Bottled Up Bitches is hosted by a horny, married couple. Content may include adult language and themes. Check the description for more details. If your discretion is advised. Its season four. Welcome to Bottle Deup Bitches, your favorite sex podcast hosted by a horny married couple with me Rihanna Campbell and me producer Man Adam. Sex shouldn't be taboo or embarrassing, so let's talk about it. Say ah ah, come my lady, Come, come my lady.
Sugar bye b Hi Adam, Hi, Rihanna, Welcome back to another episode of Bottle Up Bitches, your favorite sex podcast with me, Rihanna and me producer Man Adam. Oh my gosh, are you ready for this? I'm yeah, I am. I've got so much. Oh, I didn't get my notebook book. Welcome back. So if you don't know already, every season we do an episode based on the three hundred and sixty five Days UM franchise. You can watch it on Netflix. It's the Next three hundred and
sixty five Days, Part three. This is the trilogy. This is the last one. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back to season. So. Yeah, So I was going to say to listen to the reaction to the first movie, the season three for the second movie, now one season four US is the third movie. Correct. So yeah, if you if you haven't seen any of the three hundred and sixty five day movies and you don't want them spoiled, go stop here because this is officially
a spoil zone. Also go Also, if you haven't listen to the first two up two movies, go listen to those. Okay, I'm gonna give a brief recap of the series from what I remember. Okay, you're ready, you're ready for this? Yeah, we have Massimo. Give me a full character. Who is Massimo? Is his motivation? Massimo, after his father is assassinated, becomes the head of a mom of an Italian Sicilian crime
family. Yes. And one day he's just walking down the streets, sees a woman and he goes, oh, I'm now obsessed with her, kidnaps her. Yeah, and says, you have one year I am going you're going to live. You have free reign of my estate, but you have to stay here. Yeah, he stockholms her. Yes, and if in one year, if you're not in love with me, you can leave. She falls in love with him. Didn't they get married? Well, she falls in love with him, and then the first the first movie ends with
her going driving into a tunnel her well, she's pregnant. She finds out she's pregnant. She is one of Massimo's guys is driving her to a tunnel. She's now no longer kidnaps, she's now Stockholm syndrome. Done kind of like you know, his lover. They go into the tunnel, explosion comes out of the tunnel. Movie. Second movie starts up, it's their wedding. Jay addressed the accident at all. Second movie starts on their wedding day. We never respond to the to They're like, they're like, I'm so
glad everything's okay after the accident. And they never explain if her car blew up, Oh so sorry, if it was a different car that blew up. Um, is it an explosion gone wrong? Who was behind the explosion. We don't have any motive. We just know there was an explosion that she was part of. She lost the baby. Yeah. Um. Then then the second movie, Um, I'll take over a little bit here. Okay, second movie happens, They get married, They have some sex on
the golf course, as well. Nothing is off limits. Oh and we should say these for people who don't know what these are smart movies. There's smart movies. They are essentially the polish fifty Shades are Gray. Well do you say that loosely? We don't mean that they're like they're based on or anything. It's just that they're like erotic movie, mainstream movie. It's based on a series, a book series, a smutty book series, and they
turn them in a movie. It is it's not like based on it has no connection, but it is fifty shades of gray, but polish more. Let's way more erotic. I agree, you can see Bush, but it's their version of it. Kind of like it's that it's not their version. It's just smut. They're both smut. Yeah, but it's they're pretty like
they're not based on anything the same. I'm not saying that, but like it's a book series that was turned into a movie, like a series of actual that's like seeing Twilight is it's like Harry Potter because they're based on books. Yeah. Anyway, so the second one happens, and um, good life sex things are happening, fun, fun in the sun. He buys her like a business and and then she goes into a room and sees Masumo
having sex with another woman. Lada is Lauda, Lauda is our is our woman, and she's like, I you know, she's been cheated on. So goes and then she runs off with the gardener. He's hot and is like, maybe you want to live Nacho. Na names Nacho like the chip and the wrestler. Yes and so. But then we come to find out that she didn't see Masimo cheating on her. She saw Nacho's evil two E twin, Macho's evil he brother, I'm Macho. But and then shoot out.
She gets shot, A bunch of people get shot, and before y'all come in many comments. I know what I did was a whole Cogan comment, but that's just what came to mind. So she finds out that it wasn't him, It was his evil brother who's like evil and has a coke problem and goes a lot crazy. He's crazy, whispers in a high pitched voice, because it's the same actor being a different twin, and it's correct, very funny. But a shootout happens. At the end, Laura gets
shot. You think she died, and the second movie and his twin brother dies. Yes, you've missed. A big part of that is that Nacho was part of the whole making. It was part of the whole scheme of making her pair. His dad is in charge of the rival cartel. Yeah, um, Boston situation. Um. So third movie starts. Laura's unhappy with life and everyone. She's pretty miserable. She has sex. Hold on, now we're gonna we're at the third movie so we can talk about it.
