Awkward Tuesday: British Naughty Nanny

Hey, Today's Awkward Tuesday is brought to you by things you can lie and cheat about that aren't just relationships. You know, you just needed some more ideas, you know. It's work of Jeffrey and this is your second Day podcast And every Tuesday we do the Awkward Tuesday phone call. That's where if you have an awkward conversation you need to have, then you call us for help. So if you're new to it, I hope you enjoy. Yeah, and what do you see in the comments Alexis?

Yeah, Vose Casitos said, Hi, guys, I love your podcast.

Greetings from Argentina. I don't have proof, but I'm absolutely.

Sure that you are not the ones from the photo. Maybe Brooke, I don't know that.

I always think I'm like huge, They're like what, You're actually a normal looking guy.

That's all us. And I always apologize Alexis is not in that photo. It's true because we took them like when she was only with us for what two or three months, so the pictures are kind of old. They're like, hey, yeah, I was still working coffee and I had to leave early from the photo shoot to go work a coffee shift. So yeah, so try to update those. But also I like my younger self as well, so there's filters we

They say you shouldn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but sometimes it's hard not to.

Oh yeah, dude, I live for it.

For example, I remember back in twenty nineteen when Brooke flew into a rage after she overheard a sales rep describe her as quote middle class. Yes, it's a dark day in the buildings.

They don't work here anymore, so you never.

Know what someone's gonna say when they think no one else is listening. But that's what happened when one of our listeners overheard his employee say something at a bar, and because of what was said, it's turned into your new awkward Tuesday phone call.

You're gonna hear it coming up next.

It's awkward.

It's Tuesday.

It's awkward Tuesday phone call.

It happens all the time.

You think you have a solid first impression of someone, yeah, and then come to find out later that person is not what they seemed.

Oh it like a bad way. Oh, Yeah.

Like when Alexis first interviewed for the show, I one hundred percent thought she was sober that day, no idea that she was nursing a bad hangover. And when she went to the restroom halfway through, I didn't know she was pulling a truly out of her purse and shot gunning it in the stall just to power through the rest of the morning.

Did you think that was a smell of her perfume?

I thought, mango body blast.

Yeah, Wow, don't worry. Everyone else knew.

Well, now we all do know the truth about Alexis and her questionable lifestyle, and it's something we can laugh about.

Kind of one of the reasons I liked her.

Yeah, but one of our listeners doesn't think he can laugh after he discovered the truth about somebody who works for him.

Oh, and he needs our help with it. His name is Will. Will. Did you hire Alexis under false pretenses too?

I wish I had, maybe.

Oh, man, well, is this like an employee or like you hired someone to do work on your house that type of thing.

Well, it's actually a nanny that we hired in Okay, Yes, it feels a little more personal, right because she spends so much time with my kids.

Dude, we had a nanny issue early on. Really, oh my god, there was a medicine cabinet that was rated and she was never invited back again.

And that's your man's you liked.

It's wild though, because you're with them, you're right so intimately you know us.

Yeah.

Absolutely, they're basically in our house. They're seeing all of our stuff, they're spending time with our kids. Like, we wanted to be able to trust this person. And uh, we hired her about six months ago because my wife was going back to work. And this is kind of silly, but we were very excited to hire her because she was British.

So it felt like you were hiring Mary Poppins.

This is that classic iconic role.

Yeah, your children are going to grow up way smarter and more culture. You have a British maybe an accident, Yeah.

And you know she did a great job, like the kids lover, she cooks and she cleaned.

WHOA, that's crazy. Sorry, Usually nanny's won't even pick up.

Let's let's slander all nannies broke just because you had one bad experience with one who stole your pills.

A house cleaner and a nanny are usually two separate jobs, so to find someone who is also willing.

To you struck gold at this one. Yeah, so where did the problem come up?

Well, last week met the bar with some of my guy friends, just having a beer, and on the other us out of the bar, I see our nanny and she's taken down a pint with some girls that she knows, maybe her friends, I don't know. I hear her talking and she doesn't have a British accent at all.

Well that's funny because when we get drunk, we talk in British accents.

So there's a little bit of.

A flip, That's what I'm saying, Jeff. Maybe she flips it to an American accent when she's drunk.

Was it just one thing that you heard, or did you like stick around and hear her really have a full conversation.

Actually yeah, At one point I got up and out of my seat and sat on the fist behind them so she couldn't see me, but I could like listen to them for a while, and she did not have a British accent.

Wow, let's not share that part.

Dad behind her and I asked, like the biggest question, like does it matter or is it going to change anything if you find out that she's not British.

You know, at first I was like, oh, that's odd, weird, But then the more I think about it, she's lying about her accent, Like who knows what else she's lying to us about, Like maybe her entire resume is sake.

Yeah, like obviously she did it to get a job. Yes, it works. When she makes your family beef Wellington? Does it taste.

