No Stranger To Loss with Dave Roberts

the USA. Dave also co presented a workshop titled Helping Faculty after Traumatic Loss for the Parkland, Florida community in May of twenty eighteen, in the aftermath of the mass shootings at Stoneman.

was published on March first, twenty twenty one. So I'm going to start today's podcast with a quote that I found on Dave's website and it goes like this sorrow makes us all children again, destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Dave, how's it going.

I graduated from Mutich University in nineteen seventy seven, had a couple of different jobs, and then found my calling in the addictions field. In nineteen eighty six, I was hired at the McPike Addiction Treatment Center, a state run facility in Utica, New York. I was there for twenty seven years, and I retired in twenty twelve, about sixteen, about seventeen years into my career as an addictions professional.

I was hired as an adjunct at the time at adjunct lucture of Yutika University, and I'm now an adjunct professor and I've been there for twenty one years. But in between all of that came. So I'm very, you know, very dark times in my life. And I want to give Johan you and your listeners three specific dates that are sort of the center centerpiece of my story and how I've embraced the path that I'm on, and also to to show you how life can kind of just

turn out a dime. May second, my daughter, Janine's first and only daughter, Brianna, was born May second, two thousand and two. Brian is now twenty two years old and she has two children of her own, so I am now a great grandfather. On May nineteenth, a twenty five year journey to obtain my master's and social work degree ended when I officially got conferred my degree on May nineteenth, two thousand and two, from the State University of York in Abany. And on May twenty sixth my daughter was

diagnosed with a malignant tumor. Malignant tumor and foot cancer's tumor in her foot. That diagnosis was confirmed June second by the Data Farber Research Hospital, Research Center and Hospital in Boston, where I was told that she had a rare form of cancer called a velia rabdomiosarcoma, which was a connective muscle tissue cancer, that the primary site was her right foot that she had injured in a freak action during pregnancy. Traditional interventions to deal with the swollen

foot did not work. Every one of us and our family thought that it was her swalt foot was simply some complications from pregnancy, but it turned out that that injury activated some dormant cancer cells and pregnancy massed to diagnosis and she was diagnosed with a stage four tumor. We were told in Boston that with bone marrow, lipno involvement,

and we were told that her cancer was incurable. That the only cure we were going to have, or chances we're going to have for a cure, is if her cancer is put into remission until a cure could be found. So what my herd and my daughter heard, and I think in her significant other and my wife, Sherry heard was that unless there's a miracle, your daughter's going to die.

So I went from the exhilaration of being your grandfather, to the contentment of attaining an educational goal twenty five years in the making, to now being an unwitting participant and a caregiver to a daughter who was now terminally ill and an all likelihood was going to die. And ten months after she was diagnosed, even after six rounds of chemotherapy, which did not put her cancer in total remission, she died, or as I now call it, transition from

the physical world to the spiritual world. And that sent me off on a path that at all that, all the training in the world, all the therapy that I did with clients who had their own trauma is due to addiction and not due to addiction, none of that began to even prepare me for the path that I was about to walk. I was a forty seven year old man who is now living in a world that was totally alien and very terrifying, you know, trying to think moving forward, how am I going to live in a

world where my only daughter is now at present? And I do have two other other sons, one older than my daughter, Jeanine, and one younger, and I'm both very very proud of them. They're great kids, they're great young men. They've got their own families, they've got their own careers, and they've been very successful in their own right. But my world stopped. My world stopped when my daughter transitioned. So that kind of gives you and the listeners some additional context to what's going on.

my whole perspective shifted. Every time now that I saw a parent, I brought about a parent a paper's child had died. The amount of empathy and compare ashion and shared pain that I had for a person that I did not even know, but yeah, we were bound together

by the unthinkable changed. And I think one of the things that's happened over the twenty one years is that my compassion has grown not only the people that I know, not only to my students or to other people that are in my life, but to people that I don't even know who've experienced life altering loss, and particularly that involving the death of a child. Because I can say I know what it's like. Unfortunately I can say I know what it's like.