Yeah, um yeah, So I'm just gonna blitz there, really worry. You're just gonna kind of power through it. And I think you thought there was a fourth movie that we watched today. Um so yeah. So that's so, that's how the second one everything. That's how the second one ends. Twin brother reveal. A lot of gets shot, there's a shootout, a lot of gets shot, Nacho runs away and then mass and I was just standing over her dying body. Right, Um we cut to the
new movie to find her life. Yeah, she's just well, well, the movie starts off at they're at a they're at a cemetery, and it's trying to play off as though she died. She died, but they're really there for the brother. They were there for the brother, the twin brother. Yeah. Um, so she's alive. She's naked in bed, you know, at like always like Laura be naked in bed. Yeah, and they look like they're gonna have sex and he's like, no, the doctor
said it was too soon. But she has zero bandages, zero scars, been a while, yeah, and she killed up. And they also put a raggedy ass wig on her to be like this is the epitome when they're like, we must make beautiful woman ugly. Put her in a ponytail wig. Now this is like part like a choppy haircut. Yeah, no, this is part three if they were trying to make her look sad, I
guess this is part three of Wiggate. With these movies, you don't like any any of the wigs, and they don't invest anybody into the quality wig. Yeah, like there are quality wiggeries everywhere. Go back to party city where you in Sicily, I don't know these are filmed in Georgia. Yeah, I don't know where these are filmed. So, yeah, she can't they can't have sex, and then it just cuts to him in a meeting. She walks into the meeting I don't know why she feels like she's Bossona.
Well, she talks. She talks to her friend Olga. Olga's a lot in this so we get a lot of olgad time. We had a lot of Olgad time. Olga is a Lotta's best friend. She's been in all three movies, and she is engaged to one of Massa Mo's henchman's like right hand man. She she got engaged to him right hand man. This silly little rabbit. What talking about the Donald K. Sterling thing where She's like, I'm I'm mister Sterling's right hand on. Oh okay, I'm his
confidante, his friend. His silly little rabbit does call you that? No, got it? Um? Yeah, So she talks to Olga and is like, I'm sad and I want to have sex. Um. So she he's in a business meeting with a bunch of people. She walks through a meeting in a very like silky slinky dress. Um. He follows her leaving the meeting, leaving these all these old like crime boss guys just to kind
of like fuck off. Yeah, and not a hospitable place either. There wasn't any t yeer coffee on these two No and yeah, mass and will get it together and then they go and have sex. I'm gonna get our first sex scene of this moment. Yeah, it's it's pretty short, and it's a pretty short sex scene and they just kind of like he just she just kind of straddles him. And we were kind of disappointed by this first sex scene. I wrote. Yeah, I wrote down first sex scene Moss
bad. Yeah it's not good. Yeah, it's not Moss good. It's not Miss good. So it was it's like awkward and uncomfortable. They're doing these weird gyrating things that aren't even in rhythm with each other. They're not in rhythm, so like she is like pelvic thrusting and you know at the opposite time of his pelvit they're saying like it's it looked so off and it looked honestly like they are kind of known with us to have uncomfortable sex.
Yes, and this one was like the most uncomfortable of all at leasting them do a lot of weird chin just like just like the physicality is very rough and like I've always described as painful looking. Yes, yeah, so yeah, Massimo, like anytime it's a sex scene with him. He's a very uh we'll say aggressive lover. He was He's hurting skin with his finger tips. Yeah yeah, he was grabs and like rubs and like that scratches, but like just really just like I would get like rug burd And this is
the first scene too. I also, you had me write down a note and this is the first time it happens. I just wrote down boob mashing. Yes. Throughout this uh, this episode three, this movie three, everyone grabs tit crazy. Yeah, they grabbed tit like they grab it like a stress ball. Yeah, like a stress ball, Like they're grabbing that. They're grabbing full tit and it looks so uncomfortable. It's like mashing it. Yeah. I didn't like that. Yeah, yeah, so that happens.
Correct, what's next? So yeah, they here's the thing that is crazy. Yeah, And okay, so here's where I think we're gonna struggle a little bit. So the second movie, almost nothing happens the entirety of the movie, and then the last like ten fifteen minutes is like the most interesting and exciting thing of the entire series. Movie three is an hour and fifty three minutes. They could have edited enough out for it to be Oh no, let me rephrase that. They could have edited out an hour and
fifty three minutes of time. This was the most pointless movie. Nothing happens in this fucking movie. Nothing fucking happens in this movie. So this is I know we're gonna I'm just gonna give like a synopsis, yea, and we'll talk about all the other fun things. There are fun things that happen moments. Let's do that. Because so she they you know, they're having sex. It's uncomfortable sex. I believe they have some uncomfortable sex twice.
But he's immediately pissed off at her because he can tell something's wrong. Massimo is pissed off at Laura and is like, what's going on. She's having sex dreams about Nacho. She misses Nacho, even though she's only spent two days with the calls her pretty early on. He randomly calls her yeah, and it's like I miss I miss you, and she's like, I'm so sorry. Then she's having sex dreams about him, etc. Her she really focuses on her like clothing design business he bought her. She ignored. She
feels ignored. They're they're they're fighting. They're fighting and kind of just giving each other, so the silent treatment. He's sleeping in in a different bed, he's masturbating and masturbating in the shower. Um. And then at one point they like pass each other and bump like bumping in the hallway. They bump like shoulders and just kind of stare each other your hands, Yeah, yeah, yeah, they just so they're having issues, and so she starts
thinking and and then she's about Nacho. Yeah, start seeing about Nacho, and I was thinking about Nachos. And then they get to go to Portugal. They get to go to Portugal for like a fashion week kind of thing for her business. And while they're there, there's a lot of olga time, lots of partying throat, there's so much. There is so much olga. She's like, let's go to lunch, which to be like two and a half songs play of them just laughing at lunch. Oh my god.
