Second Date Update: Appetizer Energy, Entrée Problems

All right, it's your Second Date Update podcast with Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning, the home of the Second Date, and today we have a listener who thought he had the world's most perfect date. You really did tell? He got a one word text? What a half an hour after the date? Was quick after him?

Yeah?

Pretty quick? I mean, And that's the question. What is your go to rejection text? You know?

Yeah?

One word?

Yeah, I just send a vomit emoji. Oh wow, wow, that's Is that too harsh? I'm out a dating game for a minute.

You have to ask is that a bad say?

What do you make me sick?

I'll see you tomorrow.

How do you end a conversation with somebody?

Oh?

I mean I talk too much. It's definitely not one word. It's like a paragraph and like emally sorry, but like we's going out his friends. But I really enjoyed it, and you're so nice. I wish the best, you know, I don't want to read. Yeah exactly? All right, leave it in the comments what yours is? And sit back and enjoy the second date today?

Yeah, Second Date Update. You ever have a date with someone where you plan to do one thing together, but then the date night gets closer, and suddenly you decide, eh, you know what, forget dinner, let's do paintball instead. You get a little closer, and plans change again, and then your plans change another time. Oh I keep changing. Some people could see that and think, oh, this person is spontaneous and creative.

Or just indecisive.

Others might see it as chaotic and indecisive. Today, our listener, James isn't sure where he falls because he says his plans kept changing, So didn't go out on two dates, didn't go out on one? He calls it one date and a half.

Oh, that's interesting.

Let's learn about it. James, welcome to the show.

Hey, thank you guys so much.

You get it. There's a couple indecisive people, including myself on this show. So don't understand you.

Yeah, are you indecisive?

You keep changing plans?

Or does this the world keep changing your plans? No?

I mean you know life is life, and you know life and.

Put that on a bumper. Yeah yeah, okay, but life was coming at you and you had to switch things up right.

Yeah?

I mean because after our first date, man, she texts me and says she had a great time. You want to do it again?

Right? Wait, who is she? We don't know who she is?

Okay, her name is Lisa and absolutely gorgeous. She could be Zoli's on, Donna's older sister.

Whoa, yeah, wow, I don't know who that is. But the name is the blue girl from Avatar.

Yeah. You can't really see what she looks like in that anything like that.

Then, I mean, she's not smurf feed, but she's beautiful.

Okay, that's awesome, that's exciting. Where did you meet her? Did you say, I'm sorry.

But we met on a dating app?

Okay?

And so yeah, we have the same interest and stuff like that. I have, like my own company, I have to travel a lot, and I know with her with her job, she has to travel.

So okay, that's always nice to find somebody who understands that.

Yeah, you're both business right right.

But I mean, like for three weeks, you know, we were just can we meet here? And she's like, oh no, my schedule. I got to go out of town. Okay, all right, first week out of town. Then the following week I had to go out of town. So one day I said, well, hey, well what about here, let's meet at this place. She said, well, you know, my girls were going to.

Brunch a day.

I said, well, hey, after your brunch, let's just hang out and just have some drinks or something.

More drinks, because brunch doesn't come without drinks.

The fact that anybody could walk away from a brunch is that's just impressive in itself, right right.

And I mean if we didn't go there, I mean, if it was a nice little place that was next door, that we could have had our privacy.

Okay, well that's nice too, because like you're trying to accommodate her busy schedule. Yeah, I'm sure she appreciated that.

Okay, so how did she was on to that idea?

Well, see, that's what I'm gonna say. Man. Her response was like, never mind.

I like what wait?

And this is after you'd already gone on one good.

Date, right, we did on one to date. I was trying to get a half date by going like after brunch. But again, I know, three weeks had passed. I know, things happen and you get back into your routine. So I'm like, yo, at least let me see you or something. You know, let's let's just drive by each other and wave by.

But I'm like what happened that is weird?

Or maybe she does know like me and my friends get drinks, I don't want to meet up with you.

Yeah, planning stuff back to back can feel so overwhelmed.

Yeah, totally.

Did she plan anything else with you after that?

She said never mind? And I mean even she could have said, well, could we meet before the brunch so early?

I let's get a grid pair.

Yea.

So before we keep going, let's just rewind back for a second here, James, can we know a little bit about date number one?

That's a good point, Like where did you guys go?

What was so great about it? Just give us a few details so that we know what it was like.

So we went to this Italian restaurant, real nice during happy hour and had a great time salad, you know, pops, and we're trying to watch those carbs and stuff, but.