stress of grief. You know, you talk about release a cortisol, which is a stress hormone, and inability to sleep probably six months after the death of a child, disorientation, disorganization, confusion, obsessive rumination, which is playing over over and over the last day of that person's life, regardless of cause of death. And it isn't obsessive. Rumination isn't indicative of a mental illness. It's our mind, it's our bodies and our soul's desire

to make sense out of what happened. So we replay that story over and over and over again until we can come to terms with it and accept what has happened. Acceptance does not mean closure. Acceptance means that I can accept that I am now living in a world where my loved ones are not physically present. But I am committed to service. I am committed to re engaging in

life with purpose, with passion in spite of what's happened. Socially, relationships change, and I tell people expect that they're going to change. The people that you thought were going to step up, don't step up. The people that you never expected to step up do step up. But when a lot of times in early grief and then I can

speak for myself, and I've also talked to others. When we ruminate over are the people that aren't there when we should be, When we need to be grateful for the people that are many individuals I have discovered did not know how to how to handle my grief. They did not know how to approach me. They were afraid that if they mentioned my daughter's name, you know, they were going to upset me. Little did they know that I was already upset and mentioning her name would have

been of great comfort to me. And there are other things. Physically, we are under a tremendous amount of stress, particularly within that first twenty four hours to a week, where we're susceptible to heart attack, We're susceptible to stroke, you know, just you know, just because of the elevated levels of stress, but we're particularly susceptible within that time period. So and those those those conditions, those characteristics of grief will happen

with every loss. Just because I've come to it, to accept and come to peace with the terms of my dog, my daughter's loss doesn't mean that I can take that bank that and automatically apply that on any other losses that I have and will experience. I need to go through. I will go through that same process with each and every loss. And it's a process that needs to be gone through. It's a process that needs to be expected, and more so it's a process that needs to be honored.

wedding of another setbling in that family. So what I encourage individuals to do is one prepare for that, understand that the obsessive rumination is going to probably become more talent.

And it's at that moment that to find some support with individuals who are willing to hear where you're at, to hear your particularly particular story, which is going to continue to evolve each year that you grieve, and it is going to be willing the hold space for whatever you need to you need to talk about and you need to come to terms with, particularly in that the last moments or the last day of that person's life.

So it's about finding support. I think it's also about trying to read as much literature as you can on grief and memoirs of individuals who have experienced the same type of loss to find out what they did to get through at how they handled the obsessive rumination, how they handled the anticipation leading up to specific milestone dates. I found all of that to be specifically helpful for me, as well as finding a really good support group that could align with the specific loss that I had.

began that we would start out with denial. What's progressed to anger, with progress to bargain, and all of this would go in a linear fashion for a six month to one year period of time, which after that time we would bury our grief in a little box, put it aside, and move on as if nothing has happened. The reality is that grief is very circular. The row pain of grief can come up at any time, depending on what's going on at that particular moment. I'll give

you an example in my own journey. Janine was eighteen years old when she transitioned. In the seventeenth year of her physical absence, I was beginning to experience grief as if it was like day one. I couldn't you know. I was having some physical pain. I was lethargic, I was irritated. And then as I sat back and ref and I also talked to another fellow travel around on a path that we never thought we'd be embracing, she said,

you know, you're coming up on the eighteenth year. That means your daughter will have been in spirit as long as she was alive. And that was a milestone that a lot of veteran grievers have gone through. And I hadn't understood that until I experienced that. So that's the example of circularity. It just come up at any time. It's something. As I've gotten older in grief, I've learned to expect. I've learned to look at that as just another part of the deal. And you know, that's uh,

that that's so that's one of the that's again. So that's one of the misconceptions grief is. Grief is not linear.

It's very circular. The other thing is, you know, the other misconceptions I think about grief is that we are going to upset those individuals if we bring up that person's loved one, you know, and in reality, where it's the greatest gift when you've remembered and you want to talk about that loved one and you acknowledge their presence, you acknowledge that they have lived, that's the greatest gift

to somebody. And the the other thing with then we're going to get to some gender specific stuff with with men and with women. The other conception is that men don't feel their grief. What is true is that men feel grief. Most men feel grief. We just deal with grief differently. We feel feelings as intensely as our female counterparts. We're just can We've just been conditioned to deal with it differently. Women it's been reinforced. And it's that they

can emote, they can seek support. Men have a great deal of difficulty seeking and directly emoting their their emotions. But what men tend to do is work through their emotions. They tend to be active with that. If we're feeling we're feeling upset, we distract ourselves from our emotions through doing activity. And the misconception is that men men don't have feelings like we do. We just we just express those,

we just deal with them differently. And I think what I've told women in the past who have asked me, why is them I mean can't express emotions well? Expressing emotions for men have with it some great risks, the risk of vulnerability, the risk of being seen is weak. And this is not for all men. Maybe seventy five percent of the cases you might you might find this.

