Textual Healing: Mass Text Madness

Hey, thanks for finding the Second Date Update podcast. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. Yes, and today we actually do every Thursday a little something different than we do on our show. We're going to give you a brand new textual healing in just a moment, but first we have to revisit yesterday's Second Date because apparently Horny Botanical Gardens.

Really really struck a chord with a lot of our listeners.

Oh my gosh, I was reading the textboard and like I'm scrolling right now and there's at least like five.

People asking for Vanessa's number.

Oh my god.

Okay, and then no, I love these one says I've never done that in a botanical garden, but I did get a chick in a park. Oh okay, a lovely park out here, and this one is a good one.

Hey, Brook and Jeffrey.

I had a very successful hookup in the men's bathroom at the Botanic Gardens. Unfortunately it was interrupted by another man and his kid coming into the bathroom, so my boyfriend and I had to run out while he was in the toilet.

It was sexy, though none of that sounds sexy to me, but I'm just gonna have to take your word for it. Disturbing so much was going down at the Botanical Garden.

TAA gardens parks.

Yeah, I can never look at them the same anymore?

Or kid?

What?

Yeah?

All right, Hey, we.

Love your comments. Leave them off with this one too.

It's your brand new textual healing starting right now.

We've all seen the YouTube videos of city council meetings where a bunch of stuffy up type people are discussing things like traffic signs and size restrictions on your trash cand lids.

Yea, I usually don't hit play on those, but okay, yeah.

Yeah, fair. They do get pretty boring and sometimes one email can help spice things up a little bit. And oh boy, did that happen at an HOA meeting recently? One sassy email has sparked a very awkward situation between neighbors. And now we're getting roped into the drama. You're gonna hear the shady text that started it all in a brand new textual healing that's coming up next. Text you will heal then textual It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

Yeah, we're kind of like that back alley clinic that you get botox from.

Right.

I don't know what clinics you like to visit, Brooke.

But I'm just thinking of the doctor analogy.

Sorry, you don't believe in doctors. Yeah, but perfect message is kind of the strong word for it. A workable one is what we're after here. Something that helps achieve what you want while hopefully preserving your dignity in the process. And writers block for text messaging.

Yeah, good analogy.

Yeah, I should have gone with that one instead of the doctors chat GPT when you have exactly We've got a woman on the phone looking for some tender textual healing today. Her name is Samantha. So, Samantha, welcome to the show.

He there.

Did you specifically ask for tender or is that a jeff thing?

I mean, I think she appreciates it.

I mean we like to start tender and gentle, and then we can get firmer and more aggressive as this goes on. But let's start by having you tell us what your situation is, Samantha, and how we can help heal you. Textually, I screwed.

Up big time, totally, totally. I'm on an h A board, So you know what that's like.

Okay, volunteered to be on the board.

What was I thinking?

You were chasing? The power that comes with it is a lot of power.

You needed to have called us before you made that choice.

Okay, so something involving your.

Well, what happened was we have this one board member and he does these lengthy, long winded wordy emails that go on and on and on and on. You know, I get to the point, make it short and simple. I screamshotted one and I put a caption on it. It said, will someone please take his keyboard away? Exclamation point. I was going to send it to another board member that we both kind of had this like running joke there, but it went to the entire complex.

No, there even people who were on the h A board.

Yes, yes, including the person that I was referring to.

My goodness, oh, and is it too late to say you got hacked? Okay, very specific joke.

Yeah yeah, I mean what were the emotions that you were feeling when you realized you had sent it out to the entire complex?

It was like, oh, you said that, my heart sunk and tell.

Us that story?

What did I do?

I mean, I feel really bad? And I mean it was like, I think I first noticed it when I started getting these emojiss Oh I got, I got the little popcorn and the big eye.

I'm here for the showoji people.

OHMG, type one? You know?

No, wait, did he write back to the guy you were talking about right back?

No? No, nothing from him, But I mean I'm sure he read it.

Okay, So obviously that's a really awkward situation to find yourself in. And now you've emailed our show for help. What are you wanting to do with your text here?

I mean, I want to apologize. I want to take accountability to what I did.

So we're going to be texting him.

Yes, I want to text him directly.

Okay, yeah, Okay, we'll make sure. Don't you sure you don't want to double down on what you said in a joke?

Breaking his house steels laptop if you prefer.

Do you think we follow it up where you just text him a thing like it's the second part of your joke. It's like, would somebody take this keyboard away and give this guy a microphone?

Yeah?

Yeah, MVP with a little gold star more for.

God?

Has anyone in the room actually had a situation like this happened where you accidentally sent out a mass email with something incriminating in it.

