Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown and a bishous ambitious ambition, ambition, ambition, Hey, mandra, just a little glow, a little glow ooh sorry if we're talking about we're glow.
There is this, you know, like everybody's now into Korean beauty and I told myself I was not gonna jump on, but there's this bomb like this.
Oh, I should have brought with me this. I saw it on social.
And like, I think a lot of people don't realize that if you've got oily skin, oftentimes it looks oil because actually you have dry skin and that's so it's actually not oily. And so sometimes in my t zone, especially during the summertime, because I walk so much, that my skin will.
Dry out and it will kind of look oily.
And I didn't notice how bad it looked until if you ever get your lashes done, in your brain, I was done, and you're under that fluorescent light and they give you the mirror to see and you see your skin.
Your skin's like I wish they wouldn't, Like, I don't want to see my skin after a facial. I don't want to see anything. I feel bad for them.
Girl, but I've been using this bomb. I'm going to find the like the name of it. It's like, I don't know.
It's a Korean beauty. It like little and.
Look like basically it's like a face chapstick. And so every night I put it like, you know, like T zone girl.
I just got my arm.
I was done, obviously, and when they brought me the mirror, I said, yes, the.
Skin was skinning. I said, thank you Korea getting this blacker together.
Aw. But yeah, so I was in Cali for a week and a long ago. Yes, it yes, And it was that if you guys have been listening, you know, I bought a ticket to a conference that I had no business being at. It was not for me, but I got really excited because I heard the founder speaking and I was like, I'm gonna do this. And it was like almost three thousand dollars. Okay, it was less than my mortgage, but more than my daycare bill each month.
And then it's all the way in California, right, and anyway, the date was getting closer and closer, and I'm like, what am I going to do? There's no refunds. So I decided I think it was my publisher Krashawn. She said, why don't you turn it into a writing retreat, And that's exactly what I did. So on the way to LA I dropped the boys off in Saint Louis with
my mama and said bye. And they were there for all week, like seven days, and I went on to Beverly Hills, Beverly either that or troop Beverly Hills through We've seen that trip Beverly Hills. Oh is that like a Okay? That's this is when the millennial and Gen XX separates us. Oh my god, I got to put you on Shelley Long Rest in peace. Okay, but I got so lucky. When I tell you, I gave you a tour the Airbnb, Tiffany, I would not shut up about this Airbnb. I was probably annoying everybody, Like I
went to the conference one day and like, you know, uh, canodled? No, that's what did I do? Schmoozed just like metal with a boob, but okay, yeah, yah yah, not no canoodling, new canodling, just schmoozing. And the next day I went back and everybody was like, how's the Airbnb? And I was like, damn, I must have been.
Talking about.
The whole time. I was like, Okay, I'll find something else to beat my personality today. State farm agents are small business owners too, so they know how to help you choose personalized policies that fit your needs, like a good neighbor. State farm is there. Talk to your local agent today. Oh my god. So there's this host in Beverly Hills. So she never rents out her guesthouse. Like back in the pool in the pool area, there's a guest house. And I mean it's basically a little retreat.
It's just a one bedroom, but I had a bathroom, had everything you needed in the doors. The French doors opened directly onto the stunning pool. And she had the most incredible landscaping for a small yard, just like palm trees and banana leaves and complete like twenty foot hedges and a jacuzzi and it was all mine. And she told me, she was like, maybe I never rent this out. She unfortunately had some health issues and during the pandemic
had to close her business down. So now this is like a little way for her to bring in extra money. But she was super scared about it because she lives by herself and she's in her sixties. Anyway, it just so happened that the one day her son was there when he was like, Mom, you have a request, and she was like, I know, I have been ignoring it. And he was like, just she looks nice, go ahead, like say yes, and we are pals.
Now of course you are.
Yeah, And it was just so special. Oh my god, it was so special. I think I'd discover the hack of all life hacks for any families, like forget the family vacation, just like forget it, pack up the car, take the kids places. No, stop it, No, you're doing it wrong. This is the thing. You book your own vacation.
