It's time for the b a q a a b a q a What to say to a q a man the b a q with tippin day to b a q a a. I have not been able to say manday and tipping day a law, but I will say somehow the universe worked it out that everybody's name rhymed. I was a look at that.
I mean, it rhymes the regular way you pronounce it, and it rhymes the incorrect way that you pronounce.
Its dancery up in here we just gonna make up right.
Okay, shout out to Mary j Okay b a fan. We are here for your questions. Remember, bring out yourself shakers, shake them up because we are not your best you know accountants. We are not your best financial advisors, were your best brown ambition pals in your head. Okay, So we're giving you some light advice, some guidance, some id is, but don't come for us and sue us. Okay, so take everything with some grains of salt. But if you want to submit a question to the show, you know
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Tiff Well, I someone slim into my personal DMS as a Budjanista, which I welcome you, but ideally signed to to BA the bisson DM. So Liz asked a question. She said, Hey, girl, girls, what are your thoughts on one buying a property with a domestic partner? What are the legal implication.
Domestic partner? So the term domestic partner to me, my first question is like does it vary by state what
rights you may have as a domestic partner. Yeah, so my first question or my first thing is I would check with your state what rights does that domestic partner have in terms of if the relationship goes sideways to whatever property you guys obtain, you know, during your relationship, because if you're an official domestic partnership, which used to be a thing, especially for same sex couples, that used to be the only way you could be partnered, you
know legally. Now gay marriage is legal. So yeah, that's my first question. What else should they consider it? TIF?
Honestly, like you should consider obviously you want to consider like your finances like child how like what's the down payment? Looking? Like how we pay the mortgage? You want to flush out all these things ahead of time, like what is everybody's credit score? What happens if somebody can't afford their payment? How much debt do you both like both feel comfortable taking out? Like to me, those are probably the things
you're probably already thinking about. But even still, like because you're unmarried, you might have to apply for the mortgage separately, like you know, like because they're it depends on your state. Your state might have something where you can apply as a domestic partner. But like so I'll give you example.
Although Darrell and I were married when we we bought the house that Terrell has now since brought for me, But because we brought it from the city, they said only one of us for whatever reason, there was a tax lean or tax deed, only one of us could be on the deed, like could purchase the property. They didn't allow two people, which was weird even though we were married. And as a result of us doing that, I forgot to add myself to the d later and then when he passed away, it was a struggle like
it is my property, you know, along with alyssa. But still you know, so that's something too, like okay, how if you're asking about the legal part, like if one person has to apply, how are you going to choose ownership? That's probably the most important there are. There are different types of ownership options for unmarried couple, like I'm just
looking it up real quick. One is called joint tenancy, and so that's where there's multiple owners and they own they own an equal will share in the home, and so it just means they all have equal rights to the property and there's right to survivorship. So that way, if one owner passes away, their home is transferred to the other. So joint tenancy is one. There's tenancy in common.
This is the second one. This is when each person that this is the type of ownership where each person on the deed owns a specific percentage of the home. And so say for example, you and your your domestic partner, you put down more money than them, and you kind of feel like, well, I put that like seventy percent, So I want to own seventy percent of the home
and I'm paying seventy percent of the mortgage. So with tenancy, a common you can say you own thirty percent, I own seventy percent, but then too they can still this. This ownership is not automatically transferred if somebody passes away, so you just have to be mindful of that, Like what will happen to your partner if something happens to you? And go ahead real quick?
So where would you like what professional would it be? A real estate attorney? You would draft up like an ownership agreement? Because I remember I researched this for an article I wrote like probably a decade ago for y'allhoo finance, for how to buy a house with friends, because my friends and I were seriously we were so cute and thinking about buying a home all together. We're going to be friends forever.
What are their names?
Anyway, just kidding and anyway, so I wrote it was it was fascinating, but like I think at the time, it was, you know, get with a real estate attorney and at least draft up like a legal document so that you guys have everything written now, same as you and I sort of as a partnership, we wrote we wrote up our ownership agreement. We are a fifty to fifty partners here's what happens if so and so wants to leave, et cetera. But something similar for a domestic partnership as well.