I accidentally was talking crap about my sister to my mom and I didn't know she was on the email thread.

Okay, and what did you do in that situation?

Bro? I immediately called and apologized.

Okay, we're not calling it. Yeah, do a call.

Well, I mean she was mad at me for a while.

Can we take any lessons from what you said and apply it to this situation?

I mean, I think the lesson is you just have to know that you're in the wrong, like that you messed.

Up, So tell the guy he messed up wrong. No, okay, she needs to accept accountability. How does she say that? Though?

What are you most worried about?

You're worried about hurting his feelings or you're worried about it being awkward?

With him later, like are you even sorry for what you said? Or you just sorry that you got caught?

Well, you know, it's something I would have said to a friend, like oh here he goes again. Yeah, I mean I do want to apologize. I didn't mean to pray a joke at his expense.

Right right, right, or embarrass him in front of other people, right and exactly?

Okay, you give advice in her own words, But you're the age away. Aren't you supposed to sound boring? Like aren't you supposed to start with like you may have been at tentative to a text message yesterday. Yeah, I think in most situations that would apply. But for this, we're gonna have to be a little bit heartfelt, something sincere, and make it seem like she really means it. So what we have to start crafting?

Now?

What are we going to type to this guy?

I think the first thing you need to do is figure out if he saw it.

You need to say, oh my god, I accidentally send an email to everyone.

Did you see it?

Pretty interesting email thread we had yesterday? Huh? I like that that's just fishing around. You're not even pointed with it. I kind of like that, what do you think.

Samantha, You know, I just know that if I call attention to it, even if he didn't see it, then he's gonna go love.

Then he will go yeah, those.

Have you had a chance to check your why?

And then he goes to chat And honestly, maybe that's what he needs, and maybe you.

Could play it off as a joke if he has seen it. It's like, oh, I was actually gonna send that just to you, like it was going to be an inside joke between you two, but I accidentally send it to everybody.

I like that, Samantha. I think you gotta go with that one.

Okay, let's see.

So I mean, maybe start with, hey, did you see the email yesterday that everybody's don't say that.

Everybody everybody's laughing at you. Honestly, I liked Jose's thing, be like, whoa pretty crazy text thread that the group had going yesterday.

Maybe something to lighten it, like what about a yike's face that's actually not the big eyes.

That's accepting some responsibility. Let's start writing that, Okay, Samantha.

Okay, every time I hear about Hy's I'm so glad I've never lived with one.

Samantha, did you send it?

Okay, how are you feeling?

I'm nervous about okah.

Sometime we have to just react to whatever he says.

Now I wanted to answer or not.

He doesn't, but just double checking you did send it to him and not to the.

Okay, learned.

I think. So we've ripped the band aid off. We've started the initial stages of our apology. Will come back and continue it with more textual healing to the weird guy from HOA. Right after this hold on, we're in the middle of textual healing with our listener, Samantha, who's trying to fix a big whoopsie that she made because she's on an HOA board with one particularly passionate member who writes super long winded, detailed emails.

It's just kind of a lot, yes, generally very on top of things, too much so, so she basically screenshoted one of his longer messages and put a caption on it saying, well, someone please take his keyboard away, and.

Meant to send it to just one of her friends, didn't realize it went out to the whole group, including the guy that she was poking fun at. Pretty much accident. Now she feels terrible about it, wants to apologize to him and make it right, but have it come across soundings and see her and not just performative. So we suggested, why not gauge and just see if he even saw it first. So we put out a feeler text that said,

I am like, actually nervous about what he's going to say.

Mad.

Yeah, Well, we don't even know if he did respond, so let's find out. Samantha, did you get a message back from the dude?

Sure?

Did like that?

What did it say?

It is? Yeah? I guess from now on I will keep my emails under twelve paragraphs for you. I'll then signed it with a middle finger emoji.

Oh kidding at first?

Oh, I thought he was taking constructive criticism.

Well, okay, that was a sarcastic twelve paragraph dude.

I'm sorry he's still kidding. But the middle fingers back out of.

All the emojis, that is the most aggressive.

Yeah, I mean, we've never suggested anyone to use it on here. Yeah, we suggest did a lot of emojis for people to.

Type out, so we should suggest it more.

Maybe he's saying you're number one, and he's.

Okay, I mean, how are you taking his text Samantha?

I mean I feel bad. It's like I really need to definitely go in with the full apologies. Okay, Okay, I got yeah, I gotta, I gotta do it.

I mean, I think it's more important that you just come across with something pretty sincere about like I'm super sorry. And maybe you could even compliment him to try and backtrack.

Yeah, I mean you can't.

You can't do an honest compliment. You can say like.

