Second Date Update Classic: Pan-Bandoned

Second date, updated dipping out on a first date without saying goodbye. Some of us have done it. Some of us have had it happened to us. Jose even went to the extreme of hiring producer Boyd as a waiter once to come up to his table with an envelope and say, excuse me, sir, are you mister Jose Bolanos? STD results just came in from the kitchen. Oh it's not good.

Wow, it looks like the kitchen is not the only thing burning. Yeah, okay, I don't want to eat from that kitchen.

Point is, there's creative ways to get yourself out of dates. And one of our listeners had it happened to her recently. She just wants to know the reason why her name is Tara. Tara, did your guy use the STD trick too?

No, I don't know about that, right you wish though.

I'm really glad that you're laughing right now.

Yeah.

I mean it's a good sign that you're not taking this all too personally.

I'm laughing at off.

Yeah, tell us about the guy that you went out with. What's his name, what's his deal, his white cell blood count?

We want to know everything, Okay, So Yeah, right, I met this guy. His name is Mac. He was really cute. He was nice. We met like at the police stage when we were both donating some canned food.

Oh my god, I'm glad you finished that sentence.

Wow.

Yeah, no, No, we were donating canned food, and I don't know, we had a lot in common, and somehow we got on this conversation about like what's the best corn on earth? And corn corn? Yeah?

Is there different types?

Of course, it's definitely an unusual question to have just come up, like naturally I heard another word and I was like, oh, there's all times of that.

Front there.

I guess we were donating like probably canned corn or something. Yeah, why did I put that together?

Sweet corn? You like that tricolor stuff?

That makes sense?

Well, my favorite is the roasted corn. Actually road So he says to me, Hey, maybe we should go to the fair grounds because I don't think you believed Mary said he didn't believe me about the corn or whatever, like.

You're talking like a corn on the cob at the fair slaughter it and butter.

I mean that maybe the first time ever that a flirty corn conversation led to an actual date. But good for you, Tara, sounded kind of corny.

See that's why it doesn't work.

Yeah, you're right, all right, Well you ended up going to the fair with him.

Yeah, so I met him there at the fair day.

We haven't heard about it yet. You take one girl of the fair ever, and it's fun trying to win the prize.

Yeah.

What what's the next thing that she says is the ferris wheel collapsed of people? You were still at the fair? Okay, it's a good location. I mean, how was it? Was it a fun date for you?

Tara? Yeah? Yeah, it was great. I mean it was nice. You know, we met there and we tried the corn. He agreed, it was fun. We had a good time.

That's a cute date. Super hot food to eat in front of the one.

Yeah yeah, yeah you should have seen me. I was like trying to make it all sexy, just.

Got like butter all over.

But anyways, we kept walking around, we had some drinks, ing on ride. We played the duck Shooter games.

I don't know if you guys knew that, So where did it go wrong?

I don't know, Like that's what I'm trying to figure out. Oh, you don't know, Like when we played the duck Shooter game, he didn't win, but I did, and I won the future Panda.

I'm okay.

Then, feeling seriously about a little fair.

Games want to win you price?

Are you serious? Your ego is that fragile?

Yeah?

My god?

It just as a guy, you want to be able to show up for your date and do something special, and when you fail in front of a girl, it's really embarrassing.

Fair Game. Did his attitude change after you won the panda and he didn't?

Yeah, you know, like I don't know. I thought we were having fun goofing around, and then he got a little edgy over it and didn't seem like he was holding a rudge or anything. I mean, it was only a panda, but.

He was holding a grudge. He was holding a panda. Just feels like a red flag.

But okay, so you were able to move on after the duck Hunter.

Yeah, so he seemed to let it go and he was fine. I gave him the panda because I had used the bathroom. He was okay, holding it. Okay, come out, and he's gone. He took off.

WHOA where the panda? Yeah, where's the pandemic?

The pan the pandam was there. He left the panda, but he was gone.

Oh no, that's like an emergency escape route.

I've never had to do that. It's really weird.

It can't be over a fair game. I mean, yeah, it's not that mightst be honest. I would just sulk the rest of the night and ruin the date.

I would or what did you do? Tara?

Well, I texted him because I figured, oh, maybe you know, he went off to do the bathroom himself, to get something to eat, you know whatever. But he didn't get back to me. So I was like, Okay, that's weird.

