It's time for the b a qk A the b a q A, which is saying the b a q A with Tiffin A, the b a q A with Mandy, the b a qa A prohibition question and answer. You have questions, we have answers written reason because we're not your financial advisor, we're not your attorney, but we are your smart financial girlfriends.
Okay, and the internet.
Yeah, some smart ladies on the Internet.
I'm excited because Mandra has an update for so maybe Manda paint.
The scene for like it's an update for what.
I love a good sequel. So if you guys have been following. A few weeks back, we got a question from a listener named Kevin. First of all, Kevin, shout out to you because you know, not our target audience, but we love you for listening. He had such an interesting question, he he He sent us a message saying basically that his wife was not going up for promotion at work and he was trying to encourage her to do so. He wanted her to be and this was
a kicker. He wanted her to be a good role model for their daughter and basically show their daughter that she could be a leader and I don't know Tip if you remember our responses, but I know the one thing I remember, and what Kevin has pointed out here in his follow up is I was like, way, way, way, Mint, Kevin, you think you know what's best for your wife. But your wife because she doesn't want to go for this promotion.
It may not mean that she's not ambitious. It just may mean that, like she has identified this as not the place you know, I want to be stepping up, like they may not support me, etc. What else about Kevin? So anyway, it's been weeks. That was one of our more popular, one of our most popular baq and a's ever, And we have been waiting Kevin for your bids with Vaden Breast. So let's get into it. He has, Oh, Kevin, all right, let me read this to you. Greetings ladies,
I just want to say thank you for taking my question. First, let me thank you for pointing out how my words related to my wife setting an example for our daughter could be misconstrued. Let me say that my wife is an outstanding role model to our daughter. I was talking in terms of negotiating for higher wages and getting promoted. But I see how someone could read that differently, my wife loves our kids beyond measure, and that's the best
possible example. Also, she's he's digging himself out of all She's gorgeous, kind forgiving a gift from God, and ten times smarter than me.
That Sorry, it took.
Someone for the update, but your advice opened up some really good dialogue. I have to admit I wrote my question hoping you would give me some tricks to convince my wife to just go for it. But what happened was the exact opposite. After listening to the podcast, it was as if everything my wife had been telling me shifted and my whole perspective changed. Through our conversation, I realized that the fear I thought I saw was just my wife not feeling she was in an environment that
would nurture and support her. I wouldn't call her environment toxic because she likes her job and her coworkers. After re listening to her, I realized she doesn't feel like the current leadership at her job can provide enough support and guidance for someone stepping into a brand new leadership position. All right, Kevin, you're halfway out of the hole that you've dug. But it gets better. TIF Are you ready?
Listening to the podcast, I realized that I was falling into that trap where I knew what was best for her, and like you said, she's one of those people who knows when to say enough. I am now focusing on just shutting up and listening and letting her tell me what she wants, which honestly, she's been doing the whole time. When I took a minute to stop and think about it, I wrote into the podcast looking to help her, but
all along I was the one who needed help. At this point, I don't believe that he's writing this, I think is why it's writing this point. Oh, I can't why because I just want all the husbands out there to just listen.
Okay.
I like to think of myself as supportive, but sometimes my ambition to be this power couple clouds my judgment. I have to start realizing that our power as a couple isn't tied up in our titles or how much money we make, but in the fact that we are a loving black couple that's been together for twenty five years, love it. We have raised three awesome children, and we love ours. We love each other now more than ever, thank you for the advice. I don't think this email
can truly express how transformative your advice was. I'm a better husband now because of the advice you gave me.
Your biggest fan, Kevin Kevin.
First of all, Kevin's wife was standing over her shoulders say and say and write that, Yeah, the beautiful party, beautiful smarter than me.
keV was like, like, let me reread it.
She said, you know, let me make some edits because you over here not really fully express it. First of all, Kevin, we stand a husband that wants to do and be better, So let's fee around arose for that.
So that's awesome.
The fact that you the fact is you you reached out to ask for help, but we're open when the feedback didn't align with what you expected, which speaks volumes about you and your character.
So you know, your wife is not the only You are not.
The only lucky one. You know, she is fortunate to have you as well. And I just love the fact that I suspected she was already telling you. But oftentimes we don't hear our significant other until someone else said something similar.
So I love the.
Fact that you were like, wait, she has said that and like, literally, Mandy, it's like what you said that she was like you were like, I mean, she sounds ambitious and amazing. Maybe she just looking around and was like, oh no, you're not gonna have me up here looking like how you looking up here without support and free falling.
No no, no, no no.
So I love the fact that that's what it was, and that you figured out that's what it was, and so like, I'm just honestly, I'm just this is like my favorite baqa moment if I do say.
So myself, and I I think.
I would join you in that. Yes, so warm and fuzzy. And this is why you've been married for twenty five years, Kevin. We were never worried for you twenty five years. This is how a man, This is how every couple should handle, you know. Maybe don't you know, send questions to podcasters. That's part of that fundamental you know process. But in this case, it worked out, and I'm so glad that it helped you better understand where your wife was coming from.
And this is the thing. I don't think I would have been able to even think of this question and this response in this way had I not spent the past year talking to hundreds of black and brown women who are feeling just like your wife, and it opened my eyes up to this notion that oh, we're just not you know, we're not earning more because we're not
ambitious enough. We're not going for the leadership roles because we don't think that, you know, we would be good enough, or we have imposter syndrome and all that bullshit, when really it's like, so what are the organizations doing to make us feel like we would succeed in that role? And like what supports and resources are they giving us so that we can thrive? So I'm just yes, big fuzzy yes, over the moon with this response. I hope you guys just have a beautiful date night and laugh
about this. Kevin, we're your biggest fans too, I would say, Oh and I forgot the ps ps. He says, Tiffany, I'm still putting your book on the prime spot at every bookstore I go to.
Yeah, thank you, Okay, gegging with money, still out here doing this thing. And just like, we just want to shout out to Kevin's wife, who clearly reread this was like and again because you was reckless at first, were like Kev's wife. Girl, you got to stuff a good one.
Girl.
You got him all the way together, Like Okay, I could just see him being like, I want to play with the ladies. Head said, I wonder if he played it for her. She was like, that's what I've been trying to tell.
You with love.
So let's move on to some other people's lives that we need to be saving. You know that, Oh yes, because we are here.
Just it.
No pressure, no pressure.
We've got a message from Casandra not their real name, but that's okay. We love Bake, Hi, Tiffany, and Mandy. First, can I just say how much I admire both of you. I grew up in a household where we live paycheck to paycheck and never talked about money, so your podcast is bridging that gap. Thank you, you welcome girl. My question is about navigating the option between public and private
work and pay. I'm a lawyer, okay, girl, smart, who recently graduated, and I am currently deciding between accepting a job in the public sector nonprofit or government or the private sector law firm. My heart isn't doing public interest law, but the salary gap is huge. If I went the public interest route, I would be making anywhere from fifty
to sixty five thousand dollars. While at a law firm, I would make two hundred and fifteen thousand starting and be given oh wow, and be given an eighty thousand dollars bonus. I have interviewed at law firms and this is what they've offered. To top it off, I'm the sole breadwinner. Oh my husband is a recent immigrant and a full time student, and I have a two year old daughter. I won't say her name because I'm assuming that's saying her name. How do you suggest I approach
this choice? I feel like doing what I love is completely out of the question because of the salary gap if I go the private route. How do I deal with the guild that comes from working for companies instead of doing the work for the greater good?
What say you, Mandra?
Oh?
Well, Cassandra, I mean I, first of all, I feel like you're so not alone in this predicament and the thing that I want you to like what I can tell that you're you're putting so much pressure on yourself, as if this is the only career choice you're ever going to make. You know, the facts are you can get a really nice salary, and you can still do good work working for a private firm. You can be
choosy about which firm you do. You can choose a firm that gives you I've had coaching clients who've you know, had pro bono cases that they can take or the firm commits some percentage of their hours to pro bono work.
Think about what you how much, how much you would be able to do with those additional resources for your family, and then also potentially you could maybe give away some of your knowledge yourself, like volunteering for a nonprofit or volunteering for an organization or for people that you may want to help. You can still do that, you know. So I don't think you should feel guilty at all for accepting, of really accepting what you're worth. You know,
from a private firm. You're a breadwinner. Everyone's circumstances are different, right, You're in a situation where you don't have all the options in the world to just take a job for
the love of it. Like, you have a family to support, a husband who you said recently immigrated and maybe trying to establish his career, so like you can take on that role as breadwinner yeah, for now, and then you could do it for a few years, a couple of years, one year, whatever, and then if you decide to change and it's not right for you, make that change at
that time, you know. So I feel like people just put a lot of pressure on one choice, as if I'm going to make this choice and this is who I'm going to be the rest of my life, when that's not always the case. It's rarely the case.
And I'll say this, Cassandra, because I struggle with this. When I first started the Budgetnista, my intention was to make it a nonprofit organization because I wanted to be of service and I thought that's the best way I'm going to give, you know, I'll find some funding and to give my services a way for free. But it just wasn't the right fit because for some reason, I had decided that if you're going to do good work, you have to be like a financial martyr, you know,
and I had done that being a preschool teacher. I really didn't make much, but you know, it was just me. I didn't have children, I wasn't married when I was in my twenties, and so you know, I made less and I don't regret that, but I realized with the budget, Nissa, that you can do both. That it is a business that gives ways so much information for free. And then you know, we you know, I figured out ways to monetize in ways that are still in alignment with my integrity.
So to Mandy's point, like there are organizations.
That you could donate your time and energy to, like I know, for example, in Newark, there is a like a like a group of lawyers that, like you know, every Tuesday you can kind of go to some office and ask all these different questions of them and they give that time away for free to the residents of
newer you know. And so there are things you can still do that gives your time and with those financial funds, you are able to if your husband is an immigram, one thing I know for one thing for certain two things for sure, people who you know, immigrants give money back home, right, And so I look at my parents and how many people that they've helped while being here
and how we continue that legacy. And so you being married to your husband, it opens up I'm not sure what your background is, but it opens up your opportunity to also help family members you know, potentially financially because if you know, with that salary, which is incredible, plus that bonus, which is super incredible, I can imagine how hard you must have worked with a two year old.
That means you were pregnant while you were in law school.
Girl, you know you that's your Yeah, so girl, you're just you're rock starring it. You don't have to take less in order to prove that you care about people work. Walking with integrity is not about taking less. It's just about your day to day actions, and there are other ways to do that without without sacrificing your family's financial future. So congratulations, Cassago. We are proud of you over here at the ba of the QA and continue soaring. I
have to see the decision is yours. But no, if you needed that permission, that's what she was asking for.
Girl.
Two brown girls were saying, get your money, honey, commissions up.
Grunted, Yeah, Gunted. I love that those private firms need more women of color too. I just feel like, yes, when you find the right fit, you'll be making a
huge impact no matter where you go. And I mean, this is just the privilege of not having This is the privilege that you can be building for your daughter to maybe one day make a choice for whatever she wants to do, just based on passion, because you're because you, you know, starting off this new generation of wealth building, like you're doing, like you've made that possible for her. That's what I feel like I'm doing every day. Just given Rio. Rio can just go be a poet.
I love that baby.
Just go be a go be an artist, whatever you want to be. Oh man, All right, well I should we take a quick break and we'll be right back with a really good question from somebod who wants to go by ag girl. I want to find out why. See y'all right back here with more of your ba q and a's l right, ba fan, we are back with your question. Did you catch how I said holy shirt, Tiffany?
Because I almost died when I said holy shirt. This is when you know Rio is now responding to and repeating everything I say.
I was like, Manna, you cuss a little, and you're.
Like, no more.
Now.
The other day I used and I did not say holy shirt, and he repeated that all the way to daycare.
O God, I said, oopsie.
Anyway to our question, this comes from a listener who'd like to go by ag girl, she or he says, I am well she she says, I am a new graduate and I landed an amazing job in my field of my in the field of my dreams, with great benefits. I'm wondering, how do you balance illustrating your oprah as a new employee while still having a good work life balance. You all stress not to overwork yourself, but I feel like this is what I need to do to get noticed.
Can you provide some advice on illustrating your oprah as a new graduate but not overworking ourselves to get noticed? Excellent question that girl first.
For I guess so just for the fose of you who are listening who might not know what illustrating your oprah is. Honestly, it's just this term that I came up with where I was like, because when I first started, the budget needs to no one would like let me speak, not even for free, let.
Alone pay me.
And I remember at first I was I used to just tell myself, oh, that's because they don't have the budget.
They don't have money.
And then one day someone who had told me no told someone else yes, like they told me no for the free thing and paid them like two hundred dollars and I was like, what the hell? And I realized, like, they do have the money, They're just not giving it to me. Hey why, as I thought, and I remember distinctly thinking, I bet if I was Oprah, they would pay me. And then something in me it was like, yeah, if you were Oprah, they would pay you because Oprah
clearly illustrates her value. And I was like, oh, it was a read for filth internally, so I realized that, like, somehow I have to showcase my value so undeniably that they pay me as quickly like they would pay Oprah, you know, And still to this day, I still work on that. So just so you guys know, that's where
illustrating your Oprah comes from. Okay, So, at girl, you are right in that there are not all time is created equally, right, So there are going to be times when you're going to be working more than others and leading in more to others.
I don't believe in balance.
I believe in what I call harmony, So balance all things at equal measure. Same, you know, like alone time at home, you know, time with their girls is the same time with your partner time at work. Now, ain't no such thing as balance to keep all of those things equally weighted.
Instead, there's harmony.
You ever listened to a song, Sometimes the pranos are the sopranos are dominating.
They're a little louder.
So sometimes work is a little louder, and sometimes here comes the baritones.
They dominate.
And so maybe that's like, you know, partner time, Like that's what's dominant this weekend, and so it is okay to fluctuate in and out of. Like you know, it's like when you first start a business, same thing, you're going to have to lean in and work harder than
what I'm doing now. Like I don't work nearly as hard from when I first started the budget easte, but when I launched something new, I knew, I know that it's going to require more of me than when I'm already coasting through doing that thing for a number of years. So I don't want you to think that you're not supposed to work hard, But overwork just means if you are exhausted and spent and you're just like sick of it, then you know you have pushed yourself too hard. The
sopranos are doing too much. They need to sit down and let the altos sing a little song.
You know what I mean.
And so that's what it looks like. I'll give you an example of someone on my team who's done them.
Her name is Logan. Shout to Logan. She's amazing.
So when Logan first came to me, Logan was the She worked in customer support on the literature Academy side of my business, so that's my online school, and Logan was in customer support, you know, just literally making a few bucks an hour. She was so good and she created like a system for us to answer customer support more succinctly that I made her the customer support manager, you know.
And Logan is someone who's always reading.
A book, taking a course, taking a class, so she got to be so good the customer support manager in that she trained everyone, and so we could literally satisfy thirty thousand people in our academy with like three or four people on customer support.
I was so impressed.
I said, what do you actually want to do, Logan? And she's like, I really love researching. I love how you write your copy, tiftany I want to learn how to copyright, I said, bet So I started to teach her how to copyright, and she got so good. So it took me her maybe six months to like eight months to like kind of shadow me and like copywriting. And then I let her take it on on her own and just I would just review everything she wrote. And by a year's time, Logan was just as good
as a copywriter. And now she's even better and to the point now where then I promoted her to contact manager. So she writes all my emails, she does all my social media posts.
And you know what I mean. But you see the how.
Logan illustrated her oprah was she didn't just do her job well, she prepared for what the next level might look like by learning something new. And so when after my husband passed away, I could not support the fifteen people I had on the team at Badjanista. It just was too much. But I let go of everybody except for my admin and Logan. Why because her value was so illustrated. I was like, yo, if I can't let a logan, I need Logan.
Right because she illustrated her value so much.
