Second Date Update: Bending and Unfriending

All right, we got a guy who put in a lot of effort in today's new episode, Welcome to the Second Date Podcast. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, and he did an entire theme date and it only took his date fifteen minutes to say I don't like this. Yep, And now he's on with that yep.

After all that.

You're gonna hear what happened here in just a second. But first we love to feature your comments.

Yes, Alicia said, I'm listening from Canada. I listened to you guys while doing the dishes and shutting down the house for the night. I'm the house closer in the family, so I get the evening clean up shift and your podcast has me laughing the whole time.

That is such a genius way to split up chores like yay.

And night morning.

Yes, yeah, who's the closer? Who's the openery? I love that good Canadians are smarter. Yeah, I'm sorry, I just got it down. Alright, Your brand new Second Date update starts right now.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning Second Date Updates.

What do you do when you book a date somewhere and the location for the date is off like things are good between you and your person but for whatever reason, whether it's the dive bar is too divy or the speak easy is too easy speaking. At that point, what do you do then?

Okay, well that's when you see someone's personality really sucks.

No, they're great, it's just the place is wrong.

You can't That's what our listener, Aaron was faced with that exact dilemma, and he managed to make lemons out of lemon trees.

None of the.

Expression. So let's learn a little bit more.

I don't know, but he did not go to the easy speak Okay.

Well, well let's find out where he went. Aaron, Welcome to the show man.

Hey, it's good to be here. Thanks for having me.

Okay, welcome to the orchard. Yeah, where lemon trees grow thrived.

So we would love to get into your date. First, tell us about this girl and how you met her.

Okay, So her name is Elise. If I'm allowed to say that on the.

Air, I hope.

So.

I can't believe you just came out with that.

Is she in a witness protection program?

Hopefully?

I don't hear from her lawyer, but I met her online and her profile said that she liked to travel.

To travel. Okay, oh, all right, something unique?

Don't hear that?

What I did was I took her on an airplane theme date.

If you know what I'm saying.

I don't know.

I mean you boarded a plane and flew somewhere.

Did you shed in line for a long time, holding lots of luggage and pretend like you're in TSA?

No, in retrospect, flying somewhere exotic might have been cooler.

But I took her to a restaurant close to the airport so.

We could watch the plane, you know, take it off and land. It kind of romantic, right.

Plane spotting.

I think that's what a cute idea. It shows that you paid attention to what she liked and you tried to find a unique way to try it.

Yeah, she must have been surprised when you came up with that idea.

She was surprised by it being as close to the airport as it was.

I thought it was romantic.

But the engines were so loud we ended up not even able to hear each other.

Oh no, is that really important for a first date? Though? Was that you said?

Every ten seconds?

Another one? You have a brother, that's awful.

So she asked why we're eating at the airport, and I'm kind of thinking to myself, do we do we get through this?

Do we go our whole first day just yelling.

At each other, or did we just get on out of there?

So that's what we did.

Oh you left? Okay, you guys, did you pivoted? And she was interested enough to go to a second location with you?

Yeah, you know, I did say sorry, it's because I thought you'd like to travel. But another restaurant, it was quieter and we kind of talked about ourselves a little bit more.

Okay, Okay, it sounds like you had great conversation. Was there any weird points for you? Well?

I think it was good for the most part. I told her a bit about my job on an escalator tech. She told me that she was a pairalegal, and I didn't even know what that meant. As a matter of fact.

You can save that for your next date if we get it worked out for you.

Okay, there you go, There you go.

But you know, the conversation gotten deeper, family friends stuff. We're really interested in passion, that kind of stuff.

Yeah, I mean, if anybody starts asking like deep questions about your family or the people that you spent a lot of time with. In my mind, that would be a really good sign. But I don't know, Alexis.

For you, would that be a good.

Conversation for you to have on a first date or are you trying to avoid You're just trying to tread water.

That's bringing it down.

I'm just saying, like, just because you're like talking to someone about that doesn't mean you like them like them.

You could just be interested in the conversation and.

Like or off of that, you could just feel like this will get them to talk for ten minutes.

Yeah, tell me about your family.

You know.

Were you getting a vibe from her either way?

Well, I definitely got the impression that she was really trying to get a feel of who I am, which made me think that she was interested.

She actually cared, Alexis.

I mean, even though she's not calling you back now, at least for that part of the conversation.

She was into it.

How long ago was your date?

It was about five days ago?

Okay, Okay, yeah, that's like almost a week.

Yeah.

How did you to leave it that night?

That's when it got awkward.

Actually, as soon as they cleared the plates.

At the end of dinner, waiter, did we ask if we want to dessert? She just said, we'll get to check when you get a second.

Oh, your date asked for the check immediately before the waiter could even offer to bring the menus back. I see as a former server, that's kind of rude. A lot of times there's a whole spiel involved with the dessert menu.

He's like, do you know how hard? I don't to memorize that, give me.

My moment, but it sounds like maybe you got the feeling that she was done hanging out with you.

Yeah, she was ready to leave.

Exactly exactly she paid for half of it. She insisted on paying for half of it, and there was no kiss or hugs.

She just walked to her collar.

Brook, Why did you say oof? Is that not a good sign?

Well, I mean, it's one thing if there's a discussion and you're like no, let me know. But it sounds like she just didn't want to feel in any way indebted to you.

Yeah, you pay if you don't really want.

To, Like, yeah, I don't know what's up with that.

Okay, we're about to call Alice in a second here, but your email said, you're really hoping that we can get a hold of her because, quote, she's the first quality girl that I've been out with in half a year.

Six months is a long time.

Okay, some people get a lot more dates, and you know what, we want to do that for you, Aaron. If you did mess up, we would like to figure out what exactly the mistake was that could help you for the next future six months of bad dates.

It'll help him fix what's with her and go out with her again.

Yeah, Brooke, you are right, but I do want to be realistic here. Okay, she's not calling.

Him back, but let's find out why when we come back and do your second date update right after this.

Brook and Jeffrey in the morning Second date updates.

You know, I really like our listener, Aaron, because he sounds like a good dude and sourceful too. Not only was he a thoughtful guy who planned a very special date for a lease because she said on her profile that she's really into travel, so he took her to

Which is too bad because I feel like you really proved you can handle a situation.

We love a good pivot.

Yeah, yeah, thank you, You're welcome.

Trying to hype you up a little bit because sometimes these can be a little rough.

The thing is what caused her to have the sudden change of heart and basically storm out.

She didn't storm out, She just asked for the check abruptly. Yeah, and then Paige.

For its stormy stormy adjacent all right, I don't know. That's the thing.

We don't know.

That's the whole point of the second point. So we're hoping to find that out. If she answers our phone calls, and we are going to call her constantly until.

She picks up.

We're not creepy at all.

No, no, you.

Quo with that, Aaron I already, oh yeah.

Beautiful, committed to this, all right, We're all in let's do it.

I'm gonna call it right now.

Hello, Hey, Elise, this is jeff from Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

How are you doing.

I'm sorry, who's this?

There's a radio show. We're called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning. Good morning.

This is Elise. Right, we didn't actually confirm that.

Now there's a lease.

Even if it's not a lease, we'll talk to you.

Okay, this is so random. What are you calling about.

We are calling about this segment we do. It's called the Second Date Update, and the reason for it is one of our listeners has reached out hoping that we can get a hold of you after you went on a date with him.

You're not calling him back anymore. It's a guy named Aaron.

Oh my gosh. Okay, all right, yeah, so Aaron, I.

Don't really understand why you guys are calling me.

Because he told us about the day that you two hung out near the airport and then at a second restaurant.

And he was like so bumped because he had like come up with this great idea based on your interest of travel, and then it kind of backfired.

Okay, okay, so you guys know about the date.

Yes, and what we don't know is if there's a reason why you're kind of it seems like to him that you're avoiding him. No, and actually, according to him, you stopped the date kind of abruptly.

Yeah. No, no, I mean things just sort of ended, like he's he's really nice. Honestly, if I'd met him last year, it probably would have worked. But now I'm just like, I'm just adhering to like some strict dating rules that I'm not breaking, just so I can have a lot more clarity in this whole dating world.

Oh that's interesting.

Ye, like he's shorter than your minimum or something.

No, No, nothing like that.

Sorry, I'm enough to apologize for my co host Jose here. He doesn't like rules to hold him back.

He hasn't been able to follow him since Kindergarten a rebel.

But if you've laid some rules down for your dating life that could be healthy.

Can you share any of them with us?

Are we allowed to know?

You really want to know?

Yeah?

I mean, honestly, people listening maybe like that's a good idea.

Especially especially if Aaron had broke one of them.

Okay, so here they go. Number one.

If you don't make good money cut Number two. If you haven't gone to therapy cut.

Waait wait what if they haven't gone to therapy?

Ever, you don't have to deal with other people's baggage.

Therapy.

They're perfect, got it?

No, not that anyone's perfect. A lot of men haven't dealt with a lot of stuff, and a lot of guys that have been on date with want to trauma bond and I'm like, I'm not doing it.

Yeah, okay, I mean these are interesting, but we do have a required time limit on this segment.

So how long is the list going to be?

Exactly?

Can we get to our guy broke?

Yeah?

There's just five.

Okay, the first two money and therapy.

Number three.

If you're rude to wait staff or janitor's cut?

Yeah, was he rude to one of the waiters at the restaurant? No?

No, he wasn't.

Okay, Okay, that wasn't the one.

Number four. If you've ever lied to a cheated on a significant other? Cut?

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Who hasn't lied to a significant other? That's so bad?

That's true, Sorr. I always focus on the cheating part.

I don't mean like a white lie, I mean like living a double life.

Okay, I think, Okay, big lie.

And number five and this is the one that got him.

Okay, here we go.

This is the rule that he broke.

If you have any friends who lie or cheat, cut, why would.

Your friends behavior dictate who you are as a person.

It doesn't dictate who you are, but it's who you're hanging out with really determines the kind of person you're going to be and the values you have.

Okay, but wait, how do you know that one of his friends lied or cheated? You know?

I asked him, has he ever been cheated on? And he's like, no, forget that. My friend was but he got her back, he cheated on her and blah blah blah. And he was like super enthusiastic, and I was like discussing.

Yeah, so okay, So your logic is because one of his friends cheated, that cheater on a cheater, that means he is not worth dating.

I didn't say he's not worth dating for somebody else. I said that I don't want to deal with that.

We eliminate almost anybody, like everybody is friends with somebody out there that these.

Are her standards. That's the hard thing is you can't argue with how somebody.

Feel, and we can, I guess respect to your rules. The good news is I didn't hear any rules about not quietly listening in on people's phone conversations, because that is what Aaron is doing right now. He's on the other line waiting to talk to you.

Hey, Lee, how you doing.

That's kind of insane, right WHOA.

Well? Why am I getting punished for that?

I don't want to involve myself at this point in my life with people who support liars and cheaters.

You didn't hear like he didn't because his girlfriend cheated first and broken.

I don't care. I don't care.

Like you're here like trying to justify it now, and that's literally just making it even worse.

But he sounds like a strong person who knows who he is. Like sometimes that can be true, where if you can be influenced by a friend, if you're not totally certain of who you are. Aaron seems like he's there.

Man, Sorry, you got all that information from this phone call?

Or did you date him?

He's our friend. We're trying to help them.

Yeah, that's that thing with friends. If you're calling everybody and anyone your friends. I don't know.

I just I'm just trying to keep.

A tighter circle at this point, and I just want to be clear about the kind of people I want in my life.

Yeah, okay, So it sounds like your mind is made up of Lisa and there's no way that you will break or even bend this rule to give him another chance.

I don't know. I mean, honestly, if he's one the sever ties with this guy, I don't know, maybe with his friend, I might be runing to go out again.

No way, no way, Come on, I wanted.

To break off an entire friendship, I would say I.

Wouldn't want to date someone who would do that.

Yeaharon, what do you think about that ultimatum?

I'm flabbergasted.

I have never met anyone that is so I don't think you know that that's my best friend.

He rubs a non profit for children. What I would sit here and say, he's a good guy.

Yeah, most cheaters are, they slid by.

And just because you cheat was doesn't define who you are as a person for the rest of your life. Like, it's not like he was like sleeping around on his wife or something.

You know, at least go ahead and tell my co host why she's wrong.

Listen, you guys can say whatever you want, but this is what I believe. If he's willing to sever the friendship, we can try it again.

Okay, oh my god, but.

I need to look at your phone and see you deleted his number.

Aaron, do you want to ditch your best friend in order to go out with a lease one more time?

Because we'll pay for.

It, just a small stipulation to a nice second date.

Exactly.

We just need a yes or no Aaron.

Gosh, thinking about it, I think I can't.

I can't do that.

I can't cut off.

My best friend because for a second date.

And you know what, and that's why we didn't even have to have this conversation.

I left there as politely as possible.

I paid for my food.

And if you want to go ahead and defend your friend and his negative energy, he guess could just be toxic together. I gotta go.

Oh wow, my god.

Oh dude, I think she hung up.

I don't know. Are you sad about it?

Eric?

I mean, you know, this conversation kind of helped me move on a little bit.

I just think that's so hard headed.

Anybody else fund in ironic that like if he would have stayed at the airplanes flying over, she would have probably never heard that. Yeah, relationship of all time.

Rerook and Jeffrey in the morning.

When a woman gives you an ultimatum to permanently cut ties with your friends after one date, that means she really cares about Well.

That's nice, Jeffery. You don't see it as any sort of red flat.

No, she was the absolute best for you.

It's just like I remember my mom used to tell me my friends were a bad influence. Oh, and you know what she was right, Oh she look where my life ended up. Yeah, and she would have listened.

To her, And look at the healthy relationship you have with your mother.

I bet ten years from now, Aaron's going to be working, probably in radio, looking back on this moment, saying I should have listened to a lease, should have ditched my friends, and I would be in a much better place.

It's doubtful. Yeah, it's highly doubtful.

I don't know he values friendship. I guess, so good for you, Er, I kind of understand.

But like if every single friend you had it was a cheater, maybe you have some kind of point. But one person cheated one time, accidentally and he hasn't.

That cheated on first.

Yeah, because that's even hard.

The guy works a nonprofit for kids for him.

I mean, gee, all the owners of those places are kind of shady.

If you ask me.

Nonprofits don't typically have owners.

That's why exactly.

Shade D.

Anyway, if you got some shady business going on in your dating life, you can always email us and we'll reach out to that person who's not calling you back. If you're listening to us on podcasts, make sure you hit that subscribe button.

We're can Jeffrey in the morning