Then you go somewhere by yourself, moms, and then the kids you send them together somewhere else like Grandma's house or whoever, whatever seems suitable and trustworthy, and then your husband gets to stay home and do whatever he wants. What you know, what you know is like get I came home to two brand new Sono speakers. But you know what I mean, I don't want to talk about it. It was worth it, because I swear I was so happy just being alone with all of my brain. I
fell in love with myself again. I didn't know I was a I didn't know you could do that in your thirties, like after two kids. I mean, I like myself, but I fell in love with me again. I was like I was telling you to when we were talking, just I felt exactly how I felt when I was twenty two, traveling being like, you know, different different countries and meeting new people and it was so much fun. And I just remembered how great I am.
Yes, I like that fun because you are cute. Chatting with you, I was like, look at Mannie. First of all, that place was gorgeous because you don't have to FaceTime. Yeah, the pool was amazing. Mandy looks so happy, and yeah, we just were just a key a key ing, okay king Yes, And honestly, I'm gonna be like girl the next time I go to Cali.
You know, I'm like with your friend because.
I know, I was like, Terry, you don't understand. I kind of have a podcast and like sometimes when I say stuff, more than one person hears it. So if I talk about this, she said, I can send anyone who I think is wonderful. Oh, she would love you. She would love to have more black girls at her at her at her Airbnb. I know she would.
Oh she was so.
She was one of those white ladies that you just you know, I just maybe it's because my mom is white, but I just I just loved her. Even though she said problematic things. I just forgave her and I moved on. And I was like, you know what, like, she's doing what she She's doing what she's doing. It's not my job to make her do anything different. Nothing. I was not in danger. I love to be tokenized when you have that exquisite of a backyard.
And Loki HAIKEI, I mean my daddy saying plopactic.
I'm like, that's not daddy.
I'm again, I'm going to talk about some racist immigrants like oh my gosh, minority is talking about other minorities.
I will say this though, he has come a long Nigerian way, because you know.
He used to be like a gay what is that? And now the other time he was.
Like, you know, I hope Allah chooses Pete Buddha check and he was like him and his partner Daisy I said, not partner from a Nigerian.
He said diner. Yeah. I was like and he was like always was I like him.
He seemed like a good dad, a good I was like, oh my god, you know who really turned him around?
Rachel Maddow.
Oh I think you've told us that before. Rachel Maddow.
Yeah. He was like, I think she's gay. I said nothing, definitely, And I could tell he was.
Struggling with her, like, oh my god, like god, she's so smile.
And then he was like all the things I've been told, he said, lie, Because.
I was like, if Rachel's not going to heaven.
No, no, Sometimes we got to give parents a little grace and facecause group at a time about where things were not okay, and you know, and of course, certainly you know, I'm not saying we got to excuse all the bad behavior.
But I love you know, we love a turnaround story.
And so the fact that he said partner, I was like, what in the.
Let me just tell you. Every white person in Beverly Hills love to tell me how excited they were about Kamala when I they were so proud, including my Airbnb host, and she would go to her friend's house and come back three sheets to the why just I loved it. I just loved her as a character. I just was like, oh, you are everything, and she'd be like, we were all talking about Kamala and I told her about you know, they did the white lady version of the Zoom.
Yeah, and they did great.
It was Glennon Doyle, but to be clear, they were coached and the words advised by Lovey, a black woman.
Love you really m hm.
She a very hard gig.
Well, she and Glenna are really close. They've been friends for a number of years. And so yeah, when Glenn saw, because you know, Glenn is a super ally so when went in saw you know, the what black women had done, she was like, no, we have to stand up and do something. They broke Zoom. I think they had one hundred and forty fifty fifty thousand women on Doom and kindly they were.
It was incredible.
They raised about two million dollars on that one call alone. And yeah, so I just want to be yes, it is and also too, I just want to be I love the fact that her name is Joe Cad, Joe Cardie, Joe Kate. She's a woman who started the Black Women Like Women. You know, I'm gonna say her name incorrectly, which I hate.
Take a breath. Find out the.
Yeah, I am gonna find Joe j Okay. I feel like I'm still gonna say it wrong.
Even though do the Google thing where it like reads the name out oh maybe sucks or LinkedIn also does that. Sometimes they will put their name up. I love that.
Oh, but I don't even know how to no.
There she is okay so ja oh, Joe Taka, j O t.
A k a Okaya Taka.
Yes.
So I met her at first because I had done something with own.
She worked with Oprah a lot.
I done something with own some of the years back. It was like some mini talk show like Black Women in Money, and she was the host. So I met her there, Joe Taka. She was so nice, edie. And then I actually saw her again. Remember I went to like it was like the International Women's Day or whatever, and they held it at the White House all the time.
So and so I saw her there.
She was so great. She was she literally took pictures of me. She's like, sit on this couch.
He asked, girl, yes, and so was her m hm, so nice.
And so when I saw that, it was she behind kind of like this movement so black women. If I'm being candid, I know so many of us heard that the current president, Joe Biden, president of Minden, was not going to seek re election and nomination. That we were like, and he said, you know, I'm throwing my weight behind Kamala. I think all of us were like.
Oh my god, like that would be great, but America not America, if you will.
So I think we're all nervous, like I guess not because of her qualifications, but more so.
Like I don't know, will vote for her?
Yeah?
Yes, And then you know, Jotaka was like, girl, we are about to do that.
That same boom, she said black women. She set the tone and since then, I've seen white women for Kamala.
I sawt like there's a there was this, uh, I guess wherever Trump has something in Florida, like whatever neighborhood they mark, So they did a golf a golf cart like like in that area for Kamala.
Oh my god, I love that troll him within an interest of life America.
I mean, and all these uber wealthy older white Americans that you would think, no way, they're all going to vote for no. And so yeah, it has been you know, like amazing and so low key high key. When I
went to the Vice President's residence. Like a member of her staff was like, oh, this is before it was announced, and I don't know that even she knew, but anyway, they had asked she's on an economic empowerment tour I think an economic compairment tour, and they were like, Tipicanly, we'd love for you to join her on tour.
I was like what, And.
You know, I was like, okay, But you know, now with all these changes, I don't know what that means about being candid because we can all see, like because now it's more than an economic empowerment tour and so I don't know what it all would look like or even that offers to open I'm certainly talking behind the scenes, so you might see your girl on tour with.
The first you told you. When you told me that news the first time, I was like, thank God, it's you. Like I think they're doing the right thing when they're reaching out to you to be yeah, to be a conduit for that message, and I'm so happy for you.
So, like I said, we'll see because we have you know, like it's it's still up in the air because of all that's happened.
That's when I spoken to you know, her office.
They were like, oh, as you can imagine, it's a little scrambly over here, but let's connect this week and see like what that might look like. And so I said, girl, just let me know, tag me in and like, can you imagine when she wins the presidency, I will have a video of the President of the United States talking about talking hey mommy to my mom.
Girl, my mother. Their first black president, not just I mean sorry, the first black female president and South Asian president.
My mom is gonna be like, you're not gonna be able to tell Sylvia Oli not a damn thing.
Okay, Yeah, oh my god, I'm so ready And ba fam where I told y'all before we even knew about Kamala, I said, I'm choosing hope, I'm choosing optimism, and I'm lining up all these great guests. We're gonna have the most incredible fun time. We're gonna have an actual fun time talking about the election and all the issues that matter to black women. I cannot wait.
It's kind of like a special Yeah, we're not gonna say.
We can't say, but I think there's three guests who I have been dying to have on the show and I am so excited. So get ready it's all gonna start in September October, the Road to twenty twenty four.
Yeah, uh huh, but no, cydbar you told me something not to be in all your business, which you had to say is something you were at this conference that you realize something about yourself.
That attributed to your ability to like be a really good negotiator. And it's it's not something that people would think do you want to say? It was like, you know, it's a two personal don't take it personal.
I have been I am dying to share it with you and shake and thank you to Chris Brown of Popcorn Finance, my new brother from another mother, brother from another mother, because he was the first audience. I worked out this, like, uh, this train of thought on while we were hiking in the canyons, like you know, trying to be cool in California and dying from heat stroke. And so I get so butterfly when I when I say this, Okay, so I realized why I am so
effing good at what I do? And you know, Chris was like, so where do you think that comes from? I've been asked before, like how do you negotiate. I was telling him all these tips. He's like, I got this agent and he told me one of the deals the agent got and I was like, please, here's what I would ask for. And he's like, where does that come from? And then I was like starting to back
up to the day before we hung out. I had invited I had looked up an old friend from the from in the area who was who I met in journalism years ago, like full disclosure and husband knows this. I used to have a crush on this guy, like way back when I was like eighteen or whenever I was how old am I now? Twenty years ago? But anyway, found out that he had been like really sick just generally wanted to like reconnect, and we hung out and I was like, oh, I still have a crum crush.
Two thousand and eight is calling. They say you still got a crush, and I was like, oh my god, I'm not dead. But also I'm like, I'm a married woman and I love my husband, so no, so what did I decide to do. Most people, I realized, would just would just like, I don't know, stop hanging out with them and just you know. But then like that never like whatever. I decided to tell him why I didn't want to hang out. The next day, I was like, and I was, and I was just like, hey, I
gotta be honest. Kind of have a crush on you. I realize that's not okay. You got a girlfriend, I have a husband and two children, but like, you know, let's just be honest. We talked about how life was too short, and I was like, I'm just letting you know, canceling your invite for tomorrow at the pool, like you're
not coming, have a good life. And I sent it and I was so like, this is the part of me that felt like, oh my god, I still got it, Like I'm still that bold just do the scary thing, jump off a cliff, but make it a personal conversation instead of an actual cliff kind of girl. And I was telling Chris about this and he was dying, you guys, Chris, if you've ever seen a person just folden on themselves like he was a sheet of paper, And me telling him what I told my friend, He was like, why
did you do that? And he was so deeply uncomfortable with it, and I realized, like that's my adrenaline high. I love it. Love. I love saying something out loud that nobody expects, like at a one to one. So and that was not my first time. I was like, I'm having a memory now when I was fifteen years old, Like I had been telling boys I like them just for the hell of it, for the thrill of it, and asking them on dates since I was fifteen. And
this is the first time I publicly admitted this. But yeah, when I was fifteen, there's a boy on the bus, as there are and I just fell in love with the back of his head. I thought he was so cute. I was brand new to the school and I don't know, being new to the school, I felt like, nobody knows you like reinvent yourself. Ask a boy out fifteen. I don't know. I think I watched too much Oprah after school, but something. So, how do you feel in your body right now, Tiffany, are you feeling.
I am yes, because you know me, I'm literally the exact opposite.
So I am this terrified, scary.
Remember I told you what have Pinatier Dreiell passed away because he was like my magic mirror on the wall was like, girl, the reflection.
Is always what big unipo and then without Darrell hair was like, who don't know how I look?
And I was feeling very n hinged, and dating and all the things was so stressful. I thought I was going to have like many panic attacks, which I did. So you saying this is so the antithesis, Like I admire this so much because I could, like a man would have to tell me, hey, I really like you and find you really attractive.
And I'm still like, you're.
Talking to me here the girl behind me, like, it's so don't continue that you told this fifteen year old boy, And first of all, I'm laughing at them about that.
I was also fifteen. Let's speak clear on that. Oh my god, they going to clip out of that without the context.
Oh my god, when you were fifteen, that's so relatable. I have definitely fallen in love with the back of my boy's head like a background. I love the way his haircurs right here, girl, who is he even?
Oh my god, So you told him? No, I didn't tell him. I straight top asked him out. So okay, it was the week of Valentine's Day. I might have told my sister that was my plan, and she might have told me please don't do that, but I was like, m and I just you know, I'm such an imaginative person on the bus, I just imagine this whole storyline where I was going to go up to him at his locker and I'd be like, hey, so, I like you, would you ever want to go out on a date?
And then I did it. I walked, I followed him a little backpacks on, you know, my little pay left shoes, click a clock cook to his locker and I was like, hey, so and so, yeah, I think you're really cute. Would you ever want to go on a date with me? And and here's the thing, and I'll just I'll stop the story then and now we're married. No, that's not what happened, but I'll tell you before I get to
what happened next. All I have to say is, for me, it is not about what they say, like say I like you too, I don't like you, like get the f away from me. It's not about that. For me, it's the thrill of like just saying the truth out loud and just like not dying after, Like you're actually not going to bloat into flames if you put yourself out there in that way. Anyway, he had a girlfriend and he was super nice about it, and he was like, actually, no,
I have a girlfriend. She goes to different school. And I was like, okay, cool, see you around, see you in homeroom. And that was the first time. And I have done oh my god, I have done that multiple times in my life. Sometimes when we're working out, Like right before I met Enrique, I was on the war path. I was like, I'm by me a mate in New York. I really no, I'm not kidding. I was telling Chris. I'm like, Chris, Oh, Chris, bless his heart. I think
I gave him heart failure. He's a very nice boy anyway, But I'm like, yeah, I just kind of like would decide I didn't want to waste time. I mean, it's not wasting time to have a really good friend, you know what I mean. Like, I love meeting new people, but when you actually develop feelings, it's quite uncomfortable to be in that presence, like especially if they're unrequited, requitted requited.
So for me, it was just like, let me just see if this is going anywhere, because if it's not, I'm just gonna like continue bringing my energy, my sparkle. I'm fabulous, just like give that energy to someone else, you know what I mean.
You are and I just I am I that so much.
And I can see that in grown Mandy now and how you negotiate on your own behalf business and career and otherwise.
There's I mean, it's exactly the same rush of just telling someone And this is just me saying I was gonna do it, my brown, my brown boost, but I challenge you even like and it does. I don't believe there's any shame in that as a grown woman. Yes I'm married, Yes I have a kid, but like I'm not dead, Like we're adults, you know, So just saying like, hey, I really have like a crush on you, or whatever you want however you want to say it, Okay, maybe don't do that. I am a little cuckoo for coconuts
Coco clubs. I know that you don't need to tell. But for me, it was just like it was a little bit. It was so thrilling, and it was just like I it just reminded me how bold and awesome I can be and beautiful, oh yeah, bold and beild
and beautiful. And then I and then you know, Chris was asking me more about my you know, negotiating when like, as for creators, I had just given a talk at this women in Money event and it was all about how to It's called bank your brand, so it's about how you can negotiate on your behalf get brands like all of that. And I said, I think I finally have the answer. I'm just I love that adrenaline rush.
I can I can withstand it, like I can withstand the dread and the anticipation and all of that, and I can do it and I can walk away and just coming down from that high. Ugh, there's nothing like it. And Chris was like, I know you probably skydive before having you. I was like, yeah, you have paragliding, Yes, skydiving paragliding. So I hitchhiked down. I hitchhiked, you know, I said yes to a boy who asked me to go hitchhiking up and down the coast of Chili. I
was like, yeah, cool, sounds good. Eighteen wheeler would love to tag along.
So one thing I really admire too is that a lot of people would have one felt the crush, two not said anything to the crush, and then three not said anything to their partner, But you told your partner.
Maybe I just talked too much. Now, yeah, I told him. I was like, because I wanted him to know what an incredible week I had. I wanted him to know how amazing this was for me to just like to
like be by myself and to and to listen. He always has my location anyway, like there's no Also the best thing about my husband is just like how little he he how he knows like I'm ninety nine percent just talk and like just like tap dancing and like, you know, I just say all I see things all the time to try to like get a rise out of him, and he just doesn't give me any reaction.
They called they called the beige flag.
The beige flag. Oh yeah, he's like, he's.
Just like, so, how did that conversation go with the girls who are like, ah.
Wait it went?
Man?
I wish it was exciting. I was just like I couldn't I couldn't contain it. I was like, I have to tell you something. And I told him and I was like, nothing happened, blah blah blah blah blah, and he was just he just made this face. He was just like, okay, so about these are rapists. We were going to the restaurant. No, I'm not kidding. He's like, what kind of a rippa do you want? Are you going to do? Going on dynasts take that's all he knows you.
He's like, girl, this is my girl, and so you know, but I love that, Like I think, I think it's important that people in healthy relationships show like you know, because it's it's not unhealthy to be like, oh my gosh, that person's really cool. And it's also not unhealthy to tell your partner like, you know, you have a say.
What that signals to me is that you have a safe space to have that conversation with h Yeah, you know, because some places couldn't, like some some partners would absolutely blow up.
That's why I didn't want you to go by yourself. You can't ever go out of there.
And it's like it shows the health that you have in yourself, but also the healthy relationship we have with him, and so no, I just love that.
And I love that you can.
Trace your ability to navigate the hard financial conversations to being able to advocate for yourself when it came to you, like your romantic interests as a young woman. That's like so critical, you know, And so I think so many of your whole are raising, you know, young people, especially girls, this sense of confidence to instill in them because you
might think it's just this, it's not. It's going to follow them into the future about how they feel about themselves when they're six and ten and fifteen.
Is how you feel about yourself in the boardroom when.
You're thirty and forty five and fifty, it absolutely matters, Like I am a testament to I had to claw my way back to like feeling good about myself because I was allowing things to happen in business that ought not.
To be because I was like, well, maybe just I just kind of saw it. Maybe I just like let me just be easy and let me just be and so.
Losing out because I wasn't bold as like as I was deserving to be for myself. And so no, I love that, and honestly I admire that so much, Mane. I think underlying I kind of sensed that in you, like I probably didn't have the wording for it. And it's like one of the things I like, I really love most about you is that the sense of like, girl, if it could be gotten, I'm gonna get it.
You know, well I don't get it. Sometimes I just say it, I want it.
I'm okay.
Yeah, it's like, you know, you missed one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. It's literally the tagline yeah and I and I. It's just the adrenaline rush. I think it's I think it's exactly why you see people like do the cliff, like the base jumping, where you just hurl yourself off a cliff. It goes against everything and your anatomy, like your biology to put yourself in that kind of peril. And I don't think there's
that much different. There's not that much difference between like negotiating or just asking for more, or going going after an opportunity or going after a crush whatever. And you know, again, Chris love him so much. He listened to all of this and then he was he was like, you won't tell your husband. I was like, yeah, shut up, just it's fine, it's fine, keep biking. And what was it that he said? He was like, oh, I'd be too scared, And I'm like, but that's the thing. I'm always scared.
Okay, I'm all.
I was touch I mean, I was like, I was awkward and you know, and nervous to say the thing out loud, you know, and to the guy. And I'm nervous what every time I negotiate, And it didn't it Also, I think it helped matters that the day that I did that, I had helped two badass Mandy moneymakers with their negotiations. They both got offers on the table, one for like forty K more than she was making, one
for thirty K more than she was making. And every time I'm negotiating with them, I still get a little nervous. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna ask for more, and like they have to do it, you know. And I just try to tell them I can coach them and what to ask for and all of that. But at the end of the day, it's them picking up the phone and calling or sending that email, and I just I never lie about it's gonna be scary. The point is push through the fear and do it anyway. And that
I and that's the hard part. It's not because you're scared, it's because you're too afraid that you won't survive the fear like to push through it.
Ooh, you think you won't, so the fear.
You think the fear is going to consume you, But really if you don't. On the other side of that fear is freedom. Whatever happens, you said it, you did it. You know the outcome. So I will. Nine times out of ten, I'm walking through that fear fire and I will be so much happier and free on the other side. So Beverly Hills, Baby, Beverly Hills, Mandy, you might be
seeing me again. I don't know, but I'm definitely going to try to incorporate so much more solo travel because I just love hanging out with myself and being in new places and I don't get to. Not that I don't get to, but yeah, I just haven't had the space for that, and I want to make more of that. It felt really damn good. And I hope my kids also will see like me coming back so happy going and traveling alone and being brave and all of that. I hope to instill that in them as well.
I love that.
Yeah, I think on that note, we're gonna take a break and come back with some brown break brown booz All right right back, he off, we pay some bills, and we're back, and now it's time to boost up.
Break up, boost up, break up, boost up, break up? Boost? Are you gonna boost? Are you gonna break? What you're gonna do to do what you're gonna take? So and then I decide I'm gonna go first, and I'm.
Going to do a boost because I have been and my boost is for transitions, because they're a bitch.
Okay, here's the thing.
I've been going through a lot of transition obviously, but lately more there's just been so many changes, from leaving my house that I build my husband to this condo where largely I'm by myself, although I did ask my baby sister Lisa to stay with me for the summer so I can make an easier transition of it here. Even transitioning you know into like dating and like partnership again. Business, there's a lot of transitions happening in business that are scary.
