It's time for the b a q a A b a q A What you say?
The b a q eight with Mandad, the b a q eight with Tiffin, the b a q a.
A What's up? Be a fam Welcome to b a q.
A word your favorite brown girlies answer your business, career, personal finance questions. But we are not your mama. We are not your doctor, your attorney, your financial advisor.
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C or whatever.
But we want you to tap into the people that you do pay for advice. So you take us with the smallest grand of salt.
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Go to Bran and Bits from podcast dot com, click contact us, sign to the d MS on Insta, Brianna bis and podcast, the BA podcast on Twitter, and Bradnavision Podcasts at gmail dot com. Zuck, all right, Mandra, you wanna which one you want to go to? Be one first or you want to do the second one. The second one is kind of messy, honey, you failing messy? Are you feeling inspirational?
Ooh, I'm kind of feeling messy. Okay, okay, I'll start with inspiration.
Okay, okay, okay, this is from Well. You didn't say your name, so we're gonna call you jam Rock because you live in Jamaica, which I love. Ooh, good nights. I love this West thingda is why y'all do that? Good night, Hope all as well? You know how you know they answer the phone good night, good day. I love it anyway, good manners, good night Hope all is well. I have a question. How do you know when you're
ready for your next big financial step. I'm looking to either attain a home or car or car, however, the home is the higher priority. Currently I have no loans, student loans paid off, or debt okay, Jamaica, I'm also investing in have savings. Sending love from Jamaica. First of all, jam Rock, we.
Love this for you.
I love it.
We love this for you that you are in a position where, like you know, no dead, you have savings and so this is more like a mental shift. So how like Mandy, when you are you know, like when you before you bought the house with Enrique even I remember when you guys were contemplating the tesla, like what is the mindset shift that you like tussle with in order to make those changes, those financial changes?
How do I get my husband to agree with me? It sucks when you have to make big financial decisions as a unit because we each may have different ideas of one what ready is? And I feel like the first thing is if you're by yourself and it's just you, yourself and you, that almost makes things easier. I don't know if you have a family, but as far as like when are you ready for the move? The beautiful thing is that you've created a space where you are
financially prepared. I think for you, it's like, let's take the next steps to find out what would that look like for you. Do you know where you want to have a house? Do you know what your budget would be? Do you know the process for getting a mortgage? I don't know what that's like in Jamaica. If that's brings for Jamaica, mm hmm, yeah, Like what would that process
look like for you? And then you know, I don't feel like it's a It doesn't also doesn't have to It may not have to be a house or car, but which one serves you in your lifestyle? Right now, Renting is fine, Renting is cute. You want to have a nice car and keep renting, that's you know, you can do your thing. But you know, if you decide you one person you want to like invest in some property,
then that can be the better decision. But I think it's just about you not getting stuck at analysis analysis paralysis and actually like thinking through what the next steps would look like for you in either scenario. And I feel like the house is the big one that is going to take more than just going to a dealership. Right yeah. Yeah. If I was on my own, husby is currently fighting about car number two. I'm thinking I'm a long term person. I I don't really care about
cars so much. I know that there's plenty of households in America that have two kids and one car and they're doing just fine. I was one of those households for a long time. We were doing just fine. It would be more convenient, sure, but I'm doing just fine. So for me, I'm able to be like, Eh, car not so much. Let's like focus long term on our next property. Okay, but we're just at a stalemate right now.
But we're saving for a thing. We just don't have integrated on what the thing is.
You know.
I love that, So maybe that's part of the advice too, is like, you know, even if you haven't decided which is going to be the thing, continue to save and just say this is my savings for a call it big goal, you know. And I don't know how it is in Jamaica. But here in USA, USA, as my cousin would call cousins would call it. In Nigeria, we're
an USA. If you purchase a car and you get that you finance the car, it will prohibit you from likely getting a home for some months because they don't like to see that you recently got into new debt in order to So just I don't know what it is like in Jamaica.
Maybe it's totally different.
