Parenting Without Shame
Episode description
Shaming our kids - good intentions, yet with unintended poor consequences. We’ve all done it. Parenting out of exasperation. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Brian Sutter take a careful look at the messages we are sending our kids. Fortunately, a very healthy and redemptive future is possible.
What is Shame?
Effects of Shame
Examples of Parental Shame
High-stakes Moments for Shame
How do we unwind Shame?
Discipline that doesn’t
Shame.
Nature of Shame
The idea that a person is, at their core, bad, unwanted and beyond repair.
Shame pushes your child into isolation.
“I don’t care!”
When our kids are being creative.
Call your child out from hiding and into community.
Separates their behavior from their personal worth.
Shame shames.
Shame says there is no hope. Because I’m broken and no one wants me.
“You are the only 10-year-old who doesn’t get this!”
When our kids are being vulnerable.
Enjoy your kids.
Breaks the will but not the spirit.
We will shame and will be shamed.
“You will never amount to anything!”
When we downplay interests and abilities that they have because they don’t match our expectations.
Celebrate their person.
Support guilt where it is appropriate.
Shame plays on lies and perpetuates lies.