And welcome to fifty five Carsy Morning Show. Maryon Ben's, who is a we'll still call her a local author. We won't hold it against HER's of Cincinnaia native, but she did move to Atlanta in the nineties with her husband and family. But she is a local author, and she wrote a book. It's called You Were Still Dancing, The Unforgettable Journey through Alzheimer's. Marion Ben's, welcome to the Morning Show. It's great to have you on my program.
Thanks Brian, and I appreciate the introduction.
Well, you're more than welcome. I just give my little readers a foundation so they know it's a local author. I like to support local authors. I think it's really kind of neat that we've gotten them in the audience because there's some really talented folks out there. But your book about Alzheimer's and Sadly you were. How old were you when your grandmother experiences the challenge presented by Alzheimer's.
I was probably sixteen, mid teens. I would say I was still living at home and my grandmother. When my grandmother was diagnosed, she came to live with my family. At that time, there were six kids in a time, there were just two of us left, myself and my
brother Kevin, so Maul moved in. They looked at nursing homes and small, small family homes my mom and her sister, but they just couldn't come to an agreement on where to leave her, and my mom just she wanted her with us, so my grandmother moved in.
Well. Having lived through this with my father struggling with Alzheimer's dimension, I ultimately ended his life the challenges presented by having to care for a loved one, and not just the emotional component, which is obviously overwhelming, but my mom was just run down to the point of exhaustion because you know, it's a literal twenty four hour day, seven day a week proposition dealing with the challenges these folks struggle with.
Right, you know, And that was my mom was also work in part time, you know. I remember I was in my summers, I was a cam counselor. And during one of these years that my grandma was with us, I came back in the fall and my mom had aged overnight, and it was so dramatic for me and traumatic to see that just in the short ten weeks when I was gone, how much she had changed. And
you don't realize that I wasn't the primary caregiver. You know, I was witnessing what was going on, but you don't take the full blunt of caregiving as a teenager, even even I would help mom, or we would sit my brother and I would sit with mal so Mom and Dad could go out. But it is absolutely a life
changing aging process for the caregiver. And you know that's why I, you know, encourage people who talk to me who are going through it to basically to take your oxygen first, to take care of yourself, to make sure that you're eating right. You know, of all the research I did for this book, it's the Mediterranean diet is the one diet that just kept popping up, kind of went to the top of diets for people, not just to prevent Alzheimer's, but just to lead a healthier lifestyle.
And that's one of the things that you know I would recommend, but sleep, exercise, and then some form of just clearing your mind. I meditated, you know, And another really important thing is just taking people up on it, on the offer to sit with your loved one or finding someone who will sitting with their life, or paying someone just sit with your life, because you need to get away. You need to just step back from it.
And even if you're just going outside and taking a small walk and just breathing the fresh air, but it's all encompassing.
Mary and Ben's author of You were still dancing. This Alzheimer's situation, though, developed further because once your grandmother, I guess it was it after she passed that your mother came down with the symptoms of Alzheimer's.
Yes, yes, my grandmother passed, and you know it was it was another I would say fifteen twenty years when Mom started showing the signs, but she actually you know, Alzheimer's is now known to begin in the brain twenty you know, two decades before the symptoms first appear. So while we're out living our lives, there's a lot going on inside our head that you know, we don't know
about now. Now, there is early testing if you're brave enough to do it, and I haven't done that yet, but I have friends that have, and I think you really have to be careful to make sure that you have the personality that can handle that. Maybe you have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer's. I know myself if if I forgot a word, which I sometimes do, Yeah, the first place to know is I'm getting Alzheimer's, and just advantage that might follow out.
Oh my god, Benz, I have the exact same reaction.
You know.
I'll be sixty in September and I like to just pass it. I was like, jeez, Frian, you're getting old. You're just not as sharp as you used to be. And I'm struggling to find a word. But then again, I immediately think of my father, and it's unsettling, to say the least. So it is good, no, no, go.
