Second Date Update: Standup Funny Man

I don't know anything about that stuff. It's fascinating. But today's phone call is pretty special because we have someone on the line who says they have one of our jobs. And that's a professional stand up comedian, just like joke each other. His name is Harold, So please welcome to the stage. Harold. How's going everybody? Is that a fake accent? Is that part of your stick? Harold? Fake? Ain't nothing fake about me? Beer, but my finger nails I got on? Okay,

all right, I like this guy. Al it's gonna take my job. Thanks for being with us, man. So um, before we get into your date, first, tell us about the girl that you met. What's her name? Oh, her name was Ashley? Okay, how'd you meet her? I met her through this date nap, But you know that's a whole other chick k boodle. Yeah, you never know how boring you are until you start feeling out that darn thing. I tell you, seriously, I feel like this is a setup,

the whole thing for his next joke. I'm telling you though. But you know what, as I was feeling it out, I kid, you're not I realized, Hey, wait a minute, there's millions. I'm talking billions of people out here who's not dating me. What the heck is their problem? Yeah? I feel you, man, I feel that way all the time. I'm like, how came I only have two thousand people dating me? Where are my millions? So? Did she hit you up? Is she the one that reached out to

you on the profile? Well? Yeah, I feel it. I mean, you know, I just want to meet somebody nice. You get into a relationship, yea, a serious relationship. To me, it's like freaking a marathon. It's all stupid. Huh. Okay, I thought you wanted to be in a relationship. Well I'm just saying I wouldn't mind being in one. But for the most part, you got to go through all this foolishes. Okay, can we just focus maybe a little bit. I'm really enjoying your perspective on life, Harold. But can

we can we get to your date with with Ashley? Yeah? But I just very You wan't to know how I came about doing all of this. Well, okay, we got the idea you met her online, So yeah, exactly did you do with her? I mean we went out to go e too this restaurant? Carol, How was the conversation between you and Ashley? Because it's like this one. Yeah, I may I may know why she's not calling you about I tell you, I's gonna make her smile and laugh throughout this whole evening. Are you saying that you

ran a comedy bit on her? Yeah? Well I'm not really a comedy bit. I just told her through things that I believe ben Like, for instance, I told her, I said, you know what, Ashley? She said, what, Harold? I said, you know you're like a jelly fish? Yeah, jeally fish. And I said, your body's ruldimentally and I'm just I'm scared to get near it. That was what they call a harroldism. Goody, this is where did she laugh?

She chuffed out to all get out and then and then I followed it up with I said, you know what, Ashley? She said, oh what, Harold? I said, you know, relationships are the darnest thing. They're ninety percent of trying to figure out where we're gonna go eat at? Harold is her hair? I really I do appreciate, though you re enacting Ashley answering your questions, because I really feel like I'm there. Can we get back just to the date again? Well, how do you think your chemistry was? Do you feel

a connection there? I did? I mean I was getting ready to walk her up to her door after we concluded a nice little dinner and walk around the lake. But I was telling her what I thought about doing. I'm sort of glad I didn't. She was like, well, what's that I told her? I said, I was going to wear a parachute tonight. Are just hear me out? I don't know why I was going to wear it, but I favor it was go start off a conversation.

Wait a minute, we didn't have a bunch of you asked her wait, hold on through for curveball, and that one you told her you were gonna wear a parachute. And when she asked why, you didn't have an answer, right, I held it during my trunk, I said, I I got here and I didn't feel my mojo, and I didn't feel like myself. I was gonna draft on this here in parachute and walk in this her restaurant. There

is actually a parachute there. That's what he said, the city on an actual parachute in the back of this tru I thought, parachute. You never know when a good parachute joke it's gonna come up. But think about it, somebody was gonna have to ask me. She was going to have to say, now, Harold, okay, why are you wearing this here parachute? But she didn't say that. Well, I didn't wear but I'm telling you, I feel good about myself and I had my moojo. Okay, well, I

feel like I've gotten a pretty good idea. It sounds like you guys had a lot of chemistry. So maybe let's pass forward to the end of the day. How how did the night end with you? And as I'd like to get to the very finish, what's the last thing that happened? I tell you what now, and I'll be very sore flight with you For the first time. When I went there, I went in for that. They're

little kiss and I was ready. Embracis you know like how they showed on television, just alone, drawn out, faint while you were weary of short, my god, and nothing happening. I mean, heck, but I tell you, I mean. I said, thank you, ma'am, and and I walked about four feet and I turned around and I said, you know, if you want, you can call me c beb bet. I say, yes, it stands for coffee bean, and then she says coffee bean. And I walked another two steps to my car and

I turned around and I did a thrust. I said, yes, be calls I grind. So fine, there we go. I told her, just like nexwell house, I'm good to the last drop. Well, god, that sounds like a pretty great time, Jeffrey, in your in your mind when you look back on the day, don't ask, don't think the moment that could have gone wrong. Okay, well all right, okay, let's let's play a song and we'll come back and then we'll

try and get you your second date up date. All right, CB, no good, I got a whole plethora of still you guys about all right? All right, we're gonna take a short intermission. We'll be back with more of second if you're just joining us for the second Date update. We've been talking with one of our listeners named Harold about his first date with a woman named Ashley. Now, Harold is a stand up comedian, and he went into a lot of detail about their night. But here are the

main points that I took away. Okay, they went to a restaurant, he drove her home. Yes, he pulled a parachute out from the trunk of his car, and he even got a short peck at her doorstep, even though he was kind of hoping for a longer, sloppier kiss. Yeah, you are. What's the very end the CBE the coffee being, Well, he has a nickname he likes to go by CBE,

which is short for coffee being because he grinds so fine. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like is a really important last ending shot of his d One thing was abundantly clear to me, though, and that's that he had a really nice time with Ashley and he's bummed that she's not calling him back. Now, Harold, about ready to make your phone call here? How you feeling. I'm just so approving of you? Guys doing this here

for me. I mean I would jog an the other day and man, I saw this couple holding hands and i just started thinking about this little filly and I'm like, oh man, this makes me hopeful that one day I can find the right person that more hate that couple just as bad as me. Well, I'm just hoping it's gonna be Ashley. That's what I was feeling for. You can roast people together. I hope that for you too. Harold, Yeah, Harold, we didn't hear. I mean, have you reached out to

Ashley and she hasn't called you back. There are a couple of Texas and I even called, but I got nothing. Okay, So you reach out to her, okay, answering your Texas. Well, maybe we'll have better luck here because I'm ready to dial her number and we're gonna try and get your second date up day. You ready to do this, man, Yeah, let's go for it. Remember this, wait until it's your turn to talk. Jeffrey'll handle it from getting I'll call

you in when I think you should talk to her. Okay, I'll tell you, guys, that might be a little tough to do, because hell, I've got a lot of haroldisms I need to get rid of. Okay, we're all trying to get you another date, Harold, so just damp in the haroldism at Okay, let me try and get some answers from her. All right, alright, alrighty, okay, here we go. I'm in a dollar number right now. Hello, Hi, I'm

looking for Ashley. Who is this? Hi, Ashould. My name is jeff from the radio show Broken Jeffrey in the Morning. Who did you say that we'll be on site? Okay. We're a morning radio show. Okay, we're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and we're reaching out to you today because we heard that you love comedy. I'm sorry, what is this about, though, I'm confused. Well, we're a comedy radio show and we have a friend of our show who all so does comedy. Thank your friend. I

held it might be I don't know. I'm okay, thank you, hold on, hold on. I'm sorry. I am fascinated to hear your side of the night, like he told us about your date and what we're doing here. It's called a second date update. We're trying to help Harold understand what went wrong during your first date, because, believe it or not, he doesn't know. Yeah. Wow, that's amazing that he doesn't. I'm yeah, yeah, so what is your help? Yeah, because we all understand that Harold is a one of

a kind type of character. Else, Yeah, he sure is. You know, So is there something about him or about the date that was a problem for you? Well, you know, to be honest, um, some point of it was fun because he is a comedians of his jokes or even a little bit fun. Okay, but some of them I even have a punch fine, you know, like I just I just looked at him. Yeah, you know, he just talks a lot. Yeah, I'm not sure what you mean. But I mean, did he ever take a second to

like ask you questions? No, that's the thing, and that's the thing that made me kind of go like, yeah, he's not going to work because for me, the number one thing I need is a phenomenal Well. I mean, sometimes people talk a lot when they're really nervous because they're out with someone that they like. Yeah, but that's okay, Okay, I get it. Did a glass of water, you know,

like take a second. I understand how you're feeling that maybe you don't know if there's a bond there, But I don't know if Harold would necessarily agree with you on everything. You know, he probably would make a joke about it, or try to. I mean, there may not be a punch line. Did he try? He sounds like a sweetheart in his own way? Does he? How long can you last for that? A day? A week? No,

