Welcome to the podcast. We're so glad you're here, especially to start off your Monday. Yeah, it's Brooke and Jeffrey, the home of the Second Date Update, and you found us. We've got a brand new one for you today where you are going to learn all about the Tow of Steve. Oh, yes, very educational. Did they know about this before? Moose? Yeah, it's a thing.
Yeah.
Had you ever abided by the rules?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I just kind of randomly get action.
It's a blessing to me. Oh no, town.
All right, let's find out what it is. The show starts right now.
Second Date Updated. We got an email from one of our listeners who says he's been living his life by a dating philosophy that's been circulating on the internet now for about two decades.
Over decades.
It's called the Tow of Steve. That is Tao of Steve. And I've not heard anything about this, but according to him, it involves three basic rules that men must live by.
Okay, Number one be desireless.
Number two nobody wants you.
Yeah, I'm good at that one.
I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out.
Number two is be excellent and number three be gone. And if you can live by all three of those rules as a man, you will become irresistible to any woman on earth, even married women.
Brooks, So look out. Maybe get your ear plugs ready before we talk to him.
I love those gone boys.
Yeah, we're gonna learn more in a second. First, let's say hello to Bobby, who needs our spiritual guidance today.
Bobby, welcome to the show.
Hey guys, how you doing.
I wanted you to be Steve, the originator of all of this, but barely you're Bobby. That works too.
Oh it can't be everything. I guess all the time. I'm doing my best here, I'm doing my best.
It isn't calling our show breaking rules one in three already of your exec Yeah.
You guys are on to me. But it's a deasperate situation.
I need you.
That's rule number four. Be desperate. Jeffer just didn't get it.
Yeah, so tell us who's this woman and that's making you go against everything you believe in. Her name is Tory.
She's super hot and she's super nice and we just had an amazing date and like, I don't know, Normally a woman would respond to all these philosophical things I've done, but it's completely backfiring on me now, I.
Know, because if you're excited about someone and it's like the first time you've ever felt this way, like lean into it, like life's too short to be desireless. Yeah, you could tell sometimes if someone's like purposely waiting till.
You ry to do it, Like, yeah, next thing you know, you end up on this show and you hit your rock bottom. So wow, Bobby, tell us how did you get to this point? Like, tell us about your date with toy?
How did you know her? Is it an online thing or no?
No, I met her at a bar. I just kind of bumped into her, and it had to be desireful in the beginning, and then you be desire less. Okay, that's how it works.
Okay, it makes sense.
I'm in the phase between desireless and the excellent and we're waiting outside the restaurant because it's like a popular.
Place, you know.
Okay, So I had my opportunity to be excellent just come upon me.
It was awesome.
What are you excellent at?
Friend?
Oh?
I'm excited. What this opportunity was?
What happened?
So this foreign family I'm not sure where they were from. I didn't speak whatever language they like. Vaguely, I can tell they're looking for a specific museum, like a really famous read.
Okay, so they're like tourists in the area and they need some help.
Yeah, exactly, Okay, they weren't understanding my directions, so I was just like with my fingers. I was like, I will walk you there, you know, like little like walking man finger Yeah.
Most people would pull out Google Translate on their phone and pull it up on their phone on Google Maps.
Yeah, but okay, yeah.
But Google Maps is an excellent I want.
To be You're gonna leave your date standing in front of the restaurant while you walk this family. Absolutely not.
I took her with me. So now you're demonstrating that you're a guy who's willing to help strangers. You know your way around the neighborhood generally a lot of excellent quality.
You know what a museum is, yes, you know exactly.
So did you go straight to the bedroom from the museum? Did you have to do more?
Well, you know, if you have the chance to be excellent twice, let's do it twice. And luckily for your boy here he was excellent. Twice in one night.
Whoa at the museum?
So many directions back to the restaurant.
Wow, what'd you do the second time?
So second time we're having dinner. Dinner is like pretty much finishing up and you could just tell like someone dined and dashed, someone hadn't paid their bill. Woh yeah, Like the waiters were all huddling together and stuff, and like it's an expensive bill.
It was a big deal. Yeah.
I took care of the bill and I tipped the waiter, just kind of nonchalant.
Like, oh wow, super nice, bro.
I thought you were going to go to hear them and tackle the dining dasher, but you just took care of it.
I mean, I think tackling the dining dasher is cool, but it's even cooler to be nonchalante.
How do you be nonchalant after just going over and paying someone else's bill? Like, what do you say to Tory when you come back to the table.
Well, the thing is you say nothing, and you wait for her to question you what was that?
And then you reveal, wow, did she fall into that? Ploy?
She was like what was that? I was like, I just took care of it. A little shoulder shrug, No, biggie.
No, while you're checking your bake, stage me to make sure it doesn't bounce.
These things, these are investments. Okay, you are investing though, because you know she's gonna think about little things.
I mean, honestly, it's a gentleman thing to do.
We're all impressed. Did it work on Tory?
If you had asked me in the moment, I was like, couldn't be better. I walked her home, we hugged, I gave her a peck on the cheek, said we'd talk, dude. And it turns out she goned me.
Oh no, yeah, the gonner got gone.
You never hit me up.
How long did you wait before you contacted her after the date?
Well, I mean, like according to the pools I live by, and trying to be gone. So I was trying to be gone for a while.
Yeah, that's your answer right there.
Yeah. Do you think she thought she got ghosts me?
Yeah?
You don't hear from someone after a first date, you're not, yea.
So maybe your rules are playing against you if you're sticking to them.
Yeah, But like after like four or five days, I just couldn't take it anymore and I just started texting her and I was absolutely desireful, not excellent, and I was pregnant.
Man, she broke you. I feel you, Steve, would be so disappointed in your behavior.
When I tell myself I'm gonna eat healthy and then what do you know, a whole box of oreos ends up in my mouth.
You know, and now you're reaching out to us, which I think breaks your first rule of like be desireless, because now you're asking a radio show to show how much you want to hang out.
Yeah, I mean all the rules are out of the window at this point. I want to so bad.
Oh, we're throwing every rule that we know out the window when we come back and call Tory for you and try to get her to agree to abide by the towe of Bobby and give you one more chance with your second date update right after this hold on second date update. You know you're in a good place when you find yourself abandoning your entire belief system to score a date with a woman. I've abandoned my belief six times since I got to work today.
Oh, and it feels great.
I don't know we can call a dating strategy your belief system that he's a little dramatic.
Well, that's what Bobby says. He told us he used to live by a dating philosophy called the Tow of Steve, which, if you didn't hear, it's basically three rules about demonstrating your value while also not coming across as desperate.
Or two available.
Okay, so he's stuck to those very strictly until he met Tory Yeah, and said, screw it, Tory is way too hot.
I need to know why she's not calling me back right now.
I mean, he lasted four days until he started incessantly texting her exactly with no response.
Now, Bobby, I'm assuming you don't want us to tell Tory about your mantra and the rules that you follow, unless how you already told her, did you?
No? No, no, I didn't tell her my philosophy.
Don't tell her. That's part of it. You don't say it.
But also, do you assume most singles out there try to do the same general thing, play hard to get, not be too available. It's pretty be excellent.
Yeah yeah, yeah, but like this is my secret, sauce. Tell the secret, sauce.
I think it's admirable that as a plan, because mine is just drink a lot and hope for the best.
So, Bobby, you earn a better spot than a lot of people.
And we've all seen you after you drink a lot. It's not.
What she's a crier to.
Yeah, well that's exactly right. Let's call Tory. We'll see what she has to say why she's not calling you back.
Hopefully she picks up, and I'm dialing your number right now here we go pick up for us. Hello, Hey, we're looking to speak with toy.
I can I ask you's calling?
Yes, you can. We're a radio show. We're called Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Hey, Tori al shows here.
I'm sorry, what's going on?
We're doing a segment on our show called the Second Date Update where we're trying to help out one of our listeners get in touch with you after you already went on one day with him.
Is just like some internet thing or no, no.
It's much more disgraceful. It's a radio thing.
Yeah, but it's also a podcast.
Focus on the radio part.
That's the cool bit of this, because we're just trying to get some answers for Bobby about why you're not hanging out again or even talking to him at all.
I mean it was a.
Date, okay, I mean you could see it's probably pretty obvious that it's driving him nuts, not knowing why you're not calling, because.
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of just felt like I was on a date with someone who was giving attention to everyone and everything else except me.
Why do you say that?
Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were waiting and he offered to show some people that were lost the way to the museum.
But that's nice.
Yeah, but I was starving and we lost our reservation so we had to wait another thirty minutes.
Because you were gone.
I could see that happening. Actually, I'm sorry, not if she's in heels, like it's not comfortable to walk.
Okay, So you don't value helping people.
You value material.
Things, like don't come at her like that.
Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought processes.
I mean, that was just one part of the date. Like even when we were inside, he would compliment the wait staff. But how dare he never once complimented me?
Interesting, Oh that's important, like the focus of the whole night, or told the white staff to compliment you for going to do it.
Directly looks so beautiful? Could you also relay that to her?
Yeah, we didn't compliment you, because I mean he gushed about you to us, about and lovely and nice you were. He never said anything like that to you.
No. I mean even when I was in the middle of a story. I was telling him about my vacation to Europe, and he got up in the middle of it and went picked up a nap and somebody else dropped at another table.
He's almost like his gonna sound funny, He's almost like two nice.
No, guys, you think she cares about things that she does, Like guys think girls are impressed by those things, not just listening to them.
Yeah, and like even at the end he held the door up and for someone else and then went out behind them, not holding the door for.
Me and didn't hold What the heck do you think here's the thing?
Obviously he's a kind person. Do you think that he was just nervous and maybe that's why those things didn't happen for.
You and seem nervous And he was super nice, polite, talkative with everyone else.
Okay, okay, but a lot of times guys don't want to like seem too desperate in front of a girl and won't say the thing that they're feeling because it don't make them seem you know.
Beta, which which is a thing.
It's a complex that guys have and.
That's why they slam doors in their face.
Is But maybe he was just in his own head too much, and we should probably ask him about it, because Bobby is waiting on the other line wanting to compliment you profusely.
I'm sorry, what, Yeah, he's been listening to this call, Bobby.
You there a coming a little smooth, Bobby, anything you want to say to her story?
You didn't like all those excellent things I did set you up there?
I mean, what was the point of me being there if you weren't going to give any attention or participate in the date at all.
I mean, you didn't really give me a lot of attention after the date, you know, I gave you a lot of texts and calls and stuff.
Why would I do that, give attention to someone who clearly didn't have the time of day for me.
No, that's that's really that's for you.
That's not it.
Okay, So basically.
Bobby, wait, wait, hold on, are you sure you want to do this.
Yeah, it's just like apologize and compliment her.
Yeah, but like you guys want me to lie there, I don't want to lie there. I gotta be honest.
We say, compliment her, that's a lot, go for it, then all right, clear your chests.
Man, then go for it.
Bobby, what do you have to tell me? But can you hurry up? I got things to do?
Okay, okay, So, like I live by these these philosophical rules, all of which you don't really need to know about. But basically, like I was, I was trying to demonstrate value and be excellent for you to other people. You know, maybe it came off as like I didn't care about you, but I was like trying to do these things to show you what I am capable of, like my potential and stuff.
I can pick up a napkin so fast, yes.
Yeah, exactly, I can pick up a napkin so fast.
Yeah.
Right now, I don't even know what you're talking about right now, Like all you have to do is ask me questions and listen and compliment.
That is a lot to ask for.
That is the thing is complimenting kind of goes against the philosophy that he believes in so.
Well, that would be part of being excellent.
No, i'd be breaking desireless.
But yeah, but you do that.
He said after the first eight. See, this is the whole thing with rules, Like they get so complicated. Why don't you just be a normal human and have a good conversation.
Yeah, let's get rid of laws too, Jeff, that doesn't no structure.
I think I know what she's taught talking about. I think she just doesn't like people who do good things.
Here's a question, Tory. If he would have done those things for the other people and also listened and complimented you and asked you questions, how would you have felt.
I mean, it would have been better. But I'm not sure why he needed to focus on everything else except our date.
But I can't do all those things. I was already tired doing the other stuff.
It's a lot, man.
So it's one or the other for you.
You're either fully thinking, strategizing, or you're doing nothing.
He's not a multitasker.
Yeah, Like, I'm sorry for being excellent.
That's not the apology that she was stepped in before that.
But the one thing that he is focused on right now, Tory, his only focus is getting another date with you. That is why he reached out to a radio show to get a hold of you and arrange a second meet up. And we would pay for if you're willing to give him a second chance.
I think I'm good. I don't want to be with someone who just likes to grand stand.
But remember, Bobby's not good, He's excellent, so you could level up.
I mean now, he knows right like now, the expectations of what you're looking for out there, like you might as well give him a chance to make that happen, don't you think.
Yeah, I'm listening out. Look you're hot, and I'll pick up your napkin and like you want me to ask you questions? What are you doing next Friday? Let's get dinner.
That was actually the smoothest thing he's ever done.
Yeah, Tory, what do you think I'm gonna pass?
We did our best, honestly, he just he came on way too strong at the end and act just like a simp.
Oh, Bobby, you're back to square one, dude.
These rules just like don't work for some people, Like I'm desireless. Doesn't work.
I'm desireful.
It doesn't work.
I'm excellent.
Them too excellent. I'm gone, I'm too gone.
Welcome to dating women, buddy, It's going to be a long road.
Nobody said too excellent but.
Yourself, Jeffrey in the morning. You know, after thousands of second date calls, I'm starting to notice a trend.
Sometimes men don't listen very good.
Wait are you just now hearing that?
Yeah, I'm thousands.
I don't know if anybody saw this, But even when guys get her like beating over the head with good information, sometimes it just doesn't register for guys.
We're also sometimes information doesn't register.
Like it's hard to sometimes change right? What this guy?
Sorry?
What were you saying?
This guy was so like stuck on his plan that when it was the problem, he couldn't like he could ship pivot.
What is Brooks saying?
I don't know.
Next time you get angry at a man for not listening, maybe earn your attention to God for making us that way.
It's icy, it's it's God's fun.
Thanks a lot. God put us in a bad spot over here, but we can put you into a good spot in your dating life. If you want some help with that, at least we'll try email the show, we'll call that person who's not calling you back, and two out of.
The four of us will actually hear what you said.
Yeah, maybe on a good day.
I'm just happy to be here.
Go check out all of our second Day podcast wherever you get yours at Brook and
Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning