It's time for the b a q a A the b a q a what you say, the b a q a man day, the b a q a with today the b a q a a b abssion question answers, you have questions, we have some answers. We are not your therapists. That's your financial advisor, your attorney. But we are too smart brown girls when it comes to money, career, business, personal finances. So today we have a special guest relations Yeah, well, I mean I don't.
Know about relationship. You know, I think you.
Too, But we have someone in the studio today with us.
Welcome as Carolyn Jones. Yeah, hello, where are you? Yeah? I'm excited. You got to see a little behind the scenes of us figuring out what the heck where are you joining us from?
I am from Toronto, Canada.
We're international, that's it. He real. Nice.
See you're an honorary Canadian.
Now what's your BA story? How long have you been listening?
Oh, I've been listening for some time. And actually I'm a mentor in Tiffany's mentor program. So yeah, I've been enjoying that immensely. You give so much knowledge and it's it's been such a great experience. So yeah, really appreciative actually of the opportunity to come on talk to you guys.
Awesome, Well hit us, what's your question? We are going into this completely blind.
Okay for sure. So I'm in the state age of life where my daughter is going off to university and you know, you have, you know in your mind that you've saved enough money, but technically it's probably going to be like twenty grand a year probably for four years, which can add up really quick. And then on top of that, you know her spending and different things that
can go on while she's in university. So you know, I did have some savings when we first started, when she was born, actually we started putting away, but you know, the times are interesting times now. Of course she's going into university where the market has kind of made a little bit of a downturn, and so you know, you've lost money a little bit there. But but how do we kind of navigate through this new phase of life? Right? And secondly, you know, to actually help her with her
own budgeting skills. Yeah, so when did she start her first since in September twenty twenty three.
And is it in Canada that she's going or in the US.
She'll probably be going in Canada.
Yes, yeah, I want to know, do y'all have well? In the US? I know, we have the FASTPA, which is the Federal application for Financial Student Aid, which is like key to unlocking scholarship money also student loans of course, but any kind of aid. Do y'all have something similar in Canada?
We do? Yes. It goes by income based based on the parents' income, and so it's something that you can definitely tap into as well.
For sure, are y'all in that middle class trap where you like earn too much to get a lot that's exactly the same. I'm like, none of the good tax deductions. I don't get none of them.
I know, well, I would say that there are. I mean, even if she, you know, doesn't qualify for income based assistance, I'm sure she's smart as a whip because she got you as a mama, and so I you know, now
would be the time. This is what I'm doing for a supergirl, My my bonus daughter is like applying for any type of scholarship that she might you know, qualified for, so really leaning into her guidance counselor and any other like resources online that helped you to identify scholarships and money is available that are not income based, but maybe their merit based. Maybe she's a you know, she's a cheerleader, or she's really good at science.
You know, she's a young woman of color. So that already.
I mean, I don't know how that works in Canada, but you know here, you know, so I would be leaning into because there's so much money left on the table. So I'll give you an example of my sister. When she was in she thought she was going to be a doctor. She's a scientist now, but she thought she was going to be a doctor. And so she got a scholarship to Montclair State University that paid for school. And when she applied, she was so nervous about whether
she was going to get it. And when she submitted it, the lady was like, you could have literally wrote Mary had a little land one hundred times and you were going to get it because there are five spots and only four people applied. Wow, And so there's a lot of money left on the table. There's probably not as
much competition as you think. So I would start with that, you know, because when did you said and it's coming up, but still, you know, there's money can be happened, can happen every year season school, so it's not like, yeah, it has to open found.
Does she have like a does she have a thing? You know, is there a sport or a yeah?
Does like me that? Okay, yeah, she does dance.
I never had a thing. So jealous of any kid in college. I was like, I don't have a thing. I'm just black, I guess. But no, I would say there's any sort of scholarship through her the dance community. And does she have her eye on a particular school yet?
Yeah, she's been really you know, my daughter is very indecisive, so we've done a lot of like research and going around and checking out different schools. So I think she has her eye on couple now.
But yeah, I would strategize if she has specific schools, I would get in touch with her or even just google and go to their website and see what sorts of scholarships they have because for me, one of the and I'm glad Tiffany mentioned that some scholarships you can renew every year because when I was in school, I studied journalism and there was one scholarship through that specific school. It was a few thousand dollars and you had to
apply each year, you had to remember to apply. But if there's like a yeah, if there's a specific school or focus that she wants to pursue, they may have particular scholarships for people like her. And then with the with the concept of indecisiveness too, Tiff, like, I think we should talk about what are the options for maybe if she doesn't really know where she wants to go yet or what she wants to do, you know, going into a smaller school to start with, like a community
college or equivalent in Canada. I don't know what the structure is like there, but you know, figure out, get your core your core classes, you know, under your belt, save some money, and then transfer in potentially to a bigger school if that's what she wants, and they'll talk about yeah.