Okay, yeah, well let's see we'll talk about it, okay. But she's in fashion week, Nacho's there. She leaves with Nacho um and they have sex, and then she goes on hiatus and goes to her parents house
and stuff. Well, well, so they have sex and then she the next morning she goes back to her hotel and Massimo is there, oh right, and he's like, it's been like twenty four hours she's been missing and he's like, where have you been and she's like A walk, I walk, um so and then Lauda's like, hey, I need you to give me space. I need some time. I'm like and he said, I'll leave you the jet. Yeah. Yeah. Well she was like, my I have one foot out the door, like in this marriage, like I
just need a figure. I just need some time to thank and and he leaves and just he leaves her a note that's like, I'm the headed. I went back to Sicily. You know the jet is at your disposal? Yes, and then I guess. And then apparently she goes and buys a bi motorcycle and driving with a motorcycle and we didn't even establish that she had a license for that, like, well, we didn't know who. The scenes started with this conversation between this old guy and this woman and we're like,
who is this who are these fucking people? And it turns out that it was Lada and her dad. Yeah, so she's goes to visit her parents. She's having lunch with their parents. Her mom's like, what's wrong, and she's like, I'm in love with another man. Another montage happens for this lunch, and then it ends with her mom being like, I think women should be selfish. Do it makes you happy? You know?
Well, yeah, she gave it in a weird way, but she essentially does the like how can we take care of others if we don't take care of ourself kind of thing. Yeah, And then she you know, goes to lunch with her dad. Another lunch montage. She gets on the phone with Olga and Olga's like, okay, Mossumo knows, yeah, Massamo knows. This is the longest synopsis. I was gonna do this much quicker, but and she goes, okay, I need to go home. So she's
like parents, She's like, by parents, I'm going home. And then she goes home and Nacho picks her from the airport and she's like Nacho and he's like, yeah, sorry, I shouldn't be here, but anyone talk to you. Let her time, And he just goes on this long thing about how much he loves her and he'll give her as much space as she needs and treat her like a queen. Da da da pick pick me vibes right, and then drops her off at her house at Massimo's house, who
apparently has no security. Yeah, And she goes and talks to Massimo on the beach and he's like, I love you. Well, he's like, he's like, I understand why you did what you did, Like, because that's the thing. Oh, they mentioned this in the second one. We forgot that she lost when she was pregnant. She lost the baby because of
the explosion. Yeah, and so I guess it's, you know, revealed that Massimo has been having emotional issues with that and struggling and it's and I guess it's his fault, even though like she doesn't even try to help him deal with like the trauma of losing his son. Well, yeah, they're not there for each other at all. Yeah. And he's like, so I understand I've been distant because of that. I understand why you did what you did, but I love you. And then he says like, well,
you are you coming back with me? Baby girl? Baby girl is back. Yeah, and then the movie ends, and then the movie ends, well, and then we get I'm gonna guess liberally I'm gonna sit or conservatively, I'm gonna say twenty five minutes of just a camera spinning around them in complete silence. Yeah, that happened too, Yeah, and then it ends. So this entire movie is just about Laura making a choice between one
of the guys. I never learned what that choice is. Correct. Two hours of just her struggling to decide between two people, and then we don't even get the answer. Yes, yeah, it ain't ban ban ban. Yeah. Hey, beautiful bitches, have you heard of our Patreon yet? This is a really great exclusive place where you can get two bonus odes a month, monthly live streams, a private discord to chat with us, and
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get into them with some of the fun things that we liked. And I'm finding if they're a little out of order because there were some wild things I really want touch on, because there were a few really good sex things. But I'm generalize them because they have they have multiple times. They loved showing Lauda and Massimo in strip club. A couple of different scenes happen, one that she's in, one that she's not, And I loved that. I
love seeing them in a strip Well, they kind of established it. They kind of established that in the beginning, from the very beginning of the movie series of him kind of having like in the first one, they're constantly just some sexy women around, like doing things. There's very much like house mob
vibes. There's always like women around they were editing. No, I don't know, like there was multiple scenes of like strippers in the first one, or like there's that scene when they go to like the red Room, even though it's that's been but that's in his house. Yeah, but but there's like a woman there with them. I'm saying, yes, I'm just saying, like they just showed him in a actual strip club with strippers on a
pole and stuff. I just thought that it's fun. And then like she's like they're like watching one of the dancers dance like they're book into it, and then she leaves. They have sex in the strip club, and I really enjoyed that, having sex in the strip club, yeah, or just that, like because that was another weird scene where they were having awkward sex. But yeah, but the idea, the concept of it, yeah, call me a cook. Like I really enjoyed that. I like that.