You take a lot of time to do the email.

And we appreciate the passion that you have. You're one of the reasons this place is running so well.

Yeah, I have a secret crush on you. Well, you know, let's find the line you keep me running to.

Okay, start with your own apology. I think that has to be in your words.

Yeah, yeah, Well, I definitely like the thing about like you do a good job and you put a lot into it. Shows. It's just sometimes if they're long.

No, no, no, and then you say it what a jerk.

You are, and I am such a jerk. I didn't mean for everyone to see that.

Yeah, I like that.

Okay, so why don't you let's send the apology text and hopefully that'll help soften him a little bit.

Okay, dude, you're about to get so many A two A fines if this doesn't go.

He's going to be all over your property with like measuring tape, taking photos and everything is there while we're waiting for him. Is there any other gesture you can do? Are you a good like baker or like you could you drop cookies off? Yeah, that's like kind of neighborly.

That's a good idea.

That's what you meant hand gestures that you could do back.

Yeah, okay, wait wait wait it's popped.

Okay, it popped bubbles? Oh okay, pop pop.

Okay, Okay, here's what he says, wrote something, Go ahead. I showed your text to my therapist.

Oh no, it.

Says I have a tendency to trust loud women with wine breasts, So it makes sense.

What what?

Wait?

I highly doubt a therapist said that.

Yeah. He's trying to yeah, yeah, to make you feel It's like.

A passive aggressive insult to her that she drinks too much wine and that.

She's maybe I should get him a bottle of wine.

That's funny, but clearly his feelings were hurt by it. So he's taking whatever chance that he can to get out his emotions and try.

And get even jump out a wine bandwagon. And you're right, I was drunk.

Yeah, that's actually honestly, Yeah.

I love it. I love it.

That'd be a good way to disarm him, because he can't be mad at you if you're literally taking what he's giving you.

So I admit it. I had to make.

A ten am text and you can even do a little wine glass emoji. But I think afterwards, really double down on the apology, like seriously though, like I do sincerely apologize. I feel terrible.

Threw it up and I feel really bad.

I think a lot of people feel you. But so you sent the text, Yeah, I got it.

Great, So okay, let's see how this one goes over.

Is there anyone that everyone on the HA hates, you know, sometimes everybody needs a common enemy.

Or is it him?

Yeah?

I mean, if if he.

Doesn't like someone, you should say you wouldn't believe the meme I sent about Lois or you know, wants.

To start like high school drama and keep the guy sip going. You want to talk to cry about somebody.

There isn't enough drama on these boards anyhow.

We're trying to put out the flames here. So are you seeing anything from him?

It's mate here it is.

We're getting pops.

See what we got, she says, Okay.

We love what a picture with the flip phone.

For some reason, in all honesty, I showed my wife and she kind of agreed with you.

That's a sweet response from him. He's actually coming to the middle.

But I did not expect that, So don't feel bad. I'm sticking to bullet points from now on.

That guy came from the middle finger back to this.

Yeah. I think this is success, definite least success.

Yeah, and he took your constructive criticism on his long winded email to his wife.

He's probably so happy he's gonna stop emailing.

Ye oh my okay, So I feel like at this point we're good.

You shut up.

Now you need to write her back one more time.

I just say, yeah, I'll be dropping off a bottle of wine for you and your wife.

You should still do you know what I mean.

I definitely will do that, definitely.

Just don't show up already drinking someone. I'm so sorry. I'm not drinking wine. I'm drinking vodka. Okay, So if you send that, then we're gonna call it good.

Okay, Samantha, Okay, this is a win win, and I get shorter emails on top of it.

Successful edition of textual Healing. Please nobody else from Hoa's text in.

Jeffrey in the Morning, Freaking Jeffrey in the Morning.

Why do I feel like our listener Samantha and that dude's wife are gonna instantly hit it off, and they're gonna hang out and high five each other, and the wife's gonna start going in on the husband too.

That's gonna be why yes one Wednesday's girl.

Yeah, oh my god, you think his emails are bad, At least you don't have to sit through his dumb slideshow presentations after we get back from a vacation.

God, well, you.

Could tell by how quickly he shrank away from his middle finger text.

Then he's been beaten down before.

Yeah, guy, he's trying to clap back at the woman who's come after him, and he never comes out of yeah and no. But you know what, if you want to, I give you full permission to talk crap about all of us if you hit subscribe on the podcast right now.

Send the link of this podcast to everybody you know and tell him how terrible it is.

Yeah, so god. That guy Jeff too. His voice is so sultry and masculine.

Ugh, that's not insulting, you thought, Well

Whatever insult you want to come up with,