepreneur? All right? I mean entrepreneur? Yeah?
And I think for me, because I was, I wasn't. I did not gracefully exit from nine to five life. I would say it decided it was done with me. I'll just putting it there because legal reasons. And for me, it was like, Okay, I can't see my I can't see myself right now trusting anyone. So I'm just gonna trust myself and you know, start this business and then it has become you know, my my Mandy money Maker's business. The career coaching practice and getting to pour in and be poured into by women.
Of color every day, every week has just been incredible.
But I'm trying to make space for like, I don't know if it's a monetary goal, I'm not. I'm not so I know someone mentioned I think it was Charmain Rachel Rogers, who's such a baddie and like, you know, it's like a what did you call her, like a it's not a snake that would be bad, like a bull or like she was just like really intense, you know,
and she like sets these goals. And I listened to her podcasts and I you know, it's it's about what you were talking about, like getting like making those rich you know, decisions and making decisions that are bold and they're going to get to the next level. But I'm kind of like in this space where I'm okay right now with like the level, and like I just want to sit in this level for a bit and I'm struggling.
I mean, I'm not struggling, but I'm recognizing that like sometimes the more for more for more as a business owner, and it's what you feel like you should be reaching for.
But I'm just trying to.
Be okay with where I'm at now and like just sitting in it and learning from this space, not liquefying just I mean, eventually I hope I can liquefy and.
Enjoy your wings. I think sometimes you don't, Like that's great joy enjoy your wings in a moment, you know, just enjoy being out here.
Yes, And now with the podcast, like I feel like with Brown Ambition, for me, it's always been bigger than a podcast. It's really always been a conversation about, you know, the special kind of ambition that you need as a person of color in this world when there's so many obstacles and yet we strive, and yet we go, we show up, you know, we fly from Japan just for him.
But it's also a question to me, like ambition, you know, it's it's a question of what is enough and how much of how much of the success, and how much of the the accolades, the money, the whatever, the cars, whatever you want to get, whatever you see for yourself.
How much of that is actually something that we genuinely want to need, and.
How much of it is something we feel like we must strive for because it just is such a part of our story to be striving and reaching. And at what point does that become almost like across to bear and almost something that can hold you back. It's always striving. It's very existential. I get that, but I'm I'm working through it because I also have like two little boys, And to be honest, right now, I'm like mostly mom. Most of the time. I'm Mandy money for like three hours a day.
School days are short. It felt long when we were kids, but they're actually very short. I'm not able to get much done.
And yeah, it's sometimes it's just the you know, I'm not running around and traveling and building building building, I'm just being being being while these little you know, nuggets are small and cannot.
Be Okay, of course, yeah, not all time is created equal, not all yours. When your babies are babies, like you don't ever get that back, you know. So if you've got children, now you get a chance to lean in and be present with them because you don't ever get to redo that, you know, And like, to me, enough is ambitious, especially in the world we live in now, you know, it's it's ambitious to say I'm actually okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use these wings for a while.
Did I ever tell you that I tried to come up with the book idea that was like the power of mediocrity And I'm just saying it out loud. I'm like, want no one wants to buy that book. But isn't that kind of like it's sometimes it's okay to like it's just good enough.
I'm good, yeah good, this is mind good. And you know what, there's I think that we tie everything to like financial that there has to be a reaction financially. There are people who like play the piano, like, is Cabrel in here? You go home?
Right?
So my friend Cabrell like took his plate with the foil. I saw that. I was like, now you're taking your four plate and going home. So Cabrel is an amazing singer. Ask Cabro where he sits. He should have opened up for us. Where does he sing nowhere? And I remember I didn't get it. I was like, I don't get it. He he has a coach, he's been he's had a
coach for over ten years. He's has beautiful voice. I mean, it's just if you're in the car with him, you're gonna hear him sing Luther, You're gonna and that's about it. And it confused me so because it was like, what's the point. The point is just mastery for mastery's sake. He's like, I love to sing, and so I want to be the best at it that I can be, not because I'm necessarily going to be on stage somewhere.
