Second Date Update: Spread Your Legs

I'd like to argue, but I can't. Kenny, So who are we calling? Well, it's a girl named Twixie. TWI like the candy bar Twicks with a why Yeah? I E wait, hold up though, how do you live with this woman and you haven't taken her out on a date? Like? Why do you need our help? Oh? No, I don't live with her. Literally, we live in the same apartment building. Okay, you're sharing the same bathroom and she wasn't calling you back and it was like awards silence. Okay, you do

have the same address, just a different unit number. I guess that's exactly it. Okay, so tell us about Twixie. How did you guys meet? I mean I guess you probably met her there. Yeah, so you know, I've seen her walking around and walking her dog, and she's got a really cute look, you know. I mean she's real sexy her dog. No, oh okay. You know it's a real gamble though, if you're going to ask somebody out that lives in your same apartment building, because if it

doesn't work out, you both still live there. Like that's awkward, Yeah, I guess, but I wanted to give it a shot. You got to shoot your shot. And how often had you talk to her prior to asking her out? Pretty much every time I saw her, but it was just hellos okay, so really no real conversation. Yeah, I mean like every time I saw her that I couldn't keep my eyes off her though. She's kind of an alternative girl with pink hair, just like a Twixie should be.

Yeah it's her name. Yeah, totally. So how did you end up asking out Twixie? Well, it was one of those situations where I was heading down in the elevator to go out, and she got in with her dog and we went down and I was just like, hey, you know, what do we get a cup of coffee? Oh my god, you sound so casual. Were you nervous feeling? Yeah? I mean, I guess it wasn't that bad because I've seen her a lot, so it was kind of like I already felt like she knew me, so that pressure

was off. Okay, I can see that. It's some familiarity there. And so what'd she say? She was like, yeah, cool, I'm going that way. You know, she was kind of nonchalant about it. I didn't get that, like, you know, yeah, like you know, it wasn't what was I what I was expecting? But what were you what you're really expecting though? Like, whoa, yeah, I love coffee. Well, I mean you know what I mean, right, Like I know what you mean. She said, like, I'll

do that because I'm headed that way anyway. It wasn't even like I'll go out of my way to go get coffee with you. That's fine. I have nothing better to do, okay, but I'll take what I can get at that point. You know, so that's all right? How did coffee go? Wait? Great? You know she's really interesting. She's like very unique girl. You know, she starts having a pretty face and real sexy when she's walking her dog.

You know, she got a calligraphy business. Cool. Oh that's cool. Oh, it takes a lot of patience and practice to do something like that. Yeah, where you like right, fancy things, fancy writing, and then she picks her own berries to make her own jam. I mean, I've never met someone like that. Sounds like a hipster to the tea like calligraphy. Okay, So did you ask her to like come sample some jam sometimes or at her place kind of taste your jam? Yeah, there's an opening there, okay. No, I mean I kept

it cool. You know, I was a gentleman, and I didn't want to come off too strong and was hoping to you know, move in on maybe the next date or like a like a dinner or something together on the second date. Man, you're going quick. I mean, like, did she give you any indication what her vibe was towards you, Well, unless she was just being super polite, she seemed very interesting or interested in what I was saying, and I know I was extremely interested in what she

was saying. Do you think there's any way it could have been misinterpreted, like she didn't realize it was a date, maybe since it was so casual, maybe, but something else happened after the date, and that could possibly be the

reason why I havn't her back. What happened. It was like the day after we went out for coffee, and you know, I just happened to go outside because I saw her, you know, outside, Yeah, And I wanted to say I was just coming out to stretch my legs, but I think it came out like, hey, I came out to spread your legs. Oh my god. Wow. What was her reaction to hearing that? And did you kind of mean it? I mean she got yeah, I kind of meant it, but I mean, yeah, I mean you

know where I'm going with this. Yeah. She had the same reaction on the elevator. She was like ash or whatever. Whatever. Did she slap you? Yeah? Yeah, she had a shocked look on her face. Yeah, but I caught myself and told her what I really meant to say. Oh my god, It's one thing to mess up your words, but when the messed up words makes sense, oh god, it's so bad. And you could just like see the words coming out of your mouth but you can't control them anymore, and

you're like, what this case? What did I say? What did I do? So? So now what have you been able to talk to her since then? It's been like four or five days. I texted her no response, Oh yeah, it's yeah. You're gonna have to move man, text her like a leg emoji or anything. I thought I was hoping for a little out here. You know, no promises here because of the whole spread the legs comment. I can't I can't make any guarantees. We're gonna play a song and we'll come back and we'll call Twixie for

