And now it's time for the b a q a, the b a q a, the b a q a. Now with time, I really think that somebody should like gift us a b a q a songs. I feel like, you know, like I feel like, can't you hear like a heavy bass?
Did I imagine it? Or do you actually have a theme song for some of your ig lives?
And honestly, and the people but Chris, oh my goodness, and his wife Sheila, Oh, Chris and Shaila, they're amazing. First of all, why do they like produce music with like John Legend and stuff.
I'm like, wait what?
So they were like, Tiffany, you helped us on our financial journey. We were able to get our house as a result to you, so we want to gift you this song. So they created a song called The Budget Needs to break Down and it is so jazzy. If you guys go to my Instagram, like once a week, I post like this like short video where I break down like a topic or whatever, and it's called the Budget Needs to break Down and it opens up. It's like, it sounds so amazing. It's like, welcome to your wealthy place.
This is where you belong.
I can't say, but it's just like it's so jazzy. But if anybody else got a little jazzy in their soul and they want to gift us a baqa song, me and manager say yes, ma'am, we'll take it.
So with that being said.
I mean, if they want to hook us up, they can. They can feel free if anyone else out there wants to take be a Qa and turn it into a jingle, although Tiffany I cannot, we did, once upon a time have some unsolicited submissions of podcast artwork that shall never be shared, so you know, don't you know? We will have editorial approval over any approach. Is not a boy, I don't know everybody. It's just like the aesthetic. It's just maybe our aesthetic is not y'all's aesthetic. But all
all is good. Well, what do we have on the dot cut for this week's of this week's be a Q and a Tip?
So first on a docket, we've got an anonymous submission like my fiance and I have been binge watching Marriage or Mortgage on Netflix. Basically, just like the title says, couples meet with a wedding planner and a real estate agent simultaneously, each person is trying to win them over. Then at the end of the episode, the couples decide what they're going to do with their money as someone who is newly engaged. Is it crazy or possible to
have both? I fully understand that the average wedding costs thirty thousand dollars. As of right now, we're renting and we just signed for our third year here. Do you have any tips on how to save now for either choice? Also, we would like to have our first home be a multi family unit duplex. We want to use it for family also an extra source of income. Does that change anything?
Thanks?
Ladies.
Oh man, this actually is so cute and timely because if you go back to Wednesday's episode when we share our first ever BA episode from the archive, I was just about to be engaged later that year, and I was in full saving for the wedding mode, even before I had a ring on this finger.
Okay, I gotta do girl, please me too.
You know I wasn't. I was not. The savings account was not named Husbie and my say wedding fund. It was just Mandy's wedding fund. Okay, because you know I wanted to get married. I just didn't know at the time. It didn't matter to whom. I just wanted to be ready. Yeah, and I have you heard of the show Marriage or Mortgage on Netflix.
I've heard of it. I have not watched it, but I've heard it.
I watched one little episode and it kind of it just made me cranky because this person asks. I know they want to be anonymous, but they ask, is it crazy or possible to have both? No, it's not. It is not crazy. You can definitely have both. I mean, yeah, absolutely, and I did both. I had I had the wedding. I spent thirty k on a wedding and I were around about that much. And we saved a lot by living with my husband's parents for how long do we live with them? Like five or six months? I survived
that ordeal. You know. Actually I actually wrote about this in that CNBC article, so I did the math for myself. We saved about eleven thousand dollars by living with them, and we were able to. And the thing was, I was we moved in with my with his parents when I was earning the most I've ever earned in my career, Like I was earning well over six figures, had equity all this stuff, and that is when I was like,
this is it. This is the moment when you decide are you going to let lifestyle lifestyle inflation creep on you and steal your wealth or are you going to make the unpopular decision and down size. And that is what he and I decided to do. And it wasn't easy, but we knew you wanted to have money in the bank for a wedding and a mortgage down the line.
And yeah, we got married in twenty seventeen and had a house in twenty eighteen, and I just wanted to share that because just to illustrate that, yeah, you can have both, but you may have to sacrifice some things to get there.
Yeah, and I'll say this too, that so I opted not to have a wedding, not because we couldn't afford it.
I just honestly I didn't want one.
But instead we ended up purchasing our house and we bought a cash you know, because we had the excess funds in order to do so. There is no right or wrong. It's up to you for what you want to do. But to answer your question about tips of how to save now for either choice, I say both if you're able. So one, you want to identify what's your saving school. So I know the average wedding costs thirty thousand, but what do you want to spend. Do you want to spend twenty do you want to spend forty?
What is that?
And then two, have you started to scope out multi family homes to see how much that costs? So you can start to identify what is our down payment going to look like? Have you taken a first time home buyer course? I highly recommend it was so helpful before about my first home because then I learned like, oh, I don't necessarily have to save for twenty percent down.
You know, I might go for an fah loan, which is a loan that's backed by the government, and so I only had to put three point five percent down, you know, So do the math. Take a first time home buyer's course, and so that way at least you can kind of map out. Okay, all in all, we need to say fifty thousand dollars In the next Let's pretend you're getting married in two years because you didn't share, right, and so you can split that and say, okay, what
is fifty thousand dollars divided by twenty four months. How much do we need to start saving now in order to get to our goal? So, like, ultimately, any goal can be reached as long as you want identify what the goal is and start to break down the steps to get there. Is it Is it like Mandra moving in with your in laws or your parents, you know? Is it asking for a raise at work? Is it side hustle so you can make additional money on the
side and stash it away. One thing my sister, one of my sisters, did, Carol that you always, guys are always asking to come on brodn ambition.
Is that she girl, that's because.
You keep pelling the same anecdote. Yes, she bought ten people want her on the show.
Yes, she bought Tesla.
Yes, because my sister Carol's an engineer, and so she was telling us about these electric, crazy electric cars. I was like, sounds crazy to me, and she was like, no, I'm buying Tesla, you know, and like I just think it's just a really great investment. She bought Tesla when it was like something crazy, like under one hundred dollars a share, and so she sold some of it in
order to pay she was able to. I can't remember how much she put in, but you know she had tens of thousands of dollars and she sold some of it in order to pay for her wedding. Her and her fiance both invested and sold some of their shares to pay for the wedding. So there are a myriad of ways, but it starts with identifying your goal, how much that goal is going to cost you, so you can walk toward that goal, and when do you need the money buy?
Yeah, I'm sitting here thinking about why that show a marriage or mortgage kind of gets on my nerves, or it got on my nerves when I was watching it. It's also the idea that those two things are super comparable. I mean, one, it just depends on your values as a couple and where you're at in your life. But if that show was called, you know, marriage or dream rental, there'd be nothing wrong with it, Like you don't have
to buy a mortgage, that is not it. I am as shocked as anyone that my life has followed such a conventional linear path. Okay, first comes love, then comes baby, then you know all that thing and the marriage and the mortgage. I did it all in the right and like the quote unquote right way. And I'm so annoyed at myself because I'm supposed to be like rebel progressive,
you know, non traditional feminist lady. But that's just how life worked out for me, you know, it wasn't It was just a super traditional kind of one step after the next. It just it just worked out that way. But that is not at all the way that your
story has to go. And I just don't want anyone to feel like they're doing something wrong if they get married and they put off the wedding and they stay renting for a while, Like, you don't have to let anyone else's labels or expectations divert you from your goals. But what Tiffany said is so smart, because being clear on what you want and why you want it is
what's going to help you make decisions. Or at the end of the day, I can say without an ounce of regret that I spent as much as I spent on my wedding, that I bought the house that I bought because I did it with our goals and a shared desire for those things, and it made me so happy. Yeah, no regrets, no regrets, right, So, I mean you may have regrets for things that are outside of your control.
But if you go into a decision with your partner knowing that it's what you guys want as a couple and that you will both be happy working toward this goal together as a partner, then ultimately what will be will will be, and you can never regret having made that decision because you knew it was what was right for you too.
To start with, that's very good.
I'm so wise.
Six years later, we've got a second one.
I don't realize I have one earring in my ear? Why didn't no one tell me? I didn't notice, y'all. I am a mess. Oh my god. Okay, go ahead, now we got it. We gotta just felt it, danglin.
A message from a beautiful prego lady. What does she have to say, Mandy, a.
Beautiful prego lady. Yeah, she said no. Wait, oh, she signs it pregnant and confused. Listen, any woman who's pregnant is also a little confused. What is happening down there? All right? This is an interesting, interesting question, and I want to do it justice to let me read this soul slope. Pregnant and confused, says, I got a new job at a fitness startup and I have been here for two months. The thing is, I was when I was hired, and I just informed my boss of this
last week. I will only have been at the company for six months when my baby is due. However, the company offers a six month maternity leave as part of its benefits package. I am not sure whether I should take the full maternity leave or cut it short due to my newness at the company. On the one hand, it would be time where I get to be dedicated to the new baby and can prolong having to find and pay for childcare. I already have a two year old and we do have to foot the bill for
his childcare costs already. Plus being a new mom is hard and it'd be nice to have the full six months. On the other hand, it's that much longer being away from work, not being able to show what I'm capable of, and having my projects be taken on by someone else. Having been through this once already, there's always that little voice in my head going, what if they figure out they don't need me. My last company had a horrible maternity leave policy where I was unpaid outside of insurance and back.
At work after eight weeks.
Part of me is extremely tempted to take advantage of the great benefits of my new come company, but another part of me wonders if it's worth it to take the career head. What should I do? Any and all advice is.
Appreciated, Oh pregnant and confused.
First of all, I'm just pissed that you even have to be in this position where you're like I was, just me, I bring life, stop being is this world beautiful?
Life into this world?
Or like your career, like you know, it just sucks that like men don't have to like contemplate, like you know, if I bring life into this world the whole reason why we're here in existence, then maybe I'm not going to be advanced in my career.
That sucks.
So let's just put that out there. I'm just trying to think to myself as an employer. So we actually have we have a new Unicorn niece, So I call my team the Unicorn Squad and.
Tamra shout out to you. Miss Tamra.
She is the manager of our literature academy, and she gave us a new niece. It's my third baby. So Tamora has been on raternityly twice since she's worked with me, and I think she's.
Been here four or five years.
And it depends on the company obviously, you know, tam is able to take as much time as she needs. She has prepared her team to give them all the things that they needed to be able to move, you know, move forward without her being here on a day to day basis. Would I feel some kind of way if six months it honestly, it really would depend on was that person here when they were here, you know. So it's almost like it's not even about the it's maternity.
Let's just say it's vacation. You're gone for two weeks or whatever. And ultimately, if you bring value of what I call illustrating your OPRAH, if you bring value to the workplace, then you know, if the company is fair, then they will see your value either way. So illustrating
your OPRAH. This is what I tell my team and my mentees and things all the time, is that when you illustrate your OPRAH, you make your value so undeniable that like if someone if Oprah said, hey, you want me to come speak at you event, it's going to be twenty thousand dollars. People would find the money even if they normally wouldn't because you're like, no, the value that Oprah brings to the table is so valuable. Even though twenty thousand is out of my range, I'm going
to find it. And so, like, illustrating your Oprah just means going above and beyond, like you know, bringing all your genius and excellence to work, you know, making sure that you know when you're working on something, the buck stops with you, Like you're not passing along responsibility to others when when you know, when the responsibility is yours.
You know.
So when I look at Tam, like, you know, if she was gone for eight months, I would want her back because she is Oprah, you know, she the value that she brings to the table is not diminished because she's been gone for however many months the Tam is taking for maternity leave because I also know that the team is running so smoothly as a result of her excellence, like she planned to make sure that everyone was going
to be good. And yeah, so I say, you know, not things more important than life and family, nothing, even if that does mean you take a hit professionally, which is not fair. But I think if you illustrate your oprah and your company is as good as you say that it is, then you should hopefully be fine.
Yeah. First and foremost, you are completely within your right to not tell your employer when you're interviewing if you're pregnant or not. You can walk in there nine months pregnant and they can't say a damn thing. Now, they can choose to penalize you for that by not hiring you, but that's illegal, so they better not say that out loud. So you've been hired, and now you've told your boss
that you are pregnant. Let's talk about this six month maternity leave policy, and let's compare it to that horrible leave policy that you had at your previous job where you said that you were back at work after eight weeks.
First of all, I just hate that this country is a first world country, as I say, which I know we're not supposed to say anymore, but we are a rich nation, okay, and we spend so much money on so many things, and one of them is not actually mandating paid maternity leave or parental leave for families, which is just outrageous to me even now, because it puts women like you in this position where you feel like you need to put your career in front of your
family's best needs, and it is just like it pisses me off to no end. But here's what I want to say. I don't want you to take the mistreatment or the poor treatment and you received it your last job, and let that talk you out of the incredible value that this new company is offering you. They are offering you an incredible opportunity. One that I will say is a recruitment incentive that they have because they want to
retain and recruit talent like you. They want people, potential employees to know that they value This is what they're telling you with this policy. We value families, We value the work of being a parent. We want to make sure that you have plenty of time with your family so that you can be there for them in those early crucial months. I would love to have had six months off with little boy. Wait, little boy? What I
would love to have six months off with Rio? I guess I just spent a week with my mom and she anyway, and you know I only got like twelve weeks and this is this is amazing. I mean, you should take full one hundred percent, without a drop of guilt or fear, take full advantage of this incredible policy.
I think you were so wise to jump ship. And I think other employers, especially your previous employer, they should be terrified and watching these companies at how they're able to snatch amazing talent away from each other because they offer these more generous parental leaf policies. So yeah, I a thousand percent think you don't need to think. I mean, I hate that you're thinking twice about it, but just stop. Take your six months off, enjoy it in enjoy it,
do the job that you were hired to do. While you were there. You've given them your not you've given them notice of your you know, your amazing news of being pregnant again. So, like Tiffany said, now you can help them prepare for when you're not going to be there. And any smart company with any proper planning and proper management would already be planning for cases when employees may
need to be gone. Whether it's for yes, parental leave, but it could be an illness, it could be needing to leave to take care of their mental health, like other situations may occur when you may need to leave your job, right, And companies they just shoot themselves in the foot if they do not properly plan for it, and then they try to penalize employees for their own
lack of planning and poor management. Right, Like, why am I feeling guilty for taking advantage of the policy the time off that you gave me when it's only because you know you don't feel like you're prepared to keep the ship running without me. And yeah, so I think pregnant and confused, you should, like Tiffany said, step up and help them, you know, make sure it's all smooth
while you're on your maternity leave. But at the end of the day, it's it's it's your management's responsibility to create processes and systems that are put in place so that anyone other team feels like they can be a human when they need to be a human and take time off for their family, for their health, whatever it
may be. And I hope, I hope that you if were listening to this, and I hope that you are going into this decision feeling much more confident because you have every every right to be taking this time off and I if you feel like you're penalized when you come back, then I don't know. It sounds like you got lost in your hands because there's no there's just no rationale. Like they offer you the perk, take the perk.
Mm hm, can you tell him?
I a little passionate about that.
Yeah, no, that's just a tiny bit. Just remember you looking good? It's Opus bank account.
Wait what you look in good? Like OPA's bank account.
Yeah, this is a song. Okay, oh manday.
I feel like if I say a little YACHTI, you guys are like you guys said his name wrong.
Look, I'm forty one.
Okay, Look, I'm just I can't get down. I get down low key, high key whatever. Keys, y'all are in. You're looking good?
Well, I just gave my son the moniker a little boy, and I don't even know where that came from. So hey, that sounds terrible. Little YACHTI okay, I'll check him out.
Yeah that so a little vulgar. You might not. That's the only part I can sing.
That's okay, okay, so make sure you do it in confused, you can check out little Yachty too on your maternity leave your six months of it. Enjoy it, girl, and shout it from the rooftop so that other people know this amazing company offers that kind of policy, because this is what we need until this country gets its act together and makes a friends to leave paid.
Well.
I hope you guys enjoyed are brown b a q A. So I mean I did it on the empty stomach, Mandy. So remember before our chat, I.
Was like, She's like, I did it. I did the thing. Someone out they sold my my uber eats eat and I was like, you know what, that's.
Okay the violation of one of the ten commandments, Like isn't it one of the not especially if I can.
See you an app on your way here and then see you say nah. I was like no. And then I was like, you know, I'm going to order for my other favorite restaurant. They're like, oh no, we're not open right now because we open it in half an hour. And I was like, oh man, I got to take the podcast. So I messaged my sister. I was like, it's okay, order for my other favorite restaurant. Just found out there not open, not on Tuesdays, so it's been all day almost.
When you got to like suck it up and get you like a Mickey D's or a Subway sandwich and just say today is not the day to be bouge go.
I just it's it's clear something does not want me to eat. You know what, if I'm not spelt after this day of fasting, that's what you're doing.
It's intermittent fast that's what it is.
But no, I don't thaged now barely, but honestly, I'm still I'm still in good spirit. So if you guys have questions, please please please go to Browne Vision podcast dot com click ask us anything. We love answering your questions. We try to get at least two or three in you know on our b a q WA Fridays. You know, you could always hit us up on Twitter and Instagram as well if you've got questions and me and Mandy are here for you.
I'm here for you.
I also know that love. Yes, thank y'all for listening. See y'all.
Yes bye