Likethentic British beef Wellington? You keep her?

So at no point during the night did you ever like go up and confront her about it.

I didn't confront her at the bar, but as I was leaving, we had to walk past her and her friend group, so I did make eye contact with her.

She saw you, okay.

I gave her a big, like exaggerated one of these like here.

Oh you you were basically like I caught you.

You know, I had a I had a couple and I was a little mad, you know.

O wow, So wait, have you talked to your wife about this?

No? I haven't even told her about this yet. I just think she would be like completely heartbroken and devastated. But you know, I just don't know what to do. Like, we're supposed to put one hundred percent trust in this woman. She's taken care of our kids, she's taking care of our house, and now the trust is broken.

Yeah, so you're somebody who really cares about their kids and their welcome.

Wow.

Don't meet a lot of dads like you.

But so, what what exactly are you looking to do with your awkward call here?

Well, obviously I think I gave her the impression that I know she's lying, so I need to I think she needs to give my wife her resignation is what she needs to do. Wow, I'm not good, Like I've never had a fire anybody before. I'm not really good at like awkward job confrontations. So I don't really know how to approach this.

It sounds like drunk you was real ready to do it. Yeah, so.

I shouldn't be making any decisions with a few pints of men.

Well, you may have come to the right place, because it sounds like Brooke has fired most of the people who've taken care of her children.

I had one bad experience when my kid was like one years old. But you enjoyed firing personally, I was actually really upset about it. Yeah, it was really tricky.

Okay, well, let's bring Brook to tears a second time by firing somebody else.

But be quiet when you cry in the background. Okay, Brook, and we're.

Gonna come back give you our advice to help you make your awkward Tuesday phone call to your fake British nanny and tell her she needs to resign.

Hey, maybe fake, We don't know for sure. For sure, could have been.

Taking an American accent.

Yes, maybe she wanted to fit in with her friend group Joe.

Okay, here, and maybe those pills in your cabinet ate themselves.

We'll give you our advice right after this. Hold on, it's awkward. It's Tuesday.

It's awkward Tuesday phone call.

How do you tell your posh British nanny that you know she isn't really posh or British in any way? You, of course, turn to us, the least posh morning show.

In all of the America.

Does Our listener Will ran into his nanny out at the bar recently and saw her talking with some of her friends, got a little closer and realized that's not a British accent.

She's using.

Yeah, she sounds fully American, And it didn't stop. It kept on going until he realized she must have been lying about it the entire time.

She's been working for his family.

Yeah, like, what else is she lying about?

If that's the case, A lot of concern.

So he hasn't told his wife about it because she'd be completely crushed. Instead, he's hoping to avoid that heartache and just call his nanny directly right now on the show and encourage her to resign.

Well maybe maybe. I mean the thing is, is I still think that there's a one percent chance that there's some sort of accent misunderstanding well excuse yeah, sure, sure. And the thing is, Jeff, you're gonna know immediately because we're gonna call for an unknown number, right, and she's either going to answer in a British Hello or an American Hello.

Okay, if it's another accent that we don't even expect coming suddenly she's German, okay, it's impressed at that point.

If she answers in a British Hello, then maybe there's a reason, right, and you just need to have an honest conversation about what you saw.

She answers in the British hello, though it does throw the whole thing off. So Broke, what's your advice.

We'll do exactly what I just said. Listen for that first hello.

Okay, Will you're able to distinguish between an American and a British Hello.

Yes, that'd be so funny.

I think I can manage.

It's gonna be a big problem with that.

But I know you were from Texas.

I knew it.

Will.

I don't think we got your nanny's name in part one? What what's her name?

Her name is Elsie?

Elsie British?

Okay, so here we go. That's our advice for you.

Will.

You can take what you want from it. But I'm gonna dial your nanny else you right now and hopefully she picks up the phone.

Let's do it right, here goes nothing. Good luck, man, We're on your side no matter what.

Hello, Elsie, it's Will Oh Hello Williams. Yeah yeah yeah. Top of the morning to you and to you as well.

My apologies, I'm I was just in the lou having a a bo.

Okay, okay, you don't. You don't have to do this anymore.

Sorry, Whatever are you talking about?

The accent? I heard you just say hello, like clear as day American accent. You can drop the British things.

Bullops, what effort do you mean?

Look, Elsie, you know I was at the bar the other night, right, Oh oh yes.

I recall we crossed pass at the pub.

Yeah, at the pub. Well, I want to talk to you. You didn't see me, and I was listening to you talk for a long time in a normal American accent with your girlfriends or whoever they were, so I know what you're doing.

Oh that that's been a trifle of a game. We were playing hook like a yank.

Okay, okay, listen, it sounded like a game inside of like normal girl time. I don't have time for this. You've obviously pulled one over on myself and my family for a half a year now, and I'm just like, I'm just shocked and I'm disappointed, and I'm trying to figure out, like why you would do this to us.