But and the other thing is with men is that you know that men are do not like it when they're Women in their lives cry okay, there was a woman's tears represent symbolically what a man couldn't do, and that was protect their family. Every Time I saw my wife crying, every time I saw my two sons in despair, it reminded me that at that time I failed as my job as a father's and I couldn't protect my daughter.

I couldn't protect my family from what had happened, and that was there was a tremendous burden for me to carry until I with the help with the help of a lot of very supportive individuals, I realized that I had no control over a disease that was incurable. I had the illusion of control that I didn't have control, and I was realizing that I did the best that I could given the circumstances that were dealt to me, and given the hand the cards that were dealt to me.

And the other thing is that you know, with all the questions I asked in the world, it was very simply in Sacred Law was my daughter's time to go?

Years was enough for her soul to to learn the lessons that you needed to learn in her physical body and then go after a new existence and the human lae eighteen law Eighteen years wasn't enough, and it took me quite a while until I met Reverend Patty Farino, it took me quite a while to know the difference between human law and sacred law as it relates to an individual, to individual's death, and the answers are questions surrounding that.

the progress that you've made. And even you know, even if you take two steps forward to one step back, or just still one step back, and you still make progress, but celebrate the progress that you've made. Journaling in a written record of that or an audio record of that that you can listen to or or read can be

very powerful. The second thing, even in kind of the worst days of our lives, there's usually something good that will happen to us, and I can encourage individuals to try to keep a gratitude journal in terms of just you know, just write down one thing a day that happened that you could be grateful for. So that's the other part of the other thing is support support in a community that will will uplift to you, that will

validate your grief. So, for example, if it's an individual who has lost a husband or a wife, espousal support group would be ideal, or even a general grief support group with a variety of different losses could work. Death of a child, I would find a parent support group, either through the Compassionate Friends with the Brief Parents of the USA or through your local community. A lot of

times funeral homes will sponsor those types of meetings. Read as much as you can, as much as you're capable of. The Open to Hope Foundation has some very good brief five hundred to one thousand word articles that for individuals and early grief that may be all they can process. The ability to concentrate increases, they can begin to read more and more specifically memoirs of individuals who have transcended grief or other challenges. The other thing that I have

I have found very helpful. And again this is what the assistance of you know, the conversations I had with you know, Reverend Patty far Reno was transforming the relationship with my daughter by forming continuing bonds with her. The best parts of who my daughter are now integrated into who I am. So when you get me, you're going to give me and you're going to get my daughter as well too. We have become a packaged deal. And

symbolically I've integrated my grief. I have carried my grief and I've carried her with me, and that has that has given me, That has given me peace. And don't get me wrong, there are days that I yearned for her physical presence, but those yearnings are temporary. I also understand that that's part of my permanent existence now. I happiness, joy sadness, confus usual, anger, all of that are going to be a part of my existence, and in reality, it's a part of all of our existence, regardless of

whether we've experienced laws or not. I don't know if I think I may have told you this in other and other conversations we've had. I don't hang around with happy people anymore. And I would encourage individuals in grief to hang around with genuine people, people who are going to be receptive to When they ask you how you're doing and you tell them, boy, today really sucks, they're

going to sit and create space for that. And I also tell individuals don't ask a grieving person how they're doing unless you're prepared to spend some time with them, because they may need to talk. And this isn't just going to be like a you know, courtesy social great, Yeah I'm doing great. They may not be doing great, and you just can't say, well, i'll see you later. You know you're going to You need to be prepared to hold space for that. If you're not, don't ask

the question. The other thing is don't be afraid or fearful of painful emotions. We're meant to experience those emotions. Embrace it to the extent that you can learn from it. Learn that you can survive it, Learn that maybe in need your worst amount of worst moments of sadness, the

most compassionate person could could have emerged from that. So try to take a look at the positives in the negatives as well too, especially once you've distanced yourself from that, and expect that the worst loss that you've ever had in your life isn't going to be the only loss that you're going to have. They'll be as long as we live, we're going to experience loss. I'm sixty nine years old now, and just because I mean, the worst

loss I've experienced in my life is obviously Janine. However, I've experienced other losses as well too that have been traumatic for me as well. Expect that loss is going to be a part of life, and that our ability to lead a quality life is how we handle the challenges that are presented to us, and loss is going to be as much a part of our life as life itself.

They don't know how to deal with their issues, and so they're trying to love and light away or refra aim everything that happens without actually taking a good, deep, genuinely honest look at what that could mean for them and what they need to do about it, who they could become all those things.

