In today's prank call, there's a guy who's been commiserating with his buddy at work because they just did a huge tech upgrade in their building. Yeah, and after nothing is going right.
Does that always happen?
Yeah, you know.
So he's about to get a surprise call from the IT department, and I have a feeling they're going to say they aren't the problem.
He is.
It's your phones app right now.
I'm working jeffres phone taps on the twenties.
Hi, this is Jeremy.
Hey, Jeremy calling from the IT department. My name's Al. I'll be back. How you doing.
I'm doing good. How are you? Hey?
So the reason for my call you probably saw the email recently that we have upgraded some of the technology here in the office.
Yeah, yeah, I got that.
I just want to say I'm sorry. If you're running into any bugs or troubles, well.
I appreciate that. Yeah, there's there's definitely been a few hiccups in the system. Has not Yeah, we've been hearing what we're looking for. But if we can, if you're you know, helping out with getting things fixed, that'd be awesome. Oh.
Absolutely, Yeah, Well we'll take care of that. But interestingly enough, we are running into some issues on our end, specifically with your new smart keyboard.
Smart keyboard.
Sorry, I should back up a little. When we changed out all the computers, we also added some smart keyboards so we can monitor everyone's typing.
Okay, so did I do something wrong or what I don't? I don't understand.
It's not not so much wrong as it is aggressive.
What did I do with it was aggressive?
We noticed you've been typing at a significantly higher force than the average user. So what I need to ask are you angry with your keyboard or.
Not that I'm aware of. I mean, I'm a fast typer, but yeah, yeah.
Fast is one thing, but this is like hard, Like you're attacking the keyboard with your finger, you know, specifically the s key.
How in the world does it even have that kind of system to where I could seize the sensitivity tech upgrade? I just told you.
Remember we talked about this as a smart keyboard. Look, I catch you up with us, Jeremy, to get it with the times.
I mean, I understand, but I didn't even know that that was a thing.
It is, so you know you could be doing this subconsciously. Do you have like an X with the name that starts that S, or maybe childhood bully.
I'm just typing up my reports. If there just happens to be a whole lot of s's, I don't know, but I find it hard to believe that I'm doing this. If subconscious or not, I don't I don't think it's I don't know.
May I play the audio back for you because we actually have that capability?
Well wait, wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight. You are recording my typing.
Yes, we are as a company policy, really, and you know what, if you don't believe me, I'll play it for you right now and make sure to listen for those SS's. You'll hear them.
Please do. I would love to hear what the hell you're talking about?
There's an S.
Hard s Okay wait wait wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, don't be a capitalized Can you can you stop that? Please? Can you just stop the recording?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What did you say?
All I'm hearing is just noise. I don't even understand how you can tell what is an S and what is an agent and what is anything that's just noise?
Look, I'm just a tech guy.
Right.
I'm no psychologist, but what I'm hearing right now is a guy going through a lot of pain in life.
Give me a break, man. You're hearing that from my typing, for God's sake.
Okay, I'm just saying it's an issue we have to deal with, Oh my God. And there are options, the first being a planned intervention and I know I.
Know that's not planned intervention over my typing that.
Or you can attend a four week typing softly class. It's not as bad as you think. Okay, let's just imagine a whole month of gentle keystrokes. What we Wouldn't that be relaxing?
Huh?
Hang on typing on a sunset?
Does the company actually know that you're handling things this way? That they're paying for this?
Look, I get it, you're getting defensive.
This is a defensive. We do have a.
Seminar scheduled next week in Canada called how to Not Hate your Keyboard. Okay, if you drive there, the company is willing to reimburse you for half of your gas.
I'm not driving half my gas. I'm not driving to Canada for something like this.
Okay, Okay, just I'm going to think about. I always advise the employees to take action first before the company does. If you know what I'm saying.
There is no way in hell the company is going to discipline me or fire me based on the way I type on a keyboard.
Sure, but they may phone prank you, you know, or your coworker Josh may set you up on a morning radio show. I mean, you never know what's gonna happen. It could be happening right now.
What you don't know now you do.
Actually, because this is actually pose from the radio show Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, I'm we're doing a phone tap on you.
Are you freaking kidding me? Got you? Oh my god?
You thought I worked in it? Bro, I'm not even allowed in that department here at the radio station.
I can understand why.
Holy oh, there's that capitalist word.
Wait a minute, Oh my god, this is too much wow for you.
Imagine me. I got to listen to aggressive typing for seven hours a day. Now, it's a decipher which keys people are hitting too hard.
As long as the company is paying you for it, Bro, I'm just saying six figures.
Brother, I can't even count the cat those years I can't count that I.
Ken.
Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties broken Jeffrey in the morning,