Second Date Update PODCAST: Divorces Do It With Baggage

a grapefruit. What you can either sift through all the grapefruits to try to find that perfect one, you know, or you can take the easy way and just grab one of the ones on the outside that's been kicked around a little bit, it's a little damaged. It's a lot easier just to go for one of those grapefruits, you know. Sure it might have some bugs and some bruises, but it's still a grapefruit. And that's what Huxley did today. Huxley is a man after my own heart and decided

to go after the damaged grapefruit. Still working on this analogy. Hey Huxley, what's the grapefruit's name? The grapefruits name. She's actual woman. Her name's Alicia. Alicia. All right, tell us a little bit about Alicia. So Alicia and I go like way way back. We were good friends in college, and I was always like that guy that had a crush on her. Okay, wait, so you're the damage grapefruit or she's a damage grapefruit. Well, I guess in this scenario,

we're both damaged grapefruits. A couple of damaged grapefruits trying to go out and have a good time. Yeah. I always had a crush on Alicia. She's always been like the most attractive girl. So she of course always had a boyfriend, and every single time that something would happen with her and her boyfriends, I was always the guy that was there for. Oh, well, you're trying to position yourself right, Yeah, well no, I did have a crush on her, but I swear her book there was no

like agenda. I'm a I'm a really good grapefruit. I'm one of the ones from the inside. So anyway, um tatsu present day, I see her Facebook that she got a divorce recently, and I saw maybe like a potential opening. You saw that she had been divorced, and you're like, just damage enough now that I could probably date her. Yeah, well, I thought, to be honest, I thought about some of the good times we had in college and figured why not reach out. I did see like a little bit

of an opening that maybe something could develop. Like she's single, I'm single. There's really no reason why not. And you guys had kind of dropped off in terms of your friendship post college. Yeah, she got married pretty early on, and then I left and moved like a couple hundred miles away. I mean, keeping in touch today it's like so easy, but back then it wasn't like that easy,

I guess. So, yeah, we kind of fell out of touch with each other, and I decided to do like I said, to reach out, and then, to my surprise, reached back out to me after I messaged her over Facebook. Did you proposition this as a date? Um? No, Well, I just kind of like shared my condolences, you know, on her divorce. That's never easy, and we started to like chit chat back and forth, and eventually I did ask her to, like, you know, maybe we should meet

up for drinks. She thought that was a good idea. Okay, but do you know, did she consider it a date? When you guys went out, I didn't cross that boundary because I didn't know how fresh the divorce was, and I didn't know she would be kind of turned off. I asked her on a formal date, you should have just sent her a message on Facebook that simply said break up sex with a question. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if that would have if that would have worked. She keep that in mind for next time. All right,

So did you guys actually get together? We did? Yeah, I was. We met at a bar and when I saw her walk through the door, it was like a total flashback to college and like a lot of feelings were immediately felt by me. She did not age at all. I was like smitten to I guess, I don't know. I was like taken it back. It was pretty, It was cool, Like it was a cool moment. So how did drinks go? It was good. We had a couple

of drinks. We caught up, and then she kind of opened up to me about her marriage, and because I knew the guy and the actually like her vulnerability allowed me to open up about my divorce that I had too. So how did everything end with you guys? Well, I mean we were you know, had another drink and we decided to call it a night, and on my way out, the door. I still was venting a little bit about

my breakup, which was nothing like hers. My marriage only lasted like a year and that ended like seven years ago, which it's not even all my radar. I don't even know why I said this next thing, but while we were walking out the door, I admitted that the last six months of my marriage we didn't even like have sex at all. Okay, right when I said it, it it was like word vomit. You feel like that was too much information for her. Yeah, she played her real cool

and she was real nice about everything. But it's like one of those moments where you like too much and now like you can't take those words back. And I felt like maybe that's the reason why she hasn't called or texted back. Because it was a good date other than that. Okay, but did you know it was a date? Yeah, it doesn't sound it doesn't sound like it. Yeah, well for me, it was a date. It was nice. You know.

I did ask her, like I said while we were leaving, that we should hang out again as like a formal date invitation. You know, so you said quote as a formal date invitation. No, I'm not. I'm a great for not a robot, I said, like, we should hang out again. This was fun. Again, that doesn't sound like a date. Well like the way I said it though, it was like there was like a vibe. I was spending some signals out that it was like more than just friends.

And what did she say to that? She said yeah, and she was like in twos and it was cool and U And that was the last I heard of you know, like I reached out to her again on Facebook to try to put some dates on the calendar so we could go out. And then I haven't heard from her. And on Facebook you can see when they see your message, and I know she's seen the messages, which is have you sent her a message in all caps saying I know you're seeing these answer. I'm teaching

you a lot of good tools here, Huxley. Yeah, you lead you down some good stuff. Ready, we'll play a song, come back, call her and get your second date update. Okay, awesome, Thank you so much. Yeah, hang on frooking jubil in the morning. Second. Hey, Huxley, I think this second date update is gonna work out for you? Oh? Really? Yeah? I do? Well, you know, because the girl that you want to call, she just went through a divorce. You

went through a divorce. I think once you guys talk about you both will realize you don't have many options, and at the end of the second date, she will agree to go out with you again, because hey, why not? That's what I'm thinking you. Yeah. Nice. If you're just tuning in for the second day update, Huxley is on the phone. He wants to call a girl named Alicia. They actually have known each other since college. They kind of fell off a little bit after college, but he

always had a crush hunt her. She always had a boyfriend. Then she got married. He recently saw on Facebook that she was divorced, and they started chatting and he said, hey, we should go out and talk and hang out. They did, but now she's not responding to him. And maybe have you thought about this, Huxley? Maybe your date was so bad that she went back into the arms of her axe. Yeah, a second date update is doing wonders for my confidence? No problem, man, All right, I'll dial her phone number

right now here we go. Hello, Hi is this Alicia? Yeah, this is Alicia. Hi Alicia, This is jebil and I host a radio show called Brooke and jew bil In the Morning. What my name? My name is Jubil, and I host a radio show called Brook and Jewil in the Morning. Have you ever heard of it? Um, I don't think so wonderful it means we're doing our job. Yeah. I actually wanted to call you today to ask you about a guy that you recently went on a date with, which we do a segment on our radio show called

the Second Date Update. That's basically where if you go out on a date with somebody and then don't call them back, they email us to see if we can get you on the phone and ask why. Oh, okay, that's that's fun. I guess it is kind of fun. I like it. And the guy that emailed us about you, his name is Huxley. Huxley Huxley. Yeah. Do you know a lot of Huxley's. I feel like that's not a very common name. No, I only know one Huxley. And have you gone out with Huxley lately? Yes? I didn't

hang out with him recently. Okay, good, we've got the right person on the phone. Then, well, Huxley he is wondering why you won't answer any of his Facebook messages or phone calls or anything. After you guys hung out. I mean, I don't know, you don't know what. I don't know why I haven't called him back. You have to know why you haven't called him back. There's got to be a reason. I don't know if I should talk about it. Why not. He's the one that's asking.

I mean, we're this is a radio thing. Yeah yeah, but I mean he's he contacted us to get a hold of you because you won't tell him, and so he's confused. Is there anything that you can tell us? I mean, we used to be really good friends in college. Come on, you've got to get you gotta give this man something. He has been crushing on you hard for

a really long time. He has. Yeah, he says he's had a crush on you since college, and you always had a boyfriend, he could never ask you out, And then he saw that you were recently single, so he decided to take the chance, and you guys actually went out, and now he wants to see you again. But apparently you're not calling him back. Um. I mean that's really flattering, but I don't think I'm going to go out with

him again. Oh you should have heard the way he described you in your beautiful smile, and how lovely you are, and what a good person you are. I know. I mean he is a really nice guy. I mean, Huxley is great. Okay, So if you like him so much and he's a really great guy, why not give him the respect of at least letting him know why you don't want to go out with him again? Okay, fine, I just don't want to date a guy who's been divorced. Wait what what? You don't want to date a guy

who's been divorced. No, it's a huge turn off to me. Well, wait, Huxley told us that you were recently divorced. Is that not true? That is true. I just don't want to date a guy who's divorced. Is it because you're just not ready to date yet? No? I just I don't want to date a guy with all of that baggage from being divorced. But you can see all that sounds a little strange though, right, Like you're divorced and you're saying you don't want to date a guy who's divorced. Yeah,

I mean, it's it's just it's just different. It's it's very different. All right. So even though you've been divorced. You just will not date a dude who's been divorced. Yeah, that's right. You understand how hypocritical that sounds, right, I mean, divorced guys are just always bitter, and they're always talking about how women are going to take their money just like their ex life did. That is a huge, huge

stereotype that I don't think holds true those really. I I know a lot of divorced dudes, and I've never heard one of them say that, Actually, well you're not dating, are you? No? Unfortunately, because a few of them are loaded, and I would love to. Hey, Alicia, it's very interesting reasoning. Thank you for being honest with us and giving us an answer. Yeah, I just prefer a single guy who

is completely unattached. Just my thing, okay, And my thing is surprising people by letting them know that somebody's on the other line and they're listening, and Huxley is actually on the phone and heard this whole conversation and wants to talk to you. No he's not. Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Okay. I don't understand your reasoning at all. It makes no sense. It's just my thing. I don't want to date a

divorce guy, but you're divorced. Yeah, but you're a divorced guy and I'm a divorced woman, and it's very very different. I don't think it's very very different at all. The difference is I divorced my husband, but you lost your wife. So that's a very it's a very different dynamic. Oh yeah, I won my divorce, you lost yours. So you have more baggage because you didn't win your divorce. So are you saying, Alicia that because you're the one that divorced

your husband, you have less baggage than Huxley. Yeah. When we were at the bar, he told me that his wife broke up with him. I mean I left my AX. So there's a big difference there. Oh my god, I did not know that. My my acc and I split like seven years ago. It was like an amicable split. She left, but it was completely like amicable. Both sides agreed that it was over. So it sounds like you're chaining your story now because that's not what you told me.

It's the bar. What are you talking. I mean, I said she left me, which implied like she left the relationship. I mean I would have thought differently if you had left her, But it sounds like you are not the one in the driver's seat relationship. You are You just being mean and petty because you're really hurt by your own stuff you're going through. No, I'm not being mean and petty. I'm telling this guy what I want out of a relationship. How is that being mean and petty?

So you look me better if I divorced my wife. Yeah, actually I would prefer that you weren't divorced at all, But since you were divorced, it is better if you left her the other way around. Wow, I mean, look at it this way. When some people get a dog, some people like get a new puppy, and some people like to adopt a rescue. I want a new puppy. Oh my god, Hey, Alicia, would you like to go out on a second date with Huxley? I probably know the answer, but we will pay for a date if

you go out with him again. You know, I think I made my point pretty clear, but I still would like to be friends with him. Oh, how can I possibly just be friends with you? After all of the stuff you just said about me? You're damaged. I just don't want that in a relationship. But I'm fine working with you through it as a friend. Your damage damage, but here yourself, you are damaged. You are the damaged one. But I'm not as damaged as you because I left

my husband. I'll let you guys argue this out later about who's the more damaged in this situation. Alicia, thank you for your time. Huxley. I'm sorry you didn't get a second date out of this whole thing. Yeah. Thanks, But you know what I will do for you, Huxley. What's that I'll ask our listeners? Text in at seven eight five nine two. We have a beautiful rescue on the phone. His name is Huxley. If you'd like to adopt him, text us seven eight five nine two in

the morning. Text in at seven eight five nine two saying She's right. All divorce guys have baggage. Can jewel in the morning. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm talking about today's second date update. Not really the point. Huxley wanted to call this girl named Alicia. He'd had a crush on her, and like high school and everything, they reconnected. Finally went out. Well, she didn't want to

go out with him again because he's divorced. Yeah, shocker, she just got divorced, and she says she doesn't date divorced guys even though she's had a divorce. I mean, she treats it like she won the divorce somehow, which I always I mean, I've never been a divorce, but I always thought everyone was a loser in this situation. She says, because she chose to have the divorce, it's okay,

she doesn't have baggage. But his wife left him. That means he has baggage and she doesn't want to date him because he's been divorced and he didn't win his divorce like she did. Wow, He's like, dude, it was seven years ago and I was only married for his years. I swear I'm fine and everything else was great, Like that's the only thing I'm pretty much everybody texting in at seven eight, five to nine two is saying that he dodged a bullet with that one. I think so too.

I mean, come on, but they agreed not to go out because of course he's got baggage. Yeah, but she she can be his friend and help him through through his package. Remember, she sounds like a good person to get advice from. If you want to do a second day update, all if to do his email the show, and we will call the person who didn't call you back five