Ahead in the absence of a cure, and there is none right now that I think you really have to weigh whether you can handle knowing that you have a greater chance now. Of course you can go back to all the things what do I need to do to prevent it? But you still have to know if you have the mindset that can you know, not go had turled places whenever you know we're my keys, or you know, you walk into a room and what did I come in here for? And I think that we all do
it to some extent. So when you have a history in your family. It's easy to go there, and then it's easy to kind of become consumed bias. Yeah, that's the you know, just to try to not go there.
Yeah. Actually, I can see it bringing on full blown depression if you, I mean, if you, if you're dwelling on it enough. It's just it's terrib because the disease is insidious. I mean it, I actually and I don't know what that sounded like disrespect for my dad or that I was happy he died, but what a weight was looked that he was miserable, He didn't know who
anybody was. He laid in his bed and had no function, you know, no control over his bowels, which is obviously a common problem in these situations, which is one of the reasons why you're tending to someone twenty four to seven. Uh, it's it's just he I knew he was in a better place, that he was released.
Right exactly. And and I believe that's the word. And that's how I thought my grandmother. I felt like she was just let go, she was released. And I think that's just such a nice way to look at it. And it really helps if you, if you it depends
on you know where you come from spiritually. But but if you do believe that we are you know, we are our soul, encompasses, are body or however you look at it, you know, to be released from those chains, and they really do hold you down when you have a disease such as Alzheimer's.
Well, if you're faced with Alzheimer's in your family, what having lived this now two times, you obviously saw it all, how do you what do you recommend people to do in terms of dealing with this challenge and maintain some sort of I know you mentioned the exercise and taking walks and all that related to caregiving, because it is exhausting, But what about just coping with the general reality that they're living with.
What are your recommendations the reality that that the caregiver lives with or the reality that the patient lives with.
No the caregiver. I was thinking more of the caregiver, because quite often the patient themselves loses any sense of recollection or even ability to recognize you as a as a relative, right, you know.
So for myself personally, I do and I think about it every day. That's the first thing. I Alzheimer's is no more than a couple of degrees away from you know, my thought process wherever I am. I do believe strongly
in a one meditation. I know I spoke with that earlier, but I can't emphasize that enough to even go into like a deep breathing clearing your mind, just kind of setting the tone for the day as you you know, get I believe that I always start my day with exercise, some form of yoga, some form of our Wilbek exercise, and just try to, you know, give my body the best chance I can to keep from you know, the
problem with Alzheimer's, it's not a problem. The issue with Alzheimer's is that Alzheimer's is very much like any other disease that affects the heart right. So if you have high blood pressure, if you have high cholesterol, those those need to be recognized and then they need to be taken care of broad under control, whatever means that is. I am on a satin I you know, I don't feel like I should be out of statins because I'm in state, and I eat right, and I exercise and
I try to do all the right things. But apparently genetically I'm predisposed to having high cholesterol. You tried my doctors ride to you know, do it you know with diet, do it with exercise. He gave me a lot of time.
Well, let me strongly encourage you to look into bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, which is what the Europeans do to solve the cholesterol problem. Plus it really makes you feel good, I mean really good. So Okay, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. You may your hormones could be out of balance, low estrogen, low tester and whatever, what testoster, whatever happens to be. But if you do some research on it, they don't use statins in Europe from what I've been told by
physicians that I deal with. So just a thought, but it also deals with a whole bunch of other problems, you know, metapausal problems and you know, sexual desire, and uh, I just it's it's it's kind of magical, if I may be so bold as to say so, Marion Ben's Now, I guess this book is recommended for anybody who is
dealing with the realities of Alzheimer's. Anybody who's got a family member or a loved one or a friend who's struggling with the disease, thoughts, comments, and how to deal and cope with it all In the book, you were Still Dancing, an unforgettable journey through Alzheimer's. By our Still, we'll call her local author Mary and Ben's Marian. Thanks for putting this down And I checked on Amazon. Everybody loves it. You got a five star review there and
it came out June of last year. So I people can get a copy of your book on my blog page at fifty five krs dot com and I'll encourage them to do that.
I really appreciate that, and I do think it's very for her going to say.
The process, yeah, and prayers to everybody who has to deal with it. It's not a fun process. Mary, and you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and a great weekend. And I'll encourage my listeners to pick up a copy of your book over my blog page fifty five krs dot com. Take care and thanks for your time this morning.