Yeah, I would totally agree with that, because even when we did some tours and the bigger schools really did overwhelm her, and so it was she really did gravitate to some of the smaller schools. And again, you know, you're coming from a high school that's like maybe I don't know, four hundred students at the most right, Like it's a really small school. So going from that to like something like seventy two thousand is just you know, kind of a little overwhelming for them.
Right, Beware those little tiny liberal art schools though, those are the ones I get. Everyone like, get so many kids wrapped up in student loans because they are are private. Oh yeah, they're so true. And they'll tell you because I almost ended up going to a school like that
in Georgia. They were like, you get twenty five thousand dollars tuition, you know, like a scholarship, and I was so proud, but then I realized, well, the total scholar the total tuition was like forty k. And yeah, it's really not Do we take a quick little break, brb.
All and we're back. Second question.
The second question about how do you get her on you know, financial to start thinking about things, you know, you want to start having those conversations now about her, you know, about her personal finance.
I mean, I will recommend Gigos money.
It's a great pre college post college, but honestly, even working through it maybe with her or just like like there like any financial tool, like working through it with her, having those conversations like when you go to school, you might be interested in getting your credit card.
Here's what you should look for.
Here is you know, when it's just in case she does get student loans, you know, when your free front check comes. Here's the best way to navigate that. So having those conversations ahead of time, deciding on a game plan, and working through it with her, because she's got to make mistakes, but you want her to make mistakes under the protection of your parent or guidance.
You know, That's what my dad did.
I made mistakes, but it was like, hey, this thing is happening, talk to me before you make that move. So we map data plan so I didn't feel so kind of like I was just out there making choices by myself.
Mm hmmmm. So important actually, yeah, to create a plan, especially with her, you know, are you like do plans? Keep them structured too? Right?
So let's be real, are you what kind of mom are you? Are you like a, Oh, they're gonna mess it up. I'm just gonna do it for her? Kind of are you feeling out her applications? What are you writing your essays? What kind of mom? Are you? You're real?
Okay, I think I'm not quite on the far end of that, but probably somewhere you're in a year right because you know you want the best for them, and that's the thing you have to try and let them do their thing, but at the same time.
Go easier said than easier said be said. But you know, with all my experience, my all my three years of raising a tiny human know what I would say is I have seen what happens when you overdo it, like you do everything for them, and the lack of confidence so that I can create and then making their own
decisions that can follow them well after college. Like a college degree is all well and good, but I think the lessons of being kind of lung out into a relatively you know, like you still have the support of your family, but relatively like independent environment, and be like, have her decide what's my budget going to be for my meals? I don't know if she decides to not get the meal plan for example, which I decided to
do to save money. I had to learn how to buy groceries and budget for that and get a part time job so that I could afford my rent. And that really instilled so much independence and confidence that was I feel like a part of the college experience, and I'm just I've seen it go the other way, and yeah, I would just say, as much as you can, let her figure out her own situation and let her come to you if she has questions, give her some like guidelines and you know, let her know that she has
a bit of a safety net. But as much as you can let her be her own person making her own choices.
You know, It's funny because as a parent, you and I think, I think I've fall into this generation where you're trying to give your kids a better life, right, so you remember the struggle, you remember how it was, and so therefore your trying to provide so they don't have to worry about those things. But I think in somewhere in there, we're losing that sense of independence and we're losing the sense of you know, initiative. So I try and myself aware of that, but it is hard.
Sometimes we're like I don't want to make a decision because like what's mom going to say? Or for me, it's like seeing someone not being able to make their own choice until they've spoken to a parent or whoever that person was who's been sort of pulling the strings. I mean, I'm not saying go. Like my parents were out where, they were like, you'll be fine bye. I was like a last I was a last key kid in every sense of the word. A little, a little you know, support would have been nice. My dad did
love to take any grocery shopping though. That's the one thing he would do. He'd come to college and we'd go to the Walmart together and it'd be fun. But he'd want to go after work hours because that's when the single moms go to Walmart, so he could and he was just like, yep, he would like narrate our shopping trip, like, oh, just take him a baby girl up to Walmart.
I know, so the people would know, like, I'm just a good dad, good.
Single dad doing his you know, out here working hard and see what prices are on the beast.
You know.
Yep, oh again, that's good.
I'm gad to your daddy something out.
Yeah, But honestly, I think it's constant communication. But yes, you're wanting could because college is the time.
To make the mistakes, you know.
You know, there's a lot of forgiveness when you're seventeen, eighteen, nineteen twenty, you know, credit scores can go down because they could be raised again.
You know what I mean, You're gonna make those mistakes.
You're gonna actually want her to make those mistakes because as she learns to dig herself out, then she's the twenty five year old with the confidence and the knowledge to like, you know, get on the street and narrow, you know, so not to freak out when her credit score is terrible or she over spends.
Or she's late or behind. Those are normal.
Things for that age range. You know, I didn't make those mistakes until well after college because my dad kind of narrated exactly what to do when I was in I just did what he said. And then when I was like, I got it, I did.
It and I was like, wait, what do I do?
And so I made every mistake hitting the book that I was cleaning up by the age thirty, and I just wish, you know, I had the freedom to make more mistakes when I was when I was younger. So yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, it's like falling when you're eighty versus following falling when you're eighteen. You know, you following you're eighty, that hip is going out, you know, eighteen, you know, you know, you'll get out of a little embarrassed. It's like, let that baby fall.
When she's when she's when she's young, you know what.
It's like I said, having those conversations regularly, checking in regularly because really, to me, your job as a parent is to give your kid the tools, you know, not to do it for them, so that what they can learn along the way. And so the tools that you come up with based upon how you know she navigates. I mean, you're her mama, so you know, like my mom knows me well, she knows if I do like this, Tiff, he's not gonna listen.
So I got to do it like this for her to get it.
So knowing that finding tools that will resonate with how she shows up in life, you know.
And so those are truly young. It's hard to like remind young people to think about the future because everything is like so in the moment. But if there's things that she wants to accomplish, like spring break trips, those always coming up nowhere, and then it's like am I gonna how am I gonna pay for this? Like if there's certain goals that she has, or if she has to travel for her dance, you know, competitions or buy
equipment or outfits and stuff. Maybe it's about creating a budget that is realistic for her, like what are her goals and what she actually going to be paying for and helping her just set up her accounts. And then I had a question for you. So financially, you said it's about twenty k a year tuition. Well, that's what y'all are looking like, So what are y'all's options for
paying for that? Do you have a nice nest egg that you're thinking do I dip into this or would y'all potentially like are you thinking of maybe co signing loans if it comes to that. I'm just wondering what your options are.
So I guess as parents, you always thought that we would pay for at least you know, the first degree, you know, the first the version that decide. Yeah, right, And so we do have savings that we created when she was she was young, and which I think will last us maybe two to three maybe years, and then after that it will come from our source of being come for sure.
So I mean that's incredible, But I don't think that that should dissuade her from looking for really an economical way to approach her education, because like that money could be a down payment for her first house as well, you know, or just selling or for her business if she decides to launch a business like something. You know, she ain't got to know that money is there.
This is it?
Like yeah, Carolyn, you say, Canada, Canada A.
Yeah, I do think knowing that there's a big nest, like a big financial cushion, just that knowledge will make you go through life a little differently. I don't it's that. It's I think you're right. It's about setting them up for success and making sure that they don't have to struggle like we did. But how can you create a sense that she's gonna you know, support?
It doesn't agree, right because I feel like black and brown people we have this thing where like our kids should know that things are hard.
And I'm like everybody else don't live like that, you know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
And so like, you know, like for example, Alyssa, right, my stepdaughter, she knows that there is a bunch of money waiting for her, either to pay for school or to pay for a home, and that she's going to be fine because I want her to choose what she wants to do, not what she feels like she has to do in order to scrape by and make ends meet.
Because I there was a I don't I don't know if you remember, we were in We're in that black finance group right elevate on Facebook and someone posted like, how many people who own a home you know, got down down payment assistant from their parent?
And like everyone was like, what does that even mean?
And she had posted it in our like you know, like necessarily it's not a white financial group, but it's basically most people there are white, and almost more than half said yeah, and it's not even something I feel like black and brown people can conceptualize like wait.
Your parents getting ready for.
You know, and so like that kind of financial support is foreign to us, but it ought not to be. I want to listen to know that, Like, yo, you're good either way. Choose what you want to do and what you enjoy. I haven't found that it has dampened her like desire for for more. If anything, She's like, you know, Tiffany, the way you navvig, I want that kind of life that you've been able to provide. What does that look like? So where she's always starting a
new business. Always she's my TikTok account manager. She finally got back to it because the money was running low and she was like at bed back and beyond nec on bottom. That's her new obsession, you know what I see that. What I love about it is that I thought that too, that maybe it was going to make her kind of like spoilt, and it's like, no, it's made her say, I want to maintain this lifestyle, you know,
and so what does that look like? And I talked to her about it, like, hey, you know, this is what I'm making. I don't need all this in order to do this lifestyle. But this is about the range that you'd have to make to make this lifestyle happen. So, because once you leave here, girl, you're gonna be on your own, you know. So if you're wanting this, you know, you have to think to yourself, what am I going to do for a living that will also provide this
for me. So we have those conversations because I think a lot of kids don't, and so I just say all that to say that, like, I don't want her to think that she's going to have to struggle financially because she's not, you know, And I told her, like I have you, either way, you'll my rule for everybody that I care about.
You'll never be homeless, are hungry, you know.
Now, excess and the bonus and the fabulous life whatever, that's on you. But as far as the basics, there's a solid foundation for you.
Mm hmm, you know.
And it's true.
I think it's like finding that balance between the two because again, you have this need to provide for them, but at the same time you want them to have some responsibility. And like maybe that's the key there is to anything that the bonus is, like like perhaps her entertainment while she's in school and things like that. Perhaps is that one.
Let's bring on her, right, Yeah, and that there's like a you know that the funds are earmarked for something like this is for your education or a down payment or maybe a vehicle, you know, like those kind of necessities, and let her see the work you know that you
guys have done to get that money. I think it's important to show that work if you invested it, Like God, I wish that would be a great forget about budgeting and like credit card, a certain point I wish my parents have been like, here's an i RA and you know, get yourself set up and contribute your little money to it. That would have been such an amazing gift.
Yeah.
I just put because you know now that she's quote unquot working, I put her IRA money. You know because right now the maximum for raw iray six thousand dollars a year. So I said, Alyssa, six thousand dollars going to be deposit into your account. It is not for sixteen year old me, Lissa, it is for sixty five year old listen. She was like, I said, I mean,
I texted to her. I called her about it. I let her mama know, depositive the money, the IRI, the raw Thiray account, like my financial advisor went to withdraw it it. The withdraw got denied and I'm like why and she said, because the money's not there. I was like, not all of it. A couple hundred, I said, Alyssa Banna Smith. I text her, I said, I set her the screenshot of the financial advisor saying that some of the money's not there.
It wasn't. She was like, oh, I thought they had taken it already.
I said, you thought you just had a just an extra six thousand dollars in your accounts because I told her.
Like I think I told her the day that like, oh the money.
Was withdrawn, Oh you put it in her bank accounts so it could be transferred to her exactly.
I had called her, yes, and so she doesn't know what. I was like, Alyssa, So I'm texting her. I was like, where is the money?
She was like, oh, I thought that that was like extra. I was wondering with that money. I was like this, you had exercise.
I'm not aware, Like we're what And so she's like, oh, you know, I'm gonna put back.
I'm gonna put it back.
So I guess because she has her own savings account, so I guess she must have like transferred it back. And I was like, let's have a talk after school, and she was.
Like, oh, it's back. Like chat.
But those are the types of mistakes that she ought to make, you know, because I told her, I said, if that's gonna happen, then I'm not gonna put money in your account. Like the reason why you're able to do this is that you cannot have a retirement account if you don't. If you're not making earned income and you're legitimately my TikTok manager, and so I pay you and then this is part of your payment where we're setting it aside. So that way you can set aside money.
I said, I'm not taking my dad. It's so crazy because I remember my dad having this conversation with me when I'm around her age and he was like transferring money from my checking to my savings and he's like, I'm not taking your money, I'm giving it from Tiffany to Tiffany, you know. And so it was crazy that was having that same conversation and like it might feel like, oh, Tiffany, the other woman that have nice things and candles whatever,
was like, no, it's going from Alyssa to Alyssa. It's just that Alyssa right now doesn't need it like Alyssa later will need it. And so having, you know, knowing that, I'm sure the next time I do is she's still gonna spend it. But we'll have those conversations because she's sixteen, and so if you have them enough by the time she's twenty five, she's good to go, you know. And so just keeping that in mind that, yeah, the mistakes
will happen. But to Mandy's point, having those conversations, like you know, I told her like what a rowth ira is and why that's so important and what that will look like, and you know, like I know that she doesn't fully understand, but I know that I'm planning the seeds, you know, for a sixteen year old who becomes a twenty something year old who's like, oh got it, you know, yesh. But I could not believe. But I was like, I just told this girl not.
To touch money.
Alissa, you ate a aajillionaire business badass, like you got everything going for you, going everything your project.
I was like, okay, do you know I don't want to test that.
Money, no pressure, No, but hopefully Caroenen, this was really helpful.
No, it was. It was. I so appreciate it. Really just getting thinking a little bit differently, right.
M hmmm.
Yes.
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