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a fascinating conversation with my guest today, Sean Hemian. Sean is not only a talented actor known for his roles on nine to one, one, Criminal Minds, and The CW's Husbands, but also an inspiring writer. His book, The Good Little Drug Lord tells the gripping true story of a former Mormon drug dealer who finds redemption in the most unexpected ways as an undercover narc working for the federal government.
In this powerful memoir, Sean takes us on a wild ride through encounters with the Russian mafia and intense battle with his own demons and raw confrontrations, confrontations. I can't even talk anymore. What is happening with the people who shaped his journey, his mother and the mother of a young man who lost his life because of his past mistakes. Trust me, this is one story you don't want to miss.
I'm not laughing, it's it's just hearing it all together again, Like that is just so Yeah, it's a serious subject, but you.
Know, yeah, it's strange. I can imagine when you send me the email, I was like, this is definitely something I want to talk about because if this is all rooted in real life stuff. As a therapist, I have heard some of the craziest and darkest stories about, for example,
human trafficking. I know one client years ago, her neighbors just picked her up from Canada and just threw on a plane and took her to Diana and like we're waterboarding her and she got stuck in a human trafficking ring and it was vile, and I was like this that was like for me, that was the first time I realized that this kind of stuff really happens on mass you know. So when you're telling me about drug trafficking for the Russian mafia or whatever, I'm like, what, you know, you.
Know what's so funny about that? In the beginning, as I was being introduced to all of this, that's one of the things that was so appealing to me. I mean, this is take this out with the grain of salt, but like the being introduced to like the underbelly of the world, like things that were happening behind the scenes, was like, oh, this is how the world really works, Like we're all living in this lie up here, but underneath here like this is you know, the CD underbelly.
Like that's what was so fascinating to me.
Yeah, I can imagine it being something like straight out of Plato's allegory of the Cave or whatever. The guy gets free and he sees how the world really is, and he comes back and he tries to warn people, but they don't listen, you know.
So well, yeah, and especially for my very black and white Christian Mormon mind. It was so naive and so, you know, to me now, it's like I don't have to go do that experience to understand how the world really works. But to my like such my innocent, pure mind, it was like, wow, the world is so different than what I thought.
Yeah, so let's go to the beginning. How on earth did you end up being a Mormon drug dealer?
Oh?
Lord, Lord Lord, well, how much time do we have?
No?
I you know this is I I obviously, you know, with the amount of time we actually do have, I don't think I'll get through everything. So I'll try to summarize as best I can, Like, how the hell does that happen? You did mention the book, and you know there'll be opportunities for people to read that or or listen to part two of the podcast whatever, you know, but uh, how does that happen? I mean, you know in the book. Actually, I will say this. I do go forward in time to the rise and fall, like
the actual how does that happen? But I also go back in time because it's I'm asking myself like, wait, how does that happen? You know, not the actual you know, like the emotional, spiritual journey of like, wait, how the can I curse on this? How the fuck does that happen? So that's so when you read, uh, you'll again, you'll see me go forward in time and backward at a time, because, uh, how do where would you like me to begin?
Like start when you were an embryo?
I don't know, Like, well, well, buckle up, it's gonna be a long ride. No, okay. So uh so I was raised Mormon. Let's start there, and and uh family of seven, my father, my mother married outside the church. My father was never Mormon, but my mother was adamant about raising us in the Mormon church, and my dad
supported that. But it was always so strange. You know, Mormons are like, don't drink, don't see rated our movies, don't And then we come home and my dad would be smoking and being like, get the fuck out of the way, my rated our movie. And we'd be like, what's going on? But I really was closer to my mother and so, and you can pathologize all the reasons why I was closer to her. She was very depressed, so I you know, I try to always make you
say I was saving her blah blah blah. So I tried really hard to be a good Mormon boy, and I was. And when I asked a lot of questions about a lot of things that didn't make sense to the Mormon Church that they were just like, now, now, little boy, just pray harder. You don't have enough faith. And so I was like, I don't have enough faith, and so I prayed harder. But when I was thirteen ish, and I sensed it before then, I realized, oh, I might have a thing for my guy best friend next
to me. But this is the nineties, this is a Mormon church. This is like no no, And I, again, being the best little Mormon boy in the world, truly believed I was living in a Mormon god world and truly believed that this is the worst thing that could happen to a person. I mean, it was up there with murder. So I thought, now I was living in a world with a God who not only didn't like me, but it loathed me enough to curse me with this gain is you know, I really believed that. I really
really believe that. At thirteen, the point where I was like I wanted to die, I was like, this God makes me want to die. So that was the sort of beginning of the torment and the pain. You know, horrible things happened around that time.
I was.
There was molestation from you know, I might have been one of the first, like this is like ninety three, ninety four, I might have been one of the first like online predator victims. Crazy, you know. So when my older brother offered to take me out with him and I had my first drink of alcohol, no surprise, having that and finding some kind of relief from this torment, I was like, what is this? This is amazing. I want this and I want this all the time. And
so I was primed for that. I was, you know, and by the time I was eighteen, graduating from high school, I was already drinking during the week. You know, I was you know, I was black and out by that time.
I was. I was. And by that time I had left the church and I had I was sort of saved from the existential spiritual torment of living with the Mormon God because I fell in love with my best friend and I and it was so pure that I was like and we were like on and off for all four years, like undercover, but it was so pure and it's feeling that like, if something this feels this good and this right, it can be so right and
something's wrong with this over here. And so I sort of started dismantling what I thought God was at that time.
But it.
Didn't matter. I didn't have the tools to deal with everything that I just described. I was what is an eighteen year old to do with that? And when I came out to my mother at nineteen after you know, that best friend and I we broke up, and that was he was literally my world. And so when we broke up, I thought I lost my world. You could say he became my god. I went from the Mormon god to this god. And when I lost that god, I was like, well that's it. My world's over it.
Let me start cutting my wrists. My mother found me and this was my outing. How tragic is that? Now? Excuse me for laughing, But like I have to say, when I first started writing the book, I had read a bunch of other memoirs, you know, and they can become very like like look what happened to me, like masturbatory just kind of and so I kind of threw up my hands. I was like, ah, I don't want this to be sad, and I was like, oh, that's
the title of the book. So for the first six months, the title of this book was I don't want this to be sad. And I don't want it to be sad. I don't want it to be sad. I wanted to, you know, I want to you know, when there's laughter healing, and so I want to find that in there. I don't want this to be so like melodramatic, and I
didn't write it in that way either. So that's why I'm laughing through this because it's just it's so absurd now, it's just even even I took the part of the story I'm about to get to just it seems what it just seems so what like it seems so absolutely absurd, absurd. But after my outing, my terrible outing, and my mother sort of, you know, doing the very Christian thing of well, we love you, we accept you, but not the lifestyle, which is, you know, code for sleeping with other men.
So no, it's just flat out rejection. That was nineteen So most of the story happens from twenty to twenty three, especially twenty one to twenty three, because I went to theater school, I already found acting. By that point, I was like, oh, this is fun. I like messing around with this. I went to theater school and dated some other people. But it wasn't until I met a drug dealer in Washington in DC. It wasn't until I started experimenting with party drugs, specifically Crystal myth and I very
clearly remember the first time I had it. I could sense, I could feel how powerful. I mean, just as an anecdote, like, you know, to dance on the to go dancing on the dance floor, I had to be really drunk to do it, you know, because I'm stupid white boy in no rhythm kind of thing. And but the second I had the the meth, I was like a dancing queen, like just ripping it up and just feeling so powerful
and that feeling of being wanted. And it's very It's not a good drug for people who feel powerless in the world, because it makes you feel really powerful, and therefore you want it all the day, all the day time. Anyway, everything, all the addictions, I'm gonna sort of start to summarize because when I was with the drug dealer boyfriend trying to keep it to the weekend, it started encroaching into the week. You know, I'd be up for three days on the meth at this time. But you know, I'm
twenty two. I'm invincible. I got this excuse me. And I was going to school ninety miles south from Washington, d C. So Richmond, Virginia, and then Washington, d C. And you know, zoom up and down. But like I said, I was startingcroaching during the week. I started missing classes. And I would blame the boyfriend because he was so bad at drug dealing that he couldn't re up on the drugs fast enough because I needed something to actually get down to school. And slowly, you know, slowly, I
started doing more and more during the week. And it got to the point where I just decided that this dealer boyfriend was terrible at it. He was not reliable, not you know, not trustworthy. Mostly he couldn't keep up with this growing habit that I excused because of my age. You know, I'm twenty two. I'll be able to stop when I want to stop. And and and we got in some We got in a huge fight one night because he really you know, other people thought he was
a bad dealer. This is so funny. To talk about. But let me tell you too, I did say I did say this earlier when I first met him at like an after hours party, and the way he came in and the way that people just treated him like a celebrity and like he was the second coming of the Messiah, Like it was like, who is this person? And then he swept me up, And you know, the very first time I met him, I saw the most
amount of drugs I've ever seen in my life. And I'm just like wide eyed and like, yeah, there's this whole other world outside of this painful, tormented, depressed world that I just came from. This is so fascinating. This is so like whoa. And again I'm twenty two and invincible, Like this isn't you know, the bad stuff isn't going to happen to me. You know, this is just really exciting. This will make for a great story one day like today when I'm sharing it right now. I mean I
genuinely thought that then, and it's true. It's true. I mean, of course my actor brain was thinking in those terms.
But you know, I.
He anyway, he was just so bad at it. And then when we broke up, he accused me of trying to steal his business, and I was like so resentful. I was like, f you, I'll do a better job than you. And so I started dealing just to proven wrong. And you mind, you this is like dealing nothing like at a club, you know what I mean, running around at a club and doing little quarterbag. He's in little eight Like this is just a little bit of stuff.
It's still kind of like feeling wanted and thrilling and stuff. And I'm just like, Okay, we're gonna run around and do this. But the consequences started encroaching to you know, for example, to finish my theater final, I was rushing down to school and I fell asleep at the wheel and I drove my car in the back of a mac truck. And that wasn't my fault. That was his fault because he didn't get enough drugs for me to stay awake. You know, that kind of stuff was always
happening anyway. So what ended up happening was I liked the dealing a little too much, and I could see that I love the path. The meth made me feel powerful, but the dealing was like I'm a celebrity, like I own everything, like it was like I saw that. I could sense that, and I was like, I need to get out of this. I need to move on. Look, I'll prove him wrong, you know, I'll show him that I can do better than him, steal all his business, and then I'll make all this money and I'll get out.
And that's what I did. But on the weekend that I was like leaving at the time. This is not true today, but at the time, what I thought and what I thought for the rest of the story was that I fell asleep in the alleyway in the car. I did not know my license was suspended from that that said, crashing under a Mac truck. And at the time I thought he called the police on me. You know, I wake up middle of the night, tap tap taps the DC police. They asked for my license, and I'm thinking,
nothing's wrong. So I'm you know, I opened the window like this much because I was like, go away, and I gave him my license and then they they rip open the door, ripped me out, and I'm like freaking out.
They're like, licenses suspended, we have the right to search you, and so I'm arrested and I just I was just trying to leave and get out of this, and suddenly I'm pulled in so so a few weeks later after the rest, I was pulled in front of these two federal investigators, which was weird because they looked like they looked like like road managers for a rock band. I mean like I'm talking like Fu Manchu, cargo shorts, pan T shirts, like the one guy looked like Will Ferrell.
It was like, what, these are federal agents. It was so it was they're like undercover federal agents, and I was just like, what is happening? So they they they sent me a plea deal, but then they revoked it and then made it a mandatory debrief. I guess I don't know if they thought I could give them information, But when we did the interrogation, I was I played dumb.
I didn't give away a lot of information, but they thought I was enough immersed in that world where they said, without saying it, you need to keep doing what you're doing, aka dealing, and you need to get us something if you want this to go away. And I essentially said, in so many words back to them, I was a nobody. If I need to get you guys that kind of information I need to like deal more, and they're like, good luck. So I signed the paper for the informant.
In my mind, I'm like, I've seen the movies. I'm not a rat, I'm not an informant. What do you you know? But I was battling that the whole time. You know, my family knew everything. So when I came home to my you know I have you know, there's seven kids and my six other siblings, they're like, what's wrong, man? You know, why don't you just go rout on somebody.
I'm like, dude, didn't you see the movies? But they were threatening me with ten plus years and this is DC so it's federal because it was possession with intent to distribute. They caught me with a lot, So that's like March of twenty sorry, not twenty. That was like March of two thousand and three four, and I had about six months March, April, May, June, July, ar six months. I was like my runway. So now I was trying
to get out. Now I'm stuck in it because I have to keep dealing in order to get them information, and my mind is blown, like how is any of this real? How is this possible. What the fuck? What do I do? What do I do? You know, I don't. It's kind of obvious that my drug use skyrocketed. Now I'm using every day all day. I forgot what it was like to do a sober breath. I started smoking the meth but never injecting, because that's what addicts did.