I wouldn't even give it five minutes. Maybe just give it five more minutes because I need to let you know that Harold is on the other line listening, and he does want to talk to you right now. I'm he has not spoken an entire one word this entire time. Harold, are you there? It's been hard, I must say, Oh, but but I just want to clearify something real quick.

And Ashley, I hope you know when I talked about putting one arm around you, getting my other arm putting it around you and squeezing you tight and just tackling you, I'll be honest. I was talking about relationships. Then my mind went to a football and I just went all, that doesn't make any well, that's what That's what happens when you're in love, Like things don't make sense anymore.

Things start running together. Can I can? I ask Ashley, was there any jokes that made you laugh of Harold's and you said one about a pasta I'm trying to get I don't want to think about that. I don't think. I don't think we heard that one, discussed that one on the radio, so it's a live one, okay. But I tell you, I mean I would love to spend some more time with you so we can go over a few that was funny. No, no, no, no, Harold, you're missing the point, dude. Are you not listening to her?

I'm gonna make the next all about her, That's what I'm trying to tell you. Now, how Harold, how are you gonna make it all about her? I'm gonna just sit back, relax, putting my feet up, have my guitar, and just sticks along while she's stopping away. Wait, guitar, give a little back background track her to talk over. That wouldn't be able to hear the answers if you play the guitar. Harold. Yeah, I mean, because you put me on the spot that I talked so much. I'm

not saying a thing. I'm just gonna listen to you. No, that's not what she wants. That's exactly what she wants. She wants a man who is a very very deep listener. If you're not listening, if you're playing guitar, you can play guitar and listen. Harold sounds like a very multiti a person. To tell him, Ashley, tell him exactly what you want right now, Like, just listen to what I say. Ask me questions about me. Don't make me feel like you're testing out the dolts. Okay, do you want to

give it a try right now? Harold? Why don't you ask her a question about her that has nothing to do with you. Let's practice. Do you like Whipray Ashley? I? Yes, I agree? Okay, Now do you like the little whip whip leather whip? Though? I'm just trying to find out about her, guy, Okay, I's trying to find out about what types of foods you like? And ask your questions. Ask her real questions, like about what she likes, what motivates her in life, what her pick it's like? Oh

now there's specific questions. Okay, okay, let me ask you this motion porty quickly and of them all? All right? Do you like dn Max after dark or cho plus Okay, I like a plus. Okay, Okay, Now we get in some way. So are we getting to the end? That's what we need to get to. Yeah, I'm gonna be honest with you because I'm feeling some synergy here guys. And you know what, That's why I would love to ask Ashley, would you like to go out on one more date with Harold? We will pay for it. Dinner

is gonna be free, and so are the jokes. Yea, the dinner sounds great. But to be honest, I don't think I could stand the heading of not being listened to. That's really a big thing for me. That's not shocked. You want me to leave the guitar home, oh my goodness. Or I could put it in the trunk in patient change of mind. On the date with the parachute the guitar together, Will you bring your ears? Certainly? Will? I have no problem with that. I just need to spend

some more time with you. Really sweet, Actually, I mean you're jokes worth funny, some of them, some of them mean. I'm a be honest with you. You know, if you just eat a peanut butter sandwich, it's all good. But there is nothing like peanut butter jelly and banana. And actually you're that banana. Oh and you're the peanut butter jelly where I don't think. I don't think more romantic words have ever been said. Are you actually changing your

mind on this? Actually? Are you actually turning? I don't know. I mean, oh, oh my god, this is working. I mean, boys and girls, do you hear that? Pathetic? There's some sinners up and this your error. I feel the synergy. Okay, Actually, we're sending you out one more time, even if you change your mind, You're going out on one more date with Okay, oh my god, you have to update us on this because I need to do the second night win. Harold. Are you feeling happy right now? I'm a little straight

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