Awkward Tuesday: Never Hire Friends

Hey, welcome to your brand new Second Date podcast. Thanks for being here. And yesterday, I love when people dive into our comment section and tell us how they feel about the episode. Yeah, yesterday's hit a lot of strings. Yeah is that the right word for the right analogy?

Strings?

We'll never correct with sayings here anyways to make a burrow.

All right, So, okay, if you didn't hear yesterday's episode, go back and listen to it. There's a lot of anger at the end. It was a big miscommunication over who gave this woman flowers, and it turned out it was the gym worker.

Yeah, who lied and assumed. Yeah, we had mixed reviews. One person said, I work at a gym, and I understand that you are categorized. Is just a gym employee. Someone else said I was hoping for a fifty Shades kind of story.

Someone with a rich guy.

Yeah, yeah, tum into my helicopter.

We need more men like Mitchell, brave, creatageous, and ready to chase a woman down in a parking lot. True love is one parking lot surprise away then, which someone replied and said, helll Brave, he lies to hung up on her on the show.

He had to catfish. Nobody wants a guy.

Like this.

Chase a girl down in a parking.

Lot that, hopefully in the daylight, makes it better. Yeah, don't grab her from behind, figuratively grab her heart.

Yes, anyways, I love reading those though.

Thanks guys.

Hopefully we'll get some more comments about how you feel about today's Awkward Tuesday, because it's brand new and it starts right now.

Having a best friend is a real blessing. Oh yeah, to have someone who would do anything for you. They lend you money, they'll let you crash on their couch. Yeah, if not free, a really small sum. They'll be brutally honest about how that outfit you're wearing really looks on you.

Yeah.

Someone needs to be yeah.

Right, because they've got your back. And that's why our listener thought she was doing the right thing when she lied to her boss and to her entire company to help her best friend get hired.

Ah.

Well, now in retrospect, it may have been the worst decision that she has ever made. You're gonna understand why she had no choice but to reach out to us in your brand new awkward Tuesday phone call.

Next, it's awkward, It's Tuesday. It's awkward Tuesday phone call.

There's a lot of sayings that warn people about how you shouldn't date people that you work with. Office romances never end well, sayings that Brooke has completely ignored over the years, which is why all of our promo guys at our radio station never seemed to last.

Girls they should be available as well. I don't know, I'm getting I really don't think it's that big of a deal.

We could tell.

I mean, they do, as long as it's not like a weird boss like situation.

Yeah, I am curious. Are there any warnings about don't hire your friends to work with you at your company?

Oh yeah, friends in business don't mix. That is literally the same.

Well, somebody didn't know about that, saying Brooke, because one of our listeners, Kristen, emailed saying she got one of her friends hired at her work. Now she has to make an awkward Tuesday phone call about it. That's actually where I do the line.

I don't do friends and business stuff, but it ruins friendships every time.

That's right. So, Kristen, welcome to the show.

Hey, thanks for having me. Oh goodness.

So wait, you're the one that got your friend the job.

Yeah, tell us the story.

So I have actually been at the same company for seven years, and I mean it's the longest job I've ever had. Things are going really well, but I love it.

Yeah, you can keep a job.

That long, right, Yeah, I'm doing something, right, I think.

Yeah.

But then out of nowhere, I had an assistant quit and she was great, very solid, independable. It was just like a life choice change. Nothing. Oh, no su for dramatic or anything.

The thought of one of.

My assistants quit.

I mean, if I hooked up with them first, then that's a thing, but just putting out of the blue.

No, It's one thing to get a friend a job for like somebody else in the company, a different department. Are you saying you got your friend an assistant job and you're the boss.

Oh?

Yes, this happens. And I'm like out to happy hour with my.

Best friend Matt, and I tell him.

About it and like gets so enthusiastic, freaks out, and he's like, oh my god, you have to pick me. I would be a great assistant.

No, No, that would be a terrible assistant because you're best friends. Yeah, I mean, honestly, like, he may be a great assistant to anyone else.