And I just thought, you know, it's okay to just be like, I'm I enjoy a thing so much, I want to be good at it, not because I'm displaying myself to the world or because I'm exchanging it for money. Yeah, can we talk.
Well, that just the image that when you talked about Cabrel singing just for himself. Sometimes that inner work, like the work of just cultivating your own talent or cultivating a scale that you care about can be lonely. But I want to talk to you about that. On your journey through entrepreneurship, how have you dealt with those times where you can feel isolated because even though you have a team, now I know it's gone smaller. Do you
struggle with it's all on my shoulders? You know, at the end of the day, it's my name on the virtual building kind of vibe.
Yeah, I think so. I think anybody in leadership feels like that because at the end of the day, if something goes wrong, no one says, oh, it was your project manager. They're like, it was you. Let me tell you there are people not lucky. I'm so nice because sometimes I remember a woman wrote me, so she bought my book You Go with Money. She brought it from Amazon. It was printed upside down, which okay, Like, girl, do
you think I'm book pressing at home? Wint The cover was up side No, No, like the inside, you know, like these things happen, So I'm assuming whatever at the printing press. So she wrote me, She's like, really upset I borrow your book. I got it from Amazon. It's printed upside down. She's slid in my dms on ig and there's two Tiffany's. There's the Tiffany that was like, okay, girl, like you bought it from Amazon. First of all, let
me tell you something about Amazon. They're gonna give your coins back quick fast, in a hurry, So what you asking me for? But then the other Tiffany was like, oh my gosh, that's so crazy girl. You want me to send you another book? And I did, cause what's you know, twenty dollars? And then I think she realized how silly it sounded. She's like, I'm surprised you even mentioned me. Girl. Back she was like, Tiffany, I'm gonna go ahead on and send it to Amazon. Like the
comment sense that God gave me. But that is sometimes like people think that I'm like the magic wand Waiver, even on the team, Like there's some of my team members in here now. Sometimes they come to me and I'm like, how would I know? I don't know, and I don't I don't. Like it's almost like you know, who's a parent in here? You know now that you have children, don't you realize how much your parents knew nothing? Because you'll be making it up your kids.
Come to you. You're like.
On Wednesday. You know, like, yeah, you can have cereal, I guess is it okay? But the plan cera you know, and it's the same. And the thing is that with years, you collect knowledge and wisdom about your business and then you make your best guess. That's what you do with parenting too. Like if your kid is ten, they've never been ten before, you make your best guess. Even if you have multiple kids, this kid has never been ten before, you know, because you know that first child is not
like that second child. I'm the second have you now, I'm not shout out to you, izy, that's our bill, that second child energy. We're gonna put give you a roll for your money. You might stat after that second job. I'm like, tell me about my second child. He's so small. What's he gonna do to me? He's gonna put your through all right? Well, I want to open the floor for Brown, Bruce Brown break or b a q and a. So my thoughts. Since y'all are here, anyone want to
ask a question live? It's time for the b a.
Q a A b a q A What you said b a q air mandad b a q a with tipping a to b a q a a.
That was a good idea. Okay, I'm shock by anyway, Hey guys, I love you guys. My name is Betty. I'm an inspectitioner. I practice aesthetics. Those questions for you, Mandy. As a mom of multiple children, I have to on my own my three children myself boys girls. My oldest is a girl, and my two youngest boys. Yeah. Seven, they kind of want a third, should I? Or like, huh would you? Should I have another? How are you feeling you're here? Do you want your very true? Mm hmm. Okay,
so from one to young child is not listening? No, that's fine.
No.
One to two was an easy transition for me. Three was hard to sell. Yeah, three was hard. I was like, damn, we're not doing this so much. And I mean I think part of the reason was because I had help with the first two and then with the third one not so much. It was right after COVID. So yeah, but that's but that doesn't mean anything. You know, maybe three will work, you're fucking hero. But yeah. So my question was, you know, I'm an entrepreneur myself. Well i'm
you know, kind of transitioning into that role. How do you balance being a mom of multiple children and still being present, you know, with your children and your family without getting the mom guilt, Like how do you kind of balance that?