I liked them like watching like like the dancer was there like kind of half watching and like and like like public sex is fun. I just thought it was fun. I just thought it was a good I was just trying to understand what part of it you found fun. Yeah, public sex is fun. Um Yeah, Like I just liked that in general, like when we went to go to the strip clubs. I liked watching like the dancer dance
on you and stuff like that. Like I thought like they introduced a lot of thirdness in this one, sure, and I just thought that was neat. Yeah, they did that a lot. They did that a lot in this one, A lot of strip time in a lot of thirds. Yeah, in some form or fashion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well your takeaways, um boy, oh boy, Lada is crazy, Like they're all bad there are times where like Massimo was trying to like understand and Lada was
just gaslight. Well, there's also clearly moments of Massimo like reaching out for help and like her shutting him down. Now once again that is with the understanding that this whole thing started because he kidnapped her. But still, yeah, we're past that point. Um, Like it was stupid and not that funny, but like the Olga stuff was like a fun little palate cleanser on a lot of the Like she's always like a fun friend. But I really
think they like amped up her quirkiness in this. They did, but it was at least but the Olga stuff was the most interesting thing happening throughout the whole movie. They had entire higher like fifteen minutes dedicated to Olga running away from the bouncer. Yeah, with like a scoot straight up Scooby Doo chase scene minute. Yeah, yeah, Scooby Doo chase scene. Almost we think she's gonna die because she's gonna like fall off of the fire staircase, like
she's trying to escape their room. Yeah, we kept trying to we kept trying to guess things that were going to happen. And turns out everything was we guessed was way more interesting than this movie was planning to be. Yeah, it was insane, but because of Olga and all her cookiness, we learned some Polish. Oh my god, we did because we watched this movie with the subtitles on, because everyone's got an accent from a different land. Yeah. So in the movie in general, has a lot of subtitles.
It goes from like it's speaking English, there's Italian, there's Polish, and it kind of just really just randomly comes in and goes in and out. Yeah, because um Lauda is Polish, so it is Olga, and then Masumo's Italian and there's also English involved. So there's a lot. There's many of accents, and they're still hard sometimes, especially when they're passionate. Yeah.
And you know what's funny I thought about in this, and I guess it makes sense because English movies do this as well, is that whenever there's a pole, whenever two Polish people are speaking, they're always speaking Polish. Whenever, too, like a Polish person in Italians are speaking, they're speaking
English. And then whenever two Italians speak, they're also speaking English. Yeah, which is very funny to me, but I guess it makes sense that they're going to be like, well, we'll just kind of have most of it be the two languages that we know. Yeah, for where this is made, Well, do you want to talk about yes, the Polish that
we learned. Yes, So there's a point. So we've got so it's they're speaking Polish, and it's Olga and Lata are just having a good time when they're in Portra Goal and they're having lunch and they're speaking they're speaking Polish. Yes, they're they're having this long conversation in Polish. We've got the subtitles on and so it's telling us what it translates to in English. Yes. And so in English the subtitles, the woman comes up and says the
drinks or the cocktails. Olga's is waving at Louder because a lot is like facing the Beatles, so she's waving. She's letting her know, Hey, the cocktails are here, and she says the cocktails. That's what the subtitles hey. It's hey, hey, hey, comma cocktail got its cocktail. Cocktail, Hey cocktail. But what she said in Polish, yes, And
so the Polish version of that was Hey, drinky. Yeah, they're having this back and forth polish conversation and then she just goes, hey drinky translates to hey cocktail and I don't know, I think we're flu in polish now. It was the funniest thing it's ever happened a movie. Just we're watching this scene number roll and we just hear hey drinking in the middle of her just rattling off polish and then she continues to speak Polish after that, and
then Yeah, just seeing underneath it, just say, hey cocktail. Was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Um oh, this has to be the spiciest thing that's ever been in one of these movies that we got to talk about because I'm so excited about it. Is um lauda is you know in the midst of her figuring out movie, there's a lot of dream sequences in the midst of her because there's there is there's a lot of sex sequences, nothing to rant and rape about. Kind of hard to see
them because they were dark a lot, but nothing crazy. But she's having one and naturally she's thinking about both men because she's trying to make the decision and It starts with um her and I believe her and Nacho in bed, and then she like is getting you know, they're kissing, kissing, kissing, and she like opens her eyes and it's Massimo and You're like, oh, she's thinking about both of them. No, Like another body comes in.