And I had running mates, meaning I had people who would run and do deals for me, and I had a lot of you know, the first month or two was trying to figure out ways to get people to deal with me, because people knew I was arrested, so I was like red flagged, so they were all paranoid
to be around me. So I started traveling to other cities and my plan was to find a bigger supplier elsewhere, come back to DC, and when it was dry meaning no product, people would buy from me and then give me access to a bigger DC supplier and then debate on whether or not to turn them in. I still didn't know. I didn't think about that far ahead. I just needed something to do because again I was still wrestling with like can I live with the rest of my life with the guilt of being like a rat?
And you know.
I went to Fort Lauderdale, New Orleans. I went to New York. The best place was Atlanta. It was cheaper there because it was closer to the Mexican border for the cartels. And I struck up this relationship with this one supplier. He was reminded me of myself. He came from a very religious background. He was just a sweet guy. He was like a pastor's kid, and it's like, what
are you doing this world? He was like a massive supplier in Atlanta, like one step away from the cartels, like the person he got it from who got it from the cartels. And he would tell me this, but he would never bring me along because it was too dangerous. But I would try to buddy up with him. So I was like, am I going to rat on him? Or wait, maybe I can find out who that person
is and rite on them. And then but then I got way too paranoid because I was like, at that point, we were like learning of cartels chopping off people's heads, and so I'm just like, what the fuck do I do? And he for a good stretch there. I started trance trafficking through the airports to get the product back up there, and I put it on my body like I had this special underwear that I would do. Still the most terrifying thing I think I've ever done to this day.
It didn't matter the amount of drugs I did, it was still, I mean, fortunately for me at that time I think I still do like it looked like some dumbass white frat college kid. So so fortunately for me, I learned, But earlier, before I learned, I would always buy this ticket one way, which is like automatic red flag for security, extra security check. But I'd be put in a line, and I'm not kidding, it'd be me
and like thirty Middle Eastern looking men. Because this is two thousand and three, thousand and four, this is this is post nine eleven. They could have cared less about me, but it's still enough to get paranoid. And twice they found a baggie of white powder. I thought I cleaned out my bag well enough. Twice they found it, and twice twice I got away. They were just I played dumb college kid. I mean, I can't. I can't even There's so many lucky sob son of a bitch like
parts of this story that just blow my mind. So I thrived on this because I did get back to DC and people didn't have product I did, nobody else did, and so suddenly I was the big cat and town and hence the good little drug lord that's like the Mormon drug lord. And so I was. I was on top, and I got by like that for a short while, knowing my courte was looming. The agents they were in my phone as I don't know why I did this.
They were in my phone is Yes and No. That was the name I gave them because I was like, yes, I do rather no I don't. I don't know why. So I would get random texts from Yes and No, just being that clock is ticking. What do you got? One time I made up completely made up information, I was like, I don't, I don't even know. I don't remember what I wrote. I just know I made something up, and I'm just going through this whole like what do
I do? What do I do? I also didn't want the drug used to end, because you know, I was. I had to use more and more to actually escape all of this the torment and to actually get really really high. So I just I didn't, you know, but what happened was and actually the reason I even wrote this book is because not to show off like this is what happened to me. The reason was because one time when I was in Atlanta, I was involved in an incident with one of his friends who you know.
So there's a party drug called GHB, and like a thimbleful, can make you feel like you're drunk, and it hits the same parts of the brain. The gays love it. It's just it's just it's just an easy way to feel really drunk. The problem is if you mix that with alcohol, it's it just shuts the system down. It's lethal. And this one friend that I only met that night who I was giving drugs to, he on his own,
we think drank alcohol after he had the GHB. And you know, when somebody falls out from too much there also is when somebody falls out from too much GHB. We just put them on their side, they go to sleep, that's it. But we never think that they mix it with alcohol. This guy did, and all those consequences that I never thought what happened to me. I was still still in disbelief that these things would happen to me,
and by that point I was arrested. I was an informant I totaled my car, I had been in threatening situations. I was now a full blown drug addict. But still the consequence of actually somebody actually oding was just not computing to me. So I had many opportunities to potentially save his life if I acted sooner. And that's my biggest, biggest regret for my time out there. I finally did act. You know, I got my friend. We were at the club, and he was hysterical because you know, by the time
we looked at the friend, he was blue face. I mean, his eyes were still, I mean, the guy was. I started doing CPR. I mean it was a very classic dropped him off the er and sped away. I was very high, it was very paranoid. I was very all kinds of things, different state of mind. I get all that, but still it's a major regret, to the point it terrified me from traveling. So now Steven's out of the game, I'm back in DC. I don't have a supplier. I'm
with nothing but the core cases looming. I don't know what I'm going to do two weeks later, And this is the reason why I'm actually running the book or I wrote the book. I get a random phone call. I was the last number that this young man who died. I was the last number on his phone bill. And his mother, I mean this deep, like I don't know Alabama. Georgia act like she was like, please don't hang up, just sobbing, and she just she just wanted to know
what happened to her son. I was paranoid. I didn't know how she got my number. At that point, all kinds of things are running through my mind. I'm even thinking like is this like a setup to get cops for the cops to get me to confess. I mean, this is a drug addult, paranoid mind. And she just begged to know what happened to her son, like why was he dead? I hung up on her, and that was the beginning of the end for me. I mean
it was very dramatic. I even stood up. I had a glass bong, like a meth bong in my hand, and I was like, get up. It was very dramatic, but it was like I still feel that twenty some odd years later in my book. After a year later, after I got sober, I tried to find her and I could I couldn't find her. I tried recently, I couldn't find her. So my book is also like a message in a bottle to potentially this grieving mother who's still out there, to offer her some solace if she's
looking for that. She may not even be looking for that, but this is my way of making an amends to her, is to like really get this book out there. But after that happened, and with more pressure from the investigators, I needed to do something, and so I had one of my runners was by day hairstylists, and he would do house calls, but most of his house calls at this point were to cut someone's hair and to deliver
my drugs. So we had a lot of clients like that, and one of them was this girl whose boyfriend was trying to get into the business. The only catch was he was supposedly tied to the Russian mafia. And when he first told me that, I was like, get the fuck out. What do you get the shut just no, like no. But at this that was before all this went down, And once this all went down and I had no other options, I said, fuck it, let's do it. And I met him and he claimed to be Russian mafia.
He looked he was early twenties like I was. He looked Russian mafia. I mean he put a it was an in pearl inlaid gun, like just on the table, just to make sure I knew I was not you know, he was not somebody to fuck around with. He had the best meth I had ever come across, and that I'm sure anybody would have ever come across. And he wanted me to, you know, he had pounds of it and he wanted me to, you know, supply the city
with it, and so I did, and uh uh. The myth was so good that I ended up using most of it and not selling it. And I started owing this guy money and he started threatening me more with like do you know who I work for? They're watching you, And so my paranoid mind, I swear I saw old Russian ment following me everywhere. He put the gun in my face, he would pin me. He was also very attractive, and so I was like it was really messed up because I was like, oh, okay, man, uh uh, but
I was trying. I was trying. I was, And that's when I was like, am I turning in the Russian mafia?
Like?
Is that what I'm doing here? Is that am I about to do this, because like that would definitely get my case cleared. I didn't wear a wire or anything, but you know, it took the in my Bookie's name is Serge. She went by or Vediem. Sorry, his real name was Serge, but he goes by the Vedemon the book. There you go. He would always meet me at a hotel, but eventually he trusted me enough for me to go
to his apartment. So and also he started talking about like his brother was having a baby, He's going to be an uncle. Like he started giving me more personal stuff, and in my mind, I'm like begging him to not tell me this information because now I'm just getting more and more information to tell these investigators because the clock is ticking and I'm almost there. But it got so bad because I started owing him, I mean thousands and thousands of dollars that I had to just cut off,
like not cut off. I just avoided him. And so now here I am about to have to go to my sentencing. This mother recently called me. I'm feeling like the worst piece of shit in the absolute world, Like how can I be like this? I deserve everything bad that's happening to me, this guy's threatening my life. Wait if I get off this case, is he get to still thrown? Wait? Is he gonna kill me if I turn him in? Wait? What does that mean? And I'm also a piece of shit? Oh wait, I actually can't
stop using drugs. This is like the first time I'm realizing that. And then my only solution was like, I fucking deserve to go to prison. I deserve it. I can't stop it, Like I was, like it or go run away and hide. So when I showed up to my sentencing, I was like proud that I wasn't a rat, but I was also like looking for the safety even though prisons scared the living shit out of me, and the investigators were constantly like, dude, you don't know what
it's like in there. We do, you won't survive, like they were constantly making it like the most terrifying thing in the world. But out here was terrifying. And my parents and my family, what were they gonna do? What were they gonna do? This was like all a situation. I was just this was I've always tried to find a way to describe the level of loneliness that I felt because I was hiding from the world by being
in the drug world. Yet in the drug world, I now had a secret that I was hiding from even the closest people I was with, that I was this informant. None of them knew. Absolutely nobody knew. So I was like alone, like just crushed under everything that was happening. So that's part of this sentencing was just giving up. Was just like I can't I'm done. I don't know
what to do. I'm done. But when I showed up for the sentencing, you know, I had a court appointed lawyer, this guy named Dennis Braddock Hart of Gold, I mean the classic like you know, he'd give me his last sandwich kind of guy. In fact, in fact, way back when when I was first arrested and he was first appointed to me, and the night after my arrest and you know, he's walking me out of the courthouse, he gave me twenty bucks. He was like, I'm sure you
need this kid like that kind of guy. He's with me and we're standing up before the judge and this young prosecutor stands up and the judge you can see like in his eyes like he's ready to just sentence me to everything like ten plus years your fucked kid. But the young prosecutor was just like, you're on a resking for this case to me dismissed. And Dennis is like, don't say anything. I'm like, I don't know what the Fu's happening. And the judge is even confused. He's like, I'm sorry,
what are you sure? And he repeats it, and the judge was like, case dismissed. And you know, mister Braddock grabs me, pulls me to a side room, sits me down. He's like, what did you do? I'm like, you know, in the tweaker world, people say they know somebody who did something. I mean one of the one of the main dealers until he was busted three times was a
retired federal judge. I mean this guy. There was this guy who lived, you know, near the capitol and he was a retired federal judge and like his house was a known like I mean, you went there and like whatever you imagine a drugged nd to be, That's what this was. And this guy, you know, so people, you know, one of one of the people I dealt with was I'm not going to say who, but there was was a campaign finance manager, you know, from one of the
Senate campaigns. Another was a retired pop star. So like, people do stuff, but I didn't think anybody who's actually gonna do anything, and I don't think anybody actually did. But I said that to that mister Braddock, and he was just like, I've done hundreds, if not thousands, of these, and I've never I've never seen this before. And I'm exactly like how I am now. I'm just like, He's like, you are, this is your second You are get out
of here and never come back. And and uh, I got out of there, and I'm in shock, and I you know, I called my mom and she was, you know, sobbing, and I'm just like really experiencing this, Like I'm like, Okay, this is my end. Okay, this is my out. And then I walk a few more steps and I start
craving myth. I walk a few more steps, I start craving other drugs, and then I walk a few more steps and then I'm like, I can't get out because Vadim was threatening my friends, so I have to keep dealing in order to pay them back.
And so.
And so I lasted six more weeks based on that, and it got dark and those six weeks is when it got dark because I didn't now I didn't have any money. So what did I do? I in a hilarious chapter in my book, it's not what you think it is, but I definitely was paid for sex. But it wasn't actually full sex, but I was paid for it. It was a terrible experience, but I got enough for an eight ball to start, you know, doing my business again. But I was, I was. I was long gone those
last four weeks. And also I lived in an abandoned apartment. My running mate, this gal who is closest to she was starting to live there. Other friends had, but it was abandoned because it would flood out. It was a basement apartment that would flood and the rain so it had this moldy smell and like from rain water. And I was like on an air mattress. And I was convincing myself that I was here to make some more money to pay off the dem which which was stupid.
And so when this running mede, this girl is with, when she came to me two weeks before my twenty third birthday, and she said, I don't want you to get mad at me, but I want to get sober. I want to go to rehab, and then I can't. I should, you know not. I looked at her and I was like, I looked at her, and I was just like, you can do that. Like I didn't know that was an option. I truly, I you know, in the nineties, it was like train spotting. So it was
like Heroin addicts in a haunted house. Like I just didn't know, you know. A side note. When I did go to rehab, eventually, I was in that half of the people I was in there with were suburban moms who couldn't stop drinking chardonnay, So like re answer anybody. But I was like, I suddenly had this out. I was like, Okay, well, you know, my birthday is in two weeks. Let's celebrate my birthday and have a going away party and so and we'll stop then. And I
was serious about that. But when we hit my twenty third birthday and the clubs, by the way, they all knew me. The owners knew me. I didn't, you know. They gave me a going away party at one of the biggest clubs there. They just handed it to me, because you know, and we had the going away party and then you know, the next morning came and it
was when I was supposed to stop using. And this is when all illusions, this is when everything, everything, whatever mental constructions I was building in my head just shattered to the ground because I was like screaming at myself to stop using, but literally my body was keep kept putting the pipe up, and all illusions that I could stop were shattered. And that's when I realized I had an absolute absolute. I was fucked. I had an absolute
This is you know. I came back into my body for the first time in two years, and a small window opened up where I realized we had a Kate Lexi in the book. We both recognized we had a small window to jump through, and so we did. And eventually she called her parents and I called mine, and they, you know, they picked us up while I'll say this and then this is the end of that story. I got through it actually faster than I ever have. By the way, you're you're helping me be more efficient with it.
This honesty of suddenly saying I have this talk about authenticity, I can't stop using. I need help. I made my ex boyfriend come and get all the drugs I called my parents and while they were on their way, I didn't know what to do. Vadim was still calling me and I didn't know what to do. And he shows up and I didn't know what to do. But I was doing this honesty thing, so I didn't know what to say. So I said, hey, man, I'm getting sober. Can I pay you back in installment plans? Can I
have a payment plan? I didn't know what else to say. I was just like, I was like, I'm going to rehab, and I shit you not. My editor made me change the wording of this because it sounded too like unrealistic, but I swear to you. He took a beat after I said I'm going to rehab. He took a beat and then, looking wistfully, he's like, you can do that, Like he said the same thing I said. I was like, what is up with this world? And so and I'm like, yeah, man, yeah,
you can totally do that. And then there was another beat and he's like looking wistfully off and he turns back and he's like, you know, I've always wanted to sell real estate in Baltimore. Yeah, man, you you can do that. Yeah, yeah, you should do that, man, and then there's another beat and then he was like, you know what, forget about the money, good luck, and my mouth just dropped and it confirmed, you know, what I
was doing was the right thing. And then I got in the car of my parents like white suv or minivan, odesty minivan, just put my head between my legs and just we were off And that was the beginning of my recovery journey. It sounds so unbelievable, but it's all in the book. It's how it happened.
That is insane. What made me laugh was like it reminded me of blow with Johnny Depp, except yeah, yeah, a whole lot weirder and a whole lot more luck. Especially when you were talking about the hairdresser, was like Jesus Christ Almighty.
Oh, I didn't even I didn't even talk about so when I after, this is so funny. This is just to add to the weirdness and the absurdity of everything. So right after I got arrested and nobody would deal with me, the only person that would was this high powered DC attorney who you know, knew better. Like he was like, kid, you're not gonna fuck with me, Like he just essentially said that to me, and I was playing dumb. I was like, what are you talking about?
I have not done a uninformant. He was like, dude, you're an idiot. But I became his dealer and his girlfriend was this She must have been early fifties. She probably was in her forties, but she looked like Shirley Temple. She had freckles and she was a prostitute. But she was half deaf, so you had to really speak up and articulate. And so what happened. What happened was I lived with her the first couple of months of just
getting out. So in the studio apartment was this fifty year old drug add like tweaker, like prostitute, half death. I'd be like, Kimmy, like that, I'm living with her. So it's just this absurd scenario that I was that I was first put into a bunch of characters.
So when are you going to work on the screenplay? Is my next?
Yeah, that's that's for sure happening at the same time because you are definitely not I mean, people want to see this. I mean you'll see it in your mind. Obviously, you'll have your own everybody has her own idea. But I I would I am working on the screenplay myself, but you know, I would love it. I'd love to hand it off to a direct with his own vision because I want to see how somebody else does my story.
But I can. Yes, I'm working on the screenplay, so you have like the architecture of everything, but I want to hand it off so somebody else can, Like, how would somebody else approach this? I'm obviously too close to the material.
Right.
Man?
Do you really think all of this just happened for a higher purpose even though it was? Hell, I what.
A great question. If I want to have a better time at life, it behooves me to believe that. I think for a while there I was more of the nihilistic what's the point? We're all just you know, going through my phases of understanding spirituality or higher power, whatever you will. But I do choose to believe that there was a purpose for sure, particular to my soul's authentic journey through that. Regardless of that, even an atheist who would look at my story and be like, yeah, no,
you weren't meant to be out there. There's too many there's too much good luck and too many close calls like you are you are lucky, lucky, lucky, And clearly you were meant to get through that part of your journey pretty quickly because it burned. I burned through that real, real fast. And if my journey is now on this other side where I'm sharing it like this, then this is another part of this is an extension of the
journey to what end. I don't know. I told you my own personal which is an amends, which is, you know, trying to make up for the awful choices I made, regardless of the state of mind that I was in. I mean, there's a perspective on my story where I just made a bunch, not a bunch, I just made a bazillion really bad choices, and irregardless of the amount of pain I was coming through. You know, I painted a quick picture of what I came from, and that's
that's not even all of it. Obviously it's not all of it, but there has to be a purpose to it.
During your time in rehabilitation and all of that, what was the turning point for you when you said, Okay, I think I got a handle on this and I'm actually ready to live In reality, there's two moments.
I would say that first year I did, I did rehab in Northern Virginia and then I did an outpatient program in Washington, d C. At the Whitman Walker Clinic, and I had a really wonderful counselor there. And that first year I was kind of like I was cocooned. I was in this bubble. I was just like I was still dreaming of, you know, being this big, working actor. You know, they were fairy tales at that point. I never actually thought it'd be where I am today. But
they drove me. But I was still so it wasn't like I ruined my life and now I'm building back up. I never had a life period. It just didn't feel like that. So the rules, the tools for living my specific lite, I just I was building from the ground up, from the ground up period. And so it wasn't until that counselor who saw, you know, he believed in me, he saw something in me, and he really pushed me. He's like, listen, you can't you can't just sit here. You gotta go. You gotta go out there and you
got to live your life. You say you want to do the acting, you need to go like he just he basically shoved me into reality, and I'm gratefully did because Los Angeles has some of the best recovery in the country, in the world, and you know, since the pandemic, now everything's on zoom and stuff, so people are experiencing
the recovery here. It was that. And then I had another incident where, while you know, my first year in LA I was at a meeting and I was deeply moved because there was this very big bear of a man who was the lead share at a twelve set meeting, and he was sobbing, sobbing in gratitude because he was so grateful that he was sober that he could adopt
his sister's children. And he was so grateful that he was sober that he could adopt his sister's children because she was still an addict and was selling her four and six year old for money, fucking devastating, and so he was available because he was sober to adopt them, and he was sobbing. And that was the other That was the moment of I guess one was shoving me into reality. This was understanding my place in reality, like, oh, there is a higher purpose for me getting sober. This
is not about me anymore. This is this. I mean, that man just changed my life just by him expressing that, because I was like, oh, there's there's other reasons for me being sober other than me just getting sober.
It kind of like broke a glass case and let you out, you know.
Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right.
Yeah. Wow. So there's so many questions I could ask you. I just feel like you've shared this really huge, intense story.
You were you riveted and captivated.
And yeah, it was like I was like, wow, I can't wait till he sends me the book. Yeah. Yeah, because I'm going to read it for sure and be like what the hell. But you know, okay, so this is the inspiring segment of this podcast. I get okay because it's like, okay, see, your your shit out of luck, you have nothing to scratch your ass with, and you're like, I've got to become an actor real fast, and I got to succeed at it when the odds are like
ninety nine percent failure for everyone. You know, how did you do that? I mean, obviously you're lucky. Obviously somebody smiling on you. Well, you know, the.
First five years that I landed in La. It was it was two meetings a day. It was just it was just about putting one foot in front of the other, like I said, not just rebuilding, but building, Like who am I? What am I doing doing all the therapeutic work like all that kind of like it was just like what is happening? Yes, I was taking acting class? Is I? I do believe in acting. In booking acting work especially, there is a large you would you call it luck.
But I also believe that, like you know, my previous story that I shared had a purpose, So then my acting story, if you will, is also going to have a purpose. And so there's reasons unbeknown to me. Why. You know, ten years ago, I was just booking work like right after the other, and I was like, this is easy. Look, anybody can be an actor. And all I had to do was show up to the audition and do the deliver. And then there you go. It's
on me to think, oh, I'm special because I'm booking work. No, it's it's that's no, You're just right for the part, and that's what happens. But then years where there's a shift in the industry and I'm not booking work. I'm not on top of the world. I'm not feeling wanted. I'm dealing with all those feelings I had previously that I would normally turn to myth, but now I get to process them in this way and stuff all the way to like, you know, more recently, it's all turning
around again. It's like, Oh, here's all this acting work. Let's just keep going and stuff like that. The thing that I would say how it turned around, the thing that I would say if it helps anybody else, there is inside of me, especially for my heart. I think in my heart that me as an artist in general,
is my to use the title my authentic path. And the reason I feel that is because it's very clear when my heart is singing about something, when my heart is into something, when my heart feels the most joy about something, that is a sign post that is a oh I need to move in this direction. And it's because I really enjoy this. I have a lot of fun doing this. What that looks like? This guy loves to figure out what that looks like, and he's always upset because it never looks like what he wants it
to look like. That's not my job, and that's what I've come to learn is not my job through the years taking me a long time to get there. My job is to listen to this and follow forward with that. So the results of that, like, you know, how did I book so much work at the beginning? How my booking work all? Again? You could say it's because I listened to this and I just kept moving forward. Yes, did I do anything special to book all that other stuff? No?
So that the luck part is more like what's right for me at that time based upon higher whatever. I mean, if somebody wants to go deeply spiritual with it, it's like whatever is God's will or God's path. Not rolling my eyes at that, I'm just saying like, whatever language somebody wants to put in that, I mean. Then that, you know, brings in the argument of how much control do you think we actually really have? What does that look like?
You know, I get what you mean. People are always like, oh, it's the universe, or it's God put me on this path or whatever. But as a person, I consider myself to have a very deep spiritual site. But I also am very realistic and I think it's all about just hard work. It's all about your mindset. Are you going to keep trying until something happens. Are you going to get out there and make it happen for yourself? Because nobody's really going to put stuff on your plate, you know, correct?
I mean even I always used the measure of I always do use the measure of what's happening in my heart. And what I mean by that is like every year. You know this, I don't need to tell you or anybody listening to that there's a ton of rejection in my industry. You know a lot of people, if they're lucky in their life, that are not in Hollywood, go on five, maybe ten at the most job interviews in their entire life. There's been months where I do ten
in two months, ten in a month. You know, those are job interviews, Like I have to put everything into that to show up to try to get hired, and then they don't even It's worse, they don't even tell me. I don't get it. They just ghost you, you know. So it's like whatever you can do to like move through that, you know what I mean?
I know exactly what you mean, especially when you said they just ghost you. I came from a background.
I was in music.
Yeah, I wasn't an informant, but I had a background where heavy drug use was involved in It shaped my life for a long time until I was maybe about twenty five, and I ended up in a lot of rooms through sheer hard work with a lot of my heroes. And I met my heroes and I realized that they weren't the people I thought they were. And I realized how much politics and you know, auditioning for certain bands and stuff, and it wasn't even like yeah, it wasn't
even like okay, So, like you've probably experienced this. You can be the most technically efficient and qualified guy for the job, but they pick somebody else because they just look the part, or they've got connections or something like that. So there's a lot of really talented people out there who end up not being seen or heard because of politics or favoritism and things like that. Or you know, even in strange cases, maybe you're just not like into
witchcraft or something, or it's something spooky. There's a lot of shady stuff that I've seen. I've seen a full spectrum of things, and people think that you're like I want to be conspiracy theorists, or you're making it up or something. But he there's a whole big white world out there with so many different options, and you have no idea what you're gonna run into. And I learned that, and I also realized that the music industry can be
a very dark place. And like you, I listened to what was in my heart, and I stopped trying to be that guy, the super successful, famous guy. I'd seen enough. I'd ate enough dinners with enough A and rs, and it had way too many overtly sexual propositions, and just been asked to do too many things that wasn't me, that I just wasn't prepared to do. And then I just started to follow my heart elsewhere, and I realized
that I still have a purpose for it. So I took it to just doing regular stuff, doing regular bar gigs, do charity events. You know, you do pediatric cancer gigs. You get to hold a little kid and sitting to a little kid, and that's fulfilling. And that was actually way better than trying to play for thousands of people and get a record deal, you know, so, and it was definitely beatsitting down in a studio somewhere being a
hired gun that actually just sucks. You never know when you're gonna get paid.
Me.