So like if I talk to Logan now, ask her, what do you doing right now, she's like, oh, I'm taking this Instagram course so I can learn how to like, you know, to get her Instagram like poppin' Oh I took this course on Pinterest. Because that's Logan, always stretching to learn, to grow, to add new skill sets to her to her toolkit. You she illustrates her OPRAH so so succinctly and so powerfully that even if I would have let go lower, there are people now squatting on
you still work with Logan. Okay it Logan available, Like Logan would have no problem replacing me with another job because she's just so valuable. So that's what illustrating your OPRAH looks like in real time. And also, you know, creating harmony with working hard when you need to work hard and pulling back when you need to pull back.
I love when you talk about that Logan story. It's a great example of well. I also think it's a really good example of as a leader recognizing like, because people can be illustrating their OPRAH, but if you're not, as a leader seeing it and like rewarding them and showing them that with hard work, and for so many people, there's a lot of out there who are just not being seen because they have teams or management that just not is recognizing their talent. What I love about a
recent grad. That's why I got excited, ag girl when I saw your question. It's like, oh, you can be molded. Like you're so young and this is your first you know, it sounds like the first full time job you've had. And just I would add to that, you know, how do I define illustrating your oprah? You know, for me, I think it's all about your professional brand, and first and foremost, that's like how the outside world outside of
your employer is viewing your work. So this is people who you may engage with on LinkedIn or through networking events. What do they know about the work that you're doing and are you telling them and showing them so you're not the best kept secret. And then it's also like how do people at your company view you? You're so
new that your first years. You know, if you go back to Tiffany's story about Logan, you know, she spent months doing really well and I'm assuming like demonstrating that with Tiffany and letting you see the growth and all of that and moving on to the next thing and so I think in your first year especially, give yourself time to make an impact, give yourself time to learn and to see what is needed and to try to
fill that need. You know in your new role, I wouldn't go above and beyond just working just to be working, Like, take the task that you're given and complete them and learn and grow. But the best way to sort of expand your professional brand at work is to actually keep your manager and your team abreast of what it is that you're up to. So I love the idea of doing a weekly recap email for your manager, especially when
you're new. Just literally can be a few sentences, Here's what I've been up to, Here's what I've been doing. This is really good for managers who are maybe a little bit more off hands and you don't feel like they're recognizing what you're doing. Demonstrate your oprah, tell them what you've been doing. So keeping them updated with like a weekly recap email a monthly. If you don't have a regular one on one with your manager, ask to
schedule one. The key is just recognizing that sometimes we have to tell people that we're ready for more and tell them that we are worthy of more, and not like waiting for them to tap us on the shoulder and be like, you know, that's the ideal. I feel like, Tiffany, you're just like you're a badass. I'm going to give you more. Some managers are just clueless, and so we
have to like say, hey, hi, give me more. And if not, you know, I'm going to be moving on down the road to someone who will give me more. So that's what I would say. Don't overwork yourself for
the sake of doing it. And I also think if you're if you're being impactful and like really helping your team, then you can't make the mistake of thinking that I'm meant to do everything by myself and kill myself because at the end of the day, if they're not actually asking you to do that, that'd be a problem too. But if you're just telling yourself, I need to work around the clock and you know, really burn myself out, all you're gonna do is end up resentful and like
burnt out. And that's a mistake that too many women are making. Professionals are making, you know, in their careers as well. But you're so young, there's time. Don't don't do that.
Yes, girl, you're gonna be looking good. It's opuspank account, good luck, a new job. Yeah, oh the youths. Yeah.
In the fact you're asking that question speaks volumes about like you know, I feel like you're gonna crush it and kill it.
So check in with us in a few months. We'd love to know how it's going.
Give us another Kevin update, Kevin Style update. All right, a girl into all of our incredible listeners who sent us your questions, Thank you so much. If you have a question you want featured on the show and the b a Q and A hit us up Ron Brown Ambition Podcast. We are at Brown Ambission Podcast on ig You can also email us Bronambision Podcast at gmail dot.
Com dot com until next time until next week.
Hey ba fan, we could not do this show without your support or the support of our team behind the scenes. The Brown Ambision Podcast is produced by Cumulus Podcast Network. It's edited by the wonderful Emani Crosby and produced by Tanya Bustos. Damplinsky is our in house tech crew and I am Bandy Woodard Santos, your co host, and I will see y'all next week.