She's in a Massimo Nacho sandwich, and then she is in she is in an Italian sub and I am squealing inside because we have a tray way right now. I'm like, yes, I'm here for it. They're all kissed in on her. Each side of her is being loved on, touched on, kissed on by sexy Italian man and it really got me thinking, like could I do a threesome with two men? Like It's never once crossed my mind, but I was like, I'm into this. They're just like
she's the star star of the show. And then I immediately was like, but I think that's why I couldn't handle it, because if they don't understand on the start of the show, I don't want them kissing on each other. I don't think I'm into that. And as soon as I think that that, I'm like, I wouldn't be into the guys mingling amongst themselves, Possible and Nacho start making out. I am screaming, I am gagging, And then I realized when I am into that, I would love nothing more
than to see Adam kiss another man. And what of I what a time. I'll tell you what. I can't watch threesomes like on the porn websites because they're just like not good and they're not cute and just gross. Just they're just too much. They're like the most aggressive things. This was like very sensual, so seeing one done nice was fun. No, good for you? So now I think we should have a threesome with another man after, you know, after we have sex in the car and you're up for
it. Yeah, that's a great step. It'll be car sex and a threesome with another dude. Yeah yeah, only feel are both Italian though, and like Duljan Gabana models. Yeah yeah, I list into it. What were your thoughts on the on this threesome? It was just like another sex scene that was happening. No, you weren't like caught off guard and like how fun could we never get to We see so many sex scenes in movies and stuff, but we don't win home. I so often did we get
two men? It was fun saying like that that, um, that happening in a movie visualized in a movie, because that doesn't really happen. They really slowly lead into that too. It took them like ten minutes to lean into each other and kiss. I was not I thought I was waiting for it to cut away, and it didn't. I'm like, get it, Yeah, let's go boys. Yeah. So yeah, No, it was fun to see that. But I mean I didn't have like any It was just like another one, another sex scene in this movie for me? What
was a standout sex scene for you? Then? Um? Really, the only sex scene that I thought was good was the well I guess, well, oh you know what, it wasn't. There was a different one that I was thinking about is the one where Latta and Nacho have sex on the beach. It's a good one, that was. But here's the thing. That was the only one I even thought was decent. Yeah, do you tell? Especially compared to the other ones, Like all the rest of them
were awkward. I guess the like three way one was fine, um, but like all the other ones just were really awkward and uncomfortable to watch. They also looked very far away, which using in comparison to the first two. I don't know if they had a bigger beach ball in between them. Yeah. When you say far away, like the people are far like, yeah, they're far away from each other, like the angles didn't ever weren't
even like remotely close to working. Yeah, and like we mentioned before, there was a lot of like off sync humping, yeah, where they're going in the wrong directions from each other. But the one on the beach was very good. I told you, I was like, damn, we need to get a rug. Yeah beach yeah, yeah, yeah, No, that one was really good. That's when she um leaves with Nacho from the fashion week, Um to go cheat on Massimo and wh wally, do you have anything to say? That was pretty good? Um, I agree,
but uh, very good. When Yeah, there was lots of pillows, a lot of candles in Nacho's house that were already lit when he got home. Yeah, maybe he's got a really bomb like housekeeper that he texts and candles set up on the beach that were already lit. That was really pretty. It was very honestly decor It was very it was very pretty. I'm just like it's more of like the logistics of that. Why are they already
They had like pillar candles like half buried in the sand. It's like there's flames coming out of the sand, which was nice and like not a hazard at all, which is so nice because sand just puts out fire or turns the glass. Oh um, just stepping on glass out there da have a Nacho left candles on the end um. Also, Nacho has a house that's very misleading. They walk in and it is all ye, you were unimpressed.
They walk into an entryway. The entryway is all like wood, but not like sleek, light colored wood, like cabin like medium wash and dark wash. It just kind of looked like an average house. He'll say a cabin to me. And it looked like a mud room. Like there was like shoes, I swear in. Jacket's just hung up. So I'm like, oh, wow, she's gonna have. Is this the trade? Like Masimo who's kind of shitty with all this money. And then there's Nacho, pretty boy, romantic, but he lives in a shack. Yeah, And
then I'm like, wow, he lives in a shack. And then they turn a corner and it's a complete mansion and I'm like, whoa, never mind yeah, um with like that's completely open into the pool like this big fountain, yeah, big bowl with two spouts. Yeah. Um yeah. Nacho got money too. She's in between a rock and Hartway so got options. Um. But yes, and then there yeah, it was really nice.
It was a huge We're talking about like eight Botts wheel of rug Like there was enough rug downe to be rolling because they did a many of a position they did they yeah, yeah, they tried it. They did the whole damn kind of suture. Yeah. No, yeah, they were they were just missionary. We got reverse Cowgirl and there we did that side by side ship that we almost popped a wheelbarrow like it was all happening. We got to Eiffel Tower in this piece on the outside outside rugs yeah um and
that made me realize. I was like that must be so nice instead of like a couple of towels and like doing our best, like nah, we need to get some rugs. Yeah yeah, here for it with all the pillows. Sex on the beach. Sex on the beach. My favorite drinkie, it's heydrinky oh old as a ham. We never got to see Olga get married. They really hyped up her. God showed throughout this entire movie, her designing her wedding dress, and then just kepting like, you're not
single anymore, Olga, You're getting married. They did they never and then they never saw Olga get married. Yeah, yeah, well they do that a lot in these movies. They really like an answer question. It's been a lot of time setting something up and then just like never. It's like feel like they keep forgetting about things that they did. And also it's very fun because their writing is so simple. Yeah, it's them saying like cheesy
lines to each other a lot. And I was telling I was telling you this that it feels like the book was translated into English from another language, but it is a smart book. So it is just very like I want you and only you. Nothing else in this world matters well in this movie.
