Thoughtful Thursdays: Navigating Tumultuous Times with AJ Amyx

Welcome to the breakfast leadership show where we interview global thought leaders on business leadership and life here's your host keynote speaker best-selling author and chief burnout officer of the breakfast leadership network michael levitt welcome back i've got aj amex in line aj how are you you know i'm fantastic you know the temperatures are cooling down here in texas it's 101 not 108 so uh it's a good day you're not wearing a sweater i figured you'd be wearing a sweater or a hat

or something you know earmuffs you know maybe you know a scarf i mean 101 it probably feels like that though because you know when it's really warm and all of a sudden it drops down like that you feel it and you're like wow you know i'm you know here it's like you know 70s and it's a little cool today because it's overcast so it's like not that i'm complaining i don't have to shovel in this kind of weather so it's good but still it's it's an adjustment from you know when it was in the mid

upper 80s or 90s or things like that it's it's funny how dramatically things changes so so enough about the weather forecast uh it's going to be sunny and 101. A light breeze out of the West and go outside, make sure you put SPF on. So other than that, we'll leave it there.

So why don't you share a little bit about you and the work that you do? Yeah, man. So I've been a transformational coach for the past 12 years. I've coached all kinds of people in various industries from millionaires to 17 year old kids, social media, Forbes social media influencers. It's been a lot of fun, wrote a bestselling book and also been a brand manager currently for a company called Social Glow. Where we're helping coaches and course creators build highly engaged communities.

And so it's really fun. It's serving as kind of being at the helm of an amazing software company while still also guiding these kings and queens as kind of their expert wizard, I guess you would say. There you go. That's very important work.

And as entrepreneurs that listen to the show, you know, they're always looking for ways to connect with their audience and share their knowledge and their expertise to help those people people reach the levels that they want to be able to reach and getting to do work like that. It must be really fulfilling for you. Super fulfilling, man. Super fun to be guiding and being with amazing human beings.

And then it's super amazing to be kind of at the helm of the software companies who's helping people build community, especially in a time and day and age that we're living in. It's like the internet on one side has seemed to connect us at a level that we've never been connected before. And on the flip side of that, welcome to duality. We're also a bit divided,

potentially maybe more so than we've ever been before. And so it's really fun to kind of navigate this whole little sea that we're writing. Yeah, we've never been more connected and never been more disconnected. It's such an interesting paradigm and building community of people that obviously you like hanging out with people that share a lot of your beliefs and thoughts and all of that stuff, which is good because you've got things in common.

But I always encourage people to, you know, hang out with people that are different from you because there's so much to learn from other people. And I use this example a lot in my conversations, a health care clinic that I ran several years ago before I left the organization. We had people from 16 different countries working in that clinic.

And it was absolutely amazing, you know, the conversations and the stories and the background and all of us coming together to work on the greater good of providing amazing health care for people that need it. And every time, you know, I'd walk in and occasionally I'd go in, you know, we can see by the camera, you know, I'm Caucasian. So I walk in there and I see so many different vibrant colors and genders and all of that.

And I just thought about how dang fortunate I am to be able to have this little microcosm of our world in this tiny little clinic, helping people be better. And it's just when you can connect with people that are different from you, you can learn a lot. And it makes you more wholesome as a person, in my opinion, anyway. Yeah, I experience that as well. And we don't even have to be plugged into a community for that.

This is part of a way of life. If we live in a place where we're open, we're coachable, we're willing to kind of accept what is while also still kind of taking responsibility to guide our own ship. There's a lot to be learned. Completely agree. So this world, always entertaining and challenging for people. The last few years have definitely provided all kinds of twists and turns for people with the pandemic and what came from that work life.

Are you home? Are you a hybrid? Are you in person? Are you a caregiver now? What's going on with all of that? And then, of course, you toss in some of the global strife, which is typically always going on, but it seems to be more amplified.

And in people's nerves, I see it in the grocery store and other places that I go. I think people are really fatigued and a bit chaotic in some instances. So I know some of the work that you do helps people with chaos and keeping calm in the storm. So why don't you share a bit about that?

Yeah. I'm going to put on my tinfoil hat for a little bit, potentially. And so I did a podcast on this back in, this was in March of 2020, during when COVID was just taking off. You guys can go find it on Spotify. I don't remember the name of the episode or the number of the episode, but you can look at the Anthony John Amos podcast and find it. But I talked about how COVID actually has a gift and the gift of COVID was it was going to force humanity to deal with their shadow.

Meaning if you don't like something about the world or you do not like something about yourself, COVID's like, here's a mirror. What are you going to do about it? You can't escape it any longer. No more sedation. What are you going to do? And we've only continued to see this amplify over the past several years. And again, putting on my tinfoil hat a little bit, I don't know if this is true or not true, but it's an interesting thing to ponder.

