Second Date Update: Salty Saltine (#8)

It's broken Jeffrey in the morning, and we are clinging. In fact, we want to spend the entire holidays with you, which is why we are counting down our top ten second date updates.

Yeah, my kids wanted to do like Christmas time. It makes special memories and I'm like, no children.

Yes, we want to spend it with our listeners instead.

There's terrible dating decisions to try to fix.

Yes, that's where we're coming in top ten second date updates. We're at number eight today called salty saltine.

As opposed to but.

Good point. They'll hear it your number eight Second Date Update, Second Date Update d There's nothing wrong with bringing something along with you for a first date, depending on who you are. Could be like a small flask. Oh, could be a taser.

Yeah, you gotta be safe. I guess it.

Could be a blow up Yoda doll for after hours pleasure.

I'm taken also because anyone would leave you alone if you brought that y or.

You could also bring along a real life human being, because that's what one of our listeners, Chavon, did, She brought a real person on her first date with her.

You make it sound like an accessory.

Jeffrey.

She's just wears it's possible. Chavon, What's up? Were they out of inflatable Yoda's that day or what was the thinking there?

Honestly, I hadn't even thought about going that route. And I know it's weird, but I'm just getting into online dating and I'm just like trying to be super careful.

So yeah, so make a note of inflatable Yoda's. So what you just did? I see?

Who did you bring go? Is it a friend a stranger?

It's one of my good friends. In hindsight, maybe she wasn't like the best choice.

Would definitely gone with a bodyguard instead.

So before we get to the friend, can you tell us about the guy that you went out with? What's his deal?

Yeah? He was super cool, like not somebody I would normally go after. His name is Joel.

Does that mean what was different about him?

Because he's a bald guy and that's but I actually told him that and oh no.

What you told him online that you're not into bald dudes?

Yeah, that I'm usually not.

I'm just trying to be like, honest, you know.

That's what.

He liked it.

Obviously, sometimes I swipe right on people just to tell them, no, you're not my tight.

Weird.

What was his response when you said that to him?

Well, that's what was so great is he was like, I make up for it in other areas. He said, my arm hit hair is three times longer.

That's good.

I mean, is that a joker?

He's funny.

It's funny to some people.

I guess, like instant rejected.

I mean, he made me laugh and I figured that I would give it a try, so I said yes when he invited me to go get dinner with him. Okay, I was nervous though. That's the thing when you're new to this, like meeting someone, and I mean there's all kinds of like scary stories.

And as a guy, creepy.

Guy like share a location, I don't like bring a friend to the location and a text. Well, and how didn't you chatted with this guy for long enough to feel somewhat safe?

I know, but you just hear about like people getting catfished, and I was like, I don't.

Know, dude, he's bald, He's not going to catfish.

Maybe his under arm was a catfish situation. He said, But how did it go when you met up with him?

Yeah?

Well, I mean that's the thing. Like, okay, so I brought my friend like just this security measure, and I did not tell him about it beforehand.

Why would you not tell him?

What was his reaction?

Well, okay, so I showed up early and I was like talking with her at the bar, but I.

Didn't see that he was already there. So he came over and he said hi, and I introduced him to my friend, Saltine.

Saltine. Did you say Saltine like the Cracker?

Yeah?

Okay, that's her real name or is that a nickname?

That's her real name?

It could if you see an extra woman there, I would have been like, oh is this some other situations?

Yeah, I was curious, like is Saltine hot? Is it possible that she distracted?

She's very white?

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean she's really cute. And Joel was really polite about it. I think he was definitely surprised, but he was just kind of going along with it.

Okay, okay, so you and Joel and Saltine all sat down together for dinner.

Well, we had a drink at the bar, and then the host came to tell us that our table was ready, and.

He asked if we could get another chair.

Yeah, but I had said no, like I wanted to eat with him alone, and Sultine could just at the bar.

She's gonna sit alone? Why would she just go home?

At that point, he's still hovering Brookes.

I mean she's like really outgoing, you know. I mean she makes friends.