you and get you your second date update. Okay, all right, cool, thank you. All right, hold on, if you're just tuning in for the second date update, we're on the phone with a guy named Kenny. And Kenny, I'm just gonna be honest with you, man, from what I heard in the first part of this call, you sound like you work out. Am I right? I'm pretty healthy? Look at that you hear that, You just hear the testosterone in

his boyfriend. What part of your body am I thinking about right now, Kenny, arm It's the quads, Then it was the traps after that. That's okay. I'm still impressed with you. Thanks man. I mean they went to coffee. How did you get working out out of any of it. How did you not first thing that I heard it was like a coffee day he met her at the apartment Okay, well, yeah, so Kenny did meet a girl probably after he finished working out, who lives in his

apartment building. And this girl's name is Twixie. They got coffee together one morning. He learned she has a calligraphy business and makes her own jams. But there was an awkward moment the next day when he saw her outside and he meant to say something cool and casual, like I just came out here to stretch my legs, which is so cool but cool terms, Yeah, but instead that came out I came out here to spread your legs, oh,

which not good. Yeah. Probably it probably would have worked on me, but Twixie didn't have the same reaction, and she's not responded to his text after. Oh that's just not as true. So now Kenny's worried he may never get to taste twixie sweet sweet jams. Why are you so weird? Bro? That's just that's a true thing. Yeah, that's true. But like that, Kenny, have you apologized over text again for the miss speaking? Noah, I mean I

didn't want to pop on it. Yeah, I just kind of played it off like it was a joke and I didn't mention it again. But you know, it's bothering me out because I really liked this girl, you know, like, and you haven't run into her at all of the apartment building since this incident. I've been looking for opportunities too, and I just haven't seen her. She's avoiding you, Yeah, I think for sure. Yeah, well, let's call Twixie right

now and then afterwards we'll compare workout routines. Okay, all right, you got it, all right, but first let's handle this. We're Inbow the number. Here we go. Hello, Hi, can I speak to Twixie please? Yeah? What is it her? Hi, Twixie. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and I've got a hankering for some mixed berry preserves. I've heard you're my gal. Oh okay, he's not a little confused. I take it you don't

sell your jam on the regular, Twixie. No it, Joe. Sorry, I'm a little confused. Yeah. So, um, we're calling because we're doing something called a second date update. Basically, a friend of our show emailed us about you. A guy who lives in your building. His name's Kenny. Oh yeah, that was a long. Oh they're not in a good way. Yeah. So you remember him, Twixie? Yeah, I remember Kenny. Oh yeah, Kenny remembers you too. He told us about spending time

with you at the coffee shop. How was that for you? Oh he said that. Yeah, he told us all about hanging out with you and he really had a good time. But he's wondering why you're not calling him back. Interesting. Um, yeah, yeah we had coffee. Did you count that as a date? Um? It was sort of like not a date, but sort of date like yeah, the pre date almost like a kid Yeah yeah, I mean her dog was there, so it was like a third wheel was a long So it's not like a true first date anyway. It See,

we know a lot about you, Twixie. Yeah. Um, is that all he told you? Well, that's not all he told us. He also told us about an embarrassing interaction he had with you the following day where he came out and he fumbled his words. Oh so he told you what he what he said? Okay, oh my god. Yeah, So he's worried about that. Is that the reason that you're not calling him back. Were you just not attracted

to him or something? No? You know, so I did think he was cute, and I, you know, I had a good time on the coffee date, but afterwards I realized not, I don't really know a lot about this guy, and I happen to be friends with our property manager. Okay, so I, you know, did what any girl would do. I just said, hey, you know, do you know this guy had an impromptu coffee date with him? And my friend was like, yeah, well he seems like an okay guy, but he had a weird request and I was like,

well what was that? And my friend was like, so he requested to bring two large freezers into his apartment, the ones that where the lid opens up. Yeah, like people put him in their garage. Yeah, oh my god, why would you have two in your apartment? You have one of those when you're a family of five, a family is six and you go to Costco a lot r exactly. Not when you're living by yourself in a one bedroom. If you just went through a breakup and you're really sad, you need a place to put all