You don't understand.

I'm gonna give you one more chance. Just just tell me the truth. Otherwise I'm hanging up the phone and I'm telling my wife what's going on.

Okay, Well, I'm not really British.

I'm from Ohio, there it is there, finally the truth.

Look, I'm I'm sorry.

What, like, what the hell were you thinking?

Like?

Did you not think that I wouldn't find out, that we wouldn't find out that anybody wouldn't tick up on this at any point? You think you could just do it forever?

I don't know, thinking about it and things kind of spun out of control.

What were you slipping back into it again? What are you doing?

Well, it's just this has been you don't know this, but it's it's been really difficult for me. I mean I've been doing this for six months and it hasn't been easy. You know, every time before work I I google British slang and oh my, figure out how to make crumpets I don't even like tea, microwaving it for show and then dumping it in the sink when you leave.

Elsie what you don't even have to do? Why were you even doing any of that first place?

Actually, well, my name is Kelsey, but I thought Elsie sounded more British.

Right, Okay, this is this is worse than I thought.

Well, and if I'm being honest, I've never even seen Harry Potter. I just given the Wikipedia plot summaries.

Why why, why why would you do this?

I don't know why. Just the job market hasn't been great and I found out you get paid well as a nanny, and very well if you're a British nanny. So just kind of went with it.

Elsie. I mean, Chelsea, you mustn't have known this wasn't going to end. Well, you know, we can't continue to employ you.

No, tell the children Mary Popkin got supported. How dreadful?

God?

Who's this?

Okay, we've been listening to this phone call.

You're on a radio show called Broken Jeffrey in the Morning.

Well, who are these people?

What is this? The radio? The radio station? They're helping me out because I didn't know how to bring this up with you because the situation is so insane.

Really at least, look, I'm good with the kids in their homework. You know, I'm a good nanny. It's gonna be hard to find someone who replaced me. I'm pretty good at my job. The kids really like me.

I mean, there were no complaints about your performance, right, it was just the accent.

Yes, it's the principle of the matter that you've been lying to us and to my kids.

I think it's a matter of trust at this point, Chelsea, where you've broken this family's trust, And how are they supposed to allow their kids around you if you're never telling the truth.

Well, a really important lesson to teach children is forgiveness.

So I think that.

This could work.

You are You're really good at spinning things.

You are false identities.

Look, Chelsea, the whole reason that Will wanted to do it this way was because he didn't want to create a scene in front of his wife. He didn't think that was fair to his family and his kids. He thinks the right way to go about it is for you to hand in your resignation.

Yeah.

I mean that would be the least friction.

And that poor mother is so stressed out already. She's back to work, she's got kids at home. Like she needs less stress, not more, and make it as smooth as possible.

Yeah, I just I'm gonna have to let you go. Oh no, Elsie, drop it. I'm trying to talk to you.

Bring back Chelsea.

Chelsea needs to hear this, Chelsea, Gee, please just give me one more chance. I mean, we could do something like maybe I'm taking American accent classes. Maybe we like slowly phase out my accent.

The children on top of all the.

Lives already such a common thing that all British people want to do well.

It just feels ridiculous that you're willing to fire me over an accent when everything else is so great.

I think it's the long term implications of it. But will it's really up to you at this point.

Yeah, yeah, I won't even bring up the accent thing. We'll just say that you were there was an accident, like you were driving on the wrong side of the road or something, and you can't.

Come to work.

Don't kill the nanny.

Well, you've heard of people who's getting an accent and then they speak in a different dialect when they wake up from their coma. It's brilliant.

She really likes working for this family.

We're not living in a We're not living in a movie here. Okay, that's not happening. All right, Well we'll figure this out.

Okay, you're you're at work with this family, Chelsea. But I'm sure there's another family who would be happy to have Elsie and learn all of her British family.

Jeffrey in the morning.

I know the group was a little shocked, maybe critical of how William wanted to let his wife know the British nanny wouldn't be coming over anymore. But you got admit it was a little clever that she's from England and she's driving on the wrong side of the road over here.

That was well thought out on his part.

He was joking, I hope.

I mean, if he was, then great funny.

He's got to tell his wife the whole story. Marriages exist.

I think, just wash your hands of it, no hurt feelings, stretch the truth one last time and then you're done.

She died anyway, what's for dinner? Yeah, no issues?

I mean, come on, he doesn't want to break his family's hearts and the idea of the super nanny.

It's more heartbreaking for someone to die than to be like so she goes to the same bar as them. How you're standing up for that idea?

I am very different definitions of heartbreaking.

But you know what strange man, If you're listening right.

Now and you have a British nanny that you suspect is a fraud, reach out to us because now we are expert nanny busters.

That's the next new TLC show.

I'm pretty sure nanny Busters coming up at seventh Central. Only here on Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, hit that subscribe button.