Second Date Update: The First Five Seconds

Welcome to your brand new Second Date podcast. It's Brooke and.

Jeffrey in the morning, and I gotta say I think today's Second Date calls for a poll.

We haven't done a pole mile of course. I think the poll only works on Spotify to actually click it. Yeah, done.

But you can just put in your answer wherever else you're listening. That's on the comments, whether it's on YouTube or whatever platform you're on, or you can text it into the number seven eight five nine two. If your date has something on their face, do you say something or do you keep it to yourself?

It depends, honestly, I'd probably wipe it off. Yeah, yeah, with what with a napkin?

Oh sorry, I'm all excited, all right, let us know, let us know, and you'll understand why that question here in just a second.

But first comments from our lovely Lovely listeners.

Alexis Killer Sheep said, I've been listening since February and finally caught up with all the episodes in the Second Date Update podcast.

I'm upgrading to the full show now.

Yeah, okay, good. I was gonna say, oh no, you ran out of stop to listen to.

I mean, that's the thing that people don't understand who love this podcast is. We actually do an.

Hour long show every day e stink and day we do a brand new show. So if you want the full show, you can go over to main our main feed podcast just look up Brooke and Jefferys that's right there.

Or you can click more like this and I think it's the first option.

That's yeah, that's true too. All right, let's get this second date started.

Yeah, second date up date. Brooke, did you know the first time that you met your husband Michael that something was special? Not saying that you knew like you were going to get married in the first fifteen seconds of talking to him, but was there anything that happened with you instantly that lets you know, whoa, there's something real, like something actually special going on.

No, I just felt so good around him, and I was so excited about him.

Okay, you're drunk, so that's probably.

I mean, I did have like five glasses of wine and make an off color ut I joke.

Okay, well yeah, ey jokes and.

He still likes me.

Okay, Pet explains it. I mean, I remember the first time that I met Jose and I noticed his fly was down and I thought ooh special.

Yeah, he didn't tell me Xyz though.

No I enjoyed it.

He asked you to put it down further.

Yeah, but you know, we don't talk about this all the time, about that first ten to fifteen seconds when you meet your date and something happens inside. That's what you knows.

That's real.

Apparently that happened to one of our listeners gram recently, at least that's what his email said, and we should learn a little bit more about it. Graham, Welcome to the show man.

Hey guys, thanks for taking my call.

I can't wait to hear about this chance meeting. Maybe it wasn't chance meeting. Whatever the meeting was, it sounds great.

Yeah, So, without getting overly descriptive, how did your body let you know that this was special?

Well, she didn't ever fly open. I can tell you that.

Oh yeah, dang it.

So what's her name, by the way, and how did you meet her?

Her name is Aura, Aura.

How did you meet her?

We met on one of those dating apps and we decided to meet at a wine bar.

All right, So going into meeting her at the wine bar, were you expecting something special?

Well, you know how you always have your hopes up. But I knew when I walked in that I was going to be in so much trouble. Why immediately recognized me and started from across the room waving both of her hands over her head like a total door.

Just one of those people like me. She's got no shame.

And you loved that.

Right, Oh my god. She was just so like effort lived, cute, well, free.

Spirit over there.

Her name's Aura, it comes you know. That's adorable. Yeah, And it sounds like she was excited to see you.

It was one of those like initial meetings where in the first five seconds I was like, oh my god, this is just like a dream.

That must be a lot to process, right when you're first getting to know somebody. So did the feeling where often just getting to like a normal date after that.

I mean, I wouldn't say it wore off or it was normal. It was just I mean there was a jazz trio playing fine and we were both into jazz music, and she was like, oh, let's make up names for the guys, and so you have Sammy Fly guitar playing and Dennis the drummer, yeahnny, all that kind of stuff. We were just cracking each other up the whole time.

You guys were in your own world right exactly.

And they're already making almost inside jokes with each other, you know, like just a fun, fun thing.

Now anytime any song goes on the radio, you can be like, oh yeah, this is my favorite drummer, Yeah Lington drummers.

I know whatever.

Well, clearly the vibes are there, so keep taking us through how the rest of the date goes.

It just kept getting better. I mean, our sense of like humor was just so like simpatico, I guess to that word. Like at one point she had like some lipstick on her front teeth. Huh, So I started like signaling and rubbing on my own front teeth.

Good, I'm glad you told her.

And she just looks at me. She goes, what do you have in a stroke on your teeth? Exactly? I was just laughing so much and then fun, Oh yeah it was it went so well, oh my god, this sounds.

Like it Why are you calling us for help? Then, like, I don't get it. How could this have ended poorly?

Well, that's the thing, it didn't really end poorly. When we said goodbye, she just came up to me and gave me like a really long, tight hug.

Oh that's nice.

Some of those are nice exactly, and she says, we have to definitely do this again.

Oh that's nice.

Sincere, I texted her twice, one time to see if she wanted to go out for coffee, the second time to see if she wanted to go to a trivia night, because I think she'd be great at that.

Wait, how long did you wait before you texted her? Was this like thirty minutes after the date or was this a couple of days?

I waited two days.

I think that's too long too.

I think when you have a connection like that with someone that you just go with it.

You just follow You got to play the game of waiting. Yeah, day, that's what blew it that it took too long.

Have you read that on a certain point, you just got to grab your luggage and move in with her. It sounds like so connected.

Have you not heard from her at all?

Well, that's the thing is like when I was texting her, she did reply, but both times she said that she was busy, And the worst part was like she didn't offer an alternative time or date or anything like that. It was like, well, I'm busy. I can't.

I mean, sometimes these free spirits, they really suck at.

Text outa you know, I mean, Alexis, if you wanted to see a guy, would you tell him like, I'm just busy, or you offer up a little bit more.

I would offer something else. I'd probably over offer. Honestly, I'd probably mentioned all the times I'm free.

How many times you do apologize for being busy A lot?

It is odd that she leaves it at just I'm busy and no explanation and no other follow up to it exactly. That could feel like that she's trying to brush you off. I understand it.

You guys had such a thing happening.

It's just hard to imagine she wasn't right there with you feeling the exact same thing.

Well, maybe it was the fact that you made her pay for the dinner that night you made I'm just assuming you.

No, no, no, I am a proper gentleman. I paid for everything. Okay, I just need I need you guys to find out for me, how the hell did I blow this.

We're gonna find for you. How do keep it going? Because I've got faith in this one.

Because we don't even know that you blew it. It could be something totally unrelated.

I am so excited to get her on the phone.

Let's find out. We're gonna come back call Aura and try and get you your second date update coming up right after this. Okay, all right, man, hold on second date update whenever. I'm stuck on holds with customer service for four straight hours and the automated message keeps replaying over and over saying we're busy right now, but don't go anywhere. Your call's very important to us. We're just busy. Yeah, I believe them. Oh you do they really really care? Yeah, I'm not understaffed.

Yeah, not a break somewhere.

But the thing is, if you're on the other end of a potential relationship with somebody you really like and you get too sorry, I'm just busy right now in a rowse, it's hard not to be a little bit skeptical and feel like you're being blown off.

Especially when they don't say, hey, press number nine for a different day to date me up exactly.

And that's where our listener Graham is. After a really good date at a jazz bar with a girl named Aura. He has turned to us because those two busys just aren't equally a second meetup, and they're not.

Equaling the vibe that they had going when they were hanging out.

It just sounds so I can't believe we haven't said it sooner, but negative our points for her?

Yeah, Graham, I mean before we call her here, how you feeling.

I'm feeling a little nervous, to be honest, But how's your Aura?

I mean, I get it, I'm feeling nervous for you.

I mean, you just sound so excited, and I want this to happen for you.

I think we all do.

Everything sounded so good. I don't want to put this out there, but it has to be shocking. Like whatever the excuse is, you're not gonna see like, oh wow, I didn't think of that. There's nothing that has gone wrong. We can change that right now. Let let's see if something went wrong. I'm going to dial her number right now. Hopefully she picks up the phone. Here we go. Hello, Hey, is this Aura? Yes, this is a we're a radio show.

Uh okay, Hi, I didn't I don't think I signed up for anything.

I don't.

Yeah, you didn't know, you didn't, but one of our listeners kind of signed you up for something called a second Date Update. Okay, So if you're not familiar with that, it's a segment that we do on our show where we try to help people who've gone out with somebody one time but they're not getting that second meetup and they're not sure why. We can call and try to figure out if there's a reason for it. Yeah, does that make sense?

Yeah, I guess.

We know you're really busy, so we won't keep it.

That's what we've heard. We're really good at these. By the way, we'll be efficient.

Okay, we'll get through this.

Because we're calling about a guy that you went out with recently named Graham.

I'm sorry, I'm like super confused, Like what is this great question?

Well, yeah, no, it's the thing is, we spoke to Graham about your date, and we're trying to figure out if there's a reason that the two of you haven't gone out again, because you keep saying to him that you're busy.

But not offering any solutions on wind to meet up.

Yeah, I mean, I like I already texted him, Like I said, I was busy during the times he wanted to hang out.

I think in his mind, when you say I'm busy, that's just like it can be a word that people use to brush somebody off if you're not actually wanting to see them, but you don't want to come off as being rude.

Like I meant what I said, I'm just really busy.

Okay, okay, but there's no way I mean, like, I'm sorry, we're all really busy. But like when you meet somebody that you feel like you have this crazy connection with, you'll make time for them.

Yep.

But I'm not like canceling my plans, Like I know we're not we're.

Not asking you to do that. But he just asked us to call because it was unclear to him if you actually wanted to meet up.

But it's what's unclear.

I'm saying, Okay, but I am busy, uncle.

If you like, I'm honestly still unclear whether you actually like him or not.

I like him, but like I don't understand why, like he needs a third party interjecting. I said that I'm free. I'm just busy during the times he.

Mentioned gotcha, I hear you, and I don't want to be the third party interjecting whatsoever. In fact, it's just like weird. Well, no, listen, Graham is actually the one I want you to talk to. And it's perfect because he's right here on the other line listening, waiting to jump.

In or what.

I'm so confused, like what is happening? What's like? What's the deal with these like jobbers you hire to like grow me about us?

Job said job jobbers?

I called you jobbers, like I don't know what you guys like we are?

I okay, you.

Talk to her?

Yeah I didn't. I didn't hire them. It's just a radio show, and they, you know, help people get in touch if they're having trouble getting together.

So yeah, but like I told you, I was busy a couple of times, Like don't you think it's a little extreme to like go in a radio station? And who honestly, whoever that guy was I've been talking to, like did not seem prepared at all.

I don't know what I was talking about. And he like trying to nail down a gate for you about Jeff.

That's fine. Sometimes people need a common enemy to come together.

Honestly, I'm with her. I wasn't doing it. That was pretty crap. I get myself a.

D or can't you think of this as like a kind of a romantic gesture, like he really.

Wants to see you and he went to all this effort.

No, it's super weird chemistry.

I feel like you're angry.

Does this feel like the same person you went out with Graham?

Well maybe not a little bit, but you guys have been kind of grilling. Are pretty hard hard.

Yeah, we can take the fall.

Yeah, no, no, no, that's okay. I mean your intentions are great, and that's fine.

I did have some bad intentions when I dialed. I brought some negative energy into this and that's what fat that's right. You're so guilty and you shouldn't.

Be, Laura.

Is there is there anything we can do to come back from putting you out or making you feel weird?

Like you keep saying?

You can stop asking me questions and he can just ask me out.

How about that?

Okay?

Because I think that's perfect. That's perfect. I'd love to hang out. And how about this weekend? Are you free like on Friday?

I'm busy Friday?

Okay, keep going, Well, we'll have How about Saturday?

Then I've got something that day, but like you should, you probably need to notice.

But I'm in like two other situationships.

Oh that's why you're okay.

Now you know why she's so busy.

Oh, Graham, I'm sorry.

Is that okay with you?

Graham? Or let me ask you. You said you're already in two situationships? So really, what does that mean?

It means a lot of fun.

Do you even have time for me then?

Or what I'm free Sunday afternoon? Like I can squeeze you in.

I'm not really sure if I want to be squeezed in between two other dudes.

Beggars can't be choosers here, Like you're the one who's lead to the party, but it's still a party.

She's clearly not rejecting you, but you're gonna.

But she's offering you not much.

Yeah, I'm single, Like I don't have to like.

Kind of you?

You're kind of single.

I think we're all jealous of you are if anything.

So, I think, Graham, I don't know, Graham, I feel like you deserve more than this.

I don't know. Look, guys, I think I should just go with my gut and say you only live once. And let's do it.

So you're over to a possible third situationship with Aura.

Well, I mean, if the third situationship goes so well, maybe they'll just turn into a single situationship.

Okay, that's really optimistic for yourself.

I think that's the point of like dating, Like you're supposed to try things and see what sticks.

Okay, that's true.

Yeah, well great, Now we're running out of time here. So I'm just curious though, Aura, if he does go through with this, does that put him like in the third seat, like the last place guy, or does he need to do a trial run? And does he have to meet the other guys?

Why would they meet the other I.

Don't know how.

That's so weird.

No, Okay, if it works out, it works out, and if it doesn't, we had fun.

Okay, great. I just want to be clear that we're setting our guy up for success here. So we would like to offer to send you guys out on a date and we would pay for it.

Yeah, I mean, I'm down, thank you.

Not the grand romantic eddie I was b but realistic.

Yeah, you know, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Oh was that like the ickyest?

Yes?

That we've ever gotten to a second date ever, not where I.

Wanted things to end, I'll tell you that.

Yeah, but at least we got an answer to why she was busy.

And I guess it's clear to Graham what he's walking into right like, there's no mystery here anymore.

I don't know if it is really clear, because we never really asked whether the like situationships know about each other or how serious they really were with anything.

She seems pretty blunt, Jeffy, and she.

Seems like she enjoyed. Is it for sure? It's the one thing that made her smile during that entire call and get like.

A weird sexy voice thing.

How can you not when you're thinking about your harem of guys waiting for you. But I just have a feeling our boy Graham is going to be happy settling for Sunday afternoon hangouts.

Well, he's Sunday boy. Now, he's a posit.

It might end in a four way marriage if it goes well enough. Sweet, so good for you, Graham. Keep us updated. But if you want help with your dating life, you can always email the show. We'll call that person who isn't calling you back and go check out all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts at Brook and Jeffrey