Textual Healing: Let's Get This Goat Show On The Road

Hey, welcome to your weekend, and it is your second Date Update podcast here with Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. But every Sunday we give you something a little different that we do. Yeah, and today is a textual healing. If you haven't heard this segment, it's basically when a listener is stuck in a text conversation or doesn't know how to respond, and we step in help and you're.

Texting them live like wow on the phone with us. Yes, they're replying back and forth. Yes, yes, we're.

Kind of texting their friend.

Yeah, and today is all about group chat drama love. So Jose, before we get into it, what emoji would you use to describe today's textual healing?

It would have to be the goat emoji.

Oh yeah, Okay, you about to know because it's starting right now.

There's always a moment in every scary movie where the super hot blonde slaps her boyfriend on his strong, muscly arm and she says, stop it, Danny, you're scaring me. And then Danny turns around and suddenly, oh god, he's a werewolf, and well, might feel a little bit dramatic, little cliche. One of our listeners is worried that she may be caught in a similar scary turnaround situation. And it all started when she was accidentally added to a group chat where she didn't know anybody and decided to

That's really need to set the bar.

You don't have to stretch and use your hands. You can use whatever you want to do. That is true. Any part of your body is totally fine.

That's what you mean.

Yeah, I don't know it's up to you and who's sliding into our inbox for a little textual TLC. A request just came in this morning from one of our listeners named Alana, who says she's in a little bit of a bad spot. So Alana walk in to the show.

Yeah, hey, thanks for having me.

You're like God, Producer Boyd is probably opening stuff because Jeff doesn't get to anything for weeks.

Yeah, I mean that's a quick turnaround. Is it like an emergency? Is that why you emailed this morning?

Yeah, it's a little timely.

I would say, Okay, it is so Alana, it's set in your email because it was passed on to me that you were recently added into a random group chat, like by accident.

I don't know. I don't know any of the numbers, but I was just kind of in the mood to play long and.

I like joke around in the group chat when back the scammer that I'm like, yes, I will send your money. I'd be the guy on Thanksgiving, like remember the viral guy who years ago I remember and he like went over to her house.

She was like a grandma, And now he goes over to her house.

Every Yeah, yeah, yeah, so this must be why our producer gave me the screenshots of the conversation. You must have sent it.

To him, Yes, yes, yes, okay.

I'll just I guess read the conversation that happened. The first message, just to recap, was Hey, everyone, just making sure we're set for Saturday. Another person writes yep, can't wait, and a third person responds, this year is gonna be wild lol.

Fin.

That's when Alana joins the chat and she writes, ha ha, yeah, totally gonna be epic.

Oh. I like, okay, you're not even like you're just.

That's a perfect way to blend in your because you're agreeing, you're forwarding, like you see part of the girl.

He's followed up with, please share pictures from last year because I want to know what it is.

Yes.

The conversation continues. They start casually referencing stuff, but it's kind of vague what they're saying. Like Person one says, hope nobody gets too crazy like last time, dot dot dot. Person two says l M a O not naming names, but someone in caps almost lost a tooth. Oh my gosh. Person three still banned from that Applebee's ha ha like the and then Alana jumps in again. She says, no goats this year, please. Alana said that don't understand a lot of goats.

So I just thought it was funny, like kind of random, uh, you know, like goats are always in the frat movies or things get out of control, so I just like went for it.

Usually the cops arrived shortly after the goat show up, so.

And she could always say I meant greatest of all time.

Yeah, that's true. The chat continues. Person two says, omg, we should get a goat exclamation exclamation down. Person one says I know a guy with a barn we could borrow.

Okay.

Person three bigger fence, fewer lawsuits than Alana writes, lo ol barns.

Yeah, I know.

I was saking that maybe they were in their early twenties until somebody brought in lawsuits and then I'm like, well, yeah, all the.

Crowd, and then person one says, I'm serious, I will call during lunch. Okay, So now this is it's getting a little bit strange with the goats and the barn talk.

Maybe getting into the organization for the Florida Games.

Hey, I thought it was just crazy yoga retreat. You know they yoga barn.

I could see that. Alana, Do you have any idea what they could be talking about?

Honestly, I have no ideas. My mind goes to a few different places. I kind of want to know more, but if it gets even weirder, maybe I don't want to know more. I don't know.

I think you should get an invite to whatever this is and show up, because it'd be like one of those viral moments, right, yeah, do it for the plot?

Basically, yeah, you got to.

I mean, this is definitely different than most of the textual healings that we do, where we have an obvious problem and we're trying to help them fix the problem. In this case, Alana is just curious what's going on with this random chant?

Oh?

I have an idea. Are we ready to text a group?

What do you think?

What if she texts.