I also know in many countries, like Nigeria, for example, you buy the land first and then you actually build your home. So I don't know if it's like that in Jamaica. So what I would say is that in the United States, at least, there are classes that you can take, not so much for the car, but definitely
for home ownership. So see if I don't know if your local bank offers that I don't know how it works, and jam Rock right, like, if it's if there are classes that you could take to understand the process of like what it looks like to purchase a home and what some of those expenses might be.
So maybe I like to whatever.
I'm trying to the shift because to me, at your core, at the core of your question, it's like, how do I make decisions or how do I make decisions when I'm ready to go to the next level financially? And first things first, I like to ask myself what's the desired outcome for me? How do I see my life? How do I want it to go. I want to be in the house, I want to have this car, I want to whatever. And then to second is I like to gather information to reach out to friends and
family that own homes. Maybe I want to take a course or a class so I can start to frame my decision based upon what I want and to this additional information. And then three, there has to be a moment where you take the leap and say I'm committed to this, to this choice. But you're in a great position, So I just want to give you a round of applause, jam Rock for setting yourself up to get whatever it is that you want. There's no right or wrong however
you want to rock it out, rock it out. So if you do end up buying a home in Jamaica, I'm just saying me and Mandy, would you know.
To the beach? That's all I want to exactly right, because switch with my husband. His family lives in the middle of the island. Okay, Dominican Republic vacation.
But no beach, they say, Now we are a.
Whole separate vacation after this.
But Jamaica, hoes say, is one of the most beautiful islands. I've been like a couple of times. It is so gorgeous. And you know the people that be thinking I'm jamake it anyway with my lox or whatever, you know, So you just let me know I could.
I could blend right into family sidebar. You know who has the most incredible locks, Ava Duverne. Have you seen the images of her stunning looks.
She's just so beautiful.
I wonder how long. Yeah, it's stunning. Yeah, but thank you for your question. And just one last thing. One of those items, house or a car is an investment, is an investment. The other one typically not an investment. That's all. I'm just gonna say. It's fine. If you want to get the car, just know that you're buying a depreciating asset. The one exception is when we actually made money on our car by selling it during the pandemic.
But that's because of like crazy weird economics. It really happens rarely, rarely.
Yeah, must mind some classic car or something like that for a collectible.
But yeah, oh this is true, this is true. Oh but night drink in the whole can of worms that I am not prepared.
Now, let's just roll it on back in either way, yeah, bring, but let us know either way what you decide.
Yeah, all right, jam Rock, I love that name. I know it's not your name. Okay, So I'm gonna read the next question.
Well, we're gonna take a break, a busy breaks. We can pay some bills, slow all the way down your.
Time.
After eight years, I finally remember things too.
I love it. I need you great here.
All right, So we're gonna take a break, guys, and we'll be back and black and browner than ever.
Okay, b a fam, We are back after our break with our second question. This one is from anonymous and Tiffany has promised me it will be.
Messy, just a little messy, so we're gonna actually call you. Well, I feel like it's not fair because you're not messy, but I want a nice messy name.
Like what should we call like? So that way?
Mess of them all? Uh? All I can think about is Marjorie Taylor Green Right now in this moment, Cannon's gonen messy. It's all them kids?
What about wember Wendy Williams, what about we call it Wendy?
Okay, because we know you're not messy, but it's messy like around you know it's around it.
Okay, we can call you Wendy.
Okay, Okay, all right, Wendy says, I'm a big fan of the podcast. Keep doing a great job. I'm a single mom who recently went from making forty K to one hundred K, and I'm nice and I made the mistake of telling way too many people about my achievement, thinking that they would be happy. Oh this is a good one. Since then, I've had friends start counting my pockets.
One try to set me up on a date and snapchated the guy that he could use me and several have been asking or assuming they can have money now, or telling me how I should spend mine. What is the best idea to handle this scenario. My therapist said, I should tell them that I lied about how much I make, but I don't think that's realistic. Also, as someone who is used to being pretty poor, what advice do you have for a big increase in income? Okay? These are oh man, this makes me sad.
You know, Wendy, Wendy, wend.
Yeah, you listen. I think we you made you made an error. I think you really need to and I'm all about salary transparents. You don't get me wrong, but it has to be at the benefit of both people who were finding out. So you know, like, for example, if they can learn from you, you learn from them. I'm trying to help you get to the next level. There's an understanding that we're sharing compensation to Like I'm sorry,
I'm answering the question that I just asked Tiffany. I should have shut up and let.
You it's good, No, I continue.
Just stop.
Yeah, So, I feel like in this case, both people should be benefiting from this conversation. And when you tell just anybody what you make you are giving them. Yeah, you're giving them a piece of a data about yourself that can be used against you, and you don't know
how they're going to use it. And I'm really sorry that friends and family that you thought was it just friends or as a family to but you know, people in your circle that you thought would be excited for you, you're finding out the lesson that a lot of people do, which is that people have a hard time and they're humans, right, so you can't really blame them so much, but they have a hard time feeling excited because of the comparison
thing that they're immediately going to do to what they're earning, and because they may feel, you know, insecure about where they're at in their life, they may lash out and project and cause you problems because they can't stand they really don't like the idea that you're doing better than them. So, yeah, it's a good lesson for in salary transparency and all this talk that especially I do about you know, being
open about sharing your salary with other people. It's important because I think that that is how we can create a more equitable space. But do it with people who like there's a mutual benefit you know people in your industry, someone who you're trying to help level up, someone who's trying to help you level up, who's like a little bit more you know, advanced than you, someone who's you know, in the same space you are, and you're just trying to like, you know, get a sense of what to charge.
A good example is I just got invited by a brand to do an event, and I know a friend of mine also was invited, and I slid into her DMS to ask her how the negotiations went because I was having a you know, an interesting experience, and you know, she let me know how hers went. And yeah, it's just it's that's different. I'm not going to get a brand deal and then just like go tell everybody and you know how much I'm making off of this or that.
And the third end, yeah, it's people do not always have your best interests at Heartwindy.
Yeah.
And I'll say, like, one, I never thought about that that when you're sharing that was like a really good perspective that like does it benefit both people.
I never thought about that.
You know. One, I have to say, girl, this person to try to set you up to have this date, run your pockets I hope you block them expeditiously.
Yeah, is that like the girl who had her what are those ugly shoes? Would make your toes look like a ninja turtle?
And then the guy stole them and gave it to his girlfriend.
Yes, the guy stole the shoes on the date. That's like what like was he told, Hey, that girl's got these fancy shoes, you should ask her out, and then he like ripped her off and stole her shoes. Anyway, I'm just thinking, well, I.
Don't know them, well, I don't.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
I think she met him on Hinge in one of these dating amps, and you know, they went home and he was like, oh, my girl been talking about the ugly shoes and stole them, which is so the ghetto. I mean, first of all, though, I have questions about the girlfriend. If your man brings home these shoes, no box, no nothing like, sir, where did you get these from?
Yeah?
And then when he asked you for them back, you weren't like, bruh, what was happening?
And there's no little plastic tech connecting the marshals. When you get a great brand for less, I mean, no box.
We saw Wendy. We we so one that person that tried to set you up. I mean, I would hope there's no second. We're not we don't have to spend the block. Since it's done, we're not talking anymore. You're not my friend. That's terrible. Like you know, like, hey, date my friend. You can use them for money because she makes good money. It's one thing. Sometimes friends will certainly be like, ooh, this is my friend.
They have a good job. Da da dada. That's one thing.
But like you specifically said, she snapchatted them to say he could use you child, you know. And yeah, as far as because I'm like, I don't your therapists suggesting that you lie.
I'm like, girl, I don't know the damage.
I just don't know that. That's I'm not a therapist. So therapists. Maybe way in did we ever encourage people to lie? I guess so maybe for safety for sure, like you know, you have an abusive husband or something like that, certainly, But I just feel like this might be a good time to kind of like reset friendships because this is like, you know, there are certain things that like highlight who you really who you work with.
Basically and friends that are going to not respect the boundary and say, hey, honestly, it makes me feel uncomfortable when you X y Z. If a friend can't respect the new boundary that you're setting, then it's like, it's good, thank you for showing me, because I certainly, as my business has done better, it helped to reveal some people that when I was a preschool teacher, it was all good and as I did better, even just from when I moved to the Halfway Hood when I was living
in you know, like with Jarell and like the Halfway Hood versus when I bought my house, you know, like the difference when people came over and the look on their faces. There are people who literally just stopped coming over. And I just remember being like, oh, but I didn't mind it because it was like better to know that, you know that we're not aligned, you know, and not because I'm making more but something you know, You're just
we're just not aligned anymore. So I don't know about lying, but certainly setting new boundaries with the people in your life and they don't respect those boundaries, you know, realigning with other people who do. And so let's talk about the money part. Though, which is the exciting part. First of all, girls, do we even take congratulations because that's.
Huge relations Oh yeah, I mean you double.
Just downis I hope you like that's it.
I can understand why you want to tell the world because it's like that's incredible, that's life changing.
For you and your baby.
Yeah, you know. So.
One, I hope you are maxing out your retirement accounts because you ain't had that money before, you know, so you have the opportunity to max out your retirement accounts, you know. So One, I would like make make that my focus. I'm going to max have retirement accounts. Two I would be thinking about what does it look like as far as, like, you know, maybe increasing what I'm putting toward debt. Three I would be setting aside for a cost of living increase, but not I'm making forty,
I'm living at this now, I'm making a hundred. I'm living at a hundred. It's I'm living at minus my retirement account max out minus increasing a little bit what I put toward debt minus increasing savings. When that's all said and done, then I can do a cost of life increase. So maybe it looks more like you're living at like sixty now instead of forty certainly not one hundred, if that makes sense.
Also I would I.
Wouldn't ain't gonna let you do that.
But you know what I like first and foremost, whatever like big money comes in, I always have like, okay, what is retirement?
What is debt? I don't have any deb anymore, but at the time, what is debt? What is savings?
Once those are then if there's money, as there's money left over, then then I use that as like.
How can I make my life better?
And I think if you think about it that way, it'll allow you to always live relatively safely below your means, but in a way that you still get to enjoy a better life, but one that you can maintain, you know. So that's what I would be thinking about. But yes, congratulations, Like that's amazing.
And I don't want your friend's reaction to take away from yeah, that feeling of I did this for me and my child because as a single mom, Like thanks for reminding me I forgot you was a single mom. Yes, that is life changing and I hope that And also, you know the thing about knowing someone's salary without any context is like one hundred k where because one hundred
k in New York. I'm sorry, even if you're by your like if you're a dual income you're making a hundred or you're by yourself, you're not living large, no, like your paycheck to paycheck. Yes, it's just true, you know. That's that's the sad truth about a lot of places. And it's not just New York, you know, even in Atlanta. I feel like that would be tough or Charlotte or anyway.
So I'm just saying without context. So that's another reason to keep you know, your salary private, not telling everyone is because without any context for your lifestyle, the cost of what it takes. Listen, childcare alone can shout out that paycheck real quick, real quick. And I wouldn't be surprised if you were, Like I would put my baby in a better daycare and all of a sudden, where
the money go? Where my sixty thousand dollars rates go? Yeah, So anyway, you don't want to trust people who don't who don't who can't think of money and understand it like that With that information, yeah, I'm excited for you.
And I was just gonna say that the one of the most powerful things I did back when I had more of a predictable income with my you know, my my bi weekly paycheck and stuff, is I automated everything, like Tiff was saying, like I automated my retirement, automated my how much was going to go to savings because I knew what I was going to make every two weeks, automated what went where, and then everything that hit my checking account, I knew I could spend it, and it
made me. It made it so much simpler that way, and for you too, so I but I just made sure that I had set aside the money for savings and long term things before all that, because you should be able to enjoy and spend the money that you earn in the way that you want to.
It's like a way that it doesn't make you feel because when you do that, when Mandy said it like, oh my gosh, the money that's in my checking kid, No, no, no, because guess what retirement funded debt being paid off?
Saving save this money? It's my money.
So like then it feels really good that you can actually enjoy the money versus like wondering. So yes, add automation to that mix of those three things. If you do those things, yeah, and honestly you're just gonna you know, like it's different. Like like you said friends, you didn't say family, because sometimes it's hard as your mom, your dad,
it's it's hard. But Frand's child. No, like you know, like I'm not saying that you can't lend friends money here and there, but a lesson that my friend Cabrel did teach me if you are thinking about lending from here and there, because you might have a friend that you're like, she was there for me.
