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Class is in session as Friend of the Show MJ returns to [BRACKET!] for a tumultuous tenured tussle! Sixteen of your favorite teachers from TV, Movies, and The Adventures of Shark Boy & Lava Girl duke it out in our teacher's lounge from hell to see which fictitious faculty member is top of the class. Also: if someone has seen Cullen, please let us know. His family is worried sick.
The best b-team in the business is taking over the podcast this week while Cullen and Jesse recuperate from MAGFest! Join Dan, Diana, Colin, and Zakira on our own Canterbury Tales-esque trip to the gas station on the corner. We're gonna need you to distract the teen at the county while we fill these 40s with Slurp. Come on don't be a baby just do it.
Once again, as is tradition, we have summoned the winners of Season 11 to our Bracketorial Battlefield to fight to the death. Sixteen will enter. Only one will join the Bracket Pantheon of Tournament of "Tournament of Champions" Champions. It probably will not be Massachusetts. We also end this season with a fond farewell to one of the founding members of [BRACKET!].
WOW! How great is it to say "Christmas" without worrying about the liberal coastal elites being bussed in to my neighborhood by George Soros to kill my dog and drain my pool? Anyways it's time for a holiday themed episode, so grab a cup of cheer. After this season, you're gonna need it.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but unfortunately we were only able to catch 16 for this [BRACKET!]. Well, actually, we really only caught one. Turns out fishing isn't so much "fun" as it is "the worst thing you can do with your time." The rest we got from various pieces of pop culture and the McDonald's Lemme Get a McPick 2 menu. I got eight Filet-o-Fishs for $20 and change, so eat up.
It's a Cinematic Cult Classic Clash on [BRACKET!] this week as John, Jesse, and Cullen duke it out over...wait sorry. This list says "Treasure Planet" and "Speed Racer." What the hell is this. What happened guys? Did y'all just look at the last sixteen Mondo posters and make a -- FIGHT CLUB!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME
\*sniff sniff\* oh jeez. Y'all smell that? \*sniff\* Yeah smells like another stinker from your friends at [BRACKET!]. But wait! What's this? Special Guest, prodigal son, and co-founder of [BRACKET!] Greg L. Mercer joins us this week! And he brought fresh baked cinnamon rolls! Let's take a whiff of -- OH GOD THESE SMELL BAD TOO.
Happy Thanksgiving! We hope you all enjoyed a lovely sundae at the local scoop shop with your family and friends, as is tradition every 4th Thursday in November. Did you all go around the toppings bar and say what you're thankful fo-- okay. We forgot to make this a themed episode. There. You got us. Whoopie. Eat your damn ice cream.
Fun thing about America: there's 16 states. We do a podcast where we take 16 entries and debate about them in a single-elimination bracket. It might be a controversial episode considering the recent territorial tension between STEMtucky and The Under Realm in this new America, but please just remember we had no say in this. You think we wanted North Dakota and Idaho to merge into Thurtagen? WE DIDN'T WANT THIS EITH-- \*signal lost\*
Now you're playing with Super Power! The fifteen best Super Nintendo games plus Star Fox face off in a Super Sweet 16-Bit Bracket to determine which cartridge is king. If this is your last episode of the show, we understand. Can only push the envelope so far, y'know.
The 90s are back and better than ever as we face sixteen of the most iconic Nickelodeon IPs off in a cartoon clash! We need to wrap up by 9 PM though. Full House is coming on and it's the early episodes where Jesse has a completely different name. ANNOUNCEMENT: We're moving to Fridays for new episodes! Thanks for your understanding \<3
Gonna be honest with you -- at one point, we stop the show to play HQ. I don't know how it happened and I was there for the whole thing. Cullen shows up twenty minutes late and is like "hey heads up we gotta stop at 9 to play this iPhone game" and if I kept it all in the show, it would have been a three hour podcast. None of us won the cash prize, by the way. Stay tuned at the end for a couple Special Announcements!
It's a graveyard smash as Lori Beth Denberg and Steve Starkins from Lost Treasure Of The Valley join us to put a spell on you! This episode is creepy, cooky, mysterious, spooky....you name it. So if there's something strange in your neighborhood, put on this episode, because it's most likely Cullen and he gets easily confused.
Let's watch a Disney Channel Movie with Lucas and Emma from DCOMedy! Sixteen of them, to be exact. For the first time ever, ALL of your favorites are on here! We've got This Horny House, Phantom of the Opera But For Kids, Teen Wolf in March, Teen Wolf in Water, Fingernail Wizards...as John Ryan Abbott would say, "The 90s are back."
It's the (second) most wonderful time of the year! Bring your best flannel and join us around the bonfire for some hot cider. Hey one thing you have to know, though....on your way up here, you're gonna have to drive around this Oktoberfest thing. Whatever you do, do \*NOT\* stop. There will be dead bodies in the road -- this is a trick. They are alive. Do not exit the vehicle, and please do NOT take off your shoes. That's how they get their power. Okay so call me when you get this and we'll see ...