the ice creams lets up cos Oh my god. But I don't know why would this guy need it. I don't know why. I asked my friends. They said it was none of their business, so they just approved it. They approved it. He has two chess freezers, so I don't understand the why you're not calling him back because he has freezers. That's weird to me. At the risk of down in corny, like, I don't know, maybe he's

a murderer. I will say, chess freezers do always give out the vibe that there's a body in there, even if it's somebody's in the garage you're okay, you're worried that maybe he's a secret murder And that's why he asked the apartment building to bring in chess freezers. That's just what came to mind. I think most girls would take that. I mean I kind of had a knee jerk reaction too. And I heard two freezers in like a one bedroom apartment. Yeah, it freaks me out for

some reason. Yes, it's not logical, and I've probably watched too many bad movies, but it just seems real strange. Well, I don't know why he would need them either. Maybe we should just ask Kenny. I think so. Kenny you're murdering people, put him in your freezer. They usually say yes when you ask someone no, it's not. I mean, that's ridiculous. Why would you even ask the manager about me? What is going on? He's got on the phone, Yeah,

cold about you. Yeah, that's how these second date updates work, Twixtie. We should have told you that Kenny's been on the other line listening this whole time. Yeah, oh my god, no, yes, yeah, I mean, well obviously you're not responding to me, so I just wanted to see what, you know, how I can save this thing. But I mean, I think it's gone a little far now that you're you know, you're making assumptions about me murdering people, and you know, asking

the property manager about me. Why is that what you're focusing on when you should be explaining why you have two freezers if you really have to know, I mean, I definitely use one of them because I'm a cow crowding app. You know. It's for meat, Yeah, human meat. Human human meat is in there. Oh, it's like beef and chicken and pork or whatever, you know, whatever I feel like eating, I store it. So wait, Twixtie, do you believe them you think it's the freezers for meat.

You know, it seems really convenient. Now I'm saying, is a freezer full of meat. I don't understand why I'm supposed to believe him. I want to be left. I would invite you immediately to come upstairs and look at my meat. That did not help her case, Kenny. I thought it was pretty I mean, you know, look at the freezer. Let meat in the freezer. Yeah, yeah, come up a single woman to my apartment. Okay, so well, you said one freezer is full of meat. What's the

second freezer for? Then? Yeah? I do this thing called cryotherapy. You know, it helps me with training and so forth. Wait, what home cryotherapy? You're you got a chess freezer to sit in an ice bath? Isn't that what cryotherapy is. It's not a bath. It's like really cold temperatures that you like stand in. Yeah, for a certain amount of time. Dude, it is really dangerous to get inside. A chesszer doesn't lock from the outside. I asked my doctor and he

said it was totally cool. It was actually helped my performance. A doctor told you to do this, Yeah, I mean a guy I know online that said it and I just wrapped my body in gauze and get in it. Oh, an online doctor told you freezer make sense? Yeah, now you're totally good. I don't know why I even doubted you. But why do you have to wrap yourself in gauze? That's the proper protocol for cryotherapy, probably so you don't get freezer burn? Yeah, but you're sitting in a chess freezer.

You don't close the lid, right, Yeah, I close it to get the full effect. Why. Hey, I just want to know who's the guy in the back laughing at me? Like all the time. He laughs at everything. Don't worry so so Twixie. Now we know that one of his giant freezers is used to store a bunch of meat, and the other one he uses to do some home cryotherapy on himself. That does that work for you? No, that's almost weirder to me. Oh, you prefer that he was a murderer again. Now she got with the frozen

body parts. No, too strange. I'm not interested at all. Oh, hold on, before you start throwing out crazy things like that, I just have to ask you first, crazy, would you like to go on another date with Kenny? We'll pay for it. We'll supply the ice so you guys can cry oh, freeze together. He can show is no oh soccer got women. Women just do not accept anything from men these days. Just so judging Kenny. This is not

a DIY operation. Okay, you need to stop doing that and go to an actual cryotherapy whatever they are called. Why I invested all this money so you do it at home. It's like you're gonna go channing in the oven. No, yeah, yeah, make fun of me, it's all right. No, no, we're worrying about your safety. Yeah. Just make sure it doesn't lock. That's all. Oh my god. So okay, man, I'm sorry. Kenny's no second date with Twixie there. Do you feel bad for Kenny? It's not fair to judge people like that.

I'm with you, bro It's something I do for my top, you know, for training. I'll come line the freezer with you sometimes, Kenny, You and me, okay, thanks Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,