Yeah, but he just thinks, like.

Oh my god, we'll be hanging.

Out all day.

It would be great.

Yeah, yeah, I I wish you guys were at the happy hour that day. That would have helped my brain a little bit. Oh no, that's okay. I was thinking the same thing, like I don't know.

About this, yeah, hesitation before you went through with it.

But what happened totally totally, And so he's like really pleading for me to give him a chance, so against my better judgment and that little voice in my head that apparently is all of you, but you weren't there. I did. I hired him.

What's happened since you hired him?

Well, the most important thing was that when I hired him, it was under one stipulation, and it was that no one at the company could know that we were.

Friends, because that would look bad, right, Yeah.

And like I don't need anyone to know that. I don't need to bring my personal life in. But we put time to like not know each other. And the plan was that he could work there with me for a few months just as a way to get his foot in the door, and then he could apply to another position. Within a company and that would be good for him and then good for me and just like in the in between.

So there was an end date too.

Yeah, yeah, we could have a few fun months. But that was three years ago and he's sell my assistance.

How's the friendship?

I bet it's great. Yo, it is horrible.

Oh no, who hates two more?

I mean it's not that we hate each other, it's just like he's taken advantage of the situation. That's the problem. Like he's gotten to the pattern of skipping meetings or taking long lunches, or forgetting to do like little task like not huge things that would get fired, but just like little things here and there. And it's just it's not great. And I have been hinting at him for months to move on. I send him emails for applications

Well, he's not getting reprimanded for anything. It sounds like a sweet job. He's taking a long lunch what he.

Wants to like, Yeah, I mean at this point, you said, like you're completely frustrated, like you've totally had it with your friend.

I mean, yeah, it's striving crazy. I can't work with him anymore, and I just I.

Guess I'm the point where I need help delivering the message, like very.

Loud, very clear, it's time for you to move on without her inner friendship because I do love him and he still is my best friend, but with also not being his boss anymore.

Okay, so you're going to talk to him as his best friend, not as his boss.

I think so. I think that's the idea because I don't want to fire him. I guess that would be the boss conversation would be that.

Would he care if he got fired?

Like?

Does he?

I hope so?

In unemployment if you get fired?

Okay, so now, but you're right, I mean, still, that's all of his benefits.

I'm sure he loves like collecting this paycheck of this nice, cushy job that he has and not having to work very much for all that money. But how do you politely deliver that message? That's on us? And I'm afraid of what Brooke is going to say.

I'm a little more direct than you are, That's what I'm.

Saying, and I like that. I don't know if there's away for Brooks to kindly tell a man you're not good enough right now.

Be direct without being mean. And she's obviously been hinting for a long time, and the hinting isn't working. Like it's better for him, it's better for her, it's better for everybody.

I cannot wait to see what that advice looks like.

Coming from your brook Oh my god, I am dying to hear what we have to say to help you politely tell your friend slash assistant that he needs to move on from his job.

I'm a guess looking forward to it too. I just want to.

When we come back, give your advice and let you make your awkward Tuesday phone call coming up right after this.

It's awkward, it's sad. It's awkward Tuesday phone call.

I may not know much about my coworkers, but I know this. Nothing makes Brooks smile like the idea of a woman shaming her male counterpart telling him he's not doing good enough and he to get his act together. What did I do wrong there?

I do not shame mail counterparts. They just shame you. Yes, And I also spend over a decade with you telling you how great you are.

Not to my face, I've never heard that.

You are such a pain.

In my butt.

And that's exactly what made one of our listeners email us for help. Our listener, Kristen secretly got her friend Matt hired to be her new assistant. Of course, they didn't tell anyone at the company they knew each other because I was just supposed to be a way to get his foot in the door and then he could climb the company ladder. But three years later, Matt is still her assistant and seems to be taking advantage of their friendship because he's skipping meetings, missing tasks that he's

I don't think they say that that's the email problem.

I'm sure I don't really know.

That's how the bosses emailed.

Jeff so Brook, here's your moment. Tell Kristen how you would lay the hammer down on your mail count.

I don't think you have to lay the hammer down like this is your best friend, Like a best friend is so important and that's what you want to keep at the end of this. So here, here's what you do. You say to him, Matt, you deserve more money. Everybody wants more money. And I'm sure Matt wants more money.

Am I right?

I would assume so everybody does.

Yeah, And you're like, listen, I'm going to help you get more money. We are going to find you a better job in this company, and we are going to get you paid. We're going to get you what you deserve. Because then you're hyping him up and helping them move on.

Yeah, I guess just making money the focus of it. Maybe we'll help his ears perk up a bit.

Yeah, I actually like you. You're looking out for his financial interest to distract from your trying to get rid of him. So, Jose, what's your advice.

Well, there's a famous line that says absence makes the heart grow fonder. So right now, you guys are just too close. Tell him you miss missing him? Huh right, you miss those times where you went wes without seeing him, Right.

Now, that's gonna make someone feel good.

You just don't appreciate him because he's there every day.

Help him get a new job, and then you guys, can rekindle your best friendship.

Christen, what do you think?

Yeah, we are around each other a lot, so let's maybe that us.

And a little laughter, little humor could help lighten the message of what we're really trying to say beneath the surface here, which is get the f out. So I feel like that was actually some pretty good advice we gave you. You can do that you want with it. But I'm gonna dial your assistant slash best friend Matt's number. Hopefully this awkward Tuesday phone call goes smooth. He's on the job right now.

Right, he's on the clock.

Yeah, here we go. Good luck. We'll jump and feel like you need some help. But I'm dialing here right now.

Hello, Hey Matt, It's Kristen.

Oh hey girl, he disappeared on me earlier.

Yeah, I just had to step out for a second.

Right, So whose one are you calling you from?

I can't tell you that right now.

I am your insistent you know, if you remember, you do have to tell me things.

Oh, yes, I remember. No, I'm just I'm dealing with I'm just dealing with something.

Do you want to spill some tea on something in the office?

No, it's not about our co workers.

It's Matt. It's actually about you and me.

What what about you and me? Wait? Are you mad? I missed the budget meeting yesterday? I told you. I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you. I was just getting a haircut.

I mean, yeah, that's a good example.

But I uh, that's well. You know, I love you as a friend first and foremost.

Right, girl, I.

Don't like the tone of your voice right now.

I just want to remind you, like, rewind three years about our whole like work arrangements when you got here, right, yeah, that.

Was like decades ago. We were literally baby, it.

Was three years ago. But look, this position was supposed to get your foot in the door, and like, how you haven't moved on?

Wait?

What are you?

What are you saying?

I'm saying you need to go out there. You need to be making more money. Okay.

I just can't hide it anymore from you, I guess because I've been feeling a little guilty myself. And I'm actually in the final interviews for the director of Business Development, and you know, I've been wanting to tell you, but I was like scared to tell you. And I'm like, does this have something to do with that, like did you find out or wait?

What what are you talking about?

Oh?

I knew they knew you were going to probably be jealous because that position makes more money than you, and I just didn't know really how to go about you know.

Wait what, Oh my.

God, that's great news. Congratulation, it's good for him.

Wait what what is going on?

Wait?

I don't let me jump in first here, Kristen, because I need to tell Matt. Hey, dude, you're on the radio right now.

Well, I'm going to confute. Am I getting a trip or something?

What's going on?

I wish you're could do those things.

You really like to read into stuff deeply, don't you, Matt. But this is just a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning, and this segment is called the Awkward Tuesday Phone.

Okay, that's awkward.

So so we could she know about my new jobs?

I don't think so, especially not the way that Kristen was reacting. Kristen, do you want to talk to him and tell him what?

Yeah? Thank you? Sorry, I'm like fuming. I don't really understand did you even apply for it?

Like?

