Awkward Tuesday: Change Him Back

Welcome to a brand new Awkward Tuesday episode. It's Brooke and Jeffrey and you have found the Second Day podcast. Today's really a lesson and the grass is not always greener my friends. You know, on the other side, she wanted something before she fully thought it out.

Yeah, and I'd be the first woman to ever change a man successfully. That's all right.

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Hey, thanks for leaving your comments and figuring them out.

Yeah, your brand new Awkward Tuesday starts right now.

One of our listeners came on the show to complain about her boy friend, saying he is super hot, super successful, and super put together. And I know what you're all thinking, but no, she's not dating me. You're all thinking. The thing is her boyfriend. It's he's kind of too perfect and she says it's all her fault because it's causing actual problems in their relationship. You're going to understand why she had no choice but to reach out and ask for help the problems. You'll hear it in your brand

It's okay or not.

It doesn't work, just I mean it wasted energy.

Well, yeah, what if I told you one of our listeners tried it and it did work immediately wrong?

Would she be on the phone with us?

Well, if it works, that's a fair question. I'm a firm believer in that women always know what's best for a guy. Oh, yes, you do, jeff Okay do all of life. And our listener Alexandra did the impossible. She changed her man and regrets it, and she's coming to us for help. Alexandra, Luckily you've come to the right place. Welcome to the show.

Thank you built them up.

He's too good.

Now he's doing too many dishes and fling too much laundry, too productive.

It's a hard life, I'm sure, but we don't know the details of your situation. Tell us what's going on with you and your guy.

So I've been dating my boyfriend for like two years now.

What's his name?

Ted?

Ted?

Ted?

Okay, And I realized six months ago he was like too comfortable in the relationship, like he wasn't working out anymore. He was dressing kind of sloppy, and I was like.

I have to do something here.

That's not You don't want a man to be comfortable.

I always like to fatten my man up a little bit because I don't want them to be hotter than me with me.

Always try to sneak some butter into my husband's meal.

Yeah all right, And I mean it's not like I'm not saying like you weren't attracted to him anymore, but it's like he was becoming a different type of boyfriend than you wanted.

Yeah, exactly.

So I told him I had a special birthday.

Plan for him, like a birthday gift, and.

I gave him a full makeover.

So, oh wow, he used to.

Cut his own hair Oh, you got it.

That's resourceful. Yeah. He took him to like a nice barber.

I got him like a real actual barber.

I got him a spaw treatment, I got him new clothes. I even got.

Him like four sessions with a personal trainer.

Oh my god.

It'd be one thing if you said, hey, honey, you gotta hit the But if you were like, here's a plethora of gifts to improve your life.

I would love that, wouldn't you feel? I mean, you would make you feel really taken care of.

I don't know, it's a little bit insulted. If I'm like, by the way I set you up with a personal trainer, you're welcome.

Have you ever watched a.

Make over show?

Nobody's insulted ever excited about him?

We should ask how did Ted take it when you were basically showing him how to be a different person.

I mean, he was fine, He's like, yeah, I'll do it. He was excited.

He did it, and it was the worst possible thing that I could have ever done.

Oh no, is he hooking up with a trainer?

Oh?

Well, he just like he looks really good. He's getting a lot of attention from a lot of people. He kind of just.

Ran with it.

So he's like buying himself more new clothes, he's working out on his own.

God what ay, I get it that was your whole goal though. He sounds like he's confident, Like isn't that the type of man you want to be with?

Yeah? I just I kind of even to like tourne it back and go back to being like sloppy, Like maybe he could just do like sloppy weekends or like I don't know, he's even dressing really nice on the weekends and going for runs at six.

Am on Saturdays.

Like we used to.

Go to the bakery and get stones and coffee and I.

Missed that and we can't do that anymore.

Oh wow, is.

He getting you up to to go on runs with him?

For you're not like a fit couple now? No?

No, God, no, absolutely not.

It takes a shower trying to get a stone.

Okay, have you talked to him about this at all to this point?

No? No, I don't even know how to tell him because it's like it's so awkward.

That I accidentally created this, Like how do I reverse what I just did?

Okay?

Wait, so that's the advice that you're looking to get from us here is how do you get him to backtrack on the progress that he's made.

Yes, and just be normal again.

It feels like it's going to backfire.

I mean if you're putting all this energy into making yourself what you think is a better person, and then your partner comes and says, eh, don't.

Like, well, maybe if to take Brooks tactic and go a little sneaky with it, put some butter into his food and not looking at cooked with large.

It's not that I don't like the new version of him. I just need him to like take his foot off the gas a little bit.