Like everywhere we go.

She's like very talkative. And I don't know she was already there.

Great.

I think most people will be like, sure, I'll just stay here, have another drink, have some food.

She'll keep an eye on you from a distance and have a good time. How was the one on one time with Joel?

So it was really nice? But she came over to like check on us, which was not part of the deal at all.

I did not know, So why was that so bad?

Though?

I mean, like everybody already.

Knows he checked on the brook. She's probably lonely though, sitting over there.

At that point?

Is that when Joel's like mood changed.

I mean she like went back to the bar, but then she was testing me, like, hey, we need to leave now. And he handled it well. But then after the date, I sent him a message and I told him that I wanted to hang out again and I.

Got no reply.

I feel like I came across as such a weirdo.

You know you did well?

You brought Saltine with your friend.

Reason.

Yeah, so I don't know what the reason is exactly, but like it's been a little while now.

And I've jumped back into dating pool and I've gone out with different guys, but no one is as cool as he was, and I really like.

Him crawling back to the ball.

All right, so you couldn't find a better option. We're gonna call him.

That's as good as we can do.

Now.

We can have Saltine on a third line.

No, I don't think so, we're gonna play a song. We'll come back. We'll call Joel and try to get your second date update, and then tomorrow we'll do an awkward Tuesday phone call with Saltine.

Oh okay, I'm into it.

I'm just kidding. Let's do the second update, next second date update. Some strange names that we've heard on this show before include Latig Gray, who you might remember had more than sixteen tiger tattoos on his body. It was a huge tiger.

Enthusiast, which game first the name.

We also had a young lady named Elizabeth or not Elizabeth Elizabeth thur with an er at the end.

It's a difficult one.

It was interesting for when Brooke was trying to make a point saying now Elizabeth.

Orth Or, I stuttered at the end.

And now we have a new person on the phone. They're actually not on with us here, but she's a large part of the story. Her name is Saltine. Saltine tagged along on the date with our listener Chavn, who was nervous about going on an online date for the very first time, and so while she was over at dinner with her date Joel, Saltine sat over it by the bar, just spying on them the entire time until she had an enough and actually marched up to the

I know I messed up when I took Saltine, but I really like this guy, like he is like the best thing, especially to what I've been going out with since.

Yeah, he's awesome, Okay, okay, And.

It was all Saltine's fault. We'll just blame it on her.

That's true. If you can blame it on her, and then you just say you're so awesome, I regret everything I think is an easy piece.

Maybe there's a whole different reason though. Let's just call Joel and see what he has to say.

You ready, Oh, oh my god?

All right, deep breath, here we go.

Hello is this Joel? Uh yeah, hey Joel.

My name is jeff from a morning rate show that you may have heard of called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Uh, yeah, I think I've heard of you, guys.

Cool.

Thank you for the good review.

We've heard it.

Yeah.

The funny thing is we heard of you too.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, good things too about you, Joel.

We heard it from somebody that you went out on a date with a little while ago named chavn.

Oh oh you do remember, because she said like thirty days, like a month ago, that you guys went out.

Yeah it's sun.

Yeah, okay, getting hints from the tone of your voice that it wasn't the best date for you, but we kind of knew that.

Yeah, uh no, it was not.

Was it funny?

You laughed?

It's just uh so we went out to dinner like a month ago, and when I went out with her, she ended up bringing her friend.

Yeah on the date, you remember her friends name.

Yeah, Saltine. Yeah. I thought it was crazy because when we matched online, I thought her name was beautiful. I love the name Chavon. And then on the date she brings this friend named Saltine, and I'm just like, this is the most absurd thing I've ever heard of my life.

Chavan said that you seem to be really cool with it. You're able to basically roll with the evening, which is awesome. How did it go?

I didn't want to be a about it. It was weird having another person there, but so I suggested it was get a table for three, and Chavan just said she's gonna sit at the bar and watch us. Immediately red flag somebody who's gonna watch us.

Okay, you're lifestyle chaperone, because I mean, I I do enjoy watching sometimes.