If we look in the world of human design, there's a whole culture, you could call it, a whole body of work there that has a prediction that over the next two to three years, potentially, half of the world's population dies by wars, famines, natural disasters, illnesses, disease. And again, I hold all of this stuff loosely and I'm like, maybe. Who knows? But here's what I do know. Life can be intense. And if we've learned anything over the past two years, it is this. Life can be intense.

And even in the intensity, life can be beautiful. If we can allow ourselves to have the skill set and the mindset and the body set to basically suck ourselves out of, let's call ourselves a boat that's riding these waves of life. And we'd say the waves of life right now are up and they're down and they're big swells and it's stormy and it's crazy. And it's interesting that we've talked about the weather a little bit today, because just life's kind of like the weather.

Some days it's stormy and some days it's nice and 72 degrees. Other days it's like on fire, but we don't know. It's just life. It is what it is. And part of the lesson when we're coming home to maintaining our center in the chaos is understanding there's the principle that life means nothing about me. It just is. I can choose to take it personal. I can choose to be irritated. I can choose to be angry. I can choose to be a victim. And I'm not saying anything, any of that is bad.

I'm saying it's an opportunity. And there's also a possibility to align with the truth. It's just 101 degrees in Texas today. It is what it is. And the real question is, is how am I going to choose to respond to it? What am I going to do? If I want green grass, do I water the grass? Oh, but it's so expensive to water the grass. Inflation. I might as well complain. Or I could just align with the truth. Yes.

Inflation is, at least here in America, probably 30, 40%. If you're an everyday American, I'm not really paying attention to what the government's saying it is, but I could experience it going to the grocery store about 30, 40% across the board. I can experience that in the construction prices as we're building things right now here around our home. About that number. The real question is, what am I going to do about it?

How am I going to choose to leverage my skill sets and my mindsets and my body sets to navigate this, to be the creator of my reality rather than the victim? Again, I'm not saying being the victim is a bad thing. I can love the part of me who's a victim. I can yell. I can scream.

I can be with that. I can move the energy. energy and then at some point what am i going to choose to do about it more importantly who am i going to choose to be about this and so many people in the business arena they're about doing doing doing doing produce produce produce and it's a beautiful thing but in the midst of the production and the and the producing of things are losing themselves inside the sea of life,

And there's this simple truth to return to, which we started this in about 2020, which is like, hmm. How deep of a responsibility, human, are you going to take to take on your duty to choose who you're going to be regardless of what's happening outside of you? When one's willing to take that on, and I'm not saying it's an easy task.

I'm just inviting for those of you who are listening today, if you're willing to take it on, if I'm willing to take it on, there's liberation for even in the midst of chaos for me to still be a powerful creator.

It's making sense, Michael. Oh, it's resonating with me a billion percent. It's when I, you know, because I do work with burnout and burnout recovery and burnout prevention. And when the pandemic started, my initial hope, much in alignment with what you said, was it was an opportunity for people to take that look in the mirror and realize, okay, OK, the way things I've been approaching them, whether it's work, relationships, my life, my health, my mental health, all of that.

It was an opportunity for people to hit the pause button and take stock and realize, OK, what is important to me? What what do I have control over? You have control over your thoughts and your reactions to things.

Things case in point this morning i posted on social media an image that i had somebody put together was a quote from my book burnout proof and i say this occasionally when i do keynote talks and sometimes it raises some eyebrows because but i have to elaborate a little bit more and i say burnout is a choice and people that are burned out they chose to be burned out now Now, before you start throwing things at your speaker or if you're watching this on your computer, don't break your computer.

It does help stimulate the economy if you buy a new one, but it's also impacting your budget. So try not to. But burnout is a choice. The choices you make, the decisions you make regarding how you feel about situations or how you react to information or engagement with other people will dictate how you feel and how you feel is going to direct how you navigate through your day.

There's so many things that we spend so much time and mental energy and emotions on that are completely out of our control. He said, you know, we talked about the weather. It's 101 where you're at. It doesn't matter how hard you try. You're not going to change that outside temperature. Now, you can do some things inside in your home or workplace or car or wherever that can mitigate that a bit and maybe be a little bit cooler or find a shady spot.

It's going to be better for you. But ultimately, there are things that are out of our physical control other than how we react to it and the emotional ties we have to it. Yeah. And it's so important for us to remember that that's what we have control on. And if we can get that right, boy, oh, boy, does that make life taste so much better? Because then we can discern really quickly, okay, what do I have to do with this?

Is there anything I can do about it? Should I spend all this emotional energy about it? Yes. Inflation, 40% more to buy food at the grocery store. What can I do about that? Well, I can't do anything about the cost of things. I can adjust my budget accordingly and buy the things that I really need, or I can figure out ways to generate extra income so I can afford things I want to buy.

We have options, but it's taking that initiative and not pointing the finger or playing the a victim because playing the victim is not going to get you anything. It might get you some sympathy from people, but that's not going to help fill your pantry. You just have to approach it and do whatever you can to make the best of the situation and keep an attitude of what can I control? That's what I'll control. If I can't control it, don't try to because it just stresses you out.

Exactly. The best analogy I could give somebody if they're struggling with this, because somebody Somebody may hear what we're talking about and they're like, well, you don't, you don't understand each other. Like. Yeah, it's 101 degrees outside, but I don't have the house to go inside. Even my air conditioning is broken. I can't escape the heat. And for some people listening to this, there is a reality that whatever you're experiencing, there is the potentiality

that you can't escape it. It is what it is. And so even if I play with that analogy, trying it on, like for instance, two years ago, my wife was diagnosed with cancer. It is what it is. Like no matter how much I'm angry and trust me, I was angry. I was hopeless. I've rode the whole wave of that experience. But in the bottom of that pit, I still have to make a choice, which is either I choose to align with the truth and accept the fact it is 101 degrees.

It is ridiculously hot and there's nothing I can do to change the temperature. There's a fact with that sometimes. times. And still, even in that, I still choose, cool, well, what do I want to do? If I'm thinking, well, it should not be 101 degrees. It should be less than that. Then I'm living in an illusion, creating my own suffering and creating my own misery. Because the reality is, it's 101 degrees.

My thinking that it shouldn't be or that it should be something different is what's creating my misery.

It's a waste of my mental energy. It's a waste of my emotional energy. When I could be using that emotional and mental energy to come back to creator mode and responsibility and be like, well, I don't really necessarily like that it's 101 degrees. And it is what it is. Again, what am I going to do with this? Who am I going to choose to be with this? Could I learn to love? Just meaning accept the 101 degrees? Because from that place, when I can fully accept it, I'm coming back to center.

And now there's an infinite world of possibilities, which may mean I go on the journey to build a house, or I go on the journey to rent a house, or I go on the journey to find a tree. I don't know. Or maybe I just sit down and get a nice suntan. I don't know. There's a whole bunch of possibility. But my point in playing with this analogy is I understand some people who are burnt out, some people who are bored.

It just is what it is. And if we don't come back to this place of radical responsibility. Then nothing is going to change. And there is a mass of opportunities, even in the midst of this chaos, for those who are willing to have the courage to embrace and embody their ability to be a powerful creator, you can still thrive even in the midst of this chaos. And here's the crazy thing. I'm willing to bet that you actually can create more success now than you could

have in previous times because more people are going to sit there and complain. lane. So therefore, you're going to have actually less competition if you're willing to dig deep, do the inner work, figure out who you are and who you're not, and choose who you choose to be and do what you do. Kind of a crazy, exciting time when we start reframing and thinking about it and filling into it that way. Yeah. Oh, great.

And on those extremely hot days or extremely cold days or extremely comfortable days, one of the things that I have done in recent years is is, I just feel it. I'm like, okay, it's warm. But I'm like, I want to feel the sensation and focus on the sensation of it being warm. And it's like, and when I do that, it's actually calming. It's like, yeah, it's warm out. Okay. But I feel it.

And I, you know, think of, I want to embrace this. So when it's not warm out and it's cold and I'm wearing a winter jacket and a hat and gloves and all that stuff, I'm going to feel that, too. But I can channel that memory of when it was warm and go, I remember the warm days. It's like, OK, I'm not going to be OK, but I feel the cold, too, because it's the ability to feel is something that we just don't think about.

But it's one of those meditative type of moments for me where it's like I'm just feeling the cold, you know, make sure I don't get frostbite or anything like that or sunburn. You take precautions, but accepting it as it is, is such a game changer for keeping your mental strength on things that are moving things forward for you personally or professionally, your work, your life, things like that.

Being in the moment and actually feeling what's going on around you without condemnation or being angry or upset.

Maybe you lean towards, wow, I love hot days. This feels amazing. Then great. You're allowed to feel that, but keep tabs on that negative side of things. And like, no, we don't need to pour negative energy into this because that just causes stress and stress when When it's prolonged, it turns into burnout. So figure out a way to go. It is what it is, whether it's we're talking about the weather or we're talking about workplace situations or relationship dynamics or what's going on in the world.

Again, going back to what we talked about before. Control what you can control, which most of the time is how you react, your emotions and all of that. And once you get those things in tune, believe me, the amount of growth you will have is insurmountable. Like you just said a moment ago, because everybody is crying wolf and I'm the victim and this and this. Meanwhile, you're growing and doing some great things and progressing to a different level.