Salad, great time.

Yeah, as much as much dressing as you.

Want, exactly exactly.

I never understand why people who were worried about carbs go to an Italian restaurant. That is, that's all right? I mean, how was the conversation, the connection between you two?

Yeah, I mean it was good. We had great conversation. We found out we liked certain things, you know, our spirit animal. I don't want to go into too much detail, but okay, hey, I forgot to say, and she we did have a kiss.

You did?

Okay?

There was a kid's right, you know, at the end of the day, nothing to elaborate, but just nice kids like cool. And then I get this text. She enjoyed it, she had a great time, and she said, let's do this again.

So there was like no doubt in your mind that this was going somewhere exactly.

I think, like the scheduling thing, I understood, but I don't. I don't understand, like why this was like never.

Mind, And so there hasn't been there's never been a second meet up that's materialized out of all this.

Correct.

I would like for it, but nah.

Why'd we say there was one and a half then there was only one?

I guess the brunch it didn't happen.

Yeah, it didn't.

Well, it did happen with her and her girlfriends. He just wasn't there.

That doesn't count for you in the guy's world. That counts desperate man.

Well that's where we're at.

Le four days last week they all said no.

But in my mind we were parties. So James, we're going to reach out to Lisa for you. We'll see if she picks up, and then we'll try and get you your second date update right after this. Hold on, I think second date update if you're just joining us for the second date update, our listener, James has spent the last three weeks arranging and rearranging plans, desperately trying to meet up with a woman named Lisa, who he already went out with once and Brooks yawning about.

The three cap that coffee.

First date it was it was yes, according to.

Her out on that stop, nobody would have known.

I'm just looking around the room now sixteen other people just yawned into I'm just saying, according to James and to Lisa because she responded afterwards that it was great. They had a good kiss, a top notch Caesar salad, everything you could ever want in a romantic first meet up. And now, after all that effort, the last thing that Lisa texted him was never mind. It's one of the top three worst things a woman can send to a guy.

All right, it sounds great.

Oh yeah, I feel like I only say never mind when.

I'm mad, that's the thing.

Yeah, it feels like a mad response for sure. Did have a period at the end of never mind.

It's like end of conversation? Was it never mine?

All right?

Well, now I don't even know if she'll pick up. But seriously, let's see if she answers. I'm gonna dial her number right now. Hopefully we can get some answers out of her. But here we go. Hello, Hey, is this Lisa. Yeah, we're We're a radio show called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Good morning, Hi, Why are you calling me?

Yeah, we're doing this segment it's called second Date Update, where we try to help out listeners who've gone out with somebody and they're having trouble arranging that second meetup. We try and help facilitate it or figure out if there's a reason why the other person doesn't want to see them again. Yeah, and you can't say never mind participation?

Okay, And you're calling me why.

Cause a little while ago, almost a month ago, you went out with one of our listeners named it long ago, he said, three weeks ago with a guy named James.

Yeah, I'm not in contact with him.

Yeahs that we got that vibe. It sounds like it things shifted though. Did it shift for you because at first he thought you were liking him.

Yeah, I guess.

I mean the thing that's confusing to him is that after that first date he said to you, guys even texted each other about having a great time, and you said you really wanted to meet up again?

Or were you just pulling like a Lexus Wood and just trying to be nice?

Yeah?

You know.

I mean honestly, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.

But that was then Okay, so something is what happened?

Well, Okay, so I texted him and I did tell him that I had a wonderful time and we were trying to meet up to see each other.

Okay, And so at that point you're excited about him, right.

Yeah, I mean absolutely. But it went from let me buy you dinner, and then it went to let's get drinks, then let me buy you drinks after brunch with my friends. And I'm the type of woman where if a guy says he wants to buy me dinner, then I'm going to hold him to that. And you know, however, with James, our potential meetups became progressively worse.

So you you felt like as the conversation went on, he was willing to put less effort into meeting up with you.

Listen, when a man says that he wants to buy you dinner, and then I expect him to buy me dinner and not say, okay, let me buy your dinner and dinner. Next thing is like, okay, you know what, you know what, let me get you drinks, you know what, you know what, Let's just meet up after you hang out with your friends and we'll just spend a little ten minutes.

Okay, So it didn't make you feel special, But did you have time to get dinner? I thought you didn't have time.

Well, there were times that I didn't have time, and there were times where he didn't have time. But you make time, Okay, plan it out and you make time. It's just not a drive by. Oh let me just see you real quick and keep going like I don't even know you like that.

