Top 10 Loser Lines of 2025

All right, we're going to take you on a wild ride today. Oh yeah, that is just all there is to say about it.

Welcome to the Second Date podcast, and today is something you've never heard before. If this is the only podcast you listen to. Two of ours this is Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, of course.

But it's called the Loser Line.

Yes, yeah, and we do it once a week on our main feed, Brook and Jeffrey. We've been giving out a fake phone number to our listeners for literally over a decade. And once you have the Loser Line phone number, which is actually even gone viral on Reddit. Do you remember when that happened to ruined it?

It doesn't go.

It goes straight to our voicemail here at the station, and then we get to play the weird, creepy messages that people leave. Yea, So this is a compilation of the best of the year. Yes, I think we're all on the same page now hopefully.

And if you guys don't get it, you will once you hear it. Yeah, okay, thanks very shortly.

Let us know what you think, of course in the comments. Your top ten loser lines of twenty twenty five, Starting right now.

It's almost the end of the year before we can put some flowers on this thing and lower it down into the ground forever. There is one all important tradition that we have to do on this show. Right You can't see us right now, but all the boys are dressed in our fancy tuxedos, I was wondering, and the women are in floor length ball gowns that will turn back into moo moos at the stroke of twelve.

Yeah, Brook's got like a fourteen cigarette. Yes, she always does.

Because we're celebrating the best Loser line voicemails of the past year. We've come through them all, selected our top ten favorite ones. We're gonna play them for you next, it's Broken Jeffrey in the Morning, And wow, can you believe almost an entire year has gone by and not really too much exciting has happened. I mean, TikTok was shut down and then relaunched, and then shut down and then relaunched again.

That feels like a life time ago.

Just this year, Katie Perry went to space and then cried when she was forced to come back to Earth.

Everyone else cried when she came back.

Yeah, there's a.

Sad moment and of course Coldplay concerts became the number one hot spot for extra marital affairs.

Other than that, though pretty average year.

Maybe the craziest thing, though, is that we are still on the air.

How did that happen?

Let's do it?

I mean, we have to give some credit to the people who truly deserve it, the randos who called the Loser Line and left some of the craziest, cringiest, most absurd messages that we've ever received, not just from desperate dudes, but the ladies too. And this was tough because I spent a good couple hours yesterday with producer Boy just combing through all of our audio to create the top ten list of the best Loser Line messages of the year.

So we got to get to it. Let's listen to number two.

Mark small Food.

Hey Brooklyn, Uh sorry, don't mind the water sounds. I'm just in the shower right.

Now, getting ready for work.

Got a lot going on.

But tried this a few months ago where lately I've been trying to multitask, you know, call people while I'm tackling other chores, and you just happen to fall on shower time.

So lucky you.

But yeah, anyway, just.

Kind of a life pack doing multiple things at the same time.

Like did you know you can.

Buy one of those wireless USB toasters where you can actually post in your car. That's cool, right, I'm trying to get a hot plate that.

I can rest on my glove compartment to make cakes too.

So I could knock got the whole breakfast me on my commute, But I should probably go. The water's getting cold right now.

Text you around lunch by Marna.

This is why I keep saying they should install showers in this room. Yeah, so that Brooks can't avoid them anymore and we can still do our jobs while getting clean at the same time.

I'm just glad that he combined his toaster with his car and not with a shower. Yeah.

I know.

You got to be careful when you're multitasking. It could turn deadly.

There's a way broke, trust me. If anybody will find it, this guy will. Now we're on to the number nine loser line message of the past year.

Let's hear it.

All right, stop, Look, I got a confession. Want to take you out? Yeah, that's my obsession plan the chill not crazy dinner in the movie You're feeling lazy?

Will it be fun?

Oh yeah, you bet?

Popcorn and last till I go in the debt Frondie Bob, but I'm shooting my shot. Say yes, now, girl, let's see what we've.

Got A ask baby, will you go wow? Will you go wow? Will you go? Please? Please date me?

Trouble girl?

Whoa yeah, so I am pretty wild as you will find.

He The cringiest part of that whole message is brook dancing in your chair.

I want to go back to the early two thousands where we're all leaving like funny voicemail like that.

I bet his was epic.

If you say so, we're gonna keep moving on. We're going to our number eight loser line message of the year.

Next message.

Hey, you may not remember me, but I'm my mom was the one hitting on you.

The other night at the Sizzler.

And look, I know this is probably weird, but I went into her phone and I got your number because I just need to tell you.

Do not date her.

Okay, I love my mom, She's great and all that good stuff, but I'm in the process of trying to hook her back up with my biological dad and I really just cannot have you getting in the way at this point, they do belong together, and like my dad says, he's confused actually or whatever, but I do not believe that's true at all. So, yeah, you seem really nice and all that good stuff, but I really just need you to back office message.

I like that she's forcing it no matter what.

Yeah. Yeah, take off that mesh tang top and go kiss mo.

Yeah, but if you're just joining us. We have been counting down the top ten loser line voicemails that we received in the past calendar year. Already getting pretty weird with him. Let's see what we have in store. Ranked for number seven.

Next message.

Oh god, oh my god, God, and I just stelt tea on me. Got done it. Damn cheap ass coffee cups for my daughter in law. I know I shouldn't use the Oh my god, I got a zoom call with a client coming up in two minutes, So now I got to try to salvage my work pants.

Oh hold on, stupid.

Pants, forget it, it's just it's not working. I'm just gonna have to change pants.

I'll call you later.

I remember.

It is funny to think though, that this whole thing, this whole segment started as we'll give our listeners this fake phone number and they can hand it out to anybody who's hitting on them. That's a little bit weird when they don't want to give their real number two. But now it's morphed into this whole new thing and people are giving it to their quirky coworkers, or they're strange an or if you hit a parked car. It's really come a long long way since we first started.

It's impressive that people can give it to family members.

Yes, and we don't discourage it either.

No, No, I didn't say that.

Jack.

More content, the merrier, and let's keep moving on to find out what your number six loser line voice smell of the Year is.

Hi.

I'm the slight guy, you know, the guy that was the Pepperoni costume outside of Mars Pezzia Play. I don't usually give a lot of numbers this way, but that's okay.

I wanted to.

Take you out sometime, and I promise I won't spill any sauce on you unless you want me to. I h I feel like I should probably apologize when I shouted stay chievy. That was stupid, But listen I'm eighteen, by the way, so don't worry. Sometimes people can't help from the costume.

But I'm legal.

That doesn't turn you on. Where a guy shouts I'm legaliz, he's definitely like that was his first job, spinner.

I think that was his first interaction with an adult.

He's aiming high. Let's give him credit for that.

And we've made it from number ten all the way to number six on our list. We still have the top five best Loser Line messages of the year. Who we will have the honor of being named the number one cringiest phone call we received, and it is an It is an honor we're gonna find out as we continue the countdown of the best loser Line calls of the year.

We'll do it right after this. It's Brook and Jeffery in the morning.

And if you're just joining us, we've been counting down the top ten loser line voicemails of the past year. It is and it wasn't easy to pick our favorites because there's just so many good ones to choose from and we can't play them all unfortunately.

Ah, that would be crazy tho.

If we're like a top thousand, Yeah, we're gonna be here for three days.

Buckle in.

But no, we've made it from number ten to number six. Heard some pretty weird ones already, like a guy bragging about multitasking while taking a shower at the same time, a woman who spilled some hot tea onto her pants and tried to vacuum it up.

A lot of people taking their clothes off.

Yeah, I like it, a lot of action, and a dude dressed as a pizza slice who swears he's legal never yeah, Universal, It's gonna be pretty hard to beat those, but we are going to try. Because let's move on, we're gonna get to your number five favorite loser line voicemail of the year.

We call it the Corn Council Guy.

Hi, my name is Ron Green.

I was told to call this number at this time so I could give my audition to be the automated phone voice for the County Corn Council. Yes, I'll just give a quick sample, So thank you for calling the County Corn Council. Where Corn is our passion. To report a related emergency, Press one for pharm tours. Press two to learn more about our annual Corn Festival. Press three to speak with a certified Corn representative. Please press four. Thank you, and I have a corntastic day.