And then and they just say things like that the entire time. Yeah, no, no, it's it's very simple, very my first like it's very my first book, where like, you know, you're trying to sound more arcsy or like you want your characters to be these like philosophical people, but really it's just like the shit that you get that people post on Facebook all the time. There's movies two hours long. There's probably enough dialogue to feel like a forty five like a like an hour long TV show, So
it's only like a forty five minute TV show. Yeah, Like there's not a lot of dialogue and it's just a fucking lot of montages with music dialogue simple because the music says it all. Oh my god, there's so much music in this and not like background like theatrical music, like songs like fool songs. If you were an artist featured in the soundtrack of these movies,
you got a free music video out of it. Yeah. They always do the full song full montage of them either at half like Giggling and eating or sex. There's like a full album like worth of music in each of these movies. Yeah, and to the point where it is like just songs and it's like the full song. What if we've missed something huge here? What if this is like one of those music video movies. Oh, everyone does those, we find out. Yeah, these movies are like secretly produced by
John Legend. Oh no, not John Legend. Don't sneer his name, like it's gonna see us um yeah, maybe it's a video album. We just didn't know it. By the way, I'm so glad those seemed to slow down. Those are getting out of hand. Um, yeah, I'm a little Now I'm like, is there a fourth one we don't know about? Because yeah, it just ends on it does It ends on such a cliffhanger the next sixty five days. I feel like we need thirty six five
more days. Well, And what drives me crazy with this one is literally that's the only plot of this movie. It's the only thing that happens is this in this whole fucking movie is just Laura trying to like figure out which man she wants to be with, and then they don't like and then we don't never find out this movie. There's zero reason for this to be a trilogy, zero reason for this to be a trilogy. And yeah, no,
I completely agree. And Nacho, they're both very handsome men, but they're very like unconventional sure, which is very interesting because like Nacho's got those big old bug eyes and I think he lost weight. He was so skinny. He looked you look like. At one point described to him a prison break dude. Yeah, I won. At one point described him as gaunt because yeah, his cheeks were like second sunken in. Yeah, I don't know what happened there. I don't remember him looking like that in the second
one. I don't either remember him being a little more yeah less gaunt, Yeah, gauntless. And then same thing Laura. Laura is always a very petite woman, but this one specifically, you can see her bones a lot. Yeah, like her stern to them. Maybe also the white ship, the White ship has come between us made they're all on cooking, Yeah, trying to randomly established as if Massimo had a drug problem, and I'm like, wait, what, well, yeah, and there's only like two points
where we kind of see him kind of trying cocaine. Yeah, and then and then they may try to force that into like as being a whole plot point. Yeah, but what I was going to say, At one point we made the comment that we think there's five different actresses playing Lauda. Yeah, from different constantly looks like a different person. Yeah, she had a different face multiple times, like when she's kind of half blurred out like in
the background, it's clearly a different person. And yeah, we just kept making that joke because that it was like parody level, it's going to show her and she's like a giant black man with a wig on. Yeah, because she was like different heights. Like there's multiple times in this movie where I like, we we only vocalize at once, but multiple times in this movie, I was like, who who is this person? I was like,
oh, that's the main character. Guy. Yeah. Well they also like her hair was darker in this one too, which yeah, she I feel like she was a skinnier in it. Now her hair was like jet black, so she was harder to recognize. And yeah, it just made me sad for her because, yeah, they're doing all these sex scenes and I'm like, she's gonna be cracked in half like a toothpick. It was like, I'm not I'm that body shaming her. Sure, I just hope she's I'm sure she's a fine lady. Um. I hope she's healthy,
because she was. She was just very like to me, like an uncomfortable skinny yeah, or like these sex scenes like that's all I can focus on where I'm like, she all right, yeah, you know, yeah, I have to get too deep. But no, no, no, you're fine. I don't think I agree with you. I don't think she She didn't look worry skinny to me. Really, Yeah, Okay, she's just very She looked like like I didn't think she looked any skinnier than like saying
Angelina Jolie. Okay, well she's also pretty sky. Yeah, but I don't see Angela and A Joey and think like, oh she's unhealthy. Sure, sure, that's fair. Yeah, it was interesting. It was a I was really looking forward to this one. And I don't know why, Well, because I think, like, especially the second one, like ended so wildly. We enjoyed the second one. Yeah, and I think it's just like, even though these movies are bad, there's still like, up
to the there's something fun about him. But this one was just it ended on a bit of a on a low note. Yeah, she should have made a choice. If they're going to end it, she should have made choice. Oh. Also, we got another blow job in this one. We haven't got we haven't a blow in a while. Oh no, she okay, we got two? Else did she give? She didn't give one to anyone, but it kept in that weird scene where it's like he's where Massimo's in the strip club. Yeah, and the woman's like licking him.
Oh. They kind of keep flash cutting to someone getting him blow someone else getting yeah. Yeah, because this ship club had a lot of kink things in it, like women with like gag balls in their and things like that, a little bit of a kink club, which was interesting. I thought that was pretty fun. Um, but yeah, very montagey, and it made it a little difficult to keep up with. Yeah, so now they we're coming to me, we're sending it all three of them. Which one
would you say has the best sex scenes? Oh? I don't remember, and all well, some of the standout moments. I mean, the first one has that really crazy borderline assault blow job on the plane. Yeah, I probably the stand out. I really like the boat sex. The boat they had a like really good montage of the boat sex. And the first one. I really think the first one. I think nothing beats like the
first excitement of it all. I get that the first one just has a lot of like very aggressive Yeah. The first one was basically eighty percent sex. Yeah yeah, um, with like very little plot. Yeah. I kind of felt like there, like we need something more here. Yeah, he does. He does quite a bit in the first one, So I think that's my stand out. But I will never forget honorable mention. And um, I keep saying episode and the sequel and the second movie of um
golf golf course sex. Yeah, I'm trying to remember, but I don't remember if they have sex. Doesn't she just kind of like just a lot of like she just kind of flirts with him and shows her vagina to him. Yeah, yeah, well, don't forget. The second one also has that scene you really loved and I and I really liked where she where she ties him in the chair and she plays she plays with herself. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was very fun. That was very expressive of her.