The growth is is scary but necessary. Even Brann and Bishen, we're gonna be transitioning. We have some like exciting transitions that we're going to have. You guys, you know that really just going to take Brann and bishon to the next level, and something that you said earlier in.
The app really sparked that.
I think sometimes people look at you, Mandy, or people like you, and they think that you're doing the thing unafraid, and I think, really a good aha moment is that, like, oh, so Manby is afraid, but she's just always, you know, like that she has just reminded herself that the fear doesn't kill, you know, and that if you can get past it, then like, you know, what's on the other
side typically is so much much better. And so it has been a lot I'm not gonna lie so many changes, I mean, but now I couldn't even sleep here by myself, like the first night, like coming to the condo.
I had bought this place.
It took me a while to even start to renovate, and then even the renovations, I was throwing monkey wrenches left and.
Right to slow it down.
And then even when it's done, I refused to come here to like I would come here during the day, but I could not sleep here. And then I asked for my therapist said, why don't you ask for someone to spend the night? First few nights until my sister Lisa did, and it made it so much easier. And now I'm not gonna lie, like I really love it here. I mean it is beautiful and designed exactly to my rich auntie afrocentric traveling specifica. I mean, it is amazing
here and it feels like home. And when I go back to the house, that still feels like home too. So I think I thought I was gonna be like stripped and ripped away, and even now more so, like I was talking to my partner, I know, it's crazy because it's like three years ago. You know, Drop passed away three years ago, and three years I know, isn't that crazy.
I'm not gonna lie. I didn't think I was gonna be here.
I just was like wishing for me to go to sleep and not wake up, you know, like that was usually.
That was like my ardent prayer, Like I could just go to sleep and not wake up. That would be great. Thanks God. So I'm up again.
Great you're obviously not listening, like for real, our turbulence on a plane. I was like, if that's what we're gonna do, let's do it. I mean that's what I used to think. So the fact that I'm here is a miracle itself, because I just felt like everything went away when he went away. But the fact that I'm here and that I have found like a partner again, I don't know, Like I don't I'm still in this weird space where, like, you know, I've had an amazing marriage.
I'm not opposed to getting married again, but I don't feel the urgency that I did in my thirties. You know how that goes. I just feel like, I mean, if that happens, great, and if it doesn't, okay, But I will say that I'm in a really healthy, happy, communicative partnership that builds on all of the amazing love and lessons that I learned from Jerell. Like I could not have this partnership without what I had with Jerrell, you know, because he taught me, He really healed me
and taught me what healthy relationship look like. And then from there I got to now experience what I'm experiencing now, and he's just loving and lovely and so much grace to grieve whenever, and so yeah, and so I just think, like, and it was hard because I made him work JOm.
I mean, it was a lot of therapy, Like doctor green. I think it's a lot. She's like, well, wow, wow, would he benefit from I knew.
I knew when you guys early in your relationship when y'all were reading the Attached book, Yes, and like he was. Y'all were meeting weekly to discuss chapters. And I was like, oh, this boy is in it, Like is he has whooked? She has him right where she wants him. Why are you here? Go away?
What an amazing subch I just want to say that, like you know. And so I thought to myself, like, is it a portrayal? Like transition? It's another transition, like if I care and love someone else, is this a portrayal to like my love and care for Jirelle, Because that's a transition too, And doctor Renold reminds me that it's it's different, You're not.
One of the best kind of like ways that.
She reframed it is that do you know anybody with children? I said yes, and I think I actually brought up you, Mandy, and she said, well, you know, I'm sure if you would ask like your friend, your sister or your friend Mandy when their first kid of ride, they were like, I don't think I can love another human being more than this little baby right here, Like my heart is so full. It's just I didn't know this kind of
love is possible. It just unfolded something, right. And then they had baby number two, and it wasn't like, ooh, so sorry, mabe number two. Baby number one took up all the space, so you're gonna have to figure you're gonna have to live on love scraps.
No, she said, what love does is that it increases your capacity for more love.