Also, my problem is I don't have mom guilt. I have business guilt because I spend so much time with my sharing. It's almost like because I I know that it's you know, I think it's kind of like cool and trendy to be like this is the worst.
Being a parent is so hard, and.
It really is, but it's real also really fun to just like get on the floor and color. I really like crafts, I like going to the library. So I find it really simple to ignore my work and spend time with the kids, which is a problem because childcare is expensive. Mama needs to actually work. So for me, it's like every day is different and I don't I mean, I'll just tell you the real world, like every day
is different. I don't have a perfect routine. I try to focus on one thing that I can do business wise every day because my to do list is never going to get to done in one day. I and if I and I and my makers know because I've been trying to set my intentions and are in our slack every week and kind of say what I intend this week, and if I overload it, it's not going to get done. I'm going to get a call from
daycare about someone being sick. I'm going to get a call you know that you forgot his lunch, you know, bring it to the school. Whatever, it's going to disrupt my day. Where I am trying to get a lot better is in trusting my partner to show up for me when I can't be there as like super mom and trust that he can do as good.
Of a job. It's quite hard. I'm like a Microman momager.
I just think I do it the best, you know, like and I entertain I'm like a cruise director.
Yeah, I really am. You gotta keep this. It's a lot.
It's a lot of like if you don't want to give him the phone. If you give him the phone, it's like a little bit easier. But I don't do that because I don't like joy or time alone. Okay, so that may be like the worst way to answer your question. What I'll I'll I say is like I have I mean, I have Tiffany and I love her to my sister. I haven't I have like relatives they
live in different states. I have friends that are across the country, but my neighbors across the street are essential to me and they are the unsung heroes of my this journey of my life as an entrepreneur, because I can leave out my front door and I'll run into someone who can hold a baby or run to the store for me or babysit last minute. And building those relationships has been such a life saver, especially during a time with the pandemic where it was really easy to be isolated.
I reached out.
I pushed through to reach out and like foremost connections and my local little community is just a freaking life saver.
So having ye creating your own.
Damn village and like and actually like agreeing that will be like I've had a conversation with a mom, like if I if you live near me, I'd be like, I'm your village. We have to help each other and like have that like looking each other's eyes and be like no, no, I mean it, Like I don't mean go get a drink and be cute. I mean like come over watch while I fold laundry, and like, you know, can you watch baby? Why I full laundry? Or like do a dish or write for my book or something
like that. Having that community is really essential.
Our community is here. Shout out to Sunday Supper folks. I have a community. We call ourselves a Sunday Supper Crew, and we started some years ago, or at least once a month, we just tried to have Sunday Supper together all of the neighborhood, my sisters, my neighbors, and so yeah, that's exactly no.
I can't even get Anna to come. Anna doesn't want to come to Sunday Supper. She wants to do it once a month with my cousin that I can do once a month, and it can't be the same Sunday. I was like, complease, No, that's really great though, thank you for thank.
You, thank you.
Who's neck? Who's that?
Should?
Come on up ahead? Sorry, orange sweater? Yes, a cute A yay b A cute A transition. Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
I have a question that's like a two part question, and I do kind of Okay, let me get it out. So i've paid off my student loans, I currently haven't. Yes, I do currently have an eighteen month old though, so she'll be eighteen months next week. So Mama and Papa are like taking care of a baby. So we're now like in a good place, in a decent place financially because we do pay for childcare, which is very expensive.
So my first question is do you think it is worth having a five O three B for a child? Like I'm sort of torn because there is someone that is like, oh, you have to start now, you have to start at eighteen months. But when I'm looking at the actual risk to benefit ratio, I'm like, well, what if she doesn't want to go to college and what if we don't have it?
Yes?
Yes, yes, I'm sorry.
I was like, what is this. I don't know what this is. I'm gonna have to google it. No, yes, And I'm like.
Sure we're lying, yes, yes, three if there was a podcast, you don't see us googling.