My absolutely, and especially if you're going to choose something like one of these ones and the last one is just sole ownership with one person owns and then but obviously that's not as ideal because it's like if you're not on the deed, but if you're not helping to pay expenses, maybe they're just kind of like living with you. But to Mandy's point, it's so important to sign. It's
called a cohabitation agreement property agreement. Yeah, like what we're gonna do we're living together, and it just you want to think about everything, like you want to play out the scenarios, like what happens if you pass away, how will you sell it? If you decide to sell, who's paying the mortgage, who's responsible for what? Can you rent out your room? You want to think about all these things and you sit down with an attorney to create
this agreement. And my one of my attorneys, orensea Ouga, shout out to you, hey, are he listens?
Sometimes.
I remember when I was doing my partnership agreement with my partner, at the time. My business partner Jabrill, he was like, it is ideal to create these partnerships when things are great, because one day, one day they might
not be. And when they're not, you know, it's going to be very difficult to find like a common ground and then you're gonna have to do what the agreement said, and so you want to dig into the nitty gritty of it all if you decide to do that that way, if something does happen you break up, it's like, well, the agreement says I take half. You can pull out the equity and give me half. You can sell whatever
that looks like. Because sometimes like even in business, it's like if we break up, you have to sell the company. That could be in your agreement, but you want to agree to that ahead of time, so you know, it's a little more complicated, but it's not impossible. People aren't doing it, but you want to make sure you do it in a way that you think of. Unfortunately, if something doesn't work out, this is what we're gonna do.
Yeah, for sure, I.
Know you're married, but would you ever consider like purchasing, like could you see yourself personally home with like you.
Know, it's someone I wasn't. Yeah, I mean, I think domestic partnership is basically like we are a partner, like marriage is, I don't know, more biblical whatever. I feel like it's similar in terms of the commitment to one another. So yeah, absolutely, and I think that, you know, I've got a relative of mine who built a house and was you know, in their late twenties early thirties, and had a girlfriend, and together they decided that, you know, she wasn't going to be put on the mortgage. He
did that himself. There was a big disparity in income, and also the way that he was paying for it was just kind of like messy, and they were all it took a long time to build the house, so the relationship was also like maturing. You know. They weren't talking about marriage yet or things like that, but they wanted to live together. So for now, she's not going to be listed on the mortgage, even though she's paying
effectively rent paying part of the mortgage. However, they are discussing, like, you know, we're going to keep tabs of how much she's putting in and then determine some sort of like ownership stake that she'll have and then that'll you know, they can do that later. And I think for her own protection, especially if there's like an income disparity, I think it's only fair. You know, she's contributing and she's
your partners, so they should. I think, if you have an income disparity, just don't be afraid to advocate for yourself and research what your options are so that if something goes sideways, you're not out in the cold with nothing to show for what you've invested or what you've poured into making that home a home.
Yeah, So that sounds like the tendency in common, Like if one purchase and praise more, it's like you can literally say, okay, according to this, you know, twenty percent of the home is yours. Yeah, exactly. A results if we break up, you know, there's two options. We can sell and give you twenty percent, or I can just pull on equity and give you twenty percent. You know, like, so that's okay, that's good.
Exactly exactly. We'll find out. I'm ready to buy another property's care, but I'm emotionally tied to this one. I don't know if I want to sell it or just front it out. I think this would be a great rental property.
Yeah, your house is great.
So we'll see. But I'm itching. My husband's itching for a rolex and I'm itching for a property. We'll see who wins.
We didn't have a talk about girl. I have gone down the thing watch lane. You know me, I like some random like learnings, you know, okay, yeah, and so like I don't know, I just watched like random YouTube like documentaries about random things like hmm, the effects of
plastic surgery on the healthcare. You know, like literally, I'll just say say, lately, there's like I didn't really understand watch culture for men because the last thing that I just wore the deep down rabbit hole about was luxury handbags for like, you know, women, and like you know how Burkin bags could be like fifty thousand miles sixty some crazy amount, ten thousand whatever, and so just learning about that and I was like wow, And even how
Ermaz who makes burk and bags and Kellyes and things like that, that they have their marketing is top tier. If I tell you, oh, child, that do you know that in order to be offered to buy a bag for many people, you have to pre buy other Chotskis for thousands of dollars before they keep making even an offer for a bag that might not even be exactly what you want. You might you might go to Urmas and say I'm going to buy a scar for four hundred dollars and I'm to put my name down for like, hey,
I'm now a new or Mess customer. And ideally, if a if a black Burken bag with gold hardware comes on the market, I'd love to be offered. And they're like, we'll see what else did you buy? You know, and so like a million of my niece like whenever I do havething nice for her, she go, that's nice and what else? And so her message like that, it's like, oh I bought a scarf and what else? And I
bought a card holder and what else? And I bought so, you know, you rack up your bills and then they're like, Mandy, lucky, you booboo. Your bad came in. You're like, oh my god, my black Burken with the gold hardware. No, you're Black Burken with the palladium hardware. You're like close enough here, fifteen thousand dollars. Can you imagine?
It? Sounds like how Enrique described the Rolex business. To me, that's the gid in line to get the honor. That's why the secondhand market is so popping, Like.
Yes, So I was like so I didn't know because I was like, how silly. And then I've gone down the rabbit hole of like the luxury watches, and it's the same. I said, you know these men, you know I'm not a luxury handbag girl, but these men will all talk about you women wasting your money on luxury handbags. Look how they got you. And the watch market is literally the same. You have to buy this, this and this,
and maybe you get offered and maybe it's crazy. I didn't know how much power like it's the same as the bag thousands, Like oh.
Down payment on a house, that's what I mean. So we gonna see who wins because the lady, we know, can I stretch out in that Can I tuck myself into that well? That put a roof over my children's head?
Oh my God.
For me and my my dreams.
Maybe said that's what we gonna see who wins. It's just like how long before I win? How long before we're both gonna win? He's gonna get the Rolex I'm going to get the next house and an income property. It's just a matter of like who's gonna get it first.
You know what I'm saying, That's all. What I've said so far is that I've I've manipulated this situation so that I've got him thinking anytime that we don't order out for dinner, he can put fifty bucks into his rolex savings account, which is helping me because homeboy needs to cook more and I'm sick of ordering out all the time. It's expensive, like seventy you were talking about tipping culture anyway, So I've got him saving more.
Oh look at that. See you are use a real wife, girl, because.
He goes toward the rolex were a downpat you.
Fell it, my mama. You know you can tell you've been married for a while because like at the beginning, you know, when you're a new wife, you just be fussing like when you're old gee wife, You're like, how about this? How about every time girl look at me and be wifing it down.
He's like, Wow, she really values what I value and she really respects my watch lug.
It's like, chah, okay, just put that fifty hours up.
So you can put whatever name you want on that ally savings account. Baby, money is money. Okay, to take a break in dow the next question. Okay, I was quite a tangent. I love it though. All right, BF will be right back with another one of your juicy questions. Okay, BA family are back with our second incredible question from one of our listeners. Actually a Mandy moneymaker who wants to remain anonymous, but slid into my email. So I got you.
And then moneymaker. Let's call her.
Hmm, let's just you always put me on the spot. Let's call her No, okay, because I'm like, let's her names? So I was looking at right, No, but guess.
Too obvious girl like. Let her name is Tippy. Let's go her tip like girl out her boss. It's you ful, so Emani come that part. I'm af lose her whole job. All right, Let's call her marabel Ooh Marabelle.
A little yeah, it's a little incanto action here, all right, Marrabelle says Mandy. Thank you for your awesome scripts that have been I think use as a guideline to ask for a raise. Unfortunately, I received word from the manager today that my request has been denied. Let me give you a little backstory. I'm a licensed practical nurse with a total medical professional background of over twenty years. I climb the educational ladder and work the subsequent jobs on
the way up. I work in Virginia and I'm about thirty to forty five minutes away from the city of Virginia Beach. I'm forty eight years old, which puts me closer to my retirement years, and my one and only child just turned twenty one two weeks ago and is no longer at home. So my current career goal is to finish my bachelor's in Health science degree, but I don't know what I want to do with it just yet.
I know the degree will allow me to stay in the medical field, but not necessarily tied down to just nursing. I have a strong desire to go into travel nursing, which will definitely increase my earnings potential. Something's holding me back, and I can't bring myself to quit the job I have and leave home. I've been with the company for ten years. I enjoyed my job just seventy five percent of the time. Stability is very important to me, and I don't want to have regrets thinking I should have
stayed where I was at. As you can see, I didn't mention any other family. Both my parents have passed away and I'm divorced. This sounds like a really good email for brand ambition, Q and A. And I don't mind if you want to share it there, but keep me anonymous. I got you, Mariveelle, Okay, But I was fascinated by this question one because the trohole travel nursing
thing became so lucrative. Maybe it always has been lucrative, but especially during the pandemic, A lot of medical lot of nurses actually got so burned out by the just the work environment during the pandemic, and travel nursing became this way out, like I can still do what I am trained to do. But if you have a flexible enough lifestyle, like you don't have, like this person, for example,
be the perfect candidate. You don't have a child at home that you're caring for, no spouse, so you can get up and move excuse me, and go wherever you may be needed as a travel nurse. And these hospitals pay big money to have not just traveling nurses. One
of my Mandy money makers is a general surgeon. She's making almost four hundred thousand dollars a year as a general surgeon in the South, and she tells me that there are she is on a team where there's traveling surgeons, like and they pay way more what for the traveling surgeons. That's her issue. She's like, I'm here, I'm being loyal. I'm getting paid peanuts compared to these traveling surgeons who you're more than happy to pay for like a six
month contract to come in and swoop in and swoop out. Anyway, So I get what she's saying about the like earnings potential of you know, becoming a traveling nurse and the fact that she just asked for a raise using my negotiation scripts, but you know, got the request was denied.
And one of this is one of the reasons why I like to push people just to ask the question, because if you're someone who's in a nine to five and you're like, man, you know, if I just keep you know, if I just stay here, I'll get that raise, I'll get this, and that if you ask, you'll find out a lot sooner than just waiting for them to you know, tell you or not tell you and then
you can make it like an informed decision. So they've told you, with all your experience, twenty years in the business, with the ten years that you've given them, that your loyalty is not worth more to them than what they're paying you right now, Like they've told you that now. So I feel like you've got the information that you have that should make you feel a little bit freer to definitely make a move. You know, you enjoy your job seventy five percent of the time is a lot.
I feel like that's like how much I think for a regular you know, working in nine to five, Like, how many of you can say you enjoy your job three fourths of the times? That's pretty good.
But what do you like?
What is it about the stability that you're craving And how can you create that sense of stability in your new chapter? You know, whether it's at a traveling nurse or somewhere else, you have to think of yourself as your own job stability, Like no one can take away your twenty years of experience. No one can take away And I'm telling you these nurses and these medical professionals,
y'all continue to educate yourselves forever. Y'all really like school, and y'all go back for more degrees, and they can't take that education away from you either. And there's a lot that you could do with those skills. So even if you were to leave this place, you know, ten years in and try travel nursing for a year to see how it is, if you decide that you don't like it, which you are more than like, you're more it's okay for you to pivot into something new and
decide you don't like it. You know, if you decide like, they can't take away that work experience, and you've got such applicable skills to you could go to any hospital, you know, any any you know, health care facility, maybe consult or you know, do nursing in some other way,
or teach or whatever it may be. You have so many skills, and that, for me is what is creating stability for you, Not so much just the fact that you're employed, you know right now, and you've got you know, you know sort of where you're going to go each day for work. And I feel like at forty eight, like this this is how I kind of hope I can be once. I mean, I'm not going to stop being like flexible and trying new things now that I
have young children. But I also feel like you did you know, your kids out the house and it's just you yourself, and you so like, way, yeah, why not take a little bit of a risk right now? The only person who you seem to be, you know, needing to convince as yourself that you can do that. And if you're looking for permission, we have our magic permission. Wand yeah, I don't know why I whipped it, can I just I just want to say, like, I get it.
It's somebody who sometimes feels very risk adverse. Let's deriskify this thing that you're saying. One, you are literally in one of the most in demand professions, like no demand. I mean back in the day. My mother was a nurse for many years. She retired a few years ago.
But they back in the day, I don't know if you notice made it, they used to literally fly to Jamaica to try to recruit women, to come over Africa to recruit women because nursing has been in demand for so long and especially during COVID and especially post COVID.
So this is a profession with the job security is baked into the foolishness of this country just because of all that we know for real, because sometimes like I get it, it's like it sounds good, but it's like then for me, I'm like, how do I derisk afy my fear? It's like, one, let's be real, I'm in a profession. We're girl. I can throw a rock and hit a hospital that's like yes, please, please please, So let's say tell yourself that too. I would talk to other nurses so I can get real clear on like
it's real cute out here, Like how cute? Like how much cute? Like real cute cute? How Like how quickly were you able to get cute about you know what
I mean? So getting a better understand of like what does the money really look like how quickly you can make it with people who are in your position, who have your level of education, who have your level of experience, like gather as much details as possible so you can then feel more comfortable Like, Okay, Saratanya, Tiffany Mandy are similar to me, and they're actually making more than I am.