So how long did you wait before you realized he had left left?

I thought I waited probably maybe in another forty five minutes.

Oh you poor, saying yeah, no, no, she's sad, pandah.

So anyway, I laughed him. I was kind of mad, obviously.

Yeah, I'd be more than kinda Yeah, that's rude.

So I kind of was. I didn't I didn't text him right away. I waited probably about a week, and then like one night, I don't know, I had she was too many wines, you know, I was a little mad. So he kind of sent him a drunk text. I didn't mean to I was like, I don't.

Know, and he deserves it. Why you hold him back?

Like?

Why do you even want to call this guy?

Maybe something horrible happened.

To him and he left the panda what he was abducted at the fair? I mean, what could possibly.

It's happened to me before and then and then he never.

Text that he did go after this text? He did him initially when I was at the fair, but he did. He sent me a sorry with a sad That's it.

That's all.

That was it.

He doesn't feel guilty.

He does it sorry with one little sad piece.

Yeah, but it sounds like you don't really want to get another date with him. You're more interested and finding out the reason why he ditched.

Yeah, that's kind of it. I need like closure. I feel like, I mean, I don't know. I just don't understand where it went wrong.

All right, Well let's try and find out where you did go wrong. We're gonna play a song, come back, and we'll call Mack for you and try and get your second date update.

Okay, okay, great, thank you.

Second date update. I just can't get that image out of my head. A lonely stuffed Panda bear left all by himself, abandoned in the middle of the fair grounds with nobody there to hug him. That's an image that's gonna haunt my dreams for months.

Wow.

And I guess our listener Tara got abandoned there too when her date Mac disappeared randomly. But I know Tanna sounds like a strong, independent woman. That poor helpless panda was just left sitting in the rain, crying out for someone rain, the snow, and sleep. The tornado nearly took him up, and he is just crying out for anybody to love him. And I want to get some answers and some justice today for Tara, but mostly for that

I think it's been like four days.

Oh, okay, only four I was picturing like two weeks in my mind.

But she needs answer now. We're not gonna wait two weeks. Answer.

Well, we're looking for a little bit more of an explanation. So let's call Mac right.

Now, demanding an explanation.

Yes, Panda needs to know, that's right.

Jeffy.

So here we go. I'm gonna Dilla's number right now. Let's do this.

Hello is this Mac? Yeah? This is Max Man is calling.

Mac the Panda abandon her.

Mac, it should lave excuse me?

What was that?

Look? Mac, I'm calling from the radio show brook and Jeffrey in the morning and we're trying to get some answers here for one of our listeners that you went on a date with recently.

Oh like wait, your radio station calling about like, uh like the second day thing?

Yeah you've heard about it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have.

All right, so I don't even think that you should be eligible for a second date. But here we are.

Okay. I apologize for my co host Brooks. She's a little bit bitter because we heard the story of what happened with you and Tara at the fairgrounds. Yeah, but we only heard one side of it. We're calling right now to get your end of the story.

Yeah, you ditched her, Man, Why did you ditch her? I?

Actually I feel very I'm so embarrassed. Like I have to tell you, Uh, I really liked Tera a lot and everything was going really good on the date.

I gotta tell you, is that your go to move then yeah, yeah, yeah, crawl.

And I really have meant to call her, and but I've been dealing with like literally a lot of stuff since I was on that date.

Stuff A text takes like two seconds. What I mean, did you get an emergency call or something? Is that why you had to leave while she was in the bathroom.

I'll explain. I actually just the weirdest thing. While she was in the bathroom, a kid came up to me, like sixteen seventeen, okay, and asked me if I would buy him some beer.

Why would you buy a teenager beer?

Because he's cool.

I don't know.

They were just like, you know, they looked just underage. So I just thought i'd help him out and I said sure, and I went to the beer area.

Oh my god, so many more red flags popping up.

You guys. I know it sounds weird, but I mean I was a kid too, and I don't know, and this is like, let me just buy this kid some beer. And immediately I got the beer and cops came out, you're.

Buying teenagers beer? But they were like, narks man.

Is that what you're saying, yes exactly, And I was shook. I never expected that to happen. I was like, this is going to be a five second thing, and I was instantly cited for providing minors with beer. Took me out of the park to get my info. And it gets worse. I hadn't paid my registrate. They looked up my plates on my car and I hadn't paid my registration for like three years.

Oh so you just driving around for three years on expired tabs too.

Sometimes you just kind of put it aside, and you're like, it's been a year and no one's done anything.

Father.

And they impounded my car and they took me to jail.

Oh you know that you explain the more you seem like a guy who's worthy of a second date.

Oh my god, So you ditch her because you got arrested.

Well, I don't know if you can say he ditched her, dragged away from her and him.

I didn't spend too long in jail, but it was just I had to deal with getting my car back right now.

Yeah, I mean his biggest mistake was not putting a post it note on the panda explaining what happened to me.

Sorry, I went to buy some teenage boys alcohol.

It's a big panda. It's gigantic, So I just left it there for a second to buy the kid beer. So I don't even know what happened to the panda.

Well it was it was left there and Tara had to find it and had no clue what happened to you. That's why she's been freaking out wondering what's going on. It does make sense why he only.

Said sorry, Yeah, I just felt embarrassed. I just don't know how to explain it. I thought she wouldn't believe me. I thought that there's no way anybody would believe me.

Well, no, I really do.

I mean, I believe it. But let's find out if Tara believes you, because she's actually on the other line listening right now and wants to talk to you another.

What are you talking about?

That's how these second dates work, Tarah?

Are you speechless?

Tara?

Are you there?

I don't believe it. I shouldn't believe it.

You don't believe him?

Actually no, I believe him. I just like the story is nuts. Okay, that's just crazy. I would have never guessed a million years. That's why he wasn't there.

He was trying to party with some teens man.

Oh my gosh, But I gotta ask you a question, like what kind of cops were these that you were dealing with. Were they cop cops or were they like fair cops?

You mean like security guards at the fair, guards like you know, the ones that.

Don't know they had like badges and handcuffs and things.

There's cops at the fair. I've seen police officers at the fair. Why does that matter?

Yeah, what difference does it make to you, Tara?

Well, because it's their Fair cops. It's like he should have taken off. I mean, you should have stayed there.

You wanted him run?

I don't know, it's just the first thing I thought of.

You know.

It's like sometimes fare cops are just always hanging around and they're just checking on people. I don't understand why you wouldn't run. It just seems like a bonehead move to me.

I don't know, you wanted me to run away from the cops.

Yeah, one of us, probably Fair cops. That's not the same thing, you know what I mean.

He eventually got taken down to a police station. I mean, even if they transferred him to other cops, Like, it's not I just can't believe your red flag is that.

Yeah, I'm just you know, I'm gonna tell you something. I'm not gonna go into detail about it because it happened in the past, but I did have kind of an issue like this the lad game with the what game milk jug game the milk you.

Mean the game where you like toss the softball into like the milk, the giant milk can knock them over and knock them over.

Yeah, you know, I just took off. I kind of hid behind the big stuff animals, so like I bolted. It may be fine, It was fine, it was blown over.

I don't know, it doesn't sound that doesn't sound like the same thing.

I know you're being pretty vague about your story, but I was literally caught with alcohol being given to a miner.

I am just shocked at where we're at. Yeah, so it is not what I expect.

You're not disappointed that he bought some beer for some miners at the fair. You're just more disappointed that he chose to get himself arrested rather than try and run.

So he am kind of disappointed in the whole thing. I don't know, like it was domb for him to buy the beer, and it's also dumb for him to knock get out of there quicker.

Yeah, well I have I have.

A really important question that I think the whole room is thinking about right now. Yes, I will purchase alcohol for you, Jeffrey, not that I'm talking about the giant panda. If they were fair cops, why wouldn't they let Mac take it with him when he got arrested.

I don't know what's happening right now. This is kind of like a weird conversation.

What's happening is I'm going to offer to send you out on another date with Tara, and we'll pay for that date.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know, Tara, if you want to go out again, I mean, I promise I won't be selling anything to anybody.

Okay, Tara, no, thank you.

All you had to do was text me and we could avoided all of this. So I don't know.

Oh, okay, God, this is harder than winning one of those fair games.

Okay, we'll have fun and maybe next time you're at the jail you should probably go out with like an actual criminal.

That is the silver lining from this. Somewhere out there, Tara, there is your bad boy who's willing to run away from the fair. Oh yeah, you will find him one day.

Thank you.

It's freaking Jeffrey in the morning.