I'm just not into that voyeuristic lifestyle.

Chavan told us, Just wait, you're not. But Chavan told us that Saltine is kind of a like a fun type, like a outgoing social girl.

Yeah, yeah, she she seemed pretty cool. Again, like I thought we would sit together, but yeah, yeah, sitting alone. Only laughed about twenty minutes because then Saltine is like stumbling over to the table somebing, but she's drunk, clearly drunk.

What is she supposed to do twenty minutes an.

Then she starts coming at me saying how I'm the unlucky one that I didn't match with her, that he's the fun one, that Ron is boring there She's totally like, no, Chavon had gone up to go to the bathroom.

That's even, so you're with Saltine now she's the fun one.

No, I'm not with Saltine. I'm not with any of them.

Oh and that sex.

She thinks she's bringing her most trusted friend with her to help her out, and she's like to trying to steal her may look.

Ten minutes later, Saltine is getting like carted out of the bar. She was getting sticked out but off and Chevan takes care of her. She orders her an uber to get her home. So we just decided to call it early and I drove her home. And I don't like to judge people off their friends, but like, yeah, this was the pretty big red flag.

That's the worry that's gonna be hard for her to hear.

Yeah, actually she's already kind of heard that, Joel, because I didn't let you know this before. But Chavon has actually been on the other line listening this entire time. Wow, just spying in on the conversation like Saltine did. And now she wants to jump in and talk to you.

Yeah, Hi, did you know that, Cheffon?

No, No, I had no idea. I had no idea.

Yeah, you know what, I don't have any idea about how did she get my number? What?

Who got your number?

Saltine?

What what do you mean?

She's texting me apologizing about that night, saying how sorry she was, like begging me to go back out with you so much that she offered me money.

Oh my god, she wants to say you, pamp.

Is that what's going on?

Oh my god?

She sounds like she's a stable person.

I don't even really know what to say. I mean, I'm imagining that she probably got your number through my phone. I obviously didn't give it to her, and like, this is not a representation of how I am as a person at all. Like, I had no idea that she would backst at me like this.

And talking to her about her when she was in the bathroom. That was totally backs down.

What about the art where she tried to fix the relationship, it was like, you should go out here.

It's not okay that she did that. She should have stayed out of it, Like she made enough of a mess. She came over to the table, like maybe I would have had a chance had she not been such a creep, and then sling your number out of my phone trying to pay you to go out with me, Like that's so messed up.

Yeah, you know that she asked me out No wait.

Via text or when when she was drunk at.

The bar she texted me like last week asking if i'd be her date to some like dental hygienis ball.

Oh.

I mean she's wild and crazy and like I've seen her do some shady stuff, but like, I never thought she would do something like this to me.

And I bet you've been talking to her about how much you've been thinking about Joel and about how you wish you could go out with him again. Like that is hard to okay, let's just see.

Yeah, I think to me it sounds like Chevn is on the brink of cutting Saltine out of her life permanently.

Which may not be sad.

Yeah, so with Oh my god, I don't know if that's true, Savon, but if it is, Joel, now that Saltine is out of the picture, would you be willing to go out with Chevn just by herself? She's the stable one.

The boring one.

Yeah, have a nice right now, sorry, a boring gluten free date with and we'll pay for it.

You know, they're best friends. It's hard to just like best friends best friends, not.

My best friend. Like, I know, I know I messed up. I know that it was super weird and creepy what I did. I was nervous because it was my first time online dating. But I really like you, and I would just appreciate just one more chance. Please. I swear to Godine's not going to be there, She's not going to be anywhere near me ever. Again, honestly, I'm not crazy like her, and I was just really like, I just lost my best friend. Like, please, let this be some sort of like consolation.

Rise, Joel. Really, Saltine will not be anywhere on your date, but she will still be tracking your phone. So just keep that in mind. But I say, give Chavn one more chance.

You got to say yes to that, Joel.

Oh, yeah, brooking Jeffrey in the Morning, Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.