Okay. It's like it's like if you renovated the kitchen of your house and it looks great, and then your husband's like, oh, well, let's also redo the living room and let's add in a pool, and let's like the whole other second house.

He's doing all good things.

Well, I know, it's like he's taking the project too far out, like I want a pool. I mean, sure, maybe it was a bad metaphor, but he's gone farther than what she wanted.

Do we need to talk, like, are you maybe just like a little insecure at this point?

No, I just want to get my coffee and my stones on the weekend.

Okay, good, okay ask Yeah.

I understand that was like, it sounds like one of the precious moments of your guys' relationship or those like lazy Sunday.

Yeah, and they just aren't happening anymore.

And we're gonna try to bring those back for you when we give you solid advice.

Is that what we're gonna get.

Yeah, We'll figure out a way to get your boyfriend Ted to go back to his old ways.

Yeah, just a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, Yes, we made ten steps forward, we need to take two steps back when we do an awkward Tuesday phone call right after this. It's awkward.

It's Tuesday.

It's awkward Tuesday phone call. They say you can't change a man, Well they were wrong, and our listener Alexandra is living proof because after a couple of years together, she wanted to help her boyfriend Ted just lock.

It up a little bit, that's a good way to say it.

And you'll get in a better shave, take care of himself a little more. So. She set him up with a haircut, spa treat, mints, a few sessions with a personal trainer, and now she regrets it of sort of because she's happy that he's making positive changes, but her feeling is maybe he's taken this to the extreme, to the point he's jogging at six am every Saturday.

Who likes a person like that? Right?

I like running, and even I don't like that.

That's why Alexandra wants our help on how to convince her boyfriend to just balance out his new persona a little bit with the old, sloppy ones she fell in love with. So it just needs a little balance. Is it possible? We don't know, but we're going to try to give her a little bit of advice. Brooke, what do you think?

Okay, I think you need to make him a little jealous of what you're doing. What do you mean, well, I mean I think that you tell him that the guys at work have started this brunch boys club and you are finally invited. And since he's busy on a run every Saturday morning, I can't get scones with you.

You might as well join the hotties from work for their bottomless mimosas.

Then he'll want to stay home and snuggle you and get you scones again.

I was kind of sold on brunch Boys.

The group.

I don't know, but what do you think, Alexandra?

You know what, I'm desperate. I'll go with anything at this point.

I'm going to take that as a compliment for my advice.

Yeah, I love a little desperation on the show, Jose any advice for her?

Well, if you think about it, six months ago, when you asked him to change, he was open to it, and that's really rare with guys.

So that's why you just have to feel.

Positive in this conversation because you're asking him to just slightly change, you know what I mean.

Which is a way easier convo than the first one.

So you just wanted to openly ask, Yeah.

Be confident if he if he received the first one, well he'll receive this one.

Great.

Okay, maybe if you bring up the first change.

Yeah, and the first.

One came with like one hundreds of dollars worth of stuff.

So okay, do a little Yeah, So al Xandra, this advice comes with a little bit more scones, maybe, do you think, Yeah, maybe you could toss that in there. Yeah, just asking him to change, yeah, well and bringing up how how much he has changed the first time you asked? And how proud you are of him?

Did she ask him? She kind of sneakily.

I mean you forced him, but that's okay.

Yeah, I mean I can definitely bring up his change because it is dramatic, but I am proud of him. Yeah.

Tickets like an anti fitness camp, you know what I mean? Wait?

Yeah, they force you to eat cakes every Yeah, all right, that'll be our backup plan, plane.

I want to go to that camp.

Yeah, it's not for you, cake camp. Yes, it's right after the brunch boys made all right, great, we gave you all the device that we have. You can choose to use as much of it as you want or none of it. It's up to you. But I'm going to dial your boyfriend's number. Let you make your awkward call here.

Good luck, thank you?

All right, here we go?

Hellop, Hey Dan? Sorry, who's what it's me?

Hi?

Oh? Sorry? Your phone cut out? And I don't know you're not calling from your numbers.

What's going on? Oh that's weird. I don't know.

What do you do?

I am at the moment, making lunch and getting ready for my afternoon jag.

You're going for a run again, didn't you go this morning?

So I've been reading something online that says you can kind of do shorter runs more often, kind of boost your endurance. I'm experimenting with that this week.

Oh no, wow, Okay, you're really going for with this healthcare kong?

Yeah?

Yeah, I mean you get me started on something that has really a good change my life, you know the best word.

And you have worked so hard and I am so proud of you, and you were doing so good. But what if you just did like the same but like less?

What I don't get it, like.

Instead of two runs a day, maybe like two runs a week or like two runs a month, you know, stuff like that.

Maybe what's what's going on? What is this?

Like you're just always so busy with this health thing? Like do you even remember that we used to have scones? Like do you know what that tastes like?

Still?

Did you forget?

Like they were so buttery and they had like blueberries and chocolate chips and like.

They were warm and you put jam on them, Like do you know that?

Like did you do you forget?

I haven't forgotten, but I mean the way you just described that sounds awful.

At this point, the blueberries are organic, like, get over it.

Whoa, Oh, I feel like I've kind of hit a stride in this sort of new, less butter more vegetables part of my life.

You know.

They say like look good, feel good, and man, I feel real good. I mean I might getting compliments from people, you know, like even your sister said, I look really cute.

Oh wait what.

When we were at your cousins for the baby shower of and he texted me after her said it was like nice to meet me and I looked really cute.

No, she did not, she did no, she no, she did not. She never said that to anyone.

What are you talking about here? She never says anybody's attractive.

Nobody, no, nobody, Like she is up to something.

Are you serious? What's going on?

You don't know her like I know her? Okay.

In high school they called her the Medusa of men. Like you look at her once and you're done.

What is going on? What was that?

That's a sound effect that we played because you're on the radio right now, Ted, why.

Well, we're trying to save you from the Medusa of men.

Apparently, I guess that.

Wasn't the that's a real thing.

She wants you Ted?

Well, yeah, yeah, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions here, Alexandra. First, we need to tell Ted that this is a segment we do. It's called an awkward Tuesday phone call.

That doesn't matter. Okay, It matters that he's gotten too hot and he knows it and she knows it.

Okay.

Do you really think your sister's trying to steal your man?

Why would she text him and not have me on the thread and then tell him that he's cute?

Question? Why are we on the radio?

Yeah?

Do you want want me to explain to Alexandra or do you want to tell.

You can tell him it's fun.

Well, yeah, it's like a group chat.

Yeah.

So Alexandra reached out to us because, first of all, she is so proud of you on the progress that you've made in the last six months in the lifestyle changes, like obviously you're looking good and everybody's noticing. She does, though, miss a little bit of your relationship before when you used to, like she said, go get scones together, and the.

Relaxed part of your relationship is missing.

You may have over indexed just like a touch for her.

But I mean isn't it better to avoid the process cards than the all that craft?

No, but it's like everything in moderation, right, like a little bit here, a little bit there.

Yeah, So I don't know. I said, you want me to go back to the way I was.

I mean a little bit because I'm getting asked up by these people called like the brunch boys, and I don't think you want me to go out with them?

Always deduced? Are these real things?

She just wants you to hang out on a Saturday morning and be lazy with her for.

A little bit. She would you be so serious about the working out?

Apparently she also doesn't want you to text her sister now.

Yeah, I'm not trying to be like the sidon do anything over here?

Whoa drake mccaldi went too far? She can make up words and he can't.

Yeah, what the hell? Man?

Well we're on the radio, is all that? Yeah?

Have we accomplished anything here?

Like?

Where are we at?

I just want to hang out and have a scone without veggies on the side.

And without her sister present anywhere nearby.

Yes, I will come home. We will block your sister on all of the social media. We will I will eat the pastry with you and enjoy the heck out of it.

Okay, Well, we set out trying to find the healthy balance in the life that you were going to words in the life that you had, Alexandra. Do you feel like we found it?

I think we're good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You a really awesome boyfriend.

Yeah, so like a great dude.

Bro.

Oh no, Brooks trying to slide in. Hang Up, Hang Up the Men Part two, look Out Part number. Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. Can someone remind me to make my reservation for six with the brunch Boys this weekend? I would really hate to miss it.

Is it a brunch Boys club? Because it just is such a good name.

Don't Yeah? I think we need to start it if it doesn't exist.

Can I be invited to?

Absolutely? Not only the hot guys of the studio get in? Brook You gave the best advice you've given in years. I did what Yeah? The brunch Boys? Oh okay, that was amazing. It didn't help them at all, but it sounds like they didn't need it anyway. They're one of those couples that actually listens to each other. Can compromise, and plus they're getting scones together. I mean it's pretty.

Much pertinct they just called to be on the phone and brag about themselves.

He seemed Humblefolt. That was the gross thing.

Yeah, you know, although I do picture him at the bakery secretly spitting out his chocolate scone into his napkin underneath the table.

Yeah, he's not going to actually like eating it.

No he's not, oh man. But you know what actually makes every relationship better is hitting subscribe wherever you listen to this podcast.

That's how you get a perfect relationship.

Ye, happy twenty years with whoever you're dating as soon as you hit that button.