Second Date Update PODCAST: Should I Stay or Should I Love?

date update. That'd be a fourth date update. But I went ahead and I talked to the girl and she offered me a thousand dollars cash if we would do the second date update for her anyway. And you know what rules are meant to be broken sometimes, So, Kate, you will have my PayPal request in just a little while. Okay, yeah, I'll get it right out of You didn't know the second date update was going to cost you a thousand dollars, did you, Kate? Well, I didn't, but I mean, I

hope it's worth it. I swear when you hear the story, you're gonna understand why. Okay, so your email said that you've been out on three dates with this guy and now he's just stopped calling you. Tell us a little

bit about him. Okay, so his name is Andrew. It sounds really cheesy, but we were doing like a volunteered charity event and we met there and we were working together, so we just had a lot of time, you know, like hang out and talk and stuff, and you know, we had a connection and he asked me out on a date, and since then it's just kind of been like a whirlwind, you know what I mean, Like you're super into him and you see this going into like

relationship status. Yeah, I mean obviously not like right now at this moment, because I'm I'm calling you for a reason, but no, it was definitely like it was I felt like it was headed in that direction. Yet, what did you guys do for your dates? Dates plural? So my first date, it was actually really romantic when I'm one of those dinner cruises, which I probably would have hated if it was someone that I had turned out not to be attractive to you, But we had we had

so much fun. You know, like if I needed to see dropped on a boat with anyone, that would be the person that I would want to be stuf. That's actually a good idea for guys to take girls on a dinner cruise date for the first date because there's nowhere to go. Yeah, but it does say it does say that he was like really into you, because if a guy is gonna devote that much time and energy into a first date, he's obviously wanting to impress you. Yeah,

screw time and energy, just cash. That's not a cheap date at all. Okay, so you went on a dinner cruise, that's cool. Would you do for your other dates? The next date, we went on one of those like wine and tasting events at a bar, which was you know, like super casual, and it was fun because there were other people there and so we got to sort of like spend more time in a group of people and see what that dynamic is like. And it was really fun.

And then my third one was so sweet because I had just I was really stressed out at work and I think I had mentioned it like a couple of times in conversation, and so he books up a couple of massage. What that's like relationship status stuck. Yeah, So we definitely like took our relationship to the next level after that, and I'm you know, like starting to feel emotionally connected to him. And putting in you know, feelings and effort and time, and since then it has been

complete radio silence. That's weird. Time to put that much effort into all those dates, I know. And by effort you still mean money, don't you? Pretty much? But I mean, you don't buy somebody a couple's massage if you don't care about absolutely No. I mean, I wouldn't spend that much money, and I can't. I just can't believe he's like spent that much money for just a hook up like that seems laid a lot of work. That was

the first night you guys hooked up after the couple's massage. Yeah, so he stopped calling you after the first night that you hooked up. Yes, I know, I know, But the lead up is still confusing because that's you know, everyone's been in the hook up situation before, whether they like intended to or not, you know what I mean. And it usually doesn't have that much build up. Usually someone doesn't put in that much time and effort and then

go completely obsecret. It sounds like he was doing all that just to get in your pants, if I'm being honest, Well it does if he's doing all yes, would you do that much. I wouldn't. I wouldn't know, but a lot of guys would. I mean, if he's putting in all that effort and then stops calling you the moment that you guys, hook up sounds like that's all he wanted. Yeah, I don't know. I also like in my head, I'm kind of like wondering, was he like just getting out

of a relationship and did he fixed things? Did he did he go back to see and like all of it is totally like if that were the kid. You know, life happens. I just some kind of answer, just some kind of conversation telling you what happened. That's where my mind goes to. I think, did you stay the night at his house? Yeah? What was it like in the morning? It was really nice. It wasn't like hook up, you

know what I mean? If you know when it's a hook up, you're a woman, you know, like you've been there, you know. No, most women don't know when it's a hook up. I'll tell you that much. Totally disagree with that. No, I disagree too. No, most don't know. That's why there's clinging women who will text you after and think that they're in a relationship when they're not. It happens all the time. Sorry. I think she's right. I think the majority of women know when to hook up is just

a hook up. I completely agree. Okay, well, maybe the guy's a player and he's really good at it, and you don't know if that's what he's doing. He's really good, So I'm sure you've thought about it a ton. Then if you don't think it's just a hook up thing and he was just kind of using you, then what do you think it is. I'm trying to think of anything at this point. I mean, that's why, that's why

I need your help. I'm really interested to see why he would stop calling you after all those elaborate dates and leaving his house. That was the last time you've talked to him. No, there've been like texts, like little texts like you know, I've been busy, Like oh, you're just suddenly so yeah, he's like scheduling cruises and massages and then all of a sudden, his schedule just got so packed. All right, Well we'll play a song, come back call him and get your second date up date. Okay, Okay,

all right, hang on looking jubil in the morning, Kate. Yeah, seriously, I can't even believe that you want to call this dog back. Like, seriously, girl, you need to move on to greener pastures. Okay, because he totally used you and now he's not calling you back and I wouldn't even give him the time of day. You should not be doing a second date update. You need to move the along, all right, Snap out of it. Girlfriend. Let's you and I go get some cosmos and talk about this in

your mind. This is how female conversations go. Isn't it that that was my conversation with Kate about moving on? Kate? Are you about ready to call Andrew for your second date update? Well? After that, I'm feeling really inspired. The reason that I said that is Kate actually wants to call a guy that she has gone out on three dates with. They've all been pretty elaborate. The last one was a couple's massage. It was like a dinner cruise

and stuff in there. Anyway, after they hooked up. After the third date, he stopped calling her, hasn't responded to anything. So my first thought is that he just used her and just wanted to hook up with her, and now he's not calling her at all. That's why he's a dog girl, Kate, What if that is the reason, Are you just gonna let him have it? I'm gonna be really passed. Yeah, I'm gonna die this phone number right now and see we're gonna on the phone. Okay, Okay,

I'm dialing the phone number. Good. Hello, Hi, I was looking for Andrew. Yeah, let's to see Andrew. How are you. This is Jewil from brook and Jewil in the Morning. Okay, I'm calling you because we recently got an email about you from one of our listeners. I didn't submit for any contest or anything. Guys, Yeah, no, I know. This is not about a contest. Actually, I just need a few minutes of your time in regards to in regards to a date that you went on, actually a few

dates that you went on. What Yeah, we do a segment on our show. It's called the second Date Update. You recently took a girl named Kate out. She told us a little bit about your dates. They were all very elaborate and very romantic. But now you're not calling her back, and she's very confused. I'm just not I'm not sure to say. Well, you could start by telling us why you would blow her off after three dates.

It's it's not as simple as that. Okay. Yeah, I'm not trying to sound confrontational with you like it's I mean, I just want to know what happened, And more than anything, she wants to know what happened because you guys went out on so many dates and she said that they were all pretty romantic, and you seem like you guys really liked each other. Just a weird situation. I'm trying to it's it's been in my head and I'm just trying to figure this stuff out. Does that mean that

you are actually maybe in a relationship with somebody else? No? No, no, no, certainly not No. Okay, I wish it was that simple. It's it's more complicated than that. Let me ask you a question, just an easy question to answer. Did you like Kate? Yes? Very much? So you did? I didn't still do? Okay, so you still do? Well? Then why not offer her the respect of letting her know why you're not calling her back? Well, I just I accepted a job offer in Germany that I just I couldn't

turn it down. You what, I leaven a couple of weeks actually for Germany. WHOA, and that's why you're not calling her back? Well, I feel strongly for us. Don't know how to tell her, you know, I mean, yeah, I don't know what to say to her. I just I just figured the easiest thing would be just to, you know, disappear, fade away. Are you disappear? That's like the coward way out. You owe it to her to talk to her about what's going on. Like I said,

this is not an easy situation. I'm I'm struggling as far as how to deal with this and what to do. Why are you struggling so much with I mean, you guys have been out on three days. It's not like you've been dating for months and months and months and you're leaving. Why not just call her and say, hey, I'm moving. Sorry, we can't see each other anymore, you know.

I mean I really like her a lot. But okay, so you see a future with her if if you were going to stay here and Germany wasn't in the picture, there's no question in your mind that you guys would continue this if I was going to stay here, definitely, no question in my mind. But now that the reality is Germany, there's just no chance because you know I'm moving. You guys could maybe try a long distance thing. That's not fair for me to ask her to do something

like that. You know she's she's super sweets gorgeous. That's not yeah, but how do you know? You don't know, I mean, you're putting your feelings on her, like you don't know how she would react to. I am putting her needs first. She didn't deserve to be in a long distance relationship like that with someone. She deserves someone's going to be there with her, contributing to her life. I'm putting her needs way above mine. I still know what to say. It sounds like you really like her

a lot. Yeah, yeah, I do. Man, that sucks. I honestly, if I were in your position, that would be hard to meet somebody that you're I mean, I guess it sounds like you're falling for and then you're like, man, now I gotta move. Yeah, it sucks, but some consolation German chicks can be kind of hot. Okay, okay, that's not where we're going in the making more money, obviously. Can I ask one question though, did you know that you were going to Germany before that last couple's massage,

slept together night. No, no, no. In fact, this is from a previous situation I had to develop over the course of three or four months, so I thought that the opportunity had kind of fizzled out. But it turns out it was just taking a little bit more time and then they may be an offer. I just had to have to jump on this. Wow. I'm just really excited about this Germany thing. It's it's the dream job I've always always wanted. But at the same time, you know, I feel like I could be missing out and not

being able to share something like that with someone like her. Well, then why not just talk to her about it? I agree. I know it's early on in your relationship, but why not just talk to her? Man Easier said than done. Guys, not really, because she's actually on the line listening. Excuse me, I said, she's on the other line and listening to this conversation and wants to talk to you take on the phone. Yes she is. Yeah, him, I don't really know that. This is a lot. You've been on the

phone the whole time, the whole time. I'm I'm sorry, I I'm sorry I stopped calling you. I just it was the only way that I saw to handle this. It's okay, I'm um, I don't really know what I would have what I would have done in the situation either. I just I just I wish you would have told me. But what you don't even like mentioned that you applied, I know, you just like I didn't even know they youn't even like applied, you know, like you didn't even

that wasn't mentioned. Just see, it's in regular conversation, you know what I mean, it was if so, it's like really out of left field. Well, yeah, I honestly I thought that that I thought that that prospect had kind of just fizzled out long, you know, long before I even met you. So it just kind of popped out of nowhere. Again. It just really sucks because I like have really, I mean, I I have strong feelings for you. I have strong feelings for you too. It's just not

fair for you. It's not it's not fair for us. You know, life is just not on our side, it seems, um, Well, Andrew, maybe maybe life is on your side and that's why you guys are being connected in a second date update to talk about it, I guess, I mean I think about you every day and I want you know, I mean, the long distance relationship is really really hard, and it's not fair me to even apply something like that, even asked that it's only been three dates, but you know,

I can't stop thinking about you. So my heart says, something in my mind says something different, you know, Okay, I mean, I'm just gonna ask for you. Would you do a long distance relationship? I don't know. I mean, somebody's going to step in and ask her what her opinion is that whole matter. I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I don't know because it's not it's not really being put on the table. It's not like a real question, So I don't. I don't know.

It's also it's so soon and it's so new, and in general, would I would I do along distance relationship? Like in general in life? What I consider it? Well, yeah, I would, but it's not really it's not really what's being asked now. Well, the simple fact of the matter is, you know, long distance relationships suck. You know, I mean, this is really hard. I mean, my heart says, something in my mind says something different. You know, I'm thinking that I just need to sever this, cut this off,

but I can't stop thinking about you. So I'm feeling like I need to ask you to go with me. No, I know that's crazy. I shouldn't have even said that. I'm sorry. I feel like I just like a phone. You know, you don't want me to go with I mean, we've been on three days. You can't, it's not that's not like a real Is that a real question? Well, I don't. I don't think. I don't want to put words in your mouth, Andrew, but I don't think you

were actually asking or to go with you. I think you were saying that's the way you feel, you know. I'm just not sure at this point this phone calls. Really it's even more confusing now. It seems like but it sounds like to me that if she would say yes, that that is exactly what you're asking, I wouldn't want to ask her that. You know, that's that's just a huge bombshell to drop on somebody. Know, it's a lot of pressure to put on her. Let's let's play a game, Andrew.

Let's put this relationship ship seven months down the road. If you guys have been dating for seven months, would you ask her to go with you to Germany? Yes? Wow, Kate, what do you think about that? If you were dating seven months, would you go? This is like, ah, like anypathetical situation. I mean, if if we have been dating in the same way that it's been, if we just continued down the same path that we started, I don't see why I wouldn't consider it. You guys, have a

couple of weeks or whatever till you leave. I mean, you could bond, You could spend every day together. You could see how it goes up until then, and then maybe in six months you could come join you you got it all figured out by this whole thing is It's just crazy. No, So let's just step back and let Kate process this. Well, how about you guys process together. Would you like to go out in a second, well fourth date with Kate? We will pay for you guys

to go out again, at least before you leave. You want to go? I mean, yeah, yes, yes, all right, Well keep us keep us updated on what happens. Okay, okay, all right, we'll try all right, and until you leave, Andrew, I want you guys to process as much as possible. Just keep processing every night until he's got a text in at seven eight, five nine two that says, O MG, I need them to get married. I feel the same way. I am right there with you. Brook and Jewel in

the morning talking about today's second date update. This girl named Kate wanted to call a dude name Andrew. They have actually gone out on a few dates, so technically it wasn't a first date. And then she's not getting a call back. They'd gone out a few times, he stops calling her back, and of course she was wondering why. It's kind of weird, but we got him on the phone and it turns out that he actually really liked her a lot. They both like each other a lot.

But he got a job offer in Germany and it's like his dream job. So he's like, well, I'm gonna be leaving. So it's the point of continuing this. It's just gonna be bad for both of us. I can't ask her to do a long distance thing. Three dates in and then he was like, well, I mean maybe you could move with me in like seven months or

something if we continue the relationship. It's still alive people, and she said that she would be willing to think about it because they both like each other now, so I guess they're gonna work on things and talk about it and figure out where their relationship is headed and if they can make it work. From Germany. But everybody texting in at seven eight five nine two is just in love with today's new sweetheart couple. Do you know why? Because people love love and I love them for that.

It really makes me so happy. I mean, you don't want this girl to regret, right, I mean, even if it doesn't work out, at least you tried. And then you know. Of course people are texting in seven eight five nine two saying they're crying in their car for these guys. They're gonna be so disappointed if these two get together and they're like, well I went on on her fourth day and oh man, like Germany. Two mus later he cheated on. Yeah, the whole thing is just

screwed up. Now, thanks a lot for doing that second date update and having us go out again and planning our future because my life is wrecked. I can't get back from Germany now. I don't have enough money because I moved out for this dude. So it can either go really well or really bad we'll try to keep you updated on that. Every once in a while, we'll get back in touch with the people who do the

second date updates. This is obviously one that we'll have to ask them in a few months how things are going. It could be very happy or very sad. I'm staying optimistic about it.