But I don't know anybody that's happy twenty four hours a day, seven days a week in lesser and total denial about the rest of their emotional experience, or they've so bought into this narrative that, jeez, I can't have negative emotions in my life because it's going to interfere with productivity, which is why individuals get upset if people are grieving six months to a year, because you're interfering with that whole productivity narrative. You've got to get better.

I can't deal with that. But here's the thing. Second year is worse in many cases than the first year of grief. So you can throw that linear, you know, projection of grief right out the window because the second year for me, once one year and one day hit for me, the reality of the fact that my daughter was never coming back hit me. The first year, I was thinking, ah, you know, she was going to peer down from from heaven and just say, hey, Dad, just kidding.

You know, this was I just took a vacation, or that God or whoever was in charge of the universe at the time, was going to come down and say, we're going to give your life back. We made a mistake. We're going to give you your life back the way the way you knew it. But that never happened, and it wasn't going to happen. But yet that first year, we kind of are in that between shock and surreal mode where we're thinking that, well, maybe this was all a dream. But then when you hit that second year,

you realize that this is reality now. So but I mean for me, I mean Debbie Ford wrote a book called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, and she took off with Carl Jung's work with the shadow element. Carl Young said, the shadow was a person that you don't want to be. That's I'm paraphrasing that. But she also talked about something very profound, saying that we are

the microcosm of the macrocosm. We contain every emotion, good and bad that's known everybody in the universe, and then that we can be in service to each other, and that a lot of times we don't want to what we see in others is things we don't want to say in ourselves. But in order to develop genuineness, we need to be able to embrace that dark side, so to speak. We need to be able to make peace with it, to make friends with it, to allow us to teach us about ourselves and allow us to become

whole and genuine. I think Nietzsche Frederic Nietzsche has said something to the effect that if you deny your past, you're denying your existence. And a lot of the negative qualities that people don't want us to see are based on a lot of it is based on decisions we've made in our past, and our past basically is our teacher anyway. So to disown the past means that we're disowning a part of our existence that we can learn from.

And for me Jahan with the and for anybody with life altering lass, I had to look at everything, all of my beliefs, all of my attitudes, all of my priorities I had to tell and I take all that involved me taking a deep, dark look at my past and you know, letting the past be my teacher and just saying okay, based on the life that I've lived. At the age of forty seven, when my daughter transitioned, what beliefs do I want to stay, Which beliefs do I want to expand? Which beliefs no longer serve me?

So I went through kind of a death of a different sorts of death of those parts of me that no longer served me in my new reality going forward.

We didn't give them the option to go to calling hours. We mistakenly thought we were shielding them. So one, don't shield your kids. Give them an opportunity to participate in a funeral to the extent that they want to. Maybe they want to make a car to put in the casket, or maybe they want to participate in picking out pictures or other memorabilia for a memory board, either digital or

you know, just a quirkboard type of thing. Given the opportunity, if they say no, that's okay, that you've given them the option. The other thing is, don't use youthh in hissms with especially with the younger children. If you tell the younger children that grandpa went away, literally they're going to ask you one is they coming back? Or grandpa is sleeping. They may be afraid to go to sleep because they feel if he's sleeping, he's not waking up.

They're not going to wake up. So, and there's a lot of good age appropriate books out there to teach children about what happens when when the body dies and and you know, the soul goes to heaven or you know, whatever there's a there's a lot of good belief, you know, good age appropriate books that can introduce children to death.

And I think for parents, I think if they can model healthy grieving for their children, and eventually children at a young age, their sensorymoter, you know, you're two or six, they tend to imitate what their parents they do. So if their parents are imitating healthy coping mechanisms or grief, whether it's you know, showing their emotions freely reaching out for support, one, it's going to be I think of stabilizing influence for that child. And it's also going to

model this is what we do during crisis. Also allow children to be as creative as they want. Kids will be creative through play, they'll talk, they'll to plate therapy, they'll they'll talk about different transitions that are going on in their house. For older children or adolescents who are creative, music, poetry, you know, any any type of you know, poetry, literature, music that they're into can also be a vehicle for them expressing their emotions. Don't light to children, don't lie

especially you know about it. Just be as upfront with them as possible as you know. And if you don't if there's there's an information about a death that requires that is kind of ongoing where you know, I think particularly in mass shootings, where information is always, you know, always, you know, evolving, You tell individuals what they need to know. With the president, you tell them what you don't know, and you tell them that as soon as we get updates,

we'll let you know. Being honest, Also normalizing the grief process, that crying is okay. That yeah, if you're if you're having mood swings, it's normal. If you're feeling fatigued, it's normal. If you're constantly thinking about the person you've lost, that's normal.

So between normalization creating an open space for honest discussion and not shielding children, giving them the option to participate in the funeral process as much as they wish to, or if not at all, at least give them that option and find a age appropriate ways to to help them front dot and the realization.

out across the family have dealt with things. And one of the most interesting ones is that one of the little ones, she's only two years old, and she tells her mother she goes to the bedroom at night because she's going to play with pap before she goes to bed, and so it kind of bothered them, but it didn't. It didn't bother me or my partner hearing that.

that age aren't capable of lying anyway. There's another instance where I was working with a parent whose son died in a in a home accident and his younger brother that he left behind. She'd be in he'd be in the corner talking and so she'd say, well, who are you talking to? I'm talking to my brother and he has a message for you. So this is quite common. I mean, you know kids, I mean, obviously they do imaginary play, but this is not a manage play. This

is a very specific conversation. I'm talking to Papa, I'm talking to Grandpa, I'm talking to grandma. This is very specific. This goes beyond imaginary play. Kids can also have shared death expirit can participate and share death experiences to an extent as well too. And and how this might happen.

And I had another instance where one of my former students her niece, their niece's uncle passed away and the police came to I think her parents' store, yet his parents' store, and she was there to say that, you know, and she looked up and said, is this about Uncle Brian who she knew? Uncle who she knew. He died before the rest of the family doing before the police

communicated that. So what I think had happened is he left his spirit, He left his body, came to comforter and said, I'm always going to be with you, and took off to the to the other side. On share death experiences, you know what near death experiences will. People will leave their bodies, they'll go to another dimension, which

is the afterlife. They learn what they're supposed to learn, and then they're put back in their bodies to complete their life mission and share death experiences where the bystanders sharing sharing that experience where they actually see the spirit leave the body, where they actually can sometimes even accompany the spirit of their deceased loved ones to that just to the entrance of that dark tunnel which immediately turns

into light, so they can actually participate in that. It's got the same features as the near death experience, but the bystanders have an opportunity to participate in that. This young girl probably had a witness saw her the spirit of her uncle who had left his body. She came to comforter, and then he went off into we went

off into another dimension. And so when kids, especially between the ages of three seven, talk about these kinds of things, they're very specific interactions that they've had to go beyond imaginary play.

And a lot of times what happens, and this is a pet peeve of mind, is that the sadness of grief automatically gets will soon get well, very soon after that person's transitioned or died or passed away, get diagnosis depression, and they're put on some type of SSRI is all off or you prosact, when really what is needed is just for them to work through the sadness of their grief through support through other means. Now, it's not to say that grief can't turn into the sadness of grief

can't turn into depression. There's a couple of different instances where I think it can. One instances of complicated grief where you know, I mean, all death is traumatic, but traumatic death may be due to suicide, homicide, mass shootings. If there is no movement from the raw pain of grief to eventually making a decision to re engage in life with meeting and purpose in spite of what's happened, and that person stays stuck in the muck of grief,

that sadness can definitely turn into depression. If an individual has had a prior diagnosis of clinical depression or anxiety, then mental health practitioners or coaches need to be mindful of reminding them to do to utilize the coping strategies that they've used to deal with their mental health and continue to do that, maybe continue to seek out additional support and augment that with additional support resources that can

help them through grief. The other thing with anxiety, you know, panic and fear is a normal emotional reaction, particularly the panic of losing more. If you're talking about a fear of losing more. If you're talking about a parent who's like myself, has experienced the death of a child, first thing that closes our mind is that it can happen again.

Because that safety net, that illusion of safety and predictability was now shattered and the reality is that this happened to me once, This can happen to me twice, It

can happen to me three times. So that in and of itself that fear, we can either do one two days that fear can paralyze us, or we could channel that fear productively to say that for our ever long I have in my life, regardless of what happens, I'm going to lead with each day of my life to its fullest and be the best person that I can possibly be to myself, to my family, and to those who need support for me. But a lot of times we path of you know, we uh, you know, we

we put a pathological label on grief. As I think the d s M five R now has something that if the symptoms of grief don't subside after two weeks, then it's, you know, we go to clinical depression, which to me is a bunch of hogwash, because again, when you take a look at even even cooble Rosa's stages of grief, even society gave individuals six months to a year.

The d s M four is going to give you two weeks and then you know, well, the diagnosed with clinical depression puts you on medication, and that could be the worst thing is to medicate grief because a lot of times they can deaden the feeling of grief and we need to feel it to go through it.

That takes grief to a whole new level. It's losing a grandparent, which has its own set of grief that goes with it, and also losing somebody they have seen as a parent also has its own set of grief and we need to honor that. We need to as practitioners,

find out what the what the relationship was. You can have two non biological friends that see each other as brothers and sisters from different mothers, and if one of them them die, they're going to look at that as not losing just a friend, but an adoptive family member. And those the depth of those relationships need to be honored. Death of a pet a lot of times it becomes disenfranchised grief or grief that is an honored because a lot of people say, it's just a dog, it's just

a cat. You can you can get another animal. Well, for individuals, couples, you know, whether they're headinormative couples, same sex couples. If they're they're not going to have any kids or adopt any kids, their pets become part of their family. Their pets become as if they're their children.

Then they're objectified as their children. So it has they lose that they lose a pet, they've lost They've they've lost a member, not only member of their family, but one who they've been uniquely bonded to and will consider to be not only a member of their family, one

of their children. The other thing, if they're a service animal or an emotional support animal, the individual has now lost a part of their autonomy, a part of their independence, a part of their emotional comfort zone that can't be replaced. So I mean I've transitioned. I've lost seven pets into my life, Johann and every one of them have had significance for me, particularly my daughter's cat, Bootsy, who was

after Jeanine transitioned. He would get me up at four point thirty in the morning, whether I wanted to or not, just to get me moving, and he showed me love, you know, when I had trouble loving myself. So that cat as my granddaughter, who by the way, heard her significant other who lived with us for four years after Jeanine transition. They had moved into us when she moved into our house when they she got sick. But as Brianna got my wife Sherry moving, Bootsy got me moving

when he transitioned. It was a very traumatic time for me. Animals are, I think, are some of our greatest teachers. If you take a look at the Native American teachings of animals in nature, they consider animals to be revered. Animals were here long before we were. They consider their spirits to be precious, to be honored and to be and that they have a lot to teach us, and animals can teach us more about humanity than sometimes humans can. So so honor pet loss as you would any other loss.

It's significant to the individuals going through It holds space for that share hold stories for it.

rescue cat that I inherited from my son. My oldest son was a cad who just showed me, you know, maybe would make me laugh out loud, and that part of me had had died a little bit after Jeanine passed, but he would she would just do like really, you know, fun stuff, fun things, and just make me laugh and bring joy in my life. So but yeah, pat loss can be disenfranchised, but don't let it be honored and treated as any his loss, as any significant as human loss.

control is simply just an illusion. The only control we have is the control of our how we react to things, how we treat ourselves, how we treat our loved ones, and how we choose to transcend challenge. Show grace to yourself, Be gentle with yourself, don't hesitate to ask for help and support. And I will leave you with a quote from one of my favorite musicians and drummers of all time, Neil Peart. This is from his book Ghostwriter Travels on

the Healing Road. We are all islands to each other, building hopeful bridges and the trouble seas, and so let's be islands to each other during time of challenge, and let's build those bridges between us so we can we can help each other through challenging times.

other reviews that were not on Amazon. For the book and a way to purchase the book and for those who want to know more about my continued transformation from grief. This book lays it all out say there's nothing you

won't know about me in this book. It's very I'm very transparent with my journey, transparent with the conversations I had with with Reverend Farino and how she was instrumental in helping me integrate both spirituality and psychology to cre gain a better understanding of myself in the world, and how she taught me how to transform the relationship with my daughter too, so I have an ongoing relationship with

her in spirit. So that's how you can get in touch with me, and also if you wanted one one thing. If you want to, you want to listen to the Teaching Journeys podcast. Our episode with me and johann will be coming out very soon. You can you can find it at any any major you know podcast platform, Apple, Spotify, so feel free to check it out. And I also have a youth We also have it on YouTube as well too, so so that's how you can find me, find out what I'm doing, and connect with me.

emotional consequences and circumstances. I teach you various ways to change internal dialogue, clear harsh memories and emotions, and delete useless information from the subconscious. I also teach when to meditate, how to meditate, and why you have certain thoughts and feelings during meditation and how to handle them effectively. If you or someone you know are struggling with self sabotaging behaviors and harsh emotional consequences, please do contact me at

self Sabotage Info at proton dot me. You're listening to the Boundless Authenticity podcast where we discuss everything related to the evolution of human consciousness that's very.