I mixed them up? Oh my god, sorry fire not Okay, Yes, I'm smart, got it.
But so there is one woman that is like, you know, you got to start now. She's eighteen months, like by the time she paid off her son went to grad school for free, Like she's paid both of her son's college tuition, Like okay, great, but now I'm like, well, you know, I don't know if I'm one hundred percent sure if that's the right direction to go in, and then we I've also been wondering, like, now that we're in a decent place financially, what's the next step to be, Like, uh,
you know, okay, do I start investing here? Or like, okay, do I just buy a house now? And like start because you know, it's just a lot of decisions to make it this direction.
So I'm like, I don't know what to do.
I think this is like where Tiffany says, just enjoy your wings a little bit, just be debt free for that, just like enjoy the extra money. When I was a reporter, I was a personal finance reporter for many years, and whenever we would talk about this question, the financial advisors that I would speak to would typically say something like, your kids can take out student debt, but you can't take out retirement loans, you know, other than from yourself.
And it was almost like the financial version of put your own oxygen mask on first. So if there are long term goals that you have, I wouldn't I wouldn't necessarily feel like any kind of guilt or shame for not setting aside like college shavings for them now. But it really depends on what your priorities are as as far as like the actual account the five two nine plan, I mean there are benefits because you're they're tax benefits, right, so you get to use that money.
It can grow tax free. But they have to use it for college. Oh okay, fact check, because it used to be it was just for college, but now it's like school, so you can actually do five twenty nine and in my paper daycare five twenty nine and at my paper highschool because if they go to private high school, it's like K through twelve now, right, yes, So because there are fine so when you put money in a five twenty nine, it does help to lower taxes. So
there are tax benefits. But to your point, for example, for my bonus child, she's in school now, and I didn't want to do a five twenty nine because it didn't have those benefits then, because I just I don't know, you don't know what these kids are going to do. So it's said I did a custodial account, you know, so I didn't get the tax benefits, but I set aside money my husband I had set aside money for her in an account, and now she's off at school.
I mean, you know, now, knowing that she's in school and she says she wants to get her masters, I'm like, I should have done, but how can you know? You know? But but to your to I think why my drink cats?
Right?
So that to the point now you know, like it's not you're not as limited, you know, so I would mean I'm not anti five twenty nine for that reason anymore.
I have one for my first because they get everything the best. And Remy does not have a vibe, hasn't been baptized yet.
No, that baby is out here in the world. Tbody is so cute, this little.
Us.
Yeah, but and I have but I also have a custodial account, and I think either option is is perfectly fine. But you mentioned the house and your other priorities, and I just think that, I mean, I wouldn't be rushing to become a homeowner having done it. M it's so much money, so much.
Do you have a business. You're a nurse, right or no, that was you're a nurse? Sorry what did you say? No, I'm only asking because, for example, for Alyssa, my stepdaughter. I actually I have to do it now before the end of the year. I'm going to she does social media, why she feels like it, but I pay her enough so she can nax out her raw fire it. So yes, So that's another way if you had a business. So I pay her for the year at the end of the year. So this year, the max is seven thousand dollars.
And so even though every year it happens, I'm gonna call her and be like, Melissa, you're gonna magically have seven thousand dollars year account, money you did not work for. When it lands, don't touch it because I have a financial advisor that will pull it and put it into her wrath. Last year she touched it, I said, girl, where's five hundred dollars? Is that what that was? Why don't you have sixty five hundred dollars? What do you
do for a living? And then the year before that it was six thousand, same she took three hundred dollars out and I was like, what she's like, I was wondering. I'm like, so even though I was like, her birthday just passed, I said, look at me in the eyes we're not gonna do this again. This is year three. There's going to be seven thousand dollars deposited. It takes
about twenty four hours before it pulls out. But that's another way if you for those of you who have children and so we're in your three or four doing for her, which is great because if I continue to do this or she maxes it out by the time she's thirty, you know, she will be really really well off. You know. So I do believe in like because you don't have to do as much if you start sooner. Fifty dollars here, fifty dollars there, when your baby is
a baby can make a big difference. Absolutely. That custodial iray I started for real five years.
Ago is looking very cute. Yes, I'm like, let me put that out of my sight. But thank you so much for your ques.
Thank you.
If you do one more. Yes, we have one in the bag. I think I saw the one on the aisle. Yes, with denim and the braids. Gorgeous. Oh yes, we love We love a sister a lot. We're just saying it's incredible what our hair can do. I know, dude. Sorry, it's time. Forday Okay, I didn't come from Japan, but it was a two and a half drive from Brooklyn. Brooklyn. It's rush hours. That's like two bridges. That's a lot. Okay. So my name is Sonya. I'm an entrepreneur. So my
question is for Tiffany and for a Mandy. I am in a space now where my business has grown. I left my nine to five It almost felt like seven to nine. But I left that job in twenty twenty one and went full time with my side hustle. I'm a therapist, and so I have decided, oh, we're going into your five. Let's let's hire people so we don't have to do all of the work. And I'm like, this scaling is it's not easy, So how how do you? I'm like, how do I get to a place where
I'm not allowing the growing pains to overwhelm me? Because I feel like I'm starting to get overwhelmed with figuring out how to grow the business simultaneously while I'm still doing my own work and then not freak out because I'm like, oh my god, I got to pay people, so I need to make sure that they have work. And so I find myself staying up till three am being like, how can I find more clients for them to be able to work with? How can I find
more things for them to be able to do? So it makes sense and not feel like maybe he wasn't ready to scale. But I'm like, I'm going into year five. I felt like I was in that space where I'm like, Okay, we're doing second grade again, and that's why you're getting an A. It is time to grow. But I'm like, it's only been a month.
So they've like come to your practice to work underneath your brand as therapist.
Yeah, okay, I mean they should bring their own clients, right. I was about to say, I'm gonna tell you elegant eyes, they've been my friend Cabrel, his grandparents started sixty years old and so they've been here through the New York Riots. Then it passed on to his mother, then him and his sister. And when I to me, when I look for mentorship, I don't care as much as how much money you make, but how long have you been in business?
Because you don't seen it all. Because i'll ask a bro something, he'll be like, well, in nine to five we had that issue. I'm like, do tell, And so I asked a bro, that's Higin and what you said, Mandy? He was like, if you bring someone on, make it very clear that you Not every position does this, but
it sounds like your therapist. You have to bring me ideally four times what I pay you, at least, because not just like, oh, let's just say you pay them twenty thousand dollars a year, not you make me twenty because I have to pay taxes, I have to do savings. It's like, no, no, ideally four times more. I didn't know I can make that ask of my like the people who work for me and so, but because too, like you can, I incentivize them by also setting aside like a bonus pool.
You know.
So what I do for my company now is that like, so, I get a salary. Everybody gets a salary, and everybody was asking for races. I said, where, show me where the money is? Show me show me it's not here. Twenty twenty three is a hard year. So what I did instead, I said, I'll let you get paid. How I get paid. I get a base salary, a regular salary, just like everybody else. It's not even the highest. But what I do get is that when there's extra money
every month, I can take an owner's draw. So after I set us side money for taxes, for savings, for all these other things, sometimes there's money left over. Sometimes there's zero, sometimes there's negative. But I can pull a draw, and I'll let you get a draw. To that draw that I pull, I'll put twenty percent in a bonus pool for you, and then every quarter anybody who's a
full time employee can split that pool. Because what it does is that it won It means that I never pay out more than what we've made because bonus is always extra. But it also incentivized them to make money. You know, there are some positions that don't like. Maybe your admin doesn't necessarily generate income, but especially when you're hiring hiring generating income generating people, I don't hay around it. Hey, maybe that's my niece of my nephew late. Yah, Mama
brought ya late, share brought y'all late. Don't be like mind, I'm just talking.
All right.
There was act like they don't know me. That was hard when I speak up from pigh school. I used to be like, why are you like we don't know me? The teacher I think I steal every week. Well I don't know, but yeah, so that's the ways is, especially if it's a therapist. I mean, ask anyone who owns like a salon, like the stylist has to bring clients. You know, that's not a big that's not an you can't do all the work. You know, it's not fair.
State farm agents, you know, like insurance, like you're under the umbrella. But you're like an entrepreneur. You're and they call them small business owners. You own your own business. I mean my therapist, she has a practice and there are other therapists that work under her and it and they could look at it like, well, I'm why why
join your practice when I have my own clients. But they also can keep growing, they can bring in more clientele and say, well, if you want to join us, like, there are other people in my practice, so then you're not overwhelmed with like too many clients. But I think
that's the key. And I was just going to say, you need a community of other mental health practitioners who are doing something similar, who have grown a business, who are like a few steps ahead of you, who know what you're going through and can like be there alongside you.
I just don't want you to be doing it by yourself. That's hard, too hard. M hm. That's what we do, what we know, because you can't be marketing for like no no, no, no, no, no no no. And sometimes I mean, I hate to say it, but sometimes it's overwhelming because it's overwhelming. I mean, for any of y'all who have pushed out a human being, it's like, ain't that a lot? It's like sometimes I mean for some people they're like,
you know, you've sneeze and the baby came out. But for most people it's like, oh, it's hard because it's hard. I don't know. We live in this weird space where we think hard means wrong, and sometimes it's hard. It shouldn't be feeling this stressed. I mean it's not ideal, you know, and so to feel stressed. But it's like learning to like that this thing is hard because it's hard,
so it shouldn't stress you out. This is the natural order of things, is what I'm saying that, like, oh, I'm growing, you know, like I don't know how to color right away, I don't know how to ride my bike right away. That's just what it looks like. It's hard because it's hard. It's meant to be hard because the truth is you have to make yourself worthy of the dream that you seek. You know it's not for everybody because if it was easy. Let's just say you
were gifted. You're at door one, and you're gifted a pass to get to door ten. Right, you didn't have to go to two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine. I promise you when you get to ten, you'll realize that the key to ten was at seven. So now you gotta go back to seven. But you didn't realize that the key at seven is inside a box that was at door three. Now you gotta go back to three. And then the box took the puzzled code to the
box was at door too. Now you shot just go through all the doors because by the time you realize so there is no skipping the line, you're going to have to pay your dues. It's just the It's doctor Green, my therapist talks about that we're not here for stress stress stress management because stress is it's like cancer management, like we're not who wants that. It's really learning internally
how to manage how you feel about the things. This is a natural reaction to what's happening, Like, oh, this feels like a lot because it's a lot, but it doesn't mean it has to make you feel so bad. Does that make sense?
No, my therapist this week, we're really candid about our therapy. I'm starting with a new therapist. And he literally was like, I told him what I am. I told him I had to break up with my other one.
No tomorrow, tomorrow, that's hard.
Oh, we need to ask you, but I.
But she's so great, she'll understand, you know, I I've outgrown, I'm on a different path.
She does young mothers.
So anyway, but I was telling you in this really difficult, complex family issue, and he looked at me and he was like, that sounds like you're having an appropriate reaction. I thought that's extremely complex, and I was like even just accepting, Oh, this is the only way to feel about it because it's really effed up and there's no
great solution and like there's no right or wrong. It's just like withithstanding that feeling is something that like I understand why we turn to like our our you know, these unhealthy ways of coping with stress, because it's just so can be so uncomfortable, but almost sitting in that discomfort is it's like a muscle that you have to practice. And my therapist, this new one especially, is reminding me that you can withstand this. You can it will, it
will pass, it will get through. And you know, I like to use this analogy all the time, like there's a version of myself a year from now who's done this hard thing and has gotten through it. And I'm like, that girl's got she figured it out, so I'll figure it out. It's a great little mind.
It is. Well you would you would know therapists. Yeah, you're congratulations on your business. Thank you by e you a what you said that by thank y'all so much. Just says a dream come true.