See, because last week we did "Best Uncle" and so like, this week we're doing Ants. It's one of my favorite jokes, a homophone joke. This is probably the point where Cullen would chime in and say something along the lines of "You can't say that, Dan" but Cullen doesn't write these posts and for damn good reason.
Your four favorite uncles are back at it again! Also they're moving in and living in the basement, the attic, and your childhood bedroom. Look, the situation isn't exactly ideal for us either. You think we want to drive you to school? I'd much rather be out there finding lost treasures and becoming a rock star.
Sixteen of SEGA's anthropomorphic animals go up but only one can come down as the winner of the worst episode idea we've ever had. Follow me through an hour of regrets, set me free from John's deep well of Sonic lore, and trust me that we will escape from this mp3. We all will just have to live and leaHEYBIGCATHEYLITTLEGUYCANYOUTELLMEWHATSINSIDE
Quick question before you start this episode: would you order the baked ziti from Sbarro? Like...and remember, this is just hypothetical...say they had every kind of pizza on the menu ready to go. Just out of the oven, hot and fresh. A veritable buffet of pizza. And sitting at the end of the counter, under a single heat lamp beating down like the summer sun on the side of a barn, is the baked ziti. Would you order it? Weird Q, I know, but you gotta figure out the answer for yourself before you c...
It's time once again. Sixteen winners face off in an epic Tournament of Champions [BRACKET!] to claim eternal glory and enter the hollowed grounds of Tournament of "Tournament of Champions" Champions alongside Clone High, Hammerhead Sharks, and \*sigh\* Dan McKenney.
It's a Brand Battle Royale on this week's [BRACKET!] to determine which corporate conception can always close the deal. Join us as we create our own Flo-sonas, discover the origins (and death?) of Grimace, and revisit our favorite minor-league mascot, Southpaw the Lynchburg Hlllcat.
The boys are back in town, with Friend of the Show Will Kusleika.
MJ from Dungeons & Lesbians and Can't Let Go - A Nashville CMT Podcast rolls into town with the county fair, bringing sixteen iconic rides to our Miserable Midway! Get ready to Tilt-a-Hurl with us as we explore the psyche of a traumatized young Dan, jump into some Bullying Machines, and float down a nasty river in a big splinter boat (look out for the camera!). Quick note: the guest's audio skips from time to time. It's not show-ruining, but just so you know it's not your audio player messin...
In honor of America's birthday, we've put together the sixteen best kinds of cake in a dessert duel to the death to determine which slice reigns supreme! Also in this episode is a shocking revelation about the Virginia Dairy Queen, Boston-style birthday cake, and even a musical number.
Fallon from Dungeons & Lesbians joins us to find out whatever happened to predictability and determine which TV theme is the very best like no one ever was! Nobody told you the podcast was gonna be this way, but life is like a hurricane here in Bracketburg. Sit your booty in a floor or in a chair while I tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air. We promise you'll have a yabba dabba doo time.
Okay so let's just be honest with each other here: we forgot about Destiny's Child. And that's a felony. Even worse, we have Ed, Edd, and Eddy on this list \*instead\* of Destiny's Child, which is a war crime. So now we're on the lamb and looking for a place to crash while this all dies down. If you happen to have a porch or shed we can hide under, please send us an email.
We weren't able to get together to record a new episode this week (sorry!) so please enjoy the very first BONUS EPISODE of [BRACKET!] -- Best Bonez! This episode was previously only available to Patreon backers, and features John Ryan Abbott, Jesse Knowles, Cullen Jennings, and Greg L. Mercer.
Ka-chow! We threw every Pixar movie released at time of recording (except Cars 2, don't @ me) into our patented Sweet 16 [BRACKET!], turned the dang thing on, and let 'er rip through each 90-minute romp to determine the best of the bunch. Join us on a journey of animated self-discovery where we ponder the morality of Toy Story and rewrite Frasier (classic Pixar buddy comedy) as an anime.
Stand-up comics Vanessa Gritton and Jessica Singer be our guests and help answer two simple questions: which Disney Princess reigns supreme, and if ye had ah chahnce te change yer fayte....wood ye? Join us as we embark on a journey to discover the colors of the wind, change who our reflection shows, go from Zero to Hero, and travel to a galaxy far, far away. Canonically Star Wars now exists in the same universe as Mickey Mouse. Sorry. Not our fault.
Come on down to our Memorial Day BBQ! Returning guest Gabe Silva brought some gout-inducing pulled pork, and Janette Goering picked up a case of ice pops and a whole thing of cornbread. Oh, and you have \*got\* to try the white-people kimchi Uncle Dan brought. It'll hold you over while Cousin John gets those adult front ribs fired up on the grill.