It's weird because like I think he took it as he was putting an extra effort to try to make it. You.

Yeah, like shift around you, and I know that. You know, making time is very important. He's made time to be on the phone with you right now listening on the other line waiting to talk to you.

Talk about effort.

You didn't tell me that he was going to be in a phone, Yeah, we did. Just now.

I think this is a misunderstanding, honestly, James, talk to her.

Well, yeah, I mean, Lisa, I'm not treating you as a drive by. I was trying to make time so I can at least see you and so we can have conversation. But that was the whole purpose of doing it, so you can get to know me.

James. You text me, let me buy you dinner, and having drinks after being with my girls is not buy any dinner.

Well, I didn't realize I had to be a bread basket in order to hang out with you.

Oh, I don't even know what that means either.

I don't mean if you go to a dinner, they usually give you bread before you have your dinner.

To her, and I don't know that that's exactly what she's saying there.

No, that's exactly what she's saying. Because if I'm giving an effort to meet you, and you said you want to get dinner with it. There's two people at the same time, you know.

God, way you suggest dinner after the brunch, you could have said, we went, you can go to dinner after brunch bunch.

I can't eat that much.

I mean I get hurt, Like, not directly after, but later on that same day. Clearly I had time to go on a brunch.

Then maybe later on that evening I would.

Have had time for dinner.

But you didn't think about that, I said it.

Maybe no neither neither did you think about that? And I didn't know you love language with food like that? How about that I didn't know you loved this time and consideration then either?

Yeah, I think I think honestly, everybody needs to just relax just a little bit because this just sounds like a big communication misunderstanding. We're forgetting that they had a great first date. They both admitted it. That's true that the conversation was great and the chemistry was on and the only problem that has come up is communicating how and when to meet up the second time.

So James, I mean that would be like, do you not want to meet her for dinner?

Like, isn't dinner at this point I read to just send a door dash and she can have a full course meal.

I think she just wants the energy, not someone to pay for her dinner. She just wants the thoughtfulness, is what it sounds like.

Exactly, Lisa, this was thoughtful. When we first talked to James, he described you as Zoe Saldana's younger, hotter sister.

No, I actually said the older.

Well I'm trying to protect you here, James, so maybe he just go with what I said.

He called me the older, but she's not that.

How did the cup up in backfire?

Yeah? I mean, how about this? How about this? Think of this, Lisa. He went out of his way to get a radio station to call you because he wanted to see you that much. That is effort.

It sounds like he had you called me to embarrass me. No, it doesn't sound he was trying to flatter me.

No, it's the opposite. He wants to go out and actually spend time at a dinner with you, a dinner that we would pay for if you'll agree to meet up with him again. Well that was at the start. I don't know about ye. Delete the last three weeks from your mind and just remember after that first date, how good you felt about each other?

Yeah, I don't know now because I feel like he's gonna he might stand me up.

What why would he stand you?

Was create? Okay, no, no, no, no, no, she's creating stuff now. Now she's gone from a happy hour to a hostile hour, which is gonna probably lead to a hot dinner.

Okay, yeah, okay, So wait, does that mean that you're not interested in a date?

He said, no, yeah, I'm not interested in going on with that went back.

Okay, okay, and that's okay. The feeling is mutual.

Wow, okay, well that's what doesn't work out.

They've shifted those shift Yeah.

And Jesus words, life is life, life, life, And right now, am I right? James? The thrill is gone. But the second dates or second dating they really are, sure Jeffrey in the morning, you know, by the end of that call, I don't know if there was anything that we could have said to save that situation. Yeah, they kind of took over.

Yeah. I think dating is hard for both of them right now, and they just took it out on each other, like I just say thing about you know what I mean, Like it's just like, ah, I hate it all. They're both too busy to sleep deprived. Maybe it's like.

I want more than thirty minutes, want dinner. I just want to see you right. But on a positive note, James did give us three of our top quotes for the entire year. Happy Hour turned into Hostile Hour. Life keeps on life in movie and you want a bread basket with that wine that I don't think I I kind of work shopped.

It, James.

I changed it a little bit.

I mean I actually basket with that. I always want a bread basket. So my response is always.

Going to be yes. The whole thing was promises made, promises not kept.

Yes.

Goodness is we don't make any promises. When you go listen to us on podcasts at Brook and Jeffrey just life is life and all it. Yeah, that's how we do. Go check it out online wherever you get your podcasts at

Brook and Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning,