Phone Tap: Little Spreadsheet Skank

It's almost time for your prank call. It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, and they always say, don't drink from the company inc oh or no, wait, no, don't stick your pencil in the office sharpener. No, what's the cartridge? Yeah don't yes, hose, got it. Don't dip your pen in the in the company's stuff. Anyway, one guy decided he was going to do that, and recently he started dating one of his co workers. So what did she do? She used that information to set him up. Yes, your

Oh? Good? Hi? Hi.

Yeah, So I just spoke with Terry not too long ago, the local HR rep, and she told me that you recently disclosed an in office relationship with another employee. Yeah, Libby, yes, correct, Yes, nice, looks like somebody got there before I could. What I'm just joking with you. I just want to have a little bit of humor before I get to the real reason for my call, which is that as a couple. Now you and Libby will fall under a different set of office guidelines. Okay, yeah, so I just needed to

Yeah? Go ahead?

Yeah all right. So, first of all, we do need to address PDA in the office. Sure, obviously, we don't want to make other people uncomfortable. So side hugs are permitted, but only at a forty five degree angle for under one and a half seconds.

Are you serious?

Those are the rules? Anything more than that, it's going to come across as kind of lude, okay, or like show Offye. So look at us so in love in front of all the other employees. You know, Oh that's the reaction you're going to get, just absolute puke.

Okay, Well, we don't do much that at work anyway. I wouldn't imagine that would be a much of an issue anyway.

Yeah yeah, but you know, just for some people, I mean me personally, i'd be cheering you on. Go behind the copy here?

Could you tell me what your name was? Again?

I'm sorry Chad Kroger. Chad yet Because we work at a financial institution, I do get a lot of jokes about how Chad Kroger you got a nickelback and dang, okay, that's probably where you thought we were going with this.

I actually wasn't.

But yeah, let's go back to the relationship guidelines. So any shared lunch breaks that you and Libby have together that lasts longer than twenty two minutes, it will be perceived as you two getting after it.

Oh hold on, are you kidding me? I mean that seems extreme because it's not even the thing that we would necessarily be doing. It's just you're saying that people would just be thinking that.

I mean, I'd be thinking it. I'm picturing it right now actually, but it is against company rules. So try to keep those lunches under twenty two You should be.

Good, Okay, Yeah, I'm.

Just I'm hearing from your tone. Do you have a problem with this. There's a lot of pushback.

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine. I know that I'm part of the organization and I should you know.

Yes, thank you, And look, I know we've discussed a lot of restrictions, but there are some benefits, like, for example, if you fill out a form, the company does provide free ed pills.

Oh my god, is there anything else? This seems like a lot.

Oh, you already have a supplier for that.

I see, all right.

Now, it's sorry to take up your time, but trying to help you.

Now, I'm sorry. I didn't mean.

I mean, I know what you meant. I get it. Just my last thing. And this comes directly from your supervisor. Pet names are totally okay if she wants to call you daddy or stallion, excuse me, something tame, but you're not allowed to cross the line and call her something like my little spreadsheets. Oh my god, keep on one for behind closed doors.

I feel like that's crossing a line. I mean, this is still inappropriate. You're using language that I would never even consider using.

Guys, sure, maybe you wouldn't use it, but Libby would.

No, I don't think she would. She would.

She asked me to use that specific phrase in this phone call that we're doing on you right now.

Yeah, I don't.

Are you just catching on now that this is a prank and you're on the radio with Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. What your girlfriend, Livy set you up for this? She said that you're really nervous about disclosing your relationship to HR, Like I am curious which office relationship Guideline was your favorite.

I don't know, I don't know. I was parsing out how I would hug for a second or whatever it was.

Yeah, well you'd have to time it if you're dating the little spreadsheets.

Oh my god, someone appropriated.

You can steal the nickname though, if you want to.

Uh no, it's all yours. Chat and Jeffrey's

Phone taps on the twenties