Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, we're brown ambition.
Hey man, you're black and the black black black black. I love that because you know what we do not have, Like the the mystery is now solved. Like I feel like everyone knows I'm black now and I don't have to hide it. But it's like people who don't see color. It's like I feel free. I feel free, a little bit free, and we can acknowledge our I just can't hid.
I know.
I know I'm black, and now you do you do?
Yeah, that's a good song to do with it. What is that flash chance?
I don't even know.
I'm so excited, Like, can we.
Choose to turners? Anyway? It's fine, it's not the cuff. Yeah, I just I was chatting with some friends and I was like, there's no going back for me. I can't undo the truth that I'm speaking now. I can't go back to the way I used to be, where I tried to diminish myself to be more palatable to people. I don't think I can go back. It feels too good to just say what you think.
Yeah, it feels awesome.
Yeah, yeah, Oh did you see my husband broke this news to me, Oh, I don't know what. I guess I'm happy. I guess I'm relieved. But you know, Bubba Wallace a NASCAR driver, Yes, the like one of I think the only black NASCAR drivers. So he made a lot of headlines. God, I never knew this man's name. I grew up in Locust Grove, Georgia, which McDonough, Georgia,
which was home of the NASCAR racetrack. Man. I just steered very clear away from that because the whole business of NASCAR is just steeped, I think, in racism, and it's so attracts a crowd that you know that they have a bad rap, you know. And Bubba Wallace came out and supported the ban of the Confederate flags at NASCAR rallies or whatever you call them. I don't I'm not equipped to talk about this. Is it a sport whatever.
So NASCAR banned Confederate flags, and Bubba Wallace became at least he just he was on all the morning shows. That's how I saw him on the Today Show. First of all, I mean, he's extremely handsome. Go check him out if you haven't do your googles.
I saw him like a lot far away. Okay, I'm going to take a look after he's not.
I kind of imagine, like maybe real will look like him one day. But anyway, that's also weird. The point of what I'm trying to get at is that, so he came out in support of banning the Confederate flag, NASCAR totally backed him, which I was personally shocked by, because I mean, I formed my opinion of the NASCAR crowd a long time ago, and that's also a problem in and of itself. I should give people a chance,
but they have a terrible history behind them. Anyway, this week it came out, or was it late last week, Bubba Wallace found what he thought was a noose hanging from the garage door where he parked his car for this race or whatever, and in true like solidarity with him. It was actually beautiful to see. There was this spiral video where all of the drivers in this I'm gonna keep calling it a rally. I'm really sorry if you're a fan, I don't know what else to call it.
Before they drive around the track a bunch of times the race or whatever, they to show solidarity with Bubba Wallace, they pushed his car down the track and they took a big photo with him, and there were so many statements of support. Yes, NASCAR was all over it, and sadly, I was like, oh, of course, of course found a noose in his garage. It's NASCAR, and you know, these people are like racist, even if the companies, even if the business itself was coming out, you know, in favor
of inclusivity. So it came out today. Fortunately it was not a hate crime. The FBI investigated, they did it very quickly, and it turned out that the news quote unquote was was hanging from the garage door way back like last year, and they have security footage. So it's like, you know, part of me is relieved because it feels like, okay, good, I mean, at least, at least there was one terrible hate crime story that ended up not being a hate crime.
And as far as I know, it was not at all like a Jesse Smalllett situation where you know, he hung the news himself and then took a picture of selfiea it. You know, remember Jesse Smalllett.
Oh my gosh, remember when scandals were like so simple like that.
Like, oh Jesse right, all he lied.
And you know, but now we're like, we have bigger fish to fry, Jesse, You're off the hook.
Beggar fresh. So that ended up being at least a happy ending, and FBI investigated really quickly, and NASCAR was like, this is the this is the this is the outcome. You know, we were all hoping for that it would not turn out to be a hate crime. And good because I feel like Bubba Wallace, I mean, he's done huge things for the sport just in the last week by bringing recognition to it and shout out to the
black athletes in white sports. Like there was also a man who plays in the National Hockey League and again, your girl knows nothing about this sport except for this black man had opened up about the racism and the bullying that he had to endure in that sport and how just insidious it was within the sport itself. And Bubba and this other guy whose name I do not know what I'm very sorry, they're so brave to speak out and know that they have to go back down,
yes to the locker room. Do they have those? And Okay, I should just talking about stuff I don't know about, but it takes real bravery and it's time for us to expect. You know. It's one of those things where I just accepted in my mind a world where NASCAR was just for white people. It was a racist sport,
Confederate flags, you know, And it's nice. It's nice to think that maybe a generation or two from now they'll think of Nascar as you know, oh Bubba Wallace or you know, the twenty five bubble Wallaces that that may come next. Which is that just nice to see it is?
Well and some not so nice news.
Well, so I feel like, you know, we've all seen all the companies doing like their statements and things like.
We stand with Black Lives Matter.
We you know, if you know, to me, if you're not coming like Ben and Jerry's, I don't believe you.
Ever since you mentioned Ben and Jerry's, I just saw another headline that they're stopping ads on Facebook because of Facebook's history of non inclusive advertising or whatever. Continue here.
They're like, awesome, if you haven't googled Ben and Jerry's Black Lives Matter statement, it's amazing. So this brand reached out to me, who I've worked with financial brand and their product is you know, good decent, and they were like, oh, we saw what you did we share the mic, Tiffany, and they might listen, hey boo, but we saw what
you did. We share the mic, and we'd love for you to take over our ig feed, and we'd love for you to, like, you know, be transparent, be yourself, share like how you did with share the mic.
I said, Oh my gosh, it sounds great. Dot in the.
Phone with one of their I don't know if she was an executive or what, but I've spoken to the president of this company before when they wanted me to work with them, and I was like, okay, sounds great. Everything was sounding great, great, great great great until it came out, and to be fair, she shared it candidly that, oh, so, I just want to be honest, we don't have any black employees. And I'm like, are you guys based in like New Zealand or something. Oh no, Silicon.
Valley, oh and me at all?
Out of how many?
And I asked that's why, I said, I said how many? She said thirty.
I said, what about contract workers, you know, because I hire Captholck and she was like no, I said, so, no black employees out of thirty even though you're based here in the United States. Where there's plenty of black folks, no contract workers. I said, even we have Nate. Nate is the one white guy on our team and the sea assistance. There's Nate, right, and I've had we work
with other people we've worked with. Of course, my team is largely African American women, but we work with all types of people before a contract and otherwise.
And I told her that.
I said, even we a black women run business that serves black women have like you know, we work with Hector, he's a Hispanic male Nate. I think her name was Heather my agent, Heather, my other agent la, but even I have other.
And she was just like, yeah, you know, we can do better.
And I said, uh, yeah, you.
So why I'm not here to be your brown band aid on your ig when you have a real problem internally. And she's like, oh no, no, that was not the intention. And she said, oh wait wait and then she said this, which I'm like, wow. She was like, wait, we do hire black models and actors. I guess they do commercials and things and for their ads, and then we also have black partner partners like you. I thought, oh, so you take the black dollar, got it, you know? But
you don't hire black people. Ooh even better and she was like, oh my god. I was like, do you see how terrible that sounds? So you acknowledge that you want black people's money, so you lure them with black bait like me, and you put them in black ads and black commercials to get black money. But Ah, would never ever ever hire black people.