How long have you known? I'm just very confused right now. No.

I I literally was having lunch with your boss a couple of weeks ago, and he just started asking me more about my career, and you know, the job opening, like it just kind of came up naturally, and he was insisted, So who.

Is my assistant is going to be? You're going to be my superior. That's what's happening right now.

I mean, not like directly, but I'm going to be making more money than you.

So but that's what she says you wanted for him, right, Kristen, for him to make more money.

Wait a minute, okay, yeah, hang on, wow.

Yeah, Brook, what good advice?

Well, I mean, is this a job you wanted, Kristen? Were you going after this position?

No?

I hadn't gone after because this hasn't even been listed yet. This was not public information.

Okay.

I am just like a bit confused now because I thought you knew about the job, But now it's just sounding like.

You're, I don't know, a bit jealous or something.

Oh I'm not jealous. Okay, So if you saw I knew about the job, why didn't you bring it up? Why would you keep.

That You told me not to say anything and he said specifically that it wasn't going to be posted. It was kind of like an internal thing. They were trying to make things smooth and easy. And then I kind of thought, that's what this call was about when you were calling me, like you had found out or something.

But what were you even calling for? Oh, I I.

Was gonna say. I was gonna say a lot of things. I guess I was going to say, you deserve more money.

But I sounds like exactly what you wanted for your friend is now happening for your friend in an even better way than could have ever imagined.

I mean, Kristin, and we're being completely honest here, Like I just feel like it was starting to get a bit stale, like even our relationship, our friendship dynamic, and I really just needed a place to grow, and I just feel like I wasn't really growing anymore with you as my boss.

Well that's not Apparently your hair was growing enough where you needed to get a haircut during the last meeting that you're supposed.

To be at.

But still you had already known about this promotion before that.

I mean I only missed like a handful of meetings probably in the last month, and they weren't really important, so what meeting is?

Yeah, So, I mean, Kristin, I'm taking your silence as you're totally thrilled with how this call is going and it's.

Just insane crazy, and I think I'm just gonna have to take the day. I love you all you've been to help, but I'm I'm seeking were here.

Girl, you need to take the day. I mean we have we have drinks to get and celebrate and.

I love that, well drinks on that this time since he can afford it, and it's a.

Wonder for you.

I wouldn't even be here right now. So you helped me into this point in my life too, So I don't know why you're so pressed.

Uh huh.

All right, Well, it sounds like you're now your friendship is going to be back in a better place now that Matt's going to be moving on and up the company ladder, and Kristin, you sound totally happy with where you are, so that's awesome.

You guys are funny. You guys are really funny.

Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.

You know, Matt definitely seemed confused there, probably because he didn't get to fully understand the whole reason why Kristin was calling and needing help. In this conversation, It's probably for the best that we didn't get into the details.

Of the listeners got all the details, and he still doesn't understand.

And I'm really hoping that she's upset at her boss and not at mad like I think. Once Yeah, once she processes everything, I'm sure she'll be really happy for.

Her best friend. I mean, he was her assistant for three whole years, and it might take her another three years just to get over the sudden promotion out.

Of the blue.

But in the end, it sounds like they have a really tight bond and this will actually be a good thing for their friendship.

Yes, it'll be good for her career, but it be good for their friendship for sure.

I'll be great for Matt's.

Career based on his work habits that we heard. I don't know if he's going to be able to handle that director job.

I don't know so far. I think that's the thing about directors. Have you not noticed they don't care? Yeah, they don't go to things.

Or was she setting up pointless meeting because he was like, yeah.

And I'm over here thriving. Yeah, everybody the company loves me.

It's a power move to skip stuff.

Yeah, so just remember, if you want to get an awkward Tuesday phone call, you can always do it email in the show, and you can hear all of our awkward Tuesdays, our second dates, our phone taps, all of our show content wherever you get your podcasts, all over the world, and even in certain parts of deep space. You just I know. We're expanding layer.

That's where we are.

Find it at Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.