And up there, you know, not as much competition and you'll be able to accomplish all the things that you're supposed to accomplish in life. Yes. And a practical tip here, because so many people here in America and in the UK and across the world, they have unfortunately been taught to mask and suppress and sedate what they feel. And they haven't, so many have not been taught or equipped with, well, how do you even feel? Most people, when we're talking about feelings, It's still conceptual.

Well, I'm feeling angry. Well, what is anger? What's the experience of anger? Well, I'm feeling frustrated. Well, what's the experience of frustration? And what do you mean experience? This is what I mean by so many people have no idea how to feel. They don't know, like, let's bring it back to some body set skill sets, which is like, in the body, what are you experiencing?

Typically, if you're experiencing anger, you're going to feel it as pressure or tenseness or knots in your jaw, the back of your neck, your shoulders. If you're feeling tenseness, knots or constrictions in your throat or your chest, typically what we would call sadness, take the same concept, apply it to the belly, you got fear, apply it to the loins, you have creative or sexual energy, right?

And so if we can come back and understand the one thing that you always have control over, and this is a very practical tip for leaders here, the one thing you have absolute control over, especially in the midst of chaos, is one simple thing only always, which is your breath. How deeply can you choose to consciously breathe? Now, based upon our conditioning, we're going to have thoughts and we're going to have emotions, which I'll frame here as nothing more than energy in motion.

Anger has to mean nothing about me or another human being. Same thing with sadness, same thing with fear, same thing with creative life force energy, sexuality. It's just energy. But how deeply can I discipline my brain to tell myself to breathe and either choose to slow down my breath, speed it up so I can be with and feel inside my body and notice the sensations? What is coursing through this? How deeply can I control what I choose my nervous system to do?

Yeah, it's firing based upon my conditioning. True. But I can still come back and I can four counts in, six counts out. And calm it down. If it's even intense, I can even go more intense and. Until I'm back in control of me. From this place, we're taking, if we want to get into the science, we're taking our brain and our prefrontal cortex, and we're bringing it back under control where we're not just automatically in a fear response where we're fighting or we're fleeing or we're freezing or

appeasing. We're just like, let me come back here. Let me choose to be the soul in control. Because there's a deeper truth here that I've been experiencing recently.

It's like, life is the ocean. It's going to do what the ocean does. It's a bit of the duality. It's a bit of the paradox. Some days it's going to be crazy. Some days it's going to be beautiful. Some days it's going to be sunny. It's just going to change. And yes, there's this thing known as me, AJ Amix, who's like a boat that's floating on this thing. And if I become identified with with the boat, that I'm basically a victim to life itself.

There's a place where we can actually start coming back to being the soul in control where I become the captain. Where no matter what's happening to the boat, it's just happening to the boat. I don't have to take it personal. I can still align with the truth. Man, it's a stormy day today. And as I breathe and I get back control of me, I have a decision make. Am I sailing north, east, south, west?

A decision must be made because if I don't take control of the will to the best of my ability and try to go north or course correct to the south or the east of the west, then the boat just starts drifting and I become a victim to life itself. And this, unfortunately, is what I've made the mistake of doing multiple times over the past two years.

And it's what I also see when I look outside of humanity, what many people are doing because it is defaulting to their unconscious programming rather than taking on the responsibility to make their unconscious conscious so they can be the captain of their boat. And even in the midst of this crazy chaotic times, there's a conscious choice of, I will hold on to the will and I shall sail north.

This is where life starts becoming great no matter what's going on around us we're not in control of will we reach the destination i don't know we can't control that the only thing we can control is in this moment i feel called to go north so i'm doing everything in my power to choose to go north.

Other than that then there's a divine surrender and co-creation with this thing that would probably call god or source or universe or science or nothing whatever somebody's frame is no it's so So important to remember that. And we find our true north in situations at hand.

And like we talked about before, you know, kind of keeping the emotion out of it and just focusing on what we can do makes for much smoother sailing down the road. So AJ, I've loved this conversation. Where can people find out more about you and all this amazing work you're doing? Yeah, just go over to socialglow.com. You can check everything out that we're

doing on Social Glow. So if you want to see the software in action and how it can help you build highly engaged communities, I'm happy to show it to you. We have some really cool stuff going on over at SocialGlow.com. Big fan of the organization, the people there. So again, AJ, thank you so much for your time today. Really appreciate it and love this conversation. Awesome. Thank you, Mike. Thanks for listening to The Breakfast Leadership Show, part of The Breakfast

Leadership Network. Visit breakfastleadership.com for tips on empowering your business and your life.