I mean, do you see what that sounds like?
Oh, but what we will do is get black Tiffany to be on our ig to say hey, look we're black adjacent and then go back to being not really in solidarity with black people. So you can take black dollars but can't put money back into black pockets.
Got it?
And she was like, no, no, that was not my That's not what I meant.
I can see how that sounds. I'm like, it's not really about how it sounds, it's just how it is.
And so she was like, well, you know it basically, And I mean obviously I told them no, And well she was like, you know, I'm going to check back in with you next week. But I'm sure she marinated it on and realized, like check back in sis, it's a rap, honestly, And I told her the truth is, I'm not going
to be pushing your product anymore. Well, if you're listening, just so you know, we're not going to be pushing your product anymore, because you know, what she did say is is that you know, we do have a policy in place that the next like you know, the next hire or the next few hires will be black people, which it just seems so that's not it, sis like, and I was like, because one, what are you hiring next? And she's like, well, it is quarantine during the pandemic.
In other words, you're not hiring. So let's be clear on that. And it's not about and actually use you as an example of Mandy. I was like, you know, one of my friends, she's in a position to hire people, and you know what she's done. She widens the net.
Black people don't need you to.
Accommodate with them with crumbs. If you widen the net in your search for people to hire, you will find people who are qualified, all racist genders, creeds and all that.
You do not widen your net. And it's purposefully done, I said, because here I am, I too run a financial company, and we have man to fill it with twenty five black women imagine that they're out there, you know, and so so yeah, hey girl, if you're listening, I'm not working with you anymore and we're not pushing your product anymore.
It's not in alignment with the way I want to show up.
So the truth is I've been looking at different products and services that we use and looking to see who's on their team to see, Like, I don't care about your post on ig and your stinking email. I want to see how do you really show up behind the scenes. So yeah, that was like, you know, that was so crazy. I was like, I know she cut I know she was like, That's how I thought this was going to end.
I hope that this continues to happen. I had a similar and shout out to you for well, I mean, give her credit for acknowledging it, and give you credit for taking that information in doing what you did. You don't get a cookie for acknowledging the problem. That's exactly what I've decided not to accept from the company that
I work for. And I talked last week about how I wrote an email to my CEO and with six points in the email, and I know one of our listeners reached out to me and wanted wanted me to share the six points, and I want to do that, but a little bit more because, as I said on last week's show, I feel like there's a huge opportunity here where we can finally acknowledge our blackness in the workplace, tell people how it is, and then get them to do something about it, because I'm not interested in hearing
someone hem and haw and just like, oh, I've just never I had never meant to be racist. How could I have created a workplace that could not be inclusive of everybody? Like this is just terrible, I've realized as all of a sudden, like I don't have time to listen to you have this epiphany. I want to see real action. Okay, now you have it. You can feel your feelings at home, you know, talk to your friends and your family about how you feel so bad about
what's happened. But when it comes to the like, I don't I'm not here to like make you feel better about it. I am here with solutions, and solutions are what I want to see happen. And Tiffany to your point when it comes to choosing who you want to work, but it's the same thing about trying to be more inclusive when we decide where to spend our money, and that is the heart behind by black. That is the heart,
that is the intention behind buying black. It's that you try to lift up businesses that are typically not mainstream and are not trafficked like other businesses. So for me, as someone who has worked for several companies in the last decade plus of my career, I've never questioned what are the values of the company I'm working for. I've looked at a job and said, what will this teach me? Where can I go from here? Is this a good
career move for me? And of course, once I get there, the inclusivity of a place truly does impact me and my career advancement and things like that, But I never actually considered that thoughtfully looking at a job, is this a place where people like me can thrive? And what I've found every job I've left, if I'm looking back, and I'm truly looking back, I can point to the
fact that they were not diverse. There was no commitment to inclusivity, there was no commitment to making sure that everyone had a level playing field, and in some weird way, I had to leave like not some weird way, but I eventually left indirectly for that reason. That's that's how I feel. So I'm making a commitment. And this is something like Tiffany, you could walk away from this relationship. Doesn't sound like it was going to be like a paid opportunity. But I know that your business is such
that you can walk away from some opportunities. And I understand not everybody has that. That's a privilege in and of itself. And I'm saying this fully knowing that you know. I'm still a publican, I'm still an employee of a public company. Anything could happen. But as long as I've got a choice, and I of course i will choose a paycheck so I can feed my son over any
moral high ground. I don't know anyone who wouldn't. But as long as I have a choice, and as long as I can use it in this way, I will not work for another company as long as it's within my power and I have the ability that is not already doing it right, because I'm sick and tired of having to be on the on the advisory board for this and go to the Black Employee group and and and you know, bang my head against the wall with other black employees about what happened, and this happened, and
and and you know, find a safe space to talk about being black, Like fuck that I'm done with it.
It doesn't have to be this way. And it's again, it's like, we shouldn't have to accept this mainstream normalcy, and we shouldn't have to keep diminishing ourselves, keep changing ourselves, keep trying to conform to mainstream standards, just so we can achieve a like a livelihood, just so we can have a sliver of a shot as a person next to us who is part of that mainstream, part of the system, part of the people that the system was really and truly built for. And there are companies out there.
I believe they have to exist, Tiffany. You're one of them that are doing things right. And I that is my commitment. And now when it comes to my current company, I genuinely feel this way. And when we had our call with the CEO last week, you know, it was a small group, it was great. I told him, just like I told my team, like, if it can't happen here, if we can't make some true if we can't make
something really happen and change and move the needle. Here at a company where I think people genuinely do care, where they are committed, where they are open minded, generally progressive, lovely, nice people to work with, then it can't We're can happen anywhere, you know, and I give up. So I'm committed. I'm all in, like I'm all in this time to help get us there, and I will, you know, I'm going to be I'm joining the task force that they put together to help create some change when it comes
to inclusivity. I'm not going to shut up about it. We have I don't know if any of you guys at companies have a mid year performance review or you set goals for the year. At our company, we have a specific goal setting goal setting system called Objectives and key Results, which is very popular because this is what made Google Google and all that. And we do it quarterly. And we sat through our typical you know, all the bosses in a room and let's talk about what your
objectives are going to be for the next quarter. Q three is coming up. And it was a nice call. And as soon as it was over, because I didn't want to, like, I didn't want to. I wanted it to be a short call and I'm not trying to sit here and have a debate. I send an email because there was no team wide call for any objective tied to inclusivity, not a single one. And I send an email and I see seed our HR again and I said, Okay, here are twelve, like literally twelve bullet points.
Here's ideas for what we can include for our objection objective relating to inclusivity. It's a missed opportunity if we don't do it. And there's another meeting to talk about it next week. And I so, I like, I said, I'm all in with this, like a lot. Yeah, thank you many oh thanks, I mean thank you for thanking me.