I want to be there for her.
The first thing he always asked me when I'm like something such just such asked me to borrow money. I remember one time he asked me, will it solve the problem, Tiffany. So, for example, one time somebody was like, Hey, I'm late and behind on my mortgage. Can you loan me, say, like seven hundred dollars? So and I said, in my head, I asked, because I thought to myself, will it solve the problem? Meaning like if I give you this seven
hundred dollars this month, like what happens next month? And I said that, like, so I know you don't have your mortgage money for mortgage because you don't have a.
Job right now. So what happens next month? Oh, I don't know.
I'm gonna have to think about the next month. Well, then that means this money doesn't all the problem. That means we're throwing seven hundred dollars into a hole for
a house that you're likely to use money gone. Now it's another thing if you're like, hey, Tiffany, you know, like I want to borrow money because I have a thousand dollars left to pay a down pay off my car and then I'm car note free and I'll be able to pay you back incrementally, you know, the three months I used to pay my car note.
That solves the problem because it's like you purchase the car. The car is purchased, it belongs to you.
You can pay me two hundred bucks a month until you're paid off in five months with me. So I think about that always that like you don't ever have to land. But if I do even consider lending, I always ask myself, will this solve the problem or is this just the delay and I'm throwing good money after something bad? You know, So just keep that in mind too, as your friends kind of dig in your pockets.
But in your case, protect yourself and your and your child. That's that's good money. But not give money to everybody who you know is going to ask you for They may think that you have money, but you have to
be firm in knowing what your goals are. And I think it's even more important important to protect yourself so that everything is paid first, Like you pay yourself, you save for retirement, for everything that you need long term, and then with your leftover money if you want to give them away or whatever, fine, but get clear on like what is gonna bring value to you, enjoy for you and your child. And I would spend money there first.
Yeah, absolutely, well girl, Wendy girl, child the ghetto, not even trying to set you up.
I don't even fight and I want to throw hands to use me use for what can you imagine? Mayby, have you ever been in a physical fight.
With someone not my brothers or some now.
Like you're like you know, like a like a at school or whatever, So.
You want to Yeah, when I was in like I used to have to defend my little brother. You guys met him on a couple of podcasts. Good he has a big mouth. He always has, so I used to fight his battles for him until I learned to use my whiplash.
Really, I can't my saber toothed girl because we don't have hands.
I don't have hands like I yea.
I definitely. That was like in elementary school, I thought like little boys in the playground who would tease me?
Man, he was like, it's what's up?
It was? It was it was like Lord of the Flies at my house sometimes on a vacation. Okay, so but now no.
No, of course, not now.
But I'm just thinking of it because I've never like outside of like my sisters, of course, because you know, you're just tussling.
But I was like, you know, I was never a fighter. I was I'm not gonna lie. I was a big scaredy caid. So I'm talking about I'm gonna throw hands, girl aware in the air, like they don't care, like I don't. I am the biggest of punks. Okay.
So I'm like I used to my best friend Veronica was half my size. She was like five zero, and like I'm like, let me go get Veronica because y'all play with me.
And so my little brother till my big sister, here's what you said.
No, but I love that. I just was curious. I'm like, does May did maybe ever tussle in her youth? In her youth.
Charge your book?
I don't want to that. What that means is, see, I'm gonna talk big talk now because y'all don't know. I don't fight that. What that means is don't roll up on riding bishing in the streets. Okay, that's what that means, because you know I don't have hands but I will call the police. And you know, Mandy, my resurrec you know handsy, Mandra.
I'll tell you at the time I attacked the little kid with fire ants for my little brothers uh, for my little brother, yeah, because he can't for my little brother. You know who you are, And I'm sorry. That was not nice for me to put your backpack in a fire ant. Hell, if you're from Georgia, these New Yorkers, you don't know about fire ants up here, Yo, that could have got me some prison time. I feel like if I was an adult, that's assault.
Anyway. We'll see you guys next week. B a q A, Okay, bye, y'all.