Yeah, that was an art that was yeah, art piece pie. Yeah, it was a concept. That was a fun one. Yeah. And then this one, I mean, I can't I can't be getting a good quality threesome moment which sure two dudes making out that was really fun and then just like fonding all over her. I was like, as you should, yeah, like queen, Yeah, this one was really good and you brought this up before, but they did. It did happen very early on in this movie. Again, Olga does as she traditionally does, walks in
on Laura and Massimo having sex. Yeah. Oh, we didn't talk about how Laura goes into the office and like, I guess her designer is getting Oh yeah, I get what that scene was about. One works for her is getting plowed and Laura walks in and they just yeah, they both look at her and kind of just like smirk and they're like, oh, I thought you weren't coming in this morning. Yeah, and she's like okay,
and the they have like a full conversation with her Cucci out. Yeah, that girl had no pants on, pants out, dance off and they're talking and then she drops the bomb of like well and she's like, well, I didn't know you were going to be getting fucked before nine am. And I'm like, what a vibe, What a vibe to be like in this role, had her hair done, glam done, she's like an incredible and
she is being bent over a table and it's not even nine am. Talk about another day at the office, talk about work at nine to five? Of them all right, um, what a vibe. I would love nothing more than to feel like we all gland up in my office and just bent over again rail yeah. Yeah, And I haven't even had a cup of coffee, yet don't talk to me until Yeah. Yeah, so that was that was that was a I forgot about that though. Yeah. She just
walks in and they both have zero reaction. The man and her employee have zero reaction. Well, the man even flirts with Laura as he leaves. Yeah. But when she was walking up the stairs to go in her office, there was a downstairs assistant. I was like, no, no, no, miss, don't go up there, Like, why does the assistant downstairs? No, they're think I think the does the head designer woman makes He's like, oh, he's my new muse. I think it's one of
those things where she's like it's part of the process. Show me your dick, Yeah I need to know Yeah, to design the pants, yeah, to design a white dress, design these female dresses, to design these very plain regulars. You're really hating on her design I didn't hate on her designs, but they this the woman Nachos sister makes the whole thing like, oh my god, your dress is amazing, and I would love it and like acted like it was this incredibly like brand new thing she's never seen and it
was just like a white dress. Well, I love I don't. I've seen Project one one way, and so I've never seen this happen before. But they put a this, you know, they made a design and then they had the design pinned on the mannequin and they all started clapping. I didn't catch that. They all they are like, mmm, we just pinned material onto the bust form and this is what the dress is gonna look like,
and they all just started clapping. Funny. Could you imagine? That's very funny, Like after every time you're done designing something and putting him on the bus form, just everyone does a round of applause where they're like, yeah, Lata, she designed her first thing. There's there's a few things like that that happens where throughout this entire series, I've thought like, these
people don't know how this process works. Final thoughts. Final thoughts on you know, three seasons, three dedicated episodes to the three sixty five UM trilogy, UM Narrative Experience. There are sex. This movie has everything. There's a lot of sex, cocaine, cocaine, kidnapping, deception, sexual assault,
gas lighting, delusion, Laura Nacho, drinkies. Um. Yeah, there's a yeah, I I you know when when every time we watched one of these movies or start one of these movies and they're all like two hours long. In my head, I'm like, this will be so boring, and there's they never completely are. They're not like boring to watch. Now, this one tonight, I wonder if it might have been. But we had a little help getting through it. Yeah, um yeah, you and
I were just laughing the whole time. Yeah. Um. So you know, if you got six hours to kill, I'm gonna say, if you have four hours to kill, watch the first two and yeah, just be prepared because there's a lot of montages. There's a lot of good montages though, that I will say, at least in the first two, even in this third one, break out your vibrator and just yeah, skip you to the naughty bits. Yeah no, I don't agree with that. I mean
it accomplished. It is accomplishing what it is trying to do. It's trying to be sexy, So mission accomplished. I want to read this last note that you wrote down because I don't know what it says. Okay, I want to try and read your last note of this movie. Okay, not not right, not right? Beards for camp no, wait, that could be limit, but it's missing a few letters. No, no, no right no right birds for for for comps whatever. Adam writes like a doctor
and I cannot read that. I don't even know if he knows what he wrote down. Yeah I don't. Yeah, I think I just jotted something really quickly, and I don't know what this says. What does that say? My guy? No right, beards for camp. Hold on and just remember something on his grace shoes camp I shortened as shorthand. It's compet comptroller no competitive for complacent, no not. This is how Adam wrote his vows. Right. Oh, that's gonna drive me crazy because I remember writing in
and a shorthanded comp What was your note? Not right? It's this one middle word, this one that might be beers but definitely isn't. God. That sucks. Do you think your mom she would know exactly what it said, probably or my Yeah, I'm gonna try again. So you think this is no not not not? There's a T there this this this, yeah, this apostrophe looking thing is a T. Here's how I write shortan,
Here's how I write is I right drink? I write by like? I write by like Uh, so here's the thing, right, Okay, there's no word. This is this is how I write it. Does the end and the oh are clear? Right? But at no point do you put an apostrophe at the end of No, there's no grammatical reason that whatever happened. So because there's a line there, I know it's a t well you literacy. It looks like a staple like that goes into a stapler, as opposed to a staple that goes into a not a stapler. Not right,
not right, beards not right, birds not right. We'll never know you also ohe coucie sound effects. Oh, coucie sound effects. Okay, So there was a point in time where they are Nacho or Massimo. One of them is going down on loud act. She has this receiving oral. She has a sex dream about Nacho. He starts giving Nacho and the dream starts giving her oral and then it at some point it turns into Massimo and it is reality. Back to reality. Hope there goes gravity. It ain't that
easy. Yeah, and yeah, he is going down on her and you can literally hear like like it is in It's wild. It's the smacking noisures are so loud. Yeah, just oh we also get that gross saliva kiss. Oh yeah, there is a slimy whinmy kiss and that Oh yeah, they pull apart, but there's a whole string yeah, of vava like right in between. It's called I right, just right connecting them like like that.
