Second Date Update: Red Light Green Light

We got a brand new Second Date podcast for you today. Hey, it's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. And I am so curious what people think of this woman's we'll call it a life rule. Does that sound of a relationship rule that she has? Yeah, it's definitely controversial. I mean, I can see the upside and the downside of it, you know, and I think she breaks her own rule. So yeah, so interesting. That's a really good point. It's

The Second Date up date. What do you do if you're on a date with someone and in the middle, you feel like it's going mah, nick, do you a order a round of shots to get the party going?

You know, it really depends on the establishment.

Option. Be fake like you're choking. So she gives you the Heimlick and at least you get some action out of it.

A couple of broken rams too, and a.

Great story or c have a very honest one on one breakdown about how this date is actually going so far. I think I took the Heimlich option over that one, and I wonder if our listener Tina wishes she had done the same. So let's talk to Urtina. Welcome to the show.

Hi, thank you.

Oh my god. That intro makes it sound like you told your date in the middle of it that it was going terribly well.

You send us an email about this person's profile that you met on Hinge, and I'm just going to read some of the things that you sent from his bio before we even get to the story.

Okay, I'm interested.

So according to this his name is Josh, he's a specialist in education. His profile says he's dating with the intention of marriage.

Oh okay, sounds like a stable guy, good.

Career, and he's into skyscrapers and tropical fruits. Not sure why we would need to know that information for this, but it's it's nice to be over informed sometimes. So you ever put a big apple on the big apple this guy would freely out.

Sounds like if there's a lull in your date, you just bring him to a tall building and he's really excited.

Yes, all right, now we have an idea about who Josh is. Clearly you met him on the app. So what did you two do for your date?

We actually went to the dow the zoo Zoo.

It's a cute date.

Yeah, we got a couple of waffle combs and we just walked around but then animals and just talked a lot. All right, that's good, Well he did he talked a lot?

Oh okay. Does that have anything to do with the thing I mentioned earlier about when the date's kind of going?

Man?

Yeah, he's the one who asked me.

Oh, he asked you how the date was going?

Yes, because I was being kind of quiet and so maybe he wasn't sure if I was having fun, so he just asked, like, is the date going? Okay?

Is that the first question he asked you? Because it sounds like he was talking.

Yeah, what did you say?

I was like, do you want me to be honest?

I would have been like, no, no, and that would have made it fun, right, like lie to me. Anyway.

What happened, Yeah, because he said yes please, So I told him directly, Well, honestly, you're talking a lot.

Oh okay, good feedback next day, as a person who talks a lot, it's good to know that. Well maybe, but some people might take that differently. Did Josh seem offended by the critique.

No, he seemed more confused, like as if he didn't know he was doing it. But he heard me out and then he tried to take constructive criticisms and he did a good job of it.

Oh he did.

Okay, good, Yeah, okay.

We hung out for another hour, ended up grabbing drinks there because at the Zoom you can buy beer. Yeah, and I didn't even know.

They're offering alcohol at every kid's place these days. Parents are just like.

Them to like slough shots.

I don't think I think it's just beer and wine typically. Yeah, it's not like.

It's just to take the edge off.

It's not to turn up doing body shots at the zoo.

Maybe.

I mean if you bring your own in.

Okay, maybe a little bit of beer. A little bit of alcohol helped make the conversation go a little bit better.

It actually did.

Okay, it's just nervous, right, Maybe you're just a strikingly beautiful woman and he couldn't think straight, and that's why he was talking so much at the beginning.

You said it, she's not denying that. Well, how did you leave things at the very end?

Well, at the very end.

We just hugged and said goodbye. But while we were there, we worked on like an antelope puzzle and we did it together and it was fun, so it was cool.

So the date actually got better then after you told him like he was talking too much.

Yeah, it actually did. Like, I mean, he's more mindful. He asked me questions, he allowed me to be Yeah.

You did an antelope puzzle. Yeah, I mean it's a date, jeh.

I mean, I'm sorry you said it just led to a hug at the very end. There was no kiss.

No we text since then, but they've all been pretty short. So I feel like now maybe he's overthinking things and he's taking what I said too seriously.

Yeah, totally, he talked too much before and now he's not talking enough.

Yeah, I can see that he's over compensating, or.

It could be something completely different that I didn't pick up on.

Okay, but you're definitely feeling the vibe like he is not responding enough to ask you out again obviously.

Yeah, because like I'm sending him Freddy text and Ferdy picks and he not responded. That never happened.

She's like Antelope Skyscraper, Guava fruits. Problem is wrong with this man?

Yeah, you said it.

Je follow me for my sexy Emoji handbook coming later on in this winter names. No spoilers, no spoilers. Okay, first, we got to finish this second date update. We'll call Josh, get some answers, and do it right after this hold on Second Date update. I've learned two things so far today, Okay. One, you don't think at the zoo.

Okay, I don't believe you, of all people didn't know that. I mean, I feel like you sniff out a beer.

Wherever it is Zoo frequenter. But look for Brook and Jeffries listener Zoo Crawl coming soon. We'll meet you by the Baboons for Jaeger Bombs.

I think It's like, I responsible, you have a beer, Jeff. They don't only days Yeah. On Brook and Jeffries listener Zoo crawl Less passes out in the bar closures.

The second thing I've learned is with enough constructive criticism, you can change a man. Brooke already knew that. She tells me everything.

It is not worth your energy.

I said that because our listener Tina was honest on her date when Josh asked, how do you think this is going with us? And she was polite but said, you'd probably be going better if you talked a little less.

Yeah. Yeah, he heard her, you know, like that's the amazing thing.

He's like, oh okay, exactly. Their day actually went pretty good after that. He didn't run off and cry near the snake cage like most guys would. He actually stuck around, had fun. They got drinks, did puzzles. So maybe there's another factor playing into all this that we don't know about yet. So, Tina, even though he has all these issues, why is it that you want us to reach out to him today?

I mean, like, we had fun together and he's like a great guy totally.

Well, the fact that he could adjust and take constructive criticism and be mature about it. I think that's a big green flag.

Well, and anybody who's a talker knows that if you get nervous, your mouth just doesn't shut up.

Okay, maybe let's take some of our own advice. There, I shut it, and we're gonna call Josh. Let's listen to ourselves. I'm dialing Josh's number right now. Hopefully he picks up.

Here we go great, Thank you, guys.

You're welcome. Hello. Hey is this Josh?

Yeah?

Who's hey Josh?

Josh?

Good morning?

How many parts there?

What's going on? Yeah, there's there's a lot of us in here. Because we're a show. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, kind of like a Morning Zoo.

If you will.

I worked on a show called The Morning Zoh.

God supposed to be a joke.

I know.

Yeah.

You're on the radio right now, Josh. Uh?

Okay?

Why? Why is because we're doing a segment called a second Date Update waiting for response.

It's okay, he doesn't know what it is.

That's all right. That's a segment we try to help out listeners who have gone out with someone and they're not getting a call back for a second meet up. So that's the case with you and one of our listeners named Tina.

No, you're not letting the pause happen. Well, you're to give him a being. You know, he's processing a lot right now.

Don't force it. I'll try it again, Tina. Yeah, Tina, I remember Tina. Okay, so I know this is probably a lot. I'll just tell you that we spoke to Tina before calling you, and she told us about your hangout. She mentioned the vibe between you may have changed after you asked if everything was going okay in the middle of the date.

Yeah, that's true.

What did you think about her response?

Yeah, of her feedback, I mean she used this analogy.

See she called it the stop light rule.

Okay, stop light rule when she was talking about how you were talking too much.

Yeah, we're not familiar with that. What is the stop light rule? Okay?

Well she says that when you've been talking for twenty seconds, it goes from a green light to a yellow light because you've started to talk too long. Twenty seconds, Yeah, twenty seconds. And then you said, once you hit forty seconds, it's a red light.

What.

Ok that's not a general rule. You're saying.

Yeah, she explained the whole thing to me, and she said that I sped past the red light at least two to three times, which and I'm like, okay, I didn't know that, like there was a traffic.

Law for I mean, I guess to get to get conversation going back and forth, back and forth like that, ping. Yeah, I'm trying to count while you were talking. Just now I heard it. I didn't lose it.

And this is all feedback you're getting on a first date. Yeah, I mean we were having.

Drinks and like got a little bit of my story out and she was like, you still have the green, but only for another seven or eight seconds.

She's you're still.

I thought it was just one example and then they moved on from it.

She's got one of those big speeding guns. She's knocking him. I'm counting, keep going.

You're not talking enough now that would be difficult.

Yeah.

I like the rule, but it's stressful.

Is that how it felt, Josh?

Yeah, I mean and I felt like I was like on like my like driving test.

Oh yeah, when I was sixteen, the.

Instructor was like speed up, now, slow down, I use your blaker merge so I just kind of like lost all my confidence.

She's like, I love the way you parallel park that paragraph. Yeah, that was perfect. It's understandable. And you know what, I'm going to tell you something here, Josh. I don't think Tina meant for it to come across that way. And I'm gonna let her tell that to you herself, because she is on the other line right now waiting for me to hit my red light so you can stop talking. And I'm going to give her the green to go, So Tina, go ahead. The intersection is yours.

Josh, my god, Like, you make me sound so horrible even listening this whole time. Yeah, and you're making me look pretty bad here, Like, well, well, I think.

He was making you look bad. He was just saying it was overwhelming, Tina. It was a lot for him to think about.

What.

I'm sorry, but like, where's the lie?

Like I didn't say anything that was not true?

Okay, Well, to be honest, when you were talking to the radio, I stopped listening after about like twenty seconds.

Why are you so offended? You gave him feedback and now he's giving you feedback.

Because he has a tendency to like drone on and on, and he actually thanked me in a moment, and like, don't forget that, you think, I.

Like, what do you say to that?

Did you not ask me to give you honest feedback?

Okay I did, but like I wasn't expecting you.

Like accountability, accountability, Like it's not your fault.

You're a long talker. You just acknowledge it. And the goodness is you're trying to get better, and like I see the potential in you and it's so great.

I don't don't think it's a compliment. You think it is to tell people you see potential in them. It's like you like the person for how they are.

Now potential in you. Yeah, one day right soon.

I didn't mean it like that.

I meant it like he's improving every second and he needs me because like clearly, because now it's obvious like he hasn't learned his lesson because he is still talking.

And I also feel like the hosts are not even paying full attention.

That's true. I really don't pay that much attention.

They're not paying attention, like like I'm sure they are because you're being rude and insensitive.

Like so there, take that advice.

Oh, I'm always open for getting better, Josh, but if it doesn't come with a helpful analogy and a short one, then it's kind of lost on me.

Like actually the stop like things already been taken, so you need to find another sort of like commuter thing, some bicycle lane.

Maritime lawship relationships are not supposed to be this hard, especially.

But this isn't hard. It's a little I told you what it was, I explained to you how it works, and I'm pointing out when you go too long, So like, what's so hard about that?

It feels like one of those roundabouts where you don't know what the third exit.

I'm going to give everybody the red light here, okay, And I'm just going to tell you a little fun fact about me is that I am not I am not the best talker either, but I think something we can all agree on. Even Brooke will back me on. This is everybody, all of us here, and every person on earth, has areas in their speech they could personally improve on.

Shut up, What does that have to do with him thinking she was rused flaws? Okay, there's an easier way to say that our speech.

Yes, I think the twenty second rule is real because it gets after that.

Yeah speech, no more advice is needed, And I just ask, would you care to both improve each other's lives immensely by going out with one another one more time and we'll pay for it.

I mean I would do it again and do it for charity reasons.

So that's a big yes from Tina is looking to work and change you over the next few years. Josh, what do you say, will you be her project? I say, under like twenty words, I'm going to give you a yellow light on this. Yeah, I don't think so.

I don't want to feel like I'm going to traffic court every day for the rest of my life.

So a big note from me.

It's interesting most people think traffic court is fun. Well, it didn't work out, Tina. It's off. It's so much for something.

Jeffrey in the morning, red Light, green Light, yellow Fatal and squid Game and apparently in the dating world too.

How do you not make that connection earlier?

True funny probably should have, but maybe we should use it on this show. As soon as Brook starts telling one of her pathetic, ugly duckling childhood stories where she tried to show skin to the mailman and even he wouldn't pay any attention to her. Alexis, you're gonna start holding up colored cards and when it flashes yellow means time to start wrapping the story up.

I get red carded and you just.

Long Brook to get We know he left one was a little wonky and he wasn't interested. We've heard the stories.

He was always interested. Job doesn't matter how wonky things are.

But if you need help in your dating life, like Brooke did back in her teenage years, you can always email the show. We'll call that person who's not calling you back. And go check out all of our Second Day podcasts. They're up online where you get yours at Brook and Jeffrey