Textual Healing: Breakup Breakfast

All right, we got a new episode for you today, and it is a textual healing. That's where somebody needs help with a texting situation, and well that's where we step in.

Yes, we don't get to do these that often, but no we don't.

We don't, but they're fun.

But first we got to talk about Costco Costco guy yesterday, executive members only.

Yeah, people are not a fan of executive members only guy.

Someone said, actually, is this too bad to read?

Maybe not, he was exposed to too much Costco gasoline as a kid.

But look at that one. Oh my goodness, what a judgmental snob. She could do much better.

Sounds like a guy who thinks he is self made with a silver spoon.

Up his butt.

And then somebody else who said, I was waiting for Kai to be in on it with the LARPers.

Oh, oh el yeah, I could see that. Maybe it'd be good for him. Yeah, he needs to put his energy somewhere.

Else if he needs to get into a little LARPing.

Yeah, a little la action role play night fixed Kai.

All right, Well we'll see how you feel about today's episode.

Right now, the modern dating world has so many different levels of relationships that you can be in and it really depends on what you want. You're actually right, there's like categories.

Now for everybody else.

It's kind of nice because there's you know, a casual companionship where you hang out but it's not romantic, a situationship where it's romantic but it's not committed, A monoga mish where it's committed but not serious. What word would you describe your situation, brook, Mine's just marriage. I don't say it too romantically. I'm so hyped.

Retro.

But one of our listeners is caught in a different type of complicated entanglement and she's hoping that we can help uncomplicate it. I hope it's not as complicated as a Brooks good luck, and she wants to do it in the weirdest way possible. She's asked for our help. You're gonna hear it right after this. How many times on this show have listeners asked us to help them break up with their significant others? Oh no, it's brook

Yeah, I am not in the headspace for this today, Jeff Okay.

Well, here's the good news, Brook. Yeah, you don't have to do that today.

Oh good.

Okay, because this couple has already had the breakup talk.

Oh good.

And I guess the issue is the problem is the breakup isn't happening fast enough.

What a breakup happened right after the talk?

That's what I think this listener is saying in her email. But before I confuse my co host any further, let's just talk to Maria about it. Maria, welcome to the show.

Hey, you sound chipper for a lady who may or may not be in a relationship.

We've officially confused everybody in the room. Maria. So what's the situation that you're in with this guy that you're dating or or not dating? What's going on?

Okay? So I started dating this guy like six months ago. His name is James James.

Okay, and what's the situation with James.

Well, I do really like spending time with him. He's a good guy, but it's just it's not a relationship that I ever kind of saw getting too serious. Like when I picture my future husband, it's it's just not him.

Okay, But why why isn't it him?

I don't know. It's just like they say, like when you know, you know, but also you know when you know that.

It's not.

Fair, that's fair.

Like this spark isn't quite right. It has nothing to do with who he is as a person.

It's just not and it kind of hurts.

But have you been honest with him that he's not husband material for you?

We don't need to say it that, yeah, you're not doing the breakup.

So how honest are we being with James?

I mean, a couple of months into us dating, I could kind of tell that he was more into me than I was into him, and so I basically told him like, Hey, I'm having fun with you, but I just don't know if we should continue what's going on between the two of us.

And so what was his response to that?

Honestly, he could do really well.

He joke.

He was kind of joking back like, well, if you want to break up with me, you can't do it until your mom's wedding because you already invited me.

Oh, okay, do you mind bringing him to your mom's wedding?

Honestly, no, Like we kind of came up with a solution is that we'll do the wedding, but we're going to have a scheduled breakup.

Date or in the middle of your mom's wedding.

That's really cordial, Like it's kind of cool.

Yeah, so the wedding is coming up or it already happened.

Yeah, it's so it just happened, and congress anytime. So that's the thing is that we decided that it would be two weeks after the wedding.

Okay, just to wind it down a little bit after.

Like the jo or maybe not to make it look like it was your mom's fault that you're breaking up.

Fair.

Yeah, I mean we just didn't want to do it like directly after. And honestly, like, we had a great time. We had a good run and I wasn't stressing about it. But then a funny thing happened while we were at the wedding. James was off eating and talking with family and stuff like that, and I ended up meeting another guy.

Oh maybe the new stepdad's got some hotties.

No, it's nothing, it's nothing weird. It's not like a stepbrother or anything like that. Because he's friends with my new stepdad's family and and you know, it was really cute. It was sweet, like we had instant chemistry and he asked me out, but it was it was really cute. But the only thing is he's going to be leaving town soon and the only day that he can meet up is the day before our schedule to break up.

So you just need to change the day to the breakup up to see.

Wait, if you guys already know you're going to break up if you go on a David, so that's not cheating you guys are done, right.

But remember this guy likes her more than she likes him, so it's going to affect him differently. I mean, so she's.

Still thinking of his feelings at the end of it. It sounds like you just want to keep it clean, is that right?

Yeah?