Yeah.

Sorry, I've never set like a script or anything, so I just kind of like freewheeled it. I feel like I went well, but I.

Well up.

Yeah, unless you got that job.

I wish I could press three to learn more about the annual Corn Festival. Like, I'm genuinely curious now if you.

Told me there was more than just one option, very extensive options.

Yeah, very ambitious young man. I'm so glad he called.

But now we're inching closer to number one on our list. Let's go to our number four loser line.

Message of the good.

Hi, Jasmine, it's uh. I did that that church seminar on abstinence.

The other week.

I was one of the speakers on abscidence. So anyway, Yeah, it was cool meeting you there, and I was just wondering if you want to maybe grab dinner sometime with me, you know, and just hang And yeah, I know it's probably weird that the abstinence guy is asking you out, but let's just say there's ways to get around all that, if you know what I mean. Then, I mean, look, we don't have to do what I'm thinking about doing.

Let's put it that way, So give me a call.

Why are the abstinence loophole people always the ones that are the creepiest?

Yeah, yeah, just.

Don't do it.

Just joining us.

We're counting out the top ten loser line voicemails of the past calendar year.

And remember we are up on YouTube.

There's a video of us listening and reacting in studio every single.

Week to these. I'm waving right now, right now too live.

So just type in Brook and Jeffrey on YouTube for your chance to subscribe. Now let's keep the list going. On to our number three loser line voicemail of the year.

Hey, ol, Rivia, it's just wanted to call and say thanks again. Appreciate you out that rash I had on the back of my neck. You know, I initially thought it was just dangers, so I'm glad you said something to me. I got it checked out and the doctor says it's just the keep induced fungo bloom, which apparently is totally common guys who wear a lot of fleets and warm climates.

H I got some fungo.

Cream and seems to be taking care of it, and it was not nearly as bad as the ring where I caught last summer. But hey, that's how you learn right. Don't drink expired kombucha. Anyways, the rash is pretty much gone, so if you want to hang out again, just give me a call and let's put the fun in fungle.

If there was ever a poster boy for oversharing, no one has ever hooked up after saying fungal bloom.

I think you should take your hooded sweatshirts off?

Is that why I'm I can't take my swe.

Remember we're doing our top ten loser line countdown of the year, playing our favorite voicemails that we've received.

We're on to number two. Now, let's listen.

I'm at Shelly, how are you that pirate captain looking car?

I know you've never heard his.

Voice before, but I had a wheeled.

Talk with your friend before I left see you the bar.

She says, you only go for guys with accents. Well, I wouldn't have a rat chance and a gally of saracrafts. Otherwise, So how do you like the accents now, Shelly, Yeah, let's sail the Seven Seas together, or at least.

Go to the movies and maybe Sheriff Smooth.

Maybe we can see something that's rated.

Are is kissing a pirate? Hot girls? Or does that sound like gross?

I don't know, Jack Sparrow, I mean.

Yeah, how are you not mentioning the boat?

Yeah?

Stand up?

But now we've made it. Finally, we are here at the number one loser line of twenty twenty five, and I don't even know if I want it to happen, because then it'll be over.

Yeah, I love them.

All good things have to come to an end. But this is an instant classic. The number one loser line we called the Great Alphonso.

Yeah it is method.

Hey, this is a great Alphonso, the birthday magician from the kids Party on Sunday Night with the purple vest I make up you get anyway, I'm off the clock now. Thanks for not writing me out to the host mom about the flash. She seems like a piece of work. So I don't normally do this, but it's just I felt like you and I had this kind of a thing happening right around when I did the foam rabbit popping out of the Prinkle's can. I heard deal a half and I don't know, but you just seemed like

Wow, she missed out.

That would be Alfonso, will deliver some stories.

Oh yeah, don't worry. I saved his number for the end of the year party.

I actually already.

My favorite part is him being like, dude, she caught me with a flask, but she's the crazy one.

She's got rob.

You know those mobs, those were your top ten loser line voicemails of again, go find them on our socials at Brook and Jeffrey. Find us on YouTube, subscribe and like and do all the things there. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning