Second Date Update PODCAST: Crab Man

do lots of drugs and alcohol. Oh yeah, we're talking about artist. It sounds like a good life. I mean they're basically one step above radio people. Yeah. Maybe that's why I'm yea, because we're all those things. But at least the artists have a little bit of talent. Yeah, but I have a problem. Yeah, like, come on the artist. Nobody ever says you got a face for art either, you know. So I feel very very honored to be speaking with a real artist who needs our help at

the second date update today. His name is Seth. What's up, Seth? Hey, how's it going? Oh? You you're too happy to be an artist. We're trying to be Bob Ross or something. No, no, that's where the drugs come in. Oh okay, Yeah, like I was saying, yes, we're not all moody and then depressed people. But you know we some of us do actually make a living selling our paintings. You're a painter, then I am. Yeah, I have a specialty. Actually, I've developed a sort of niche for myself over the years.

I've been paying pictures of crabs and you know they do Okay, they don't do I'm not cool. Okay, So so if we go to the art expo and we ask for the guy with crabs, they'll point us in your direction, right right, that does happen. It's not like crabs like it might be thinking. It's sort of like crabs as if they were like members of society, you know, like it's like the dogs that are playing poker, but

exactly like crabs on taxi, Crabs getting a tattoo. You know, I actually have one, which I thought was really kind of ironic. Crabs at a restaurant ordering lobster. Yeah, didn't you call about a date? Though? I mean, this is great. I just want to talk about her. I think we're talking to like, you know, in a hundred years, people are going to look back on Seth kind of like Leonardo da Vinci like time, and your crab paintings are going to sell for millions of dollars, a legendary name, Seth. Yes,

all right, such a crab man. Yeah, crab man. All right, But no, I am calling about a date because I had a recent experience and maybe you guys can help me out with this. Okay, Well, what's the name of the woman that you went out with? Her name is MICHAELA. And yeah, at an art expedition, I was telling my paintings and she was very interested in one. I've actually

bought one from me, which was super cool. So all right, so you were able to pay for the dinner when you guys would out right, it's nice to give woman crabs on the first meetings? Did you ask her out? Is as I been you typically do with customers. She bought the painting and then she just kind of hung around, you know, as we were talking, she was just asking me about my work, and I started flirting with her a little bit. I started using, you know, some jokes

and I tell you know the crab jokes. Uh, you know, Like I'll give me example, what do you call it? The crab has a part time job? What a side hustle because it hustles to the side because crabs sideways anybody. Yeah, there's a little bit of a dad joke there. Anyway, So she did, and how you are talking? And we actually bonded over our mutual love of coffee. We both trenk a whole lot of it. I mean, like eight to ten cups a day day. No wonder you're talking

so much. Yeah, yeah, I've already had about four cups so far. A couple months ago, I bought a really high end quality espresso maker. It costs to me about two thousand hours. It's amazing. So I told her about it, and she said that she wanted to see it, you know, And I was like, well, great, that's my end, you know, And so I said, well, if you'd like to after I close up here today, you know, we can come over and I'll make you a cup of coffee and

we can hang out a little bit, you know. I mean, that's honestly the least innocent cup of coffee date I've ever heard. Yeah, I mean, that's an old cliche when you invite someone up to your place for a cup of coffee. Yeah, but you're talking an actual cup of coffee. Yeah, come for the coffee, leave with crabs. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so she comes over and I fire up a machine. I make a couple of espressos. I steamed some milk,

you know, nast grouse. She likes it. I've got not just a mis maker, but I've got a whole set there that I could just make any kind of coffee drink imaginable. You got Starbucks inside your apartment literally, So was she impressed. So she's really impressed. She said she loved it. You know, we talked her a little while, and then she decided that, you know, she she had to go home for some reason. You know, they had. Firstly,

I think that we were starting to connect. We were having sort of a spark a moment between us, and I don't think she wanted to take it so soon. I mean, she may have not even thought that this was a date. Yeah. So was there any part of this experience that was very romantic for you? Yeah? Well, I feel like there was a strong connection. It was flirty, you know, it was just there. That was you say that, but she's not calling you back, so you obviously read

something a little wrong. Can you think of something that went wrong? Well, I don't know. I mean, like when she started to leave, I took her downstairs to get her uber. I tried kissing her, but she pulled back from the kiss, so that didn't work out so well. She actually hid her head on the car as she pulled that, Like, no, that life. She didn't hurt herself,

you know, just a little bump, you know. I just pictured her like trying to climb into an uber and you're leading over fowing her with the kids, and she's like trying to scramble away as fast as it sounds so terrible, I swear I'm not a creeper. Yeah yeah, I mean nothing about what you've described sounds like it would be a reason for her to not call you.

Is there anything awkward or weird that happened during your encounter? Okay, there was one point where we bumped into my ex wife, but it really was like no big deal class over that. I mean, I thought for sure it was hitting the head while trying to escape a kiss. But where does the ex wife come in. Yeah, it really wasn't a big deal. I mean it was it was quick. My X and I we've been divorced for about five months and we just fan into it. She said, Hi, it

was it's nothing. I can't imagine that had anything to do with it. H Yeah, I can't. I can imagine really easily that it had something to do with it. All right, Well, we're gonna play a song. We'll come back and we'll call MICHAELA for you and try and get your second date up date. Okay, I appreciate it, Thank you so much. All Right, if you're just tuning in, we're on the phone with Seth aka the Crabs guy,

which it's not a reference to his romantic history. Sets an artist that specializes in painting crabs in humanlike situations. I love it. I want to buy one. Yeah. I kind of like it too. You know, one pincher is bigger than the other. Kind of makes a funny dynamic. Yeah, imagine just crabs playing basketball, crabs eating tacos, eating taco Yeah, you'll you'll get it. He does. He does all all the funny things that crabs do in human situations. Yeah.

So Seth met a woman named Michaelo while selling his art in an expo, and they had a nice stay together. She bought one of his paintings. They bonded over their mutual addiction to coffee, and he even showed her his two thousand dollars espresso machine back at his place, And there was an awkward moment at the end of the night where he tried to kiss her at her uber and she pulled back and ended up hitting her head

on the car door. But beyond that, he's not really sure what could have caused this day to Yeah, he like non slotly adds at the end that he ran into his ex wife's only been divorced from for like five minutes or five months whatever, same difference. Yeah, he did drop that in there too, So one of those things must be the reason. Wonder you can't figure it out. What are you feeling here, Seth, Yeah, I don't know. I really hope that you guys can convince her to

see me again. I think she was a lovely person and we hit it off and we had a great time. You didn't describe your interaction with your ex wife at all, Like, I feel like we need some sort of background on that before we call this girl. Yeah. Honestly, it was so inconsequential. I mean, it was nothing. It was just sort of like a high end buying kind of moment. All right, I don't know. I mean it's only five months whatever, Michaela and see what she has to say.

Because we could speculate about this all day, we just got to get to the bottom of it and make or call. Are you ready to do the seth? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, all right, let's style the phone number right now here we go. Hello, Hi, can I speak to Michaela please her. I'm Michaela. My name's Jeffrey from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. Do you have a second to talk with us? What is this about? Well, we do a segment on our show called a second Date Update.

That's where if you go out with someone and afterwards, if they're not calling you back, you can email our show and we'll reach out to that person for you to figure out the reason why. Okay, and what does this have to do with me? So recently we got an email from a guy who's frustrated because he's been trying to get a hold of you and you're not calling him back. His name's Seth, Seth Seth. Yeah, oh, the artist that you bought the crab painting from. I

mean it did sound like a chill hang out with him. Yeah, No, it was cool. I've bought a painting. It's crabs bowling. He didn't tell us what pa, It's okay, it's good. I like it all right. Well, he told us a little bit about you guys hanging out, and he said, from his end, it all seemed like you guys had a great time together. And he's not sure why you're avoiding his phone calls. Really, he didn't mention anything. Well, he didn't mention a few things that he's worried might

have ruined things. But we'd like to hear what happened from your perspective. Okay, Um, well, I don't know like how much he told you his crab painter. I met him at the art show. He had all his crabs on display. It was cute. He's like one of the quirky artist type guys. Yeah. I picture him with curly hair for some reason. Anybody else I'm sure does he have curly hair? You know what he does? I do it.

That's the problem as curly hair. I'm just saying he's quirky, Like we did talk to him, and he's kind of a little nutty for sure, But he's nutty. I feel like that's not a nice thing to say. Oh, it's not bad. He just sounds like he drinks a lot of coffee too. He's fun, he's you know, he's an art guy, and I'm kind of like that too. I'm like a little a little weird, a little out there. And so what exactly is the problem though, Like what

went wrong where you're not interested in seeing him again? Well, if he told you about our day and what happened, I'm sure you can kind of guess what the problem was. I mean, he told us about the attempted kiss at the end of the date where you knocked your head on an uber trying to get away from him. Yeah, you know at that point I kind of was just over it and ready to ready to head home. Okay, so it happened earlier. Yes, So did he tell you

about the whole wife thing? Yeah, he said ex wife. Yeah, that there was a quick running Yeah, he kind of downplayed it as like a five minute or just quick like high by. It was kind of weird, but you guys moved on. Okay, Yeah, so here's what really happened. So cut over to his place and he wants to show me his two thousand dollars espress a machine, will have a cup of coffee whatever. Cool. So as soon as we get in, we walk over to the kitchen

and there's a woman. There's a woman in his kitchen. Yeah. Yeah, she's like cooking something or fixing something. I don't know what she was doing, but it was a little weird and just like, oh, hey, you know, this is Mikayla. Hey how are you doing? Okay? And so I'm guessing you were assuming this is as a roommate or something or like a friend. So I'm like, who is that? Like why is there a chick in your kitchen? You know? Oh that's my ex wife? Oh wait, I'm like, why

what do you want? I ran into my ex wife? Happened in the kitchen, so like once she left the room, I was like, who is she? Like why what is this weird three company dynamic going on? Like what is this? So being it's being very just like nonchalant about it, like it's no big deal. You know, she's a next wife. We've been in a divorce for like five months now, the mail order bride and uh, it didn't work out? Oh my god? Second, are those the words he used? Yes, verbatim.

Here's a mail order bride. So she's someone who married him to get a green card or a visa to come to the States. I don't know the situation with that. Oh okay, can I fast something? Can I clear something up? Well, hey, MICHAELA, we didn't wait to call him in, but he messed it up. We need to tell you that. Sessmin on the other line listening and he heard everything that. Just are you serious, Michaela. They're supposed to wait, MICHAELA. I

thought I'd explained to you. Okay, when when when she came over to this country, and yeah, she was a mail or heer bride. It just didn't work out. Can you even use that phrase? Like? I don't get it? Like you got paid to marry her? She paid you? Where did this? What happened? It's an arrangement. She wanted to I'm here and we communicated an email, it back and forth, and we thought we would give it a try, and you know, it just didn't work out romantically. We

realized we weren't a match that way. So if you're the force, doesn't she have to go back. We're trying to figure it out. I feel bad because I brought her over here. So what I've been doing is I've actually communicated with the company that arranged us, and we're trying to find her a different mail order husband somewhere in the areas, like a rescue dog. Okay, you don't just like pair her with a new house like those ads like singles in your area. And I'm pretty sure

this is highly illegal. I didn't know you guys were gonna call him. I thought we were just talking about what happened. Yeah, I love your crabs. You're a nice guy. But you know, look, is there anything that I could do? I would really like to see you again. I thought that we really connected. Next time we get together, I can actually make sure that she's not there. I'll give

her a text ahead of time. That's convenient. Thank you. Listen, Maybe you should have focused on rehoming your moller bride. I think there are different possibilities in different ways that relationships pan out, you know, And and I just I thought that you and I really connected, And I'm so glad you appreciate my art and I really want to share things with you, and it would be really nice if we could see each other again, you know, but he still lives with his ex wife. We realized we're

just not compatible that way. You know, we will sleep together, but there's no emotions there, said, why are you dropping that? I was like on board with you? Why are you doing that? It's emotionless because I want you. I just want to understand that. She's really no big deal. Yeah, how would she feel if she heard you say that? She doesn't speak English, she couldn't understand you. Guys, I don't know what to tell you. MICHAELA, So I was,

I was all lost on board? What do you think we'll offer to send you in seth out on another date. We'll pay for it. Yeah, it's gonna be a no. I mean yeah, it's gonna be a no. Yeah, there's yea in there. Yeah. Let not close the book on this chapter and come on, let's I know we can have some connection. Listen, how about next time you're having a show, you can text me. I'll pop in and check out your crabs. All right, okay, okay? Yeah? Is that successful? If that's all I can get I'll gladly

see you again at my next art show. Okay good, and I hope, I hope you love your crab bowling. I've never been happier about a man giving me crabs before. It's it's crabtivating if anything. Nine two point five