Well, I also really appreciated him being so cool about everything and still wanting to go to the wedding and all that. Like, it's already a weird situation. I'm trying to just do it the best way that I can can.

I ask, are you guys acting like boyfriend and girlfriend right now?

I mean, well, we're still technically together, so yeah, okay.

But we're not doing Brooke breaks you up instead. What She's requested is some textual healing on to text her current guy James and ask him to push up the date of the breakup.

Yeah, I just I want to move it up by one day.

Oh, you know, this is the first time I feel like the breakup conversation via text is allowed because you've had so many breakup stations.

But what if you have something planned, like there's a last date meal, Like, do you.

Have anything planned like that? Special?

The plan for us was to kind of do breakfast together at the same diner where we first met.

Full guys are so poetic about that.

I know, I feel like a text breakup might just be better this way.

So how do we start the conversation?

Well, what if you be direct with him but also unavailable at the same time.

That sounds passive and aggressive.

That, yes, that's the perfect sweet spot. That so, if I'm you, I want to put it in their core and let them make the final decision on how to proceed, which.

Is so Jeffrey, nobody you can understand my life.

Were making a decision, We're pretty good.

I would say, listen, I'm so so sorry, but my plans have changed and I have a conflict on that day, and I'm not going to be able to make our breakfast sad emoji. You are owning like it's my fault, but that day doesn't work, and then you see what he wants to do with it.

Yeah, he likes you so much up scared is going to push it a year out.

A terrible text descend, but just for experiment experiment reasons, Yeah, and experimentation.

So let's try there we go, Yeah, okay, I like that. Let me kind of write it out and.

Make it sound like you're upset, like, Hi, I'm so so sorry to do this, but my plans have suddenly changed. I can't make our breakup breakfast.

We're going to call it break.

Up whatever you want to call it, okay, and then put sad emojis like you really were looking forward to that.

God, it feels so bad because something else is more important than breaking up, Like.

He's gonna ask what could be more important?

I'm just going off of what we know about this guy in his personality, and he was cool with the whole concept of a breakup date, so you might not.

Be as devastated and doesn't like him, but he's still go hang out.

With her for.

I mean with the he could be a guy like Jeffrey that likes others to make the decisions him.

You tell me exactly, so Maria, you make the final choice here. What do you want to I don't want to be responsible.

Okay, I'm gonna say, Hi, I'm so sorry, but my plans have changed this week. I'm going to be camping on Saturday.

Make up the line, right, I would be less specific, camping just so that way.

I'm out of town.

You can I'm out of town.

Out of town, he would be the date.

Okay, I'm just gonna say. I'll just say that I'm out of town. I think that's good.

Send the text sage and.

Okay, okay, I sent it and I put at the end, I put the I can't make our planned break up breakfast, and I did Emoi.

Okay, there you go.

It's like, are you sad because of the breakup or are you said because you can't make it?

Well, whatever happens, it's on you one hundred percent. I would take no responsibility. Then when we come back, we will see if you're soon to be ex boyfriend has responded. As we continue Textual Healing Breakfast Breakup Edition and it's coming up right after this.

Good music choice.

Oh yeah, we're in the middle of textual healing with our listener Maria, who's been dating a guy for almost six months now and realized just a little while in that this isn't going to be forever.

Yeah, so which is okay, doesn't mean it's bad. Yeah, not foreverything totally.

So they made the choice, you know, since her mom was getting remarried, why not extend their relationship just a little bit longer, and came up with a breakup date, which is a specific day on the calendar when they both agreed the relationship would officially end. The only problem is a new love interest has suddenly resurfaced for Maria, so she's come to us wondering how can she text her current guy, James, to let him know I actually need to move up our breakup date without being too specific.

About why, without saying I found another guy who's super hot and I'm really into him, and he's leaving for work, so I need to get this date in.

Yeah.

I mean most guys would take that so well, but James, we're a little worried about. I am curious how he's going to react because I'm thinking, how would I personally feel, or how would any of us feel if you're him and you get that message.

Well, and even though he's more into you than you are to him, like he obviously agrees this isn't a forever thing, else he would have fought harder to Yeah.

Sure, so he might be a little hurt or he might be totally cool with it, Maria has He responded, he has, Oh my gosh, Okay, what did he say?

So?

He texted a picture of Macauley Cokein's shocked.

Like a shaving cream on or the ship after shave on.

Any streams Okay, yeah, okay.

No, And underneath it he wrote reactivating my Tinder as we speak with the smark emoji.

Okay, So does that mean you're just single?

Now?

Yeah?

Maybe that's the text we need to ask, what does this mean? We're done?

Now?

What does that mean to you? Maria?

That's the thing. So we've had this like whole inside joke saying going about how we're going to reactivate our Tinder accounts at the exact same time when we break up. He's really funny, like honestly, like this is why I kind of wanted to date him in the first place.

I kind of wanted.

Yeah, just one of the ways that you're reacting, it sounds like you don't even want it to really end, like deep down, I don't know that.

Reminded her him.

She seems excited going to date with the new guys.

It just sucks because he's been super charming and I hate it it, you know, I mean, I'm.

Freaking easier if one person is just bad guy.

You can't be indecisive.

No, because from his text it sounds like he's cool with it. It's over.

Yeah, this is like the best case scenario, right Well, that's the thing is like it should be over in a few days, but like it shouldn't be over like right now.

Wait are you saying now that you feel like maybe you like him and you don't really want it to end?

Feel that no, like for me and him. I just I just need to confirm that it's done officially, you know what I mean?

I mean, didn't he already confirm it?

Mcaulay Culkin just confirmed it? Yeah for sure.

I mean I guess he did it through a joke. You want, like actual written words, we are over?

I I mean, I just I have to like figure out how to do this, so I know that there's like an actual like that it's done.

Okay.

Is there a chance that maybe you're disappointed in him in being not caring.

Not pushing back more?

I mean no, I just I don't know. I I already made my decisions, so I just have to go through with it.

Okay. Well, look, if you want to keep it with the funny light mode that he's been doing, maybe just type in the date when you first started dating with a dash to today's date and then a little tombstone emoji.

Alright, oh god, what do you think? Yeah, I know I do kind of Okay, Jeff, you're really funny are using.

Yeah, let's focus on the goal that you came to us hoping to do. What do you think about what I said sending the dates with the dash and the tombstone emoji? Yeah?

I like that. I'm going to send that right now.

Okay, Okay, so we're just wrapping things up.

This is actually, like I feel like, a really good example of how we all should handle breakups.

Yeah, every relationship should have a premeditated breakup and Murray, by the way, I forgot to tell you Chime in anytime if you see him texting you back, or you see any dots or anything like that.

And if you see dots, also let.

Us know because that's very important for the show.

Okay, I need to tell you something. What what I didn't send the toobest text?

What did you the tombstone text? What did you send?

I didn't, I didn't send anything. I think I'm starting to have feelings for him more than money.

These are going to last a week.

You can't do this.

You're just straging him along and then you're gonna actually hurt his feelings.

This is the way to do this.

It's all happening so fast, and now I'm just like second guessing it.

Okay, listen, we get that you're confused, but we are on a time limit here on this show, and if you don't know what you want to do, then we have no goal to reach for.

No.

I know, I know I didn't mean to put you guys in this position, but I guess I want to enjoy the last three days of them.

Okay, I don't know that that's an option.

If that's how you feel, then why don't you just send that?

Then?

Can't hand?

It looks like books.

It's on fire. I can't go there. No, she won What are you gonna say?

Now, I'll just tell them that I'll see if I can live the date or something like that, and just that I want to at least have our last couple of days together.

Oh, I respond to.

This is when you see the power pendulum swing.

Yeah, he's like, what.

Are you doing?

She likes me too much?

He's saying, she's so into me.

Okay, I sent it.

Oh respond, I think you're going to be heartbroken this weekend.

So uh yeah, we've gone from like wanting to move up the breakup date to not having a breakup date to now it's back to the original breakup like.

Nothing ever happened, Brooks saying, I wish all relationships handled this way.

No wonder if they can't.

At least it's not confusing.

Oh my god, what he sent me a message?

What is the most important one of the whole thing?

He said, too late, And he sent a screenshot of his Tinder bio he already restarted.

Right, God, have fun with the new guy, Maria.

I guess God, I'm gonna go. I have to re download my Tinder so I can rematch him.

No one of us can get there for you're in a healthy mental state, Marina, I feel like textual healing achieved.

Hey, but listen, she did finally let him make the choice, just like you wanted to.

You did it with the other guy.

Now.

Yeah, enjoy trying to rematch with your ex boyfriend on Tinder.

I feel like she's going to stand outside of he's a part.

Enough swiping Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

Is it harder to rematch with someone on Tinder after you've already been in a non serious, exclusive six month relationship with them?

I would think emotionally it's harder.

Could set your you know categories really specific?

Yeah, this color hair. Yeah.

Maybe it's just like the normal thing on Tinder where everyone's just going through the rotation until they wind up back where they started.

You know what. Actually, I remember being on Tinder and I unmatched with somebody or I match and then I didn't go back on the app. I go A week later, she's back in my options.

I'm like, does that is it like reaching the end of the Internet. Yeah?

It just makes me so happy for her. I feel like she's right where she wants to be.

She knows where she knows to be.

Reminds every friend going through a breakup.

Ever, that woman needs to be single is what she needs.

Well, we have to work on ourself a little bit.

Yes, we have asked Maria to keep us updated on her breakup and her possible rekindling. Juting on you by the end.

Jury, I don't know that I want to be updated on this updates good just.

Leaving it, dag pause with the new guy who knows what's going to happen. But if you enjoyed that, We've got plenty more textual healings up on our podcast at Brook and Jeffrey. And in the spirit of this call, we want you to subscribe unsubscribed six months later, and then we subscribe to us all over again, and then just watch us.

Yeah, that's fun.

It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.