In, Oh my god, you guys, I lost the information. Can you resend it to me?

She's still in the group.

The thing is, I don't know if.

They have a location yet, but they would have looking for a barn, right.

Oh.

I was thinking it was like an eye or something like that.

I mean, you could she could still just play in the middle of what she was doing, be like, Oh, wow, I guess we're really gonna go all out for the goat. Huh. I don't know if we've ever done this before because that kind of keeps it in like the general realm.

Yeah, but we need them to get more specific. We needed them to like say something specific back so we can.

Figure it out.

I guess I could say, like, are we gonna go with the goat theme? Or are we gonna do what we did last year? Like trying to get more information.

That good because they might offer up what happened last year and we'll get a clear idea of what this is.

You're gonna say yes or no?

Maybe or make it more open ended.

Okay, how about this, Are we gonna go with the goat theme this year? Or what theme was everybody's favorite in the past?

Yeah, because then you're asking.

For an answer instead of just a yes or no.

That's good, Alana, how about that.

I can try that.

Okay, Yeah, so are we really going with the goat theme? You can put a little goat emoji? What's everybody's favorite theme from the past?

Okay? Cool?

I wonder what this is.

I don't know, but it's gonna be fun.

Yeah, I said, so many people can apply so fast.

I've never been an accomplice to a crime that hasn't happened yet.

So goats belong in bars.

If the police are listening to this in the future, just know I am on the fence and I have no part in pushing this forward. Defense that's holding the goat inside.

By the way, very legal.

All right, So Alana, you've sent that we're going to take a break. Okay, cool, We're going to take a break. Come back and see if the group chat continues with more Textual Healing right after this, if you're just joining us, we were called in to do a last minute edition of Textual Healing where one of our listeners, Alana, messaged our show. She reached out just this morning saying she's in a weird situation.

Yeah, she just started a goat party on accident.

Yeah it is, because it all started when she was accidentally added to a group chat with a bunch of people that she does not know and decided to respond to it just to mess with them and have a little bit of fun.

She wasn't even being mean or.

She's actually it sounded like these random people were talking about how they do a party every year and last year's party got out of control. Alana wanted to feel like she was part of the group, so that's why she brought up a goat, saying no goats this year, please, And the rest of the chat has decided to run with that, where now they're talking about visiting people's barns, hopping fences, possible lawsuits.

It makes sense because remember we did learn they were banned from Applebee's.

Yeah, this is a group that tends to take things a little bit beyond the line, so we think, yeah, we're not really sure. But that's why Alana is curious. She wants to dig a little deeper to figure out what we're actually working with here, and that's why we sent are we going with the goat theme? Idea? What was our favorite theme from years before?

Yeah?

Yeah, and a lot of.

They come back with a detailed list of what here and what it's been with pictures right.

Bro idea of what we're talking about, Alana. Have they responded, Yeah, I have.

A few messages.

Okay, what do they say?

Okay, buckle up. Person two says the one from six years ago, the buzz saw one buzz sawce buzzsauce.

Six years This is a.

Only good things happen around buzz saws.

Buz don't know, I don't know. But then Person one says, yeah, it was before you joined. You'll get used to it, though. Just be sure to bring gloves this time. Gloves and person three sets and trash bags.

Trash bags who.

Volunteers.

Yeah, you guys are thinking awfully innocent for gloves and trash bags.

I mean, I'm sorry.

Nobody's going to habitat for humanity and then getting barred from Applebee's.

The kitchen to nicely. We don't want these folks back clean highways drunk. It's starting to feel creepy. Yeah, this isn't like your normal party, Vibe ale Ona.

Why do they want to bring a go and a buzz saw?

That's not good?

Are you sure that you want to keep going down this Pathlon? Or is it time to ask? Hey, you know what's the deal with all the weird supplies?

I'm honestly so curious. I say, we keep going?

You want to keep going?

Yeah?

Okay, wait, wait, this is good though, because the buzzsaw happened before your tie, so you can ask about it, you can ask your details.

I never heard about that. What happened? Yeah, No, nobody likes that.

Maybe we need more examples from just besides the buzzsaw idea. Yeah, like, maybe we do the play along thing and we go, you know, well, what exactly are we doing? Because I'm still having trouble remembering last year's it was that crazy?

Yeah, okay, can I try that?

Yeah, sure, go for it. We're just trying to collect more information from these people because we're still not one hundred percent sure what it even is that they do every year.

If you wanted to find out what the group is, you say, what should we title our Facebook group?

I've been working on getting us a page.

In Facebook groups. It's Partyful the app you text it, bro whatever.

Dude.

They sounds like old people.

The people party guys, guys, guys, guys, very fond and hang on hand, very fond of that.

So the last thing that you said was what exactly are we doing this year? Because I don't remember what we did last year? It was so crazy? What did they write back?

Person one says, don't worry, It's all part of the fun.

Remembering things is part of the fun. That sounds super sticky.

That's the whole goal is to super I used to.

Drink that was so then Person three goes, yeah, nothing to be nervous about. We've got everything under control.

What do they because they got banned from an Applebee's. I don't know if that that's like the opposite.

Of being wanting to initiate you this year to me, I don't know you were.

There last year.

And then person too after that says, just trust stuff. It's going to be a blast.

Don't trust them. I know who they are.

Yeah, anyone else thought this could be like the coolest church ever with a baptism Yeah, right, and the bowl of kool aid that you all have to drink at the same time. Yeah, because that's kind of where it's going.

That doesn't end well, that's a cult chat.

Yeah.

So if you're just joining us, we're in the middle of textual healing. We're helping out our listener, Alana, who was caught up in a group chat where she doesn't know anybody is started with her innocently wanting to mess with them because it sounded like they did an annual party. But now we're getting down into really strange territory. Yeah, it's kind of snowballs. Anybody that says just trust us, nothing bad is going to happen. That's not a good spot you want to be in.

No, and I'm getting more messages hand wait coming in.

I love group chats.

How many people are in this group?

There are four other numbers? Four people in the group.

Okay, so now what are they writing?

Okay, back to person one, they say, we don't talk about last year, and then Kerson three reiterates that and says, remember no talking on text about it.

Oh great, so we're just going to broadcast.

Oh god, they made a rule where you can't recap no paper trail of what happened last year.

I don't know what if this is actually something illegal.

I brought that up last segment, Brooke, and you were like legal Schmigel. Yeah, I have enough lawyers to get out.

Of it, because I thought it was a fun barn party.

Jeff with a goat, Like, who hasn't been to one of those we're talking about buzz saws.

And it's gonna be like crime.

Group uses goat to rob casinos.

Radio show gives them the idea.

Oh god, they were saying not to be nervous. That then person who just says, bring the right gear and no questions. Okay, what now?

Yeah, sounds like it is Ocean's eleven. We have trash bags, gloves and the right gear and a goat.

And it sounds like they don't know you that well. Who they think you are.

You're the new initiated.

Yeah, they don't you number saved?

Wait what you're the okay? Wait, this is weird. Okay. So then they say, also as a reminder, dot dot dot, we don't talk about Darryl.

They have a lot of things they don't talk about this.

Okay, I'm sorry, there's a Darrel involved. This is some country tookes we got a Darryl or.

We're stealing a go Sounds like there used to be a Daryl until things went bad and now we don't talk about him anymore.

Oh my gosh.

So okay, and they go, sorry, you're right, Saturday, let's go. Let's go.

Sounds like Jose is in on the group chat. Are you still wanting to continue down the rabbit hole and dig deeper here?

I want to know what this is. We don't have any closure.

Yeah, I really want to know too. I just feel like this is getting really sketchy now.

I mean, maybe you can text just so that we can get some clarity. Maybe we bring up all of our fears right now and we say, hey, guys, I'm not looking to get locked up, by the way, lol.

Yeah.

Hopefully, like hopefully they'll be like, it's not a bad thing.

What about this?

What about you have to tell your emergency contact something?

You know what I mean?

Like, you're so.

I got.

My mom says curfuse at nine, So tell me without telling me you're a nark. Okay, what do you think, Alana?

Okay, I actually just sent I'm not looking to get locked up.

Okay, suggestion.

I gotta say it was better than my emergency contact. I'll back.

I'll back Jeff on that one.

Okay, Okay, Okay, here we go.

Did someone text back?

Okay? Yeah, we got one person one again and they say for the last time, no one's going to jail. Just a really big goat costume.

It's a costume party.

What really big costume?

All like a group goat costume party.

I feel like I'm more confused now because.

I thought it was a real goat.

Now it's just a.

Now just doesn't sound like fun. Okay, I feel like you should be like, you know what, I'm busy, guys, I don't think I can make it.

It would make sense if they're in big costumes while they got banned from Applebee's.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just gonna not respond for a bit. I just goat costume. They're a real goat. I don't know. I feel this is all still kind of weird.

You're not into goat boys, huh?

I got not make sure you.

Do get their address though, and text it over to us, just because some of us might want to do some research.

Yeah, I will, I will.

We'll post the address for the goat costume party up on Brook and Jeffrey's instant stories if it comes out.

Wouldn't it be great if the real goats are in costumes. I would totally go.

To diaby so that it would also.

Get you banned from apple bee too.

It's Brook and Jeffrey in the

Morning, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.