That is in lading the tramp saliva right there. It was pretty so there were some Yeah, there were definitely some interesting gnarly moments in regards to the sound effects. And then yeah, the vava kiss what a vibe. I did not need to hear the couci sounds. Yeah, yeah, we'll let us go. I wonder what would have said if we had the subtitles on at that point. I don't think we turned them on until afterwards.
Oh yeah, because it usually says like moans in the distance. Yeah, yeah, munching sounds just parentheses and parentheses just as kind of lingus probably probably honestly because because yeah, it was a wild time. Because I think about how someone had to go back and end that sound. Yeah, Foliard, that's what I think about. Yeah, so poorfoliartists to go in there make a whole bowl of mac and cheese. Yeah, just to put them just to stir the mac and cheese for a good Yeah, yeah, Sonny,
that's what I imagine that they had to use. You can only use the fresh pot of mac and cheese to accomplish that. Sound okay, final, any final thoughts, I don't think so. I think get through for the Nati bit, skip through for the NAUGHTI bits, and and watch. I would say watch like the last thirty minutes of the sequel of the second one, because also the guy who plays Nacho really makes a very different character choice
with the evil brother who plays Massimo. I'm sorry. The guy who plays Massimo is also the play playing the evil twin brother and makes some wild, bold choices, and I respect him so much. Give me your best Massimo, evil Massimo. No, no, no, regular regular Masmo. If you had to give me your best impression of regular Massimo, give me a line Massimo. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. Get
over your baby girl. That was bad. Those are cute. Get over your baby girl, he whispered, talks, he does, and then okay, now give me not give you evil toon brother. Oh you gonna give you a lie. I don't remember his name it's like Adriano gizippie, I cannot do this anymore. Oh, I'll get you a massimo. It's so amazing. It's so high pitched. Yeah, oh that's true. He does almost a cartoon voice. It's like, yeah, he does the most cartoonish
evil twin It's so good. It's so good. It's a very high pitch. It's so funny, and it's it's it's it is a laughable thing him being an evil twin brother. Yeah, definitely go in for um the second one for that. Yeah, you won't, you won't work it. Yeah, three three, three movies. Now we got to figure out if there is another line of smut movies. And y'all don't recommend Nickrophiliac. That's a lazy choice. It's too artsy and it's not sexy. It's really sad.
So I stopped writing us emails and tweets saying that we needed necrophilia. Isn't that that like six hour one Necrophiliac nympho nimphomaniac, nymphomaniac. Yes, there are two parts in both of them are like three hours and nothing is going on, and there's just so much assault in that one. And it's very artsy and it ain't no Boogie Nights, which we've also been told to do a reaction to play. You know. Yeah, well I've never seen Boogie Knights. What. Yeah, I've seen Bogie Nights all the time. I
watched it like once a year. He gives me strength. He's been through a lot. Yeah, No, I've never seen Boogie Nights. That's arguably Mark Wahlberg's best movie. I'm gonna say not arguably, Oh, it is his best movie. Yes, okay, I can dang one. That's so funny. I can believe you've never seen Blinky Nye. Yeah, it's a really good movie. It's it's sad, though. I don't think we should talk about it on episodes in the Patreon um. All right, well,
I I'm super thrilled that we finished off the trilogy. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're done with three sixty five unless the fourth one comes out at some point. I guess we'll have to keep our eyes out. Baby girl Girl and the Nacho's chart. It was like, I'm going to also give her a pet name. Out of Nowhere, Yeah called her little Bee. Yeah, out of Nowhere calls her little Bee. Little buzz buzz bees. At least baby girl, you can like understand the
logic behind it. And he called her that from day one, hyeah into the movie and he's just like little bettle be. Can you imagine. I look you one day and I was like, come over here, you fat ass wasp ca where are you? Crunchy hornet? But you do that all the time. You don't give me nicknames then stick, but you do like that. You do that, You'll do like stuff like that. You'll call me random things. Give me an example. I like also you saying like
nothing sticks. Well no, I mean like you don't ever say it as though this is your new nickname. You just say it as though this is what I'm calling you at this moment. Oh, I want an example to be, like, get over here, you fuzzy toothbrush. I always I always call you by your body parts, always like rump is, dump us over here? Yeah, yeah, you always do stuff like that. Hellover here, little bottle sponge. I just pick different household night is because you're
just naming things around the house. Yeah, come over here, have drunk three day old milk. Reach to do dishes. I'll do them tomorrow. I'll do them tomorrow. Do you work tomorrow? Well? Love you, Love you all right until next time, Stay Horny Bitches. If you enjoy today's episode of Balled Up Bitches, be sure to rate and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast. To join in on more of our conversations and fun.
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