You know, you never know who you're going to touch, so it's a guessing game. And the only thing that got me there was following my intuition, my passion for it, and realizing that a million people could play guitar as well as I did and not care about the people on the receiving end as much as I did, and they might succeed for one reason or another. But I felt like I was going to succeed because I felt like I was doing what was morally right, Like I felt like I was doing what was right for other
people and not just myself. Even in my darkest times, that was my only guiding light, so to speak. So I'm saying that because I mean, you're a successful artist, you're a good actor. I've only seen the clips because everybody that listens to this podcast knows I don't watch TV, but I understand the magnitude. Criminal Minds has been around for a long time. Yeah, you know, it's a big deal to be on that the CW. It's a big deal to succeed like that, So it takes a lot
of heart and thank you. I just wanted to, you know, commend you for going through all of that and coming out on the other side, and maybe you went through all that crap and you know whatever they want to call it, Baby Jesus or whoever is giving you this opportunity to be in front of all of these faces so that you can share your message, share your story.
It'll change people, because it's like, yeah, it's like a once in a lifetime chance to just do the stuff that you've done and then live to talk about it, first of all, but then also be put in front of so many different faces to get interest in you, in you as a person, and share real helpful stuff with people, because there's a lot of empty vessels out there on TV that you know, you see them and you're like, yeah, this person has nothing to offer me as an actual person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you for saying. I have a lot of gratitude for what you just said. Was that's thank you. That's very nice. Yeah, thank You're welcome in that way. You're adding purpose to my sobriety in my life, and I I really I appreciate that.
Right. Well, that's what this show is all about. It's about bringing really interesting and as authentic as possible information to people so that they can do what they want with it, hopefully move on an arc that will change their lives. And I would definitely say you're doing that. Thank god Surge didn't get you.
I yeah, you know, and who knows where he is. I have no way of contacting him, but you know, I don't know. I mean, I would have almost considered him a friend except I couldn't. But I I definitely believe in the you know, don't worry, be happy, but do your best. And when my heart is in something, I do my best. And that if I can't do my best in something, my heart isn't in it. And that kind of tells me the direction that I'm heading in now. I've had to support my dreams through the years.
You know, I was a table server for years, way back in the day, you know. So it's like, sometimes I don't want to do that, but if I'm supporting the bigger thing where my heart is, then yes, I will do that. And I'm just saying that, you know, as a side note. You know, it wasn't It's not. This hasn't been easy. None of nothing in my life has been easy. In fact, again, I really appreciate what
you just said. It really warms my heart because honestly, now is when I feel like my life is really beginning.
Now. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying, man, because I know what it's like to give a guitar lesson for like twenty five dollars or whatever, and then you gotta buy a loaf of bread and get to your audition with that money, exactly. Yeah, and then you're walking down the highway thumbing it because you got to get home. You know, Like, I know exactly what that's like. And it's about the willingness to have that experience and not be like this is a punishment somehow because I
have to work hard for something. It's not a punishment.
No.
If you're again, if your heart is still in it, then that is the sign to keep going.
Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. And I mean like in my case, I I came out on the other side of addiction much easier than the average person. Sounds like I was just like, fuck this, this is stupid. Why am I being this stupid? And it was not a show. And I was getting really into psychology and wanting to go back to school to study it because I did it in university and stuff. But long story short, my psychology professor was a pedophile and he was sleeping with one
of the young girls in the class or something. He got kicked out and they never hired a replacement teacher. So we all just kind of ran around like crazy people for the rest of the semester. Wow wow, and just trying to wring our exams and whatnot. And I was like, yeah, I'm I'm a I'm going to do the music thing. This is crazy. So wow, you know, something came back around for me and I was like, I'm gonna take this opportunity because this feels now like the right direction
to going and maybe I can touch some people. And you know, here we are touching people, not inappropriately but not inappropriated. So I guess I don't know when I'll get to talk to you again. So I have to ask you, what was it like just getting on a popular role like and stuff like that. What was it like when that really hit home for you?
I mean, I don't know how many of your my generation do you close enough to my age? I mean, we all know who Angela Bassett is. I mean absolutely this younger generations obviously know from you know, Wakanda Forever, but its Angela Bassett. I mean, fucking in the nineties,
it was like Angela Bassett. So that particular experience was that was a trip because it was originally supposed to be one episode, but they liked what was happening so much that they turned it into that three episodes, and then they turned it into this whole arc and this whole villain arc. And when I first got the role, realizing that all my scenes were opposite her, there was one Okay, I was split in two one half scared the shit out of me.
I was about to say, she looks like a pretty intense person.
Scared. I was just like, this is like, I mean, there's so much money. This is you know, primetime network shows. There's a ton of ton of money. I mean, just as an example, there was one scene where it was like ten fire and they had to make a mock highway scenes. There's like ten fire engines, ten ambulances, one
hundred extras, two hundred crew. I mean, it was like an epic movie set and here here's me pulling up and the camera's following me navigating through all of that, and I'm not a series regular, So I'm not used to like this high pressure of this whole thing, and I'm just thinking the whole time, you know, be menacing, don't fuck up. But like, I mean, just like that anyway. So half of me was like scared shitlessen out of
my mind. The other half of me was like like holding on to like, oh my god, I get to go to to toe the Angela Bassett, like this is like, this is the dream, this is what it's about. Let's get in there, let's play, and you know, and when I met her, she was just as delightful as I hoped she would be. And it was all about the work, and it was like, let's get in there, let's do the work. I mean, she's the leader of the show, so like she was on to the next thing. She
had so much to work on. But I would say my goal walking into it knowing that I was going to just have to be more focused and more you know, more centered than probably I'd ever been in any acting role, just to you know, do my job. That I knew a lot of it was going to be. I don't want to say it was gonna suck. I don't want to say that, but you know, I'm not going to hide the fact that, like, you know, you're scared shitless the whole time. But my goal was to find is
to find some joy in there, some some fun. So fine, some fine, some fun in there, and then you know, after getting a few takes out proving that you can do the job and stuff, then the fun started coming in and so it was like I felt very successful. So I enjoyed. I enjoy the memories of that experience more than the actual because it's a really it's very different if you're a series regular, because everything is built to support you. I mean you, it doesn't matter what
you do. You are in the show. You were locked in versus like the guy coming in. Everything is working against you. You think you're about to do your big scene with your big monologue. Oops, nope, we're not filming that. Actually no, we just cut that. We added this. Can you memorize this in an hour? Like everything's against you. So it's just like you're bracing for impact and just it is like acting school, just trying to show up
for a show up for it. So I wanted to give you like, oh my god, it's like dream come true, which it is, And I'm grateful. But in reality, you know, if I when I book, you know they could bring me back because my character didn't die, it will be a very different experience because I was pushing up the on the edge of my capabilities, which is always uncomfortable. Creates anxiety, but it's good anxiety. There is good anxiety. So that now and I was very present, I owned
the whole experience. I feel like I owned it, meaning like I was just I was kind and patient and loving to myself to the whole thing. Then now when they call me back, it'll be very different experience on set, Like I feel more. This is how you build confidence, and for me, this is how I build confidence. It was like I was very present for that last experience. I proved to myself I could do it, and I could do it with a little bit of joy. This time, I'm gonna have a little bit more joy and a
little bit more fun. Let's go and then build the confidence and build it and then build it, and then suddenly you're Hugh Jackman, who you know can do anything. That's why they seem so calm and comfortable. Celebrities or you know, everybody we admire stuff just because they just built the experiences, and some of them have just built more steps than I have at this point. But I'm always pushing my threshold, so I'm always like, ill that
creative anxiety. Did that answer your question? I mean I probably did.
It did. What's interesting is, so I haven't seen the Husband's show.
Oh you can find that on YouTube now. It was that was that was such a good show and it was breaking records online and it was a newly wet SITCOMBA with two guys. And this was still early twenty ten, so it wasn't There wasn't gay leads on shows yet. I mean, there was like the new normal, but.
That wasn't like the L word or something, you know, like.
We're specifically like for a gay niche. We were trying to do a mainstream gay like Will and like another version of like a Will and Grace, and it was. It was a hit, and CW made it their flagship show for their new online thing, and then they were about to move it and make it their flagship show for their actual network. But such as Hollywood, it just I'm not a producer on the show, so I don't know the truth of what happened, but it just disappeared one day. I don't know who got in a fight
with who. I don't know what happened, And that was that's part of the upsets, Like, I mean, they were like, get ready, Sean, You're about to be a big TV comedy star. Get ready and then gone. I mean I quit acting.
For a year.
I was like, fuck this. It was so depressed. But anyway, you can watch it on YouTube. The stuff we did, we made online. It's still very entertaining.
M m okay, yeah, I'm just curious about that because you know, there's so many CW shows that have come and gone.
I mean, they're not very good. I'm so sorry. I have friends that did a bunch of those shows, but they're not meant to be. They're not They're not HBO Max, They're not that. I will say Ours. You know, Ours was you know the the director you know was a producer on Will and Grace and Friends. And you know the writer, Jane Espenson. She started on Buffy. You probably know where. She did a couple episodes of Game of Thrones.
What's that other sci fi? She has a lot of sci fi things, Battlestar Galactica and then some comedy sit coms in there, and so like we had like an a team. It was good stuff.
Okay, I think interesting, very interesting. They seem to do better with their superhero stuff for one reason or another.
But yeah, yeah, yeah, they realized this, this is working, whatever Greg's doing over here, So let's just let's just corner that. And that's what they did for a long uh, superheroes and vampires. That was their corner.
Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, all right, So what are your plans moving forward? What are you going to do with your career? Are you going to write more books? Tell me about that real quick.
Sure, Well, the plan right now is to get that darn publication date so that I can give that to you and be like here's the here's the date it's coming out, and here's your copy of the book. Also working on the screenplay of that as well. So that's that's there. That is moving forward. I have a bunch of other screenplays and you know TV pilot pitches that I'll say for another conversation, but those are always working.
And then it's auditioning. It's just auditioning, auditioning, auditioning, and it's it's the industry is constantly changing as they say, especially after the strike and after you know, the pandemic and stuff like that. So it's just it's just trying to get more opportunities. It's just trying to hustle out there. Like I told you when we signed on, I just came from came from an others and that's just the way it goes. So I know where I want to go. And of course I want to be a serious regular.
Of course I want to work on Broadway. Of course, I want to you know, work you know, whatever feature film. Of course we do. But just as we already kind of said, there's I can show up, do my best, my best version of that character, you know, try to be the nicest, try to be a person they want to work with and be friends with for the next six months of filming, a likable human or something. But that's the most I can do. If they don't, you know, their vision of how this character is is I don't
match it, then I don't match it. Besides, I don't want to be something that they I don't. I want to be something that my heart'sn't like, a character that like, yeah, I love this character, like I want to be hired for that versus like trying to be what they want. My heart's not really in it. It's just makes it a slog. It doesn't make it fun. Yeah, so I don't know, asked the universe.
Yeah, I guess it would suck too if you were like one of these actors that kind of gets cast in a particular role all the time, because then you just kind of becomes that guy.
You know.
Hey, you know what, that guy has no problem being a cog in the wheel, uh, you know, in the machine of things and is happy getting that paycheck, like you know what. You know, back when I was serving tables, I would have been happy to do that. Are you kidding? Yeah?
You know all right?
Gold golden, golden handcuffs. You know it's like.
Anyway, Yeah, I get what you're saying. So tell everybody where they can find you.
Most everything I announce or drop or talk about is on my Instagram at sean Hemian and uh and or my website sean Hemian dot com. I post them both there. You'll see a lot of my art these days. I've been a painter for over ten years. That's also what I've been doing with my time, abstract expressionist work. It's just I love it so much. It's just my other
thing that I've done for myself for so long. But now in the last five years have been really putting out shows and you know you'll see it's all there.
Gotcha? All right? Well, Sean, thanks for being on the Boneless Authenticity Podcast.
Thank you so much for having me. This was such a pleasure.
You're welcome.
So you're listening to the Boundless Authenticity Podcast where we discuss everything related to the evolution of human consciousness.
That's very least to understand that the United States builds bonkers which are based in cities on your every three months.
Basically in your dream, you tuck into your self conscious it is your.
Lot in solution or creativity.
And imagination unchanged from conscious reason ego and locate all.
Of your large quote for her the soul by how there are consciousness spect cultures of the gum for you of agriny.
We live in a multi dimensional reality, whether it comes through esetary information in the spiritual realms or the UFO people experiences, or mainstream through on the physics and through natreum science. Now realizing that parallel dimensions probably exists, we're all spiritual.
Means we're all having these human experiences. We've heard that place over and over and over, but what does that really mean? You know, all of the questions of life, we have these answers inside of our soul. We're ultimately studying the nature of what it is to be human, good and evil, our psychology, how we fitink, our health.
That's why I love Bruce Lee's great quote all knowledge is ultimately self knowledge.