They're going to make this connection for me to this, like you know, agency, I can pretty start much start right away, worst case scenario, because I'm a nurse. Let's be real, I know I can go someplace else and work someplace else, even though I'm what I'm saying really is I'm comfortable here. But the truth is I'm in a safe position just by nature of the of the
industry that I'm in. You know, and then once you get those numbers, start dreaming about like what that additional income can do for you, you know, like you know, can you go on more vacations? You know, will you be able to help your kid not have if they're in school? You know, I don't know, because they're twenty one now, so maybe they've graduated. Like what would that money do? Like dreamscape a little. So that's what I
would say, de risk ify and then dreamscape. But what that extra money can do for you?
Risk ify?
Yeah, because some as I need that. I'm just like, wait, I'm skined. I'm scared. I'm scared scined. Like I'm like, Okay, what are you scared of? I'm scared of. My team is gonna say, if you listen to our episode on Wednesday. Prior to this, I'm making a transition in the Budgetista to really become a business that creates insights for companies that want to speak to black women, and I'm like,
I'm scared. I'm scared. What are you scared about? I'm scared that my team is gonna leave and they're gonna be mad at me. Da da da. I was scared about that. But then I looked at my team and I thought to myself, everybody here is so awesome, and I de riskified by talking myself through it, pulling them aside individually, telling them as a group, and everybody was like yes, girl. I'm like, oh, what else are you scared about, Tiffany, about making a transition? What if you
make enough money? I started to talk to people in corporate to say, would you be interested in in insights like this. I have already gotten like two or three people who were like tentatively put me down as a client. I was like, okay, and so I'm de risk affying because I'm actually really risk adverse. People think that I'm like, oh, I'm out here leaping now, girl, And then as a
result of that, now I could take the leap. There's still a leap to be taken, but I have minimized the risk as much as possible before doing so, so we you know, what is it. Maddie Bell, Maddie Bell, girl, girl, ring that bell, Maddie Bell.
You're right, it's like put a name to the fear and like actually look at the facts and let the facts fight the fear. Like, you know, if you're exactly like what you said, if you're worried about how much money can I make? I don't know, find some answers, you know, so you can put together a real plan. But I also feel like the time freedom if you controlled your schedule, and it reminded me immediately, like I think the woman who helped me deliver my son, Remy,
I think she was a traveling nurse. She was retiring age, retirement age. She was so sweet. I think her name was Bonnie, And I just got lucky because one day a month she showed up for that hospital. She's like, yeah, I'm contracted to come here one day a month. And she basically left travel like for the flexibility, and now they bring her back just as a contractor, you know,
which is basically a traveling nurse exactly. So think about what if you leave, leave because they show you that they're not you're not worth more, whether it's you get a competing offer somewhere else to prove that you're worth more, and you leave, you become a traveling nurse, and then
they're like, we want you back. And at this time you feel more confident about traveling and doing freelance, so you're like, okay, I'll come back for three days a month, and you know you can pay me triple what you were paying me before hourly. But Bonnie was just living her best life. She's like, yeah, I come when I want to.
I love it.
And then I go off to the you know, the countryside, and and you know, me and my husband have a great little quiet life, so yeah, I love it. What Tip said about g risk of fying and also dreamscaping and imagining not what you'd be losing but what you could be gaining. Yes, by starting a new chapter, love that for you.
If you want us to love stuff for you, go ahead on over and ask your question. Go to the brandambission dot com, so Brownambition dot com, brandabision podcast, I'm sorry dot com, contact us, ask questions there, Email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. Ask questions there, Brown Ambition Podcast on ig slide into the d MS and follow us the BA podcast on Twitter. Same slide into the d MS, and you know we're here. We're
two smart brown girls. You know we're not your mama and your cousin, your financial advisor, but we are your fabe financial brown girls. Okay, we know a little something one or two, but always take our advice with the small screen assault and lead into the people that you pay for. The final say, but until next week. I like that. I know that was a bar that I'm gonna quickly forget.
Meanwhile, they're like, but you just answered two questions that came to Mandy's email into your DM, So what are you really telling us? Okay, rewarded?
All right, y'all next week. We'll see you guys next week. Bye.
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