It really does. And that was like okay, and she was like, that's why someone can have a child, love that child so much. Think I could not possibly love anybody like this, have another child to be like and here we are again. And so she said, because you were so loved well loved by Jirell, and because you loved Durell so much, it increased your capacity to love and be loved again. So this is not an erasure. This is an add on, you know. And I just
was like, okay. So that helped a lot with the guilt of like is it okay to continue living when he has not?
You know?
So yeah, And just like transition, with transition, you know, there's just financial transitions, you know, like my company has the opportunity to just explode. And so even that, like, I'm just trying to be open. And I hope what you guys took away from the earlier episode or earlier in the episode is that.
That there is no separation.
That the way if I'm not open to emotional and mental and like transition, then it also like affects the way I earn and manage my money.
It's like where you're closed here, you're closed in general.
And so I'm realizing that like in order for me to have access to all the good things financial and otherwise, I have to really be open and to despite the fear, move forward.
And so yeah, I'm just grateful. I'm just grateful for the good people in my life.
I think by you, Mandy, I mean we have been through a lot, girl, I have been through a lot.
I think are.
I would say the most. I mean I believe the best is the best is yet to come. Anyway, I believe it's all ahead of us. But I also think that thank God for this show because because we really have a time capsule, I mean, the most action packed years for our existence.
I mean.
All of back Mondays. If you want to know about old Mandy and old Tiffany. I mean.
I buy my pack panties from Target or if my girl at least go to marshl That was like.
You know, I don't want a baby. No, I can't get enough. I want to two more.
But yeah, so I just like, you know, I just wanted to dedicate my my brown boost to transitions and say I'm so grateful for you. Do Wan I said, I know we are podcast official.
Do Wan is the one?
Wan is the one? I said, do Wan is the one? Do Wan is one? All?
I know because I said, because we've been like keeping it low, and he's just like, oh, let me find out that. Like you know how like many usually the ones that don't want to he said, I'm this close, Tiffany, I'm not the post. I'm about the post on social I'm like, oh my god, Like, why does it matter if people know? He's like, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud to be with you. Yeah, and I don't want to have to hide it. I'm like, well, I'm not hiding it. I'm just private. It's not a man,
I'm just private. And so yeah, I guess.
To the fee post him in the feed let him know we slow, but like, yeah, so storys are all around me like a little story I tell.
So that is my boost.
I'm going to co sign your boost because I don't want to follow that, and I think it was it was a co boost And I love you so I was going to use a bad word. I love you so much genuinely.
I don't love you too many for real.
That's so grateful if you would have told them, I don't think that anyone, because I mean, yeah, just to think of where we are now, like the growth, you know, the friendship up, the down, the just yeah, this has been like this podcast has been such a blessing something.
That I was like, okay, you know, but it's been like this.
Constant, you know, in my life, and as a results, so have you and our friends who has just grown and developed in ways I could not have imagined when we first decided, like.
Let's do this thing. You know.
So I love you too, girl, We love you, ba fam Yes, love you so much. Please leave a review for us if you're out there in the internet streets. I'm gonna see if we've got any. Did you read that review that I texted you to wasn't it funny?
Did you text me?
There's like several texts that you have not got.
It's been so crazy. I am don't worry. I'm gonna I'm gonna.
No, okay, this one oh it was dropped the name Sis from car Kayla Ray and Kayla Ray and said, drop the name Sis. You ladies give me life. I seriously consider you both my aunties whose advice I actually listened to. I appreciate the kindness. Excuse me, I appreciate the kindness, tough love and everything in between. I came here to leave a good review, obviously, but also to say drop the name Sis. We want to know who was trying not to pay Tiffany for her speaking engagements.
I don't like to drop the name because sometimes they'd be coming back around, and I don't want to be like, you know, but for your snocky mouth, we was gonna pay you.
So we don't want just a good punchline to block blessings, you know what I mean? And our dollar signs and then diva six number number numbers, says I adore the podcast. These are my besties. I have learned so much listening to them, just like having a conversation with good friends. I'm so invested and I look forward to every episode. These women are family, that's all. That's like, you can't.
There's no better compliment than that for me, not a personal finance podcast, Like come on, I was saying that about dr Show who Who.
We all.
So love y'all bee fam Until next time, check us out Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.
Bye bye