But I just if you're in it, if you have a tiny bit of power within your company, and even if you don't, I feel like now now we have like the opportunity is ripe for us to stand up and speak and ask for things, and one hundred percent like we need businesses like Tiffany who who who hire from that way from the beginning and don't have to go back and fix a broken system. But there's so many companies out there that are already entrenched in their
ways and we need to infiltrate them. And that sounds so malicious, but we need like we need people on the right side within those companies willing, and it's exhausting work. I know, it's on top of the day jobs we already freaking have. But if you have a position of power where you can share your influence, please do so that it can be easier and better for people coming behind you. And I I'm putting my best foot forward
so far. I'm cautiously optimistic and I really hope that we can make some change, and I hope the accountability is there. Accountability is everything, and.
It's like see, for me, it's I don't know, I don't want to say easy, but you know, like one, I own my company, so who's gonna check me boo right? And then two, you know, the space is already there, so I can't imagine how hard it is if you are in a place where you're creating the space from scratch. So that's why I just said thank you, because it's not easy to do that, you know, Like it's you know, it would be weird as black women not talking to
other black women about like what's happening. I mean, it's just part of our normal, everyday conversation. So not to say it's it's you know, it's not been easy to create a company that that that does that, but it's having the conversation with with the people that I work with is not a hard conversation. It's disheartening because we're
all like, yeah, we're all on the same page. But I just want to commend you, Amandy, because it's not you know, I'm trying to think, well, only one time have I ever worked in an environment where you know, that would have been hard because when I graduated college, I my first job was a preschool teacher in Newark, New Jersey.
So I'm surrounded by black people.
So if something like if I was still a preschool teacher, I'd be talking to my other black preschool teachers about what's happening pretty freely. But I do remember before that, I had an internship working for Wakefern, which is corporate shop.
Right for those of you who don't live in like the Northeast.
Shop Right is like a really it's a chain of big supermarkets, and I remember distinctly looking at like all the executives in the at the shop right or at Wakefern, which is the corporate side, and none of them were black. And I remember that they had this one analyst, so it was like corporate. Then it was like the analyst, and then it was like like the rest of us.
And then it was like the actual warehouse where the guys were actually packing up things to put them on these big these big trucks that would go from shop right to shopright.
I remember thinking.
It looked like a plantation because it was inside the office it was all white. And then me and then there was this one door that opened to the warehouse and it was all these young black guys and I just remember thinking it was like the oddest thing, like what And this one black analyst that me being there while I was there during the summer, they demoted him to some other, like smaller job, and I just remember thinking,
And then they actually offered me a job there. And the executive assistant to the president or the CEO, she was the other black woman who actually worked.
She was an older black woman. She was like my work mom.
She pulled me to the side and I'll never forget and she said, I heard they offered your job. It was like my second year interning, second or third year. She said, I heard they offered your job, baby. I was like, yeah, you know, they're gonna pay good. She was like, she said, you see what they did to Pernell. Parnell is the you know, was the analyst that they that they demoted. She said, you see where all the other black people work. You take that job. You a goddamn fool.
I was like, wait, what work?
I was like, work, mom, But honestly, she changed the directing of my life because I was already miserable there. But they were gonna pay me fifty thousand dollars, which was such big money. Graduated in college. I was like, oh my gosh. And even though in my heart of hearts, I knew how I wanted to be a teacher, but the teaching job that I'd interviewed for was gonna pay me thirty two thousand, and then here Wakeferm was gonna pay.
Me fifty thousand.
So I was heavily considering, because hello, I wanted to get my own apartment and my own car. But when she said that, she was like what I couldn't believe beause she she lured me in with that sweetness, like, hey, baby.
Come on into my office.
I was like, okay, work mom, y'all.
I'll never forget her face.
She looked at me like that, only like a grandma could because she's an older woman, straight in the eye. Was like, you would be a goddamn fool. And I was like, I was like, you lost that. I said yes, ma'am, and I turned it down and I became a preschool teacher, which led to me becoming the budgetista. But it just like, you know, so to create I say all that to say, for you to create space like that in a place where there is no space, that's a very difficult and
brave thing to do. So I just like, you know, I can't imagine what that would look like and feel like and if I would have the courage to do so, because it takes a lot of courage to do that.
So thank you.
Well, somebody let me loose and let me hire everybody. And my team is forty percent people of color. And I feel like I've taken the past three years to quietly and it's and thoughtfully meaningfully choose how I wanted to build this team, and now I feel like, can't tell me it can't be done. I've done it, and we're one of Like I said this in my letter, we're a successful team. We're we're an engaged team. We are a productive team. We you know, we get our
shit done. And you can't tell me it can't be done because now I've shown it to you and I've done it without any help or training or anything like that. And really quickly, I wanted to run through a list, and I'm gonna I'm actually going to put this in a dock for the notes, and Kelly could include it in the show notes of a list. If you're working for a company and you're wondering, you know, what should
I be asking for right now? I want to I want to use my voice and speak up, whether it's at a town hall or an email to HR or whatever. Just I'm going to do a quick summary and then I'll include like a more detailed list than our show notes,
but a couple of things. Ask the company to publish demographics of the staff, diversity stats, what percentage are black, what percentage are white, et cetera, women versus men, all of that, and if they don't have it published or it's hidden behind some you know, mystical door, and human resources ask them why they aren't sharing it with the company, because how can you measure your own success if you
don't know where the starting line is? And how can managing How can someone like me, for example, I say forty percent of my team is people of color. I did my own assessment, But how can I know if I'm above average or below average? Or what is the baseline we should be aiming for? That's the first thing. Second thing, and this is a point I made on
the call with the CEO last week, is okay. He was speaking very passionately about the importance of inclusivity and how just he he hates, hates that anyone would feel such microaggressions in the office and that the place would be not hospitable to every one of every race and sexuality and all that. And I said, that's very nice, But do your executives think so? Does the board of directors feel the same way? It does every manager at the company in a position of hiring, giving performance reviews,
doing compensation reviews? Do they think so? And how do we hold them accountable for agreeing with you? Because it doesn't matter. And this is the same thing with like the President of the United States a little bit. Yes, he's a complete ignorant asshole, believing my CEO is nothing
like that. But I'm just making the analogy. But honestly, it's not so much what he says and does is important, but it's also the people in Congress who you know, are enabling him to do these things and enacting legislation, you know, to promote his ideals. They really are the little worker ants on the ground who can make these systems proliferate, you know. So for me, it's the same thing. We need people beneath him to feel the same way. So how do you do that? I recommend a sponsorship program.
And this is like a formal This is a formalized version of what I've had through my quote unquote sponsor, the guy who hired me four years ago, someone who when you were hired at the company and you're a person of color, you're matched with someone a couple of rungs above you at least, who is charged with being your advocate, with being your coach, with being your sounding board, someone who can help you navigate and help you understand how things work and bounce ideas off and help you
chart your own career path, and they're held accountable for whether or not you stay and how you thrive there and if you thrive there, and helping you feel like you're welcome there. And I think that would be a
big difference. And it would also show people in management that we really care about inclusivity so much so we're going to ask you to help us by sponsoring a worker you know, on a different team or whatnot, to have some skin in the game and help us create an environment where people of color can thrive because we recognize they do not come in with the same advantages and privileges that others do. I said, I was going to be quick, and here I go. No, that's good
equity training. This is racial equity training or unconscious bias training. For any manager who's going to be hiring, they have got to know, Okay, I have unconscious bias. My preference is going to be for people who look like my daughter or my cousin, or someone who I think looks
like a boss. And what does that mean. Help people understand the way that they're approaching, Help them understand how they can look at a hundred resumes and not unconsciously go for the ones that have names that sound like whatever role they're looking for. You know, people need that type of training. And you give people a lot of power to screw you up. If you're the head of a company and you don't want to look like you're you know, out of touch with what's happening in modern society.
You're giving people a lot of power to do that when you say hire whoever you want. Another thing about hiring and I credit my friend Baron who works at a big company. Can I see where he works? Probably not. Anyway, it's a big social media company and he is on the task force. And what they're doing is they're asking for more specific performance reviews because you may not realize, but the way that performance reviews are structured can often work against people of color and it just gives way
to bias again, to creep in. And the way that it can do that is if you have, like often you have ratings, you know, how is someone doing or you know, what do they need to do to get to the next level of their position that they're working at, And if it's not very specific, like if there aren't objective specific metrics for what does it take to be level one? What does it take to be level two
or level three? If you can't explain that to someone and it's all the same requirement across the company, then you're leaving it up to people to decide what their own opinions and their own subjective thoughts who's ready for a promotion or who's worthy of a promotion. So you need to really define those things if you're going to be doing performance reviews and saying those performance reviews and ratings can influence, you know, raises, promotions and things like that.
So shout out to him for giving me that idea. And small shit like our company didn't give MLK day off. Okay, we have unlimited PTO And one time I caught myself someone asked me recently. They were like, oh, we don't get oh it was around the holiday. Duah, we don't get mlkday off.
Why is that?
And I started, and I started, I was like, oh, well we have we have unlimited PTO, so if you want to take the day off, you can take the day off. In the back of my head, I'm thinking, what the fun am I saying? Why am I making excuses for this? Yeah, why don't we have MLK day off. It like those little things send a message to your black employees. And that's why that's why we have all of a sudden, everyone's got Juneteenth off. And if your company does not have MLK day off, like, what are
they telling you? What are they telling you? They're telling you that other days are more important, that they matter more. I mean, that's a that is just a message that you don't it's such as it's a message that you don't know you're sending, but you're sending one when you don't have days like that off. Let's see dress codes.
If you have a dress code at your company that can potentially be discriminatory to people of color, ask them to eliminate it, whether it's a certain way that you're told to dress so that you can or wear your hair or anything like that. I think in some states it's even illegal now to tell people how to wear their hair to the office. But I know some companies maybe we'll be trying to get around that. So keep
your eyes out for that pay equity study. So how are you paying women and men and different races at your company? And is it equitable? This is really freaking hard to do, and as a hiring manager. I have seen how pay disparities creep in accidentally, even with well meeting managers, including myself at the table. But that doesn't mean you can't correct it. You know when you see it, but you can't correct it unless everyone is on the same page that we need to correct it. And those
are just a few things. I will save the rest and put it in a dock. But I hope this is helpful to you guys and feel empowered. I think now now is the time to ask for these types of things and be a little bit brave because they seem to want to listen, and we need to hold them accountable. Like if we don't continue bringing this up, if your social media feed goes back to normal, shake it up, post something you know, don't let people forget,
don't let them off the hook. Let's let's do something while we can.
What I love is that what people have been doing with Breonna Taylor, right. I don't know if you've seen It'll be something like it's such a really nice day outside and Breonna Taylor's.
Killers are still on the lofty.
Someone wrote, like one of my friends actually went viral shout to Tayshawn.
He wrote, because right now.
We're also annoyed by the dag on firecrackers, going, I don't know where you live they're doing it, but here around here. I mean everyone's been complaining my timeline fee, these damn firecrackers. Someone was like, you know what, you knew? Who you should call if you're really annoyed by the firecrackers? Uh?
The governor?
Because Breonna Taylor's killers are still on the loose, so everyone is tying it back to why have they not been prosecuted? Why have they not been arrested? And so yeah, just like to.
Your point, keeping the points in.
People's faces, not letting people forget, keep saying it yeah.
And say their name, Yeah, say their name.
So that was great.
And honestly, the payscale thing, people say that it's bullshit because I mean, I know, I'm not a huge company, but we created a pay system, like we literally created it from scratch, my CFO and I my R CFO and I because I wanted to have pay transparency, but in a way that you couldn't necessarily guess what everybody else is paying so getting paid. So we created this color coded system where you know your color, so like Interurn is yellow, and C suite, it's pink and purple.
It's like, you know, it might be like someone who has a liaison with one that works on one project and blue is a LEAs young that works on two. So we color coded so you know your color, and behind the scenes, myself, the CFO, and the and our book keeper knows your color.
So it's the only people who know.
And then in each color sequence, you know exactly what the like, what the job entails, so you can see what you have to do to move from one color to the next. And then also in each color sequence, there are three pay pay markers where like this is beginning paid. So let's just say intern beginning pay is say, like I don't know, al let's pretend it's like fifteen bucks, and then it's like middle pay seventeen and fifty and then n pay twenty dollars an hour. So you might
come in as a brand new intern. We don't have to wonder what is the brand new intern going to make fifteen bucks? And then if they stay long enough and they do a great job, you know that the next bump up is going to be seventeen fifty. But then you, as an intern might actually get hired, and you know, oh, I'm going to go from yellow to green, and depending on where I land, I'm going to land
at maybe twenty five bucks an hour. So it makes it so everyone can kind of see what they could be making, and you can kind of guess what other people might be making, but you don't know for sure, Like everybody knows who's on the c suite, who's on the lead team, so you know, oh, the lead team is in the pink, but that's a big range. It's
like a twenty thousand dollars range there. So it gives you enough of an idea of what you could possibly be making and maybe what other people on the lead team are making, but you don't know specifically what each individual person is making.
So we created that chart.
It took us a couple of weeks to get it like perfectly tweaked, and what happens is as the company does better, we will update. So I remember one of my goals was I wanted that the lowest paid person on the team was twenty dollars an hour, and so we've been slowly but surely like upgrading the full chart. So what might happen is that you might be blue level two and you're making sixty thousand dollars a year,
but as because we've totally upgraded the chart. Now you're making sixty two thousand dollars a year because the chart has upgraded, So we're I don't, I personally feel like we're not quite paying market rate just yet because I
want to do even better than market rate. So until we get to that point, then you know, then we'll start we'll stop doing that full complete upgrade because they get individual raises, but then we do what I call like just a total company wide raises because we're wanting to, you know, do right by the people that work with us, so ways.
Can be made to make absolutely you know, yeah, and thank you for doing that, because I'm sick of people coaching people on how to negotiate salary. It shouldn't be all the pressure. I mean, in some cases, sure you should stand up for what you want, but like women and minorities, like why do we have to figure out the Rubik's cube of salary negotiations and read all these articles telling us what to ask but not to ask,
what to wear we're not to wear who like? So that you can figure out how to get paid fairly, like that should not be the way that it is. And this is what we I'm talking about when I say systems, we're trying to conform ourselves and learn how the system works. This system should work for us, Like why don't you just pay your people equitably? And I would have to sit here and guess what I think exactly.
And even it's fair because it's like, well regardless, so when someone comes in, it's not like are they making more than me? No, No, they're in that they're they're blue because they have two projects just like you, and depending on where they land, you know, and somebody might make more, but you're both blue.
So it's almost like you're part of a cohort.
And so what I do is I look at like, oh, this cohort hasn't got a raisin, while is everybody performing? That cohort moves up, But it just gives it gives me a point of reference or we're not because back in the day I just used to I guess she makes twenty dollars an hour.
I didn't even know.
So it's even it makes it easier even on the decision making side about how to pay people. So to me, systems are one of the ways that you can stamp out racial bias and bias in other ways that if people adopt systems, because people are human beings, you know, there's no I have bias, There's no way for me not to. And so that's why leading out systems is just one of the ways. But no, I think that
to me, I just I feel more hopeful. I love the fact that there are people like you out there, people like me who are out there because they're the key. We can't all divest from the system. People are going to be working for companies. So those who are working for companies, I want you to be the Mandy while you're there, you know. And so thanks Mandra.
Thanks Teff. Do you want some good breaking news real quickly? Yes, Husbe is standing in line to vote on our behalf. Because it's a long story. They are only like five voting places for the New York primary primary in mind in Town, down from sixty last time. Like anyway, the line was three hours long. But while he's there, he's sending me news alerts. The officer and the shooting death that Breonna Taylor in Louisville, Kentucky has been fired Okay,
so that's that is your update. Okay, so that one officer has been fired.
Okay, so we's got two more to go? Is it two more?
Right?
I was it three?
Yes? I believe.
Well if for those of you who don't follow Amanda Seals, she's got this awesome chart where it's like almost like her. There's almost like literally she's like check fired because the chart goes like fired, arrested, prosecuted, convicted, So she has like a check and I believe I remember seeing three faces.
So yeah, okay, indicted. And people need to understand how the system can work too. I know that this is a very long, buzzworthy and let's just let it happen because this is the one point because people, if you are voting in primaries, primary is important because it dictates who's actually going to end up on the ballot for the general election. But what you need to understand in these and with the criminal justice system, often it's the
people that you don't think about. It's judges, it's district attorneys. They're the ones who have the power to prosecute these people. So pay attention to these elections. And that's why I'm glad, you know, I'm sad that my husband's in a two hour long, two hour line, wait, two hour long line, Thank you brain forgiving me that sentence to vote right now.
But I'm excited that so many people are coming out here because you need to understand how the system works and that you can vote in a way that changes it. Because waiting until November to vote for your president, yeah, that can that can have an impact, obviously, and please, please do help get enough, But it's these other ones too, and real, real quick. Anecdote. I went to a rally near my house in I live in the suburbs outside of New York. I went to a rally in Black
Lives Matter rally was the last Tuesday. I biked over there. Ran from the baby and the husband before they gave me any reason not to, just ran. I got on my bike and ran for it, or I biked for it. And there was a man there who was sharing a story of his father who was shot by police in
my town eight years ago. And he literally could like they literally had audio of the entire murder, the police calling him the N word, and the judge in this case, the judge in the Court of Appeals decided there wasn't enough evidence to support that it was a hate crime
and did not rule in their favor. And I'm just I just want you guys to know, like the momentum right now around George Floyd's death and others that have that have been swept up in this moment, this is crucial and it's it's it's it's great that they're getting so much attention, but are there other George Floyd's in your community that need to be amplified right now? I feel at peace that the world will take Brianna and George and hopefully find justice for them. Not the world,
the nation. I'm right now fighting for Kenneth Chamberlain Senior, who was that man sixteen years old murdered by police in my town eight years ago. Learning about these cases so that I can figure out how can I help in my community with amplify the voices that maybe you're not getting nationwide attention right now. And I hope that you guys do as well, or encourage the people in your life who are trying to be allies, encourage them to do some research and help and call your local officials.
I'm sure Minneapolis and Louisville phone are ringing, not the hook, but what about your town, Like what about your district attorney? How what have they done in terms of criminal justice? And who are the George Floyd's and your community that needs to be amplified as well. Wow, I'm really up onto my soapbox today.
Oh it's good.
We planned out the show and then I was like, hey.
No, it's good.
It needs to be said.
I feel because I feel like the last few shows were just you know, we were emoting, and so now I feel like it's awesome to give people like so what to do with that energy? You know? And so I think that part it's important to get the emotion out, to feel the sadness, to feel the anger. But now it's like it's now about now what what can we do? And I feel like, yes, I love that that this is what this you know that this this episode is mostly about.
It's like, no, this is what the actual work looks like.
Work in action allyeship is an action word, right, so it's a verb.
So what does that look like?
How do you actively become an ally or just if you know, even if you are part of the community that has you know, regularly experienced a systemic racism. What does that look like on your end? What does the work look like? So no, I love.
This, I love it too. All right, shl We take a quick break though, and come back.
We shall.
All right, be right back, y'all with a boost on a break or a break or a boost, we'll see questions or question that's right, we get those two. We still have questions. We'll get to some questions.
All right, be right back.
All right, guys, we are back back with our usual segment where we take your questions again. Hit us up Brand Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com with your questions, or you can go to Instagram and direct message us. I will be there to accept your messages and hopefully we can get to one on the show. Just let us know if you want to be anonymous or not at the top of your message, so I don't read it and I have to go back and do it all over again because I said your name, sorry in advance.
That's happened to you, all right. Our first question comes from an Instagram user. We will just call her Amy. Hey, guys, my name is Amy. My friend called me yesterday seeking support and also advice selling her furniture. So she can move, and a buyer sent her a check. The check cleared, deposited into her account, and the buyer slash scammer then asked her to send money to a moving truck company via ze so the couch could be picked up. What was that?
No, And I'm just saying, oh god, I know the scam.
Oh my god. That sounded like sorry, like a scam. Like oh that sounded like blur witch project. I'm like, no, I say, oh God, I know the scam. Very welcome, Okay, I'm reading it very well. So you're just on the tip of ear, You're like on the edge of your seat. That's good, Okay, I have never heard of the scam. This is just like blow my mind, all right. The check clear deposited into her account. Then the buyer asked her to send money to the moving truck company via
zel so the couch could be picked up. The movers never came, however, my friend reached out again and the scammer did the same thing again, sent her another check, which she deposited, and then transferred money from her cash app to another moving company. Furniture was of course, never picked up, and when my friend went to review her account. The checks that looked like they had cleared had actually
been canceled. She's lost over four thousand dollars from this whole ordeal and feels really dumb slash terrible about it. She's contacting her bank and going to file whatever claim she can, but at this point the money is gone and she can't stop the transactions because Thelle recipients accepted the payment. I'm wondering if you have any other advice or step she can take. Thanks for all of you, and Tiffany do I'm a weekly podcast listener. Thank you.
Amy.
Okay, so, Tiffany, you've heard about this.
Scams because so back in the day when I was young, I'm still young, don't play me. So yeah, So back in the day when I used to do, I used to hit up Craiglist a lot because I was looking for, like to make extra money when I was a teacher. That scam it was so prevalent that I would actually go into the bank and they had like a sign up and I almost fell for it. So what happened was I saw that at Craigslist they said they were looking for a tutor. I was like, Okay, that sounds awesome.
And they sent me the money ahead of time, and they sent me let's just say, I can't remember what it was.
Maybe the tutoring was going to be.
Five hundred dollars, but they sent me a thousand dollars check and they were like, you know, deposit the money because they were a foreign exchange student or something like that, and if I could return five hundred to them.
It was weird. I just remember it being like, why are you overpaying me?
So I got the check. I remember looking at it. I remember I brought it to the bank. They were like, no, it looks like a real check. And I was like, but it.
Just seemed odd, like, Hm, why are they paying me extra?
And I guess they realized that I was feeling a little suspicious, so they actually emailed me. Was like, no, we could jump on a call, and you know, I can walk you through why I'm doing it this way, because you know, the person claimed that they were they lived in Thailand and their daughter was a student here in the US and they wanted, I guess, to give the money to her while she was here in the US. And I was like, okay. So anyway, John that was his name, called me and I wasn't looking at the
number one. I picked up the phone and I heard hello. Honestly, Mandy, I was like, one of my uncles called me because I know.
A Nigerian accent. Meanwhile, John from Thailand, and.
I was like, Uncle Tony. He said, no, this is John from Thailand. I was like, wait, well, I actually looked.
At the phone.
I'm like, I don't understand, because I thought if totally playing a joke. I was like John from Thailand.
He said, no, you don't. I gave you my check. I was like, then I was like, you know what wrong?
My damn people, I was like god started. I was like, first of all, I'm Nigerian. I could spot your accent a mile away. I can also tell that you sound emo, and I can also tell.
He was like, eh, you have their own.
Click and I remember being like so then I knew, okay, obviously this is a scam. But then the scam became so popular because the problem is is that the bank will deposit the check and it will at first look like a real check, and it will look like so they will kind of like front you the money and you know, by the time the bank finds out the check is fake you've already withdrawn the money, so it's very frustrating. Like I said it, it's huge about I
want to say, ten, fifteen, twenty years ago. It was just happening so often. The bank literally used to have signs in the actual bank.
So this is what you can do.
So the Federal Trade Commission has been hearing about the scam over and over and over, and so this is
what your friend can do. It says here on their site that if you want to learn more about what to do if you've already sent the money to a scammer, visit f for Federal t for Trade c for Commission dot gov slash gift cards, so because oftentimes they'll there'll be some sort of gift card involved, but these people were a little bit slick and having you pay them via zel to you know, to whatever fake moving company.
But that's what I would go to FTC dot gov forward slash gift cards to see what you can do, or even FTC dot gov forward slash complaint. And I don't, honestly, I don't know if you're able to get your money back.
Because I'm assuming Zell is.
Through your bank, and it's just such so unfortunate.
Well, here's the thing about Zell and people. You should really read the fine print when it comes to payment apps, because when you transfer a payment through Zell, they ask you like you're on the hook if you knowingly send money to someone and it ends up being a scam or they take the money and run away with it or whatever, because you're the one you sent it to them. I believe you are entitled to getting your money back if someone actually hacks into your account from Zell and
takes the money. But if you were the one, like your friend, actually sent it to them, it's much harder for her to make a case for getting it back from Zell. That being said, still I would I think it's a great idea that you gave her to reach out to her local representative. See if she can make some noise locally and get some pressure on the bank. Maybe they'll make an exception. Tweet about it that has worked time and time again. Tweet to Zell in the bank that she banks with, see if can be some
justice that is also moving companies. I just feel like no one's ever had a good experience with a movie. There's the root of all evil, right, am? I right moving company.
Yeah, it's just fun.
It's so much money. I just yeah, I don't, I couldn't. I mean, it's just so much money. The only thing, like I said, like the FTC does have they have a list of different organizations that you can reach out to depending on like who you how you get. I don't see ze on that list, but it it It doesn't hurt to google FTC this check scam and see
what what recourse you have. It's definitely something that the federal government is aware of and has been trying to prevent and has tried to create some solutions for.
So that's the only thing I can say.
And obviously reach out to your bank obviously, but yeah, just anybody who's ever listening. If any anyone gives you a check and ask for you to send money from that check, like ninety nine percent of the time, that's a scam unless you know that person personally, So like your mom, your sister, or your uncle, you know someone that you you like, you know, but a stranger doing that, that is they're getting slicker and slicker. And how they do that scam, Like I said, back then, it was
a lot of tutoring. That's how they would get you. I'm a foreign exchange student, you know, just send the money back. I was this close to doing it, but, like I said, because it just seemed weird.
I was like John from Thailand. John seems like a weird name from Thailand.
And so that reminded me of Ivon Orgie's hpos. If you watched her you went to her comedy show right doing that, she talks about Nigerian scammers coming for her and she's like, listen, I am not the one. Yes do better, But like, what because.
You don't under say? I was like, because he was like, no, this is John. So I put on my own accent. I was like, I look at you.
You'll call.
He was like, I was like, yeah, you thought. I was like, I can't believe it. You didn't even try to switch up your accent, Bro, who.
Are you fooling?
This is not a Tiwoodese accent. Well, I was just like, wow, the audicity so.
Third born child.
No, But I just remember thinking to myself, Wow, people really do this. Yeah, it's just it's honestly, it's it's really a shame because that's a lot of money to be out of, and you know, it's very easy to be sucked because it seems very plausible, like oh yeah, yeah,
no biggie. And plus till you think to yourself, the check cleared at the bank, so no biggie, you know, And honestly, I I banks have been more careful about those things, Like literally, I remember there was a period when I used to go to the bank if I had a check, they would ask me, is this check from your job?
Is this check from somebody that you knew?
There was a period of a few months when I guess that scam was on the rise when literally going to the bank you would get those questions. So you know, just everybody be on their their p's and q's because you know, scammers don't sleep well.
Thank you very much for your question, Amy, your good friend. You guys continue sending us your questions. Brandabisson Podcast at gmail dot com. That's up on the ground. We're at Brandambisson podcast dot Are you said that at Brannamission podcast on the gram.
Yeah, and just welcome to the new listeners. Okay, oh well we'll.
Talk about that in a minute.
Well, let's get into a brown boots, Brown Breaked and the show.
Yes, bron Boos, brom break. Are you going booze? Are you going to break? What you're gonna do? Mandy?
You see you know that's my I gotta gotta.
Go, gotta go, gotta go. Well, let's do our joint boost first. Yea, right, Yes, we were featured. Are we still featured? I haven't looked in a minute.
I don't know.
I'd say yes.
Spotify had featured us over the weekend in their by Black curated podcast section on the front page of.
Spotify and which number one?
We were number one, which is a big effing deal. And what was it? The business? It was by Black, which is highlighted and spotlighted business podcast anchored by people by black podcasters, And that was freaking amazing. I think our listenership is up like fifty percent.
That's awesome.
So hey, hey, thanks for listening.
Yeah.
I love that they featured the episode. They did too, because often like iTunes will throw us a bone and they'll feature us and curated lists. I think we're still in like their their business podcast, curated lists or whatever. But Spotify look like they actually went through and found a show that they thought would resonate with people, which was the episode where we talk about how Tiffany made her first MILLI.
Yeah, that was awesome.
I was like people were messaging me from like honestly, somebody was like someone was like, hey, I work for Facebook as you know, the marketing X y Z and.
I love your your Love. I was like what.
She was like, I love the podcast and she was like, like the fact that I said what just now because she was like she was like, I was listening to it saying what, and I was like, what does she mean that?
I realized, Oh, I say that, I did say what.
I just say what a lotuse I don't even realize, but yeah, that was Honestly, that was super awesome. Someone took a screenshot and sent it to me on Facebook and I thought, oh my goodness.
I was so excited.
That was awesome for an ambition in the wild, We've gotten a lot of love. I mean, listen, y'all want to amplify. I feel like so many people are using this moment to amplify black voices. And if we're those voices that you want to amplify, thank you very much, because you know, I hate to think it, but people do probably scroll on past our show looking to see someone they recognize in the face of their podcaster and it's a damn shame. But we really thank you guys
for the extra attention. And if you're new to the show, welcome exactly. And if you've been Rocket with the since twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen, we love y'all and thank you again. All right, Wait, do you want to go next?
Yeah, I'll do.
It's like a boosty breaky like we were just talking. It's like a boost with.
A break after taste, or break with a boost after taste.
Either way.
I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on my business coaching. So, as you know, hired a business coach just so you know, I really a little stagnant in my business and there were things that were keeping us from going to the next level. So I wanted to, you know, would it help like shifting those internal things. So I'm excited about it. So the way that coaching works is the actual coach himself. His name is Zion. He's awesome. He works with myself and my
business partner. Every other week. It's like off and like one week is just he and I individually, and he works with my business partner individually, and then the next week, it's the two of us together with his team, and then his team actually meets with my team and infiltrates.
And like helps all around.
But the work that he does with my business partner, I it's like internal work.
It's straight therapy, Barbie.
And I'm learning things about myself that I'm like, I do do that that's bad. And so here's one of those I do do that that's bad. So I remember back in the day, I told you, Mandra that I kept what I call a bully friend. I always keep a bully friend, right, yes, yes, And we.
Decided that I wasn't a bully friend. That I was nice, but like with a touch of bolek.
No, no, no, you're not a bully friend. So I realized that it's not the bully friend, which I kind of suspected it was me that instead I participate in something called the drama triangle.
Yes, do your googles.
It's awesome.
Well not really, because it's not a good thing, but it was so good to put a name to this pattern that I had. So the way the drama triangle works is then there's three points to the triangle. One of the points is the rescuer. Then the victim than the persecutor. So the rescuer is where I find myself a lot. I am a over giver. I am an over sacrificer. I mean I'll be like, Oh, you can have the last piece of chicken, even though you had five pieces and I'm starving.
I don't mind.
Oh you can have the bigger bedroom even though I'm paying more rent.
I don't mind.
Oh you can have all the covers even though I'm freezing. I don't want.
That's me always like something along somewhere along the way, I suspected my childhood. I decided that overgiving was a good thing, like saying no, no no software Tiffany girl, give me a suffer, love it right, And so so I will be the rescuer. The rescuer is like they do all the things, they help, all the things, they sacrifice, all the things, and then at some point the rescuer feels taken advantage of and they become the victim.
Then you move to the victim side of the triangle and it's like, oh my god, look how this person is treating me.
They're taking so many things for me. Oh my god, woe is me? Why is this my life. So I've been there, done that, lived in it. And then the victim starts to has enough, like you literally reach your limit and it could be months, it could be days, it could be years. For me, I like to do it for some years, so years. And then one day the victim blows up and says, no, mola, I'm stirning up for myself, and then begins to like persecute the person, like, you know.
You did this to me, You are terrible.
But honestly, the real issue is that when I'm participating as the rescuer, I fail to set boundaries. It is not someone else's I'm not too it is not.
Kind of my favorite word. I just got a tangle bound.
Right, And I was like, oh, so it is not someone else's job to magically know my boundaries. I was like, oh, so, it's not that I'm quote unquote being bullied. It's just that that person is unaware of my boundaries, and so
as I give, they receive, they're not actually necessary. Well not to say that there are not people who don't take, of course there are, but there are some people that will continue to receive as long as you continue to give, because they're of the assumption, Hey, you're an adult when you don't want to give no more your stop. I don't have a I don't have a turn off. I will keep the water running. And I'm like, wait, so you're gonna still still receive you take her, and it's
not necessarily that they're a taker. And so I wonder to myself, well, how come it's not like that with my husband? How comes not that like that with my other like my my friends? And I realized as I started to really dissect those friendships, is that Superman is a natural giver as well. He actually creates the boundary for us. So as I'm pouring into him, he will turn off the falset and say no more. So I feel like, oh, you know, look, I've set a boundary.
No no, no, you didn't set a boundary. He set the boundary for you.
And I'm like, oh, so.
I don't have I have not I don't set boundaries. I don't set boundaries. Then I feel taken advantage of. Then I blow up, and then I start to like persecute you, which really just means in my head, I'm just telling myself how terrible of a person you are, you know, which may or may not be true because there are some people who are like legitimate takers. So that is the drama triangle that I've been participating in since I was in second grade. And I'm like, and now that I'm forty, I'm like, I got.
It, so but I can know better?
You do better?
What at any age?
Yes, And honest, I'm actually really excited about it. I'll say this that probably maybe, like I don't know, seven or eight years ago, I learned how to see the mistakes that I make and not use them to tell myself it makes me a bad person, me knowing that I participate in the drama triangle and that there are some relationships that probably ended unfairly and where I could have done better. I actually I don't see that as Tiffany, You're bad. It's oh, Tiffany, that wasn't a good thing.
But I don't see it as me being a bad person. So I'm able to receive a critique and feedback without letting it hurt me like I've I don't. I think business has taught me that because you just get so much critique and feedback that you have to learn how to take it for what it is, which is an opportunity to grow and change, but not to use it as a tool to harm yourself. So I don't use
critique and feedback to harm myself. Like I could tell, Zion was waiting for me to be like, you know, like, am I going to feel bad about it?
I was like no, I was excited to put a name to this.
Cycle that I kind of innately knew that I was in but didn't have a name for it, and didn't know because I couldn't name it and be specific about it, I couldn't get out of the cycle. So he's teaching me how to be an observer of my patterns and then to break those patterns so I can do better. So I'm actually really excited. So if any of you are like me, if you have scise up, some of y'all hit me up on social and said, hey, Tiffany, just like you, I have a hard time with the
hard conversations. I don't like confrontation, and I found what that is. You don't set boundaries, and so I encourage you to google the drama triangle, get your life. It doesn't mean that you're a bad person, It just means that it's a pattern we all have patterns that we have to break, and some patterns are great and some patterns are not so great like this, So that was just like so it was like a I wouldn't even say that was really a break. It was more like
a booster. But I mean, I'm being transparent, like you know, I'm I don't I don't always show up as my best self, but I'm excited about learning how to show up better.
I think that wasn't all the way boost Yes, I'm upgrade that I have an aftertaste of positivity and feeling boosted. Actually, no, I love that, and I love that you're calling it because this is this is what we talk about in therapy. I mean, is what I talk about in therapy is the patterns like I come with I have. I'm so self aware of the things that I've been doing my whole life to protect myself and to become the person I am today and be successful and how like it's
sort of how my therapist has told me. Sometimes you fall in love with people, whether it's a friend or a significant other or a colleague at work, the reasons that you fall in love with them are often the reasons why you end up hating them, like and how anyway and how that can influence patterns in your life. And it's it's eye opening stuff. It's too bad that you can't use your FSA card to pay for this this business therapy.
I know, but I'm pretty I'm excited because so it's like two hardcore bus but after this, I mean, i know, I've been saying I need a therapist, but it's really just like confirmed, Like Tiffany, you can get to the meat and potatoes or what's happening much faster and get
the tools that you need to make life easier. Because I literally had me look at every single relationship and see how I recreate the dry I'm gonna try and go in those relationships that allow me to because that person is like, girl, I'm not setting your boundaries.
You're grown, you know.
I'm like, oh, so I'm something in me. I will just say this is that I'm just so so grateful that I had a little bit of the sense that God gave me in picking a partner that did set boundaries, or I would be a miserable somebody, you know, like because the boyfriend I had before it would have just been it.
Would have been terrible.
We would have it would have been victim, persecution, divorce. But because Superman is like just really good at setting those boundaries and he said he's an overgiver as well. We have an awesome relationship, but I want to you know, I want to do better because it can even be even better. Like, honestly, i was looking at like my relationship with super Girl and I'm.
Like, ah, it's the job a triangle. Yikes, Like let'd be like I just so much. Why didn't she like me?
I'm a victim? You know what, Maybe she's just ungrateful.
Now, girl, you don't say boundaries like you don't say boundaries.
That's not your father, it's a child.
And I know that, you know, Like we have a decent relationship, but there will be moments when I'm like, what am I doing wrong?
You're in a volmill, try and go, that's what.
You're doing wrong, and so like, yeah, it just I just feel so good about it. I'm just like, yes, I've just been just just that one conversation with him. I'm just like I feel like, even though it's only been like a week, I just feel like I see relationships differently and I'm more mindful of like like how I'm participating and like the role that I play in them.
So yeah, So what about you?
What's your Boosty?
Breaky loves it. I'm so excited to hear more about this business coaching real quick. My boost is going to be I'm gonna skip. Let's talk about mortgage refinance next week. How about that? Okay, because I will have more to say, but I am refrainsing my mortgage and pray for me. I'm hoping that it goes well anyhow, Real quick boost for rename Grady hashtag renamed Grady. This is the unofficial official task force that I accidentally joined from my alma mater.
He created a grassroots campaign to not only strip my journalism school that I graduated from of the name that it's the of the man that it was named for, because he was a white supremacist and extremely racist and is quoted saying terrible things about the black race and actively worked against our success as a people in the
New South. As he called it, strip the name the strip to college of that name, but then also rename it with a name that we think it truly symbolizes the way forward for the college and that is to name it for Charlene Hunter Galt, who you may not she's not a household name, but in Georgia she's a huge deal because she was one of the first two black students to integrate the University of Georgia, where I went to school, and this is the first public college
in the country, so it's a big effing deal. This was in the nineteen early nineteen sixties, so Charlene, excuse me, it's still with us today and we had a bit of a win. So the people who hold the power to all the names of schools across the state of Georgia's public institutions is a Board of Regions and they have now formed a task force or sorry in an advisory committee of their own to not just look at this school's name, but all of the schools across the
university system of Georgia. So this is this is a small win one. They didn't acknowledge why they were doing it, other than the fact that oh, all of a sudden they have a big change that or petition you know, wanting and people are pushing for these colleges to be you know, renamed and or just taken, you know, remove the names of these white supremacists that are affiliated with them, but they formed an advisory committee, so that is one step in the right direction. But now, like I said earlier,
it's about accountability. So if you have started your own campaign, or you see campaigns from your school or other institutions that have symbols of white supremacists, or they are named for white supremacists or people who genuinely worked against all the values that we hold dear to ourselves today many people do, such as inclusivity and equal access to education
and success no matter your race. I would say how to hold them accountable is to not let them put out a pressure release saying that they're going to look at the problem and keep asking so what are you going to do about it? Because acknowledging, like I said earlier, saying you have a problem, you don't get a cookie for telling me that you know you have a problem.
It's like, what are you going to do? So it really it gave us a small win, but it also like lit the fire under our bellies to keep pushing, keep pushing, because they're looking at potentially removing the names of all these colleges that are named for these you know, historical figures that have problematic pass but are they renaming them? And if they are, can we have a seat at the table so that we can really push to get
Charlayne's name. To have a college named after a black successful woman like that is rare and I really really want to see it happen, So.
That would be awesome.
I love her, and she's just she's just she's amazing, She's a she's a hero to any black student who's ever walked through the University of Georgia and what she had to endure. I mean, it's anyway, love her and and we want to see this happen. And so shout out to the whole you know, grassroots team who's working together. I'm about to go work on our social media as soon as this podcast is over. But it feels good to do something small, not something small.
But something bigful.
Yeah, something meaningful, and in another area where I feel like I have a little bit of influence.
Yay, found up.
Applause for me renamed Grady, join the movement. You don't have to know who Grady is or Charlayne, just retweet.
No, but that's that's awesome.
Tag me and if you because you know, you tag me in a in a story, I can I can repost it, you know.
How it's like sharious share the story.
Yeah, tag me the story, and now all we share its my folks, and it's become quite a good tradition at the end of the show. You know, I've been giving you guys like idea accounts that either tickle me or like, you know, just move me. So here's one that's been tickling me. It's called Karen's Going Wild. I mean you could just k no. I think it's called Karen's Going Wild, which you can almost imagine what that is. So just draw your own conclusions if you need a
little giggle, you're like, Lord have mercy. So yeah, back when someone tagged me in that, and I just I've been watching some of the videos like, well look at this foolishness. So that is my IG account for the for the week, Karen's going.
Wild, Bless your heart. Someone sent me Karen's in the Wild, which is like an I think it's probably similar, but.
That's probably they've been popping up.
I find Karen so triggering. I can't I can't watch.
It's just because with a person actually like digs that behind right back, like Karen, which you're not going to do it.
So I look for those I'm like, yes, you tell.
Them, yes, absolutely, Karen's going wild. Oh god, if you see call the Karen's out. We just need to you need to have done with them, all right. I did follow what was wardy talk?
Yes, and she's lasting.
She's really awesome, yeah, really funny and not funny, but just real. I love how real her. She reminds me of my approach to social media, which is just come as you are, who cares, say what's on your heart? And she broke down what did she break down? Oh the white savior in film. And I sent that right to my mother and my sister because they are just blessed their hearts. They're just soaking up every piece of education they can about about white privilege. And they enjoyed it too.
Yeah, yes, Wordy Dot Talk.
And then the other one before that was Tony Baker comedy just because you just need a giggle.
He's hilarious.
So Karen's gone wild, and I think that's cute to end the show with. You know, an ig account that brings you to some joy, some upliftment, some laughter or otherwise, or education, so Hi manage all right, be real